


Why Storms Are Named After People

by Naava



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternative Universe - Different Timeline, Bullshit Politics, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Complicated Relationships, Fix-It of Sorts, I'm making things up as I go, M/M, Slow Burn - Kind of, So many cliffhangers you all are going to hate me by the time I'm done with this fic, happily ignoring canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2018-09-11 17:12:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 229,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8999599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naava/pseuds/Naava
Summary: Reforming a village is a lot harder than Sasuke would have thought, especially with people throwing coups and assassinating Hokages left and right. In other news, half of his team are crushing on him, Sasuke wants nothing to do with feelings, and who knows what Kakashi is thinking behind that mask of his.





	1. Gathering Storm

**Author's Note:**

> This story happens in a timeline that is different from canon. Sasuke does leave Konoha and Naruto defeats Pain just like in canon, but Sasuke stays with Orochimaru until he is 19 - that is where this story starts. This means that Sasuke is an adult in this fic.
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: mention of suicide

 

_November, the third year of peace  
_ _The Land of Snow_

He gets caught for the first time in years.

He is on a mission in the Land of Snow, under orders to infiltrate the northern stronghold hidden deep within the high mountains, steal a scroll of a forbidden jutsu for Orochimaru and get out, all this undetected if possible. A simple mission, really, for a shinobi like him.

The problem is that the mission turns out to be anything but.

He sneaks over the tall walls surrounding the fortress, navigates his way through the long corridors of the building without a hitch and lets himself in the vault guarding the sacred artefacts of the Snow Country. But just after he gets his fingers on the scroll and manages to hastily send it to his master with his summon animals, a group of the pale ninjas of the Snow barge in the room.

Maybe they knew that Orochimaru would send somebody after the jutsu – it’s no secret that the Sannin has been itching to get his hands on this particular scroll for months now –  and the shinobis were just simply waiting for their chance to ambush the intruder. Maybe they knew, maybe not, but the only fact that matters now is that they caught him. The guards with their heavy armours and faceless masks corner him and this time the thousand birds singing in the palm of his hand aren’t enough to get him out of there.

Sasuke is tossed into a dingy cell and kept there for what feels like days. Time is lost to him in the windowless room as he sits there with nothing to do, chains to temporarily seal his chakra weighing down his wrists. During this time of the year and especially this far up north, the sun doesn’t rise at all, not even during the days, and Sasuke wouldn’t be able to tell when a night ends and a day is born even if he was outside, his face raised towards the sky.

The shinobis from the Snow are ruthless in their ways of questioning him. They are fast to resort to outright beating him to find out why he is here and what Sasuke knows of them and their people. And most importantly, they want to know where he has hidden what he stole from them.

Sasuke refuses to say a word. He grits his teeth together and faces the pale ninjas with the arrogant contempt that comes so naturally to him. His silence is not caused by any mislead loyalty to Orochimaru – because there is no such thing in him – but because of who he is as an Uchiha. And if Sasuke knows exactly as much as the Snow shinobis about why Orochimaru wants this scroll – meaning he has no idea either – well, his captors don't need to know that. The Sannin didn't deem the reasons important enough to share with him, apart from telling Sasuke to get the jutsu no matter what the cost.

The air in the cell is so cold that Sasuke can taste the sharpness of it. By now his eyes have got used to the darkness and he can make out the faint, light form of his icy breath. The brick wall he is leaning against oozes freezing cold that makes his teeth chatter. The light clothes he is wearing are made for warmer climates and do not shield him from any of the chill.

The Snow ninjas know what they are doing – they took his thick wool cape away from him as soon as they tossed him into their underground prison, fully aware that beating somebody to pulp is not the only way to torture a shinobi. Half-delirious with the creeping hypothermia, Sasuke chuckles to himself that by trying to be so clever with the means of making him miserable, they might accidentally freeze him to death before they get anything out of him.

The door opens with a _clang_ and Sasuke shifts his head a little to stare through the curtain of his messy hair at the burly guard that appears at the doorway. Satisfyingly, the man seems affected by Sasuke’s glare even when he can't activate his sharingan. Sasuke is pleased to notice that despite the sorry state he is in, he does have some psychological power over his captors, no matter how little. At least the Uchiha name is still good for something.

The guard, quite wary of Sasuke and his bloodshot eyes gleaming in the darkness, is happy to wait until another guard arrives to assist him with their chakraless prisoner. Then the man walks into the cell to hoist Sasuke up when he doesn’t get on his feet on his own. In the end, the two guards have to physically drag him out of the cell. Sasuke has decided to be as annoying to handle as possible – it was the snow shinobis’ idea to imprison Sasuke and have him there to make their lives harder, not Sasuke’s, so they might as well suffer the consequences. He wouldn't be anywhere near the fortress in the first place if it was up to him.

Sasuke is escorted through a multitude of dark, dozen turns, corners and crossroads. The imposing stone walls around them are just as freezingly cold as the ground under their feet and Sasuke's breath comes out as white puffs. One of the two guards ushering him forward – the younger one with a slightly crooked back – shakes and rattles the chains connected to Sasuke's wrists just for the sake being bothersome. There is a stupid grin across the little skin that is visible of his face from behind the mask, and Sasuke half-seriously plans to yank his end of the chain to make the guard trip over his feet.

Sasuke is pulled out of his thoughts by a sudden movement he catches from the corner of his eye. In the hallway on his left, there is just the tiniest hint of something shifting in the darkness. When he turns his head to take a better look, it’s gone and there is only an empty, dim corridor to be seen.

Sasuke blinks in confusion and stumbles as he nearly loses his balance when the guards push him forward. He is not terribly surprised that his tired and malnourished brain starts to make things up, especially when the fortress is lit up with torches that cast dancing shadows on the stone walls. Imagining things seems most likely when the guards don't seem to have noticed anything out of the ordinary.

After another series of turns to left and right that Sasuke memorises on the go, he finds himself ushered into a large room with a high ceiling. The space seems even darker than any other parts of the dungeons he has been in. There is a complicated, multi-layered seal drawn on the floor, covering the stone tiles from wall to wall. A hooded figure is standing in the middle of it, with carefully positioned feet so that every line of the seal remains untouched. Behind the figure is an old man – clearly someone who used to be a ninja during his younger days, judging by the way he still holds himself. The old man studies him with sharp eyes, but Sasuke pays him no mind.

Sasuke is pushed down onto his knees on the exact centre point of the seal circle. The guards don’t hold back when it comes to the force that they are using, and Sasuke bites his lip as he crashes onto the cold floor knees first. His legs are sure to be bruised tomorrow.

“So, this is the thief that dared to invade our fortress and kill our leader,” the old man gnarls. His accusing voice is so thick with a sharp accent that Sasuke has a hard time making out the words. But despite the translation problems, he is quite sure that he hasn’t killed anybody on this mission yet, and that the old git is punishing him for somebody else’s crimes.

Maybe he wasn’t seeing things in the corridors – maybe there is another invader in the stronghold.

“You have taken the scroll that contains the sacred jutsu of our people, and so you shall be punished by the very same tradition you have stolen from us.”

Sasuke’s hands shake with the cold and his toes start to feel numb in his worn-out shoes. The tile floor under him is so cool against his legs that it’s almost an aching pain that he feels. If he had known that this simple mission would end like this, he would have told Orochimaru to piss off.

The person in the cape with a hood drawn over their head takes their place behind him, signalling the guards to back off to the sides of the room.

Trying to find a clue of what all this is about, Sasuke eyes the marks on the floor again. They are drawn in ink, not blood, and for that he is grateful – ink is always better news than blood, at least for the unfortunate victim. The years spent studying under Orochimaru haven’t all gone to waste, Sasuke notes dryly when he starts to recognize single signs and seals. Now he just needs to understand their meaning when they are used together.

Sasuke has to stop himself from gritting his teeth when he realises what is going on. The sigils on the floor are for blocking and draining chakra. The ninjas of the Snow are going to seal his chakra away, this time permanently. Sasuke can only wonder for what purpose – what use will he be to the people of the Snow without his chakra? By ruining his body unfit for a shinobi career, they will also lose any chance of blackmailing Orochimaru with him – the Sannin will want nothing to do with him if Sasuke is rendered useless.

It seems that the northern ninjas don’t care about what Sasuke thinks of them or their reasoning as the dark ink on the tile floor starts to glow. It’s an ominous sight that lights up the dark room. Sasuke would snort at the theatricality of it if he wasn’t in the unfortunate position of becoming the next victim of the ritual. He is sure that a major village like Konoha wouldn’t bother with all the torches and hoods if they were to seal off his chakra. The Hidden Village of the Leaf would be swift and efficient and done with the whole process in no time. But it seems that up here in the remote north shinobis are more prone to falling back into ancient traditions. 

Sasuke feels the hooded person's chakra concentrating behind him, a mass of energy almost fuming in the air, ready for the act of sealing. They start the series of hand signs and the seal on the floor positively roars in return. There is a feeling of dread growing in Sasuke, and when he glances at the guards positioned near the walls, they seem nervous too. It doesn’t feel like this is an everyday occurrence even here in the Snow.

But Sasuke won't give up this easily. He is an Uchiha, born and raised as one, and that means that he is going to stand up and fight. These bastards threaten to take away the last bit of his family’s legacy he has left, and Sasuke will fight, even if his legs are shaking and his head is spinning.

Slowly, he brings his hands together to get them into a better position to attack the person behind him, careful not to make a sound with the cuffs. Sasuke measures the proportions of the room, counting how long it will take the guards to reach him after his first strike. He makes a show of wiggling his toes and stretching his legs to get his feet better under him. Now his weight is on his toes instead of his knees.

Sasuke draws in a deep breath, masking it as a sign of fear – and just as he is going to go for it, a warm, calloused hand lands on his shoulder.

There's a hot breath on his neck and a painstakingly familiar deep voice in his ear.

”Run when I say so.”

With one swift movement Kakashi reaches down, slams his free hand on Sasuke’s handcuffs and blast the seals open with a pulse of his chakra.

It’s like being hit by a wave at a storming sea when Sasuke’s chakra is released and his energy flows back to him all at once. He feels like he is drowning, but still at the same time, it’s so much easier to breathe – like a weight has been lifted off his chest.

Sasuke has no time to marvel the return of his power further as Kakashi urges him to run.

“Go!”

Around him all hell breaks loose as Kakashi swirls around to hurl a kunai straight at a guard’s head. The man never knew what hit him. Unfortunately, Kakashi isn’t fast enough to down the other one, and the burlier of the two guards manages to shout an alarm into the hallway before the copynin of hundreds of jutsus gets him. Thousands of birds sing in the underground room, the eerie sound of the jutsu echoes in the open space, and Sasuke feels his hair stand up as blue chakra sparks electrify the air.

Another batch of pale, armoured shinobis storms into the room and Sasuke thinks it might be a good idea to finally get up. He scrambles up to his wobbly feet and manages to step aside just in time to avoid a body flying towards him.

"I meant it! Go!" Kakashi shouts at him, irked that Sasuke is still just standing there.

Sasuke scowls at nobody in particular, he is not in the mood for a lecture from his former teacher in a situation like this. He throws a quick look over his shoulder to make sure Kakashi is going to be alright and when he receives a quick, if not slightly annoyed nod back, he stumbles out of the room.

Sasuke rushes through the labyrinth of corridors, running his hand against the wall to keep his balance, and tries to remember the location of the entrance. He loses his footing a couple of times on the slippery floor, but his torn shoes keep frantically slapping against the cold stone as he runs.

Sasuke almost collides into a group of guards when he turns around a corner, nearly slamming straight into their arms. They must have been alarmed by the warning. There’s a clear confusion among the group as the guards try to understand what is going and Sasuke is happy to take advantage of their befuddled state.

This time the ninjas of the Snow are no match for his screaming birds.

And then he is out of that damn place.

Once Sasuke gets outside, he is greeted by icy winds and a forlorn forest. In the forest, he finds a hiding spot up in a high tree. He is just far enough from the outpost that when he crouches down and studies the direction he came from, he can see back at the clearing where the entrance to the fortress is, but any remaining guards shouldn't be able to spot him without knowing where to look – not that they would expect him to hide in the trees instead of running away.

And then Sasuke waits.

He sits there for maybe five minutes – full five minutes of his heart pounding in his chest, his body shivering in the frozen forest and his teeth chattering, all the while telling himself that he is an utter idiot. A stupid, sentimental idiot because Sasuke still cares even though he has told himself many, many times over the years that he shouldn’t.

Sasuke sits there, in the snow-covered tree, wiggling his toes and hugging himself to keep himself warm, until he catches a sight of Konoha's ANBU gear and a flash of hair just as white as the snow falling on Sasuke's eyelashes. This pair of eyes knows where to look, one sharingan finding another, and spots the pale Uchiha amongst the trees in no time.

Kakashi lifts his right hand into a lazy wave before disappearing into the opposite direction.

Sasuke makes a humming sound deep in his throat, annoyed that Kakashi had the audacity to expect Sasuke to be waiting for him. Then he dusts off the snow from his shoulders and begins his long march towards Orochimaru's hideout, already pondering where to steal a set of better clothes from.

 

o0o

 

That mission ends up being one of the very few ones Sasuke almost screws up in his history of serving Orochimaru, but this time he doesn't even particularly care. The Sannin teases him about it for the next two weeks, trying to get under Sasuke’s skin by accusing him of being weak and not having enough power to accomplish even a simple mission like that without getting caught. Sasuke sees the taunting for what it is and lets the jibes slide. Six years ago, when he was just a thirteen-year-old boy who had lost his family twice, he had been prone to exploding every time Orochimaru used Sasuke’s hunger for power against him, but now, at the age of nineteen, Sasuke is quite used to his mentor’s usual tricks and couldn’t care less.

The last six years have passed more quickly than he would have thought. Sasuke had never planned to stay this long, but the snake Sannin had more to teach him that Sasuke could have ever imagined, and despite the ghost of his brother haunting him tirelessly during the nights, the burn for knowledge and finally proving himself had kept Sasuke anchored to the dim hideout.

When the three-year marker had come and Orochimaru had been ready to take his body, Sasuke had subtly got himself assigned on a mission far away from any of the Sannin’s headquarters and his lackeys. Then he had made sure that he would arrive late from that mission. While Sasuke had been away, the Sannin’s health had declined drastically and Orochimaru had had to resort to somebody else, guaranteeing another good three years for Sasuke as the master of his own body.

When Sasuke had finally come back, pretending that he had no clue of what had been going on during his absence, Orochimaru had given him a dirty, glowering look, knowing exactly that Sasuke had purposely danced out of their deal, and promptly refused to teach him for the next two months. That had suited Sasuke just fine – he had in turn taken more missions, and had soon become an essential part of the Hidden Village of the Sound.

Otogakure has never felt like home, but Sasuke has learned to trust some of its ninjas who sometimes accompany him on his missions. Suigetsu, Juugo and Karin are the only ones he would even think of associating the word “friend” with, but as he slowly climbs the ranks among the Sound shinobis – and with time gets the role of a leader among these groups – Sasuke thinks he finally catches a hint of what Kakashi meant with teamwork all those years ago.

Sasuke grows to love the trips away from the hideout. During his missions, he sometimes stops just to listen to the sounds of deep forests and feel the wind on his face, infinitely preferring them over the murky tunnels of Orochimaru’s headquarters. A few years back he would have hated these mission, claiming that they are preventing him from learning and gaining power. But after the years spent under the tutelage of Orochimaru and the constant pressure of defeating Itachi hanging over him, Sasuke has to admit that travelling across the Five Great Shinobi countries and beyond gives him a chance to lose the heavy role of an avenger. For a while he can banish every thought of his brother from his mind and just breathe and admire the diverse cultures and lives he comes across during his journeys.

The solo mission to the Snow is the first time during these six years that Sasuke has run into any of the members of Team 7 since he left Konoha. Considering that he left Naruto to die in the Valley of the End with a hole blasted through the boy’s chest, it was quite amicable of Kakashi to bust him out of the Snow fortress. A large part of Sasuke tries not to care about Team 7, and he downplays the importance of seeing even a glimpse of one of them – because what are they to him but a nuisance?

But in a tiny corner of his mind Sasuke is happy to know that they are alive and about, and despite of everything, still willing to help Sasuke out of trouble. In a passing thought, he wonders why Kakashi was wearing the white of the ANBU, but he doesn’t dwell on it too much.

Though Sasuke hasn’t seen neither hide nor hair of his genin team up until now, he has heard of them. The news of Naruto defeating Pain three years back reached even Orochimaru’s remote hideout, in fact the Sannin himself gloated about the news – wondering out loud if Sasuke was jealous of his former rival who had already saved nations while Sasuke himself was still stuck studying scrolls in dimly lit libraries and practicing his jutsus over and over and over again.

At that age Sasuke hadn’t seen through the taunting, still too young and childish as he had just turned sixteen that summer. When his master had left him, Sasuke had spent that day outside the headquarters, frying everything in thirty-foot radius with his lightning chakra. After he had torched a good patch of the forest black, he had marched back, had Kabuto diagnose his hands with chakra burns and got himself a strict order not to use his chakra for two weeks. That hadn’t exactly calmed his rage over losing to Naruto.

Now, over two years later, more poised and in peace with himself, he almost wishes he could see Naruto in person and hear the story of overcoming Pain from his best friend himself.

 

o0o

 

 _The 29th of December, the third year of peace  
__The Land of Hot Water_  

Another mission later Sasuke finds himself sitting in a tavern – it's probably more of a brothel than a tavern but that's what the sign outside says – waiting for one of Orochimaru's lackeys he was sent on this mission with. The two Oto ninjas split up soon after they had arrived in this civilian city Sasuke can't remember the name of, both of them having a mission of their own. The city, though large and filled with busy people, is so far away from the Great Ninja Countries that Sasuke doesn't recall even seeing it on the maps he had to study in the academy.

Sasuke has already finished his mission, a few days early, and has no other option than to try to make himself as comfortable as possible in the tavern he and the other shinobi agreed to meet in.

He leans his head on his hand, bored, and stares at the crowd with half-lidded eyes. The tavern is a shady place, not the kind of establishment he would normally find himself in, and the people occupying it are just as foul and repulsive. The smell of alcohol lingers heavily in the air, along with other scents Sasuke has no will to recognize. He has had to wave off far too many “friendly” fellow customers for his liking for the evening, and once again he is reminded of how much he hates the white yukata that hangs open over his chest and leaves nothing to the imagination, a custom in the Sound but seemingly nowhere else. Men and women, young and old, keep coming at him, apparently mistaking him for one of the tavern staff.

Sasuke drums his fingers against the surface of the table and colourfully curses the Sound shinobi he was sent here with for choosing this place where everything that moves is trying to molest him.

Speak of the devil, there is once again another desperate soul coming towards him. The man is huge, both in vertical and horizontal dimensions, sweaty and greasy, but his off-putting demeanour clashes with the expensive, well-cut clothes he is wearing. The garments don’t quite fit and Sasuke comes to the unpleasant conclusion that he must have stolen them from someone – because surely no one with such a fine taste in clothes would come anywhere near a place like this. That and the red drunkenness of his face paint a picture of someone who won't take a no for an answer and Sasuke absentmindedly wonders if he will be kicked out of the tavern if he impales this guy with a chidori.

Something familiar catches his eye at the back of the room.

A tall man with light hair tinted with silver moves through the crowd, firmly pushing people out of his way. The drunkards are scattering away, scared of the katana strapped to the man’s back and the one red eye glaring at them.

Sasuke hasn't got the time to ponder over what Kakashi is doing here – instead he launches into trying to make Kakashi notice him by staring at his former teacher as intently as he can and muttering curses at him under his breath. He can listen to a rant about coming back to Konoha if his old sensei just saves him from this mountain of a man that just landed on the chair opposite of him.

”Hello, beautiful,” the drunkard mumbles and Sasuke turns to scowl at him, appalled by the lack of dignity and original pick-up lines of this guy. Sharingan spins into his eyes but the man doesn’t seem have noticed it at all. His common sense has left him by now, it seems.

If the scary eyes don’t work, then the only other option Sasuke is left with is violence, but he really doesn't want to be thrown out of the tavern. Even though he loathes the place, the room he has is almost decent-ish and he would rather spend the remaining few days inside than outside in the cold. And considering that it’s almost New Year’s Eve, Sasuke won’t be able to find a room anywhere else as every hotel in the vicinity is full.

When Sasuke has decided that the large man is too drunk for any sudden movements he wouldn't be able to notice in time, he scans the crowd for the familiar head of silver, but the Kakashi is nowhere to be seen. Sasuke is half-way convinced that he imagined him – and then he feels a large hand land on his knee under the table.

”Get your hands off me!” Sasuke hisses, hints of Otogakure’s accent seeping into his voice, sharpening his words, and he jerks his leg away from the man’s reach. A drop of sweat is travelling down the drunkard's brow and Sasuke seriously weighs the pros and cons of sleeping outside in this weather.

”Are you here all by yourself?” the man slurs, his words slow and unclear, as the blasted hand finds its way back to Sasuke's thigh.

Just as Sasuke feels the electric sparkles coming to life in his left hand, someone sits down next to him and drapes an arm around his shoulders.

”He is with me, so I suggest you leave him alone. _Now_ ,” Kakashi says, his face blank and words calm as he stares into the drunk man’s eyes.

There’s steel in his deep voice and the red, scarred eye spinning wildly makes him terrifying. Sasuke is reminded of the fact that his former teacher is one of Konoha's most dangerous shinobis, if not the deadliest one with a massive headcount under his belt, and not just the tardy, porn-reading jounin with a bad case of slouched back Sasuke remembers from his genin days.

Kakashi's arm is heavy and solid on his shoulders as the large, drunk man flees from the table with respectable speed for someone his size and level of soberness, spewing apologies at Sasuke and Kakashi both. They watch him disappear into the noisy crowd, a few of the customers turning to stare after the man with questioning looks.

There is an uneasy silence that Sasuke gets soon enough of. He tries to stand up before any justified rants start but his plan to escape is cut short when Kakashi unceremoniously pulls him back down on the chair.

Sasuke blows wayward locks of hair from his face, crosses his arms over his chest and stares adamantly at nothing, pointedly not even glancing at Kakashi.

”What do you want?” he asks, annoyed, when it’s clear that Kakashi expects him to start this conversation.

”A ‘thank you’ would be nice.”

” _Thanks_. Can I go now?” Sasuke growls through gritted teeth, and without waiting for the answer tries to stand up again, only to be pulled back down. Again. He slumps against the backrest and moves his glare to Kakashi's half-hidden face.

Kakashi glances back at him, a hint of amusement at Sasuke’s short temper lingering in his eyes.

”Why are you here?” Kakashi asks in a low voice and turns his gaze back at the crowd, making a show of glaring daggers at everyone who even thinks of looking at their way. Sasuke examines his profile and wonders for the millionth time what the man looks like under the ever-present mask until he remembers to be annoyed at Kakashi again.

”I could be asking you the same question,” Sasuke snaps back with an arrogant tone. When Kakashi tightens his hold on his shoulders and Sasuke can see how the no-nonsense expression he remembers from years ago starts to form under the dark mask, he gives up. ”I’m on a mission,” is as much as Kakashi will get out from him.

“For Orochimaru?”

“Yes,” Sasuke answers and rolls his eyes. _What kind of question is that?_

Kakashi blinks, glances quickly back at him with a noncommittal look on his face, and then returns to keeping an eye on the people in the tavern.

“Why the ANBU gear?” Sasuke quips, trying to counter a question with his own.

“On a mission,” Kakashi answers, repeating Sasuke’s own vague words just to be annoying. The answer doesn’t unfortunately explain the white uniform he is wearing.

Kakashi doesn’t seem to have changed a bit from the days when Sasuke was still a genin of Konohagakure. For a wayward second Sasuke wonders if it is the ever-present mask covering half of the man’s face that makes Kakashi seem like he is still his twenty-six-year-old self or if he just doesn't age. The only thing that is different from Sasuke’s memories of him is the white outfit that Sasuke has in no way associated with Kakashi up until he saw him in the Land of Snow. It feels so strange to see his former teacher in the black ops squad’s uniform – the white armour makes him look sleek and dangerous and deadly. It's not the Kakashi Sasuke remembers from six years ago.

A thought hits Sasuke.

”Could you do me favour?”

The words leave his mouth before his mind has decided whether he actually wants to ask this of Kakashi. He bits his cheek as Kakashi breaks his scanning of the crowd to take a sceptical look at him.

”It depends.”

Sasuke huffs and decides that if Kakashi has deemed it necessary to drape an arm around him to keep Sasuke from running off, it won't stop Sasuke from making himself comfortable. He leans against Kakashi just to mess with him.

”These people here keep trying to get in my pants. Do something about it.”

That makes Kakashi stop whatever he is doing to give Sasuke a _look_. After a pointed silence he drawls lazily: ”Why should I bother? Can't you kill them yourself?”

”The manager will kick me out if fry their clients. I need my room.”

Kakashi sighs and closes his eyes, and Sasuke knows he has won. If Kakashi, with his red glowing eye and a deadly sword strapped to his back, pretends to be his scary lover for this group of misfits, maybe they will finally leave Sasuke alone.

Sasuke lets a sly smirk grace his lips, but the expression is soon wiped off his face. Kakashi wastes no time to get this over with.

Kakashi is quick to move his arm from Sasuke’s shoulders to wrap it around his waist and grab Sasuke’s chin with his other hand, turning Sasuke’s face towards his own. Kakashi’s face is closer than Sasuke thought it would be, and he has to stop the automatic reaction of pulling back. He doesn’t like people sticking themselves into his personal space.

“What are you doing?” Sasuke hisses.

“Just what you asked, you brat,” Kakashi answers. His words are harsh, but his expression and the tone of his voice downright flirty as he puts on a show for the drunk people of the tavern. ”Is there a window in your room?” Kakashi asks and pretends to run his fingers up Sasuke’s cheekbone, keeping his fingertips just from touching his skin.

”Yes,” Sasuke answers as Kakashi brushes a lock of his dark hair behind Sasuke’s ear. That feels so weird that in any other situation Sasuke would probably laugh at the gesture. Now there’s only the horrible feeling of an unwanted blush creeping on his face – he never said Kakashi wasn’t handsome, and now that he is suddenly reminded of the fact, a rare moment of uncertainty and not knowing what to do hits him.

When Kakashi leans in even closer, Sasuke’s alarm about their proximity must have shown on his face because Kakashi gives him an all-suffering look and whispers under his breath: “For crying out loud, I’m not really going to kiss you.”

Sasuke tries to come up with a clever comeback, but ends up staring a little bit off from Kakashi’s left shoulder, avoiding looking at the other’s face. Kakashi sighs, the gesture so light that Sasuke would have missed it if they hadn’t been sitting so close to each other.

”Is our audience buying this?”

At that Sasuke turns his gaze slightly to scan the crowd. Most of the customers of the tavern have turned to witness the show, and there are disappointed, even jealous expressions on many faces. When Kakashi shifts slightly, his katana gleams with the lights of the tavern, and many of the drunkards still glancing wistfully at Sasuke turn away, hiding their faces behind their pints.

Sasuke makes a noncommittal sound deep in his throat and Kakashi is willing to take that as a yes. He straightens up, makes a show of stretching his lean muscles, takes a dumbfounded Sasuke’s hand into his own and pulls him up from his seat.

”I think it's time to take this upstairs,” Kakashi exclaims louder than necessary and somehow manages to make the words sway in his mouth. His movements are purposely big as he starts to guide Sasuke away from the filthy table.

Sasuke wants to swat him for overdoing it, but he sticks with just rolling his eyes while Kakashi tugs him forwards with a deadly glare set on his face for their audience. With his fingers clasped tightly around Sasuke’s own, Kakashi leads him towards the stairs at the back of the dim tavern.

They find Sasuke's cramped room at the end of the hallway, and the second the door closes behind them, Kakashi releases his hold of Sasuke, stepping back to a respectable distance.

”Was that a good enough show for you?” he asks, only half-interested in Sasuke’s answer and walks through the room to the window. Sasuke nods at him. After their performance downstairs, he hopes he will be left alone for a few days at least – the guests downstairs are too terrified of the tall man with one red eye to get too close to Sasuke.

Kakashi rams the frozen window open and the sudden frosty wind blows his hair and makes it sway. Then he turns back to Sasuke, a hint of an expression that Sasuke can't quite place flashing on his face as he slowly blinks at Sasuke with his heavy-lid eyes.

”I suppose it would be of no use to try to talk you into coming back home.”

Sasuke answers with a hum, tilting his head slightly to side, and waits to see if Kakashi can take the hint.

”I’m just going skip that part then,” Kakashi exclaims in that fake cheery tone he is so very good at and brushes his disappointment away under a mask, both figurative and literal.

He is half-way out of the window when Sasuke stops him.

”Your mission, it's in this city – Konoha wants the mayor dead, right?” Sasuke asks and can't really explain to himself why he is doing this.

”Yeah?” Kakashi admits, his brows raising in his confusion at how Sasuke can have such information.

Sasuke takes a few steps towards his bed, crouches down to grab his bag from under it, and after a few seconds of rummaging through the bag he finds one particular scroll with a triumphant grunt.

”Here,” he says and tosses the scroll at Kakashi. ”The blueprints for the mayor's building, the patrol schedules and all that.”

Kakashi looks first at the scroll in his hand and then at Sasuke with a lifted brow.

”And you're just giving it to me? Why?”

”Consider it a repayment for the last time,” Sasuke says and thinks back to the fortress in the Snow Country. ”I don't like being in debt to you.”

Kakashi smirks at him in his own lazy way, the expression quite clear despite the mask covering the lower half of his face.

”And when will you repay today's favour?”

Sasuke, because of a reason that he tries to deny, wants to answer “Maybe next time”, but instead he forces himself to just shake his head at his old teacher and tell him to get out.

He closes the window after Kakashi and loses himself in watching the figure clad in white and black disappear between the buildings of the city in the snowy night.

 

o0o

 

Sasuke isn’t stupid, he knows that it will be soon been three years since he managed to avoid Orochimaru’s last attempt to steal his body. Now the snake Sannin is surely readying himself for a new transfer and it’s only a matter of time before he comes after Sasuke’s body again. But Sasuke won’t just sit and wait for it to happen.

After six years of learning from Orochimaru Sasuke thinks he has learned everything his master has to offer – or at least everything Orochimaru is willing to give. With the risk of losing the ownership of his body hanging over him and Sasuke’s older brother still running around the country, creating havoc in his wake, there is no way Sasuke is staying at the Sound.

He kills Orochimaru to go after his brother only a few days after New Year’s Eve, severely disappointed in how easy it is to beat the infamous Sannin. Sasuke leaves the hideout alone, not wanting to drag anybody else into something that is only between him and his brother. Confident in his abilities as a prodigy of a Sannin, he begins his hunt for his brother with his new sword Kusanagi at his side.

Sasuke finds Itachi soon after that and it’s almost like his brother has been expecting him. That fight is something the younger Uchiha has been living for since he was only weeks short of turning eight and came home to the slaughtered bodies of his parents.

Considering how many times he has lived this battle in his head beforehand, Sasuke can’t really recall anything of facing his brother afterwards. There is only the heavy presence of his brother’s Susanoo, and Sasuke’s Kirin flashing down from the sky, and the excruciating pain of Itachi removing his cursed seal.

The sweetest thing of all is the liberating sense of victory Sasuke feels when his brother falls to the ground, never to get back up again.

Sasuke soon follows Itachi to the merciful darkness, for once in his life willing to give up easily, and lets the unconsciousness take him.

He doesn’t expect to wake in a nondescript underground base lit up by a single candle to a masked, slightly crazy man greeting him. Sasuke doesn’t want to listen to him, he doesn’t want to waste his time with this man when he is finally free of his revenge. His life is finally his own after a decade of dedicating it to his dead clan, and Sasuke has yet to decide if he wants to do something with his newfound freedom or join his family in death by his own hand, too tired to live without a goal.

The masked man takes that choice from him by telling Sasuke something he calls the truth about Sasuke’s brother. Of Sasuke’s Itachi, of the Itachi Sasuke just killed.

Sasuke doesn't want to believe the man, he can’t believe him, he refuses to – because that would mean that Sasuke has killed his only brother who had been protecting him all along, who had loved Sasuke till his dying breath. _And how Sasuke repaid him?_ Then comes the roaring agony and pain, and so immense a wave of guilt Sasuke feels like he will drown right there and then.

The masked man – Madara, he calls himself – gives him a direction, stops Sasuke from killing himself by giving him a diversion. “It was all Konoha's doing, their fault,” Madara keeps repeating until Sasuke understands it too, and suddenly the hatred the Uchiha has been harbouring against his brother for years, maturing like fine wine, shifts towards his home village.

He will burn Konoha to the ground.

Just as the thought buries itself deep in Sasuke’s heart, black flames erupt from his eyes. Sasuke doesn’t understand what is going as the flames engulf the masked man. The amaterasu Itachi planted into his eyes comes too late to stop Sasuke from hearing the ugly truth, but the jutsu grants one of the elder Uchiha brother’s wishes – Uchiha Obito, under the stolen name of Madara, dies in the black flames and so does the magnificent plan of the real Madara coming back to life and using the moon to cast the whole world under the Infinite Tsukuyomi.

Sasuke, in shock and grieving, doesn’t know any of this and wouldn’t care even if he knew.

His brother has been unjustly killed by Sasuke’s hand and the village of Konohagakure will pay for Itachi’s sacrifice.

With that thought the mangenkyoo sharingan bleeds into Sasuke’s eyes for the first time and his whole world turns to red and black.


	2. Snow Blindness

 

_January, the fourth year of peace  
_ _The Land of Snow_

Sasuke can't sleep.

There is nothing but his brother on his mind, like a bloody, bitter taste lingering in his mouth. Sasuke keeps seeing him everywhere – there is Itachi, just eleven and already eternally patient with his little brother as he tries to teach Sasuke how to throw kunais – Itachi, a few days over thirteen, dressed in the standard ANBU gear, looking like an orphan child in stolen clothes, telling Sasuke to go back to bed, a smile on his face – Itachi, twenty-four and still too young, bruised and beaten, drowning in a pool of his own blood.

Guilt and hatred flow over Sasuke in waves.

There hasn’t been a night since he heard the truth that he hasn’t stayed awake, and every one of those counting hours without sleep drives him towards madness. His thoughts become a whirlwind of apologies to his brother and curses at the village that took his family from him. There is no other path for Sasuke to take except that towards Konoha, but he is straying from his warpath because of his growing delirium. Insomnia tears his mind violently apart – half the time he is so out of his mind he doesn't know what country he is in or where he is headed to.

Most of the time the only colour Sasuke sees is red. The sharingan bleeds into his eyes with his rage, and the world he observes through his eyes is odd, distorted by chakra patterns like blood veins. For the first days, he keeps stumbling over his feet – the sharingan shows what _will_ happen instead of what happens in the present time, and even though he is used to the time lapse in battle, the feverish rampage around the backwaters of the shinobi countries throws him off.

When he finally manages to turn his eye technique off – this feat is partly aided by his rapidly growing lack of chakra – all Sasuke can see is vast whiteness. _Snow_. Cold snow under his feet, soaking through his light shoes. Snowflakes flying in the air, dancing in the cool breeze ruffling his hair. A thick layer of snow covering everything in the foreign forest Sasuke has found himself in.

He has wandered back to the Snow country.

Sasuke stands there for a second, blinking at his surroundings. A moment of clarity lets him become horrified at the lack of control over himself. Torn between hysterically laughing and crying at his situation, Sasuke tries to avoid the obvious truth staring him in the face – that he is going insane – by trying to get his bearings. He has no idea where he is or even what day it is.

There are quiet sounds of approaching footsteps, and a figure covered in a thick cloak emerges from the snow-covered forest.

Sasuke recognizes the light hair before anything else.

”Kakashi,” Sasuke greets his former teacher, not bothered to be that surprised that their paths have crossed yet again.

One red eye blinks behind the white mask covered in delicate red lines.

Kakashi removes his wolf mask, the movement of the gloved fingers slow, and looks at Sasuke with sad eyes. Snowflakes disappear into his light hair.

”Sasuke.”

Kakashi’s eyelashes are the same colour as his hair, Sasuke notes absurdly and his brain circles back to thinking of the snow that tries to get under his clothes. He is cold.

Sasuke’s former teacher has his sword drawn out and his grip on the weapon is tense. Funny, Sasuke didn't know he had a sword, let alone that he could use one. He didn’t have one when he taught Team 7.

Then Sasuke’s foggy mind catches up. Kakashi had a sword last time Sasuke saw him – he uses a sword on his ANBU missions, a katana just like the one Sasuke has strapped to his waist.

But it _is_ the first time Kakashi has pointed the sword at Sasuke.

”I'm not going to attack you if you don't attack me,” Kakashi states with his deep voice. He keeps his centre of weight low and legs apart, ready to move – he is not trusting this feral-looking Sasuke with bloodshot eyes as far as he can throw him. There is a conflict between his words and the way he is readying himself for a battle. Sasuke is reminded of the way his brother used to talk to frightened animals, eyes cast down, hands clearly in sight, but his weight on the balls of his feet, ready to plunge to save Sasuke from any scared squirrel they had come across at the time.

Sasuke hasn't seen himself in days – he half-heartedly wonders when he last ate anything – and has no idea how bad he looks, but judging by Kakashi’s almost scared reaction he figures he could pass as a wild beast.

”I don’t think your sword hand is agreeing with you,” Sasuke taunts, falling back to his usual cockiness. His voice is rough from not using it for days and his eyes keep flashing from red to black and back again.

Kakashi grips his sword tighter.

”You killed Itachi, ” he pleads, taking half a step forward, his eyes glued to Sasuke’s. ”Come home.”

Blood boils in Sasuke's veins at the mention of his brother. How dares this man even say Itachi’s name when he carries the uniform of Konoha, the village that destroyed the life of Sasuke's brother?

”If I come back to that damned village, it’s only to burn it to the ground!” Sasuke growls and his sharingan swirls back into life in his eyes. The man in front of him is not his teacher any longer, he is only a wretched shinobi of the Leaf and shall die as such.

Blue light chirps in his left hand as Sasuke attacks without warning with Kakashi’s own jutsu. The eerie sound of the chidori pierces the vast silence of the forest and for a second Sasuke can spot a look of genuine surprise in Kakashi’s eyes. However, Sasuke’s mindless rage overcomes any strategic thinking and Kakashi dodges his attack easily, simply stepping aside from the path of Sasuke’s jutsu, and lands a hit of his own when Sasuke leaves his back wide open.

”It's Konoha's fault that Itachi is dead! It's Konoha's fault that my whole clan is dead!” Sasuke screams as he gets up from the ground and raises his sword for another attack.

This time Kakashi blocks him with his own katana. Then he catches Sasuke's free hand with his left and tries to kick him in the abdomen, but Sasuke swirls himself around and yanks his wrist from Kakashi’s grip. He reaches for Kakashi’s neck, pointing the sword dangerously close to his chest. His teacher dodges him once again and tries to literally sweep Sasuke off his feet with his leg.

”Konoha made Itachi kill them!” Sasuke shouts and catches a confused expression on Kakashi' face as they spin around each other. ”But he couldn't kill me!”

They fight in the deep snow, and the two of them are only flashes of black and white as they plunge at each other time and time again. The only sounds in the desolate forest are the metallic clangs of their swords clashing together and the thousands of birds singing as the two chidoris charge at each other.

Sasuke is smaller and lighter and so quicker, but Kakashi is physically stronger and has at least twice as much experience as Sasuke has, no matter how much Sasuke has been training these last years. They are nearly evenly matched – the teacher and his estranged student – but frustratingly enough, there’s still a gap in their skills to Sasuke’s disadvantage and it drives him insane. It’s almost as if the Kakashi is only toying with Sasuke – he seems to already know what is coming as he dances in the snow around Sasuke’s every attack. He is level-headed, always has been, whereas Sasuke, driven by revenge and hurt, throws punches as much as he can, not even caring that much if they miss their target.

Sasuke jumps in the air and aims for Kakashi's head with his kick, only to be blocked by a strong hand. In response, he swivels himself around, upside down and grabs a kunai from Kakashi's belt. As the gravity takes hold of him, Sasuke lands on his hands and then throws himself from there back to his feet.

Sasuke spots an opening – for a second Kakashi leaves his chest open when he goes for Sasuke again. Sasuke smirks, his ragged breath an icy mist in the cold air, and plunges his electrified sword straight through Kakashi’s chest.

He relishes the surprised look in Kakashi's widened eyes as the man first looks down at the sword penetrating his chest, and then brings his gaze back up to stare at Sasuke. Weakly he raises his hands to the sword, his grip on the weapon futile at this point.

Kakashi collapses down onto his knees, his gaze still locked on Sasuke, who in turn is pulled down by his sword which is still inside his teacher's heaving chest.

Sasuke never thought it would be this easy to take down the infamous copy-nin of Konoha. He grins at the dying man – now he has overcome both of his teachers.

Sasuke can see Kakashi open his mouth behind the mask. He is still clutching the sword as he manages a husky whisper.

”Sasuke...”

Then he falls onto his side in the white snow. Blood drips from the wound as his eyes stare at nothing.

He is dead.

Kakashi is dead.

The crisp air hurts in Sasuke’s lungs and shivers take over his body as the adrenaline wears off. His head aches. He looks at his teacher’s lifeless body and suddenly it’s not Kakashi but his brother who Sasuke sees lying on the ground with empty eyes, his red blood marring the snow around him.

Sasuke doesn't want his brother to be dead.

Now, as he watches his teacher’s white hair fanning on the sullied snow, he realises that he doesn't want Kakashi to be dead either.

Just as Sasuke takes a step forward toward his teacher's body, it disappears with a _poof_. A clone. Sasuke hasn't even the time to swear before he is tackled to the ground from behind. He lands on his back and Kakashi sits forcefully on him, pinning Sasuke’s hands down. Furious at being played, Sasuke tries his best to break free. He tugs with his hands and kicks with his legs, all the while cursing the man on top of him with all he has, but Kakashi doesn’t budge an inch.

”Look at me,” Kakashi commands in the no-nonsense tone that Sasuke remembers from his genin days.

Sasuke turns his head to the side out of sheer stubbornness.

” _Look at me_ ,” Kakashi says again, his voice so deep it resonates in Sasuke’s chest. Ultimately, Sasuke knows that he has no other option than to eventually comply.

He is met by a pair of concerned eyes and a heavy sigh.

”I don't want to kill you,” Kakashi says solemnly, now quiet that he has Sasuke’s undivided attention. He is a warm, heavy weight on him as he studies Sasuke with a tired expression, a tiny gash bleeding over his right brow. There are wayward snowflakes in his hair, and for one bizarre moment Sasuke wants to raise his hand and wipe them off.

”Did you know?” Sasuke whispers as all his strength leaves him. His mind is slowly coming back from the foggy state it has been in for so long. He is tired, out of chakra and the cold is seeping through his clothes, the melting snow underneath him drenching his light clothes. It’s a wonder he hasn’t died of cold during these last few weeks.

”No.”

Sasuke closes his eyes and breathes through his nose. He feels a weight shifting above him as Kakashi hesitantly lets go of his wrists and leans back from hovering over Sasuke's face.

”But I want you to tell me everything.”

There’s something determined in the way Kakashi says it and Sasuke blinks his eyes open to look at him, surprised that the Kakashi would even want to hear his accusations against his dear village.

This is the man Sasuke once trusted. Over half a decade ago Sasuke was _comfortable_ with Kakashi. Enough so that he used to barge into the man's apartment without knocking to drag Kakashi to train – he doubts that Naruto and Sakura even knew where Kakashi lived at the time. Sasuke made time to have lunch with Kakashi before their sessions every now and then. Kakashi used to be the one person in his life that he was slowly starting to depend on, someone that had felt _safe_ and it hurts that it took one chidori used as self-defence against Naruto’s rasengan to drive them apart.

“ _Chidori isn't a technique to be used against friends_ ,” Kakashi had said to Sasuke and the boy had wanted to scream at him that it wasn't _fair_ because Naruto launched a rasengan at him first. How come Sasuke is the only one to be blamed?

When Kakashi found him that day after Sasuke escaped from the hospital, and tied him down to a tree, Sasuke had been trying his best to find a reason to stay in Konoha. He had been entertaining the silly idea that Kakashi would talk to him and _listen_ and help Sasuke when the boy's world was crumbling down around him. His older brother – _his traitorous bastard of a brother,_ he had though at the time and how wrong he had been – had made an appearance and sent Sasuke's teacher to hospital and what chances would Sasuke ever have against Itachi if Kakashi didn't and Sasuke would never be strong enough –

And instead of giving answers Kakashi had told Sasuke to give up the one thing he had been living for since he walked home to find his parents' bodies lying in their own blood.

" _What if I were to kill the ones you love the most?_ " had been a desperate, rushed, _idiotic_ attempt to make Kakashi admit that Sasuke mattered to him because at the time Sasuke had been feeling that Kakashi didn’t care anymore. Kakashi’s answer had left him shocked, hurt and with a hollow feeling that despite what Sasuke had thought, he didn't know anything about this man.

Sasuke still doesn't know what he wanted Kakashi to answer – _You would have to kill yourself_ –  but that isn't what he got.

And then Kakashi left him. When Sasuke was vulnerable and on the edge of deciding whether to leave or stay – a choice that would affect the rest of his life. Kakashi wanted him to stay and give up on revenge but Sasuke couldn't do both.

And _now_ Kakashi says that he wants to listen.

 

o0o

 

They find a cave nearby to stay the night in. Kakashi sets a fire as Sasuke wanders idly around the place, half-pretending to check out the small cave. He feels awkward – Kakashi makes him feel like a scolded child just by behaving so rationally in this odd situation of theirs. Sasuke just tried to kill him and there he is still, making sure Sasuke won't die because of the cold or starve to death.

”Your clothes are wet, you have to take them off before you get hypothermia,” Kakashi claims over his shoulder, tending the fire and readying ingredients for what Sasuke supposes is soup of some kind – he didn’t paid that much attention when Kakashi ransacked through his travel gear.

Sasuke flaps the long sleeves of his yukata at Kakashi, annoyed at being bossed around. He has no spare clothes and the ones he has on he got wet during their battle in the snow. Now they are more frozen than anything.

Sasuke starts to remove the clothes and gets a sweater in his face.

”What the fuck – ?” he splutters, catching the large jumper just in time before it hits the floor, and glares at Kakashi who doesn’t even glance his way.

”You don't have anything else, do you? Put that on.”

The sweater is soft and black and smells faintly of the man sitting in front of him. Sasuke grips it for a second, his knuckles turning white, then decides that this is not the time for unnecessary bullheadedness, and pulls the offending piece of clothing on.

When he is wearing nothing else but the warm sweater that falls halfway to his knees, he seriously considers throwing his wet clothes at Kakashi just for the sake of getting a reaction out of him. Kakashi gives him a knowing look then, and Sasuke, scoffing, makes a show of laying the clothes on some rocks to let them dry them overnight.

The delicious smell of the soup makes him look up, his starving stomach loudly demanding attention, and Sasuke, in his more and more growing state of clarity, wonders for the hundredth time when he last ate.

Sasuke sits down on the bedroll Kakashi has laid out near the fire and looks at the man next to him. Kakashi, already occupied with a familiar book, hands him a bowl and tells him to start slowly so as not to upset his stomach. Sasuke mumbles under his breath, because he knew that and Kakashi isn’t his mother, for pity’s sake, but takes the bowl anyway.

When Sasuke has finished, Kakashi puts his book away and turns to face his former student.

”So, tell me.”

First, it's hard for Sasuke to find the right words, but when he finally gets started, the story of his brother falls out of him easily. He tells Kakashi everything he knows of the Uchihas and Konoha and the feud between them. Sasuke feels like dying every time Itachi's name escapes his lips when he describes the battle between the two brothers. And when Sasuke is finished with the truth about Itachi, he finds himself telling of his horrible years with Orochimaru.

By the time there are no words left in him, Sasuke feels tears running down his face. His face burns when he realises that of course Kakashi has seen them too. He turns away to wipe off the tears and Kakashi generously pretends to be intently studying the back of his book.

”So, what are you going to do now?” Kakashi asks him when the silence between them starts to feel too heavy, tilting his head to the side with the stupid book still clutched in his hands.

”I'll get my revenge on Konoha,” Sasuke answers right away, adamantly raising his head to meet Kakashi’s scandalized gaze head-on.

”By destroying the whole village on your own?” his teacher asks and raises an eyebrow at him.

Kakashi’s words cut like steel and despite the obvious dark humour Sasuke feels like he is walking on thin ice, declaring a one-man war against Kakashi’s village.

”But don't you see,” Kakashi starts, leaning forward towards Sasuke, ”if you attack a village full of innocent people, you are just as bad as Danzou and the Elders. They are the ones you want to kill. Nobody else in Konoha knew about Itachi's orders. I didn't, and that should say something. And if what you said about Itachi is true, then slaughtering the people of Konoha is not something he would have wanted. He chose to protect the village over his clan – ”

” _Don't you dare talk about my brother!”_ Sasuke hisses, his heartbeat pounding in his ears, even though there is a tiny part of him that thinks Kakashi might be right. He realises that he has activated his sharingan by accident – his vision is tinted red again – and Sasuke has to blink a few times to turn his eyes back to their normal black.

Kakashi doesn't seem to mind the sharingan now, as he is just nonchalantly eyeing Sasuke, nothing in him betraying any concern over Sasuke’s outburst. He is looking at Sasuke like he knows exactly what is going on in his head and that pisses Sasuke royally off.

"I'm not you!" Sasuke shouts at Kakashi, catching him by a surprise. "So don't expect me to be you!"

Kakashi clearly recoils, a confused look passing over his masked face.

“What – ?”

"I don't have your deep love for Konoha, I'm not willing to sacrifice everything for it. I _will not_ choose it over my brother like you chose it over me! There are millions of things worth more than the good of one village, especially Konoha’s."

"I chose the village over you? How?" Kakashi asks, eyes wide as he tries to understand, brushing off everything else Sasuke said.

"You let me walk away from the village. Think about what you said to me that night I left. You basically gave me two options, either to give up my revenge and stay, or cling onto avenging my clan and leave. How could you make me choose? You were my teacher and you made me choose between my old family and my new one!" Sasuke spats, his voice raising with every word.

The air around him buzzes with electricity as rebellious chakra sparks leak from him.

"You chose the village over me instead of helping me. The village that had done nothing for me and antagonized and discriminated my clan for years. And you wanted me to choose it too, over the one thing I had been living for," Sasuke blurts out, letting it all come out, too tired to care about staying stoic or aloof. With a cringe, he notes that his words are getting more and more desperate. "And after all this you left. You left me when I was at my most vulnerable, when _I needed you,_ and look where it led me – "

Kakashi doesn’t jump into a shouting match or start to rage at Sasuke for accusing of him – instead, he sits there, frozen in place, brows furrowing and his eyes growing colder.

"Are you blaming me for the fact that you left for Orochimaru? For ruining your life? That was your choice, and yours alone – " Kakashi begins, his voice only barely louder than a whisper as he straightens his back and looks Sasuke straight in the eye, his usually coal-grey left eye now almost black.

"You made me choose! You put me in a situation where the only way out was to pick one of two bad options.”

Kakashi eyes him with his brows furrowed, jaw clenching just so slightly that had Sasuke not been staring straight at him, he would have missed it. 

”You know I'm right about Itachi wanting to protect the village,” Kakashi states after a moment of silence, certain finality in his voice as he turns away from facing his lost student.

” _Shut up!_ ” Sasuke hisses and his voice breaks awkwardly, making him cringe. He folds his legs against his chest and drapes his arms over them, burying his face in his knees. In a weak voice that he hates he admits: ”I don't want to talk about this.

”Alright,” Kakashi answers stiffly, the word short and sharp. The sound of wind howling echoes in the cave, pronouncing the angry silence between them.

Kakashi stands up, purposely does not glance back at Sasuke, and walks to sit on a rock on the other side of the fire. He has his back turned to Sasuke when he next speaks, his words clipped and tense.

”Try to get some sleep.”

Sasuke, tired and cold and miserable, obeys for once in his life and climbs into the bedroll. He has to shift around for a while before he finds a comfortable position. The bedroll and the shirt smell like home and the sight of Kakashi tending the fire makes Sasuke feel oddly warm, no matter how angry he is at the man just now – or Kakashi at him.

Sasuke closes his eyes and tries to sleep.


	3. Discharge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a sex scene - it's not explicit, but I have changed the rating from T to M, just to be sure. And yes, I did tag this fic as sort of slow burn - the slow burn part starts after this chapter.

 

_January, the fourth year of peace  
_ _The Land of Snow_

The harsh, metallic sound of someone unsheathing a sword wakes him up.

Sasuke is awake in that instant, his years as a ninja kicking in immediately. He wastes one second to ponder where the hell he is before his mind catches up with the situation. The Snow Country, Kakashi, the cave.

Sasuke forces his breathing to calm down and his body to relax, faking sleep, as he tries to locate where the sound came from just by listening. It’s dead quiet in the cave – there’s no crackling of the fire nor the howling of the wind to be heard from outside.

When Sasuke finally opens his eyes, just peering through his lashes, everything is dark. Has Kakashi put out the fire? Why? He pushes himself into a sitting position and eyes the cave – the only light is the dim glow of the moon coming from outside and Sasuke can make out just the dark shapes of the stone walls and the place where the fire was burning only a few hours ago.

But even in that poor light Sasuke can see that the cave is empty.

He doesn’t even bother to be disappointed about the fact that Kakashi didn’t have the spine to deal with his mistakes and fled when Sasuke had his back turned. But purposely putting out the fire – that sure feels like he was hoping Sasuke would die of the cold in his sleep, doesn’t it?

But where did that sound that woke him up come from?

Tired of squinting his eyes in the dark, Sasuke activates his bloodline limit and studies the cave with his sharingan.

There is a flash of steel at the edge of his vision and Sasuke turns towards it – he almost expected something like this to happen.

One lone sharingan blinks into life in the darkness and Kakashi steps closer. He raises his sword towards Sasuke, not unlike a few hours ago in the woods, but this time his face is devoid of any expression as he stares down at Sasuke with one eye closed and the other glowing maliciously red.

“What the fuck is going on?” Sasuke growls, sounding more scared that he would like to admit. His legs are wobbly and weak as he gets up into a crouching position, and scans the ground where he remembers leaving his weapons earlier this evening. Naturally they aren’t there anymore.

Kakashi takes another step towards him, tilts his head to the side and opens his right eye.

Now there are two sharingans glaring straight at Sasuke.

“What – ?“ he blurts out as his knees almost give out under him and his heart drums violently against his chest. Cold sweat washes over him as Sasuke watches the man that should not have two red eyes close in on him. Where has he got that one?

Sasuke is getting enough of this.

The high-pitched sound of chidori hurts his ears as it echoes around in the cave. The blue chakra sparkling from his hand lights the cave and he gets a better look at Kakashi.

But it is not Kakashi who he is looking at.

In the exact spot where his former teacher was standing only mere seconds ago is Itachi. Itachi, his dead brother, pointing Kakashi’s katana towards Sasuke. There is a wound on his forehead, bleeding right over his eyes, and his skin is sickly pale against his matted, tangled hair.

“Brother…” escapes from Sasuke’s lips before he can stop himself. He lets the chidori die out before he realises that Itachi hasn’t turned off his sharingan or lowered the sword.

“How could you do this to me, Sasuke?” Itachi asks, his voice a hoarse, raspy mockery of what it should be. “How could you? I loved you more than anything, little brother. And you killed me.”

“Itachi, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know – “

“Everything I did, I did for you,” Itachi hisses at him and then he has Sasuke pinned against the wall. The sword scrapes Sasuke’s skin on his neck and he has never felt this helpless in his life.

“Itachi, I didn’t know. If I had, I would never – “

“How could you kill me, your only brother?” Itachi growls at him. Blood drips into his eyes, but he doesn’t even blink as he leans in closer to whisper into Sasuke’s ear. “What will mother say when she hears that you killed me, Sasuke?”

“Brother, don’t – “

“I’m like this because of you, Sasuke,” Itachi breathes out, his eyes never leaving his little brother’s, and raises a hand to Sasuke’s face.

He presses one cold finger on Sasuke’s forehead, an awful imitation of the familiar gesture.

“It’s all your fault.”

 

o0o

 

Sasuke snaps his eyes open. His breath hitches in his throat and the erratic pulse of his heart pounds in his ears as the last remnants of the nightmare leave him. This is why he hasn’t been sleeping for weeks – how could he, when instead of dreaming of home or falling into the comforting void of unconsciousness, he is haunted by his dead brother whenever he closes his eyes. Even in the relative safety of the cave and his former, quite pissed-off teacher, Sasuke can’t run away from the nightmares.

He tries to calm himself down, taking deep, slow breaths to mask his panic – he doesn't want Kakashi to notice how upset he is. Sasuke shifts his head slightly towards the fire, pretending to move around in his sleep, and steals a glance at his former teacher.

Kakashi is sitting by the fire, a book in his hand, probably still angry at him. As Sasuke’s usual luck would have it, Kakashi, as if on cue, turns slightly to cast worried eyes at his way, alarmed by the sounds Sasuke is bound to have made in his sleep.

Defiantly, Sasuke throws an arm over his face and turns his back to the fire, refusing to admit his weakness to Kakashi.

After a while the familiar sound of turning pages returns and Sasuke lets himself relax, listening to Kakashi’s calm breathing in the silent cave. He closes his eyes again and tries to fall back asleep.

 

o0o

 

It’s not working.

There is nothing he can do about it – Sasuke can't close his eyes without a gruesome picture of either his dead brother or parents appearing behind his eyelids sooner or later. He is in overdrive –he is too tired to sleep. There is no way he can just relax and fall asleep with his own body sabotaging him.

Sasuke needs a distraction.

Slowly he turns around on the bedroll to look at his old teacher. For a while Sasuke simply watches Kakashi who is sitting there by the fire, lost in his book, one hand playing with his hair, weaving a lock around his fingers. Kakashi is light hair and long legs, swift, strong hands and lean lines in a familiar slouch. He is deep laughter and sarcastic comments – a deadly assassin hidden behind the cover of a tardy, lazy jounin forced into babysitting children.

As Sasuke studies Kakashi, the fire casts dancing shadows on the jounin’s face and gives Sasuke a clue of how the features under the dark mask might look like. It’s not a bad picture.

During the years under Orochimaru Sasuke grew from a thirteen-year-old boy to a young man of the age of nineteen. As time passed and he matured both mentally and physically, even Sasuke –  despite his lack of interest in people altogether – had suddenly found himself _looking_ at them. And so, between the nightmares of his family and brother and the pleasant, longing dreams of Konoha and his makeshift family of Team 7, there had been nights full of need and dreams of skin on skin. Sometimes it had been Naruto's tanned and whiskered face hovering over him, sometimes it was someone from his teams from the Sound, and sometimes the dreams hadn’t borrowed anyone’s face.

Sasuke glances at Kakashi through his lashes, his eyes just barely open, to hide his apparent staring, and remembers the dreams where it had been this man's voice that made his bones ache at night.

After that it's alarmingly easy to see Kakashi as a _man_ instead of the teacher he has always been.

And then there is no going back.

Sasuke bites his lip. This is going to be awkward no matter how he goes for it. In hindsight, this whole thing would probably have been ridiculously easier if Sasuke hadn’t pissed off the very man only hours before.

Sasuke raises himself to lean on his elbow and spends a good while trying to find a comfortable position. In the cast-off sweater too big him, especially now that he is just skin and bones after a good two weeks of not eating, with his hair messy and eyes bloodshot, it feels ridiculous to even think of pretending to be anything he is not and so he just calls Kakashi by his name.

Something in his voice must have been off because Kakashi turns his mismatched eyes at him, leaves his book at the rock where he was sitting and walks over to him without further prompting.

Sasuke opens his mouth only to realise he has no idea what to say. He has never done anything like this before and it scares him, not being in control of the situation. But his guilt haunts him and if this is something he has to do to just _forget_ everything for a few hours, then he will.

Kakashi folds his long legs under himself and sits down next to Sasuke.

”Could you do me favour?” Sasuke blurts out and then wishes he hadn't said those exact words because they make him think of another favour in that tavern a few weeks back, and it’s not exactly helping in this situation.

Something shifts in Kakashi's eyes.

”It depends,” he says, repeating his own answer back at Sasuke, all of his earlier anger gone. “Is it anything like the first one?”

A weight falls of Sasuke's shoulders because Kakashi _knows_ what Sasuke wants and saves him from saying it out loud. Sasuke can only nod, wondering if Kakashi has been in this situation himself during the long years he has been a shinobi.

“I just need not to think for a while.”

Sasuke straightens himself and fidgets with his fingers for an embarrassing second before he raises a hand to the man's mask. Kakashi doesn't stop him – he just keeps his eyes on Sasuke, silent, and Sasuke feels unsure, because he never thought they would end up here.

He curls his finger under the mask and gently pulls it down. The face under it is somehow both achingly familiar and completely foreign. A straight nose, a pair of thin lips and a faint whisper of a tan line dividing the face in half. And then there is the familiar dark scar over the left eye that runs all the way down Kakashi’s cheek past his mouth.

The white stubble feels rough under Sasuke's fingers as he studies Kakashi's face with his fingertips.

Sasuke leans in closer, slowly, taking his time. He appreciates it more than he can ever say that Kakashi lets him move in his own pace, letting him decide what is enough. Sasuke presses their lips together almost experimentally, placing his hands on the older man’s shoulders for support. Kakashi tastes like salt, and when he kisses Sasuke, he goes for it like someone who knows what he is doing, carefully taking the lead from Sasuke.

All too soon Kakashi ends the kiss and pulls slowly back from him, his eyes both honest and unreadable at the same time.

“I need you to know that we can stop this anytime you want. You just have to say so. I don’t want you to feel like I’m taking ad – ” he tries to say, serious, but Sasuke is already moving in for another kiss, now more certain that this is what he needs – and with every second he is surer that this is what he _wants_.

Kakashi doesn’t seem to mind the sudden change in their relationship either, as he pulls Sasuke closer so that Sasuke ends up nearly sprawled on his lap. Sasuke crams his knee awkwardly against the ground to keep himself in balance as he moves into a better position, and soon his fingers wander into tangling themselves into the surprisingly long and silky hair.

When the kisses get deeper and deeper and a fire is set alight in the pit of his stomach accompanied with an almost uncomfortable warmth between his legs, the whole thing turns into a battle of a kind. Sasuke fights with his lips, tugs the light hair, bites into the skin tanner than his own and scrapes the back bent over him when Kakashi spins them around and Sasuke ends up on his back on the thin bedroll. Impatient, he tugs the gloves off Kakashi’s arms, his mouth traveling from Kakashi’s pale neck over his shoulder to the red swirl of a tattoo on his left arm. That position is difficult for him and he returns soon to claiming Kakashi’s mouth with his own, wrapping his legs around the man’s lean waist. 

Battling is something Sasuke understands, something he knows how to do. He knows just how strong and dangerous this man above him and he realises that’s what makes this work. Strength and skill are things he can admire, and Kakashi has proven to possess both. That had led to Sasuke accepting him as a teacher years back and now he accepts the man in this new role – he knows that Kakashi is one of the very few he would ever think of asking this.

Kakashi pulls back a little, straightening up on to his knees, and Sasuke follows him, rising up to lean on his elbows to watch as Kakashi removes his armour. The metal parts clang against the ground, and Sasuke is more than happy to run his fingers under the skin-tight underclothes, over the soft skin and the delicate white hairs on the other man’s lower stomach.

He is pressed on his back, still wearing Kakashi’s oversized sweater that now pools around his hips, because despite the fire and what they are doing it’s cold there in the cave. Kakashi bends over him, their hips touching as he presses kisses down Sasuke’s neck and his stubble tickles Sasuke’s skin.

When Kakashi spends too much time just teasing him, only a ghost of a touch of mouth playing against his jawline and agile fingers just barely there to run over his thighs, Sasuke yanks him closer by his shirt and crashes their mouths together, his hips trashing against the firm form of the man. Maybe he is too eager, too hasty because Kakashi stops what he is doing to hold him down for a second.

“Easy,” he breathes into Sasuke’s ear, voice husky and gruff, a hint of laughter in his words, “there’s no hurry,” and that doesn’t really help at all, because Sasuke’s own breath hitches under the touch of calloused fingers as they press against his inner thighs.

And despite Sasuke thinking of this as fighting at first, them coming together is not violent and there isn’t one moment when he doesn’t feel safe. It is obvious that even though Kakashi kisses him just as vigorously as Sasuke kisses him, _wants_ him as much as Sasuke wants him right then, Kakashi puts him first in this situation. It’s all about Sasuke and he doesn’t come to understand how gentle Kakashi is with him that night until only much later.

He comes with another mouth pressed against his own and strong, warm hands pressed against his cold hips under his shirt, and for that one blissful moment he sees nothing when he closes his eyes.

Afterwards, in the cosy warmth of the fire and with a strong body lying next to him, Sasuke closes his eyes and breathes. He hears his own heartbeat, still rapid and excited and only just now starting to calm down. He can feel the heart of the man curled around him pulsing against his chest, the rhythm so steady Sasuke almost forgets himself into listening to it. In the dancing firelight Kakashi's silvery hair seems pure white as it fans against the cloak they use as a pillow and Sasuke's own longer, black locks mix up with it. He snorts at himself when he finds himself getting sentimental over the contrasting black and white. The heavy arm around him squeezes him tighter at the sound, and he can picture Kakashi smiling at him, his face hidden against the fine, sweaty hair of Sasuke’s neck.

Kakashi's skin smells like home.

Sasuke knows that Kakashi won’t sleep tonight – he’ll stay awake and guard their camp for the night. Sasuke figures that Kakashi will soon get up, as he’s only resting his eyes and catching his breath for a moment. But right now, Sasuke enjoys the rare moment when he, for the first time in years, feels utterly and completely safe and even though he knows that the agony of brother's fate will torment him again tomorrow, he will allow himself to forget now.

And he sleeps.

 

o0o

 

Sasuke wakes up to a rustling sound somewhere on his left and tries to figure out where he is yet again. He blinks his eyes open, stares at the rocky ceiling of the cave in confusion and then turns his head around to spot Kakashi packing his things, fully clothed and the mask back in place. He is humming something to himself, a tune that seems familiar but Sasuke can’t quite remember its name.

A glance outside tells him that the sun has already risen hours ago. Then Sasuke registers that the sweater – that at this point smells quite pronouncedly like sex – is the only thing he is wearing, and there is only a thin blanket covering his legs. The memories of last night start slowly dropping back into his head as he watches Kakashi move silently around the cave, collecting his things and putting out the fire. Deciding not to dwell on the mental pictures too much, Sasuke goes for his own now-dry clothes next to the bedroll with his hand, and on that exact moment Kakashi decides to notice that he is awake.

“ _Well, shit_ ,” is the first thought that goes through Sasuke’s mind as Kakashi’s eyes meet his own. He grips the yukata he managed to grab into his hands and holds it against his chest, unconsciously trying to cover himself although he does have the sweater on –  as if hiding behind clothes would do him any good after last night – but Sasuke doesn't really care because he feels naked and cold and his former teacher is looking at him funnily.

”What?” he blurts out, not appreciating the twinkle in Kakashi’s eyes right now.

”Nothing.”

There is the smile he remembers from his genin days, Kakashi’s eyes shut in arcs as he silently laughs at Sasuke’s bewilderment and possibly his bad case of bed hair. But Sasuke is too busy with hunting down his clothes to worry about Kakashi and his problems.

After Kakashi chivalrously turns his back to him without Sasuke asking to, Sasuke parts with the borrowed sweater with mixed feelings and pulls on his own clothes. The yukata customary to Otogakure isn’t that suitable for the climate of the Land of Snow, he notes again as he tries to hide his shivering and grits his teeth in frustration.

He is, once again, hit in the face by the sweater and Sasuke curses colourfully out loud, turning to glare at the person guilty of this, because this is becoming a habit and he doesn't like it one bit.

But Sasuke doesn’t get the chance to complain as Kakashi walks all over him again.

”Keep it, I have my cape. I won't have you dying of cold after all the trouble I had last night trying to keep you sane.”

Sasuke gapes at him, willing his mouth from hanging open because the asshole is joking about last night. Sasuke squints his eyes at Kakashi when he starts laughing.

”You're a bastard.”

He collects the few things he has and helps Kakashi to put away the bedroll. Sasuke watches him, studying the familiar way he moves as he checks the cave for the last time. Then his former teacher comes to stand next to Sasuke. After all these years Kakashi is still taller than him.

”Sasuke?”

Sasuke hums at him, an affirmative sound from deep his throat. Kakashi takes his time before he continues, watching the clouds at the now bright sky.

”I don't regret last night if you don't,” he says slowly, drawing out the words as he speaks and finally turns to look at Sasuke. ”But I think we should leave it as it is, a one-night thing, and move on from there. If that’s alright with you?”

Kakashi makes it easier for him than he deserves and Sasuke feels almost guilty as he nods back at him, swallowing the words of gratitude he doesn’t know how to express.

”Sure,” he breathes out and looks back at Kakashi. A little bit overgrown hair falls over Kakashi’s eyes, almost hiding the familiar scar, and when such a defining feature of him disappears, Sasuke has a hard time recalling the details of the face behind the mask. The cave was dark last night and full of swaying shadows, and frankly, he was busy with other things at the time to fully imprint such things into his memory.

”So we're fine?” Kakashi asks, his thoughts already elsewhere as he drapes the white cape over his shoulders.

”Yeah,” Sasuke answers without thinking. He crosses his arms over his chest, the dark sweater still hanging in his left hand, and shifts his weight from one foot to another.

“You know,” Kakashi starts again, stopping in mid-motion to turn to look at Sasuke, “I _am_ sorry for letting you go. And letting you down. I should have been a better teacher for you.”

“You should have,” Sasuke answers, meeting Kakashi’s eyes head-on, holding his chin high.

A sad smile appears on Kakashi’s face as his shoulders sag down, defeated.

“So what are you going to do now?” he asks, his head tilted to the side, the night he spent up now showing on his face as dark circles under his eyes. “When should we expect you to come to blow us up?”

When he puts it like that, even Sasuke has to snort at his plan of destroying a whole shinobi village on his own.

“It won’t be a surprise if I tell you now,” he smirks at Kakashi who flashes a tired smile at him.

Sasuke shakes his head.

“I don’t honestly know what I’m going to do,” he admits, swinging the sweater in his hand. “The moment I had lived for for a decade has come and gone. I never thought what would come after killing my brother – I thought I would die as well and yet here I am.”

“I know the feeling,” Kakashi answers, a deep, old hurt passing in his eyes and Sasuke wonders once again what he has been through in his lifetime.

“Revenge is the only thing I have ever known.”

Kakashi looks at him again and takes a deep breath.

“If you can’t let go of it, be at least smarter than the ones you want to take down. The Elders and Danzou are responsible for eliminating your clan, not the people of Konoha. Why don’t you try to beat them in their own game?”

“What do you mean?” Sasuke asks, not shooting down the idea just yet.

Kakashi doesn’t answer that question – instead he takes a step closer and lays his hand carefully on Sasuke’s shoulder.

“We – Naruto and Sakura and I – we hope that someday you’ll come back to us. And that when that day comes, you haven’t done something that would prevent it.”

“Like killed the head of the village? Is that what you mean?” Sasuke asks, one dark brow raised, a grin gracing his lips.

“Maybe,” Kakashi smiles back at him. Then he lowers his voice and lets his hand fall from Sasuke’s shoulder. “You still have a home with us, if you want it.”

Sasuke blinks, swallows whatever emotions that declaration manages to raise, and kicks the powder snow at his feet.

”Where are you going from here?” he asks without intending to do so, changing the subject to something more comfortable and less likely to make him cry, and pretends to be all nonchalant about it. Kakashi raises an eyebrow at him, and Sasuke swears at himself because of course Kakashi would notice.

”Back to Konoha. My mission is over and now I'm late due to running into some old friends,” Kakashi chimes with a smile in his voice.

”You're always late,” Sasuke grunts when he comes up with nothing else, reverting back to his genin days. Kakashi laughs heartily at that and ruffles Sasuke's dark hair as he steps outside. 

”Do try to take care of yourself,” he smiles and leaves Sasuke behind, his white cape soon disappearing into the snow-covered forest around the cave.

Sasuke tightens his grip on the thick, surprisingly heavy sweater he is holding in his hand. He is already feeling cold and it has nothing to do with him being left alone – or so Sasuke tries to tell himself. After a few seconds of stubbornness and a freezing gust of wind, he gives up and pulls the sweater on. He must look hilarious with it hanging loosely over his white yukata – but who is there to see him?

Sasuke tugs the annoying piece of clothing better on himself, goes over his mental checklist of his weapons and when he is satisfied that he has everything with him, he buries his face a little deeper into the collar of the warm sweater and steps out of the cave, starting to plan the one thing he knows best – revenge.


	4. Storm Warning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I no longer have a beta-reader, so there are bound to be (a lot more) mistakes. Please try to bear with me, I'm not a native English speaker.

 

_The 27th of April, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_

Spring has come earlier to the Land of Fire than to the various countries Sasuke has been passing through during the last couple of months. The forest around the Hidden Village of the Leaf is already green and full of life, unlike in the neighbouring nations where the ground is still frozen and trees bare.

Sasuke has taken his time with loitering around the Ninja Countries and toying with the idea of revenge, and eventually his feet have led him back to the gates of Konoha. 

Coming back feels almost pleasant in such a warm weather. A gentle breeze sways locks of Sasuke’s hair over his face as he watches the ANBU guards surrounding him – a squadron of masked, armed shinobis that appeared out of thin air around him. Sasuke counts at least twenty of them. He expected nothing less.

”I have come to surrender,” he states his purpose out loud as the ANBUS study him in silence, their weapons drawn out. Sasuke lets his sword stay at his hip and keeps his hands clearly in sight – as if any of that would stop him from killing all of them if he wanted to.

His declaration causes confusion among the Leaf shinobis. Although the ninjas of the assassination squad are expected to hide their emotions from their targets, there is certain befuddlement hanging in the air. They were expecting a missing-nin like him to have come to attack or threaten the village, not to give himself over.

Naruto, a flash of orange amidst all the blacks and whites, sticks out like a sore thumb as he pushes his way through the crowd gathered around Sasuke. He is dragging Sakura along with him, desperately hopeful expressions on both of their faces. Because of course Naruto would recognize Sasuke's chakra all the way from the other side of the village – the rumours about the Uzumaki's sage powers have indeed travelled to the Sound and to Sasuke’s ears.

Sasuke's best friend stops in his tracks when he spots him and the widest smile Sasuke has ever had the misfortune to witness spreads on Naruto’s tanned face.

”Oi, asshole, welcome home!” Naruto shouts and waves his arms, scaring the nearby ANBUs to ducking down to avoid getting hit in the face. Naruto has grown in his absence as he stands probably taller than Sasuke now, radiating light and chakra like the sun.

”Idiot,” Sasuke grunts back at him, knowing that Naruto won’t shut up if left unacknowledged. Sasuke isn't sure whether he should be surprised or flattered that Naruto wants anything to do with him after he left Naruto to die the last time they met – a gaping hole bleeding in his chest, courtesy of Sasuke’s lightning jutsu. But that seems to be all forgiven and forgotten now, judging by the joyous grin that has still to leave Naruto’s face.

Sakura has matured too while Sasuke was away. Gone is the little girl shadowed by her teammates. Instead, in her place stands a woman. Her short hair frames her face better than it did when she was just a tiny kid, her arms are now almost more muscled up than Naruto’s, and there’s a certain healthy self-confidence evident in her eyes. She seems at peace with herself as she meets his gaze evenly, a small smile blooming on her lips when Sasuke nods at her. He has missed her too, in his own way.

The fact that there are only three members present of the four shinobis of original Team 7 is surprisingly disappointing. Sasuke is sure that in all the dreams his teammates have had of his return – and maybe in some of his own – all three of them, Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi, were there to greet Sasuke and welcome him back home. Thus, Sasuke is feeling somehow let down that the man that all but orchestrated Sasuke’s peaceful return to the village isn't there to witness the results. Sasuke wonders if it is just due to Kakashi being chronically late for everything – maybe the jounin is lost on the path of life again – or if he is not coming at all.

The Hokage arrives. Tsunade, commanding attention by just walking in on the scene, has a stern look on her face as she stares down at Sasuke.

”Uchiha. Why are you here?” she asks with a scowl as if she was scolding a small child instead of confronting a traitor to her village.

”I'm here to surrender,” Sasuke repeats his words with a deep breath. Saying that he has come to return home doesn’t sit right in his mouth – Sasuke isn’t sure if he even has one anymore. Konoha hasn't felt like his home since the massacre, and Otogakure did even less. Now, after six years of being gone, his birth village itself has been rebuilt a few times and Sasuke is pretty sure there is hardly anything left there that he would find even remotely familiar.

The Hokage isn't distracted by his statement.

”And why is that?”

”I have killed my brother. I have no reason to stay away from the village I was born in,” Sasuke answers and refuses to acknowledge the fact that an image of a lifeless Itachi flashes on his mind. Pretending that he has any interest in Konoha is irritating, but revealing his plan to kill the Elders and Danzou doesn’t seem like the right move either.

”Has it occurred to you that you left the village against your orders and doing so betrayed Konoha?”

”Yes. I’m willing to face the consequences of my actions.”

Tsunade, a rather frightening woman with her immense strength and piercing eyes, takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of her nose.

”Fine. Come back, I don’t care. You won’t listen me anyway and Naruto will bug me for days if I turn you away. But we still have to imprison you and – ”

She is cut off when an old man Sasuke recognizes as Shimura Danzou and a couple – a man and a woman so ancient they look like they could kick the bucket any minute now – storm in on the scene.

Sasuke has seen Danzou’s picture on the bingo book, has studied his page on the book quite intently during the last months. This is the man that arranged the Uchiha massacre and made Itachi’s life hell. Sasuke’s nails dig into his palm, drawing blood, as he clenches his fists to stop himself from lunging at the councillor right this second.

This is the man he has come here to kill.

”What were you planning to do with Uchiha, Lady Hokage?” Danzou asks in a dry voice, throwing a disapproving look at Sasuke who meets his gaze evenly, refusing to back down an inch.

Tsunade's hazel eyes flash dangerously.

”Councillor, I don't think I have to answer to you in these matters – ”

”You were going to keep him in jail for a few weeks and let him go after that, weren't you? Because that is what the Kyuubi brat wants and you will do everything he tells you to do. He has you wrapped around his little finger, _Tsunade-hime_ ,” Danzou snaps, his harsh voice clashing with the sweet nickname.

”How dare you –!”

”Together with the Elders I overpower you in this matter. Uchiha is a danger to the village – he has been working for Orochimaru for years and that makes him a shinobi of Otogakure. We shall treat him as such, meaning that he will be imprisoned and interrogated like any other enemy ninja. As the Hokage, you must understand that importance of the intel we can get from him, even after his master’s death,” Danzou lectures Tsunade, somehow managing to look taller than the woman.

He is completely ignoring Sasuke, acting like the subject of his speech isn’t standing right there next to them.

“And there is always the matter of the sharingan. The bloodline of the Uchiha is nigh extinct, and for the good of Konoha we must try to preserve the invaluable doujutsu. If he proves to be uncooperative, we can always transplant his eyes to someone else. The transplanted eye has been proved to work just as well, as we have seen with Hatake.”

”You can't decide that!” the Hokage hisses her answer, furious at the old councillor for walking all over her authority as the head of the village. ” You want him locked up for good just to spite me and you have no right to do that!”

”Lady Hokage, it seems that you have forgotten that this young man is a wanted criminal. What stops him from attacking our people?” Danzou answer calmly, indicating towards Sasuke with his good hand, his voice infinitely patient as he addresses Tsunade like she is daft.

”He has killed only Uchiha Itachi and Orochimaru, both enemies of Konoha. I don’t that makes him _our_ enemy.”

Sasuke has hard believing that the Hokage is so adamantly on his side as the two continue hurling cleverly concealed insults at each other. The crowd around them wavers – the citizens of Konoha drawn there by the commotion are also clearly confused by the political debate going on. Sasuke wonders if this fight is not just a trivial quarrel between the two but a symptom of a bigger feud between the village head and the councillor.

”He abandoned his village!” Danzou thunders at Tsunade with the Elders furiously nodding at his every word behind him.

”He still deserves a trial,” Tsunade grits her teeth together and crosses her arms over her chest. Naruto cheers loudly in the background, while the already stressed ANBUs try to block him from the view.

Danzou turns around, surprisingly agile considering his cane and bad arm, and starts walking back into the village with the Elders following after him.

”We shall continue this discussion somewhere else,” he announces, directing his stiff words to Tsunade. Then he turns the ANBU. ”Take him in.”

Sasuke has just the time to register Naruto’s alarmed shouts and the worry flashing in Sakura’s eyes before he is hit on the head from behind. In that half of a second he curses the old councillor’s ridiculously unnecessary show of power, because Sasuke was going to let Konoha take him in without making a fuss about it.

And then he blacks out.

 

o0o

 

Sasuke comes to in a cold, damp cell. Disorientated, he sits up on the uncomfortable bed, wiggling his fingers and toes awake. He stares at nothing in particular for a while, blinking the remnants of sleep out of his eyes. When Sasuke swipes his messy hair from his face, he notices a new pair of chakra cuffs on his wrists and curses colourfully out loud because this is another bothersome thing in the danger of becoming a habit.

If Sasuke has to find something positive from this sorry situation of his, he could say that at least the Konoha shinobis didn’t try to kill him the second they caught a glimpse of him. And he is inside the borders of the village. His imprisonment was predictable – Sasuke didn’t think anyone in Konoha, except for Team 7, would welcome him home with open arms – but it is quite annoying to be thrown into jail now that the time has come.

But Sasuke is back in the village he left six years ago and once again ready to avenge his clan – and this time also his brother.

Though it may take some time before he gets to the execution of Danzou part, he thinks as he tugs the metal cuffs.

Now the only thing he can do is wait.

 

o0o

 

_The 5th of May, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_

By the time Naruto finally shows up to the other side of the cell bars, Sasuke has planned at least three possible ways to escape, learned to differentiate the guards patrolling the halls by their footsteps and got his fingers tingling after futilely trying to produce even a tiny spark of his chakra.

”Took you long enough,” Sasuke says lazily, going through his stretches on the cot, bending forward over his straightened leg. Sasuke has his eyes closed and his face hidden behind his dark hair as he presses his forehead to his knee, his back making a nice _scrunch_ sound.

Naruto’s answer is predictable.

”You asshole.”

Sasuke tilts his face to the side, just so that his fair falls away from his eyes and he can see Naruto standing at the door with his built-up chest covered in a mesh shirt. His tanned arms crossed defiantly.

Naruto’s act of pretending to be angry at Sasuke last full three seconds, then he is brightly grinning at his friend, dimples on his cheeks.

”What's so funny, idiot?” Sasuke sighs and climbs up from the cranky bed, shaking his legs to loosen up any cramps. He walks to the door and grabs the cold metal bars, quite aware of the rough, stiff clothes he is wearing – standard issue prison clothes that were given to him after he started whining about wearing his own for three days straight.

”You're back!” Naruto exclaims and gives him an all-suffering look like Sasuke is stupid for not realising that.

“Did you notice just now?” Sasuke huffs and swings his wrists in front of Naruto's face. The chakra cuffs on his wrists chime as they cling on the metal. “Do you think this is anything to be happy about?”

”Well, not this prison thing exactly, but you came back on your own. And you are here to stay, aren't you?” Naruto explains, his words – as is typical for him – so fast and woven together that Sasuke has a hard time listening to him. ”Aren't you?” Naruto's blue eyes turn grey when he gets worried, his hands clasping Sasuke’s into his own.

Sasuke glances down at their intertwined hands, baffled by the sudden gesture and the intimacy of it. When he looks up again, Naruto is staring intently at him, his sun-bleached hair shining even in the dim light of the corridor.

Sasuke hasn't told his old team why he is back in Konoha. He isn’t going to tell his best friend the truth about his brother and the village Naruto so dearly loves here, in a dingy prison cell, where the walls have ears and every guard stationed here answers to the very man Sasuke has come to Konoha to end.

Sasuke hasn't even thought about what his old teammates are going to think about his reasons for returning. He doesn’t know if he wants to stay in the village after he is finished his revenge – his missions around the world have awaken the traveller in him and the thought of roaming the Shinobi Countries and far beyond them, free of anyone’s expectations, does tempt him from time to time.

Despite these thoughts it is still remarkably easy to decide to think about it later and try to swat Naruto over the head.

”Of course I am, you idiot! What do think I’m sitting here for?”

While Naruto whines about his head and makes faces at him, Sasuke drags the information of what will happen to him out of his best friend. While Sasuke thinks Naruto is the dumbest dead-last he has ever met, he has his shining moments every now and then – Naruto can be quite observant when he wants to be. Naruto has apparently been pressuring Tsunade into talking because he seems quite informed of what will happen to Sasuke.

There will be a trial held in a few days to determine if he is an enemy of Konoha and how the village shall punish him for turning traitor. All the clan heads will be there alongside the Hokage and the Council.

And Danzou.

”We'll all be rooting for you,” Naruto says and flashes an almost sad smile at him. It’s an odd look on such a happy face.

Sasuke hums at him. He didn't quite remember how annoyingly positive Naruto can be.

”Sakura couldn't come today, she's busy with the hospital,” Naruto continues. ”And I didn't think you cared about seeing Yamato or Sai so I didn't ask them to come.”

Sasuke wonders if those names should mean something to him, but doesn't even bother to try that hard.

”So I came alone today.”

Sasuke curses himself for wanting to ask why Kakashi isn't here, because that would mean that he cares or that Sasuke wants him to be here with his stupid books and stupid smiles that make Sasuke think of home. They agreed that their last meeting would mean nothing, so it certainly doesn’t mean that Sasuke actually wants the man to be around.

Even if Sasuke hasn’t still quite got the man out of his head.

_Especially_ because Sasuke hasn’t quite got him out of his head.

Sasuke doesn't know what Naruto sees on his face when the blond decides to take that exact moment to continue babbling on.

”Oh yeah, Kakashi-sensei is on a mission, so that's why he couldn't come. But I think he will be back for your trial, though,” the idiot says and scratches his head, scrunching his eyes closed in the characteristic way of his.

”He's always late,” Sasuke mumbles under his breath, eyes closed, and leans his head against the metal bars. Naruto catches his answer and bursts out laughing, a rich sound that echoes in the hallway. Sasuke tries not to compare it to his former teacher’s laughter, deeper and lower when Sasuke said the same thing to him.

 

o0o

 

_The 10th of May, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_

The court room is a huge, open space with a high ceiling, and located somewhere on the lower levels of the Hokage tower. People fill in the seat rows, spectators slowly coming through the doors to witness the trial of the last Uchiha.

Sasuke is pushed forward to the middle of room, all eyes on him as he takes his place at the seat of the accused. He spots the clan leaders on one of the lower seat rows that are specifically reserved for them and other people in charge of the village – the members of the Council, the wrinkly elders, a familiar looking woman with dark hair – Sasuke has to rack his brain for a while before he remembers her name, Shizune.

Everyone in the audience is watching him with keen eyes and Sasuke has to remind himself several times that he wants to give a good impression of himself to these people. He needs to be accepted back to the village if he wants his plan to work and get the village acknowledge the truth about the Uchiha massacre – because only after that comes his time to take his revenge on Danzou. That means Sasuke is willing to do anything to get justice for his brother, even if it means sucking up to these old bats.

Though it’s been years since he set a foot on his ancestors’ land, Sasuke is still the youngest son of the leader of the ancient Uchiha clan – one of the respected founding clans of Konoha – and he knows to how to act like one.

Brought up in a family full of traditions, Sasuke has been raised to take over the clan after his father – a spare should anything to happen to Itachi, no matter how unlikely his family thought that to be at the time. Sasuke might have been just a little child when his mother started teaching him intricate bows, fancy words and old-fashioned etiquette still valued among archaic clans, but he remembers. His upbringing kicks in now when he is standing in front of these people – he knows to whom he should bow and how to address these people to gain their favour – and most important of all, he knows to hold his head high.

The Hokage takes her seat at the centre of a long table and openly glowers at Danzou when the old man sits down next to her, a bitter expression already on his face. Some chuunins acting as clerks and secretaries run around the room, while the officials are handing over papers and a heavy sound of whispering hums in the air.

Tsunade coughs pointedly and stands up. Sasuke isn’t interested in the obligatory pleasantries and formalities of the beginning of the trial and tunes her voice out, instead contenting himself with glaring daggers at Danzou in the meantime. 

He starts to focus on to what is being said only when his name is called.

”Uchiha Sasuke, you stand here today accused of betraying your village six years ago. You left your village without permission and continued to work under a known enemy of Konoha for several years, supposedly aiding directly or indirectly late Orochimaru’s illegal experiments and feud against the village of Konoha. How do you respond to these accusations?”

”Guilty.”

A surprised gasp escapes the crowd and furious whispering fills the room. Tsunade blinks at his reply, her brown eyes wide while next to her, Danzou doesn’t seem to know what to think. He is trying to keep a calm and serious expression on his face but is not quite succeeding. Sasuke keeps staring straight forward a little bit pass the Hokage’s shoulder, not giving into the temptation to hunch his shoulders under the pressure of the audience. From the corner of his eye he can still spot blurs of orange and pink in the rows on his right – weeks have passed since his capture, but his supporter group still consists of only two people.

Danzou stands up and clears his throat quite pointedly until the crowd quiets down to listen to him.

”The accused has confessed abandoning his village, what further proof do we need? His punishment shall be execution, as is the standard procedure with all missing-nins that have turned traitor to their village.”

There is an aghast ” _What? No!_ ” coming from Naruto as he stands up, his fist in the air, and the haunting chakra of Kyuubi leaks through. Naruto is already climbing down from the stand, balancing himself on a back of a seat when the ghostly-pale but determined Sakura yanks him back onto his seat with a hissed “ _Sit down_ ”.

Sasuke’s plan of being uncharacteristically polite and getting a quick pardon has gone downward spiral and fast. He swears under his breath, takes a quick scan of the guards around, and wonders, quite suicidally, if he could kill the old councillor right there, without his chakra, before the guards could get their hands on him.

”You can't order that without my consent!” Tsunade barks as she too gets on her feet and slams her palms against the desk, the papers on it jumping by the force of the hit. ”Uchiha was just a child when he left, and he has come back on his own volition.”

”He stopped being a child the moment he became a genin of Konoha, Lady Hokage,” Danzou answers, turning to face her. “There have been others like him, and none of them were spared because of their young age. He is a risk to the village!”

Naruto, despite Sakura’s best efforts, hasn’t calmed down and is still screaming obscenities at Danzou’s direction. The guards, jounins and a handful of ANBUs, have got enough of his antics and seize Naruto. As they start dragging the Uzumaki out of the room, he keeps voicing his less than preferable opinion of the councillor, and Sasuke feels bad for Sakura who is left sitting there on her own, a lost expression on her face as the people next to her move to leave a gap between her and themselves.

”He decided his fate the moment he chose Orochimaru over his home, over his village he had pledged loyalty to when he accepted the forehead protector. Konoha owes nothing to him after that, and certainly not a full pardon,” Danzou says.

Something in Sasuke snaps. He takes a step forward and opens his mouth.

”Konoha owes me nothing? How dare you say that? _How dare you?_ _”_ he hisses at the councillor, and had there not been chakra restraints on him, there would have been sharingans blazing in his eyes. “Konoha owes me, my brother, my clan everything! Konoha ordered my brother to murder his own clan! My clan that was shunned and isolated from the village! And when we finally tried to stand up for our rights, Konoha ordered the massacre of the whole clan!”

There’s something akin to fear flashing in Danzou’s eyes and it stands out from the dozens shocked faces around him. The councillor thought that he would never get caught, didn’t he?

In a desperate attempt to save his own skin, Danzou turns to Tsunade and the officials around her.

“Are you going to let this heretic spew such ridiculous accusations against the village?”

Angered by the complete dismissal by the councillor, Sasuke nearly shouts his next words, his nails burying themselves deep into his palms. His lower lip is bleeding where has bitten himself to keep himself for clawing the man’s eyes out.

” _You_ ordered my brother to murder his own family! Itachi was thirteen! _Thirteen!_ And you made him choose between this sorry excuse of a village and his parents, his father and mother! Because of your precious village!”

”Those are lies,” Danzou gnarls at him and makes a show of looking disbelievingly at his audience, urging them to take his side. “Blatant lies. Can't you see that the Uchiha is mad? Who in their right minds would come up with something like that?”

” _You know I'm telling the truth_!” Sasuke growls, on the verge of losing his patience with these imbeciles, his voice turning almost unrecognizable. And once again the accent of the Sound sizzles even to his own ears, dividing him from everyone else in this room.

“This is a pathetic shithole of a village where everyone acts so fucking perfect and _pretends_ that the village gives a fuck to happens to their shinobis. We're are just disposable tools to you, no one’s irreplaceable. You owe me nothing? I wasn’t even eight when everyone of my clan was murdered – and I was left to live in the house my parents died in. I was a child and I was left alone with the ghosts of my dead family!”

Sasuke literally shouts the last part, his chest heaving for breath, and he desperately glances around him because nobody seems to believe him. People are shaking their heads, and those who do seem to listen to his words are turning away from facing him, too ashamed to admit that he is right.

”And I'm not the only orphan your village has abandoned! The son of the Fourth Hokage, the son of your hero, was left alone for the whole of his life.”

Sasuke made the connection between Naruto and the Yondaime the moment he saw Naruto all grown up, filled in and radiating warm chakra as bright as his smiles. When Sasuke was little, he had seen the Fourth in his mother's pictures with a woman with long red hair. Uzumaki Kushina had been Uchiha Mikoto’s best friend, and Sasuke hadn’t avoided tumbling across pictures of her and her husband when the world had still been a better place.

” _This_ is how you treat your children, raising them to be cannon fodder since the moment they are born. You dare to claim that I should have stayed. Six years ago, I had two evils to choose from and I chose the one that would at least give me what I wanted. You didn’t seem so adamant at getting me back then, since you send a bunch _of thirteen-year-olds_ after me.”

Danzou is pale and shaking with anger by the time Sasuke finishes. Even Tsunade seems taken aback at his point. Sasuke sweeps the crowd with his eyes and doesn't need his sharingan to make a lasting impression on them. His words have been news to the people listening and Sasuke spots the clan heads whispering together and frantically throwing sceptical glances at Danzou. Sasuke doesn’t know if they believe him but at least they will remember him.

”The boy is lying,” comes Danzou's hasty response when he notes that the situation might not be turning to his advantage. It manages to make him look weak and he realises that too. He stands up and declares his judgement before anyone can stop him:

”Uchiha Sasuke, your chakra will be properly sealed and you will stay imprisoned till further notice. The verdict of your execution will be decided later.”

He is stalling for time and that's nothing new.

At Danzou's mark, the guards take Sasuke by his arms and start escorting him away from the court and back to his cell. There is a chaos brewing in the room as the whispering of the crowd turns into a full out shouting competition.

Sasuke is almost at the front door when he hears the Hokage's voice rise again, a booming voice thundering over the disorganized noise and chatter, and Danzou's dry voice snapping back at her.

This is far from over.


	5. Dead Calm

 

_The 10th of May, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_

Soft footsteps approach his cell only a few hours after the trial. Sasuke lazily opens his eyes when he recognizes the chakra signature, and with a sigh he gets up from the cot and walks to the door, tugging his clothes straight.

Soon his old teammate is standing behind the bars, twirling her hair with her fingers.

Sakura manages a nervous “Hi.”

Sasuke, who really has no idea what to do with her, nods back as a greeting of sorts and leans against the bars to get a better view of her.

”What are you doing here?” he asks when she doesn’t seem to know where to start either, the last six years of separation hanging heavy in the air between them.

”I thought that Danzou has probably ordered the guards not to tell you anything, so I decided to come to fill you in,” Sakura grins at him and brushes a lock of pastel pink hair behind her ear. She glances behind her shoulder at the guard stationed down the hall, and when she starts talking again, her voice has dropped to conspiratorially low. ”Naruto wasn’t allowed to come today, because, you know, he started screaming at the court.”

Naruto being banned from visiting him does not come as a surprise, but it is a small wonder that Sakura was let in here – Sasuke is amazed that he is allowed visitors at all after the stunt he pulled at the trial.

”After you were taken away, Tsunade-shishou and Danzou kept shouting at each other for a good while,” Sakura says and cringes, mint green eyes avoiding Sasuke’s. “Danzou demanded that you should be either executed or that your chakra should be permanently sealed off.”

A seal to take away his chakra. There has been an awful lot of those going around these days, hasn’t there?

“That’s insane.”

“The Council is the one deciding what will happen to you, so it’s not set in stone yet, but Danzou does have influence on them.” Sakura shuffles her feet. “The problem with his demand is that permanent chakra seals haven’t really been used in Konoha, so we’re running out of options. Surprise, surprise, Danzou has a certain new sealing technique that would drain all of your chakra for good, and he requested that Konoha should use that on you if Tsunade-shishou won’t have you killed. She is against it, because the technique hasn’t been properly examined by Konoha and there’s no telling if it has any side effects. And because making you a civilian for the rest of your life would be kinda harsh.”

“Danzou just happens to have a new jutsu right now that my case is on the table. How very convenient,” Sasuke snorts. He doesn’t believe in coincidences. “Where did he even get a technique like that?”

“He wouldn’t tell when Tsunade-shishou asked, and I think that says something.” Sakura answers. “I talked with her afterwards and she was confident that we will win this one. There is no way that the village would allow an experimental jutsu of unknown origins to be used, even on a prisoner. That means the seal will probably be a common restraint seal that has been used by Konoha before – and yes, they can be released.”

“But didn’t you say that the other option would be me getting executed?”

“That’s what _Danzou_ said, not the Council. Luckily for us, Danzou’s authority over the village took a hit in your trial – that means the Council is less inclined to go with what he wants – and Tsunade-shishou said that she refuses to give in even an inch now. Danzou’s been after the Hokage position for years now, and after what you revealed about him at the trial, she doesn’t want him even thinking of leading the village. Thankfully, that means that she will also fight for you,” Sakura says and flashes him a smile. “Oh, and then there was the matter of who will perform the sealing.”

“What’s so special about that?”

Sakura reminds Sasuke of her thirteen-year old self when she launches into an explanation, her chin tilted just lightly upwards and eyes shining – an exact copy of her from the time when they were still a genin team and she knew an answer to something the boys didn’t.

“There aren’t that many shinobis in Konoha who are capable of such complicated sealing that is needed to make the seal stable. Danzou insists that the one performing the sealing must be someone who can be trusted not to help you escape, since the one who made the seal can also release it. Danzou said if Konoha can’t find a suitable sealer, he will not agree to the sealing and will vote for your execution instead.”

“So he is blackmailing Tsunade into letting someone loyal to him to do the sealing? What are the odds that the seal will quite different from the intended common one if that happens?” Sasuke scoffs, a grim sound that makes Sakura blink.

“Yes, well, we thought of that too. It just means that we have to find someone not biased in either way.”

“And there is only a handful of those able to perform of the sealing in the first place?” Sasuke asks, already guessing the answer, and leans his head against the bars, his shoulders dropping. The situation is starting to feel worse with every second.

“Yep,” Sakura answers, the word almost lost in her sigh. “Tsunade-shishou said that the Fourth Hokage was an expert, but sadly he is not an option any longer. I have no idea if he ever taught anybody. And because Tsunade-shishou doesn’t want the other villages to know how messed up our political situation is, we can’t bring a sealer in from anywhere else either.”

Sasuke really, really, really wants to smash his head against the bars. Why did he ever think that coming back to Konoha would be a good idea?

"When will they decide who is going to do it?” he breathes out, eyes closed.

“They are working on it.”

“So that means it could take weeks,” Sasuke notes, voice dry, and lifts his gaze to look at her again.

“Unfortunately. And because a seal like that will need a huge amount of preparation and work put into it, it will take a while before it can be placed on you even after that.”

“So I’m not getting out of here for months, if at all. Brilliant, just brilliant.”

There’s a pregnant pause of Sakura trying to come up with something to say and Sasuke staring at her. She has run out of news and now she doesn’t seem to have anything to say to the boy she fancied years ago.

”I think I should go,” she blurts out suddenly, flailing with her hands. She turns around, clearly disappointed in the awkward tension between them, and starts to walk away.

Sasuke, only as an afterthought, shouts after her.

“Hey, Sakura?”

She turns around, strands of her hair flowing in the air, and a shy expression flashing on her face.

“Yeah?”

”Thanks for coming here,” he says while trying something akin to a smile, the memory of Team 7 as his new family still stuck to his head. She is not his best friend, but could be his sister if she wanted to.

A glorious smile spreads on Sakura’s lips and a faint blush over her cheeks along with it. She waves a hand at him and disappears around the corner with a new skip to her steps and Sasuke curses himself for accidentally getting her hopes up. It seems that despite maturing otherwise, she hasn’t still grown out of her school girl crush.

 

o0o

 

Days move past Sasuke and he is getting tired of his cell. He is allowed visitors only every now and then, and so, with no other human contact than the guards bringing him food three times a day, Sasuke soon loses count of days in his windowless little cell.

During those dull, endless days, he ponders what takes Konoha so long – there has been no news since that mess of a trial and Sasuke is starting to think they have just forgotten about him. He is well aware that his case hasn’t ever been about just him, that Tsunade and Danzou are using him as an excuse to fight against each other over the position of the head of the village, spitting insults and scheming behind each other’s back.

Sasuke is lying on his back on the cot, tossing an apple he stole from his meal tray in the air, when shinobis from the intelligence and interrogation department finally come for him. They take Sasuke for questioning deep into the lower levels of the building, multiple pairs of guards surrounding him as he is escorted through empty corridors. The chair he is told to sit on is hard and shaky, and the ninja on the opposite side of the table – a Yamanaka, by the looks of her – borders on being outwardly rude as she fires a question after another at him.

Sasuke doesn’t clamp up in front of the though means of his interrogators – instead he tells them everything they want to know about Orochimaru, the Sannin’s subordinates and the locations of his hideouts, because there is no reason not to. For his plan for revenge to work, he needs to get out the prison, preferably free and alive and in one piece, and that can be achieved only via cooperation.

He spends many hours recounting his life, starting from the moment he walked out of the gates of Konoha half a decade ago. The hearings and interrogations keep on coming, but at some point Sasuke runs out of facts he wants to share with Konoha. And then there are memories he is adamantly keeping only to himself – his dreams of Team 7, the nature of his latest encounter with his former superior officer, and his brother’s last moments.

Naruto is the only constant visitor Sasuke gets. He comes at least once a week – Sasuke guesses that the Uzumaki tries to visit him every day, but the guards won’t let him come. Sakura is up to her ears stuffed with work at the hospital, but she does manage to pop in a few times – most of her visits consists of her doing all the talking, because Sasuke can’t just come up with anything to say to her.

With both of his teammates taking the time to come see Sasuke at the prison, the absence of their former squad leader is pronounced. Not once has Sasuke even seen Kakashi during his time in Konoha, and by now, weeks into his imprisonment, he thinks it’s saying something. Kakashi did have the excuse of being on a mission and away from the village, but he should have come back ages ago. And there is no way that he doesn’t simply know about Sasuke being back in Konoha, because Naruto can’t shut up about him – Kakashi would have to be deaf and blind not to notice that something is going on.

Most of the time Sasuke tells himself that he doesn’t care what Kakashi does anyway, but there are moments when he can’t keep himself from wondering if this is some elaborate joke on Kakashi’s part – manipulating Sasuke into coming back to the village only to abandon him in the prison right after.

If it is, Sasuke isn’t laughing.

“So, how are you holding up?” Naruto asks him one time when he has come to see Sasuke. He is standing in front of the cell, leaning his weight against the bars and trying to look more relaxed than he is.

Sasuke isn’t in the mood for talking and makes a tired humming sound, not even bothering to get up from the cot he is lying on.

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” Naruto starts again and fidgets with his hands, eyes laid down.

“Don’t, it doesn’t suit you.”

“Bastard,” Naruto snaps back before anything else, the banter is so usual between them that the insults don’t mean a thing anymore. “But seriously, I’ve been thinking, what made you come back? What changed?”

Sasuke removes the arm from covering his face and blinks his eyes open. With his gaze glued to the ceiling he answers.

“I killed my brother. Then I found out that he wasn’t what I had thought he was. That changed.”

“Yes, but… I thought that you would have wanted to avenge his death – “

“I do. And I will.”

“But when I first heard you saying that Konoha had arranged the massacre, I thought that… I thought – “

“You thought what?” Sasuke snaps and turns to glare at Naruto, who almost flinches under the severity of Sasuke’s stare.

Naruto gulps but then hardens himself.

“I thought that you would seek revenge against Konoha,” he says, uncharacteristically sombre and fearing the worst.

“I was going to,” Sasuke admits, not looking away from Naruto. He doesn’t miss the disappointment flashing in the blond’s eyes. “I wanted to.”

He continues with that train of thought.

“Had I not got lost in the rage and bloodlust I most probably would have. Who knows, I might have attacked the village by now. You could be dead, half of Konoha could be.”

Then Sasuke takes another minute to think about it.

“Or most likely, I would be dead right now, got myself killed while trying to overcome a whole village all by myself. _Foolish little brother_ , that’s what Itachi would have said,” he laughs – a sad, miserable sound from deep in his throat that sounds like crying.

Naruto blinks at him, blue eyes big and wet, the freckled skin on his cheeks pale as he watches Sasuke ramble of his own madness.

“Is that what you wanted to hear?” Sasuke asks Naruto when the heavy silence between them stretches on, the only sounds coming from Naruto shuffling his feet against the stone floor.

“I – I don’t know,” Naruto admits and looks up past Sasuke, eyes staring at nothing. “But why did you surrender then? Why did you come back? You – you must hate this place, Konoha, and still you came back. I don’t understand.”

Sasuke realises that “There are many things you don’t understand” might not be the best possible answer.

“You know,” Sasuke starts slowly, searching for the right words, “there was a moment between killing Itachi and the moment I was told the truth of the massacre, when I was _free_.”

He turns to look at Naruto, watching his face for a sign that his best friend understands what he is trying to say. Naruto’s furrowed brow tells Sasuke that he doesn’t get it. Sasuke sits up on the bed, his legs crossed, and his hands do half of the talking as he launches on an explanation.

“Ever since I was eight, I had been living for this one, sole goal in my life, and then it finally came true. The murderer of my family was dead, my clan was avenged and I was free of that role. I had never thought I would survive the fight between us, I had never planned for anything after defeating Itachi. And suddenly there was this life in front of me, with no one telling me what to do or who I should be.”

Sasuke looks at Naruto, who has sat down on the floor. Their poses are mirroring in each other as they sit there, one in a cell and the other outside – divided only by a few meters and a wall of metal bars between them. Naruto is staring intently at Sasuke, leaning his chin on his hand as he listens, head just a bit tilted to the right.

“In that moment I realized that there was still something I wanted back in my life, one thing that I had left behind.”

“That’s us, isn’t it?” Naruto smiles at him, a big, goofy, completely happy smile on his face as he points one finger to his chest. “Team 7. Me and Sakura and Kakashi-sensei. I knew it all this time, I just knew it. You do care about us!

Sasuke doesn’t say anything to that, but Naruto doesn’t need his confirmation to know that he is right.

“That all went out of the window when the truth about Itachi came out. I will not sugar-coat it – I was going to destroy this village to every last man and woman. But along the way I realized – I was told – that I would be just as bad as the ones who murdered my clan if I slaughtered the whole village.”

“You were told? By who?”

“It doesn’t matter. But the point is that when I eventually sat down to think about, I understood that if I attacked a village full of innocent people – at least innocent of the massacre of my clan – I would lose the one thing I knew I still wanted. And I would go against everything my brother stood for. That’s why I have to go after the ones truly guilty of arranging the massacre, and keep my peace with Konoha.

Naruto sits there, face null as he ponders over Sasuke’s words. Then after a minute, he grins at Sasuke and falls back to his sing-song voice.

“So you do love us~!”

“Idiot,” Sasuke grunts and chucks a pillow at Naruto’s head through the bars.

“Has Sakura been here to see you?” Naruto asks after surviving the attack, trying to change the topic to something lighter. He shifts himself on his feet, aiming to stand up from the floor.

“Maybe twice since the trial?”

“Ah, well, she’s very busy with the hospital. I think Tsunade’s planning to make her a head of department or something,” Naruto asks and dusts off his trousers. He flashes a cheeky grin at Sasuke. “So, I don’t think she’s avoiding you,”

“Well, I kinda think she is.”

“What? Why?” Naruto jumps to ask, slamming himself against the bars to get a better look at Sasuke’s expression.

“I think she still, you know, _likes_ me.”

"Oh. Oh, so that's why – _Oh_ ," Naruto says in one breath and promptly sits back down on the floor. “Oh. Well. Shit.”

“That’s what I thought,” Sasuke sighs. “And there is one other member of Team 7 who is certainly avoiding me.”

“What, who? Sai?” Naruto blinks owlishly at him, completely missing the point Sasuke was trying to make.

“I do not care about Sai, you bonehead!” Sasuke growls at Naruto, picks the abandoned pillow from the floor and hurls it at the blond’s head again.

"Ow, ow, _ow_ , would you stop that?” Naruto whines, holding his head, and makes a face at Sasuke, eyes crunched closed. “Okay, so obviously it’s not Sai. Yamato then?”

Sasuke just _glares_ at him.

“Okay, okay, okay, put the pillow down. Of course I knew it was Kakashi-sensei, I’m not stupid – “

“Are you sure about that?”

"Do you want to hear the gossip or not?"

Sasuke does let go of the pillow but the glare remains on his face.

“Speak.”

“Well, the funny thing is that Sensei has kinda been avoiding all of us. I have seen him maybe twice since he came back from his mission – I don’t know where he was, but he was gone for a few weeks after you came back. But we haven’t seen him that much, and Yamato has been filling in for him when we have our training sessions.”

“So it’s not just me who he is avoiding?”

“Yeah, seems so. The last time I talked with him was – I think I ran into Sensei when he was talking about something with Tsunade-bachan? I don’t know what it was about, but they both looked kinda tense,” Naruto says and wrings his face into a something resembling a scowl. “When I asked why he hadn’t come to see us, he just said that he was busy.”

“He hasn’t been like that before?” Sasuke asks, trying to understand what could have changed the man so completely. The Kakashi he remembers from six years ago wouldn’t have missed a chance to bother his team and certainly would not have shut them out so rudely.

“No, he was normal before that mission, he offered to buy us ramen before he left,” Naruto answers and enhances his words with sharp nods. He stops and focuses back on Sasuke, words quite shocked as he asks: “Wait – he hasn’t been here _at all_?”

Sasuke shakes his head. Naruto’s eyes widen at that.

“But why would he stay away? I thought he missed you just as much as me and Sakura-chan.”

“I don’t know.”

“So, you’re saying that you guys haven’t met in six years and Sensei just won’t come down here to – it’s not like _you_ could go after _him_ ,” Naruto states, stands up and takes a firm grip of the bars that shut Sasuke away from the rest of the village.

“Well, I kinda ran into him a couple of months back, but I don’t think – he said that it wouldn’t matter – “

“What? What happened? He didn’t tell us anything,” Naruto cuts him off and suddenly the discussion is headed towards something Sasuke really isn’t comfortable talking about with anyone, let alone Naruto.

“Nothing, it was nothing,” he blurts out, words too hasty to sound natural, and he is feeling flushed under Naruto’s questioning gaze. “I – We _talked_ and it might have something to do with my decision to come back to Konoha. But I don’t know how it could lead to him avoiding all of us. If he was just keeping away from me, I would understand it, but if he isn’t seeing you _either_ … “

They remain there for a quiet moment, both staring at their feet, Naruto tapping his toes against the floor in a nervous, off-beat rhythm.

"Hey, don't worry,” Naruto continues after a second, raising his eyes to look at Sasuke, a lop-sided smile spreading over his sun-kissed face, “We are going to fix this and get you out, you just wait.”

“Well, there’s nothing else I can do, is there?” Sasuke tries to grin back at him, but he isn’t feeling quite as confident as Naruto seems to be.

 

o0o

 

_The 20th of May, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_

“Sasuke!”

The shout echoes in the hallway and Sasuke recognizes the voice as Naruto’s.

Naruto and Sakura catch him in the middle of stretching. Sasuke forgets himself into sitting on the floor with his legs straightened in front of him as he looks up at his former teammates who appear behind the cell door, both grinning from ear to ear.

“Sasuke!” Naruto yells again and can’t stop the laughter that escapes from his mouth along with his best friend’s name.

“Guess what?” Sakura adds from his side, just as excited.

“What?” Sasuke asks, voice flat, unimpressed by their sudden attack, but his obvious lack of interest doesn’t seem to slow down the two.

“We were just spying on this Council meeting about your imprisonment – “ Sakura starts but Naruto goes to speak over her:

“And Danzou and Tsunade-bachan had this _huge_ fight, ‘cos they have finally agreed on who will do the sealing and now they had to decide what seal to use – “

“Danzou wanted the new jutsu that I told you about, because he apparently had to compromise and agree to someone Tsunade suggested.” Now it’s Sakura’s turn to talk over Naruto. “He said that it would be only right that he gets his will now since Tsunade got her way once already – “

“You should have seen that fight, they were _this_ close to throwing things at each other – ” Naruto interrupts her once again, which only results in Sakura clearing her throat and not so subtly elbowing Naruto to silence him.

“As I was saying, Danzou was still fighting over that with Tsunade-shishou when the leader of the Nara clan, you know, Shikamaru’s father – he stood up and requested that the massacre of the Uchiha clan should be investigated again.”

”What?” Sasuke interrupts her before he can stop himself, frantic, and grabs the cell bars as he tries to pinpoint Sakura’s expression better in the dim light.

“I can’t believe it either!” Sakura beams at him as Naruto grins over her shoulder. “He said that in the light of new evidence the case should be examined again to see if any of your accusations are true.”

“But why would he care?”

“It seems that Tsunade-shishou isn’t the only one who is getting enough of Danzou bossing people around. This might be their chance to get rid of him through legal ways.”

“Danzou used to run the ROOT of the ANBU. Sai was in it for years and it wasn’t good for him,” Naruto adds. “The ROOT is supposed to have been shut down, but who knows if Danzou is still using his agents. Heck, he could be spying on all of us and we would have no idea!”

“Danzou leading the ROOT is almost public knowledge these days and that makes him disliked by the majority of the citizens of Konoha. Somebody having their own force that doesn’t fall under the Hokage’s authority makes people nervous,” Sakura explains and now Sasuke understands. This is what he wanted all along – to make the whole village see what really happened twelve years ago and punish those responsible. Only now it seems that he doesn’t get to deliver his revenge with his own hands, because if Danzou is found guilty, Konoha will make him pay for the massacre – not Sasuke.

But for that to happen, the people of Konoha would have to face the ugly truth that their village isn’t as pure as they would like to think.

“The Council shot down the idea, didn’t it?” Sasuke asks and sighs when he sees his friends’ expressions fall.

“Well, yeah. The Elders said that you are crazy and there is nothing to be investigated. The other clan heads seemed unsure about the whole thing,” Sakura admits, casting her eyes away from Sasuke.

“But anyway, this still means that there are people willing to believe you – or at least doubt Danzou and the Elders,” Naruto, ever the optimist, says. “We can fix this! We just need time.”

“Luckily, that’s the one thing I seem to have plenty of,” Sasuke snorts. Hours are long for somebody with nothing to do expect wait. “Okay, but what did you say about the seal? Have they decided anything?”

“They’re still working on it.”

“Any idea if I’ll be stuck sitting here even after the sealing or if I’ll be released when I can no longer harm anybody?”

Both Naruto and Sakura shake their heads awkwardly at him.

“I don’t think they have managed to think that far with all the fighting going on,” Sakura huffs and rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, but what if they let you go? Wouldn’t that be awesome?” Naruto grins and gets overly excited. “We could be Team 7 again! Just like before you left!”

“Dumbass, I wouldn’t have my chakra then. How do think being a team would work?”

“We will think of something. We could ask Lee, he can’t use chakra either, or maybe Kakashi-sensei knows – ” Naruto’s voice drops and there’s a lost look in his eyes.

“He’s still avoiding you, isn’t he?” Sasuke asks and is surprised that he manages to get even more disappointed in the man.

“Yeah,” Naruto sniffs, but plasters a fake grin on his face right after. He seems really hurt that their sensei has cut all of them off so suddenly and without an explanation. As if to compensate for feeling so blue, Naruto’s next yell is a tad too over the top to sound genuine.

“But never mind him, we three are together again and nothing can stop us!”

“Oh, shut it,” Sakura scoffs at him and rolls her eyes again, but doesn’t fight it when Naruto scoops her in a bear hug.

“There’s nothing Team 7 can’t do!”

Sasuke snorts at them both. Nothing, sure. The three of them just need to make sure Sasuke can keep his chakra, then get him out of the prison, convince the whole village of his brother’s innocence, overthrow the Council if necessary and kill a man.

Easy.


	6. Turbulence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you all for your comments and kudos, I appreciate each and every one of them.
> 
> I'm so sorry that Sasuke is such a drama queen.

 

_The 13th of June, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_

That morning a group of guards comes to fetch Sasuke from his cell without any warning. The first half-panicked thought to cross his mind is that somebody must have taken interest in the more and more frequent visits of Naruto and Sakura – they have been hatching a plan together to bust Sasuke out of the prison, though not that successfully so far. If they have been found out, Sasuke can kiss goodbye to his chances of ever getting free. He has no idea what else this could be about – it’s been weeks since any developments in his case, and his teammates haven’t heard anything either.

Sasuke is ushered to a bare chamber hidden deep below ground level, and pushed down on his knees in the middle of the room. There is a tangled seal drawn on the stone floor, the wet ink of it glistering blue as the intricate markings cover the whole room. Sasuke lands on the heart of the seal, his muscles tight and teeth gritted together. One of the guards deliberately tries to shove him off balance, and the metal cuffs on his wrists cling against the stone floor when Sasuke almost falls on his face. Sasuke crashes down onto his hands, his head stopping only inches away from the ground, and amidst all that he swears he can hear the shinobis arrogantly scoff behind him.

With the skin on his palms throbbing and every trace of his dignity gone, Sasuke pushes himself back up to a sitting position and forces himself to keep his head down. Hatred aches in him almost as badly as the scrapes and bruises on his hands, but he tells himself it is not worth starting a fight when he is at such a disadvantage – and it wouldn’t change anything anyway.

After Sasuke swallows the remains of his battered pride and simmers down, he glances again at the markings around him. He recognises a symbol here and there, and he has learned enough of the art of sealing to realise that constructing a complex and advanced seal like this must have taken days, if not weeks. Another look, another layer of familiar-looking sigils, and then it dawns on Sasuke that he has seen another seal resembling this one, and not that long ago.

The ninjas of the Snow tried to cast a technique almost like this one on him.

It seems that the time for sealing his chakra has come.

The irony of the situation doesn't escape him. Guess he was wrong about how quick and efficient the Leaf shinobis would be about sealing his chakra – Sasuke had thought that surely they wouldn’t bother to be this dramatic about it.

When he finally glances up from the symbols on the floor, the haunting similarities to the incident a few months back continue.

Kakashi is here.

Sasuke’s breath hitches in his throat. Their gazes meet – _gods,_ _it’s been months_ – but now there is no trace of recognition in Kakashi’s eyes. No lopsided smiles or quick winks to reassure him. Nothing.

It seems that this time his teacher is not there to rescue him.

Sasuke, degradingly brought down on his knees with his hands cuffed together, stares at the blank expression on Kakashi’s face and _seethes_. He should have known. Should have known that something was wrong when Kakashi wouldn’t show up. Sasuke had hoped that there would have been a good reason for his absence, like another mission away from Konoha, or that Kakashi had been banned for coming to see him for some reason – hell, Sasuke could even have dealt with the man avoiding him because of what happened in the Snow the last time – but guess Kakashi was all along just too busy plotting Sasuke’s punishment with the Council.

Sasuke wallows in his rage. Has Kakashi been lying the whole time? Was everything he said and did in the Land of Snow just a cruel ruse to get Sasuke to return to Konoha?

Kakashi’s familiar voice breaks the heavy silence.

”You are dismissed,” he commands and turns to look at the guards he is addressing. His words have a foreign cold tint to them, and there’s nothing to be seen of the lazy, slouching jounin-sensei in him.

Kakashi squints his eyes at the guards when they won’t budge – instead they keep loitering near the door and glaring at Sasuke.

”That's an order,” Kakashi states, his face like steel, and straightens himself up to his full height. This time it’s the ANBU captain in him speaking. Sasuke, despite his newfound resentment of the man, smirks to himself when the last one of the guards almost runs out of the room.

”Recruits these days...” Kakashi murmurs more to himself than to Sasuke, and then his whole demeanour changes – his posture relaxes, his voice loses its hard edge, and the put-on show of cold-blooded authority leaves him along with a deep sigh.

Sasuke doesn’t have the time to even blink at the abrupt transition before Kakashi crouches down in front of him and unceremoniously takes Sasuke’s hands into his own to inspect the injuries.

Sasuke has no idea what to think of this new development – he is so stunned by this whole thing that he doesn’t think of yanking his hands away from the touch. Kakashi has been avoiding him like the plague ever since Sasuke came back to the village, just a minute ago he was deliberately not even acknowledging his presence in the room, and now this. Sasuke doesn’t know what to think of him.

”Are you alright?” Kakashi asks Sasuke and glances briefly up from their hands at him before continuing to examine the slight bruising on Sasuke’s pale skin.

”Yeah,” Sasuke blurts out, caught off guard, and wonders how childish it would be to launch into a full rant about the hospitality of the Leaf prison. He doesn’t know where to focus – on the warm fingers tracing lines on his wrists, the seemingly justified rage over not hearing anything from Kakashi for months, or trying to understand what the hell is going on.

“Why am I here? Why are _you_ here?” he asks when it seems that Kakashi won’t be the one to start that conversation.

Kakashi finally lets go of Sasuke’s hands, though his fingers still linger close, and he raises his gaze up to look Sasuke in the eye. There’s sadness in his expression and his hair seems more grey than white in the dim light of the room.

“I’m here to seal your chakra.”

That sends cold shivers down Sasuke's spine, even though he knew to expect this the second he saw Kakashi in the room. Kakashi admitting it out loud just manages to make everything worse, and no amount of sorry expressions will stop Sasuke from feeling betrayed.

“Is this some kind of a joke to you?” Sasuke growls and surprises even himself with how bitter and angry he sounds. He is about to lose the one thing that makes him a ninja to a man who has taken so much from him already. “Is this what you wanted all along? Did you actually plan to fuck me? Or couldn’t you just pass that chance to convince me to come back the village so you could abandon me to rot in prison afterwards?”

“Is that what you think of me?” Kakashi leans away from Sasuke. His tone is infuriatingly calm and steady and quiet, but there is a flash of pain in his eyes he can’t hide. That somehow manages to make Sasuke feel guilty, and that in turn fuels his fire even more. 

“I don’t know what to think! I haven’t heard anything from you since we – _since the Snow_ , and now this!” Sasuke hisses back. “How come the Council lets you do the sealing? Didn’t they want somebody not biased? Did you forget to tell them that we _slept together?_ ”

Kakashi seems just so tired when he looks at Sasuke, tired and tense and drained, and Sasuke wastes a second to wondering if there’s something going that he doesn’t know about. But that doesn’t prevent him for getting angry at Kakashi.

“Or did you take Danzou’s side in this? Is that what this is? In that case you can go fuck yourself.”

Sasuke turns away, his back to Kakashi, and curls around himself the best he can with his hands chained together. This is the man he trusted during the most vulnerable moment of his life. What an asshole.

Kakashi remains silent for a while, and Sasuke’s harsh words echo in the barren room. Sasuke almost expects him to just stand up and walk out of the room, never to be heard of again.

“You were always quick to jump into conclusions, I should have expected this,” Kakashi sighs, and Sasuke can picture the disappointed look on his face, brows furrowed and his mouth tight behind the mask.

Sasuke really wants to turn around and punch the frown from Kakashi’s face to make him shut up, but before he gets the chance, Kakashi continues.

“Everything I have done during the last couple of months has been to protect you.”

Sasuke nearly flinches at the sincerity of Kakashi’s voice. It’s not often that he sounds so raw and open, and most of all, honest.

“Tsunade told me of your situation as soon as I came back from my mission – she knows that the Fourth, my jounin-sensei, taught me sealing. We both agreed that your only hope was to get me to do the seal. There aren’t many sealers left besides me – Konoha lost many when Pain attacked four years back – and they all are loyal to Danzou. We can’t risk them putting his new technique on you behind our backs.”

There is just a light touch of a hand against Sasuke’s shoulder. When he doesn’t bother to brush it away, the touch turns into a gentle pull and he finds himself facing Kakashi again.

“That’s why I had to stay away. I had to convince the Council that you didn’t mean anything to me – you’re just a snotty, ungrateful brat I used to look after for a few months almost ten years ago, why should I care about you now? As far as Konoha knows, we haven’t been in any contact ever since you left. If I had come to see you even once, they wouldn’t have believed it.”

Sasuke blinks at him. He should have thought of that.

“What about Naruto and Sakura?” he asks and tries to derail this conversation away from himself and his short temper.

“They are both very dear to me and I love them to death, but neither of them can keep a secret to save their life,” Kakashi chuckles heartily at him, his mismatched gaze returning to Sasuke’s. “And I had to spent weeks on preparing this seal, there was no time left for them.”

How do you apologize to someone for accusing them of betraying you and sleeping with you just to get what they want?

“I will have to continue to keep this façade up,” Kakashi says. “Since I can also release the seal, the Council doesn’t want me to have anything to do with you after this is done.” 

With that declaration hanging in the air, he stands up again and produces a brush and a bottle of ink from his pocket.

”We should get started before somebody comes to check on us. Take your shirt off.”

Sasuke’s brain decides to take that precise moment to go haywire. He gets stuck on a memory of the two of them, bodies pressed together, a hot mouth against his neck and warm hands travelling over his stomach, tugging up his shirt that smells like Kakashi and –

”Sasuke? I can't draw the seals on your shirt, the ink has to be on skin.”

Sasuke blinks. Blinks again, shakes his head and pointedly keeps his eyes off Kakashi standing in front of him. He realises that he has been staring – for quite a long time at that – and quickly hides his face behinds his bangs. With his face burning he removes his shirt, a scratchy thing he would be glad to get rid of in any other situation.

Sasuke looks anywhere but at Kakashi when he kneels down next to Sasuke.

The ink feels cold against his skin. Kakashi starts from Sasuke's chest, right over his heart. Then he moves slowly out from there, drawing curves and lines on the pale body, concentrating on every delicate stroke. Each movement of the brush is precise and strong and steady. Kakashi’s breath feels hot against Sasuke's neck when he leans in close to see what he is doing as he works on Sasuke’s collarbones. Every now and then he places a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder or chest to balance himself, and Sasuke has a hard time concentrating on anything else when the touch burns him.

”So you came back,” Kakashi suddenly wonders out loud, crouched down to draw over Sasuke’s ribs on his left side, surprising Sasuke out of his thoughts. ”Ready to admit that I was right?”

“About what?”

“That some things should be approached with caution and planning, not with mindless slaughter?”

Sasuke hums noncommittally at him, too focused on the fingers accidentally brushing against his side to answer logically.

”I’m assuming that your surrender is a part of some grander revenge plan of yours,” Kakashi adds, his voice light as if he was talking about the weather, not murdering the councillor of his village. He takes a quick look at Sasuke between two brush strokes and Sasuke smirks at him as an answer.

As Sasuke watches Kakashi’s hands dance over his lower stomach, he wonders if he is the only one plagued by the memory of them sleeping together, or if Kakashi too has a hard time keeping his thoughts in check. Judging by the steadiness of Kakashi’s hands and the fact that his eyes never seem to stray from the inked seals, it wouldn’t seem so. Sasuke refuses to be disappointed about that.

When Kakashi is finished, he rocks himself back up to his feet and casts a critical eye to his handiwork. There are black lines and curves embracing Sasuke’s entire body, similar to his old curse mark and still so different. Sasuke lifts his arm and studies the patterns on it. Most of the swirls end on his hand, turning the skin almost black on his wrist. A few runs over his palm and curl around his fingers. The seals continue over his chest, abdomen and down his legs. A few have risen along his neck, their ends almost hiding under his hair. Only his face has been left untouched.

“I think we are done,” Kakashi says, his voice light, but his eyes are sad when Sasuke turns from studying his body to meet Kakashi’s gaze. “Now I just have to activate the seal.”

Sasuke makes a move to stand up too, but Kakashi steps in.

“It will be better if you’re sitting down for this,” he instructs. Sasuke lands back on the floor and waits for the inevitable.

“It’s not permanent, is it?” he asks and tries not to show how much the thought throws him off.

“No, it’s not,” Kakashi answer and flashes a genuine smile at Sasuke for a change. “That’s why I’m here.”

He crouches down again and waits till Sasuke nods at him.

“I’m starting now,” Kakashi says and begins a series of complicated hand signs. Sasuke can almost taste the chakra in the air.

Kakashi presses his hand over Sasuke’s heart.

Sasuke is surprised how modest the jutsu ends up being. There are no flashes of light, nor screaming or fainting. Instead he feels slightly cold, possibly a little light-headed, but that is all.

“Is that it?” Sasuke asks Kakashi, because this feels a bit odd.

“The releasing part is far worse,” Kakashi answers, and Sasuke doesn’t know if that was supposed to reassuring or not. But how bad can releasing his chakra be if the sealing part didn’t feel like anything? If Sasuke wasn’t sure that Kakashi knows what he is doing, he would have thought that the jutsu didn’t work.

That is until he glances down at his arm.

The seals are moving on their own under his skin, gently swaying, curling, dancing on his skin, and if that isn’t creepy, he doesn’t know what is.

To his utter embarrassment Sasuke makes a surprised noise he could describe as a squeak.

“Those will fade over time,” Kakashi chuckles at him, moving to remove the now useless cuffs from Sasuke’s wrists. “The lines will show only if you try to use your chakra.”

Then Kakashi dashes forward to catch him as Sasuke suddenly loses all his energy and almost falls down on his back. Kakashi wraps an around his waist and places Sasuke’s arm on his own shoulders as he steadies him up.

“Easy now.”

It seems that the full effect of the jutsu comes over time, because Sasuke is starting to feel like shit only now. He can't feel his chakra at all and he is cold. Very cold. His head is suddenly spinning and he ponders if burning the whole village to the ground would still have been a better idea than to voluntary go through this.

“We should probably get you back to your cell,” Kakashi says quietly to his ear. After Sasuke’s tight nod Kakashi helps him up and walks him to his cell, not bothering to let the guards do it. While still lightheaded, Sasuke refuses the steadying hand Kakashi offers him, but doesn’t stop Kakashi from shadowing him all the way through the building with a slightly worried look on his face.

When they get back to the cell, Sasuke is painstakingly aware of how dingy and creaking the cot is, and that the shirt he tugs back on has been used at least for a few days in row.

“I could ask Naruto to bring you some clothes,” Kakashi suggests when Sasuke slumps down on the bed. Sasuke nods his thanks at him, and after assuring his former teacher that he is going to be alright, Kakashi leaves him.

Sasuke leans his head against the wall behind him and lets his back and shoulders slump. Curling his arms around his legs, he closes his eyes. The wall is cold against his back and the cot is uncomfortable.

Sasuke misses his brother.

 

o0o

 

_June, the fourth year of peace  
Konoha, the Land of Fire_

A life without chakra is a new experience for Sasuke. Though he has had chakra cuffs hanging from his wrists far too many times for his liking, the complete cut-off from his powers is nothing like he could have imagined. The awful feeling of weakness and his slowing reflexes are something he was preparing himself for, but the bone deep coldness surprises him. He is so tired that for the first days after the sealing he sleeps around the clock to keep the sick feeling away. But eventually, he starts to adjust, and he is able to return to his normal alertness, glaring at the guards when there isn’t anything else to do, though the feeling of wrongness never goes away entirely.

Apart from the sealing, his case doesn’t seem to move on at all. The interrogations do continue, but now that there has been talk about reopening the investigation of the Uchiha massacre, the questions start to focus on where Sasuke got the idea that the village is responsible for the demise of one of its founding clans. It doesn’t feel like a good idea to say that he was told the truth by a masked man that claimed to be his ancestor from half a century ago.

His vague lies aren’t enough for the ninjas of the intelligence department, and Sasuke guesses that they think he is mad – he did accuse the village of the murders that his own brother undoubtedly committed. Itachi was reported to have acted strange – if not crazy – before he went rampant on the Uchihas, that is what they say, so it is not that far off to think that his little brother is the same. Sasuke doesn’t bother trying to change their minds.

With the interrogations going nowhere, the wheels of Konoha’s justice system appear to have lost him somewhere among the red tape and infinite amount of paperwork. Dull weeks pass by and June turns slowly towards July.

 

o0o

 

_The 5th of July, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

Sasuke hears the sound of shuffling feet first, and then Naruto's excited babbling. He opens his eyes, stares at the ceiling for a second and wrinkles his nose at the thought of getting up before he defeatedly props himself up on his elbows and turns his head to look at the door. He squints his eyes and soon finds the whole Team 7 on the other side of the cell bars.

Without any hurry, Sasuke gets up and drags himself to the door. Despite all his crankiness towards these three idiots, he has missed them, as he realized a long ago in the dark cellars of Orochimaru's hideout. Midst his long years away from Konoha, there were times when he would curl up under the covers of his bed in the middle of night and miss his makeshift family terribly.

During those lonely hours Sasuke would always think that leaving the village had been the stupidest decision he had made in his life and that he should just walk out of the dark hideout and drag himself back to his old life. But every morning he would push those thoughts out of his mind and focus on what really mattered – obtaining power. He was a traitor to Konoha and had a brother to kill. And no matter how much Sasuke wanted to return home in the darkest hours of night, no matter how adamant Naruto was about dragging his ass back to the village, it would never be as simple as just walking through the village gates and picking up the pieces of his old self.

Sasuke had known even then that his return to Konoha would be – and now he has found out that it really is –  full of holding cells and chakra seals and interrogations. And all of this with no guarantee that he will come alive out of this mess.

So Sasuke let Team 7 go.

And now he has got another chance with them.

”Why are you here?” he asks and keeps the usual cold tone out of his voice.

”I'm allowed to come to see my best friend, right?” Naruto answers for all of them and grins brilliantly at the end of his statement.

Sasuke curls his fingers around the cold bars. Naruto's hands feel warm around his own when Naruto promptly clasps his fingers over Sasuke's, his expressive eyes twinkling. Right now, when it seems that Sasuke can get at least one of the things he has ever wanted in his life – his second family back – he doesn't even mind the bold touch.

He nods at Sakura, his lips curling into a careful smile, because she is maybe the closest thing he has ever had to a sister – and he sincerely hopes she will sooner or later realise that is all she will ever be to him.

Then he turns to meet Kakashi’s heavy-lidded gaze with his own. His relationship with this man is so complicated at this point of his life that he doesn't know where to start unwinding it. Kakashi has seen him in at his lowest, completely out of his mind and on hunt for blood, and still for some reason he sticks around just as adamantly as Naruto and Sakura do.

Right now Sasuke doesn’t understand how he survived six years without them.

His thoughts are interrupted by Naruto's voice as he invites Sakura closer and pulls Sasuke forward so that the three of them are standing in a circle, their heads together, only separated by the cell bars.

”We need to get you out of here,” Naruto states, meeting their eyes with a steady, determined gaze.

”We need the whole Team 7 to save the village,” Sakura puts in, and at this point Sasuke gets confused. He takes a questioning look at her, but it's Naruto who jumps into an explanation.

”Danzou's planning something. He has been at odds with Tsunade-bachan for who knows how long, but now he is really trying to win over the Hokage title. He has got more and more nervous after your trial, because some of the clan heads seem to believe the things you said.”

”He has to act fast if he wants to take the Hokage seat, because if we can prove that what you said about your brother is true, there is no way he can become Hokage after that. That’s why he wants you executed as soon as possible. So, we need either to get you out before he takes over, or prove that he organized the Uchiha massacre,” Sakura continues.

”So how do you propose we get me out of here? Danzou’s going to stall my case as much as he can, and at this rate I’ll be here for years. And it's no use to escape when I need the village to be on my side,” Sasuke blurts. He isn't even surprised when the two have answers at the ready.

”We need to prove that you were right. About Itachi and... And how there is something wrong with the whole system. Konoha owes us and not the other way around, isn’t that what you said?” Naruto claims with a triumphant smile. “You know, while we’re at it, we could change the orphanage system too. Or let’s dream big, let’s change the whole shinobi system.”

”And how do we do that? Prove that he is behind everything?” Sasuke asks, still sceptical even though he wants to believe in his team.

Kakashi interrupts them and steps in between Naruto and Sakura.

”There has to be something on paper about Itachi's orders. If I had been him during the time of the massacre, I would have wanted a written contract of the deal they made about keeping you safe. I could try to see if I can get those from the archives.”

The glint in his eyes says that it means stealing them.

“Or then I’ll break into Danzou’s house, it would seem more likely for him to hide those documents there.”

“That sounds good, but how come you are here? Weren’t you supposed to stay away?” Sasuke asks.

“Of course I’m not officially here. As far as the story goes, I’m having lunch with Gai right this moment. My clone’s having great time, I imagine,” Kakashi grins back. “Your teammates insisted that I’d sneak in here today.”

“Duh, Sensei, this an official Team 7 meeting, of course you have to be here!” Naruto whines so loudly that Sakura has to hush him before he alerts the guards. That results in a skirmish between the two, with Kakashi caught in the middle between them. He rolls his eyes at Sasuke who snorts at the whole scene. It’s obvious that Kakashi has taken time to hunt down both Sakura and Naruto before they came here and let them know of what is going on, as the old dysfunctional dynamic of Team 7 has made a return.

“So what’s the plan then?” Sasuke sighs and gives in.

”We'll get you out and save Konoha!” Naruto cheers, waving his hands and almost manages to accidentally hit Kakashi in the process.

“That’s not a plan, you moron! That’s the goal.”

“Shut up, teme, we’re working on it.”

Even though Sasuke still sneers at the thought of saving the village that got his brother killed, he will do it for his new family, the one standing here in front of his cell. Guess his one-man suicide mission for revenge has turned into a quest of saving the village from a potential tyrant.

And if he can avenge Itachi by killing Danzou, all the better. He is hitting two birds with one stone.

Just like that they shift back to the old times – Naruto starts gossiping about the genin team he has got himself to teach, and Sakura promptly fishes Sasuke's wrist from behind the bars and starts examining him for any injuries, all the while lecturing about the dangers of malnutrition and chakra-loss. Sasuke tunes out half of the blond's babbling and reluctantly lets Sakura prod him because why not.

Kakashi leans against the wall on their right, one hip up and a book in his hand. Sasuke catches him stealing carefully hopeful looks at the three of them every now and then, and the one time their eyes meet, Sasuke almost smiles back at him.

He has missed them.


	7. Approaching Thunder

 

_July, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_

Summer warms up the heavy stone prison. It has been nearly three months since Sasuke returned to Konoha, and by now he has given up on the hope of ever getting released. The Council, consisting of all the clan heads, the Elders and Danzou, are divided into two when it comes to his case, and it seems that their way of dealing with such a wedge among them is to simply avoid thinking about it altogether. No decisions have been made about Sasuke’s future, and it appears to suit Danzou just fine – as long as Sasuke is tightly locked up behind bars, and the public thinks him to be as mad as his late brother, there is nothing to worry about. Sasuke is out of the Council members’ sight, stuck in a cell deep underground, and so out of their minds. Convenient for them, not so much for him.

But despite how unlikely his release seems now, it is apparent that his outburst at his trial wasn’t entirely in vain. If the Council is so torn in two, it means that some of the clan heads have seriously started to question the truth behind the Uchiha massacre. Some of the more peaceful clans and most of the higher-ranking jounins have always been against Danzou and his ambition of rising to power – and now Sasuke has given them a weapon to use against the old councillor. Naturally, nobody has managed to prove anything yet, nor has it come to the knowledge of Team 7 that anybody would have stood up against Danzou publicly, apart from Tsunade.

But the seed of doubt has been sowed, and it’s only a matter of time when something happens. There are tensions building up in Konoha, and just like the Council, the village is slowly splitting into two – to those who defend Danzou and his harsher way of leading Konoha, and to those siding with Tsunade who is openly fighting for Sasuke and his clan.

Sasuke knows that Tsuande might not be doing it for his sake, but they are playing for the same goal, and right now that is enough for him.

His old teammates are the only way of hearing any news of the growing conflict between the old councillor and the Fifth Hokage. Naruto and Sakura keep coming to see Sasuke whenever they have the chance. They appear meticulously behind the cell bars nearly every day, their hands full of official documents and newspaper articles from the time of the Uchiha massacre – Sasuke guesses they keep stealing them from the library and the village archives. Together the three of them go through each and every one of texts, looking for any clues that might prove that something about that night twelve years ago was off. Most of the time they end up sitting in a circle, all the papers scattered on the floor around them on both sides of the bars, old ink staining their fingers.

Somehow it escalates from there, and soon they are going through other documents snatched from the archives, reading files describing the poor way the war orphans of the village are left all alone, studying the fragile relationships between the village leaders and the ancient clans – the Hyuugas and the Uchihas weren’t the only ones with hushed up problems – and skimming through statistics that tell them that the age when children graduate from the academy is getting younger and younger every year.

Naruto reads though the documents with a sullen look on his face. He bites his lips and tugs his hair whenever he encounters a word too complicated for him, asking either Sasuke or Sakura to explain it to him. They don’t have to spend that many evenings like that before Naruto announces that he is going to change things when he becomes Hokage. That might the first time neither of his teammates rolls their eyes at this particular declaration of his.

Kakashi hasn’t come to see Sasuke since the whole Team 7 visited him together. He is still trying to make the Council believe that he hasn’t thought of Sasuke since the boy left the village, and that means that he makes sure nobody sees him anywhere near the prison. Though he is well capable of sneaking into the heavily-guarded building without getting caught, the whole team agrees it is better not to risk it. Their plan of busting Sasuke out of the prison depends wholly on the fact that Kakashi can and will release the seal and Sasuke’s chakra when the time comes – and that doesn’t work if the Council suspects him of lying and decides to remove Sasuke’s seal and make somebody loyal to them cast another one on him.

Sasuke’s own, not that well-thought-out plan of coming back to Konoha has escalated into something else entirely. The original thought had been to surrender himself, get a pardon with the help of his old team – especially with Naruto the Hero backing him up – reveal the truth about his brother, improvise a little and then preferably kill the man responsible for the Uchiha massacre. Sasuke hadn’t been expecting that he would end up messing with the internal affairs of the village and being turned into a mere tool in a fight between two competing politicians.

 

o0o

 

_The 23rd of July, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

Sasuke, with nothing else to do than to sleep or train the little he can without chakra, is lying on the cot on his back when Kakashi appears into the hallway leading to his cell.

The summer heat makes the whole prison compartment uncomfortably hot and humid, and Sasuke's sweaty hair sticks to his skin. He turns his head to look at Kakashi and blinks lazily at the sight in front of him – his former teacher is, surprisingly, in his ANBU uniform instead of the usual standard jounin gear. Sasuke has never seen him in white inside Konoha's borders.

Kakashi removes the wolf mask from his face and raises his hand into a laidback greeting. Sasuke sits upright on the cot and straightens the ruffled shirt Naruto borrowed him – it's _orange_ and he makes faces at it when he is bored. He is even more surprised when Kakashi fishes a key from his pocket, and after a few seconds of fighting with the lock, opens the cell door.

”What are you doing?” Sasuke hisses and almost falls off his bed, all the while struggling to keep his voice down. There are guards stationed throughout the whole building and Kakashi just _walked into his cell_.

”I’m taking precautions,” Kakashi smirks, his voice lowered to whisper, and closes the door behind his back.

”That doesn't answer anything,” Sasuke snaps back, but makes room for him on his cot when Kakashi shoos him to the side and sits down next to him. The cot screeches under their combined weight, and Sasuke is slightly alarmed that the sorry contraption is going to give in and fall apart. He is going to murder Kakashi if he breaks the only remotely comfortable thing Sasuke has in his cell.

“I went to the secluded section of the archives,” Kakashi starts while his gaze gravitates to the hallway to keep an eye out for the guards. “There was nothing there about Itachi that I could find. I was kind of expecting that, considering what a risk a document like that would be for the reputation of the village.”

“And?”

“Then I went to pay a little visit to our dear friend Danzou, and it turns out that he has a remarkable stock of interesting papers in his house. I was kind enough to relieve him of some of them,” Kakashi whispers and hands a file to Sasuke. ”I thought you might want to see this.”

Sasuke grabs the file like his life depends on it – and in a way it does. He flips the case open and finds his older brother staring back at him from the front page. Sasuke blinks at the picture, and a paralyzing cold feeling blooms in the pit of his stomach at the sight of Itachi. But he doesn’t have time for mourning now. Sasuke brushes off the shock and sadness for now and tries to concentrate on the text.

It's only after maybe the third page or so that he realises that Kakashi is reading the file over his shoulder.

”I didn't exactly have the time to read it before I came here,” Kakashi answers when Sasuke throws a questioning look at him. ”Turn the page.”

It takes them a while to go through the whole file. When Sasuke is finished with it, he feels hollow. There it finally is, in black and white, that Konoha ordered Itachi to kill his whole clan with the only exception of his little brother. There are pages full of terms and mission details, standard enlisting forms filled with Itachi’s personal information – his handwriting was sleek and clean already at thirteen – accurate maps of the Uchiha district, a comprehensive list of all the villagers with the name Uchiha, the Third Hokage’s agreement to turn a blind eye to all of this, and – most importantly – Danzou’s signature.

Sasuke is holding all the evidence he needs to prove that the councillor was behind everything

It is a relief to finally have concrete proof. Up until now, Sasuke’s only source of the truth has been a masked man he met just hours after defeating his brother – and then he managed to accidentally kill the stranger too. There was no one else left to confirm the truth.

But now Sasuke knows that he hasn’t lost his mind.

Kakashi gently pries the file from his fingers.

”I need to take this to Tsunade. I don’t know if we can use it as evidence since I stole it, but I’ll have her take a look at it anyway,” he says and watches Sasuke for any reaction. His silver brows furrow in concern. ”Sasuke?”

Sasuke hums back, lost in thought. He crosses his legs in front of him and leans his chin on his hands, eyes wandering to the wary look on Kakashi’s face.

“There is something else besides this, isn’t there?”

Kakashi sighs and turns his gaze away, avoiding Sasuke’s eyes, and brings a gloved hand up to scratch the back of his head.

“There is, and you are not going to like it.”

“Tell me.”

“There were these letters – I found them by accident –” Kakashi starts, not even glancing at Sasuke, his voice tight and awkward. He is stalling and that is unusual in itself.

Kakashi takes a deep breath and covers his eyes with his hands.

“Konoha has been corresponding with Orochimaru for years. There have been many deals between him and the village over the years, especially since the Third died.”

“What deals?” Sasuke leans in closer, his angry voice raising dangerously, but at this point he wouldn’t care even if a squadron of ANBUs walked in on them.

“The village would give something to Orochimaru, jutsus, resources... Shinobis in exchange for him leaving Konoha alone.”

“What are you trying to say?”

Kakashi looks so tired and ashamed when he finally meets Sasuke’s eyes with his own. There are new lines on his face that weren’t there when they met last.

“I didn’t have time to go through all the letters, but I suspect that you were part of one of those deals. That six years ago, Konoha deliberately let you go to warrant a peace treaty with the Sound.”

How much lower can Konoha fall? Sasuke doesn’t want to believe that the village his brother and Naruto love so much could use a thirteen-year-old as a bargaining chip, but it is getting harder every second not to.

“Now I understand why only a bunch of genins were sent after me,” Sasuke answers flatly, and then laughs at the whole thing, an ugly rough sound. What a mess of a village.

Kakashi has never looked this old and exhausted.

“The day you left, Tsunade tried to send me on another mission instead of letting me go after you. She insisted. As if you hadn’t just left to join a sworn enemy of the village,” he admits, getting more and more morose as his theory starts to seem more believable every second. “I don’t know what her part in this is, maybe she was pressured into it – “

“Maybe she is helping me now because she’s feeling guilty for _sacrificing a child for her village’s safety_!” Sasuke hisses back, not really angry at Kakashi but the whole world in general.

“I don’t know, Sasuke. I honestly don’t know.”

Sasuke presses his palms against his eyes, colours twinkling behind his eyelids, and flops down on his back on the bed. “I hate this village. I hate the system. I hate everything.”

He lies there for a while, eyes closed, concentrating on taking deep, even breaths through his nose. Kakashi doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move from his spot near Sasuke’s knees. It is hard to realise how fucked up the whole shinobi system is and how things like these get brushed under the mat even when you couldn’t care less about your village. Sasuke can’t quite imagine what it is like for Kakashi who seems to live for Konoha.

Sasuke opens his eyes and peeks through his fingers at Kakashi. His former teacher, dressed in his white uniform, is sitting there in Sasuke’s cell with his back slumped and long legs stretched out in front of him.

”Why are you here?” Sasuke asks, only muttering to himself, but he repeats the question louder and waves his hand to indicate the cot they are on when Kakashi throws a questioning look at him. ”You could have just handed me the file from the other side of the bars.”

”I needed to steal a key in case something goes wrong and we need to bust you out,” Kakashi says offhandedly and glances again towards the hallway, suddenly aware of the possibility of a guard coming to check up on Sasuke. ”I thought I might just as well use it and make sure it works.”

”And why the uniform?”

”It's infinitely easier to steal something from the archives when you are pretending to be guarding the place,” Kakashi smirks at him and with that comment he returns to his own sarcastic self Sasuke is better used to.

There’s one fine white hair stuck to Kakashi’s eyelashes, and it catches Sasuke’s attention far more than it should. Sasuke tries to mask how much he wants to reach over and brush the wayward hair away from Kakashi’s face by emptily snickering at his answer and tangling his fingers in the hem of his cast-off shirt to keep his hands from wandering. He sways his knees towards the wall and away from the danger of accidentally brushing against Kakashi’s back.

After the uncomfortable realisation that he hasn’t still got the man out of his head, Sasuke takes the easiest way out and changes the subject.

”Do you think you could find me clothes that aren't orange?”

Kakashi snorts.

”We'll see.”

Then he takes a map from his pocket, unfolds it and places it on the mattress between them.

”More precautions?” Sasuke asks and shifts himself back up to a sitting position, folding his legs under himself.

”Indeed,” Kakashi laughs and traces random lines on the map with his long fingers. ”We had to rebuild almost half the village after Pain's attack and the new, unfamiliar layout could mean problems for you, should anything happen.”

They spend a good while studying the map, Kakashi pointing things out for him and Sasuke trying to memorise everything. With no chakra, he has no sharingan to imprint the picture into his mind, and manually studying little details like these is slower than he remembered.

Sasuke doesn’t know what to think when he finds out that the Uchiha district has remained practically unharmed and intact after all this year. Still abandoned and haunted by his clan’s ghosts, but there.

When he has successfully explained the fastest way to the apartments of his every teammate for the fifth time and pointed out the safest routes out of the village on the map, Kakashi seems satisfied with their process and tucks the map under his arm along with the evidence file. He stands up, ready to leave, but then almost immediately sits back down again.

”Let me see the seal,” he says and extends a hand to Sasuke's collarbone. Sasuke tugs his shirt off without further prompting.

Kakashi's hand feels warm against Sasuke’s chest. He releases a tiny pulse of his chakra to the seal and the swirls and curls bloom into life, dancing over Sasuke’s entire body. Kakashi leans forward to examine the pattern and especially the main seal that keeps the whole thing together, resting over Sasuke’s heart.

”Has it had any side effects?”

”Not that I know of.”

Kakashi hums back and without any warning lets another, much stronger pulse of chakra running through the seal. An uncomfortable warmth flashes through Sasuke, a feeling so unpleasant he is on the verge of describing it as pain.

Sasuke thinks that the question ”What are you doing _?_ ” is becoming too frequent between the two of them. Then he feels a faint whisper of his own chakra beating in synch with his heartbeat, and when he looks up at Kakashi with a scandalized look, the man is coloured in red and black.

He has enough chakra the activate the sharingan _._

”Precautions,” Kakashi smiles at him with his eyes closed. ”I can't release all of it right now, there is no way the guards wouldn't notice that, but this is better than nothing. It should be enough for activating the sharingan for a couple of minutes at times, but I don’t recommend trying anything else. Please don't get caught or I’m going to be the one getting executed.”

”Are things really that bad that you would do _this_?” Sasuke asks and deactivates the sharingan.

”You are just a disposable tool to Danzou in his fight against Tsunade. A tool that resists quite strongly and has caused an uprising against him and his way of leading the village. The point is that we have Danzou cornered, but that in turn makes him unpredictable. You are dangerous now that you know the truth about Itachi. He might just as well try to take you down with him.”

Kakashi sighs and runs a hand through his light hair.

”We don't want to lose you now that we finally got you back. So, precautions.”

Sasuke blinks, the sentiment catching him by surprise, and tugs the shirt back on while trying to hide how glad it makes him to know that he has somebody to cover his back.

“What have you guys been doing to make Danzou so nervous?”

“Maa, you know how vocal Naruto can be when he wants to. Now it’s impossible to get him to shut up about the lack of orphanages in all the major ninja villages. And about what happened to Itachi. Turns out that because he is the hero who defeated Pain, people actually listen to him. I think he has dragged the Kazekage into speaking about this –

“The Kazekage?”

“Gaara. You remember the scary kid with red hair from the chuunin exams? Naruto is bothering all the Kages, trying to gather allies to make contracts with the other villages, and of course he has Tsunade’s full support, so that pisses Danzou off.”

Kakashi stops to think for a second, a hand forgotten on his chin.

“And then there is Sakura. She tries to attack the discrimination point from another angle. Because she is a young girl born to civilian parents with no clan, people don’t bother to take her seriously, and now she wants to change that. She’s trying to work around prejudices the villagers have against certain groups, like old, secluded clans or clanless people like herself. She is very good at lobbying – I think she ambushes people at the hospital,” Kakashi grins at Sasuke.

“And what about you?”  Sasuke smirks back, almost thinking of poking Kakashi to his side, but not quite having to courage for the physical contact.

“Me? Nothing exciting about me. I just steal stuff from people, that’s all,” Kakashi smiles and theatrically bats his eyelashes at Sasuke who can’t quite keep the grin out of his face. “No, but seriously, with the way things are heating up in Konoha right now, I would almost prefer sitting here in this quiet, calm cell for a change.”

“No, you wouldn’t, trust me,” Sasuke snorts at him when Kakashi stands up and heads towards the door.

“Maybe so,” Kakashi answers and steps out of the cell. He locks the door and raises his eyes to look at Sasuke again. “You know, it’s good to have you back.”

Sasuke doesn’t know how to answer to that, so he shrugs instead.

“I guess so.”

Kakashi shakes his head slightly at him and raises his ANBU mask to put it back on his face. Just before Kakashi turns to walk away, he winks at Sasuke with his glowing sharingan.

“Oh, I almost forgot. Happy birthday!”

 

o0o

 

_The 6th of August, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

It’s during one of those cool mornings when it’s difficult to even get out of bed when Danzou himself shows up on the other side of Sasuke’s cell door. Sasuke, still foggy from sleep, and safely tucked under the covers, is not prepared for the sight of his sworn enemy standing just a dozen feet away. He flinches, sits up while making sure not to hide behind the blankets like a child, and scowls at Danzou.

“What do you want?” Sasuke hisses.

“I am trying to grasp what is so great about you that Itachi thought that you were worth more than his entire clan,” Danzou answers with a disgusted look on his wrinkly face. “I find it hard to fathom his reasoning.”

“If you came here just to insult me, you might just as well fuck off,” Sasuke growls and stands up. The floor is cold against his bare feet and it makes him feel infuriatingly childish that the old councillor caught him straight out of the bed. He is painfully aware of the shirt borrowed from Naruto hanging loosely on him, and of his toes peeking from under the hems of his too long, prison issued trousers.

“And such language. I don’t understand what your brother saw in you. Or why the Nine-Tails thinks you are worth saving.”

“Naruto is not the Nine-Tails!” Sasuke snaps and comes up to stand in front of Danzou. To Sasuke’s annoyance, Danzou is an inch taller than him and the old man milks all the authority he can get from looking down at Sasuke. It’s all the more aggravating when Danzou brushes Sasuke off like he didn’t say anything.

"I suggest that you stop whatever madness it is that you are conducting, and leave this village alone – “

“That’s a bit hard to manage from here,” Sasuke mocks and makes a show of slamming his fists against the bars just in front of Danzou’s face. The old councillor looks down his nose at Sasuke and continues his preaching.

“You are turning the people of Konoha against each other. These psychotic lies of yours are rotting the minds of innocent people and I will not stand and watch as you destroy this village!”

“Nothing would make me happier than to see Konoha in ruins!”

Danzou answers with equal ferocity, his face so crunched up with anger that it’s almost unrecognizable:

“I will make sure that you either die rotting in this cell or are executed as the filthy traitor you are. And I guarantee that when you are gone, nobody will remember the Uchiha as nothing but arrogant, blood-thirsty monsters they were.”

"You son of a – ” Sasuke starts, so angry he feels he can’t breathe.

But then a thought strikes him, and he leans in even closer, so uncomfortably close he can smell the old man’s reeking breath.

“You are _scared_ ,” Sasuke whispers with a malicious grin on his face. The grin gets only wider when he spots an alarmed expression flash on Danzou’s face. “That’s why you are here. You are scared of your people. They are more eager to hear the truth than you thought, and now nobody likes you anymore.”

Sasuke doesn’t need the sharingan to be scary.

“You are going to lose everything – your position in the Council, your reputation – if the situation in the village escalates, and we both know it will. You are fighting a losing battle and now you have come to bully the one person that can’t run away from you – “

“Silence!”

"You might have people loyal to you, but not enough to beat the majority of the population who don’t want blood of children on their hands – “

“Shut your mouth, child!”

"Guess the villagers did care about us Uchihas after all. How does it feel like when the whole village blames you for a genocide?”

“You can’t prove anything!” Danzou’s voice cracks as he shouts at Sasuke, not in control of the situation anymore.

_Oh, how the tables have turned._ Sasuke grins. He is just out of bed, in his rumpled sleeping clothes, and still he manages to scare the councillor into nervous bursts of anger.

“There is no evidence!”

“We have all the evidence we need,” Sasuke answers back, enjoying the power he now holds over Danzou. “Now it’s only the matter of time before you are finished.”

Surprisingly, this doesn’t seem to shake Danzou.

“You mean those documents you had somebody steal from my home? You can’t use those as evidence in a trial, you didn’t acquire them through legal means.”

“We are shinobis, we steal and murder for our living. Who cares if the documents were stolen or not?”

“And that’s where you are wrong. As you have probably noticed, we are quite meticulous with our laws.”

“Hypocrites, all of you. All this talk about honour and abiding the law, when behind closed doors you sell children to keep your village alive and thriving.”

“How do you know about that?” Danzou hisses at him, his face turning white. He reaches through the bars, his hand like lightning as he grabs Sasuke’s wrist into his bony grip. “ _Who else knows?_ ”  

“You would like to know that, wouldn’t you? Shame that I don’t feel inclined to tell you anything,” Sasuke sneers and refuses to show any weakness. He doesn’t yank his hand out of Danzou’s death grip even though the touch of scratchy, papery skin against his own disgusts him.

“If you utter a word about that – if you even think of telling anybody about that, you can bid goodbye to the Nine-Tails and that clanless girl. Mark my words, you will lose everything you hold dear if a word about that deal gets out,” Danzou growls and jerks Sasuke towards himself, sending him clashing against the bars.

Sasuke seriously considers spitting at him.

“Don’t fucking touch them! Stay the fuck away from them or I’ll – “

“Or you will do what? Hiss at me from your cell? Curse me?” Danzou mocks him, the one visible eye dark as its gaze fixes on Sasuke. “I will have you and your little friends killed. And then this village will be mine.”

"No. You will lose this battle and I will be out of this prison sooner or later. And know that when I’m free, I will come after you and _I will kill you_ ,” Sasuke swears, meaning every single word. It takes every ounce of his self-control not let the sharingan bleed into his eyes – he can’t blow Kakashi’s cover now, there’s too much at risk.

“I would like to see you try, child,” Danzou taunts him and finally lets go of Sasuke’s wrist. He turns his back to Sasuke and leaves him alone in his cell.

When Sasuke is sure Danzou is gone, he lets himself grumble. His knees give out and he slumps down on the floor, his forehead resting against the bars. He grits his teeth and punches the stone floor. Danzou has already taken one family from Sasuke and now he threatened his second one.

Sasuke _will_ kill that man even if it’s the last thing he does.


	8. Bird of Prey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally something happens in this fic. And I'm sorry about that one scene - I'm weak, I couldn't resist ;)

_The 10th of August, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_

_0:32AM_

It is only a few hours after he fell asleep that Sasuke is jolted awake by the hurried sound of running footsteps. Still half-asleep and buried under the blankets, he squints at the sight of the empty corridor in front of his cell and tries to understand what is going on. Usually, all the prisoners are asleep at this hour of the night, and only a handful of guards bother to patrol in the hallways. But now there sounds of general unrest – muffled yells and people moving around the place – resonate through the building.

Any remaining traces of sleep leave Sasuke in seconds when Sakura appears behind the bars. Her eyes are hard and determined, and she has the key Kakashi stole a few weeks ago clutched in her hand. She wastes no time with explanations and just unceremoniously throws the door open, not caring the slightest about the deafening noise the door makes when it clangs against the bars. Sasuke can hear Naruto yelling down the hall, and then there is the deafening _crash_ he has grown to associate with a rasengan sending something – or someone – flying.

”We're getting you out now!” Sakura shouts, beckoning Sasuke to get up, and then she is glancing behind her back and then at him again. Sasuke jumps up from the cot. He doesn’t ask her what is going on – now it's not the time for questions. Whatever this is, it has to be bad. Yes, they have been planning his escape for months now, but it was supposed to a stealthy trick to get him out – Team 7 wasn’t supposed to march in with the whole prison compartment knowing that they have come.

Sasuke hasn’t the time to cherish the moment he finally leaves his cell behind him for good. Instead Sakura ushers him out with a great hurry, and then they are running. The pair of them rush towards Naruto's direction, and ultimately the exit, with Sakura in the lead. Sasuke has to jump over at least half a dozen unconscious shinobis lying on the floor on their way. Naruto and Sakura have gone all out when it comes to taking out the guards. How come they are not the least concerned about how this will affect their careers as ninjas of the Leaf?

With the little chakra he has – thanks to Kakashi loosening the seal – Sasuke lets the sharingan bleed into his eyes. Just like Kakashi warned him, the seal markings on his skin pulse into life along with a prickly feeling, colouring his whole arm with dark swirls. With a displeased frown Sasuke lifts his gaze back up, and in that second he manages to spot an ANBU coming towards them from an intersection. Sasuke is already opening his mouth to warn Sakura, but he finds out there is no need to.

It’s like there is a pink halo surrounding Sakura when she punches the guard in the face, the swift motion of her body making her hair flow in the air. The poor guard crashes through the nearest wall, cracking the surface of the stone as he goes. With a faint moan, he withers onto the floor, and Sakura steps over the unconscious shinobi like nothing out of ordinary happened. Sasuke has to consciously shut his mouth from hanging wide open – there is a newfound respect towards her blooming in him, and he sprints after her almost shyly, carefully leaping over Sakura’s unfortunate victim.

They almost barrel straight into Naruto when they turn around the corner and reach the control room of the lower level of the prison. He is studying his handiwork at the bottom of a staircase with his back to Sakura and Sasuke, his hands on his hips. He seems to have the situation under control – there are only paralyzed guards lying in heaps on the floor, while Naruto is standing in the middle of them, seemingly unharmed. There is a huge, self-satisfied grin on his face as he turns to meet his teammates.

”Ready to go?” he asks, shifting his weight anticipatingly from one foot to the other.

Sakura nods and they start running again. Sasuke, with such a deep, blind trust in them that it frightens him, follows after his old teammates.

”What is going on?” he shouts as they hurry through the corridors, trying to get a hang of the situation. It might still not be the right time for questions, but when is it really?

”A group of ANBU tried to assassinate Lady Fifth an hour ago. Her personal guard managed to get her to the hospital – she's badly injured, but she’ll survive,” Sakura answers with her shoulders stiff. “It's not that hard to guess who gave the order.”

”Danzou,” Sasuke hisses out loud the obvious. They all knew that it was only a matter of time before Danzou decided to do something about the situation – but organizing an assassination attempt against the leader of the village is just plain suicidal. On the other hand, Tsunade is not the first one Danzou has deemed fit to sacrifice for the “good” of the village, so they should probably have seen this coming.

”Then he accused Tsunade of treason and announced that since the Fifth is unfit for the job, he will act as Hokage for the time being.”

” _What?_ What treason? How can anybody believe– ?”

”He accused her of making deals with the Sound. That _she_ sold top secret information, recourses and shinobis like you to Orochimaru, her old teammate. Danzou framed her –  Kakashi-sensei said that Danzou must have had one of his own men take Orochimaru’s messages to her home. Then he just organized a raid and marched up there himself to _discover_ them. He is fabricating the truth and blaming Tsunade-shishou for his own crimes.”

“No,” Sasuke blurts out, mouth gaping open. “There is no way that is going to work.”

“But it already has,” Sakura spats out the words like they taste bitter. “Danzou didn’t have to do anything after that. The Council is in shambles – the clan heads are still torn between supporting Tsunade-shishou or Danzou, and can’t agree on anything – they are practically paralyzed. Tsunade-shishou can’t defend herself now, so there is nobody to stop the Elders from letting Danzou have the Hokage title. The evidence didn’t have to be good or believable, it just had to exist so the Elders could take over the Council and fire the Fifth while she’s in hospital.”

”So we needed to get you out right now before Danzou gets any funny ideas about ending you,” Naruto adds from Sasuke's right and sends a rasengan flying towards a surprised ANBU they stumble upon. ”And where the hell is Sensei? Wasn’t he supposed to meet us here?”

”He is chronically late, get used to that,” Sasuke mutters just as the tall figure of Kakashi comes into their sight.

”Are you guys alright?” he asks as their group reaches him.

”We're fine, let's go already!” Naruto exclaims, and then they are rushing forwards again. Kakashi with his sharingan takes the lead, Sakura and Sasuke are in the middle, and Naruto keeps an eye at their back. It takes only a few sharp turns and a staircase before they find themselves at the foyer of the building.

And naturally, it is full of guards.

Naruto, as always, blasts past Sasuke and dives into the battle without a second thought. He is a flame of light and a blur of rasengan as he goes, tearing the enemy lines apart. After a quick nod from Kakashi, Sakura dashes after him, just as dangerous as she goes with her fists raised into air.

Kakashi, probably the deadliest fighter of all the four of them, is left guarding Sasuke, who has barely enough chakra to keep his sharingan spinning. Kakashi steps in front of Sasuke and takes a cautionary look at him.

”Did they remember to give you a weapon?” he asks, but before Sasuke can answer, Kakashi already hands him a kunai, exasperated. ”Of course they didn't, what am I thinking.”

But Sasuke wouldn’t have needed that kunai, at least in this fight. His teammates take out the shinobis in white without a hitch, and the few ANBUs that manage to get past Naruto and Sakura have no chance against the infamous copy-nin of Konoha.

”Wouldn't this be easier if you released my chakra?” Sasuke asks Kakashi while his teammates tuck their weapons back into their pockets.

”We need to get away from here first,” Kakashi says. ”Then we can break your seal and arrange an attack against Danzou.”

”Where are we going then?” Sakura asks, shifting her gaze between the two of them as Naruto peeks his head out the door and examines the streets.

”The Uchiha district,” Kakashi answers and looks straight at Sasuke, as if asking for a permission of some sort. ”The compound has been left untouched for years and it’s scarcely guarded nowadays. It's basically a huge labyrinth of hiding spots. Naturally it's one of the places Danzou will surely be sending his men to look for us, but we do have an advantage on our side – only a few people really know the layout by heart. We have an Uchiha with us and they don't.”

It’s not a bad plan, Sasuke has to admit that, but the thought of going home still send shivers down his spine.

"If that’s alright with you,” Kakashi adds more quietly.

”It’s fine,” Sasuke sighs and that seems to be the sign that sends everyone moving. Naruto sticks his head out again, and after a few seconds signs them ”all clear”. Sakura runs up to him and together they disappear through the door.

Sasuke walks to the door and takes in the view of the courtyard of the building and behind it the supposedly sleeping village. The night is dark and calm, there is not a soul in sight – Danzou and his forces must be trying to see their plan through with as little commotion as possible, a peaceful transfer of power instead of a bloody revolution – no need to alert the villagers when all can be arranged behind closed doors. Nothing seems to be out of ordinary, and if Sasuke didn’t know better, he would have no idea that there have been both a coup and an attack against the Hokage’s life tonight. But when Danzou hears of Sasuke’s escape from the prison, the situation is bound to change.

Sasuke spots his teammates running and leaping over rooftops, just barely close enough to be seen with his sharingan. Then he realises that there is a practical problem in their escape plan.

”Are we going through the streets? I don't have chakra for – ” he asks and turns his head to look at Kakashi who has come to stand behind him.

”I'll carry you, it's faster,” Kakashi says as if this isn’t an issue at all.

”No,” Sasuke crosses his arms over his chest. For some reason he feels like a five-year-old when Kakashi looks down at him with a raised eyebrow, amused by his blunt refusal. ”Absolutely not.”

”And how else do you propose we do this then? Do you think Danzou's men will kindly wait until you have climbed up the building before they come after you?” Kakashi asks, his head tilted to side.

”No,” Sasuke growls. An uncomfortable warmth rises to his cheeks. ”I will not be fucking carried.”

“Could you stop acting like a child, we don't have time for this.”

Sasuke buries his face in his hands.

”Why does it have to be you?” he mumbles but doesn't resist when Kakashi grabs his hands and places them around his neck. Then Sasuke is lifted into the air and pressed against a warm chest, a pair of strong arms steadying him there.

”Would you prefer Naruto instead? Or Sakura? She would have no problem with carrying you around with that insane strength of hers,” Kakashi laughs in his ear. Sasuke hits him over the head – not too hard, Kakashi is evil enough to drop him if he doesn't behave.

”Shut up,” he mumbles against Kakashi's neck and tightens his hold on him when Kakashi jumps in the air.

It takes them only a minute or two to get to the Uchiha compound. Mercifully, Kakashi leaves a house or two between them and Naruto and Sakura when he lowers Sasuke down so their teammates don’t witness Sasuke’s humiliation of being carried. Kakashi waves the rest of their team to join them, and then it's time for Sasuke to take the lead. It might have been over half a decade since he last roamed around these streets, but Sasuke still remembers every corner and hiding place in the district like he was six again, hanging from his brother's arm, not having even the slightest care for the future and what it would bring.

There is only a light brush of a lonely wind howling between the empty houses as they stalk around the compound, looking for a safe place to stay. Sasuke catches no sight of any ANBU on the rooftops, and when he glances at Kakashi, his expression tells him it is not a good thing. Not a good thing for them or the village, Sasuke doesn't know.

He is determined to get their group off the streets, and so he takes them deeper into the district, far away from the centre of the village. After a few minutes of wandering around the most remote part of the Uchiha compound, Sasuke points out a house he vaguely remembers belonging to an elderly couple that used to greet him in the mornings when he ran past their home on his way to school.

The front door of the house opens with a screech. With his hand on the handle, Sasuke stops to listen for second.

Nothing.

He lets the others inside and when he steps in after them, he is immediately attacked by Sakura and her glowing hands. Sasuke wants to scream at her that this isn't really the time for a medical examination, but the glare she directs at him tells Sasuke she doesn’t want to hear it. Sasuke glances around at the two men for help, but they are both happy to let Sakura continue what she is doing.

Naruto drops the backpack he has been carrying with him on the unswept floor and sends years’ worth of dust flying in the air.

”So what now?” he asks and coughs, the dry air tickles his lungs. Kakashi pats him on the back and turns to address the other two.

”We are going to release Sasuke's chakra and get him out of the village. Then we can regroup with the others still loyal to Tsunade and – ”

”No! I'm not going anywhere –” Sasuke growls and steps forward into Kakashi’s personal space, Sakura and her check-up all forgotten.

Kakashi doesn’t bother to listen to anything he might have to say.

”Yes, you are. We aren't going to take any further risks after busting you out of that prison. Danzou has a grudge against you and  –”

”He's right _there!_ This might be the only chance to kill him! You know what this means to me. You can't stop me.”

”You won't go after him tonight, that's an order.” Kakashi doesn’t fall back an inch. He straightens his shoulders, and Sasuke is once again reminded how tall and scary the man can be when he wants to.

”You haven't had the right to order me for years. And what will you do to stop me from going after Danzou? Refuse to unseal my chakra? Well, I think that will also stop me from escaping the village so you're not obviously going to do that,” Sasuke crosses his hands over chest and raises his chin up. ”So, I think I win either way.”

Kakashi glares at him, mumbles something about irresponsible brats under his breath, and directs his next question at Sakura.

”Is he ready?”

”He's fine,” Sakura says, voice unusually shy, and walks to stand next to Naruto.

Kakashi runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

”I guess it's a change of plans then, if Sasuke has decided to be a pain and stay. We'll split up. Naruto and Sakura, go tail Danzou and try to come up with a plan to capture him. Find out how many men Danzou has, where his and our groups are and so on. I'll unseal Sasuke here and then we will come after you. Do not engage Danzou in an attack until we are there, understood?”

Sasuke's teammates nod, and after quickly checking their weapons, they disappear through the door.

Sasuke smirks smugly at his victory of getting his way, but the grin is soon wiped out of his face when he gets smacked on the back of his head. With a growl directed at Kakashi he sits down on the dusty floor.

”Take your shirt off,” Kakashi commands and walks to the windows to draw the curtains shut. They'll take any advantage they get, even if it's only a mouldy pair of old rags.

Sasuke throws his shirt on the backpack Naruto left at the door. The room is dark – even more so now with the closed curtains. Kakashi's white hair is a light spot in the darkness when he kneels down in front of Sasuke. Sasuke more hears than sees the hand signs Kakashi makes, and then there is a warm palm against his chest.

”This is going to hurt.”

Sasuke has only a second to think how distracting the hand is before there is a blinding flash of light. He can feel it when the black curves and swirls on his skin slowly retreat back to the original seal on his chest, like burning hot flames running in their paths. Sasuke wonders how ink can burn and _hurt_ that much, and doesn't even realise that he is falling backwards on the floor until Kakashi catches him and lowers him down on his back.

Then the ink curls reach the mark over his heart. His familiar chakra – something that has always relied on, something that has felt _safe_ – bursts free when the seal breaks, and it floods through his veins. It occurs to Sasuke only now how much chakra he has, when it comes rushing back to him all at once. It's a sensory overload and when Kakashi grabs his wrist – to comfort him, to keep him down, Sasuke doesn't know and doesn't care – the contact burns. He has the strength to whip his hand away from the touch, but that's it. He almost wishes he would just black out.

Finally, after what feels like hours, it ends and Sasuke finds himself as a shaking mess on the floor. He has no idea how long it took, but it must have been some time if Kakashi thought it necessary to split their group and sent the others to spy on Danzou beforehand.

Sasuke takes a deep breath and covers his eyes with his hands.

”How come the unsealing hurts so much more than the actual sealing?” he all but whines and doesn't even expect an answer.

Kakashi hums, a calm sound that doesn’t mean anything, and Sasuke hears him shift closer. He tries to open his eyes, but with his chakra running wild, the sharingan spins alive without his consent and makes his eyes burn. With a quick intake of breath, he scrunches his eyes back shut and resorts to just listening to the sounds of Kakashi moving.

”Let me see,” Kakashi says and Sasuke really doesn't know what he is referring to.

He gets his answer when  fingertips trace lines his chest.

”It's gone. Good,” Kakashi murmurs and examines Sasuke’s wrist next. ”Everything seems to be alright. How are you feeling?”

It takes Sasuke a few seconds of trying before he gets the ”Not good” out of his mouth.

”Why did you send our only medic away if you knew this was going to happen?” he asks wearily and tries opening his eyes again. This time he manages to do it without activating the sharingan, only to find that it doesn't really make any difference if his eyes are open or not in this pitch black darkness.

”You'll be just fine in few minutes, though your chakra control might be unpredictable for the rest of the night. That’s why I wanted you out of the village instead of going after Danzou,” Kakashi retorts and Sasuke finds his glowing eye looking straight back at him.

Sasuke’s head has stopped spinning and after a sigh he tries to get up. Surprisingly, his arms do support his weight when he pushes himself up into a sitting position.

”And how do you know that?” Sasuke asks and brushes dust from his hair.

”I have been a shinobi far longer than you have. I have been through stuff,” Kakashi answers as he stands up and walks to the window. He moves the sorry excuse for a curtain and peeks through the window. Moonlight falls on the dirty wooden floor in beams and Sasuke moves his arms up in front of his face to see them better. The seal patterns are gone, his skin is blank and pale in the cold light.

Slowly Sasuke gets up, mindful of Kakashi spying through the window. After a couple of wobbly steps, he finds his sense of balance and manages to drag himself to the backpack and the shirt he threw over it.

”There are more weapons for you in the bag,” Kakashi says in a low whisper and something in his voice alerts Sasuke.

”Are they here?”

Kakashi nods, just the tiniest of movements, and keeps his eyes to the window. ”There are at least a dozen ANBUs at the end of the street. We need to move. Are you ready?”

Sasuke pockets the kunais and shurikens he finds, swings the backpack on his back and nods curtly to Kakashi.

”Let's go.”

”Do you know if there's a back exit?”

”There should be,” Sasuke says and carefully activates his sharingan. His eyes tingle, but he can see the room as clearly as in daylight. He sneaks to the hallway, Kakashi following close behind him, and after ducking under a few spider webs he finds a door that leads to the back yard. He presses his hand to the door handle and gently presses it down. The door is not locked and Sasuke opens the door slowly, praying that it won't screech like the last one.

The hinges of the door remain silent, and they stumble outside. It's alarming how easy it is to see in the moonlight even though it’s the middle of the night. The easier it is for them to see where they are going, the easier it will be for the ANBUs to notice them.

”We have no chance if we go over rooftops, we will be spotted immediately. Especially when the patrol seems to be focusing this part of the village,” Kakashi whispers in Sasuke’s ear and presses a hand to his back. ”We have to go by the streets.”

”And where exactly are we going?” Sasuke hisses back at him, turning to look at Kakashi over his shoulder. ”And why did you think coming here would be a good idea?”

”They haven't found us yet, which means that so far my plan has been working. And we are going to the Hokage Tower.”

”To the other side of the village?”

”Don't whine. And move, they were coming this way.”

Kakashi gives him a firm push on his back and when Sasuke hears the ANBU patrol opening the screeching door on the other side of the house, he has no other option but to go. He sneaks along the wall of the house and peeks around the corner. The street is empty. After a quick signal at Kakashi, Sasuke gathers chakra in his legs and sprints across the street to hide behind another house. He moves forward when he hears Kakashi come after him, all the time listening for any sounds and unfamiliar chakra signatures.

It takes them a frustratingly long time to travel through the Uchiha district which isn't even that large in itself. But when they have to stick to the street level and watch out for the ANBUs at every corner, the relatively short distance to the border of the district takes them a painstaking amount of time. Once, Sasuke almost dashes to a street at the same time as an ANBU leaps over them from a roof to another. Luckily Kakashi manages to catch by his arm in time and pull him back to the safety of the shadows. Despite the fact that Sasuke is a trained shinobi and has faced enemies far more dangerous than an ANBU squad with the orders to capture – at least he hopes so – his heart is beating so loudly after that mishap that he half expects Kakashi to hear it.

Sasuke, born and raised in this part of the village, leads them away from the district gate that is surely guarded. Instead, he changes their course towards the little break in the outer wall he knows is a little bit to the east from the gate. Then they have to take a longer route after finding out that a couple of ANBU squads are raiding houses in the direction they were headed first. But finally, they get to the pathway without anybody noticing them.

The hole is so narrow that they only just fit through, crawling first through a jungle of bushes and then a tiny crack in the thick and heavy stone wall, trying to make themselves as small as possible. The hole is so well hidden that only a child playing around the village would ever stumble upon it – and that is exactly how Sasuke found this way outside, during those lazy days when his brother was busy with missions and the younger Uchiha heir was left to play all by himself.

The moon looms over the village. The roofs seem empty and the lights are on in the Hokage tower. Sasuke stops to look at the view when he waits for Kakashi to get up after squirming through their emergency exit. He may finally have his chance to avenge his brother and his clan.

Kakashi nods at him, his hair shining in the moonlight, and they are on the move again.

They dash over the village, trying to hide in the shadows as much as they can. Sasuke, still not entirely in control of his chakra, expects an ambush to happen every time they skip over a rooftop out in the open.

When they are almost at the bottom of the Hokage Tower, Kakashi stops him.

”We have to find Naruto and Sakura,” he says as they stand under the massive figure of a water tank to stay out of sight.

Sasuke wants to scream at him. It might take who knows how long before they can find their teammates – if the two haven't got themselves captured, that’s it – and then there would certainly be this overcomplicated plan to _capture_ Danzou by _teamwork_ and Sasuke simply doesn't have time for that.

The man responsible for his clan's demise is right in that building and Sasuke won't let this chance pass by. Kakashi can go fetch Naruto and Sakura by himself if he wants to.

”No.”

Sasuke doesn't give his former teacher any better answer than that before he jumps from the shadow of the water tank and heads towards the Hokage tower. He can hear Kakashi hissing something after him, but when he doesn't come to drag him back, Sasuke feels like smirking.

It’s time to hunt.


	9. Fear of Thunder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I have a bad habit of making things more dramatic than they necessarily have to be. Please excuse me, I have no idea what I'm doing.
> 
> I'm never writing fighting scenes again. (Yes, I am.)

 

_The 10th of August, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_

_2:18AM_

The centre of the village is eerily quiet. There is no one in sight, and it is almost like the Hokage Tower has been left unguarded when Sasuke sneaks up to the base of the Tower. Maybe Danzou’s forces are spread thin, still running around the Uchiha District, looking for Sasuke and his teammates. At this hour of the night, most of the Leaf shinobis are at home, sleeping, so Danzou has to count on his own people. Maybe the number of his loyal lackeys isn’t that large after all, if Danzou councillor has to leave the Hokage Tower this badly defended.

Maybe he didn’t think Sasuke would come after him so soon. A grave mistake on his part.

With a pulse of his chakra, Sasuke climbs up the wall. He crouches down to stay close to the smooth surface of the building, trying to stay hidden in case there is somebody keeping watch after all.

The shinobis of Konoha have a bad habit of coming and going through windows – most commonly exercised by Sasuke’s former teacher – and Sasuke turns that habit against them right now. No matter how well Danzou might have planned his coup, he can’t possibly have remembered to check every window in every secretary’s room – it’s still summer and the small rooms get unbearably hot during the day. Somebody must have let in some air and forget to shut the window afterwards.

And really, it doesn't take that long before Sasuke finds a way in. He scoffs to himself – this is almost too easy. The first thing he will tell Naruto to do when to the idiot becomes Hokage is to shut all the windows in the building, this is just plain irresponsible.

Sasuke lets himself in and lands on his feet, his steps light against the floorboards. It is a basic office room somewhere in the lower levels of the Tower, empty and nondescript. He stops to listen, holding his breath. He can faintly hear somebody speaking down the hall, the words a muffled mess, and the far-off sounds of one person walking away from his direction, but there are no signs of anybody taking any notice of him.

Sasuke needs to locate Danzou. Most likely he is in the Hokage's office – if he really has taken the title of the Hokage, there is no dragging the councillor out of that office. Danzou has been after that job as long as anybody can remember, and now he has finally got it, after all these long years. By now, Danzou has probably come up with a handy lie about Sasuke’s escape from the prison – Sasuke wouldn’t be that surprised if the attack on Tsunade was pinned on him.

Carefully, Sasuke peeks at the hall from the safety of the empty room. There are a couple of Leaf shinobis standing near a staircase, gossiping together and very much avoiding their duty of actively guarding the building. They look like ordinary chuunins, average ninjas that are more suited for dull guarding duties than fieldwork. It isn’t likely that hese are supporters of Danzou, no, they probably just got hit with some bad luck when the night shifts were assigned. They don’t seem to think anything fishy is going on – maybe they really bought the tale of Tsunade’s treachery and accepted Danzou as their new Hokage without a hitch. Another old, overly-powerful ninja of the old tales got the stupid hat of a Kage, so what?

Sasuke reaches for his sword at his hip and swears when his hand meets nothing. Of course he doesn't have his sword with him, he hasn't had it for months. Why couldn't his team have brought him one if they could arrange him other weapons? It's not as if they don’t have any swords, Kakashi has at least one – doesn’t he have a spare one Sasuke could borrow?

With nothing else to go with, he grabs the kunai Kakashi handed him earlier and throws it straight at one of the two guards. He misses – Sasuke blames the after effects of the seal that make his head spin – but the kunai hurling towards them is enough to attract the attention of both guards. Nearly simultaneously, they spin around to look at him, alarmed by the flying weapon.

And what use would Sasuke’s sharingan be if it couldn’t cast genjutsu on some mediocre chuunins after direct eye contact?

Trapped in an illusion, the two shinobis stay frozen in place as Sasuke walks up to them, aiming to go pass them towards the staircase. He stops half-way to pick up a sword from one of the chuunins, only to drop the blade with a sneer. Then he checks the other chuunin’s sword and chooses to take that one instead.

Sasuke manages to get through the building without any bloodshed – he just keeps throwing the rare ninjas he stumbles upon under genjutsu. When he finally finds the Hokage’s office, he notices that there are, yet again, ANBUs in the room. Sasuke presses himself flat against the wall and tries to peek inside. Three masked shinobis are spread around the room, and Danzou is sitting at the desk, going through some papers, already a picture-perfect Hokage at his work.

Well, to hell with it.

With one quick movement Sasuke storms into the room and attacks the guard standing closest to him. He takes the man by surprise and manages to pin him against the wall, the borrowed sword scraping against the shinobi’s neck. The ANBU is still shaken by Sasuke's sudden appearance and looks straight into his eyes, and that's the end for him.

In a matter of seconds Sasuke lets the shinobi drowning in genjutsu drop down to the floor, and swirls around the meet the unfortunate man's comrades. They are no better than the first one – the situation has sprung on them so suddenly that they haven't still figured out who exactly they are dealing with. And so, when the pair of ANBUs rush towards Sasuke with their weapons raised, they attack with their heads held high and eyes locked forwards – the fools of them – and they find themselves trapped in genjutsu in no time.

At the sound of chair screeching against the floor, Sasuke turns his gaze towards Danzou.

A burst of pain runs through Sasuke’s head. He has to lean against the wall to steady himself when his vision starts swaying – his body isn't used to working with such a large amount of chakra after months of having none.

It makes Sasuke’s blood boil to see that Danzou has noticed his moment of weakness.

”I see that you have got yourself released from the seal,” the old man says and deliberately looks just a little bit off from Sasuke's face to avoid his sharingan. ”Apparently we shouldn't have trusted Hatake after all, you have obviously had him wrapped around your little finger all this time. He is a better liar than I gave him credit for. Do tell me, how did you turn him from devoting himself wholly to the good of the village to being at your beck and call?”

“Leave him out of this. This is between you and me.”

“Did you blackmail him? Guilt him into doing it? Has he been on your side the whole time?” Danzou wonders out loud and completely brushes Sasuke off. Then he takes another look at Sasuke and his eyes widen just slightly before a dark, low chuckle escapes him. “Don’t tell me – you actually slept with him, didn’t you?”

Sasuke bites his lip to keep himself from opening his mouth and making the situation worse. What happened between Kakashi and him isn’t any of Danzou’s business.

“I never thought that the only son of the great White Fang could be bought so easily. But, once again, personal feelings overrun the greater good of the village,” Danzou drawls. An arrogant look passes on his face as he straightens his back, as if he gained height now that he caught Sasuke red-handed. “Such a shame, that one. And Tsunade wanted to make him her successor. Pathetic.”

“Shut up!” Sasuke growls at Danzou, his thoughts one big frenzy as he tries to come up with a way to still win this fight. There is ice in his voice when he raises his sword towards Danzou. ”Your so-called devotion to the village got a whole clan killed, so I don't think you have the right to look down your nose at anyone. I'm going to kill you for what you did to my family. And to my brother.”

”You're a fool, child. Believing your own delusions. Itachi understood the value of the village over his clan –”

”You have no right to say his name!” Sasuke roars and lunges at Danzou, all caution thrown to the wind. He jumps on top of the table, causing the mountains of paper to spill on the floor, and deflects a fire technique aimed at him.

Sasuke moves forwards to plunge his sword through Danzou’s chest, but his head starts spinning again. He misses his target and almost loses his balance – the smooth, though now slightly scorched surface of the table is slippery under his feet, and it sends him stumbling awkwardly, making him struggle to stay upright.

Danzou doesn’t waste his opportunity to attack Sasuke instead. He swings his cane towards Sasuke, hitting his feet from under him. This time Sasuke can’t do anything to keep himself from falling over, and he crashes down from the table.

Sasuke falls on his hands and manages spin himself back to his feet from there. He adjusts his grip on the sword and gathers his strength into his feet. He readies himself for an attack, but then he has to spin to the side to avoid another jutsu coming towards him.

Just as he gets his feet under him again, he looks up and sees everything double and Danzou is already coming at him and –

Something barrels right into the old councillor, sending him crashing on the floor, and Sasuke would actually smile at Naruto this once if he just had the time. Sasuke’s best friend takes his place in the battle against Danzou, spinning and whirling around the old man like he is flying. Then there is the sound of a thousand birds singing Sasuke would recognize in his sleep and Kakashi is there too, joining Naruto in the fight.

Sasuke feels a hand on his shoulder and turns to find Sakura crouching down next to him.

”Are you hurt?” she asks, all the while stealing glances at the battle unfolding in front of them.

”I'm alright,” he answers. His vision is already returning to normal. Sakura nods, he stands up and they run to Naruto's help.

At first, when the four of them go together against Danzou, it feels like they have already won. After all the years they have trained as a team, Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi fight seamlessly as one. They are a blur of wind and lightning and brute force, covering each other’s back – every time one of them falls back, there is someone ready to take their place. It is bittersweet to see them so welded together, when Sasuke knows that if he had just stayed, he would have had all of that too.

Danzou doesn’t like his odds of four against one.

“I warn you, this is your last chance to back down.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Naruto snarls at Danzou and sends a rasengan flying towards him.

Danzou sneers at him and simply steps aside to avoid the flying ball of chakra.

“Have it your way then,” he says and removes the cast from his right arm. The cast falls on the floor with a _thud,_ but Team 7 pays no mind to that.

Danzou’s whole right arm is covered in eyes, a sharingan staring at them from each and every one of them.

Sakura gasps, and Naruto curses under his breath. Kakashi doesn’t say anything but there is a sudden electric tension crackling in the air.

Sasuke can’t breathe.

“You bastard!” he hisses, his voice almost as piercing as the sound of his screaming birds when he throws himself at Danzou. He is a mess of chakra and scraping nails, and would probably use his teeth as well, had he the chance.

But Danzou releases a wind jutsu that fills the whole room and pushes Sasuke away from him. Behind Sasuke, Naruto is saved by Sakura who hurls herself at Naruto to push him away from the line of Danzou’s attack. The pair of them crash on the other side of the room, while Kakashi lunges at Danzou, engaging him in a taijutsu match of kicks and punches.

Another chidori bursts into life in Sasuke’s hand. This might be his chance. If Kakashi can hold Danzou’s attention just long enough, Sasuke might be able to finally end this. He collects even more chakra in his hand and readies himself, but just when is about to attack, a hand grips his ankle.

Before Sasuke can do anything, he is pulled down on the floor. His face hits the surface, and the impact sends white pain through his skull. One of the ANBUs he paralyzed earlier climbs on top of him. Sasuke curses, punctures the shinobi’s chest with his chidori and throws the body off him. But how could the ANBU be awake? Sasuke’s sharingan holds the power of the mangenkyoo, nobody without the same bloodline limit should be able to break off the genjutsu.

A giant burst of flames explodes in the room and Sasuke hits the floor again. Kakashi has switched from taijutsu to ninjutsu in his fight with Danzou, and Danzou isn’t holding back either.

From his place on the floor, Sasuke spies another one of the ANBUs heading towards Naruto, who is slowly standing up – he must be bruised and hurting after getting knocked down. Sakura is already running to go to help Kakashi.

Sasuke glances back at Naruto – he doesn’t seem to have noticed the shinobi creeping towards him. Just as Sasuke shouts a warning at Naruto, he realises it must be the after effects of the seal that are sabotaging his genjutsu. But the realisation comes too late, just like his warning.

Naruto does turn to look at him, but that in turn gives the ANBU her chance.

The jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi has no problems dealing even with the assassin level ninjas, but when the shinobi hits him from behind with all the strength she has, Naruto blacks out.

Sakura screams after Naruto. In the hassle of trying to find out what is going while struggling to keep an eye on their enemies at the same time, the remaining members of Team 7 find themselves in trouble.

From the corner of his eye Sasuke catches movement at the door. There are more ANBUs standing at the doorway, taking in the sight of their fight – they are probably back from combing through the Uchiha district. One of them recognizes Naruto, as a ninja in a bear mask makes his way through the room to bind the unconscious jinchuuriki's hands and drag him away before the Kyuubi can heal him.

Sakura goes out next. Kakashi yells a warning at her, spotting an enemy ninja aiming towards her, but he is too late. The ANBUs manage to separate her from Sasuke and Kakashi, and then they gang up on her while her teammates are busy with Danzou.

They drag her away too.

”I suggest that you surrender,” Danzou chuckles at Kakashi and Sasuke as he straightens his back and dusts off his clothes. There are at least half a dozen ANBUs in the room against just the two of them, and the guards who are now taking their teammates away are to be back soon.

Sasuke turns his head slightly, glancing at Kakashi. The odds are looking bad for them. And still, this might be their only chance – if Danzou can pull off his revolution and become Hokage, they might get killed before they see the next day.

He finds Kakashi looking back at him, a hard look on his masked face, and when Kakashi nods, Sasuke knows that at least they aren't going to go down without a fight.

Sasuke collects his raging chakra in his left hand. The familiar sound of his chidori fills the air. Electric current runs through his body and Sasuke can feel his hair raising up at the back of his neck. Kakashi activates his own raikiri and his hair seems pure white in the blue light. The humming sound of two thousand birds is deafening as it echoes in the room.

Sasuke attacks first. Sparks fly in the air as he charges towards Danzou. The ANBUs have no time to react, Danzou is just standing there, waiting to get hit, and for that half a second Sasuke is sure it is going to work.

Danzou waits until the last possible moment – and then, when Sasuke is too close to avoid it, he blasts another wave of wind at Sasuke. At such a close distance, it’s like being hit by a hurricane when the pressure wave drums through his body.

Kakashi shout his name with an unusual panic in his voice. All air escapes Sasuke’s lungs when Kakashi throws himself at Sasuke and pushes him away from the jutsu’s path.

Sasuke lands on the floor, heaving for breath, all his limbs shaking. He never wants to get hit by that technique again. His body aches, there is a wound over his left brow bleeding into his eye, and it’s so hard to get up again.

It’s been only seconds since he was knocked over, but when Sasuke glances up, it’s only to see that Danzou is already moving onto his next target.

Kakashi is still looking right into Sasuke’s eyes, trying to make sure that he is alright, when Danzou’s even stronger technique collides into him.

The destructive pulse of chakra hits Kakashi straight into his chest, and he is sent flying by the force of the attack. Sasuke makes the mistake of not turning his eyes away from the sight of Kakashi hitting the wall with a terrible _crack._

Danzou uses his opportunity of having Sasuke down on his knees on the floor, too stunned to move, his eyes still wide as he stares the spot where Kakashi hit the wall. Danzou picks up Sasuke’s sword from the floor and manages to kick Sasuke straight in his head.

Sasuke finds himself sprawled on the ground again, his head still pinning. The pain pounds against his skull and adrenaline runs wild through him as he tries to scramble back to his feet.

But then his own sword is pinned against his neck and one foot pressed on his chest to keep him down.

”Do you surrender, Uchiha?” Danzou asks and leans down towards Sasuke, his weight pressing the blade uncomfortably against Sasuke’s neck.

”Fuck you!” Sasuke hisses and spits on Danzou's face. This would really be the time for Kakashi to make his surprise attack. Sasuke sneers at the old man over him and waits for his teacher to save him.

But there is no rescue attempt.

Confused, Sasuke turns his head to look at the place he last saw Kakashi. Horrible cold shivers run through him when he realises that there is a body spread in an uncomfortable position on the floor near the wall. A body with white hair fanned over the closed eyes.

All colour leaves Sasuke’s face.

He tries to fight the sword pinned against his neck, scrambling and flailing in panic, only for the blade to be pressed harder against his skin. Sasuke can’t take his eyes off the sight on the other side of the room. He has already seen this image once, covered in snow, and he never wanted to see it again. Kakashi hasn't got up and Sasuke desperately wants to know if he's still breathing but he can't see from this distance and this is his fault and –

” _Oh_ ,” Danzou draws out, almost exaggerating, as he shifts his gaze between the two of them, an ugly grin spreading on his face. ”I see. Not so one-sided after all. Well, that makes this easier for us.”

Sasuke immediately turns to face Danzou with panic filling his mind. _What is going on?_

He sees Danzou beckon to one of the ANBUs who marches over to Kakashi. The masked guard places a hand on Kakashi's neck – Sasuke wants to growl at him – and soon nods at Danzou. The old man smirks and Sasuke doesn't want to hear what he is going to say next.

”Are you sure about not surrendering? Since Hatake is still alive. But he won't be much longer if you resist, boy,” Danzou exclaims, and Sasuke hates how arrogant he sounds. But then he sees the ANBU press a kunai against Kakashi's neck.

They will kill him.

It shouldn't matter. Sasuke has cut his bond with these people once already, he shouldn't care if Kakashi lives or dies if he just has the chance to avenge his family. Because this shows how right he was years ago – caring is a weakness. When he has no bonds, no one can do this to him, to make him choose between saving a life and taking another. It should be easy to attack Danzou right here, when Sasuke is close enough to kill with him with his bare hands.

But Sasuke can't.

”Personal feelings overrun the greater good,” Danzou repeats his own words with a smug expression on his face. And how ironic it is that even though Kakashi and Sasuke agreed that the night they shared would mean nothing, that it would change nothing, Sasuke still feels like he can’t breathe when he looks at Kakashi lying on the floor, blood staining his light hair. A part of him wishes that he could just forget about Kakashi and strangle Danzou where he stands. But that isn’t an option anymore.

The dead can wait for their revenge, but Sasuke can't bury any more people.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

”I surrender.” 

 

o0o

 

_3:11AM_

Danzou and his men take them away from the Tower to hide them from any unlikely saving attempts. Sasuke is once again escorted through the village, this time with one of the guards holding a kunai to his back. The largest one of the ANBUs is carrying Kakashi behind Sasuke, and another one with a fish mask is following close by, a sword in his hand and ready to move, should Sasuke have any funny ideas about running away.

Sasuke clenches his fist and curses himself for being weak – Danzou could be dead by now and his family avenged.

Danzou leads them into a building near the border of the Forest of Death, and walks straight into the dark, abandoned house past all the debris on the porch. He crouches down with some difficulty in front of a bookshelf and searches for something with his hand. Sasuke doesn't dare risk using his sharingan, but he thinks Danzou might be looking for some kind of a switch. He hears a muffled _click_ and Danzou's pleased grunt as the bookshelf opens like a door and reveals a hidden passage behind it.

Of course.

After a set of slippery stairs, there is a large room full of equipment that reminds Sasuke awfully lot of Orochimaru's hideout. The whole laboratory smells of foul chemicals and blood, and Sasuke is sure he can spy some body parts floating in glass containers on the shelves.

Danzou catches his expression.

”I knew you would recognize your former master's work. This is one of Orochimaru's first laboratories. I have taken the custody of it as of late.”

Sasuke studies the place with only a mild interest and isn't apparently as impressed as he should be, judging by the displeased look on the old man's face.

“Who did you sell to Orochimaru in exchange for this base?” Sasuke scoffs at Danzou. Then he notices the holding cells at the back of the laboratory. He can't see his friends anywhere here and doesn't know if that's a good or bad thing. ”Where did you take Naruto and Sakura?”

”The Nine-Tails and the girl have been taken to the prison you inhabited not so long ago. They will be accused of attempting to murder the Hokage, naturally. Nothing gets my new career off to a better start than a public execution, don’t you agree?”

_No_.

”I don't think you should blame your own crimes on other people,” Sasuke hisses. Danzou just scowls at him and nods at the ANBUs. Kakashi is unceremoniously thrown into one of the cells and Sasuke winces as the man hits the floor. Then he is pushed in right after and the door clangs shut after him.

Sasuke spins around to face the man he has sworn to kill and goes to grab the cell bars, a mirror image of Danzou and him from a few days ago.

“I wouldn’t touch the bars if I were you. Orochimaru made this cell to hold his test subjects – the metal is infused with seals to suppress chakra. I imagine that you might get electrocuted, should you touch the bars.”

Sasuke withdraws his hands with a hiss. Cells and seals again. Wonderful.

”Why are we here? Why is _he_ here?” he shouts at Danzou and waves his hand towards his unconscious teacher on the floor. Why do they still need Kakashi as leverage against him?

Danzou smirks devilishly at him and Sasuke feels all colour drain from his face.

”I was running low on sharingans, but you two have fixed that problem. Three perfect eyes of the extinct Uchiha clan on a silver platter. But I’m afraid that the transfer has to wait until I have the complete control over the village.”

”You can't keep us here! Somebody will start asking after us!”

”Who do you think will come after you? Your only friends are waiting for their execution in prison. Tsunade is unconscious in the hospital, though I will make sure she’s not there for long. The only people who care about you are either dead or about to be. Because of you,” Danzou states and looks down his nose at Sasuke. “ And naturally, in my official report of this night, it will read that you two got yourself killed in your attack against me. No one will come for you.”

With that Danzou takes his men and leaves. Only two of the ANBUs stay to keep an eye on the prisoners.

The second the door closes after Danzou, Sasuke rushes to Kakashi who hasn't moved an inch since he got hit. He kneels down next to Kakashi and carefully turns him around on his side. There is blood in his light hair, and his face is awfully pale. It’s almost like they are in the Land of Snow again – Sasuke half-expects Kakashi to disappear with a poof of white smoke like a clone, with the real Kakashi materializing on the other side of the bars to lecture Sasuke about how leaving your friends behind is bad for your health.

Sasuke presses his fingers against Kakashi’s neck. After a few seconds, a relief runs through him –  there is a pulse beating against his fingers. Kakashi's not dead.

Yet.

Sasuke doesn't know if Kakashi has broken bones or some severe internal injury. Or if something happened to his spine when he hit the wall. And Sasuke would have no idea what to about them if he knew. But he can do something about the wound he spies on Kakashi’s head. Sasuke tears the hem of his shirt and presses the piece of cloth against the wound to stop the bleeding. The grey rag is soon wet with blood, and for a moment Sasuke wishes it was Sakura in here instead of him. He knows only how to kill people, not how to keep them alive.

Then he gets an idea.

”Hey! I need help!” he shouts at the two ANBUs keeping guard at the door. If Danzou wants Kakashi's sharingan, they need to keep him alive, right? ”He's bleeding.”

”And what are we supposed to do about that?” comes the hesitant answer.

”Get medic or some medicine or bandages. Anything.”

The guards stand there like nothing important is going on and Sasuke wants to throw something. 

”He's dying, for fuck's sake!”

”A sharingan taken from a dead body works just as well,” a different voice and a different ANBU says. Sasuke feels like scowling and crying and screaming. This is not working, he has to try something else.

”And what do you think keeps me from attacking Danzou after he is dead?” he asks with a warning in his tone.

”The cell blocks your chakra and you have no weapons. We can sedate you before we take you out of the cell. The only purpose of dragging your friend around was to get you here. He was useless the second we got you in.”

Sasuke should have killed Danzou when he had the chance if Kakashi is going to die anyway.

The guards are not going to change their mind, no matter what he says, so he gives up on them and turns his attention back to the man lying in front of him. Gently, Sasuke takes a hold of Kakashi's shoulder and shakes him.

”Hey,” he says, ”Wake up. Open your eyes.”

He gets no response, and it chills him down to the bone.

”Come on, bastard. Naruto's going to kill me if you die on me,” Sasuke hisses and shakes him harder.

Kakashi remains unconscious.

Sasuke slumps down into a sitting position and buries his head in his hands. They are trapped, they will get their eyes clawed out, Kakashi is going to die, and Naruto and Sakura will be executed. Sasuke is sure he is going to meet the same fate sooner or later. All because of him.

”I will never have sex with you again if you do this to me,” he hisses, scowling at the man next to him, but when Kakashi still won't budge, Sasuke reluctantly gives up.

Now there is nothing he can do but wait.


	10. Foreboding Winds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Curiously, my chapters keep getting longer and longer. But I don't think you guys mind. 
> 
> If you don't have any idea of what's going on in this chapter, it's okay - I don't have the faintest idea either.

 

_The 10th of August, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_

_11:46AM_

The blurry, hazy state between wakefulness and sleep makes Sasuke lose his grasp on time. With his eyelids heavy and his head buzzing, Sasuke dozes off every now and then, sitting on the cold and uncomfortable cell floor as hours pass by. He is too tired to stay awake, but falling asleep in such a stressful situation isn’t that easy either – every time Sasuke drifts off, he wakes up with a flinch soon after, his heart drumming in his chest and his breath too loud in his ears.

The few moments of rest he gets are full of nightmares. There is his dead brother, asking why Sasuke would ever kill him when Itachi loves him so. There is Naruto, his eyes red and the whiskers on his cheeks harsh, screaming that if Sasuke had just come back earlier, every member of Team 7 would still be alive. Sakura is crying. Kakashi is lying on the ground, covered in snow, his empty eyes staring at nothing. All of it is Sasuke’s fault.

Each time Sasuke bolts awake from his nightmares, his eyes gravitate towards his still unconscious teacher. He checks Kakashi’s pulse every time, his shaking fingers trying to find a heartbeat while his own heart thumps wildly. Kakashi hasn’t moved an inch since they were brought here, and there have been no signs of him waking up. Instead, just as Sasuke feared, he is getting paler and paler, and Sasuke has no way to help him. The guards stationed in the hideout don’t care about them even though Kakashi in a such a bad state – they are quite content to be sitting on the other side of the laboratory, gossiping with each other in a very unprofessional manner and throwing only customary glances at their prisoners every now and then.

With every passing moment Sasuke gets more anxious when he thinks of what will happen to Naruto and Sakura. He knows that if nobody stops Danzou, there is no way the two will make it out alive – the councillor will see them dead if only to spite Sasuke.

Sasuke’s only hope is that the Council members might come to their senses and see through Danzou’s lies. Or that Tsunade wakes up and beats some sense in the Council. Then they might still be able to put an end to Danzou’s reign before it really even begins. All of the clan heads are aware that Danzou has taken control over the village – some of them must doubt him. They must see that when there was suddenly evidence of Tsunade committing treason just when Danzou was losing the political battle between the Fifth Hokage and him, it’s too good to be a coincidence. Somebody must be asking why Naruto, the Hero of Konoha, is nowhere to be found when his more or less adopted grandmother is in hospital, or why the Fifth’s prodigy isn’t there to treat her. Danzou was so eager to take the power only minutes after the news about the Fifth’s supposed betrayal – are the members of Team 7 really the only ones to think there is something fishy about that?

A crash at the entrance of the laboratory catches the attention of Sasuke and the guards. A tall, bulky member of Danzou’s ROOT storms in with another ANBU trotting in tow. The large shinobi has markings on his uniform, identifying him as a captain, and a fearsome sword strapped to his back. He barks orders at the lazy guards, and they scramble up on their feet, their movements jerky and hasty.

“Get the boy from the cell,” the commanding ANBU with a tiger mask growls. The roughness of the voice matches the animal that decorates his mask. The three less high-ranking shinobis hurry towards Sasuke, so scared of the ANBU captain that they are almost clumsy as they flail around with the keys and then point their weapons at Sasuke.

Sasuke hisses at the guards and crouches in front of Kakashi, trying to hide him behind himself, because the only thing Danzou’s men can blackmail Sasuke with is the life of his unconscious teacher. Powerless to do anything in the cell that tampers with his chakra, Sasuke is backed into a corner with the three ANBUs advancing towards him from all directions. He tries to bring a chidori into life with all his might, but the cell suppresses any chakra he might have. It does cut off the guards’ chakra as well, but they have weapons, and unlike Sasuke, they don’t have to try to protect anyone.

It doesn’t take long before the ANBUs tire of his game, and one of them kicks Sasuke into his abdomen while one of the others distracts him with a faint attack towards Kakashi. Sasuke goes down with a groan, falling on the floor and clutching his stomach. There is nothing he can do when two of the ROOT members grab him by his arms and drag him out of the cell, while the last of them stays there with a kunai pointed towards Kakashi’s neck.

When Sasuke gets his bearings back, he scratches and kicks the ANBUs, struggling against them as much as he can. He doesn’t want anything to do with Danzou’s forces, let alone with this overly-confident bully of a captain, and he is terrified to leave Kakashi alone in the cell with that spineless lackey of Danzou’s.

Tiger doesn’t tolerate him fighting back.

“Cooperate or the copy-nin will die,” he gnarls and marches over to Sasuke with long, heavy steps and looks down at him from his notable height. The tiger mask suits him – there is something in him that reminds Sasuke of a large feline beast. Just like a tiger, he is dangerous and well aware of that fact.

He could still be a little more original with his threats – by now Danzou and his troops are starting to resemble a broken record when they keep using Kakashi to keep Sasuke in check.

“He will die anyway so what does it matter?” Sasuke seethes at Tiger, pulling against the ANBUs’ grip on his arms. What the fuck do these guys want now? “I might as well save him the pain of going slowly and kill you right now.”

"With what, Uchiha? Your words might be sharp but they won’t have any effect on me,” Tiger mocks and dares to laugh at him. It’s a dark, low sound that makes Sasuke clench his fists. If Kakashi wasn’t still breathing in that cell with that ANBU hovering over him, Sasuke would have activated his sharingan ages ago.

“What are we going to do with him?” one of the guards holding Sasuke down asks. Their grip on him is tight and Sasuke’s sure his arms are going to be covered in bruises in a few hours, just like the rest of him.

“I’m going to make sure that even if he manages to escape, he will never pose a threat against Shimura-sama ever again,” Tiger explains, and while Sasuke can’t see his face because of the white mask, he is certain that there is a smug smirk on the captain’s face.

“What, is Danzou too much of a coward to rip my eyes off himself?” Sasuke laughs, eyes cold. “How very kind of you to do it for him.”

“Oh no, I’m not here to take your eyes. I have something else in mind. But you will lose them eventually, don’t you worry about that,” Tigers hisses. His eyes, the only visible part of his face, are full of disgust and hatred. “You have stood up against Shimura-sama far too many times now. I can’t let you have any chance to do it again. You Uchihas have been nothing but trouble. All this could have been avoided if you had just died along with the rest of your kind.”

“That’s an awful lot of anger. I only let the village know who your dear _Shimura-sama_ really is behind all his lies,” Sasuke quips back and forcefully keeps himself for glancing back into the cell to see if Kakashi is still alive. The comment about his clan burns him but he can’t afford to lose his head in a blind fury now.

“You turned this village against Shimura-sama when it should have been rightfully his!” Tiger shouts at Sasuke and then, without a warning, punches him straight to his face.

White pain flashes through Sasuke as his nose cracks. The force behind the punch is so strong that Sasuke would have fallen onto the floor if it weren’t for the two ANBU holding him in place. He is too shocked to even curse as Tiger continues to bellow.

“And you will pay for that, you traitor. I will make sure that you will be made to watch as your teacher here slowly withers away in front of you while you can do nothing to save him. Then you’ll witness your friends getting executed as murderers. And when everything else you hold dear has been taken from you, you will lose the last trace of the Uchiha clan’s heritage. Himura-sama might be above petty revenge like this, as he has time only for the village, but I will not rest until you get what you deserve – a worthless life as an eyeless being with no one to care about you.”

Blood drips from Sasuke’s abused nose. It tastes metallic on his lips. He spits the blood on the floor and raises his eyes calmly to meet the tall ANBU’s in front of him.

“Are you in love with him or something?” Sasuke chuckles and gets another hit to his face. This time the two guards are glad to let go of him when the punch comes, and Sasuke lands sprawled on the ground. He growls curses under his breath and tries to blink the twinkling stars from his vision. The ANBUs grab a hold of him again.

“Let’s see if you are as cocky when I’m done with you, shall we?” Tiger taunts him and kicks Sasuke to his already aching stomach when Sasuke tries to push himself off the cold stone floor. Sasuke swears and refuses to be helpful in any way when the two ANBUs – who seem more like Tiger’s minions at this point – start to drag him towards an open area in the back of the laboratory.

If Sasuke had any doubts about this hideout belonging to Orochimaru, they leave him now. He spots a metal chain attached to the floor in the middle of the round area and he knows exactly what it is. Orochimaru’s test subjects weren’t always that eager to fill their part in the Sannin’s various experiments and so they had to be chained in place in the middle of the seal.

Sasuke involuntarily shivers as he is pushed once again on his knees atop a complicated design of symbols. The heavy chain is fastened to his wrists. He just got out of his last seal less then twenty-four hours ago, and now he is going to get another one thrust upon him.

“It is as if a circle closes, don’t you think? This jutsu I am going to cast on you was developed by your old master. It was one of the last techniques Orochimaru managed to finish before his untimely death. He could have been very useful to us for years to come if it weren’t for you. So, in a way, this is his revenge from beyond the grave.”

Hunched over his still hurting stomach, Sasuke tries to find a more comfortable position on the floor. He couldn’t care less about the ramblings of the mad ANBU at this point, but he is forced to acknowledge the large man when Tiger crouches down and grabs his chin, yanking his face upwards.

“Say goodbye to your life as a ninja, Uchiha,” the ROOT member hisses before letting go of Sasuke and clapping his hands together, “because it ends now.”

Then he presses his glowed hands against Sasuke’s chest, and with what feels like his own Kirin blasted through his whole body, Sasuke falls into darkness.

 

o0o

 

_1:29PM_

His mouth is dry.

His stomach hurts.

His whole face aches.

With a faint moan Sasuke rolls to his side and presses a hand to his sore stomach, curling on himself. Gods, it hurts. He stays there for a while, cursing his life, before he blinks his eyes open and just stares at his surroundings.

He has been dumped back into the cell. Tiger is gone, and so is one of the ANBUs – there are only the two lazy ones left in the laboratory.

Slowly, with his body stiff, Sasuke raises his hand in front of his face and squints at it in the dim light. There are no markings on the skin as far as he can see. Sasuke doesn’t feel any different than before, apart from his bruised face, and the familiar feeling of weakness that used to accompany him after Kakashi sealed his chakra hasn’t come back either. For all the extravagant boasting Tiger had going on, Sasuke had expected a bit showier results. He counts his limbs and his toes and his fingers – all intact. He can see. Sasuke tries out his voice, and even though it’s rough and his throat hoarse, he can speak and hear. He can’t check his chakra in this cell, but as far as he can see, there is nothing wrong with him.

Maybe the jutsu failed.

Sasuke has seen it happen before – it wasn’t that unusual to see a jutsu just not work during his time in the Sound. With Orochimaru’s tendency of inventing his own techniques, there wasn’t a week that they didn’t have some experiment go wrong. This wouldn’t be the first time Sasuke witnesses a complicated jutsu fail like this, and it gives him the courage to think that maybe his luck has finally come along.

Sasuke pushes himself slowly upwards to a sitting position, assessing his situation, and hisses when his battered body complaints against the movement. Only then remembers that there are other things at stake than just his well-being. He stumbles up to his feet and hurries towards Kakashi who is right there where Sasuke left him, lifelessly lying on the floor with a gash on his head and blood all over his pale face. Sasuke, fearing for the worst, lays a hand on his neck.

A deep sigh of relief escapes Sasuke when he feels a pulse against his fingers – a weak pulse, but there – and he slumps down to sit next to Kakashi.

He wonders how Naruto and Sakura are doing, if they know what awaits them. Has Tsunade woken up? What does the Council think of Danzou’s actions? Are they really not going to see through Danzou’s farce of framing his competition and incapacitating Tsunade to get the title of the Hokage?

Before he can lose himself in his schemes of breaking out and killing Danzou slowly and painfully, he notices a movement in the corner of his eye.

Sasuke’s heart jumps in his throat, because Kakashi’s eyelids are fluttering.

Sasuke moves to kneel in front of him, leaning down towards his face. Kakashi’s whole body tenses and there is a faint sound of discomfort.

Then he opens his eyes.

Kakashi’s gaze is unfocused and foggy at first, then he squints his eyes and shifts his head to look at Sasuke, barely awake and conscious. He seems to recognise Sasuke though, because his body relaxes at the sight of the young man next to him.

“Hi,” Sasuke says quietly and a rare smile flashes on his face. Kakashi blinks slowly at him, his brows furrowing as he tries to understand what is going on.

“Danzou got us. I haven’t seen Naruto or Sakura since they were taken away. They’re not here,” Sasuke whispers, trying not to alert the ANBUs on the other side of the room. He has no idea if Kakashi is awake enough to understand anything he’s saying, but it’s such a relief to see his eyes open that Sasuke can’t stop himself. “Danzou’s planning to take our sharingans.”

But before Sasuke can say anything else, Kakashi’s gaze loses its focus again and after another pained noise from him, his mismatched eyes close. He fades back to unconsciousness, leaving Sasuke alone in the cell.

 

o0o

 

_9:15PM_

Danzou returns to the laboratory alone without his usual posse of white-clad guards tailing after him. He seems to be in a hurry – judging by the sour expression on his wrinkly face, something has gone wrong, and it hasn’t been even twenty-four hours into his rule as the Hokage. His misery is enough to make Sasuke smirk to himself behind the curtain of his hair.

”I am taking the sharingans now. Go grab the boy,” Danzou commands the ANBU standing closest to the cell.

”Should we sedate him first or – ”

”We don't have the time. Do it, now!” the councillor roars, his face flushed and red as he keeps stealing glances back at the front entrance. “I said _now_!”

Sasuke hisses obscenities at all of them when one of the ANBUs opens the door and steps into the cell, pointing a sword against Kakashi's neck. Sasuke is really getting tired of this, but he knows to stay in place when the other guard comes to him and grips his hands. The ANBU forces Sasuke's arms behinds his back and presses a knee on his back, making Sasuke lean forwards uncomfortably.

”This whole plan was a gamble, and I lost. Now I have no choice but to retreat. But at least I'm taking the sharingans with me,” Danzou states and reveals his right arm covered in red eyes. ”Hold him down.”

Danzou crouches in front of Sasuke and raises a hand to his face, pressing his bony fingers against Sasuke’s forehead and cheek – just like Itachi did when Sasuke’s world was still black and white and his brother was just a madman that killed his family. Danzou’s fingertips are rough against his skin, and the touch makes Sasuke feel sick. The councillor brings up his other hand to keep Sasuke’s head in place while the ANBU forces Sasuke to lean towards Danzou. The old man’s fingers almost dig into his skull. Danzou is going to rip his eyes out of his head and this is going to hurt so much –

Something flashes in Sasuke’s peripheral vision, and there is the familiar sound of a body hitting the ground. A glint of steel later Sasuke sees a sword pressed against Danzou's neck.

”Get your hands off him,” Kakashi hisses and moves the blade so that there is now blood running on Danzou's skin. His voice is so rough it almost hard to make out the words. Sasuke finds himself just numbly staring at him. Kakashi is dangerously pale, shaking, breathing heavily and all the blood on his face makes him look like a serial killer – but he is awake and has saved Sasuke yet again.

”Now!” Kakashi barks when Danzou hasn't done anything to let go of Sasuke. This time Danzou obeys and drops his hands, glaring daggers at Kakashi. Then Kakashi moves his attention towards the ANBU holding Sasuke down. ”You too. Hands off!”

The shinobi lets go and Sasuke leaps away from him to rush to Kakashi's side. He nods at Kakashi, moving to stand just slightly behind him. Kakashi grabs Danzou by his shoulders and starts dragging the councillor along with them, holding the sword against the man’s neck as they retreat out of the cell.

”Try anything funny and he dies,” Kakashi growls at the ANBU who remains standing in the farthest corner of the cell.

Just after they get out of the cell and shut the door, Kakashi winces and sways on his feet. Sasuke has barely the time to curse himself for not taking the lead from Kakashi – who is obviously suffering from major blood loss – before Danzou realises his chance has come.

Danzou elbows Kakashi to his stomach, making the copy-nin go down with a moan of pain, and then Danzou breaks free. He swirls around, his hand flying into the hand signs of a fire technique and Sasuke knows that he has to act. He barrels into Kakashi who is kneeling down on the floor and sends them both flying behind an operation desk.

Another ANBU comes through the laboratory door.

”We have to get you out now, Shimura-sama!”

Sasuke risks a glance behind the desk and sees the old councillor clenching his fists. Then Danzou nods and heads toward one of the other desks in the room.

”You might have won your eyes tonight, Uchiha, but you are still going to die,” Danzou shouts and slams his hand down on something. The desk starts to glow, and Sasuke thinks it must have contained a seal of some kind when the glowing light spreads in the room with precise patterns. The whole room lights up as the sigils crawl over the walls and ceiling.

Orochimaru always prided himself on building a self-destruction mechanism in each and every one of his laboratories.

Sasuke catches the sight of Danzou and the ANBUs disappearing through the main door of the hideout, and for a second he considers running after them and having his revenge right there and then.

But then he hears a weak cough on his left and realises that won't do.

Sasuke turns his attention the man next to him.

”Can you move?” he asks and starts to help Kakashi up before the other has the time to answer.

”Yes,” Kakashi hisses through clenched teeth and props himself up. ”Let's go.”

Kakashi throws his arm over Sasuke's shoulder for support, while Sasuke wraps his right arm around Kakashi’s waist and starts dragging them forward. The distance to the door isn't that great, but they are moving slowly and the destructive seal is terribly fast.

Sasuke startles at the sound of an explosion and tries to look back over his shoulder.

”Keep going,” comes the sharp command from Kakashi, and Sasuke forces himself to continue moving despite the fact that the building around them is coming apart.

By the time they reach the door, the room is filled with smoke and fire, and the whole building is rumbling like an earthquake had hit it. Sasuke slams his hand on the door handle but the door won't budge.

”It's locked. Of course it's fucking locked!” he growls and wants to rip someone's head off. Another explosion goes off and the roof comes down in the south corner of the room with thunder. How are they going to get out? This is Orochimaru’s old laboratory – the Sannin must have made sure that nothing would escape through that door, so it’s not worth trying any of his jutsus. 

”Wait,” Kakashi says, rubbing his temples, and leans more heavily against Sasuke. “You have the mangenkyoo sharingan. Can you use amaterasu?”

“Can I use what?”

“Amaterasu. It’s a sharingan-based fire technique that’s supposed to burn anything.”

Sasuke is sure that had things gone differently, he would have heard about that technique from his parents or brother, and not from someone who is not an Uchiha, in a burning building that is about to collapse on him. How is Sasuke supposed to know if he can use a jutsu he has never heard of before?

Then a memory comes to him – what was that jutsu that killed the masked man who told him the truth about Itachi?

“Black flames, right?” he asks out loud and studies the door again. The glow of the fire is colouring the room with shades of red and the temperature is rising – they need to get out now. Guess it’s the time to test whether Tiger’s seal actually did something to his chakra or not.

“I guess so. It doesn’t matter, just try something!”

Kakashi is not exactly helping – he sounds almost angry as he ushers Sasuke to attempt the technique. But Sasuke can also feel how heavily the man is leaning against him. Kakashi can barely stand upright when he has Sasuke to support him, and they are trapped in an underground facility that is soon to be filled with smoke and flames. Unless the roof comes down first. He is probably just as scared as Sasuke.

Sasuke tries to focus on drawing his chakra and concentrating it into his eyes. He pictures the jutsu in his mind – he wants black flames to burn down the door, no, he _needs_ the flames to burn down the door. Everything Team 7 did for him will be in vain if he dies here – everything that Itachi did will be for nothing if Sasuke doesn’t make it through now.

His chakra flares without a hitch – and then there is a piercing pain in his eyes. Warm tears of blood run down Sasuke’s cheeks, and this time it’s Kakashi’s turn to support him. But the door is on fire with his black flames and there is already a hole to be seen in the structure. It’s working.

“Well done,” Kakashi breathes out next to his ear, squeezing his shoulder, and Sasuke can feel him relax just a little against his side.

When the hole in the door is big enough for them to fit through, Sasuke concentrates again and manages to calm down the flames. He helps Kakashi through, climbs after him and ushers them forwards again.

They are running – limping – up the stair when the laboratory room finally gives in. A huge peal accompanies the shaking of the building, and the air is full of dust and black smoke. It’s almost too hot to breathe. Sasuke swears he can see the walls tremble as they hurry upwards.

They storm into the debris-filled room on the ground level of the house, and after a dash though the halls they are finally, _finally_ out of the building.

They stumble a couple dozen feet until Sasuke's feet give out under him. He lands on the ground with a grunt, Kakashi falling down with him, and they both crash down far less elegantly than is usually expected from either of them.

Sasuke turns to look at the ruins of the house they just escaped from. It looks like the building gave up on itself, and after the explosions they heard, there are now flames burning down the last remains of the house.

The sky is still dark and stars are visible over the blaze. Sasuke tries to catch his breath and wonders how soon someone will come to see what is going on. It looks like the whole sky is on fire, and the burning house is like a beacon – somebody is bound to notice the mess they have made.

Sasuke has no idea what drove Danzou away from Konoha right after the old man got the position he has always wanted, but Sasuke hopes that Danzou fleeing means that the village is safe. That Naruto and Sakura are safe.

He leans back on his hands and closes his eyes, sighing deeply. Once again, a day goes by and his family is still to be avenged. But at least he is alive.

They are both alive.

He hears Kakashi shift himself into a better position. Sasuke opens his eyes to study him. Kakashi has removed his mask to make it easier for him to breathe. There's a new, light scar on his right cheek, barely visible, and dark circles under his eyes. His white hair gets almost a golden shade in the warm light of the fire. His dark eyes reflect the glow of the heat when he looks at Sasuke.

Without thinking, Sasuke spins himself on his knees, grabs the man by his shoulders and presses his lips to Kakashi's.

Kakashi is surprised for a second, too stunned to move, but just before Sasuke is about to admit his mistake and move away, he answers the kiss just as intensely. It doesn't take long until the at first rather chaste kiss turns into something else. Soon Sasuke is sitting on Kakashi’s lap, pulling him closer by his shirt, the kiss a frantic clash of teeth and lips and tongues. It’s been ages since anything has felt as real as the warm mouth against his, or the sting of pain from his bruised lips when there’s a pressure against his mouth. One strong arm is wrapped around his waist, while Kakashi cups his cheek with his other hand, tilting Sasuke’s head just a little to deepen the kiss. Sasuke tangles his fingers into the other's light hair.

It's only when his fingers hit the dried blood in Kakashi's hair that he realises what he is doing.

Quite abruptly he pushes himself off Kakashi and scoots back to where he was originally sitting. He feels his cheeks burning as he adamantly keeps his eyes off Kakashi.

”Sorry. Won't happen again,” he mutters, hiding behinds his bangs, all the while screaming at himself in his mind – _Why the hell did he just do that?_ _This is the exact opposite of what they agreed on!_ Sasuke brings his hand up to feel his lower lip – the gash he got from Tiger beating him up has opened now, thanks to kissing Kakashi. Sasuke grimaces at his bloodied fingers. Then he spots another wound on his left arm – he must have got it sometime during their sprint out of the burning building – and focuses on prodding it to keep himself from looking back at Kakashi.

”It's alright,” Kakashi chuckles and Sasuke musters enough courage to glance at him. Kakashi is looking back at him, a lazy lopsided smile on his face and Sasuke’s blood still on his lips. ”It's not like it was the first time either. Though a warning would be nice next time.”

Kakashi grins at his own words and Sasuke is torn between snorting and hitting the man. It’s so typical of this guy to just brush off an intense making-out session after a near-death experience like it’s nothing. Sasuke resorts to fake-glaring, which results only in Kakashi laughing at him some more.

Sasuke leans his chin on his hand and sighs again. Kissing his former teacher aside, there are other things to worry about now.

”Danzou’s gone. He won’t be coming back to Konoha any time soon. How am I supposed to avenge my clan now?”

Kakashi’s whole attitude changes. He straightens his bruised back with a wince, and when he meets Sasuke’s gaze now, his eyes are serious.

”I will say this again – revenge won't make you happy,” Kakashi says, his face as unreadable as if he still had his mask on. Then his expression softens and his voice lowers. “But I won’t make the same mistake twice. If you want to go after him, I won’t make you choose between your family and us. I'm glad that you decided to trust Naruto, Sakura and me to help you. Let us have your back with Danzou this time too.”

Sasuke doesn’t know what to say to that – mostly he just wants to kiss Kakashi again.

”Though I'm still pissed at you for leaving me like that to go after him tonight.”

It’s hard to say how angry Kakashi really is with him when the jounin flashes another laidback smirk at Sasuke before pulling his mask back on. Sasuke rolls his eyes Kakashi with a snort and gets up to his feet. He glances at the burning building and realises that the weapons Danzou and his men took from them must still be in there.

And then, out of nowhere, a masked shinobi appears in front of them.


	11. Scent of Rain

 

_The 10th of August, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_

_9:37PM_

The second the unfamiliar ANBU lands next to them, Sasuke readies himself for battle. He gathers the little chakra his exhausted body can muster and positions himself slightly in front of Kakashi who is still sitting on the ground. Sasuke is getting really tired of these ANBUs appearing out of thin air – by now, every time he catches a flash of the white armour, he is expecting his life to be in danger.

Behind him, Kakashi eyes warily the newcomer, his body tense. Sasuke clenches his fists – Kakashi can barely walk, and Sasuke has no weapons while the masked shinobi is armed to the teeth. Sasuke knows he is a talented ninja, but even his confidence has its limits, and he just reached them.

The ANBU moves. Sasuke’s breath hitches. The ANBU’s movement turns into a respectful bow at Kakashi. To make things even more confusing for Sasuke, Kakashi relaxes at the gesture. The jounin recognizes the shinobi behind the mask, and because he isn’t jumping up to attack the newcomer, Sasuke lets himself calm down too. The ANBU must be on their side.

”Hatake-san,” the ANBU greets Sasuke’s former teacher, and Kakashi raises his hand into a laidback greeting, his eyes closed and the signs of exhaustion apparent on his face. Then the shinobi behind the green-striped mask turns to Sasuke, nodding his head slightly as an acknowledgement. ”Uchiha-san.”

Sasuke doesn’t bother with any greetings – he is more than happy to just stare expressionlessly at the ANBU. He does meet the eyes behind the eagle mask, but that’s it.

Not fazed by Sasuke’s cold attitude, the shinobi addresses Kakashi again.

”Sir, the Fifth Hokage has woken up. The Council has deposed Shimura Danzou and is accusing him of treason and attempted murder against the Fifth. He is yet to be arrested, but our groups are capturing those loyal to him as we speak,” Eagle explains in one quick breath, and Sasuke has a hard time trying to keep up with all the information. A lot has obviously happened since Kakashi and he were taken. But what has caused the Council to change their minds against Danzou so drastically?

Sasuke glances at Kakashi, but he can’t read anything from his expression.

“Has Tsunade been cleared of the charges against her?” Kakashi asks. He questions the shinobi like the ANBU captain he used to be, and apparently the black ops forces are still willing to treat him as one of their high-ranking officers – Eagle launches into answering before Sasuke has time to blink.

“Yes, sir. She will continue as the Hokage as soon as she well enough. The supposed evidence against her was proved false and the circumstances around her attack were suspicious. The ROOT members’ story about her resisting arrest didn’t add up with the injuries she had. It was an assassination attempt and not an arrest like Shimura-san tried to make it seem like.”

Kakashi doesn’t stop to ask details about Tsunade.

“And what about Danzou? Did the Council actually agreed to dethrone him? Is that why he left in such a hurry?”

“Yes, sir. The Fifth’s assistant brought the Council a file that proved that Shimura-san had ordered the Uchiha massacre. The Council wasn’t willing to have him as the Hokage after that.”

Eagle steals a look at the burning building in front of them. The air is filled with the strong smell of smoke and burning wood. Something crashes down in the flaming carcass of the house, sending sparks flying.

There is a slightly nervous tint to Eagle’s voice when addresses Kakashi again.

“Sir, what happened here?”

”My team attacked Danzou, but we lost and got separated. He brought us here to take our sharingans – there was a hidden laboratory under that house. We managed to fight him, but he activated the self-destruction system of the laboratory and fled while we were trying to escape the building,” Kakashi explains, falling back to the experienced shinobi mode of his that is more familiar to Sasuke than the overly-tired look he has been donning lately. Sasuke feels oddly warm that Kakashi doesn't differentiate him from the rest of Team 7 – it’s as if Sasuke has been part of the team all these years without any wayward trips elsewhere.

Kakashi stops to think if he has forgotten anything, blinking at nothing in particular, before he scrunches his eyes closed and sheepishly scratches the back of his head.

“Oh, yes. You should find two of my subordinates in the prison, in the death-row cells. Please go let them out.”

Sasuke snorts under his breath. There’s an awkward second before Eagle manages a hasty nod, not sure if Kakashi is joking. Then he changes the subject.

”Do you require medical attention?”

Sasuke wonders if the man has looked at Kakashi at all if he has to ask that.

”Yes, he does,” Sasuke butts in before Kakashi can get his mouth open – Sasuke doubts that Kakashi hates hospital any less than he did seven years ago – and can almost feel the daggers Kakashi is glaring at his way. Kakashi has been unconscious almost the whole day and looks like a dead man walking. Did he really expect he could avoid going to hospital?

Sasuke is saved from the wrath of his former teacher by a jounin squad that arrives on the scene with their medic in tow. When the medic catches the sight of an awfully pale, still kind of bleeding Kakashi, she starts to usher the copy-nin and Sasuke towards the hospital without a further ado.

Sasuke doesn’t really want to go either because he still needs to go see that Naruto and Sakura are fine, and his own situation is still a big question mark. The last time he checked, he was still sentenced to time in prison, and while Danzou and his grudge against Sasuke have been removed from power and the village, Sasuke still escaped from his cell and beat a bunch of Konoha shinobis while he was at it. He might still end up back behind bars if things go awry.

He is already voicing his objections against going to the hospital – yes, his face is bloody and his nose might be broken, but he is not going to keel over from blood loss like Kakashi – when the medic orders him along. Kakashi adds that it might be a good idea to go along with it and let the village know that he is cooperating now that Danzou’s gone. And if Sasuke is in hospital, he can’t be put back in prison.

Sasuke decides that it would be too annoying to try to escape this squad of ninjas with his head aching and Kakashi looking so miserable. He gives in and tags along when the medic starts steering their group towards the hospital.

Kakashi is taken away to have somebody take a proper look at him, while Sasuke is dropped off to a nurse that tends his scrapes and pokes and prods his sore face for a while. He is informed that nothing is broken, his face is only badly bruised, but he will be alright in a few days. After that Sasuke tries to make a number out of how he isn't even that badly injured and thus shouldn't need to stay. He doesn’t like the hospital any better than his former teacher.

His tirade is interrupted when the Fifth Hokage – still covered in bandages and leaning on a crutch, but otherwise just as scary as always – comes thundering into his room and threatens to throw a sake bottle at Sasuke if he as much as opens his mouth again. With a dirty look thrown at her way, Sasuke decides to accept his fate. At least he gets to laugh at Kakashi who gets himself doomed to bed-rest for a week.

Naruto and Sakura, both relatively unharmed, crash into Sasuke’s hospital room the moment Tsunade finishes examining him. When Sasuke is sure that they both are fine, he glares at them for making him worry. He doesn’t utter a word about why he scowls at them like they have personally offended him, but somehow the idiots seem to get the general idea of it and tease him about having a heart for the next two days straight.

Frustratingly enough, Kakashi is released from the hospital long before Sasuke. He waves smugly at Sasuke when he leaves, winking as he goes, and Sasuke wants to burn him where he stands.

Tsunade doesn’t let Sasuke leave the hospital just yet even though he is physically fine, because he is still a captured missing-nin waiting for judgement and thus should be held in prison. She is going to release him as soon as she can – not because she cares about him that much, but just to declare a final victory over Danzou – and she doesn't want to toss him back into a cell just to wait for a signature on a piece of paper.

With nothing else to do than sit and wait, Sasuke tries to eavesdrop the hospital staff gossiping about what really happened with Danzou. They aren’t that much of a help, but when Team 7 comes to keep him company, they always have news to share.

Apparently, there had been a strong opposition growing against Danzou since Sasuke’s trial, and the villagers of Konoha weren’t happy when Danzou took over. And just as Sasuke suspected, the sudden appearance of incriminating evidence like the letters from Orochimaru sounded too good to be true. The massive opposition against the councillor forced the Council members to take action against Danzou. When the story about Tsunade’s arrest hadn’t added up, the Council members supporting Tsunade had decided to admit that something was going on. The proof about Danzou’s part in the Uchiha massacre had been the final nail on the coffin.

But before Konoha’s forces had managed to seize Danzou, the councillor had heard about the uprising against him and fled. Or to be more precise, had gone after Kakashi’s and Sasuke’s sharingans first, then fled. Now the situation is such that Danzou managed to escape from the village, and while he has been named an enemy of the village and a missing-nin, nobody knows where he is. Search parties have been sent after him, but so far they have found nothing. Also, Konoha’s forces have thinned – all the ROOT members and some of the other ninjas loyal to Danzou left Konoha with Danzou.

Nobody knows if Danzou will try to take over Konoha again – if he is just licking his wounds and waiting for an opportune moment for a second try, or if he has learned from his failure and decided to give up the ambition of becoming Hokage. Realistically, he really doesn’t have any chance of becoming the leader of the village when the citizens hate him so.

Sasuke has no idea if Danzou is holding a grudge against him – if Sasuke hadn’t raised the village against the Councillor, Danzou might just have pulled his coup off. Sasuke is sure that he will face of the old man again, because _he_ isn’t done with Danzou until he has avenged his clan.

 

o0o

 

_The 19th of August_ _, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

Sasuke is sitting in a hallway at the hospital, trying not to die of boredom, when Tsunade walks up to him with her arms full of official documents. The whiteness of the halls and the strong smell of disinfectant make Sasuke think of the time when he was a few weeks from turning eight, and a medic with a sad smile came to tell him that nobody from his clan had survived. It’s not a pleasant memory.

Tsunade flaps the papers and gives him a stern look.

”Uchiha Sasuke,” she says, her tone formal as she assumes her role as the Hokage, and Sasuke has to force himself to keep his face blank, knowing that disrespecting the woman now might end up with him stuck in the hospital for another week or two. He stands up, playing along with the sudden formality.

”You are thereby cleared from your missing-nin status and are reinstated back to your former rank of a shinobi of the Leaf,” Tsunade informs him, her voice a little louder than it necessarily has to be, and hands him a new forehead protector.

Sasuke’s heartbeats pulses in his ears as he takes the forehead protector. He wishes that Naruto was here because he would want to hear this. Everyone from the old Team 7 would want to hear this.

”Thank you,” he manages to say and is surprised how steady his voice sounds. Serving Konoha doesn’t feel good now that he knows what his brother had to go through, but being accepted back to the village still means something.

”I didn't do this for you,” Tsunade claims and Sasuke already knows what she is going to say. ”This is for Naruto and Sakura, because for some unfathomable reason they think you are worth all this hassle.”

”I know,” he answers. He is very well aware of that fact. “This has never been about me. You have to think of your authority as the Hokage, just like you surely did when you agreed to hand me over to Orochimaru.”

Tsunade goes alarmingly pale at his words, but it’s anger that gleams from her eyes.

“If I were you, I would think about my words carefully right now, especially in your situation. You don’t know the facts behind that decision, you don’t even know if it was my decision at all. Danzou and the Elders ganging up on me was more the norm than an exception at that time.”

”Am I free to go?” Sasuke brushes her warning off, not interested in anything she might have to say for herself.

”Yes,” Tsunade answers, her words just as sharp as her eyes, as she snaps the file in her hands shut.

Sasuke pivots around on his feet. He can finally leave this hospital – hell, he can finally do as he pleases without somebody keeping an eye on him.

He manages to get to the staircase at the end of the hall until Tsunade shouts after him.

”Hey, Uchiha!”

Sasuke turns to look at her, not really knowing what to expect from her after accusing her so bluntly.

She grins at him.

”Stand up straight, you are a proud genin of Konohagakure.”

 

o0o

 

During those dull days when Sasuke waited for his release, he had time to wonder about where he would live once he was allowed to walk free. Now the problem has come a reality. He is sure he can sleep on Naruto's or Kakashi's couch for a few days at first, but he needs a more permanent solution after that.

He recalls the map of Konoha Kakashi showed him a few weeks back. There should be lots of apartments for him to rent or buy in the newer parts of the village, and it's not like he doesn’t have the money – being the sole survivor and heir of a whole clan comes in handy at times like this. But Sasuke isn't so sure that there are any landlords willing to take him in. He is an ex-missing-nin, a traitor to the village and an Uchiha on top of that. There has always been a stigma attached to that name and it won’t make things any easier for him now.

Of course there is the Uchiha district, a sizeable part of the village and legally his. Sasuke pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. For understandable reasons, going back there doesn't sound so good. On the other hand, he wants to respect his clan, and somehow letting the whole compound rot unoccupied for decades would go against that.

It doesn’t seem like he has any choice.

Sasuke wanders around the streets of Konoha and finds that not that many people even recognize him anymore. Probably all of them have heard his name several times during the last few months, but his face is foreign to them after almost seven years. He manages to walk down the main street and buy food from the market without anybody paying attention to him. It feels liberating. Sasuke stands there, with a bag of groceries hanging from his arm, wearing another one of Naruto's hideously coloured shirts, and blends in without a hitch.

Tsunade must have been too busy to inform his team of when Sasuke would be released as the three idiots haven't come to bully him yet.

Most of the village’s layout is new to him, as Kakashi said it would be. Sasuke is amazed by the size of the damage Pain managed to inflict on Konoha, and he feels almost sad that this isn't really the same village he used to call his home.

Sasuke walks to the Uchiha district and ducks down under the _keep out_ tapes that cross over the gate. He has been here once before since his return, yes, but it was night time and he had his mind busy with trying to stay alive at that time. Now he has time to walk down every street with slow steps and look at the changes time has brought to his home.

Sasuke spends the whole day in the district, all by himself. He had forgotten how silent it is there – the lively sounds from other parts of the village don't get carried all the way to the Uchihas’ and that makes the whole place feel more eerie than it already is.

The last place Sasuke visits is his old home. He opens the front door and steps in, leaving his shoes at the door as if his mother was still there to nag about them.

”I'm home,” he says out of a habit and counts the spider webs as he goes through the house. It's just like he left it seven years ago, and he wonders how he could live alone in this house with the ghosts of his family for five years without becoming crazy.

No, crazier than he is.

Dust tickles his lungs as he studies the house. Sasuke leaves his parents' room alone and decides that peeking into Itachi's won't change anything. He won't find his brother there. He picks up his shoes and walks out.

He wants to start a new page in his life and living in his old home won't fit into that.

 

o0o

 

After a few hours of searching, Sasuke finds a small house at the edge of the district. He vaguely remembers that it had been built for a young couple who never got to move in it before the massacre occurred. It's a house nobody has lived in, nobody has been killed in, and Sasuke thinks he might have found his new home.

He hustles a while with the key ring he got from the clerks at the Hokage Tower after bugging them about his paperwork the whole morning, and finally finds the right key. The door opens without a screech, and Sasuke finds himself in a house empty of furniture and blood stains. Dust is the one thing he seems to have more than enough.

Sasuke walks through all the rooms and tests the stairs leading up to the next floor. From the window of the master bedroom he can see the view of the sun setting over the village.

He hadn’t even realised how late it is.

He can't stay here for the night. Sasuke removes the key to the house from the ring and locks the door after himself. He pockets the key and tries to recall where the gap in the wall surrounding the compound is. It turns out that the hole is conveniently close to the house. Sasuke stumbles upon it almost accidentally – he expected it to be farther away. Now he has a quick way out that saves him the trouble of walking all the way to the district gate.

With a quick pulse of chakra to his feet, he jumps onto the roof of a nearby building and tries to place himself on the map Kakashi made him memorize. The village is calming down as the night slowly nears, and the sunset colours the buildings with warm shades of red and orange. Since Naruto's apartment is on the other side of the village and Sakura is still living with her parents, Sasuke decides to head for Kakashi's place. He runs over the rooftops just because he can, enjoying his new freedom and the light breeze of wind, and for once lets his chakra pulse free as he flies over the village.

Soon Sasuke finds himself standing in front of an apartment building he doesn't recognize. He guesses that Kakashi's old place got destroyed in the attack because this address is in a complete different direction than his old one. When Sasuke spots the familiar name in the resident list, he jogs the stairs up to the right floor. He counts the numbers on the doors and knocks on the one he thinks is right.

It takes Kakashi so long to come open the door that by the time he appears at the doorway, Sasuke is already planning to give up and go to bother Naruto. When Kakashi finally gets the door open, he stares at Sasuke like he doesn't expect him to be there. Judging by the messy state of his hair and his rumpled clothes he had been sleeping – probably fallen asleep on the couch with one of his books.

”Did they let you go already?” comes Kakashi's question, his voice raspy with sleep, as he steps aside and lets Sasuke in. He lowers the hand he has been holding over his maskless face and that makes Sasuke do a double take.

”This morning,” Sasuke answers as he removes his shoes and tries not to trip over his feet because it’s still such a surprise to see Kakashi baring his face so casually around him.

Kakashi hums at him and leans against the wall, watching Sasuke struggle against his shoes with a sleepy smile on his face. Sasuke has a hard time looking away from him, because it is so weird to see expression spread over his whole face. Sasuke has seen Kakashi without his mask a couple of times now, but he never really got the chance to really study his features like this.

Sasuke had never thought Kakashi would be so easy to read once the mask is removed.

”Where have you been this whole time then?” comes a question from Kakashi, along with a yawn hidden behind his hand.

”At home. Checking out houses. I need a place to stay.”

”Found anything interesting?” Kakashi asks and leads Sasuke into the kitchen, throwing a glance at him that was probably originally meant to be nonchalant, but the timing of it makes it obvious that he cares about Sasuke’s answer quite a deal. Sasuke finding a home means that he will stay.

”I think so. I'll show you guys tomorrow,” Sasuke tells Kakashi as he sits down at the table and inspects the room. The kitchen is light and bigger than Sasuke had expected it to be, considering the overall size of the apartment. The whole place is a huge upgrade from the cramped single-room flat Kakashi had inhabited when Sasuke used to visit him from time to time years ago. Finally Kakashi is living in somewhere where his eight dogs will actually fit in. The slightly too bright shade of creamy yellow is not the colour Sasuke would have picked for his own kitchen, and there is a mighty pile of dishes waiting at the counter, but otherwise it is a nice, cosy room.

Kakashi sits down opposite him, leaning his elbows on the table. It’s only just after he has sat down that he seems to remember how to play a good host.

”Do you want something?” he asks and vaguely points at the kitchen cabinets, but makes no move to get up from his seat. Luckily for him, Sasuke shakes his head as an answer.

”I was wondering if I could stay the night here,” Sasuke asks instead, keeping his eyes little bit off Kakashi, not sure what he will think of his request, especially after all that has been going on between the two of them.

Kakashi doesn’t seem to mind or think anything odd about it.

”Yeah, sure. The dogs might pop in but don't mind them,” he says and stretches his arms over his head. His back gives a loud _crack_ sound that makes Sasuke cringe. ”So what's the plan?”

”The plan?”

”You have been looking for a house. I gather that you're planning on staying in Konoha, at least for a while. Not going to escape in the middle of the night on a hunt for revenge?”

Sasuke glares at him while Kakashi just raises an eyebrow. With a sigh Sasuke leans his head on his hand.

”Yes, I'm going to stay. At least until I know what I want to do. And yes, I'll let you know before I embark on my revenge hunt.”

Kakashi snorts and leans his head on his hand, still trying to get himself awake as he keeps blinking slowly at Sasuke, and hides another yawn behind his hand.

“Are you sure it’s good for you to go back to the compound? You will be all alone in there,” Kakashi asks. Then he gives in and gets up, going to make himself tea to stay awake.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t say it was a good idea,” Sasuke answers and watches Kakashi move around the kitchen, preparing the tea. “But I don’t think I have any choice.”

At that Kakashi stops what he is doing and turns around to look at Sasuke, steadying himself against the counter.

“Landlords are bound to turn you away, aren’t they?” he sighs and shift his weight from one foot to another. He tugs his rumpled shirt and takes a long, serious look at Sasuke. “I’ll guess we have to help you move in then,” he says in the end and saves the boiling kettle from the stove.

He fishes two mugs from the shelves and places one in front of Sasuke.

“The Hokage made you a shinobi of Leaf again, didn’t she?” Kakashi asks as he pours hot water into the mugs and pushes a box containing a cheap tea collection towards Sasuke.

“She did.”

Kakashi slumps back into his chair and wraps his fingers around the steaming mug. He tilts his head to his side and furrows his brows at Sasuke who makes the mistake of tasting the too hot tea.

As Sasuke mends his burned lower lip, Kakashi starts the conversation again.

“There is something else bothering you, isn’t there? Something happened with Danzou.”

Sasuke sighs and lowers his head, hiding his eyes behind the curtain of his hair. The tea in his mug is of an ugly shady of yellowish-brown and he whirls his spoon in the mug as tries to come up with an answer. He has no idea to what Kakashi is referring to – to Sasuke choosing to save Kakashi’s life instead of taking Danzou’s when he had the chance or something else.

“You seemed so surprised that your chakra worked,” Kakashi says slowly. “As if you were expecting it not to. Is my seal still bothering you?”

Sasuke tries to hide his sigh of relief behind his mug.

“One of his men casted a jutsu on me that was supposed – and I quote – end my career as a shinobi. No idea what that means, but I guess it didn’t work, ‘cos there’s nothing wrong with me.”

“Tsunade did a full check-up on you at the hospital, didn’t she? She didn’t say anything was out of the ordinary?” Kakashi asks, leaning forwards, any remnants of sleep gone.

“She said I was fine,” Sasuke says. In his life, he has learned to always expect the worst, but this time it really seems that he got lucky.

“Well, let’s hope it stays that way.” Kakashi states and places his hand on the table, pushing himself up from his chair, and chucks down the rest of his tea. Then he yawns again.

”Maybe it's time to go to bed. We can talk about this tomorrow.”

Sasuke stands up too, a yawn of his own trying to creep on his face. It’s been a long day.

Kakashi leads him back to the hall and then peeks into the living room.

”No dogs. Good.” Then he turns to Sasuke. ”You can sleep on the couch, there should be spare blankets in here somewhere.”

With that Kakashi heads to the bedroom, supposedly on the hunt for blankets.

Sasuke takes a hesitant look at the couch. It’s lumpy and covered in dog hair – it’s the same old thing that Kakashi had stuffed into his former apartment. It seems worn but not that uncomfortable – if he tilts his head sideways and squints his eyes.

Sasuke sighs and closes his eyes, his eyelids already feeling too heavy. He crosses his arms over his chest, trying to keep his tired body warm. He didn’t sleep well at the hospital and venturing around the district was tiring.

Kakashi comes back with an armful of blankets and lays them on the couch.

“I’m in the next room if you need anything. And if this thing is too uncomfortable to sleep on, I think the bed is big enough for us both. I don’t mind sharing. Do whatever you want.”

There’s a quick touch on Sasuke’s shoulder and then Kakashi is out of the room.

Sasuke is still trying to process his words. He tries not to read too much into them, but there is still an embarrassing part of him that really wants to go after Kakashi. He tries to avoid thinking about it altogether and climbs onto the couch, burying himself into a cocoon of blankets.

It’s just as uncomfortable as he feared it would be. Sasuke spends a good few minutes turning and rolling on the couch, trying to find a position that would feel even remotely bearable. He doesn’t understand how Kakashi hasn’t thrown out this thing yet. Considering the amount of dog hair he spots on it, Sasuke guesses that the pack occupies the couch more than Kakashi does, and that would explain a lot.

Exhaustion kicks in and Sasuke gives up. He closes his eyes and tries to relax, deliberately slowing down his breathing. It wasn’t necessarily being in a hospital that made him have a hard time falling asleep, but the memories of those nightmares he had while Danzou had him imprisoned. Itachi hadn’t haunted his dreams since that night at the cave, but that one day spent in that murky underground laboratory with all of his friends’ lives in danger has brought the nightmares back. Now Sasuke dreads falling asleep – he expects to wake up in that tiny cell to find Kakashi bleeding to death and Tiger standing on the other side of the bars, laughing at him that Naruto and Sakura have been killed.

Sasuke snaps his eyes open, his quick intake of breath harsh in his ears. He looks at the clock on the wall – it’s been almost half an hour since Kakashi went to bed. Sasuke wonders if he is still awake. Then, with his mind plagued by nightmares and memories, he contemplates whether he will allow himself to go check if Kakashi is still breathing.

Sasuke stares at the clock. The hands are moving slowly and the noises the clock makes are loud. Now that he started to listen to the rhythmic ticking, he is never going to fall asleep.

The couch is beyond uncomfortable.

Kakashi did say he wouldn’t mind sharing the bed.

To hell with it. Sasuke gets up from the couch, grabs his own blanket and marches to the bedroom, holding the blanket close to his chest to keep it from dragging on the floor.

From the darkness of the bedroom Kakashi blinks one sleepy eye open to glance at him.

“Scoot over,” Sasuke tells him, pretending that this isn’t a big deal. He has had sex with this man, actually sleeping in the same bed with him can’t possibly mean a thing at this point. Right?

Kakashi rolls himself to the farther side of the bed, pulling the covers over himself as if there is nothing weird in all of this. He falls back asleep almost immediately, his breathing slowing down as soon his head hits the pillow. Sasuke stares at his back for a few seconds, then at the bed he is supposed to sleep in. He doesn’t really know what to think.

Fuck, he came all the way here, so he might as well go through with it.

With a sigh Sasuke lies down on the bed, curling himself on the warm spot where Kakashi was sleeping a minute ago. The bed is just big enough for them to lie next to each other without touching, and the sheets smell faintly of laundry detergent and the man next to him. Sasuke really tries not to think of the kiss from a week ago.

It’s almost alarming how easily he falls asleep.


	12. Clear Skies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Team 7.

 

_The 20th of August, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

Sasuke wakes up slowly.

It’s been a while since a morning has felt this pleasant – he has a hard time trying to recall when he last had the chance to just lie in bed and not stress about anything. Summer might already be turning towards autumn and these couple warm days are probably the last for the year, but right now, under his blankets, Sasuke is warm and comfortable and in no hurry to get up.

But all good thing must come to an end, and gradually his mind catches up with the situation. _Where is he?_

Sasuke opens his eyes and squints at his surroundings in confusion. It takes a few seconds of bewilderment and a quick glance at his former teacher sleeping next to him before Sasuke registers where exactly he is. Then there is the hesitant moment of him wondering if he should be embarrassed about this whole thing and to try to slip away before Kakashi wakes up. Sasuke bites his lip. After another awkward second or two he decides to stay – he has been there the whole night, a couple of minutes here or there won’t make any difference at this point. Sasuke has nowhere to be this morning either, so he is quite content to stay right where he is. It’s his first morning out of imprisonment since April, so he might just as well enjoy it.

The sun is shining behind the shut window blinds, just faint light shimmering through. Kakashi’s apartment is close enough to the centre of the village that the sounds of people getting up and about are carried all the way here, their busy chatter down on the streets is the first thing to fill the air in the morning.

Kakashi looks so young in his sleep.

Sasuke is still blinking at this new discovery, half-panicking about the fact that he keeps paying attention to these things, when the bedroom door opens. Surprised, Sasuke sits up, his left hand reaching towards the nightstand in the hope of that Kakashi might have hidden a kunai in there.

One of Kakashi's ninken peeks into the room, and when the dog spots him, it gives Sasuke an exasperated roll of its eyes. Sasuke relaxes when he realises he has seen the summon animal before – Kakashi made the pack babysit Team 7 from time to time when the jounin had something more important to do, or if he was in the middle of a particularly interesting chapter of one his books. Sasuke swears he can hear the dog mumble something along the lines of ”Why _that_ one?” as it backs out of the room, throwing dirty looks at Kakashi on its way. Sasuke almost wants to run after it because this is not what it looks like – except it kind of is.

Sasuke slumps back down on his back on the bed and slams his hands over his face. He scrunches his eyes shut and takes a deep breath through his nose. He has just been disapproved of by a talking dog.

His life was so much simpler before he got involved with his sensei.

With a sigh, Sasuke drops his hands from his face and turns to glare at the man in question. Somehow this has to be Kakashi's fault.

His white eyelashes are longer than Sasuke remembered. The age-old scar that runs all the way down over his left cheek is silver near his mouth, like old scars tend to be – Sasuke too has a tiny white scar somewhere near his right knee from scratching his leg on a rock when he was maybe four.

Even though Sasuke has seen Kakashi’s face a couple of times already, it’s still hard to remember little details when you don't see under the mask every day, and for a moment Sasuke seriously contemplates on imprinting the sight of the man’s features on his memory with his sharingan just for the sake of it.

”You're staring,” Kakashi murmurs, his eyes still closed, and gives Sasuke a good startle.

”I'm glaring,” Sasuke scowls back, trying to hide the annoying feeling that he is walking on thin ice here. He doesn’t have the faintest idea of what they are to each other now days. To be honest, Sasuke hasn’t got a clue what he wants them to be.

”It's the same thing,” Kakashi answers and slowly opens his mismatched eyes to look at Sasuke. There’s a lopsided grin on his face. ”Can't get enough of my handsome face?”

Sasuke grabs his pillow and hits Kakashi with it.

”As if,” he grunts and escapes from the room to hide the blush creeping on his face before Kakashi can shout anything after him.

Sasuke is rummaging through the kitchen cabinets, trying to find some food for breakfast, when Kakashi finally deigns to walk into the room, his bare feet barely making any sound on the floor. His ruffled hair is a far worse mess than it usually is. He rubs his eyes with his right hand and gives Sasuke an easy smile. Sasuke doesn’t quite manage not to stare at him, and he is sure that Kakashi is taking some perverse pleasure in having Sasuke still gaping at his bare face.

Sasuke refuses to ask Kakashi where his mugs and plates are, and that’s why he has to spend a good while going through the cabinets while Kakashi sits down at the table and studies him with a quirked eyebrow. Sasuke lets out a victorious “Ha!” under his breath when he finds what he is looking for, piling the cups and spoons into his arms. When he turns around and catches a glimpse of Kakashi, the jounin is already reading the newspaper of the morning with one of his dogs napping at his feet. Sasuke wouldn’t be that surprised if Kakashi had trained the ninken to bring the paper for him.

With his hands full of things for his breakfast, Sasuke lands himself on a chair at the table. He is having this weird morning-after feeling with all this cosy having-breakfast-together-after-waking-up-in-the-same-bed-thing going on, but he tries his best to ignore it. At least this is far easier and less awkward than their actual morning-after – Sasuke hasn’t been hit in the face with a sweater. Yet.

After Sasuke gets himself full of coffee, he glances again at Kakashi who has gone oddly quiet with his gaze glued to the newspaper.

“What is it?”

Kakashi hands him the paper without a word. That makes Sasuke lower his coffee mug on the table and snatch the newspaper. He has to scan the page for a few seconds before he finds the part Kakashi was reading so intently.

There is an official notification from the Council about Danzou and the reasons of his banishment from the village. To be more precise, it’s all about his involvement in the Uchiha massacre. The only problem with it is that the Council has decided to dump all the blame on Danzou and Danzou alone – there isn’t a word about the village’s approval of Itachi’s mission or a mention about the Third’s agreement not to stop all of it from happening. There’s no apology for the discrimination the Uchihas faced through the years. All the note does is paint Danzou as a lunatic who organised a genocide all by himself without the leaders of Konoha knowing anything.

The Council doesn’t want to admit that Konoha had any part in the massacre. 

To be fair, Sasuke has been blaming Danzou the most ever since he heard the truth, and the councillor is the one he wants to kill to avenge his family. The Third is long gone, and if Sasuke really wants to stay in Konoha with Team 7, he can’t even think of touching the Elders now. But since Konoha has made Danzou its enemy, it means that he can now be hunted without consequences.

But despite everything, Konoha is still trying to hide behind the guise of a rightful village that looks down on the other major shinobi villages and their poor treatment of their ancient clans, while they are no better in any way. It might stand there on the newspaper for all the public to read that Itachi wasn’t crazy or a bloodthirsty traitor, but the fact that killing the Uchiha clan was a mission assigned by the village is still a secret. The villagers will think that a child was blackmailed into murdering his family by an insane old man – they will never understand that Itachi choose to sacrifice everything to prevent a civil war.

They still won’t see Itachi as the hero he was.

Sasuke is still not free.

He barely manages to stop himself from violently hurling his mug on the floor. After stealing both Kakashi’s couch and his bed, Sasuke doesn’t really want to start destroying his things too. Instead, he buries his face in his hands, his fingers almost digging into his eyes. Sasuke can feel his blood pressure rising – his head is aching and his heartbeat pulses painfully on his neck. Once again, he seriously considers just leaving, and for good this time. Never to look back and to never set a foot back anywhere near the Great Shinobi Countries.

And this morning started so well.

Sasuke can hear Kakashi’s chair scrape against the floor as the man rises to lean over the table. He tentatively wraps his fingers around Sasuke’s wrist.

“Hey,” Kakashi whispers and tugs his arm until Sasuke lowers his hands and meets Kakashi’s eyes. “We are going to fix this.”

“What is there to be fixed? Konoha is never going to change. The Council is never going to admit that the village is responsible of the massacre.”

“Since when have you been a quitter?” Kakashi quips back, knowing that riling Sasuke up is the only way to get him to do this. “The Council covering this up is not fair to you nor to Itachi.”

Sasuke calms himself down enough to listen to Kakashi instead of plotting the absolute destruction of Konohagakure. He blows wayward hairs from his face and crosses his arms over his chest when Kakashi lets go of him.

Kakashi’s gaze stays solemnly focused on Sasuke.

“Itachi was in my ANBU team a while, a few years before the massacre. I probably should have noticed that something was going. I owe him to at least make this right.”

“It’s not your fault,” Sasuke manages to answer, his voice tight and words clipped. Kakashi couldn’t have done anything that would have made any difference anyway.

“But you don’t have to do this alone. We are going to fix this, just like you guys planned to change the whole system.”

“How?” Sasuke asks and slumps against the backrest of the chair. He laughs. “Okay, we could plan a coup of our own, kill the Elders and half of the Council, dump Naruto on the Hokage seat and wish for the best. I don’t really see any other option as long as the Council has the power.”

“We’ll think of something,” Kakashi promises and gives him a careful smile. “Let’s let the dust settle first, though. You just got home. The village is still a mess after so many turning traitor and fleeing with Danzou. This is not the time to start a new fight.”

Sasuke sighs and gives in. He has sought justice for his clan over a decade now, what does a couple of weeks or months mean at this point?

He pushes the newspaper back to Kakashi’s side of the table, he wants nothing to do with it anymore. There has been enough of bad news for the day already and he just woke up.

The rich scent of coffee is still lingering in the air. Kakashi gets up from the table to turn on a radio he has sitting on the countertop. The only thing it does is to crackle a little, and Kakashi has to give a good punch to the crappy old thing before it starts to sound right.

“So, are we going to check out your new home today?” Kakashi asks with the cheery fake smile returning to his face. The obvious distraction attempt is obvious, but Sasuke lets it slide this one time.

“I guess so. We should probably get Naruto and Sakura too – the place was a real mess. I don’t want to clean it up on my own.”

“You didn’t see them yesterday at all, did you?”

“No.”

“They are going to murder you,” Kakashi laughs, not the slightest bit sorry.

Sasuke grunts at him and stands up, nearly tripping over the dog that is still sleeping on the floor. He mumbles something under his breath as he dumps his dishes on the sink.

“What was that?” Kakashi asks with an infuriatingly knowing look on his face.

“You need a new couch,” Sasuke repeats, louder this time, hiding behind his hair and sneering at nothing in particular.

“What’s wrong with the old one?” Kakashi continues and pretends to be scandalised, his voice rising high at the end of the question.

“It’s lumpy and full of dog hair. I can’t understand how you can sit on it, let alone sleep on the thing.”

“Do you seriously want me to get rid of your only excuse to get into my bed again?”

This man is impossible. Caught by surprise, Sasuke tries to stammer something clever to that, but in the end he has to resort to an irked “Get lost”. He is totally baffled by the peculiar stage of their relationship – apparently, they can now sleep in the same bed and joke about having sex.

Kakashi chuckles at his flustered reaction.

“Sorry, sorry, didn’t mean to get you all bothered,” he offers, raising both of his hands up as a sign of peace.

“Of course you did,” Sasuke growls back. That earns him a weak, guilty smile.

It’s still far too early to start unwrapping things as complicated as their relationship.

“Let’s just get going,” Sasuke huffs and leaves washing the dishes to Kakashi, sneaking out of the kitchen to go shower and steal a shirt from the man’s closet – he really needs to go buy some new clothes for himself.

 

o0o

 

They don’t get that far from Kakashi’s home before they run into Naruto and Sakura. Their two teammates are chatting with Ino in front of the Yamanaka flower shop when Naruto spots Kakashi and Sasuke walking down the street. He raises a hand to point a finger at Sasuke and lets out an incomprehensible yell that Sasuke assumes was supposed to be a greeting of a kind. Sakura turns too and something dangerous gleams in her eyes when her gaze lands on the pair of them.

“You!” They both shout at Sasuke, fists raised, and Sasuke gets the faint inkling that it might be a good idea to run.

“I think that was for you,” Kakashi comments from his left and stops in his tracks, leaving Sasuke to deal with their crazed teammates.

“Coward,” Sasuke hisses at him just before he is attacked by his own teammates.

“Sasuke! How could you?” Naruto whines and drapes himself all over Sasuke, drowning him in a bear hug. “We went to see at the hospital this morning and the nurses told us that you had been released _yesterday_!”

“You should have told us!” Sakura cues in and punches him playfully on his shoulder, though with her strength the hit makes Sasuke cringe in pain.

“You do realise it’s been only a day since you last saw me, not years?” Sasuke grunts and tries to push both of his teammates off him.

“This is a question about principles, Sasuke,” Sakura laughs and hooks an arm around his neck while Naruto sticks himself even closer to his side.

“We are never letting go of you again,” Naruto mumbles against his chest with a mad grin on his face, and Sasuke is starting to get slightly nervous. Maybe he should have brought the idiots along on the house hunt if avoiding them means they start clinging onto him like leeches.

Kakashi deems it safe enough to come closer.

“Yes, Sasuke-kun, you should totally have told them,” he says from behind a book he has pulled out from his pocket, a fake disapproving look plastered on his face.

“Oh, you can go fuck – “

“ _And you!_ ” Sakura snaps into attention and glares at their former teacher. “You just went along with him hiding from us!”

“It’s really not my fault – “

“ _Lies!_ ” Naruto howls from his position in Sasuke’s reluctant arms while Sakura crackles her knuckles at Kakashi.

“Sasuke made me do it,” Kakashi blurts out then, words hasty, and joins Naruto and Sakura’s bandwagon without batting an eye, that traitor. Sasuke glares daggers at him while Naruto starts hurling another batch of “How could you?”s at his direction.

And Sasuke came back to Konoha for them.

“You know, I’m going to leave the village now, see you guys in another ten years – “ he starts and tries to rid himself of his clingy teammates. That results only in Naruto and Sakura tightening their hold on him.

“Sasukeeee ~ ! Where were you yesterday?” Naruto asks, eyes scrunched shut and his sun-bleached hair shining.

“Looking for a new home.”

“Really?” 

“Yes, Naruto, really. Now get off me,” he huffs and finally manages to untangle himself from the grip of his friends.

“Sasuke, that’s mean,” Naruto whines but Sasuke doesn’t particularly care. They have wasted enough time fooling around. He stars to walk towards the Uchiha district, but the lack of annoying idiots running after him makes him glance behind him.

”Are you guys coming?” Sasuke shouts over his shoulder when his teammates remain standing where they are, with only Kakashi making any effort to come after him.

”Where are we going?” Naruto asks, flabbergasted, apparently not knowing how to walk and talk at the same time.

”To fix my new home,” Sasuke answers and gives up on waiting. He knows that if the blond is given enough time, he will soon be running to catch him, and he isn't disappointed. Only a moment later Naruto barrels into him and throws an arm around his shoulders as Sakura jogs to catch up to Kakashi.

”You know, we could bring my minions along too,” Naruto states.

”Your what?”

”My minions, my midgets. My _team_ , Sasuke!” Naruto whines into his ear and gives Sasuke a wounded look, slamming his free hand over his heart. Sasuke had already forgotten that Naruto has become a jounin sensei. ”How could you forget my team?”

”No,” Sasuke scoffs and puts a stop to Naruto's plan immediately. ”I don't want any genins near my house, yours or not. _Especially_ not your genins.”

”But Sasuke, aren't you technically still a genin too?” Kakashi, that bastard, butts in with a hand raised to his chin. There is that annoying glint in his eyes again. ”Isn't that quite contradictory?”

Naruto's eyes light up like the sun when he realises that he in fact outranks his best friend. Sakura looks like she is going to die any time soon from trying not to laugh out loud.

”I don't want _you_ anywhere near my house either,” Sasuke hisses back at Kakashi.

He regrets it immediately when he sees Kakashi’s expression. 

”Don't!” Sasuke growls at him before Kakashi can make any kind of obscure comment about where exactly Sasuke spent last night. After all the more or less lewd jokes thrown at him during the course of this morning, he doesn’t count on Kakashi keeping his mouth shut.

”I wasn't going to say anything!” Kakashi whines and pretends to look hurt. Sasuke scowls at him while his two teammates laugh uncontrollably around him.

It’s good to be home.

 

o0o

 

With the four of them working on the large house, it gets cleaned up relatively quickly. It takes a few days of dusting and cleansing about every surface they come across before they march to the village market to buy furniture for the house with the money Sasuke inherited from his clan. After another day or two of assembling the pieces together and moving the furniture from one room to another while having loud arguments about the art of interior design, the house starts to become liveable.

While they work on the house, Sasuke sticks with staying the nights at either Kakashi’s or Naruto’s. He can’t help but compare the two experiences – in one place ramen, Naruto’s constant babbling, more ramen, a messy apartment, even more ramen, and waking up on Naruto’s couch to the blond singing horribly off-key as he clatters and rattles around in the kitchen – while the nights he spends at Kakashi’s are full of bad puns, dog hair, tea, comfortable silences and a weird kind of companionship. Apart from the first night, Sasuke spends the nights on the couch – as the days pass by, the nightmares fade away and he gets used to the awful couch. He is sure that Kakashi wouldn’t mind him sneaking back to the bed, but Sasuke doesn’t quite find the courage in himself.

But Sasuke’s short life of couch surfing is about to end soon, he notes when he stands at the hall of the cleaned-up house. He wipes sweat off his forehead and places his hands on his hips. Sasuke looks around the place and finds himself surprisingly content on their work. Maybe this place could be a home. An actual home after many years.

Sakura walks up to him, a glass of water in her hand and a hammer in the other.

”You know, the chuunin exams are held in Konoha this year,” she says and hands him the glass. “The first round is next month.”

He hums his thanks at her and waits for her to continue.

”I don't think Tsunade-shishou is going to make you a chuunin just like that, so you may have to get promoted in the regular way.”

”Yeah, I wasn't counting on the Fifth for that,” he admits and shifts his weight from one foot to another.

”Maybe they can find a genin team missing a member for you. Just saying,” Sakura adds and grabs the empty glass from his hand. She disappears to the kitchen, and Sasuke hears her yell at Naruto for making a mess where she just cleaned.

He really doesn't want to be a genin anymore. It's embarrassing – all the other members of the original Team 7 are already jounins, for crying out loud! He needs to get into those exams.

If he remembers correctly, the team leaders handled the registrations last time.

Sasuke marches to the living room where Kakashi is making final fixes on the new bookshelf. Kakashi turns to look at him when Sasuke clears his throat.

”Could you get me into the chuunin exams?”

 

o0o

 

Uchiha Sasuke, age a few months over twenty, is placed on a team with two thirteen-year-old genins whose third teammate decided that being a ninja wasn't what he actually wanted after a few D-rank missions. Sasuke almost murders Naruto when he won't stop howling after he hears the news. Sasuke’s new teammates, two girls whose names he doesn't bother to learn, keep fangirling over him, and Sasuke also plans on the murder of his former sensei who arranged him this miserable excuse of a genin team.

Sasuke trains with the girls for a few weeks before the exams, not because he really needs to train to beat a bunch of _genins_ , but to learn how to keep the girls alive. Kakashi made him swear that he wouldn't kill the girls. Then he made Sasuke promise that he wouldn’t leave the genins on their own either. In the end, Sasuke was given the ultimatum that if he ever wants to become a chuunin, both girls will have to be alive and in a relatively good shape to participate in the third round of the exams.

The first round is very similar to the one from seven years ago, Sasuke notes, when he gets a paper full of questions in front of his face. This time he can answer all the questions himself without really even trying. He is quite pleased to notice that one of the girls from his replacement team has got the idea of the test by herself and is happily scribbling her answers away. The other one seems to be clever enough to know the answers without cheating.

They pass the written part with flying colours.

 

o0o

_The 10th of September, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

The Forest of Death is much smaller and less deadly than Sasuke remembered, and most of the time he feels more like a babysitter than a competitor as he tries to keep his genins under control. Their team gets the earth scroll from the gates, and they are lucky enough to come across a team with a heaven scroll on their first try. The little genins they ambush are scared shitless when Sasuke flashes his sharingan at them, and the scroll is practically tossed into their arms.

With Sasuke ushering the girls forward and stopping all the pitiful ambush attempts the other contestants try to arrange on them, they are making a good process towards the tower they are supposed to reach to finish their task. Sasuke thinks that had he been here all by himself, he would have got to their destination already, but the young girls are his responsibility – and Kakashi will kill him if he lets something to happen to them.

When the day starts turning towards the night, he decides that the genins have earned themselves a break for the night. They find shelter up in the massive trees, a natural alcove created by the enormous branches intertwining with each other. Sasuke commands the girls to secure their little hideout as he starts to fish food from his backpack, and when he checks their traps, he is quite pleased to notice that his genins aren’t as incompetent as he had originally feared. Satisfied with the girls’ work, he volunteers to take the first watch shift for the night and lets the genins sleep.

The thick branches full of leaves hide the starry sky behind them and the forest floor is dark beneath their hiding place. There’s a cool breeze whispering in the air, and the silence of the forest is broken only by the soft noises of the little girls snoring. Sasuke plays with a small, dry stick he picked from the ground earlier, an absentminded movement of his fingers as he studies the sleeping woods around him.

The forest seemed so much scarier seven, almost eight years ago. It was somewhere around here that he was ambushed by Orochimaru for the first time, and the memory of that particular encounter still makes shivers run down his spine. Alarmed by that thought he takes a better look in the darkness, the sharingan spinning into his eyes to make him see clearer.

It’s only the wildlife of the forest he detects, the constant movement of insects and birds. The bigger lifeforms of the giant worms and beasts are a stronger presence through his chakra-filled eyes but Sasuke knows that as long as he and the girls don’t bother the animals, they will be left alone.

The stick snaps apart in his fingers and he almost flinches because of the sharp noise. Sasuke calms himself down, checking the girls are where they are supposed to be, huddled together, only faint snoring to be heard coming from them.

It’s so weird to think that only a month or so ago, Sasuke was still in prison and the man he has sworn to kill was lobbying himself towards running the village. And now Sasuke is here, play-fighting with these children while Danzou is on the run somewhere in the vast Ninja Countries. But then Sasuke thinks of Naruto smiling at him, his hand clasping Sasuke’s own, Sakura nearly glowing as she punches people to keep him safe, and Kakashi, with his face bare, lazily smiling at him over a cup of tea during one of the mornings Sasuke used to vacate his couch.

There is no way Sasuke is going to leave them again.

Something snaps again and this time it's not the piece of dry wood in his hands.

Sasuke freezes in his place, his breath stuck in his throat as he glances around, trying to locate the origin of the new sound. Something flickers in the corner of his eye, and when he turns his head around to look over his shoulder, there’s a massive chakra signature headed towards his direction. Whoever it is, they are trying to mask their chakra, but they can’t hide from the sharingan.

Sasuke feels dread falling over him as he realizes that the chakra is way too defined and strong to belong to a genin, and the incomer is headed too surely towards their little camp for it to be a coincidence.

With hurried steps, Sasuke runs to the girls. He shakes them awake and presses a finger over his lips to keep them quiet. They stare at him with wide eyes, both scared by the sudden change in his demeanour – he has gone from grumpy but still kind of funny to complete serious, and by now the girls know that Sasuke doesn’t bother to use his sharingan against the other genins unless it’s to scare them. The fact that he has it activated now means that something dangerous is going on.

“Hide yourselves and don’t come out until I sign it’s all clear,” Sasuke whispers, all the while stealing worried glances towards the figure headed towards them. For once the girls do as he tells them without any whining, and disappear into the treetops, hiding their chakra the best they can, and in that moment Sasuke would be proud of them if he had time for it.

He braces himself for the incomer.


	13. Airborne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someday I'm probably going to snap and start writing this thing in my native language. You guys wouldn't understand a thing, but at least I would get the grammar right. Why is writing in English so difficult?

 

_The 10th of September, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

The enemy shinobi emerges from the shadows of the forest.

The stranger doesn’t bother to waste time with trading insults – a kunai is thrown at Sasuke’s way to serve as a distraction, and as Sasuke steps away from the weapon’s path, the owner of the kunai attacks him head on. The man is a whirlwind of taijutsu moves and sharp blades as he throws himself at Sasuke.

Sasuke swirls around, blocking and counterattacking the hits as much as he can, as he struggles against the bigger form of his attacker. The stranger is covered from head to toe – there is only a pair of cold eyes peeking through the dark holes of his mask as he pars Sasuke’s attacks.

The ambusher’s punches and kicks are getting more and more furious and brash as the fight goes on, while Sasuke struggles to match the ferocity of the assault.

Out of breath, Sasuke leaps farther away from his attacker and aims a katon at him. The fireball lights up the forest, the blaze of the fire colouring the trees surrounding them red. Smoke fills his lungs as Sasuke tries to get a visual on the enemy. He spots the ambusher lurking a little farther away from him, and Sasuke knows that had the masked shinobi been any slower, the attack would have scorched him.

The fire jutsu buys Sasuke just enough of time to note that the attacker seems to be focusing solely on him – he doesn’t care the slightest about the genin girls hiding in the trees.

The attacker is clearly not one of the participants of the chuunin exam. He is built like an adult, his hands large and shoulders broad, and he is of much greater height than Sasuke. It’s not to even worth mentioning that the shinobi’s control of his chakra has to be at least jounin level. There were no adults among the genins taking the exams apart from Sasuke, and he knows that the only opponents the participants should encounter in the Forest of Death are the wild animals and the other competitors. There is no way that this ninja is a part of the exam.

The more Sasuke thinks about it, the clearer it is that the masked ninja is solely here to go after him.

The enemy nin comes closer again, engaging Sasuke in yet another taijutsu match and forcing him to rely on his physical strength instead of his ninjutsu. Sasuke knows that despite his training before these exams, his stamina isn’t what it used to be, and that in a long enough hand-to-hand fight like this one he will lose. He needs to end this quickly or otherwise this exam he thought would be child’s play will turn out to be something else entirely.

As the attacker goes for a kick once again, Sasuke blocks the incoming leg and fakes a punch towards the shinobi’s head with his right hand. While the enemy leans back to avoid his fist, Sasuke lets a chidori form into his left palm and goes to plunge it towards the attacker’s open stomach –

Or he would have, had the chidori come alive.

There is only one, sad chirp from the fading chakra in Sasuke’s hand, and then his signature jutsu fails him. There is no roaring sound of his thousand birds, no electric taste in the air, and certainly not deadly, raw chakra concentrated on the palm of his hand.

Dumbfounded, Sasuke forgets himself into staring at his empty hand for a second too long, and the enemy shinobi manages to land a free punch into his face.

Sasuke lands on his back by the force of the hit and almost falls off the large branch they are fighting on. Not having any time to waste, Sasuke spits the blood from his mouth and throws himself back on his feet. Just in time, as the masked ninja hurls himself at Sasuke again right then, and Sasuke has no time to think. His instincts take over – and this time when he falls back on the one jutsu he trusts the most, there is a chidori singing in his hand as he charges towards his ambusher.

His attack is just about to hit its mark when the enemy swivels himself around and dances away from Sasuke’s sparkling hand. Sasuke curses and readies himself for another go when a shuriken whirls past him.

The weapon lands at the attacker’s feet.

“You there in the mask, stand down and lower your weapons!” comes a shout from somewhere behind Sasuke. A jounin, a supervisor of the exam, appears on the branch between Sasuke and the enemy. As Sasuke takes a look around the treetops, he sees dozens of Konoha jounins and chuunins scattered around them, all pointing their blades at the masked man.

Konoha has learned something from last chuunin exams Sasuke was in – the threat of intruders is taken much more seriously than it was eight years ago.

“I said _lower your weapons_!” the jounin commands again when the enemy gives no sign of backing down. Instead, the masked ninja keeps his eyes locked on Sasuke, and in that second Sasuke feels shivers running down his spine. Something about that gaze bugs him.

“I will arrest you for attacking one of the compe – ” the jounin starts, but her announcement is cut short when the masked nin suddenly moves and makes a run for it, disappearing into the woods with a pulse of chakra. Half of the Konoha shinobis dash after him.

Sasuke sighs.

The jounin leading the Leaf ninjas turns to face him.

“Are you unharmed?” she asks with a stern look on her face.

Sasuke nods. He curls the fingers of his left hand into a tight fist at his side, he doesn’t have any desire to discuss the sudden hiccup in his own chakra control.

“Where are the other members of your group?” the woman asks, and Sasuke feels like he is back at the interrogation department.

Instead of answering her, he raises his hand and waves over the awfully pale but determined girls from their hiding places.

When the jounin in charge has made sure that none of them are injured, she allows them to continue in the exams if they feel like they are up to it. Sasuke is sure that as long as there aren’t any other surprise attacks like this one waiting for them, completing the rest of the task won’t be a problem for him, but he lets the girls answer first before deciding what to do.

Though obviously shaken by their experience, the genins nod their head when asked if they are willing to continue in the exams, and so their little group settles back in their camp up in the trees to wait for sunrise.

 

o0o

  

_The 11th of September, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

When their little ragtag team makes it to the finish line at the tower the next day, the genin girls are back to their bubbly selves, and Sasuke is quite happy to let them ponder over the riddle of the scrolls on their own. His mind is still stuck on the attacker.

The news of the last Uchiha taking the chuunin exams wasn’t exactly shouted from the rooftops, but isn’t wasn’t a tightly-kept secret either. So, if someone wanted to get rid of him, the second part of the exams would be an ideal place for that, assuming the assassin could get in despite the heightened security. But the attacker would have to dig for the information of Sasuke participating and then get past the guards surrounding the perimeter, and after all that track down him in the thick forest. That asks for effort and dedication. The masked ninja was after Sasuke, there is no doubt about that. The only question that remains is that of who is behind the attack.

The nervous sound of the girls giggling echoes in the room and then there is a sharp _poof_ to be heard. As Sasuke turns his attention towards his young teammates, he finds out that they have opened the scrolls, and it is Sakura who appears to bring them the news of their success. With a proud smile on her face she explains the metaphor of heaven and earth to the genins who look up at her in such an awe that Sasuke has to hide his amused grin behind his hand. He guesses that Sakura might look like an incredible role model for the girls, with her vast medical knowledge, brute strength and position as one of the original members of the now quite famous Team 7.

Her pastel pink hair might have something to do with her popularity as well.

Sakura ushers the girls to go eat something and rest, and it’s only after they are gone that she drops the smile and walks over to Sasuke.

“Hey, are you alright?” she asks, already falling into her medic mode as she glances over him, looking for injuries that fortunately aren’t there. “I heard there was an intruder going after you guys.”

Sasuke wants to get out of the clothes he has been wearing for two days straight, he is hungry and tired, his most reliable jutsu almost got him killed, and he is sick of babysitting genins in these stupid exams when he should be going after both his attacker and Danzou.

“I’m fine,” Sasuke answers instead of diving into a full-out rant, “but I think the girls got a good scare.”

“They’ll get over it, just like we got over our first C-rank mission,” Sakura smiles at him, looking older than Sasuke remembered in her jounin vest and short hair tied up. “And our chuunin exams.”

“Maybe,” he mutters. Then he takes another look at her, brows furrowing in defeat. “You guys couldn’t stop yourselves from meddling in this farce of me taking the exams again, did you?”

“No,” Sakura cheers at him and there is something very Naruto-like in the way she grins at him. “We all came. We wouldn’t miss this for the world, the last of us becoming a chuunin.”

Shuddering, Sasuke thinks that she has become much more impish since the starting days of Team 7.

“Naruto and Kakashi-sensei are waiting in the control room. We drew straws for who gets to come to greet you and I got lucky.”

Sasuke just hums at her, not really understanding the excitement.

He follows her out of the room and all the way up to the control centre at the top floor of the tower. The spacious room is like a beehive – it’s full of shinobis buzzing around with stacks of paper in their hands. The whole space is lit by huge screens that cover the walls, showing a live-feed from the forest where the soon-to-be-chuunins struggle not to get lost or trip over their feet.

“Are us contestants allowed here?” Sasuke asks Sakura, hovering near her back, not wanting to get lost in the chaos of the room.

“You completed the challenge, what could you possibly learn here that would help you in the exams?”

“Their jutsus, their fighting styles?”

She turns around to stare at him like he has grown a second head, a feat that she wouldn’t have even dreamt of six years ago when she still spent most of her time daydreaming about him.

“Sasuke, you are above jounin level already. You are in these exams only because of a formality. You don’t need to spy on these kids to beat them.”

Sasuke is saved from answering by Naruto barrelling straight into him.

“Teme! You made it!” the blond shouts right into his ear and drapes himself all over Sasuke.

“Don’t act like it’s such a surprise, you idiot,” Sasuke scoffs at him and tries to push Naruto away. Naruto is like a walking hot water bottle and Sasuke is sweaty enough as it is. His best friend, unfortunately, won’t budge and Sasuke is stuck with Naruto clinging onto him. He plans on a stealth attack with his elbow when the right time comes.

When he glances at Sakura, it seems almost like there is something wet glistening in the corner of her eye as she watches the boys scuffle with a soft smile on her face. Not knowing what to do about it, Sasuke surrenders and lets Naruto continue to babble on.

Something connects with his head – the hit is not hard enough to hurt, but it’s annoying anyway – and when Sasuke swirls around, consecutively dragging Naruto along with him, he finds Kakashi standing behind him. There is one of his awful books in his hand and a low-lidded smile on his masked face.

“Congrats,” he chuckles at Sasuke’s scandalized expression.

“You whacked me with that? What is wrong with you?” Sasuke hears himself hiss, his voice a bit too high and offended for his own liking.

Kakashi doesn’t answer him apart from giving Sasuke an even more infuriatingly lazy smile.

Naruto takes his chance to open his mouth again.

“We were here watching how you and the girls were doing all day yesterday and this morning. And we were right to do that,” he explains, waving his free hand in front of Sasuke’s face as he speaks. “Who would have thought that there would be an attack against you?”

“Just like last time when we took this exam together,” Sakura adds, “when Orochimaru came along.”

“Well, it isn’t Orochimaru this time around, I made sure of that.”

"It wasn’t a random attack,” Kakashi steps into the conversation, his laidback demeanour gone as he pins his gaze on Sasuke. “Somebody conveniently got past our defences unnoticed right when you were basically alone deep in the forest. It must have been planned. The feed from the surveillance cameras wasn’t that good, we couldn’t really make out the attacker, the image was too blurry. Was there anything you recognized about him – anything that could give us a hint about who he is or who sent him?”

“No, I – He was wearing a mask, there was nothing to identify him with,” Sasuke answers, frustrated with how little he can remember about his attacker. “There was something odd about him, but I can’t get my head around what it was.”

Sasuke can feel how Naruto hunches down when he hears Sasuke’s words, and Sakura too seems disappointed about not finding a lead.

When Sasuke steals a look at Kakashi, the man’s eyes are focused on something near Sasuke’s shoulder. Furrowing his brows, Sasuke turns to follow Kakashi’s gaze and ends up staring at Naruto’s tanned arm that is draped familiarly around him. He had almost forgotten about Naruto standing so close to him.

Before Sasuke can analyse either the look or the embrace any further, Kakashi breaks the gloomy silence between the four of them. His focus is completely back on the matter in hand, and Sasuke is half-convinced he imagined the flash of emotion on Kakashi’s face.

“The team sent after the attacker is still tracking the shinobi, and we can go over the videotapes again to see if we can spot anything new. And maybe with time, Sasuke will remember something,” Kakashi reassures them. “But I think we should help these poor guys here and go meet the other genins bound to arrive here sooner or later. There are so many participants this year that the exam supervisors will get buried alive under the workload.”

Finally, Naruto untangles himself from Sasuke and grabs Sakura’s hand instead to drag her towards the stairs. It’s only now that Sasuke remembers that Naruto has his own team of genins in the exams too.

“Sensei, are you coming?” Naruto asks when Kakashi stays where is, not making a move to follow after Naruto and Sakura. Sasuke is opting to drop out of the babysitting duty once again, and as a fellow competitor – and a genin – he isn’t even qualified for the job.

"In a minute,” Kakashi calls back at the two and dismisses them with a wave of his gloved hand. He turns back to Sasuke, his slouched back finding its familiar curve. He looks every bit of his casual, bored self, but the serious tone in his voice is at odds with his nonchalant bearing.

“Something happened the first time you tried to use chidori,” Kakashi says, his voice so low it’s barely audible, one steel grey and one red eye keenly watching for Sasuke’s reaction.

Not pleased that somebody noticed his moment of weakness, Sasuke manages a stiff nod. Naturally the inventor of chidori would immediately recognise his own jutsu – especially when it’s not working.

“It just didn’t come,” Sasuke admits in a hushed tone, mindful of the Leaf ninjas running around the room.

“And nothing like this has ever happened before?” Kakashi asks with one tilted eyebrow.

“Never.”

“The attacker didn’t do anything to you that could have stopped your chakra flow?”

“No, not that I noticed,” Sasuke answer with a slight shake of his head. “Do you think it might be the after effects of that seal you placed on me?”

“It’s a possibility.”

“What about the jutsu one of Danzou’s men put on me? Do you think it might cause this?”

“It’s been a month since that, right? You have had no indications that the seal might be affecting you before this. I have never heard about a technique that would take so long to start working. Why wait a month?” Kakashi recaps, a reassuring smile passing on his face. “So, I don’t think it’s that. But I’m not an expert. You should ask Tsunade.”

“I’m not exactly in very friendly terms with her at the moment.”

“Ah, well… You might want to do something about that then,” Kakashi says. He shifts his weight from one foot to another, a frown on his face. He brushes his hair from his eyes and lets his gaze circle the room, studying the bright screens. Sasuke feels that there is something Kakashi knows that he hasn’t shared with Sasuke.

“You have an idea who the attacker might be, don’t you?” Sasuke asks, tugging the knot of his forehead protector loose, and ruffles his sweaty and tangled hair.

“I have this hunch that you made a dangerous enemy when you raised the village against Danzou,” Kakashi says, not removing his gaze from the screens. Sasuke mimics him, turning to look at screen emitting live feed of some genins – from Konoha, judging by the forehead protectors – stumbling over massive tree roots.

“Danzou made an enemy out of me when he ordered the massacre of my clan,” Sasuke bites back, his words sharp and stiff. The overly bright, crackling picture makes his head hurt, and blinking furiously, he turns back to Kakashi. He catches Kakashi glancing at him, a nonreadable expression on his face. “Isn’t it a little too soon for him to be arranging assassination attempts against me? It was only a few weeks ago that he fled from Konoha.”

“Might be. But I don’t know who else it could be then,” Kakashi points out. “Unless there is someone else you have royally pissed off that I should know about?”

“I don’t think so?” Sasuke wonders out loud, racking his brain to come up with somebody he might have accidentally or not so accidentally offended at any point of his life. The list of potentially insulted individuals is long and wide with his pleasant, out-going personality, but Sasuke doesn’t think anybody beside Danzou would resort to as drastic measures as these.

“It might be Danzou trying to get back at you. Or somebody loyal to him working alone,” Kakashi agrees and squints his eyes as he thinks. “Or it might be some crazed lunatic harassing you for whatever mindless reason.”

“Well, that’s very helpful.”

Kakashi chuckles at his dry comment, tenseness leaving his posture and there’s a light touch of his hand against Sasuke’s shoulder.

“The Hokage will be announcing the month’s waiting period before the final part of the exam later today, but you already know how these things work. You should just go have a shower and rest, okay?”

"Fine,” is the most eloquent answer Sasuke can manage, suddenly so very aware of the fingers pressing against his back. And all too soon, Kakashi withdraws his hand before Sasuke has any idea of what he thinks about the touch, and then Sasuke finds no excuse to stick around anymore. With his mind whirling around, Sasuke goes to search for the dingy bathrooms he remembers being filthy even years back.

 

o0o

 

_The 27th of September, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

Sasuke decides to spend the month before the final round perfecting his control over his mangenkyoo sharingan. He hasn’t worked on his ability at all since he awakened it – he doesn’t count the mindless, crazed days spent wandering around the backwaters of the shinobi countries as training – and despite the fact that he won’t certainly need the bloodline limit against the children he will be pitted against, Sasuke knows at that some point he has to learn to use his new eyes and this is as good time as any.

Amaterasu – he now recognizes the jutsu that killed the masked man after Itachi died – makes his head hurt and eyes bleed, but after a couple weeks of refining his skill, Sasuke is satisfied when the black flames start to obey his wishes.

It’s only a few days before October that Sasuke feels that he really controls his new powers. With a trail of warm blood trickling down his cheeks, he slumps down to sit on the grass field of the training ground 10, his legs giving out under his weight almost embarrassingly easily. There’s an obnoxious humming echoing in his head and once again, he curses his birth village for forcing the chakra seal on him.

There was a customary health check after the second part of the chuunin exams, and Sakura had walked over the other medics and demanded the right to treat Sasuke as his former teammate. When Sasuke had told her about the mishap with his chakra control – Kakashi had to swat him over the head with a cheap porn novel a few times before Sasuke agreed to tell Sakura anything – she had concurred that the most likely suspect was the chakra seal Kakashi had placed on him. Something so large tampering with the delicate chakra system could sometimes cause minor problems like these even a few months after the removal. Sakura had told him to not worry about it, and that was it.

Now Sasuke watches the blazing black flames in front of him and grins to himself. Mastering a legendary jutsu like this is worth all the hassle.

Autumn is a good way along and the training ground is covered in leaves, red and orange and yellow and gold. There’s a biting edge to the breeze and the evenings darken earlier every day.

As a test, Sasuke raises his left hand in front of his face and with the tiniest effort he barely even feels anymore, he brings his trademark jutsu into life. Tiny blue sparkles light up on his palm and the sound of a thousand birds mixes with those of the real birds flying to the south for the winter.

A loud yell from somewhere behind him catches his attention. Sasuke recognises the voice as Naruto’s, and that’s why he doesn’t bother to hurry when he gets up on his feet and turns to meet his friend. It’s only when he can see that Naruto has brought along his genin team and a young man about Sasuke’s age that Sasuke realises to quickly swipe the bloody tear stains from his cheeks.

“Hey, asshole! I didn’t know you were here!” Naruto beams at him, waving his hand at Sasuke as he ushers the genins forward. “I was planning to teach the kids how to walk on water today since they totally failed at that in the exams. Whatcha doing here?”

“Training. Going to head home now.”

“Oh, shoot. You could have helped me with this,” Naruto pouts and kicks some rocks at his feet to skipping on the grass. “You know I’m not that good with the theory part and man, do these chipmunks have questions. They didn’t pass the second part of the chuunin exams and that means I’m stuck with them for at least another year. Gotta go back to the basics.”

“Who’s the new guy?” Sasuke asks, turning to stare at the pale man with a strange smile. “What is he here for?”

“Oh, yeah, you guys haven’t met yet!” Naruto chirps. “Sasuke, meet Sai. Sai, you have heard about Sasuke many times, right? Meet the asshole, in the flesh.”

So, this is his replacement. Sasuke eyes the stranger with a sneer. There are certainly enough outwardly similarities between them that he understands why his teammates would feel like Konoha had dumped Sai on them as a literal replacement. Sasuke does feel a little hypocritical when he feels a hint of jealousy in him raising its head – Team 7 was his first, but he did turn his back on them and left them behind. What did he expect but to somebody to fill his place?

But apparently this Sai does mean something to Naruto, and probably to Sakura as well. It has to say something that Naruto has dragged him along to teach his genins. Maybe Sasuke might try to tolerate the new guy for his teammates’ sake.

Then his replacement opens his mouth.

“Nice to meet you, traitor.”

Sasuke finds himself in the peculiar state of hovering between exploding in anger, and just walking away and never talking to Naruto ever again.

Naruto grabs Sai by his shoulders and slams a hand over his mouth.

“Oh my god, Sai, you can’t just blurt out things like that! I told you Sasuke might blow your head off if you spout crap at him, _oh my fucking god_ – “ Then he turns to Sasuke with the most begging look Sasuke has ever seen on his face. “Just, ignore him. He doesn’t mean it. Sai’s like that, he puts his foot in his mouth every other time he opens the damn thing.”

Naruto makes a face at Sai, swats him over the head, and gives a deep sigh he must have learned from Kakashi. The three genins behind him look bored as hell.

“Was there anything else?” Sasuke asks and dusts off his pants, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he starts to head towards the exit of the training ground.

“I really could use help with the kids. I know how to walk on water but not how to explain it. And as you just saw, Sai’s not any better,” Naruto whines, finally letting go of Sai. There’s a look on his face that indicates that he is planning to sprawl himself all over Sasuke once again, but when Sasuke glares at him, the blond decides to stay at a safe distance. “Come on, bastard. Take the chance to show off your superior brain.”

Sasuke scoffs at their little group, but can’t come up with a good enough excuse to say no. He doesn’t have anything else to do either – Sakura is at a staff meeting at the hospital and Kakashi said something about meeting up with Gai when Sasuke ran into him at the market this morning. With his team busy, Sasuke would have to go home, since hanging around at the village doesn’t really suit him. But the problem is that his new home in the ghost town of a district is a little too quiet even for him. The house hasn’t really started to feel like home yet, and Sasuke prefers to spend his time elsewhere when he can.

That means humouring Naruto and his kids.

“Whatever,” Sasuke grunts at them and immediately wishes he hadn’t when there’s a grin worthy of the Nine-Tailed Fox on Naruto’s face.

“Yesh! Okay guys, it’s learning time!”

Naruto steers the brats towards a little pond at the edge of the training ground, babbling something about chakra control and the soles of their feet, copying Kakashi’s speech from years ago, trying to repeat it word to word but not really succeeding.

Sasuke studies the show with his hands on his hips, still not understanding how he got himself dragged into this mess. Behind the façade of rolling his eyes at Naruto’s antics, Sasuke examines the other young man standing on the surface of the pond.

Sasuke has heard about Sai from Team 7. His replacement was once part of Danzou’s ROOT, brainwashed to become a perfect soldier from a very young age. Complete clueless when it comes to normal social interactions, but competent at his work as a ninja. Naruto seems to consider the ex-ROOT member as a good friend with a bad habit of blurting inappropriate things out of his mouth. Sasuke can’t help but wonder if Sai might still be loyal to Danzou despite the fact that he has supposedly changed sides.

“Sasukeeeee! Come explain it to them! The minions don’t get it!” Naruto shouts at him just as the girl of the genin team disappears under the surface of the water with a big splash. One of the boys starts to laugh at his teammate’s mistake and immediately loses his focus, ending up underwater right after.

Sasuke gives up with a sigh and walks up to his best friend while Sai dutifully fishes the wet genins out of the pond.

When he has three eager pairs of eyes staring at him, Sasuke starts from the very basics with the kids, struggling to come up with the explanation of how the chakra system works. It’s been so long since he has had to actively think about – it’s all instinct these days. Why couldn’t Naruto go steal Kakashi from his meeting with Gai? At least the man has some experience about teaching this stuff. Heck, Sasuke is a younger sibling with a patient older brother, he is used to being the one who gets things explained to him and not the other way around.

After Sasuke has gone over the exercise in painful detail, there is a spark of enlightenment shining in the eyes of one of the genins, at least, and the other two don’t look quite as wobbly on their feet as they did a minute ago.

Having had enough human communication for the day, Sasuke opts to back off a little and goes to sit down next to a large tree near the pond, studying his handiwork as the genins scream and cheer at each other.

Naruto jogs up to him soon after.

“Seriously, thanks. You’re so much better at this than me,” he says and chuckles on top of that, scratching the back of his head.

“Hn. Have you thought that the kids are probably going to die of cold since you are trying to drown them in late September?”

“Oh shit, I didn’t think of that. Well, it’s too late now. What’s done is done.”

Naruto sits down next to him, his movements so flashy and big that their shoulders bump into each other. Sasuke swallows the annoyed grunt when Naruto flashes him an apologetical smile.

“And sorry again about Sai. He’s just like that, he can’t help it,” Naruto explains and leans his head on his hand. “He read from this one book that you should have nicknames for your friends. Guess that he had to come up with the most awful ones.”

“Well, traitor is pretty straightforward. What’s yours, brainless?”

“I wish,” Naruto whines and buries his face into his hands. He blushes so hard that even his ears turn red and then there’s a whispered: “He calls me dickless.”

“Ouch. And Sakura?”

“Ugly.”

“Isn’t that a straight up suicide, calling her that?” Sasuke asks, genuinely confused, and causes Naruto to burst out laughing. 

“Nah, Sakura knows he doesn’t mean it. Sai’s really a good guy once you get to know him.”

“So you trust him? Despite the fact that he worked for Danzou once?”

Naruto stops for a second, checking on the kids that are slowly getting the hand of the walking on water, and Sai herding them, trying to keep them from drowning.

“Yeah, I do. He’s my friend.”

“Huh.”

They watch the genins for a while, both forgotten in their thoughts. If Naruto trusts Sai with his kids, Sasuke thinks that he can at least try not to be hostile towards his replacement. Though he still might ask Kakashi what he thinks of Sai when Sasuke sees him next.

As if on cue, Naruto brings up the man next.

“Do you know if Kakashi-sensei has something tomorrow? I thought I might ask him some tips for teaching the kids.”

“He didn’t say anything this morning. I guess he would have if he had something important,” Sasuke answers, letting his thoughts wander.

Kakashi and he have run into each other from time to time during the last month, their paths crossing by accident most of the time – stumbling onto each other at the market or the training grounds. Casual, normal meetings that don’t really mean anything. Kakashi tells him to come see the dogs every now and then, and Sasuke always tends to run out of excuses right that second. And there was this one time when the two of them sat down to compare their experiences with their sharingans and share the modifications they have developed for chidori – Sasuke has promised to teach Kakashi his chidori nagashi when he has the time.

The problem in all of this is that the more time Sasuke spends with Kakashi, the surer he is that he is never going to get over the night they spent together, even if he tries.

Sasuke feels that the whole escaping prison and trying to sacrifice themselves for each other has brought Kakashi and him closer together.  If pressured, Sasuke might even admit that he sorts of likes Kakashi. He is always there to bail Sasuke out of any trouble he has got himself into, offering Sasuke half-hidden smiles and steady, quiet support.

But Sasuke has no idea what Kakashi thinks. Because despite the breath-taking kiss after almost dying and the lewd jokes Kakashi throws at his way when they are alone, Kakashi hasn’t really done anything to indicate that he is interested. The kiss can be explained by all the adrenaline after escaping from a burning building – and it was mostly Sasuke’s fault anyway. And the jokes, well, they can be explained by just Kakashi being himself. He reads porn in public, for crying out loud.

Though in any case, Kakashi doesn’t seem like the type to boldly declare his love from the rooftops. If Sasuke has learned anything, it is that his former teacher is a very private person. He can’t really picture Kakashi taking the initiative and sweeping him off his feet – no, it’s probably Sasuke’s job to chase after him.

One of the genins plunges into the pond with a shrill squeak and tears Sasuke from his thoughts.

“Do you think Sakura-chan still likes you?” Naruto asks suddenly with a pondering look on his face.

“What?”

“You know, _likes_ you?”

“I haven’t got the faintest idea. I thought she did when I was in prison, but recently…I don’t know,” Sasuke says, squinting his eyes as he tries to remember all the times he has talked to Sakura since he was released. “Why did you ask?”

“No reason,” Naruto asks, turning his gaze away from Sasuke, his response coming a little bit too fast to sound natural. Then the questions get even weirder. “Do you like her?”

“ _No_. Not like that. I thought that was clear,” Sasuke answers, furrowing his brows as he tries to understand his best friend’s train of thought. “Seriously, why do you ask?”

“It’s – I don’t – I just asked, okay, it doesn’t mean anything,” Naruto snaps back, fumbling over his words. He jumps up to his feet and waves towards the genins without even glancing at them. “My kids need me, gotta go, see ya later and all that.”

And after that Naruto literally runs away from him.


	14. Overcast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wasn't supposed to be this long. And this hard to write, especially the last scene. I wanted to bash my head against a wall so many times. And I don't think you will like me very much after reading the chapter. But really, did you guys seriously think that this was going to be easy? ;)

 

_The 7th of October, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

Being the sole owner of an entire district comes with its disadvantages. That day Sasuke finds himself waiting in the hallways of the Hokage Tower – the clerks and secretaries in charge of organising taxes and water and electricity bills are situated on one of the lower floors of the building. They are a massive army that consists of chuunins less than competent for fieldwork, and some civilians who are probably distant cousins of some lesser clans.

Sasuke didn’t exactly picture himself returning to his birth village to end up standing in a queue to file a complaint about the property management of his district. He has spent the whole morning arguing with a dull-faced chuunin who refuses to understand that Sasuke doesn’t want running water for the whole district, but only for the part where his house is, and that he really doesn’t need to have electricity for those empty houses either.

The whole thing is such a hassle for something Sasuke doesn’t use at all. He doesn’t even like living in the house back in the Uchiha district – he rather spends his time at the training fields or running away from his bothersome teammates than stays in that quiet house at the edge of the village.

But really, with the amount of land he now owns in the village, Sasuke could always start a career as a carpenter and renovate the whole district and then sell the houses for profit if returning to his life as a ninja doesn’t suddenly quite cut it. Sasuke snorts at the thought and scares a civilian secretary walking by him – picturing himself as anything but a ninja is an absurd thought.

After wasting hours fighting the bureaucracy, Sasuke is fuming when he marches out of the office floor. He is heading towards the exit of the Tower when he runs into Tsunade and Sakura. The Fifth Hokage is in the middle of explaining some medical procedure to Sasuke’s teammate when the women notice him, and their discussion is abruptly cut short.

Sakura smiles at him, waving her hand casually as a greeting, while an annoyed, stern look crosses Tsunade’s face.

”Uchiha. Always a pleasure,” she scoffs, her hands finding their way to her hips. She looks down her nose at him and infuriatingly manages to seem taller than him in her heels.

”Fifth,” Sasuke greets her, acknowledging the Hokage just enough to avoid being completely rude. Then he addresses his teammate standing next to Tsunade. He is purposely making an effort to be unusually friendly towards her just to spite Tsunade. ”Hey, Sakura.”

”Sasuke, hi! What are you doing here?”

Sasuke flashes the armful of official documents and pre-filled out forms he is holding against his chest.

”I’m sorting through the maintenance costs of the district. Apparently even when there were no residents living there for several years, the expenses still went through the roof. Or at least they do now, since the village has finally somebody to send to bills to.”

”That sounds… nice. Have you thought about what you want to do with the district? Do you want to preserve it or something? Or do you plan to sell the houses?” Sakura asks and brushes a lock of her pastel hair behind her ear. She doesn’t seem to care about the slightly annoyed look her mentor gives her – it’s obvious that Tsunade didn’t mean to stop to have a full-length chat with Sasuke.

”Well, in theory I could sell them. I don’t really need a whole district worth of houses and there are better ways to honour my clan than to stubbornly cling on to them. But who would want to buy a house somebody has died in, let alone several of them?”

Before Sakura can open her mouth to answer, Tsunade steps in and changes the subject.

”How are you faring in the chuunin exams so far, Uchiha?”

”Apart from that breach in security that let in an assassin that tried to kill me, I have been just fine, thank you. Messing around with genins is always such a joy,” Sasuke comments, a smug grin on his face as he turns towards Tsunade. “But really, shouldn’t you be more concerned about this attack, _Hokage-sama_? Especially considering that Konoha is missing manpower after so many Leaf shinobis abandoned the village with Danzou. Why put me through this ridiculous process of chuunin exams that lasts months when you could have me in the field already with one signature?”

”You know, Uchiha, I don’t really know what your problem is. You clearly think that I have done something against you. I don’t have the faintest clue what it is, but I’m really getting tired of you strutting around like you’re so much better than me,” Tsunade states, her voice firm, and crosses her arms over her chest. She tilts her to the side with her brown eyes blazing, and Sasuke almost expects her to start tapping her foot impatiently against the floor. “So, what is it?”

She is taking his bait, challenging him, and Sasuke loves every minute of it.

”Your Council refuses to admit the village had a part in the massacre of my clan. They are blaming Danzou for all of it,” Sasuke chides her, raising his chin up. Sakura is glancing at his way, her eyes wide, and it’s clear she wants him to stop before he can even get started. He sees it as the warning it is. He doesn’t care about it.

“You let me go to Orochimaru. It’s not that farfetched to think that you agreed with the rest of it.”

Tsunade raises an eyebrow at his speech and shifts her weight from one hip to another.

”For your information, I never agreed with any of it. You should have seen many times now that the Hokage is powerless alone against the Council. I can’t stop the Council from doing anything when the Elders succeed to turn their heads around on something. I never wanted to send a child off to my crazed ex-teammate as a price for peace – I disagree with the whole idea of buying our freedom that way. And it doesn’t make it any better that I knew what Orochimaru was capable of. I may not like you personally, but that doesn’t mean I want any harm to come your way.”

Sasuke fights the urge to hunch his shoulders and lower his gaze. She is giving him a lecture, and this once it might be a rightful one.

“And as for the truth about the massacre – I don’t like the way the Council is hiding and covering it up, but I do understand their reasoning. We were at the brink of a revolution just a few months ago. Revealing that the village is responsible – revealing that the beloved Third is responsible for a genocide of a founder clan does nothing but hurt the village,” Tsunade finishes with a huff, looking down at Sasuke, and there’s a hint of fatigue on her face.

Sasuke can’t come up with anything to counter her speech with.

“My sympathies lie with you in this, but concealing the truth is the only reasonable way to do this. If it was only about you and your clan’s honour, I wouldn’t hesitate to try to make the Council members change their minds, but there is the safety and integrity of the village to be thought of first. And I didn’t make you a chuunin yet because I really can’t show any favouritism towards an ex-criminal in this flammable political situation we are in now – Danzou is still out there somewhere and half of the Council was ready make him the leader of this village.”

He just got his ass handed to him, didn’t he?

“The truth is going to come out one day,” Sasuke says and cringes right after because he sounds like an insolent child. His statement is neutral enough that it doesn’t really comment on Tsunade’s position in all of this, it doesn’t really mean anything, but he just couldn’t let the woman walk all over him without saying anything back.

She has her reasons, Sasuke gives her that, but she is not perfect either – she could have tried to stop a thirteen-year-old from leaving the village for a notorious enemy of the village, no matter what the Council said. No villager would have held it against her if she had gone against the Council then.

Because Kakashi did say that Tsunade tried to send him on another mission when Kakashi just wanted to go after Sasuke.

But Tsunade didn’t exactly stop him either, now did she? Kakashi never said that there were any consequences of him going against the Hokage.

Maybe she did try to stop Sasuke from getting into Orochimaru’s hands – she and Kakashi were just too late.

Tsunade is still looking at him with an apprehensive look on her ageless face, while Sakura is rocking back and forth on her feet, shifting her gaze between her teammate and mentor. This might be Sasuke’s cue to try to make things up for the Hokage.

He might be too proud to apologise out loud, but he does let his posture relax and the fire in his eyes to calm down, and then he manages a nod at the Fifth, a genuine acknowledgement of what she has done for him.

Sasuke wouldn’t call the expression that flashes on Tsunade’s face a smile exactly, but it is close to a well-meaning grin, if that’s even a thing. Either way, she seems satisfied. Sakura smiles at them both.

Sasuke’s peace of mind doesn’t last long.

“So, what is this that I hear about your chakra not working?” Tsunade asks in a tone that demands answers, and steps closer to Sasuke.

When he glares at Sakura, she has the brain to look properly ashamed. Naturally she has told Tsunade about his problem.

“Sakura did have a look at you, didn’t she?”

“I did, shishou. I think it’s an after effect of the seal Kakashi-sensei cast on him,” Sakura adds, now looking slightly nervous when it’s her diagnose that is under the Hokage’s scrutiny.

“Well, it does sound like it could very well be that. Has there been anything else since that one time?”

“No.”

“I think it would be best if you came to the hospital to have check-ups once a month, let’s say, for the next three months. I don’t think this is anything to concern yourself with, but let’s make sure it’s nothing. It would be such a shame to lose you from our ranks because of a mistake of our own.”

Well, it’s better to be safe than sorry. As Sasuke nods his approval, Sakura explains something about organising him the examination times. Tsunade seems to have got enough of him, because she leaves Sasuke and Sakura soon with a quick goodbye thrown at Sakura’s way, and then she is hurrying towards another meeting or something of that sort.

“Do you have something planned for today?” Sakura asks, and when Sasuke turns to look at her, she is studying him. Her eyes are bright and her expression hopeful.

“Nothing important. Why?”

“Well, I was thinking that since I have the rest of the day off that maybe you would like to go training together or something?”

“Yeah, sure, why not,” Sasuke answer without pondering it over. It might be a good idea to train against someone who is actually jounin level for a change. He is getting really tired of all the genins swarming around him.

Sakura flashes Sasuke a brighter smile than the coy ones he got from her when they were twelve and she was head over heels smitten with him. She seems to be more at peace with herself than she did then. Somehow it makes everything easier for Sasuke too, since now he doesn’t have to feel that she is asking something of him that he can’t give her.

And from there Sasuke’s mind wanders back to his latest encounter with Naruto and his best friend’s odd questions. Why would Naruto ask Sasuke if he thinks that Sakura still likes him? Because now it sure doesn’t look like that’s the case anymore. There are no shy glances or awkward giggling going on – though to be fair, Sasuke doubts that Sakura would be prone to such childishness anymore.

“So, I heard you met Sai. What do you think of him?” Sakura asks, eager to gossip, just as Sasuke holds the door open for her and they step out of the Hokage Tower.

“He’s… interesting, let’s put it that way.”

“You’ll get used to him, trust me,” Sakura chuckles. “He really looks a little bit like you, don’t you think?”

“If you say so,” Sasuke answers, not really paying attention to the conversation. Whether his literal replacement resembles him or not isn’t necessarily one of his favourite subjects. “Do you know if he’s still in ANBU?”

Sakura stops to think for a while, bringing a finger to her lips.

“He might be. I honestly don’t know. We haven’t had any missions as a team for a while, so we don’t see him that much anymore. I can’t come up with a reason why the Council or Tsunade-shishou would have pulled him out of it.”

“Hn.”

They walk in silence for a while, side by side, on the main street of the village and towards the training grounds near the Forest of Death. It’s unusually cold day, considering it’s only this early in October, and the centre of the village is quiet – the children and old women usually loitering around the many shops seem to have escaped inside to the warmth of their homes and away from the biting wind. Dried brown leaves rustle at their feet, and Sakura tucks her jacket better on herself, not appreciating the chilly weather.

“So, what were you and Tsunade talking about?” Sasuke asks her, trying to keep the conversation going. He feels awkward making such obvious questions, but Sakura doesn’t seem to think anything of it.

“Ah, work stuff mostly. There were some problems with finding doctors for the nightshifts – we lost some good people when Danzou left. There is a shortage of staff and Tsunade-shishou feels it’s her responsibility to do something about it,” she explains, twirling a wisp of her hair around her finger.  “But she is already so buried under all the Hokage duties that she really doesn’t have the time to help out at the hospital. I’m just worried that at this rate, she might end up having too much on her plate.”

Sasuke grunts.

“She had those injuries from that attack against her and it’s been only two months since then. And under that masking jutsu of hers she is getting old. I don’t always remember that,” Sakura admits, biting her lip as she glances up at him. She’s paler than she was a minute ago.

“Well, she managed to handle the village and fend off the Council after a coup. And she just roasted me,” Sasuke chuckles, kicking off some rocks at his feet. He really doesn’t have that much experience of comforting anybody, but he tries his best. “I think she’s going to be just fine.”

That earns him another honest smile, and soon Sakura gets the skip back to her steps. Sasuke follows after her with his hands in his pockets, a cool breeze ruffling his hair.

They are already nearing the trail that leads to the training grounds when the familiar figure of Naruto runs up to them. He jumps at the pair of them with a yell, wrapping his arms around both of them, and immediately has to duck to avoid the punch Sakura instinctively aims at him. He is a warm weight against their backs as he rests his arms on their shoulders.

After some yelling from Sakura and eyerolling from Sasuke, Naruto calms enough to tell them that miraculously, he has a day off too and what’s a better way to spend a day than training with his old teammates. Sakura and Sasuke have nothing against training as a three-man cell, and soon the three of them are off in a search to find a training field to conquer.

It’s been only maybe ten minutes since they got started when Kakashi finds them. He walks in on the scene with a book in his hand, and acts all surprised when he glances up from the novel and sees his three former students staring at him. He has the nerve to pretend that he hadn’t been looking for them, and that sends Sakura into a laughing fit while Sasuke scoffs in the background. Naruto gets excited about the old Team 7 being back together again and starts begging Kakashi to participate in their training too. One contemplating moment later their old teacher agrees to supervise the whole thing.

Afterwards, Sasuke wonders how good of an idea asking him to do that really was, because Kakashi has no objections against training them mercilessly. ”For old times' sake,” he says innocently when he commands them to run laps around the training ground like they were genins again.

After an hour or so, they all agree that it’s too damn cold to be training outside. Together they flee back to the village and find themselves sitting at the Ichirakus’ ramen stall.

It looks like it's going to rain soon. Sasuke sticks his freezing hands back into his pockets while cursing the weather. Naruto is sitting next to him, inhaling ramen, and Sakura is vacating the stool next to the blond. Their teacher, the poor bastard with his face hidden behind both a scarf and a mask, is trying to eat under the scrutiny of two very intent pairs of eyes – Sasuke's teammates are still hellbent on trying to catch a glimpse of Kakashi’s face after all these years. Sasuke is tempted to tease them of not having succeeded in that venture yet.

”Sensei, we want to see ~ !” Naruto chimes in a sing-song voice and leans over Sakura's shoulder to bat his eyelashes at Kakashi who is sitting behind her.

The teacher in question slowly turns to look at Naruto, his face blank.

”No.”

”Come on, Sensei,” Sakura adds when Naruto starts with the fake tears. ”It's been, what, almost ten years now. Don't you think we deserve to know what your face looks like at this point?”

”Let me think about it,” Kakashi answers, raising a hand to his chin, and pretends to consider the matter. Lazily, he leans his elbow against the counter and let his eyes stare aimlessly at something somewhere over Naruto’s head, supposedly lost in thought. The funny thing is that Naruto and Sakura seem to be buying the whole show.

Sasuke can almost see the smirk forming behind the mask.

”No.”

The last Uchiha almost chokes on his ramen when Kakashi blurts out his answer. Sasuke’s shoulders shake as he tries not to laugh out loud – the utter disbelief and disappointment radiating from Naruto and Sakura really save his day. Kakashi is chuckling at them too, leaning his head on his hand, and his eyes meet Sasuke’s over their teammates’ hunched backs. That only makes it worse, and Sasuke has to turn away to hide his grin behind his hand – his stomach is hurting from all the silent laughter by now.

Naruto swirls on his chair towards Sasuke and then promptly drapes himself over him, crying crocodile tears all over Sasuke’s shirt.

”Sasuke, say something! Don't you want to see his face too?” Naruto wails, swiftly turning his head back and forth as he tries to look at both Sasuke and Kakashi at the same time. “Come on, you were his favourite student anyway, he taught you chidori and everything! I bet he’s gonna show his dumb face if you just ask. Help us out!”

”I have already seen his face,” Sasuke answers nonchalantly and pokes Naruto with his chopsticks. ”Move your ass and get off me.”

Naruto and Sakura whip their heads around to stare at him so simultaneously it's almost scary. The identical predatory looks on their faces are as frightening. At this point Sasuke is pretty sure they are actually twins separated at birth.

” _WHAT?_ ”

”No way! You're joking, aren't you? He’s joking, right?”

“Sensei! You let teme see your face but not us? That is so not fair!”

“Favouritism! Blatant favouritism!

”When did you see it? What does he look like? Tell us!”

”Does he have buckteeth? Fish lips? A stupid mole?”

Sasuke gives Kakashi an exasperated look over their teammates’ heads. He gets a raised eyebrow in return – it seems that Kakashi is content with just sitting there and watching the show unfold.

The questions from their teammates have still not stopped. Sasuke rolls his eyes at Naruto and Sakura.

”Just because you guys are such lousy shinobis that you can't take a look at his dumb face yourselves, it doesn't mean that I'm just going to tell you,” he says and enjoys every second of his teammates’ desperate attempts at pleading – Naruto is just in the middle of promising to pay for his ramen for a month if Sasuke just gives him even a hint.

”I don't think being a good ninja had anything to do with you getting to see my face, Sasuke,” Kakashi claims over the pair's heads, his voice loud enough that there is no way that their teammates missed it. There’s the evil glint in his eyes again, and even though his words are intently vague, Sasuke knows exactly what he is referring to. When Naruto and Sakura swirl around to gape at their teacher, Sasuke glares at Kakashi and promptly tells the man to fuck off using the ANBU hand signals Itachi taught him when they were little. Kakashi just smirks him over Naruto’s and Sakura’s heads.

When neither Kakashi nor Sasuke agree to tell their teammates anything, Naruto eventually gives up and faceplants on the table.

”Sasuke, you're so mean...”

Sasuke digs his pockets for money and stands up.

”I'm very mean and leaving.”

Kakashi stops him, abandoning his noodles to spin around on the stool to call after Sasuke.

”Wait a second. There is something I have been meaning to tell you guys – ”

”And you couldn’t possibly have told it earlier,” Sasuke snorts but turns around to listen.

”No. But as I was saying, I have been thinking about how we could change the village. The best possible solution is to affect the system from inside.”

”Political influence,” Sakura chimes in.

”Exactly that,” Kakashi nods at her and when he continues, he is suddenly the ANBU commander again. ”We need to get somebody in the Council.”

”And you just happen to have plenty of willing politicians lying around then? Or does this magnificent plan of yours include us marching to some clan heads and threatening them to cooperate? Because I don't think any of them is very willing to listen to the crazy Uchiha now that they can blame everything on Danzou,” Sasuke asks, leaning his hip against his chair. He sounds bored and disbelieving even to his own ears.

Kakashi raises a silver eyebrow at him.

”Maa, Sasuke, you have your answer right there. All the clan heads have automatically a seat in the Council. And a leader of a founder clan would have even more influence on the decisions of the Council than a regular member.”

”Do you actually have a point?”

”Sasuke, you are the only and sole heir of the infamous Uchiha clan that is one of the two respectable founding clans of the great village of Konohagakure. The only living child of the last clan leader that himself was a direct descendant of Uchiha Madara,” Kakashi says and makes his words purposely big. “Sasuke, _you_ are the leader of the Uchiha clan.”

Sasuke blows his hair from his face and rolls his eyes at Team 7.

”I am, in fact, quite aware of that. But that doesn't matter because the Council probably removed the seat of our clan right after the massacre. Even they can't be that stupid that they would have kept it – ”

He stops when he sees Kakashi's expression.

” _No._ There's no way they – ”

Kakashi grins at him and makes Sasuke’s heart skip a beat.

”But they did. There is this clause dating back to the Founders Era that dictates that as long as there is even one member of the Uchiha clan alive, there must be a seat for them in the Council, no matter the circumstances. You have no idea how many files I had to skim through before I got my hands on that document. I have to say, Madara was clever, if nothing else.”

And suddenly Sasuke is wondering the reasons behind the Council letting him to go to Orochimaru. Now it seems that negotiating peace between the Sound and the Leaf might not have been the only reason. The Council wanted Sasuke to leave so he could kill his brother and to die soon after – maybe by his own hand, because what would there be in his life after accomplishing the one goal in his life? – and so the Council would eventually rid the village of the last two remaining Uchihas.

Naruto decides to take this moment to indulge his inner five-year-old, and throws himself again at Sasuke.

”You're a clan leader, how cool is that?” he shouts straight into Sasuke's ear and tries to swirl him around. ”You can do your clan business and I'm going to be the Hokage and then we can rule Konoha together and – ”

Sasuke tunes Naruto's babbling out and tries to focus on Sakura and Kakashi. His former teacher is leaning his head on his hand again, watching him and Naruto with low-lidded eyes. There is something in his expression that doesn’t quite fit the general mood, a certain sadness in his gaze.

Before Sasuke can ask what Kakashi is thinking, Sakura grabs his free arm and beams at him.

”I'm going to talk Tsunade-shishou about this – I think she needs make it official with the village. It's always easier to get things done with her if you butter her up a little first. You know, it’s a really good thing you talked to her today.”

That is the moment when it hits Sasuke that they are really going to do this – he will become the leader of his clan of ghosts and have the chance to make a difference in the village. With Team 7 by his side, he might even succeed in changing the system. This might turn out to be a good day after all.

Then Kakashi opens his mouth and ruins it all for Sasuke.

”I was going to tell you guys later, but seeing that you are all here, I might as well do it now. I have been assigned on a S-rank undercover mission away from the Fire Country. There is a team of us going – we need to stop a crime organisation exploiting the smaller villages and that means we have to infiltrate ourselves into their ranks. We were told to look for Danzou as well,” he explains, not really looking at any of them. “We’ll leave right after the final round of the chuunin exams. I'll be gone at least till spring.”

Sasuke, who was just mere seconds ago hopeful and something resembling happy, is now standing there with his toes freezing and feeling more heartbroken than he probably should.

o0o

_The 11th of October, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

When the day of the third round finally comes, Sasuke finds himself waiting for his turn at the rebuilt arena. He is leaning against the railing of the balcony and looking down at the stage where the first match is already going on. It's one of his genin girls against a boy little older from the Cloud. Even though the pair of genins were nothing but trouble for him, Sasuke is still cheering for the girl in his mind – he is so very proud of her when she lands a punch straight in the boy’s face.

”Ready?” comes a voice from behind him and Sasuke turns around to see Kakashi standing at the doorway, his striking gaze fixed on Sasuke.

”Quite so. And I wouldn't even need to be, they are _genins_ , Kakashi,” Sasuke says and rolls his eyes.

”So are you,” Kakashi replies and walks over to Sasuke, hands in his pockets as he studies the children fighting down in the arena. ”Did I ever mention how your greatest flaw is your arrogance?”

”Shut up,” Sasuke grunts half-heartedly and straightens his back. It's annoying to notice that even after all these years, Kakashi is so much taller than him that Sasuke has to look up when he's talking to him. ”Why are you here?”

”Can't I come to see my student before his chuunin exams?” Kakashi asks innocently, batting his eyelashes at Sasuke. His jawline looks especially good from this angle.

”No, if you ask me,” Sasuke mumbles, turning his gaze back to the genins below them, trying to hide how baffled he feels when he has a hard time taking his eyes off his former teacher. ”You are distracting me.”

”From your preparations against some lowly genins? And I'm not even doing anything, what's so distracting about me?” Kakashi asks with a mischievous gleam in his eyes, and Sasuke wishes he had kept his mouth shut. The man’s teasing doesn’t help with the realisation that Sasuke really wants to kiss him again.

When Sasuke doesn't answer anything, Kakashi hums and changes the subject.

”Did you see Naruto and Sakura already? They were so keen on coming to cheer you.”

Sasuke nods – he spotted his teammates in the audience already, two blobs of orange and pink in the distance. Naruto’s genin team didn’t make it through the second part of the exam, but Sasuke thinks he heard his best friend talking something about bringing the kids to watch the final round anyway.

The attacker from the second round was never caught, and though Konoha has pushed the security up as much as possible – that’s what Kakashi is supposed to be doing here anyway, looking after the competitors – there is a chance of another attack. That means that the Leaf isn’t taking any risks with the exams. Only the competitors, their team leaders and the exam supervisors are allowed to enter the lower levels of the arena while everybody else has to content themselves with sitting in the audience. That is why Sasuke doesn’t have his best friend hanging from his arm at the moment.

“How’s your chakra?” Kakashi asks while eyeing the genin girl swirling and spinning in the air around the dark-skinned boy in the arena. He gets Sasuke by surprise – Sasuke has forgotten himself into staring the bare skin between Kakashi’s rolled-up sleeves and the fingerless gloves he’s always wearing.

“It’s fine.”

The crowd cheering for the genins creates a constant buzzing sound that makes it hard to make out what the other is saying even when they are standing so close to each other. Sasuke tries to keep his focus on the genins instead of Kakashi – Sasuke doesn’t need the constant reminder that Kakashi is going to leave for months now when he is supposed to concentrate on his fight.

When it seems clear that the match below them is nearing its end, Sasuke checks his weapons, his hand gracing the handle of his sword he got back a few days after he was released from the hospital. Not that he thinks he has to use it against these brats.

The audience roars. Down on the arena, the fight is over and the genin from Sasuke's team is declared the winner. The screen up on the wall flashes to life and soon Sasuke sees his own name plastered on the screen. His match is up next.

There is a slight bump of a shoulder against his own, a touch of a hip against his side, and Sasuke looks up from the arena to find Kakashi leaning against the railing right next to him.

”Try not to burn down the whole place, okay?” Kakashi says and looks right into his eyes. Sasuke guesses it’s Kakashi’s way to tell him to be careful. Because despite Sasuke’s low regard of the bunch of genins in these exams, it doesn't mean that something couldn't happen. It is a real fight just as much as it is a public event. And there is always the chance of that attacker trying to retaliate.

Sasuke nods but stays where he is for a few unsure seconds. Kakashi is a warm weight against his side, their faces closer than Kakashi probably intended now that Sasuke has turned towards him – Sasuke struggles with trying not to let his gaze flicker from Kakashi’s eyes to his lips under the mask. Now it would really be the time for Kakashi make his intentions clear by closing the short distance between them and kissing him with a cheesy “Hey, for luck?” thrown there as an excuse. Sasuke could go win the whole tournament for that.

Kakashi’s brows are furrowed, his eyes almost confused as he studies Sasuke’s face. They’re only inches apart and Sasuke’s breath hitches in his throat when he feels Kakashi lean in even closer. Sasuke’s left hand clenches at his side – he wants to raise it to Kakashi’s face and pull his mask down.

Something shifts in Kakashi’s eyes and he freezes in place, his hair brushing against Sasuke’s forehead. Sasuke can’t read him at all, his own heartbeat thunders in his ears, and he almost misses the quick glance Kakashi steals at the audience where their teammates are sitting.

Confused, Sasuke opens his mouth to ask what’s wrong just when Kakashi steps away from him. It’s a long step that takes Kakashi far away from touching Sasuke. He rolls his shoulders back, straightens his spine, and all of the sudden he seems to be his usual calm and collected self, standing a good few feet away from Sasuke like there was nothing happening between them a few seconds before.

How is that for a rejection?

“When I said that you shouldn’t be underestimating the kids, I didn’t mean that you should surrender right away,” Kakashi says, barely even looking at Sasuke.

“What?”

“The exam. Your turn. As in now,” Kakashi shakes his head and shoos Sasuke towards the arena. “We were late last time, please try not to repeat that.”

“Oh, yeah, right,” Sasuke gulps, biting his lip behind the cover of his hair. His nails dig into the skin of his palms as he scrunches his hands into tight fists. Trying to escape any further embarrassment, he jumps over the railing down on the arena, not daring even to think of glancing back up at Kakashi.

Let’s see if he can control his anger or if he ends up torching up some poor kid in his frustration.


	15. Bird of Passage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite what happens in the next few chapters, this is a kakasasu fic, so don't lose hope, guys. I promise there is a reason for all of this.
> 
> Thank you so much for all your comments and for almost 200 kudos!

 

_The 12th of October, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

Kakashi leaves the day after the chuunin exams finale, long before sunrise. Sasuke is certain that Naruto and Sakura were there to see him off – they wouldn’t want to miss the chance to bid Kakashi goodbye, especially since he will be gone for so long. Sasuke, who managed to avoid running into Kakashi after the exam tournament, doesn’t have to come up with an excuse not to go to see the man – when he wakes up that morning with a sore throat, a runny nose and a head so mushy that even thinking about getting up hurts, he and his flu have to stay at home.

Despite the fact that somewhere deep inside him Sasuke feels awful for not going to see Kakashi and saying goodbye before he leaves, Sasuke is still relieved somehow. He doesn’t know what he could have said to Kakashi, how he could have looked him in the eye after that we-almost-kissed-and-then-kinda-didn’t catastrophe. It’s apparent that Sasuke has misinterpreted something – what he thought to be inside jokes and slight flirting disguised as playful teasing must have been something else.

With a thick blanket thrown over his shoulders, Sasuke wanders to the kitchen window and peers out through the frozen glass. Unexpectedly, early snow has come during the night and coloured the village white. It doesn’t usually snow during this time of the year, it’s still too warm in October for the snow to last, and Sasuke is sure that all of it will most probably melt away during the day.

He draws shapes into the glass with his finger, lines and curls, not really even trying to get his doodles look like anything. The window glass is cold under his finger and makes the skin on the tip of his finger feel numb. Sasuke feels lonelier than he thought he would. One of the few people he actually cares about will be away from his life for who knows how long, and he didn’t get to see him off.

Sasuke sneezes and tugs the blanket better on himself.

There is still the question of what he will do now that the village has accepted him back to its ranks and acknowledged his position as a shinobi of its own. After Sasuke won the tournament of the final round, as expected, there was no reason not to make him a chuunin. He guesses that with both Naruto and Sakura supporting him, Tsunade will be kindly yet firmly pressured into promoting him to jounin sooner or later, most probably sooner. Because why would she keep Sasuke doing simple C-ranks and B-ranks when she could have him in the roster for A-ranks?

But once again Sasuke comes face to face with the fact that he didn’t plan his life this far ahead. He never thought about what he would do after killing his brother – the childish dream he had of becoming an officer in the Uchiha Police Force is a relic of a time long since passed, belonging only into the memories of the sunny days that smelled like his mother’s baking and his father’s coffee at breakfast.

A part of Sasuke is screaming that he should be running around the Shinobi Countries, searching for any clues to help him hunt down Danzou and finally take his revenge – his revenge that has been the sole reason for his life ever since he was eight. His wrath may have shifted from one person to another, but his determination has stayed the same. 

But on the other hand, Sasuke wants to stay. It doesn’t matter how grudgingly he has to admit that to himself, it’s the truth. He hast lost everything so many times and he has left his team – his family – behind once already. Sasuke knows how much it would hurt to leave them for a second time. So, even though his clan is yet to be avenged, the urge to break free from Konoha and dash after Danzou isn’t that powerful – right now, with Sasuke taken down by a mere common cold, the more mature approach of waiting and planning feels like the more sensible option. Danzou has an obsession about the Hokage position and the village of Konohagakure, he will come back, there is no doubt of that. All Sasuke has to do is wait.

He isn't giving up on avenging his family – he is re-evaluating what he is willing sacrifice for the sake of revenge.

 

o0o

 

_The 23rd of October, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

Now that Sasuke is stuck with waiting for his official promotion to jounin, trying to wiggle himself out of annoying C-rank missions, and avoiding thinking about his most recent problem of having an overly-complicated relationship with his former teacher, he plans to get himself busy with other things. Kakashi's idea of officially announcing himself as the leader of the Uchiha clan and so planting himself into the village politics is a good one and has all the potential to work. Regardless of how little Sasuke cares about of Konoha, he knows that there’s an actual chance for him to get into the Council with his clan head status – a chance he doesn’t want to let slip by him. And what a sweet revenge would it be to play the Elders’ own game and beat them at it.

If he ever wants to change anything about how the world of shinobi operates, the only other option apart from world domination is getting people to like him and listen to him – neither of which Sasuke excels at, but he has to try.

If he wants to make sure that nobody will have to live through what he has, Sasuke has to try.

And so, after a few nights of mulling over the idea, Sasuke finds himself at the Hokage's office, signing the papers that make him the official head of the once mighty Uchiha clan and their representative in the Council meetings.

”I like your thinking, brat,” Tsunade comments with a sly smirk. She leans her chin on her hands, resting her elbows on the desk, and eyes his handwriting on the documents. Apparently, all the previous animosity between them has been forgotten, as she is surprisingly lenient towards his request. Either that, or Sakura is very good at flattering her mentor into doing things for her, and so for Sasuke. ”You can beat the old farts at their own game and help me run this village. Gods know that I need somebody on my side now. Half of the members are still having a pissing contest over what we are going to do about Danzou. It’s like talking to a brick wall.”

”It was Kakashi's idea,” Sasuke answers calmly, not really paying attention to her moaning as he eyes the small print on the paperwork, a paint brush forgotten in his hand. “I hadn’t even thought about the possibility of getting a seat.”

”Well, I like his thinking then,” Tsunade chuckles, leaning back on her chair. ”But be warned, the village politics are hell. The clan leaders are prone to ganging up and bitching about minor details. And don’t even get me started on the Elders. At least Danzou is now gone. One less thing to worry about,” she sighs and lowers her voice, “You need to get yourself allies if you want to survive even a month.”

”A fair warning,” Sasuke hums and turns a page. He taps his lips with the paint brush and leans his hip against Tsunade's desk. An idea hits him. ”Are there any other almost extinct clans with Council seats I could use?”

Tsunade manages a tired grin at him.

”As I said, I like your thinking. But the answer is sadly no. The only major clans affiliated with Konoha and not already involved in our politics are the Uzumakis and the Hatakes. But the Uzumakis are relevant only through a few marriages to the Senju line and therefore aren't deemed important enough, at least by anyone whose opinion counts. And the Hatake clan has diminished majorly through the years, with fewer and fewer of them becoming shinobis. They used to be an important, powerful clan once upon a time, but now there are barely any of them left. And after that unfortunate event over twenty years ago, the remaining clan was considered too disgraced to be associating with the village leaders.”

”What happened?” Sasuke asks, frozen in the middle of the motion of signing his name, wet ink dripping from the brush on the paper in droplets. Twenty years ago Kakashi was just a child, wasn’t he? There isn’t anybody alive of his clan but him – does this have something to do with him?

Tsunade has the expression of someone who has said too much and has realised their mistake only when it's already too late.

”I think that is something you have to ask your teacher and not me,” she says with a grave voice, her shoulders sagging. The Fifth whips another form from the paper file next to her and starts to fill it, promptly leaving the subject behind them. She writes something on the paper and eyes it critically for a while after she finishes it. Then she raises the document and hands it over to Sasuke. “Let’s skip all the ceremonies. I was supposed to do this soon anyway, so I might as well do it now. You’re now promoted to jounin – I saw your matches at the exams, you have earned it. And your former squad leader strongly recommended your promotion, so I had no reasons not to. We’re short-staffed enough as it is.”

Dumbfounded, Sasuke takes the document, but he is still too surprised to actually understand any of the text when he takes a look at the paper.

_Kakashi_ _recommended him_.

“Thank you.”

“Oh, don’t thank me. This was just a signature. You guys can start bowing at me when I can make a bunch of medics materialise from thin air,” she sighs.

Sasuke places the paper on top of the other documents he is holding and hoists the whole pile in his arms.

“Has there been any sighting of Danzou? Any clue where he has gone off to?”

“Unfortunately, no. It’s like he has disappeared off the face of the earth. I have had scouts running all around the Fire Country, but to no avail. And our jurisdiction ends at the borders. I have asked the other Kages to look for him as well, but I don’t know how important finding him is to them. Danzou might be hiding in the Cloud under all of our noses for all I know,” Tsunade answers, scoffing at the thought.

She leans her head on her hand and looks up Sasuke with tired eyes.

“The problem is that I don’t know what he is up to. Has he given up? Or is he planning a second try? As far as I know him, he won’t give up so easily, but there has been no sign of him since he fled. Yes, there was that assassin after you, but we have no proof he was sent by Danzou. That’s why I asked Kakashi and his team to keep an eye out for Danzou as well – who knows, maybe they hear something while undercover.”

“And there has been no news about the almost half of the village population he took with him? Shouldn’t that high number of people be spotted in no time?”

“They have probably split up into smaller groups. Danzou doubtlessly told them to disguise themselves and lay low either in the big cities or somewhere in the countryside, that is what I would have done in his situation. Or then he has found a damn good hiding place,” Tsunade huffs and if possible, hunches even more on herself. “Though the leader of my personal guard thinks that all those siding with Danzou might not have left the village with him. It isn’t entirely impossible either that Danzou has sent somebody back here to spy on us. That means my guard is always breathing down on my neck, as if I didn’t have enough on my shoulders as it is.”

“Is there a spy in Konoha then?” Sasuke asks. The idea that somebody could be able to infiltrate the village without the Hokage knowing about it is uncomfortable – and the more probable the more he thinks about it. With their numbers being so low after all those loyal Danzou abandoning Konoha, it’s harder to guard the perimeters of the village. Someone might just have slipped through.

“I don’t know. It seems unlikely, but that incident of yours during the exams got me wondering. It feels logical to think that the assassin was sent by Danzou. But the shinobi had to know that you would be in those exams. We didn’t exactly make a public announcement about you participating, so where did he get that information? But in either case, it’s clear that Danzou wants your head, so if I were you, I would keep my guard up during missions.”

And with that comment she waves him off, telling him to show up to the Council meetings soon, but only when she is there to witness it – she wants to see the chaos he is sure to create among the wrinkled old men.

 

o0o

The Council meetings are just as dull as Sasuke expected them to be. With next to no experience of political meetings or the village matters in general, he mainly focuses on trying to understand how the power balances between the Council members work. The members – clan heads, some high-ranking jounins and of course the Elders – are just as maddeningly difficult as Tsunade promised and Sasuke, alone and decades younger than the other participants, finds out that he is truly very alone.

From the first day he walks into that large, cold room, he faces nothing but resistance against himself and his ideas. Even the pricelessness of the Council members’ expressions when they see Sasuke marching into the meeting room for the first time and taking his place at the table as the representative of the Uchiha clan can’t compensate for the utter bullheadedness the Council attacks him with. They accuse him of leaving the village, they say he is too young – they think that his position as the head of the extinct Uchiha clan is a joke. And what can Sasuke counter that with when he feels so himself?

But despite the opposition hurled at his face, nobody has thrown Sasuke bodily out of the meetings yet, and at this point he counts it as a victory.

Now the only way to get any justice for his clan is to make the Council publicly admit that Konoha ordered Itachi to slaughter his own family. If Sasuke can change the infernal system at the same time, all the better.

 

o0o

 

_The 11th of November, the fourth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

A couple days after the latest Council meeting, Sasuke is at the village, grocery shopping to fill his empty fridge when he runs into Naruto. Despite the time of the year, the sun is bright that day and the pale blue sky over them clear. The nice weather feels like a miracle, as for the last few days it has been snowing nonstop, and right now Sasuke is standing knee deep in snow in the middle of the village – nobody has had time to clear the streets yet. Sasuke absentmindedly guesses that some poor genin team will be assigned to that miserable job.

Naruto spots him from across the street, emerging from the Yamanaka flower shop, his arms so full of flowers he can barely see from behind them. He runs over to Sasuke, nearly falling flat on his face twice in the deep snow, and Sasuke has half the heart to be concerned about the flowers.

“What are you doing with those?” he asks when the blond reaches him. Naruto smiles at him, tiny freckles just barely visible on his bare skin. There’s a huge, fluffy red scar wrapped around his neck and his slightly panting breath comes out as white puffs.

“Hi, Sasuke! Oh, these,” Naruto starts and shifts the mountain of flowers in his arms. “It’s Jiraiya-sensei’s birthday, or would be if he was alive, or – does it count if he isn’t anymore? – you know, anyway, I’m taking these to his grave.”

“Hn,” Sasuke has a hard time following anything that came out of his best friend’s mouth. He opts not to elaborate on Naruto’s mentor’s death. “Where do the Yamanakas get those? It’s freezing out here.”

“Ino said it’s a family secret,” Naruto grins at him, apparently having been thinking about the same thing. He rocks back and forth on his feet and the pompom of his deeply tucked knit cap sways with him at top of his head. “So ~ ” Naruto starts again, sky blue eyes focused on Sasuke, “are you doing anything interesting today?”

“If you can call grocery shopping interesting,” Sasuke answers and changes his grip on the two plastic bags he is carrying with him. “Why?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to come with me?”

“To the cemetery?”

“Yeah, well, mostly to help me with these,” Naruto says with a sheepish smile and nudges the flowers towards Sasuke,” I might have gone a little bit overboard.”

“That’s the understatement of the year,” Sasuke snorts and tugs one flower in the danger of falling off back in the jungle in his friend’s arms.

“I’ll help you with carrying your bags back home if you come?” Naruto bargains with him, batting his lashes at Sasuke, an innocent smile shining on his face.

Sasuke considers his cold hands inside his gloves, the ridiculousness of his best friend, and the long way back to the district to his lonely, big house. Sasuke doesn’t want to admit that he already misses crashing at his teammates’ homes.

“I guess I can come,” he sighs, closing his eyes, “but I’m not carrying any of those.”

“Asshole,” Naruto laughs at him and the insult loses all its bite. He kicks some snow into the air and the white powder glitters in the crispy winter air.

After a minute or two of bickering back and forth and Naruto whining the whole way, the plants and grocery bags end up being divided evenly between the two, with one bag and a scoop of the flowers for the both of them.

Sasuke wishes he had brought a hat when his ears start to sting and prickle in the cold weather.

“So, what are you going to do now that you’re jounin? Have you thought about getting a team of your own?” Naruto asks, swinging the plastic bag in his hand with such velocity and sway that Sasuke fears the bag might just take flight.

“More genins? Gods, no. I have to deal with enough incompetence with you alone,” Sasuke scoffs and chuckles at the glare Naruto gives him. “I’ll stick with the solo missions, thank you very much.”

“Huh,” is Naruto’s answer. The speed of the swings of his bag accelerates and the pompom on his hat jumps along with his long strides. “I kinda miss the A-ranks. I been so busy with my minions that I haven’t had the time to go on any real missions for a while.”

Not one of Naruto’s genins had become chuunin this year – not a surprise considering how young they are, and Naruto signed them in more for the experience itself – and that means he is stuck with them for at least another year.

Naruto laughs and it’s almost a sad sound as he glances upwards to the cloudless sky.

“We finally got you back and now none of us of the old Team 7 has the time to be with you,” he declares with a sigh. “Sensei’s off to his mission at least till spring and Sakura has barely any time out of her hospital shifts.”

So, it’s not only Sasuke who thinks he has been somehow left out and dumped back to the empty Uchiha district.

“She’s the best doctor they have after Tsunade-bachan, you know, that’s why she’s so busy. I think bachan has been thinking about resigning from the Hokage title ‘cause she wants to focus more on the hospital,” Naruto continues, dumping the information on Sasuke in a one breath, a hint of excitement to be heard in his quick words.

“Is there anybody to take the job then?”

“Of course I’m available if they ask me,” Naruto grins so widely his eyelids get wrinkled. He nearly falls on his ass when Sasuke purposely bumps into him and sends the blond into jumping on one foot to keep his balance. A loud roar of laughter erupts from the Uzumaki as he hops along. “No, Tsunade-bachan says I’m still too young and I think so too. And I wouldn’t like to leave my students so soon, I wouldn’t have any time for them if I became Hokage.”

“Who then if not you?”

“Well, the Council did ask Kakashi-sensei a few years back when Pain attacked the village and Tsunade-bachan was hurt.”

“No,” Sasuke stops on his feet, his mouth forgotten open, not really knowing if he should laugh or not. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously,” Naruto answers and bursts out giggling again at Sasuke’s dumbfounded expression. “I think he actually filled in for the job for a while when Tsunade-bachan was in coma, but he managed to slither himself out of it.”

“But he’s so – like, can you imagine him sitting there at the desk, huge piles of paperwork looming over him? That’s like, _no_ ,” Sasuke chuckles. “He would come late to every meeting ever – on purpose.”

“That’s what I said,” Naruto grins back at him.

The rest of the way to the cemetery is spent on more trivial matters, along the lines of whether Naruto is allowed to teach his oiroke no jutsu to his little genins and if either one of them can remember the name of one of Kakashi’s ninken that likes to steal clothes to chew on – something Sasuke found out during his few weeks at Kakashi’s apartment.

Naruto lowers the flowers – soon to freeze and wither away – on the grave and manages to have a moment of silence, a respectably feat from someone as bubbly as him. Sasuke has no desire to visit his family’s graves with Naruto hanging around, so they are quick to leave towards the Uchiha district, driven forwards by the freezing temperature.

When they finally get in front of Sasuke’s house, Sasuke’s fingers are numb inside his gloves, and he fears his ears have frozen and will fall off anytime soon now. Naruto’s cheeks are just as red as his woollen scarf. He turns to take the other bag from Sasuke to let the Uchiha have both his hands free to open the locked door.

“It’s was nice to hang out,” Naruto smiles as he leans against the wall of the house, watching Sasuke’s pale, stiff fingers work on finding the key. “It’s been a while since we have had time to talk, just the two of us.”

Sasuke hums absentmindedly at him, kicks the door and gets the lock open. He wedges one foot between the door to keep it from locking again and then turns to Naruto to take his bags back. When the blond hands them over, he seems to almost forget his gloved fingers hovering over Sasuke’s. They both look at their touching hands, Naruto not moving an inch and Sasuke’s hands embarrassingly shivering with cold.

Then Naruto clasps his hand over Sasuke’s, a firm, warm grip, and raises his eyes to look at the freezing Uchiha. Sasuke is hit with the sudden understanding of what exactly is going on when he sees the expression on Naruto’s face. He isn’t sure whether the tensing of his body is because of anticipation or the flight reflex.

“Sasuke, I – “

Sasuke doesn’t know what to do, whether he should stop this now, what he should think of all this. Since when has Naruto had feelings for him, why didn’t he notice this earlier – is this why Naruto asked those weird questions about Sakura? But Sasuke is still hung up on Kakashi, isn’t he? It’s been only a month since it was made clear that Sasuke would have no chance with him. It is too early to move on, right? But is there anything to move on from, really? _And_ _does he even like Naruto back_?

Naruto’s looking Sasuke straight into his eyes, a rosy blush of embarrassment on his cheeks and Sasuke is racking his brain to come up with an excuse to get himself out of this situation because he was so not ready for this and –

Naruto sneezes.

Right on Sasuke’s hands.

For a moment, the world stops and then –

“Naruto, that is _disgusting_.”

“Oh gods, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, oh gods – “ Naruto blabbers, turning into a nervous mess. “Let me see if I have something to wipe it off with – “

“Naruto,” Sasuke says with ice in his voice and casts his eyes upwards in all-suffering calmness. He stares at the ceiling and prays his dead ancestors for strength as he waits for Naruto to listen.

“ – I swear I had something in here, just wait a second – “

“Naruto.”

“ – maybe this pocket – okay, no, how about this one – “

“ _Naruto_!”

“Yes?” the blond finally stops whatever he is doing and looks at Sasuke.

 “Get out.”

 

o0o

 

Weeks pass by and Sasuke falls into the dullness of the everyday life of a shinobi. Though he has been completing missions for the village a little over a month now, they are still mostly B-ranks with an occasional A-rank thrown into the mix. There are no signs of the S-ranks he knows he would be assigned on if it weren’t for his history of being a missing-nin. Guess there are still some people in Konoha that don’t buy his story about the massacre and don’t want to accept him back to the village. The shinobis of Konohagakure still don’t quite trust him, and that shows in the easy, simple missions Sasuke gets.

It’s even more obvious with the Council – more often than not he gets dirty looks thrown his way, and Sasuke is certain that if it weren’t for Tsunade actively backing him up, the Elders would probably have find a way to kick him out of the Council already.

Apart from his missions Sasuke stays at home or visits the training grounds, avoiding the centre of the village and the crowds – Sasuke doesn’t consider himself anymore social than he was six years ago and is quite happy to stick to himself. Now that Kakashi is off to his mission and Sakura is busier and busier with the hospital, the scarce meetings of Team 7 die off and it’s mostly Naruto who keeps coming back to bug him.

After the hand holding incident Sasuke’s eyes have opened and now he sees what Naruto is trying to accomplish – the bright smiles and lingering touches are there, coming more and more frequent and Sasuke has no idea what to do with them. Now he understands the long gazes from Kakashi – partly, at least. It’s obvious that his former teacher had noticed Naruto’s developing crush much earlier than Sasuke, but why would Kakashi pay any attention to it if he didn’t have feelings for Sasuke in the first place?

On one hand, Sasuke is almost toying with the idea of Naruto and him – there has always been a certain pull between them, and he can’t say he hasn’t warmed up to the blond during the last few months. Naruto has always been there at his side no matter the circumstances, he accepted Sasuke whole-heartedly back to Konoha and into his life the moment Sasuke walked up to the village gates last April, broken and doubting and vengeful. Naruto has clearly matured from the snotty, loud-mouthed brat he used to be, and the thought of them together isn’t that impossible. And the idea of a relationship based on a strong friendship – Naruto is his best friend, can Sasuke ask for anything better? – feels like a serene, sensible thing after the chaos his life has been for the last year, no, for the last decade.

On the other hand, there is the overly-complicated situation of Sasuke’s puzzling relationship with Kakashi. They did agree that the night almost a year ago was nothing but a one-night-thing, but they have kissed after that, nearly twice. Sasuke had thought that there had been an attraction of some kind lingering between them – he had hoped so. After the frantic kiss, the bed-sharing, the suggestive jokes he had really thought that they had slowly been heading towards something. But now it’s clear that Kakashi doesn’t want that kind of relationship with him.

Maybe it would be a good idea to try to let go of him – Sasuke doesn’t want to lose his friendship over this. He has learned to count on Kakashi so much, what is Sasuke supposed to do if he suddenly doesn’t have Kakashi there to listen to him and save him out of trouble anymore? Even this hiccup in their relationship, this kiss that didn’t ever happen, is enough to make Sasuke feel scared. What if things continue to be as awkward between them when Kakashi comes back?

Sasuke finds himself comparing the two. Naruto is his best friend with radiant smiles and warm hands. Over the dark months Sasuke spent locked up in prison, Naruto kept coming back to see him over and over again, and Sasuke can’t help but appreciate the sentiment. With Kakashi the relationship is more blurred with darker edges of sexual tension and their position as former teacher and student. Where Naruto is broad grins and friendship and infinite amount of bubbly energy, Kakashi is sarcastic comments and comfortable silence and the unaddressed fact that they are more alike than neither of them is ready to admit.

Why is it so hard to choose when he really has only one option left?

Sasuke never wanted any of this.


	16. Dark Clouds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter didn't want to be written and I didn't want to write it - I don't understand how it became so huge. And as I said, this is a kakasasu fic, I promise. 
> 
> I actually do like Sai, I don't know how this happened.
> 
> Thank you so much for over 200 kudos!

 

_The 31st of December, the fourth year of peace  
__Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

December turns towards its end and New Year’s Eve is soon upon them. Sasuke hadn’t even realised how fast time has passed – when he compares his life to what it was a year back, it does amaze him how much has changed since then. Twelve months ago, he was spending the night in a gaudy inn somewhere deep in the civilian lands and far off the maps, shooing away drunken townspeople. The only thing on his mind that night had been planning his return to Orochimaru’s lair – Sasuke had still been serving the Sannin. Since that night, he has lost a brother, gained a family, and stopped a coup to save a village he despises.

This time Sasuke celebrates the turning of the year on the snow-covered streets of Konoha, under the starry sky of his birth village. The whole centre of the village has been decorated with delicate lanterns, and there is a promise of fireworks later in the evening. Sasuke has been dragged out into the frosty weather by Naruto and Sakura who refused to leave him at home to relax on his own – to sulk, his teammates said and promptly pushed him out of the door.

Now, with a thick, dark yukata keeping him warm, Sasuke can agree that it might have not been such a bad idea to come after all. Naruto keeps diving into every food vendor’s stall he can find, his arms and mouth full of festival sweets. His yukata – one of a remarkably tame shade of orange – is hanging slightly askew on his shoulders, and his wild hair that sticks out to every direction possible is covered in snowflakes. Sakura is walking by Sasuke’s side, grabbing his sleeve every now and then and pointing things out to him from the colourful crowd. There is a delicate flower tucked into her hair and the redness of her cheeks, caused by the cold, contrasts with her green eyes as she keeps chuckling at Naruto’s antics.

If Kakashi was there, hanging around with an obscene book in his hand and a gentle half-smile on his face, it would be as if Sasuke had never left, their Team 7 together like nothing had ever broken them apart.

With his friends occupied with a particularly talkative merchant, Sasuke spares a moment to wonder how their former teacher is doing. Kakashi has been gone for almost three months now, with no word from him, and he is not expected to return until late spring. In his own way, Sasuke misses him – he had learned to rely on the man again during the year he has been back, and now that Kakashi is away, Sasuke realizes that he has been taking his steady support for granted. Though the rejection hurts and his heart is still raw, Sasuke would rather have Kakashi here and stumble through their inevitable awkward conversations than live with this hollow feeling of missing someone.

Naruto snaps his attention from the questionable delicacies of the food stall and spins around to stare at something in the distance – he seems to have spotted a familiar face in the festive crowds.

“Kiba!” he shouts with a wide grin on his face, his hand raised up in an elaborate wave. A tall, built-up young man turns towards their little group and yells his just as excited greeting from the other end of the street, a huge dog wagging its tail at his side.

Naruto gives an apologetic smile to Sakura and Sasuke, and already takes steps towards Kiba as he speaks.

“I’m gonna go say hi, if that’s okay with you guys. Kiba’s been helping me with the kids so – I can catch up with you later – “ he blabbers, the words pouring out of him.

“Just go already,” Sakura sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose, pretending to be exasperated. When Naruto swirls around to run up to Kiba, she plants her hands on her hips and shakes her head at his receding back. But when their teammate is far enough from them not to hear her, Sakura chuckles and lets her flower-patterned shoulders drop. “He’s so excited about his team,” she says, an affectionate smile on her face.

"He sure is,” Sasuke hums and wishes his yukata had pockets he could tuck his hands into.

Sakura looks up at him, then back towards the direction Naruto disappeared off to, and something shifts in her eyes. Her whole posture changes as she bites into her lower lip and tugs a lock of her light hair free from her bun to twirl it nervously around her finger.

"Sasuke-kun, do you want to go look for a good place to watch the fireworks?” she asks and Sasuke wonders why she suddenly started to use the honorific after his name again.

He doesn’t come up with a reason to say no to her, and Sakura leads him through the streets a little bit away from the centre of the village and all the festival lights, in a search of a high rooftop to use as a vantage point. Sasuke follows a few steps behind her, his thoughts already forgotten somewhere else than the layout of the village.

They are still wandering around when Sakura starts talking again. She has her back to Sasuke and her face is craned upwards as she sizes up the buildings next to them.

“You know, this is just like the dreams I used to have when I was little,” she says, glancing back at Sasuke who tries his best to understand what they are talking about.

“Dreams about what?” Sasuke asks, not quite grasping what she is trying to say.

Sakura turns around on her heels, and stray curls loosen from her intricate bun and sway over her flushed face. She takes a hasty breath, rocking her weight on her feet, and closes her eyes.

“I always dreamt that I would get to spend a New Year’s Eve like this with the boy I love, just the two of us counting down to midnight and watching the fireworks together.”

Well, this didn’t go as planned.

“Sakura – “

“I’ve been wanting to say that for such a long time. You can’t imagine how happy I was when you came back and I thought that maybe this was my second chance – I have missed you so much – I have been so busy with the hospital, but I always thought about you, I never forgot about you – “

“Sakura,” Sasuke tries to interrupt her, feeling awkward and out of place, but she won’t stop now that she has got herself started.

“ – I have been thinking about when I should tell you how I feel, and when Naruto left us alone, I knew this was the moment. It’s so romantic, it’s New Year’s Eve and snow is falling and – “ she explains, eyes shining and a rosy blush spreading over her cheeks.

Sasuke feels so bad for her.

He takes Sakura by her arms, nearly shaking her to get her to listen, and then he looks her right into her eyes.

“ _Sakura_!” he snaps and startles even himself with how harsh he sounds. “Stop.”

She blinks at him, a sheepish smile on her face. She hasn’t realised yet what is going on.

“I don’t feel that way about you. I’m sorry if I somehow gave you the impression that I did but – “ he tries to explain, desperate, and his tense fingers dig into her arms.

Now she gets it. A sniff escapes her and she slams a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide. Sasuke doesn’t know what she has been building up in her head these last months because she seems to take his refusal so much harder than she did years back.

He can’t help noticing the tears that threaten to spill from her eyes.

“I can’t change how I feel,” Sasuke says, trying to be honest without hurting her, and seems to just make it worse for Sakura.

“No, I shouldn’t – I shouldn’t have assumed,” she cries, her voice breaks, and she turns her head to side, trying to hide her tears. “I need a moment, I – I’m sorry – “ she barely manages to utter and then she is running away and leaving Sasuke to stand there alone in the snow.

He watches after her, his heart sinking in his chest. The hem of Sakura’s kimono flows in the wind as she turns around the corner and disappears from his sight.

Sasuke never wanted to break Sakura’s heart or hurt her feelings. If he had felt anything towards her, he would have told her ages ago – he sees no use in putting on the act of not caring to make himself seem more interesting. He does feel sorry for her. But at the same time, he is almost angry that even after all these years she hasn’t taken a no for an answer. It would be so much better for her to just move on, for her sake.

Somewhat shaken by the whole ordeal, Sasuke tries to swallow the hysterical laughter bubbling in his throat. Two of the three members of his team have tried to confess their love for him in a few months’ time, he has slept with the third one, and only to be rejected by him later. And just as his luck would have it, the one teammate Sasuke might have feelings for is the one who _doesn’t_ have a crush on him. If he wasn’t the one in the centre of this ridiculous mess, Sasuke would find the whole situation utterly hilarious.

But right now, with an icy breath blowing against his back, there is only the grim realisation that the makeshift family he has tried to scrape around him is falling into pieces and fast. What if Sakura and he never get pass this? Her feelings didn’t feel like a simple crush anymore. No, this time Sakura had really got to know him during these last months instead of worshipping a conjured image of him like she had during their teenage years. And now she has fallen for him for the thousandth time. What if she can’t move on – what if this is all she can ever remember when she thinks of him?

They had started to get along so well. It would be such a shame to lose a friend over romantic feelings. If she had never told him, they wouldn’t be here with both of them feeling miserable and their friendship potentially gone.

Just like Sasuke would never have got himself into the danger of losing Kakashi if he had just kept himself in check at the arena.

“So, you don’t know how to talk to women either.”

Sasuke doesn’t appreciate someone sneaking up on him, and he does so even less when they actually manage to surprise him. Hiding his irritation, Sasuke turns his head to glance at the direction where the voice came from, studying the newcomer from the corner of his eye.

Sai comes out from the shadow of a nearby building, casually brushing snow off his shoulders. There is that unnatural smile on his pale face again, and even though Sai’s eyes are closed to make the expression look sincerer, Sasuke is certain he is aware of Sasuke’s every moment anyway.

“I don’t think it’s any of your business what I can do or not,” Sasuke states back at Sai. He’s already planning to walk away – Sasuke has no interest in this man and he doesn’t consider it necessary to fake any, especially when Sai had the audacity to spy on Sakura and him – when Sai starts speaking again.

“I still can’t see why Naruto and Sakura think so highly of you. You’re not that special.”

“And I can’t understand why they keep you around either,” Sasuke scoffs and shifts his weight from one foot to another, crossing his arms and tugging his fists into the wide sleeves of his yukata. “What do you want?”

“I thought I heard Sakura crying so I came to check what was wrong with her. That’s what teammates are supposed to do, help each other instead of making their friends cry.”

“And did you read that from one of those books of yours?”

“I don’t need to read it from a book to know that’s the right thing to do. But apparently _you_ should take a look at one,” Sai says, not losing the infuriating grin for a second. He steps into the colourful lights of the festival lanterns and Sasuke can see that he’s not wearing traditional festival clothes but a dark cloak that goes all the way down to his ankles and covers his entire body. The cloak sways with his steps and the motion reveals a hint of the white and black armour beneath the heavy fabric. Sai is not here as a guest but as a member of the ANBU.

Sasuke doesn’t let himself be threatened by the fact.

“Well, if you didn’t see, Sakura went that way so I suggest you go after her. Since you were so worried about her and all. I have no intention to waste my time on you.”

“Oh, but I want to talk with you. You’re interesting under that prickly shell of yours,” Sai exclaims and walks up closer to Sasuke than the latter would like – they are not friends and Sasuke likes his personal space too much to share it with someone who is practically a stranger. “Both Naruto and Sakura are head over heels for you and even Kakashi-san has seemed to be more at peace ever since you returned. I would very much like to see the side of you they adore so.”

“And you decided that the appropriate time for that is now?” Sasuke mocks, quirking a sleek eyebrow at Sai. “I thought that ANBU members weren’t allowed to reveal their identities to anyone – to what do I owe the unpleasant honour?”

“It hasn’t been a secret for a long time that I’m in the ANBU forces. And I was fairly certain that someone of your old team had told you about me ages ago. So, it doesn’t really matter that you see me in this armour now.”

“Well, I have no desire to stare at either it or you, so you can freely fuck off whenever you feel like it.”

“I’m in no hurry,” Sai quips back, his voice all cheery and bright like they were just two friends having a chat. “Sakura has probably found Naruto and his shoulder to cry on already, and the village seems quite peaceful, my squad won’t need me back yet. I might use my time well and get to know you.”

Sasuke sneers at the thought of having to spend any more time with Sai who clearly doesn’t have a very high opinion of him either. Sasuke considers simply walking away, but he guesses that Sai has been friends with Naruto long enough to have learned that the best way to drive Sasuke crazy is to keep following him until the Uchiha gives in and explodes.

Having this creep tailing him for the rest of the night isn’t a particularly pleasant thought.

“Fine. Stick around and _get to know me_ then if it’s so damned important to you. But in return you’ll tell me what you know about Danzou,” Sasuke says, raising his chin, and gives Sai a bored look.

“Why should I tell you anything?” Sai asks and tilts his head to the side. With the weird artificial smile the gesture looks mocking, like he is belittling Sasuke. “Meaning, if I was able to.”

“What do you mean, able to?” Sasuke grunts. He is getting enough of this conversation already – it’s been a while since he last felt this out of the loop.

To Sasuke’s further astonishment and slight disgust, Sai steps even closer and opens his mouth wide. Sasuke is already backing away, his hand searching for his sword that is not at his hip, when he realises what Sai is trying to show him. There is an intricate black pattern on the other man’s tongue.

“It’s a cursed seal. I can’t tell you anything about the ROOT or Danzou-sama.”

“Danzou placed that on you, didn’t he? Why am I not surprised?” Sasuke sighs, letting his shoulders relax as Sai closes his mouth and takes a small step back, creating a little more comfortable distance between them. Danzou guarding his secrets like a hawk was only to be expected. If the councillor can make a thirteen-year-old slaughter his own clan, and then steal their eyes, the thought of Danzou branding his soldiers and forcing them to silence isn’t really that hard to swallow.

“Can’t say anything to that either,” Sai chimes, placing his hands on his hips under his cloak. Sasuke catches a flash of a white ANBU mask hanging from his belt, but it’s only that, a quick look, and the design of the mask remains hidden from him.

“Are those mandatory for all ROOT members or are you just a special case? Wait, you can’t answer that either, right?”

“Maybe,” is what Sai decides to share.

“So, basically you’re saying that you are no use to me at all,” Sasuke scoffs, looking down his nose at Sai with narrowed eyes. He doesn’t understand how Sai can get more on his nerves than Naruto and Kakashi combined.

“Well, I never said that I was going to tell you anything.”

“You know, considering that you are supposed to be Naruto’s friend, you sure are very rude to his _best_ friend. Have you thought that us not getting along might make him less than happy?”

“I’m the one making any effort for us to get to know each other – you’re the asshole.”

Sasuke glares at Sai. He doesn’t like his replacement any more than he did before this conversation. He covers his eyes with his hand and takes a deep sigh through his nose. Where does Naruto keep finding these weirdos?

“First of all, you’re not any less of an asshole than I am,” he hisses as he glances up at Sai again. If it weren’t for the possible information about Danzou or his forces he might still get out of this guy, Sasuke would have scorched Sai with his chidori and gone home long ago. But Sasuke has a former ROOT member right in front of him, so he has to at least try to bear the insults until he gets his answers. “Let’s try talking then. Is there anything you can tell me about Danzou or his men? What about that brute he has doing all his dirty work for him, the one with the tiger mask? Who is he?”

“Ah, I do remember Tiger. He is an even bigger bastard than you are. A dangerous, over-confident guy that worships the ground Danzou walks on. He used to bully us younger ones in the force when he was bored. Good times,” Sai says with a cheerful smile, grabbing a shuriken from his pocket to twirl it with his fingers as he speaks.

“I have met him. A pleasant acquaintance, that one. Anything else?”

“Basically, you could say that he is Danzou-sama’s right hand man. I bet Tiger would have become the leader of the new Hokage’s personal guard if Danzou-sama had managed to stay in the position any longer. I have come to understand that it is a very important acknowledgement to be asked to guard the Hokage. That might say something about how valuable Tiger is to Danzou-sama.”

“Do you know about his sealing techniques? Is there anything that might affect one’s chakra over a long time?” Sasuke asks, concentrating to keeping his voice level – he doesn’t want to give Sai any clues about how much this question, and especially the answer, mean to him.

“I don’t know anything about that. And I’m not sure if I could tell you even if I knew. The abilities of squad members are valuable tactical knowledge, you see.”

Frustratingly enough, Sai appears to be a dead end when it comes to getting any intel on Danzou. Sasuke had counted on finding out something new from a man that served directly under the councillor – something that he could use against the old bastard. Instead Sasuke gets a bunch of empty answers and a confirmation that Tiger is a dangerous shinobi and loyal to a fault, all of which he already knew. Did he really endure all this annoying smiling for nothing?

“But why are the ANBU forces spread around the village now? We are not expecting an attack, are we?” he asks, turning his focus back to Sai’s choice of attire and what it means.

“No. But both the Hokage and the Council are suspecting that there is a spy in the village. There have been signs of unauthorised entry in the Hokage Tower and the archives. Hokage-sama doesn’t want to take any risks now that the villagers are out on the streets tonight,” Sai explains and finally, _finally_ , loses the smile and leaves his face blank.

“Tsunade suspects Danzou sent this spy, doesn’t she?”

“He is the most likely option, yes. But the problem is that nobody has seen the infiltrator – we have no idea what we are looking for. Is it someone who never left with Danzou-sama, maybe someone who stayed in the village under false pretences and remained loyal to him? Or is it someone from the outside, one of his own men coming back in a disguise?”

“And why are you telling me this?” Sasuke asks, furrowing his brows as he studies the ANBU member in front of him. It’s not like Sasuke couldn’t have thought of those possibilities himself, he has infiltrated his share of villages and fortresses to know how it is done.

Above them the fireworks bloom into life, colouring the whole sky with fire and sparks. Loud cheering can be heard all the way from the centre of the village as the crowd gathered at the main square admires the show. The deep sounds of the fireworks going off high up in the sky resonate in Sasuke’s chest, a heavy feeling under his ribcage.

“Oh, I just thought that maybe you would have some ideas about where the spy might be, considering that you used to be a missing-nin and all. Care to share your insights on where you think they might be staying or who they might be pretending to be?” Sai asks. His face looks eerie in the flashing lights. “Now that I think about it, there is an entire part of the village empty and unused – that would be a good hiding place for a spy, don’t you think? Weren’t you looking for somebody to buy a house or two? Maybe you have found somebody already but haven’t had the time to share the happy news?”

What the fuck is this guy’s problem?

“Are you accusing me of something?” Sasuke asks in a cold voice, his mouth tight and shoulders hard. Another wave of fireworks goes off in the sky, and the loud blasts they create blend into the dark, heavy pressure of his chakra gathering inside his chest.

“I don’t know – am I?”

“Shouldn’t you know that the only thing I want out of Danzou is the chance to kill him? Why would I ever help him with anything – even though I couldn’t give two shits about this village, it doesn’t mean I would try to destroy it with _Danzou_ ,” Sasuke spits. “So, no. I don’t have any spies stored in my district, or anywhere else for that matter. I haven’t seen anything, or heard anything, and I certainly wouldn’t tell _you_ if I had.”

Sai doesn’t even blink at his outburst.

“No, still can’t see it. You must have brainwashed Team 7 when you were kids or something, I can’t understand their devotion to you otherwise. All I can see is a traitor to the village, nothing else,” he states with a straight face, his dark eyes empty as he stares at Sasuke.

“You’ll stay the fuck away from them,” Sasuke hisses. “You’ll stay away from Naruto, you’ll stay away from Sakura and you’ll stay away from Kakashi.”

“And what gives you the right to tell me that? _You_ left them – you have no right to demand them back. Your place in Team 7 has been filled,” Sai growls and for the first time Sasuke spots a hint of real emotion on his face. “You don’t have any idea what you leaving did to them, how everything in their world stopped the second somebody barely mentioned your name. I was there for them when you weren’t. You can’t just waltz back in here and expect everything to be the same. It’s appalling what you do to them. First you come back and practically demand them to drop everything for you, and when you finally have them begging for your attention, you throw them away!”

“I do not! How fucking dare you?”

“You do not?” Sai laughs. “Just what was that with Sakura then? She has loved you for years!”

“It doesn’t mean that I have to love her back,” Sasuke gnarls. “But I never meant to hurt her, and you don’t get to use her against me.”

Sai stares at him with cold eyes.

“You don’t deserve them. Any of them,” he states with certain finality in his voice, and somehow Sasuke feels that he wasn’t the winner of this fight. With a dramatic flair of his cape, Sai turns around and walks away into the shadows of the night.

Sasuke glares at Sai’s way until he can no longer see him, his jaw clenched and fists tight.

So much for getting along with Sai then.

 

o0o

 

_The 5th of January, the fifth year of peace  
Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

With Sakura quite pronouncedly avoiding him, Sasuke spends more and more time with Naruto. After a couple weeks of the continued not so accidental touches and not so well-hidden lingering gazes from the blue eyes, Sasuke is sure that he didn’t misunderstand Naruto’s intentions that one time and that his best friend really does have a soft spot for him.

Today the pair of them are headed towards the training grounds together. Naruto sticks out from the pure white snow like a beacon in his orange, lumpy jumper as he skips onwards on the icy path next to Sasuke. Sasuke is hiding behind a dark scarf wrapped around his neck and face – the cold gets to his skin more than it does to Naruto’s, and he can already feel his cheeks tingling.

Sasuke has actually been expecting a chance to get to beat somebody up – training empties his brain, there is no time to think about anything else but all the ways to win the match. There is no time for worrying about upsetting Sakura, or getting on Sai’s bad side, or cursing the stupidity of the Council and their refusal to agree to anything Sasuke suggests. No time for mulling over the fact he really misses Kakashi, or wondering about Naruto’s assumed feelings for him. No, there is no time for anything else but the kicks and punches and the sound of his own ragged breathing in his ears.

“So, how is it going with the Council nowadays?” Naruto asks when they get to the training field and start their practise battle. He throws a kunai at Sasuke, whirling in the snow around the other young man.

Sasuke steps aside from the blade’s path with ease.

“I would like to introduce all of them to my amaterasu, that’s how it’s going. Most of them are stubborn idiots who refuse to listen to anything I say. They refuse to see the problems with the system,” he scoffs and runs up to Naruto to engage him in a taijutsu match. He punches with anger while Naruto blocks his attacks, more focused to listening to Sasuke than beating him up. Sasuke’s voice has a mocking tone as he quotes the Elders. “ _Why should we take care of the orphans? We have many shinobis in our ranks who were orphaned at a young age and left alone ever since and they all survived. We don’t need to do anything about it._ Fuck that, you were left alone ever since you were born, I was left to stay alone in my family’s home after the massacre. Is either of us sane in any way? No!”

“But Gaara agreed to have orphanages built in Sand when I talked him about it last spring, why can’t Konoha do it? It’s not like it’s a sign of weakness if other villages do it too,” Naruto asks, his eyebrows wrinkled, as he finally goes on the offensive and aims a high kick towards Sasuke.

“Because it costs money, that’s why. The Elders are sitting on the village funds. I said that Konoha could have some of the houses in the district for the orphanages, hell, all of them, if it was about the building costs,” Sasuke hisses, jumps over Naruto’s leg, and launches into a series of sharp blows and hits. “But at this point they say no to everything just because it’s me asking.”

“Is there really nobody there on your side? What happened to all those people that rose to resist Danzou and demand better ways of leading the village?”

“The coup happened. They got rid of Danzou, the common enemy is gone – there is no reason to stick together and agree on things anymore. There are a few clan heads with brains in the Council, yes, but it doesn’t make up for the majority of them being idiots. Or so scared of the Elders that they vote whatever the Elders tell them to vote,” Sasuke growls. By now he is hot underneath his many layers of shirts and coats, and all this ranting about the Council is making him angry.

“What about Tsunade-bachan? Can’t she do anything to help?” Naruto asks, forgetting to focus on their battle, and nearly stumbles over his feet when Sasuke lands a kick on his knee.

“She is helping me, I’m helping her – we agree on almost everything. But the Hokage can’t overrule the Council, she’s basically just another member. The two of us can’t make miracles happen.”

“Does that mean that you’re giving up already?”

“No, of course not,” Sasuke says and scrunches his nose up at Naruto. “I don’t do giving up, you know that. And I’m not done with revealing the truth about my clan either. Tsunade and I, we are preparing an official plea about it. It’s been almost a half a year since the coup, the general atmosphere in the village isn’t that unsteady anymore. Up until now I have been expecting the Council to have a backbone and admit the truth. It’s obviously not going to work that way, so we decided that maybe going through the legal ways might work.”

“I wish you guys good luck then,” Naruto smiles at him, just before sending a strong punch towards Sasuke’s face. Luckily, Sasuke isn’t distracted that easily and he dodges away from the attack. Though it doesn’t feel like he got out of trouble when Naruto changes the subject. “Do you know what’s wrong with Sakura? She left the festival early and she has looked kinda upset the few times I have seen her since. She won’t tell me anything.”

This is the first time during their training match that Sasuke misses his mark, all the usual strength behind his hits suddenly gone, and his aim is seriously off.

Naruto catches it all.

“So, you know something about it. What is it?”

“She – ” Sasuke starts but doesn’t really find the words to tell Naruto what happened without this ending in his best friend punching him in the face. He stops in his place, lowering his hands and letting himself relax from his fighting stance, Naruto following suite. Sasuke doesn’t quite look Naruto in the eye when he begins again. “She confessed to me at the festival. She has been in love with me this whole time and somehow she has been harbouring the idea that I liked her back.”

“So you told her to fuck off?”

“No! I said that I didn’t see her that way, that she is my friend. She started to cry anyway.”

“And then she ran away, didn’t she? And you didn’t go after her?” Naruto curses and covers his eyes with his hand. “I swear you’re just as bad as Sai sometimes…”

Sasuke can’t wait to hear what Naruto will say when he hears what Sai had to say about their team.

“You should really know something about Sai – “

“Oh no, don’t you dare try to wiggle yourself out of this. We can talk about Sai later, but now, _focus_. You were telling me about Sakura,” Naruto commands and gives Sasuke a firm stare that tells him that there is no way to divert Naruto from this particular topic.

“Well, she didn’t exactly look like she wanted anything to do with me after that.”

Naruto gives him another exasperated look and it feels really weird to be in the receiving end of such a scorning expression when it’s Naruto giving it. Then Sasuke notices redness flaring on Naruto’s whiskered cheeks, but he isn’t certain whether it’s because of the cold or something else.

“Is that the only reason you don’t want to be with her? Because you don’t _like_ her?” Naruto asks, and this time it’s his turn to avoid Sasuke’s eyes.

“Why would I need another reason?”

“No, no, I didn’t mean that you needed to have another one,” Naruto jumps to explain, his words hasty again as he waves his hands in a dismissing manner. “I just thought that you might have had one. Like that maybe you liked someone else.”

Sasuke’s mouth is faster than his brain.

“Yeah, well, maybe I do. What about it?” he blurts out, realising only after just what came out of his mouth. He tries to play it cool, not letting any kind of expression on his face and refusing to admit it to himself that it’s certainly not Naruto he is talking about.

While Sasuke might have his own face in control, Naruto does not. There is a desperately hopeful look in his face, his bright eyes shining, and an even more furious blush blazing on his cheeks.

“Oh. Who is it?”

“I’m not telling you. Forget that I said anything.”

“That’s not fair! I’m your best friend, you’re supposed to tell me everything!”

“That’s too bad,” Sasuke states and scoops a handful of snow in his hand. He doesn’t give Naruto any time to prepare himself before he throws it at his face.

Naruto splutters the snow from his mouth and wipes the rest from his face.

“Oh, that’s it,” he laughs with an ominous tint in his voice. Then he throws himself at Sasuke and sends them both tumbling over each other in the powder snow, cheeks red and noses running, hair under their knit caps messy and sweaty. Naruto manages to get some snow under Sasuke’s coat, and now his shirt underneath is wet and cold and disgusting, and Sasuke is shivering and his teeth clattering.

Maybe it’s their long history of rivalry and friendship combined with the memory of that accidental kiss during their academy days that causes it. Or maybe it’s because Sasuke wants to get back at Kakashi in some fucked-up way for rejecting him. The reason doesn’t really matter, because when Naruto laughs at Sasuke’s misery and leans forward to kiss him to make it better, Sasuke lets him.

Naruto tastes a little bit like the cheap cupcakes they sell in the shop next to the Yamanaka flower shop, and it’s probably Naruto’s first real kiss considering how awkward and fumbling it is, but the smile he gives Sasuke afterwards makes up for the sloppy kiss. It doesn’t take Sasuke’s breath away like when Kakashi kisses him, but that doesn’t mean the kiss isn’t nice, even though it doesn’t send shivers down his spine.

There are freckles on Naruto’s nose that Sasuke hasn’t noticed before and his red scarf pools on Sasuke’s lap as Naruto is still leaning close to him. It’s the almost shy way his best friend studies Sasuke that makes the last Uchiha grin back at Naruto, a lopsided smirk at the corner of his mouth.

If Kakashi doesn’t want him, that’s just fine. He has no idea what he is missing.

 

o0o

 

Somehow it all escalates from there. It starts with innocent, cheery dates full of Naruto babbling away and Sasuke listening in silence, first at Ichiraku’s and then at some random cafés Naruto finds as he roams around the village. They fall back to Sasuke sometimes staying at Naruto’s place, but he still spends the nights at the couch – they decide to move slowly because it is Naruto’s first relationship and Sasuke wants to do things in the proper order for once.

And when winter finally starts to turn towards spring, Naruto packs his things from his small apartment and comes to live with Sasuke in his large, cold house that Sasuke hates to stay in alone, cut off from the rest of the village. Naruto conquers the house like a hurricane, and soon there are hideously orange things spread all around the old house. For the first time since Sasuke moved back to the district, the house starts to feel like something he could someday call a home.

Sasuke doesn’t have the time to think about what was happening between him and Kakashi before the man left, if there was something there that he could have had instead of this – he doesn’t think about Kakashi much for the next few months, and instead happily focuses on what he is trying to build with Naruto, and for a little while it seems like everything's going to be alright.


	17. Hoarfrost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have fallen in love with Tsunade. And I miss Kakashi.

 

_The 12th of March, the fifth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

Sakura comes by the house that morning, the zipper of her jounin vest tucked as up as it can go under her chin, and her pastel hair swinging in a ponytail. Sasuke doesn’t expect her to be behind the door when he goes to open it, and honestly, he is surprised enough that he ends up blinking sheepishly at her. He is painfully aware of the fact that he woke up barely a few minutes ago while it’s clear she has been up for a couple of hours already.

She manages a flustered half-smile at him and tangles her arms around herself, not knowing what to do with them.

“Hi,” she says, her voice pitched higher than Sasuke is used to hearing from her, and she seems to flinch at the sound of her own weak voice too. She squeezes her arms tighter around herself and scuffles her feet, kicking some snow away from the porch.

Sasuke can’t take the heavy silence any longer.

“Are you looking for Naruto? I think he’s still sleeping, but I can go wake him up if you have something – “ he starts, feeling awkward in his rumpled sleeping clothes. His bare toes peek out from under the hem of his pants and the cool weather is already making them tingle.

“No, no, it was you I wanted to see,” Sakura bursts into explaining, releases her tightly wrapped arms and waves them in front of her as a nervous giggle escapes her. “If you don’t mind, that’s it.”

Sasuke turns back to face her – he was already backing away from the door to go fetch Naruto since he thought Sakura would want nothing to do with him.

“Okay?” he says slowly, hesitant, and raises a questioning eyebrow at her.

Sakura closes her eyes and takes a deep breath through her nose. It’s still snowing outside, like a white curtain swaying behind her as she tries to recollect what Sasuke guesses is a rehearsed speech.

“I’m sorry that I put you in an uncomfortable situation,” she says and opens her eyes, keeping her gaze just a bit off Sasuke’s face as she struggles with her words, “I’m sorry that I assumed that you felt the same way about me, instead of asking what you actually wanted.”

There’s an uneasy pause as Sasuke waits for her to continue while Sakura is apparently already finished with what she came here to say.

“Oh,” is Sasuke’s unintelligent reply before he can catch his mouth. Almost as embarrassed as her, he tries again. “Thanks. And it’s alright, I guess.”

They seem to be reading from two completely different scripts because what she says next throws Sasuke off again.

“But I can’t change how I feel either,” Sakura states, hurling Sasuke’s own words back at him. “I have loved you all these years and I can’t just stop it like it meant nothing.”

Sasuke shifts his weight from one foot to another and back again, not knowing where to look. His feet are getting cold and he would really like to go back inside and forget about this conversation. He has no idea if she even knows that he is with Naruto – it’s not that unusual for the boys to crash on each other’s couches that she would think it odd that Sasuke offered to go get Naruto. A part of taking their relationship slowly has meant that they haven’t told Sakura yet – it would have felt cruel to break the news to her so shortly after the events on New Year’s Eve, and for some reason they haven’t managed to bring it up with her since. Sakura avoiding Sasuke like the plague might have something to do with it too.

“What I came to tell you is that I won’t change my mind, and that if you do change yours, I’m waiting for you, like I always have been,” Sakura finishes with a tense nod and a sniff. “So, that’s all and I – I’m going to go now.”

She spins around on her feet, her shoes clanking against the wooden surface of the snow-covered porch, and with hurried steps she ventures to the streets of Konoha, not giving Sasuke a chance to say anything in return.

Quite taken aback by her sudden declaration, Sasuke retreats inside and closes the door. He rests his back against it, closes his eyes, clasps a hand over them and blows his hair from his face.

Okay.

Now there is no way that things won’t be awkward and complicated and awful with Sakura after this. Sasuke had had hopes that they could just move on from this, never bringing up her confession again, and pretend that it never happened. Never in a million years thought Sasuke that she would be this bold. At least she has gained some confidence since their genin years. But really, what was Sasuke supposed to say to her – _thanks?_ Maybe he should have told her about Naruto, it would have been the fair thing to do, but she was so fast that Sasuke didn’t have time to say anything and he would have had no idea what to do if she had started crying again.

Sasuke sighs, presses his fingers against his forehead, and after a while of cursing his life, he drags himself towards the living room. Still quite sleepy and blurry-eyed, he misses the shoe that’s been left on the floor in the middle of the hallway, and almost loses his balance as he accidentally steps on the unfortunate shoe.

“Shit!” is what slips out of his mouth as he tries to keep himself upwards. His ankle twists under him, and he ends up hopping on one leg for a few seconds before he gets his balance back. Sasuke turns his head to glare over his shoulder at the offending shoe. It isn’t his.

He has complained to Naruto about him leaving his stuff lying around a million times already, and to no effect.

Sasuke scrunches up his nose and backpedals till he can kick the shoe off to the direction of the front door. He likes to keep his things in their own places, tidy and organised, but as he has found over the few weeks they have lived together, Naruto is not quite as pedantic about it.

When Sasuke finally gets to the living room without injuring himself any further, he is greeted by the charming sight of an orange hoodie hanging over the back of the couch, a half-full instant-ramen cup standing dangerously close to the edge the coffee table, and just a general mess spread around the room. Again. It’s not the first time this month, not even this week, and hasn’t Sasuke mentioned about this too already?

Sasuke’s still fuming at the remains of what used to be his peaceful and harmonious living room when Naruto walks in on the scene, rubbing his eyes, with his sleeping pants hanging so loosely on his hips that the hems pool on the floor and under his feet. When he notices Sasuke, Naruto practically flings himself at Sasuke.

“Hiiiii temeeeee! Good morning!” Naruto sings into Sasuke’s ear and wraps his arms around Sasuke’s chest. He is uncomfortably hot, his skin radiates warmth against Sasuke’s back, and Sasuke really wants to elbow Naruto to get him off him. He doesn’t appreciate people clinging onto him this early in the morning – he isn’t awake enough to tolerate people waltzing into his precious personal space.

Instead of beating Naruto up first thing in the morning, Sasuke hums as an answer, and it’s a rough, annoyed sound. “Didn’t I tell you to clean after yourself? Now the whole house smells like your ramen.”

“Oh, don’t stress about it. I’ll clean it, don’t worry,” Naruto laugh and doesn’t lose the sunny attitude for a second. He untangles himself from Sasuke and walks over to the coffee table to grab the cup and take his hoodie from the couch. “See?”

“Hn.”

“So, who was it at the door?” Naruto asks as he swings the hoodie over his shoulder and stretches his free hand over his head while balancing the ramen cup in the other. His t-shirt raises with the movement and reveals a patch of his tanned skin, but Sasuke doesn’t even blink at the sight, let alone stop to stare at it – instead he gives Naruto a displeased look for bringing up the tricky situation with their other teammate.

“Sakura.”

“Oh. What did she want? You haven’t seen her since the festival, haven’t you?”

“No. She’s been avoiding me up until today,” Sasuke admits and walks over to the couch, bending down to fish a sock from the deep abyss of the insides of the couch – another one of Naruto’s lost objects and sorry victims – and chucks it towards Naruto’s head. He’s refusing to touch the subject of the reason behind Sakura’s visit without further prompting.

Unfortunately for him, Naruto doesn’t let it go.

“Sooooo, why was she here? What did she say?” he asks, grinning at Sasuke as he catches the flying sock. “It was obviously something important, since you’re trying to keep your mouth shut about it.”

Sasuke casts his eyes upwards, sighing.

“She came to tell me that she’s not going to give up on me. Apparently, she believes I will somehow magically fall in love with her if she is just stubborn enough,” he says while giving a critical eye on the tidiness of the room. “It seems that you have competition.”

“Ouch. Should I be worried?” Naruto asks, laughing as he passes Sasuke on his way to the kitchen, his back already to Sasuke.

“I don’t know, maybe. I bet she wouldn’t make as much mess as you do,” Sasuke jokes and grins to himself as he lands on the couch. He’s reaching for the remote control of the TV when he realises that Naruto has gone dead silent.

Sasuke turns around to glance at Naruto, trying to see the other over the back of the couch. Naruto’s standing there, clutching the empty ramen cup, his eyes laid low.

“Naruto?”

“I’ll clean up my messes, okay. I get it,” Naruto says, his voice as tight and tense as his shoulders, his back still to Sasuke. “You don’t have to be mean about it.”

Sasuke scrambles up to lean over the backrest so he can see Naruto better.

“I didn’t mean – “

But he is too late, Naruto has walked away to the kitchen already, and Sasuke doesn’t have the will to get up and go after him. He slumps back down on the couch, crossing his arms over his chest with an irked huff, and lands his feet on the coffee table.

Sasuke didn’t mean to hurt Naruto, he was joking, for fuck’s sake. When does he ever joke? It should be appreciated when he tries to, not frowned upon. And now Naruto’s upset with him. Again. This isn’t the first time this has happened either – Sasuke says something sarcastic with a straight face and Naruto, his naïve, good-hearted Naruto, takes it the wrong way.

It really doesn’t help that there is a treacherous voice in the back of Sasuke’s head telling him that Kakashi would have understood it. He would have gone along with the joke – Kakashi would have turned around to smirk at Sasuke in that lazy, confident way of his and raised a silver eyebrow at him. There would have been that arrogant and mocking tone in his voice with a hint of laughter in there somewhere. He would have teased Sasuke back and said something about dumping Sasuke himself, saving him the effort and Sasuke could have retorted something equally snappy back at him, taking the joke even further. And Kakashi would have smiled at his answer, walked over to him, pressed Sasuke against the couch and the whole thing would have ended with them making out right there.

But instead of that, Sasuke has a messy, overly affectionate boyfriend who just got his feelings hurt over nothing.

Sasuke kicks the coffee table for a good measure, and that only results in his toes hurting and the remote-control hurling on the floor. Sasuke curses colourfully and buries his face into his hands. There he is, fantasising about kissing another man when he really should be apologising to his boyfriend. As if having Sakura being stubborn and Sai being just plain weird wasn’t enough.

 

o0o

 

_The 20th of March, the fifth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

The lake behind the Uchiha district is still frozen. It’s been unusually cold the whole month, heck, the entire winter, and as Sasuke walks by the lake, the sky above him is grey and cloudy. He wraps his scarf – which he stole from Naruto – tighter around his neck and watches the ice field in front of him.

Sasuke was in yet another Council meeting today, and it went as brilliantly as always. After spending hours fighting with the stubborn Elders and the squabbling clan heads, he needs a moment alone. His head is still aching from having to listen to such idiocy for so long, and going home to Naruto who is bound to be bubbly and clingy and loud doesn’t tempt him either.

He picks up a handful of pebbles from the side of the road, and with a quick flick of his wrist he sends one of them skipping over the ice.

There is the rustling sound of footsteps over the frosty grass, and when Sasuke glances away from the lake, he sees Tsunade striding towards him.

“You can be very hard to find sometimes, did you know that?” she grunts as she walks over to him, a just as tired look on her face as he has on his. She didn’t enjoy the meeting any more than Sasuke did.

“That’s usually the point of hiding,” Sasuke answers, comfortable enough with her that he returns to gazing over the frozen lake, letting the strong wind blow his hair over his face and make the skin on his cheeks sting.

“Not feeling like going home?” she asks, coming to stand next to him with her hands on her hips. She squints her eyes at the view. “Did you have more of those pebbles?”

Sasuke hands one to her without a question.

“Naruto’s there. He doesn’t have the patience for the Council stuff. I don’t have the patience to deal with him,” he admits, trying to relax his tense shoulders.

“Sometimes it is better to let out some steam before going home,” Tsunade agrees and Sasuke is glad to note that she is not judging him at all. As he turns his head to study her, Tsunade positions her feet, brings her hand backwards, and then with all the frightening strength of hers, throws the pebble so far that Sasuke can’t even see where it lands. It’s only a tiny flash of colour as it flies through the murky sky.

“Speaking from experience?” Sasuke asks and can’t quite keep the amusement out of his voice.

“If it wasn’t obvious, yes,” she laughs. The wind blows her hair over her face, and she brings up a hand to brush it from her face. By the time Sasuke looks at her again, her smile is gone. “As much I despise Danzou, there are times when I think that maybe he got something right and the Hokage having more power over the Council wouldn’t be that bad of an idea,” she huffs with a frown. “Cowards and idiots, the lot of them. I remember how hard it was to get them to agree to put a medic ninja in every team – they haven’t grown any brain cells since then.”

“Hn.”

“You know, Uchiha, I’m sorry to say this, but as much as I’m on your side on this, I very much doubt that they will allow the truth of the massacre come out. If just getting them to agree on building orphanages and pushing up the academy graduation age is this hard, tricking them into purposely damaging the reputation of the village is near impossible. We can compose as eloquent and detailed pleas and documents as we like, and they are just going to throw them out of the window anyway,” Tsunade sighs and meets his gaze with sad eyes.

“I know. I didn’t expect anything else,” Sasuke admits. “But it doesn’t mean that I won’t try.”

Tsunade manages a genuine smile at him and she brings a hand to rest on his shoulder.

“Good boy,” she hums under her breath. “Punch them in the face for me.”

Sasuke doesn’t swat her hand away – instead he turns back to study the view over the lake, watching the old dock that is still there – he remembers spending hours sitting on the sorry thing after the massacre, missing his family, and jumping off it into the deep waters countless times.

“The Council – the Elders see the shinobis of the village as tools. They refuse to see that behind every forehead protector there is a human, a person. It doesn’t matter what happens to them, they are just numbers, as long as the village thrives. It doesn’t matter that they send out children to dangerous missions or that the academy enrolment age keeps getting younger and younger. Why take care of orphans when they can send them to be cannon fodder as soon as they are old enough to function on their own,” Sasuke rants and grimaces at the whole thought. “The clan heads, I think, do understand this, but they are too busy fighting each other over petty little things to make any difference. It’s the Elders that are the problem.”

“Oh, I know. I know that far too well,” Tsunade sighs and lets her shoulders slump. But it doesn’t take long before she flashes him a mischievous smile. “They are old enough to die any time now – who knows, maybe tomorrow’s our lucky day.”

Sasuke grins at her and stuff his hands into his pockets.

“Let’s hope so.”

“It’s time for the new generation to take the reins,” Tsunade announces, looking far away over the lake and when she says it, it’s seems like she has come to a decision of some kind. There is a certain longing but determined look in her brown eyes. Then she turns towards him again, furrowing her brows. “But didn’t you guys have plan for changing the system together? I have some weird memories about Naruto gossiping about something like that when you were still in prison.”

Sasuke wouldn’t really like to talk about the dysfunctional dynamics of Team 7.

“We haven’t had time for that – I was too busy getting back in touch with my life here, and the bunch of us were just glad to be alive, to be honest. Okay, yes, this whole Council thing was a continuation of that plan, but we didn’t think further than that. Now Kakashi’s away and Sakura won’t probably talk to me since I told her I didn’t reciprocate her feelings. So as far as the plan of changing the system goes, we’re at a standstill right now.”

“She’s still hung up on you?” Tsunade asks, raising an eyebrow at him, and for a change she sounds genuinely confused.

“Apparently.”

“What does she even see in you?”

Sasuke rolls his eyes at her.

“You tell me, I don’t get it either.”

Tsunade snorts at his answer and shakes her head right after.

“Give her time. Her heart is broken, but she’ll get over it.”

“Are you sure?” is what Sasuke hears himself asking, even though he didn’t mean to. It’s quite scarring to realise how much he has come to trust Tsunade – enough that he would implicitly admit that he is scared of losing his friend and that he just needs somebody to tell him it’s going to be alright.

Tsunade doesn’t give him the answer he hoped for.

“I hope she will,” she admits after a pause, turning to look at Sasuke with an apologetic look on her face.

Hearing that even Tsunade isn’t certain about whether Sakura can look him in the eye ever again feels numbing. What is Sasuke supposed to do? He misses his friend, but that isn’t what Sakura wants to be to him.

He shivers under his coat and brushes his hair from his eyes.

“Has there been any word from Kakashi and his team? Have they heard anything about Danzou?” Sasuke asks, not looking at Tsunade.

“Oh, I have been meaning to let you know. As it happens, a message bird came two days ago.”

Now Sasuke spins his head around to look at her again, a bit too fast for it to look casual, but Sasuke doesn’t care because he is too busy trying to analyse Tsunade’s expression for any clue of what was in that message.

Sasuke doesn’t know what Tsunade sees on his face because suddenly she is hurrying to reassure him.

“They are all alright. Nothing has happened to them – their mission is proceeding as planned,” she says with a wave of her hand. “At this rate, they should be returning in about a month.”

A month. That’s all Sasuke can hear, that’s what his heart is beating, repeating the rhythm of the words over and over again. A month, a month, a month.

“No sign of Danzou though. No rumours, no sightings, nothing. I don’t have the faintest idea where he is hiding,” Tsunade scoffs and crosses her arms over her chest. “Not that I necessarily want to see his face ever again, but it’s nerve-racking not to know where he is plotting my demise.” She glances at Sasuke. “You don’t happen to have any ideas where he might be?”

“No. I tried to ask Sai if he knew anything, since he used to be part of the ROOT and all, but he was a dead-end,” Sasuke answers, his words slow as he tries to focus on what Tsunade said. It’s hard to accomplish when a part of him wants to get angry at the memory of Sai of having the audacity to say it to Sasuke’s face that he doesn’t think that Sasuke is good enough for Team 7.

A slightly bigger part of him is stuck on the fact that his heart hasn’t still quite calmed down, and the realisation of what it that implies terrifies him even more.

“That’s a shame,” Tsunade sighs. It seems that she has got enough of standing and staring at the unmoving frozen lake – she starts walking back towards the path that leads to the centre of the village, and Sasuke opts to jog after her.

“You have been to your check-ups, haven’t you?” Tsunade asks and throws a quick look over her shoulder at Sasuke.

“Yeah,” he answers while struggling to stay upright – the road under him is covered in black ice and it’s slippery under his feet as he tries to catch up to the Hokage. “The nurse said that I’m fine.”

“Do you feel fine?”

“There haven’t been any mishaps since the chuunin exams, so I think I do.”

She gives him one of her rare, honest smiles.

“I guess we can now agree that it was caused by the after effects of the seal.”

Sasuke would really like to be happy about this announcement and let the matter be, but he knows he can’t let it rest before he knows for sure that everything is alright.

“Could a jutsu have caused it instead of the seal?” he asks with a cold, heavy feeling of dread in his stomach.

“In theory, yes. Why do you ask?”

“I probably should have mentioned this earlier, but we weren’t exactly in very good terms when this was more relevant,” Sasuke begins, staring down at his own feet as he speaks, his chin against his chest. “When Danzou had me imprisoned in his underground laboratory, one of his men cast a jutsu on me. I blacked out, but there were seemingly no other consequences. I have been wondering if that jutsu might have had anything to do with my chakra not working.”

“I don’t think it’s that,” Tsunade answers immediately and a weight lifts off Sasuke’s shoulders, because there is not even a hint of hesitation in her voice. “I have never heard of a jutsu that would take that long before starting to have an effect. What would be the point? I could understand your problem being caused by a jutsu if the attacker in the chuunin exams had done something to you, but not if we are talking about things that happened all the way in August,” she explains, her cape flowing around in the cold breeze.

Sasuke straightens himself back up and rolls his shoulders back while Tsunade hasn’t even finished yet.

“And really, if we assume it was really that jutsu you told me about and the only symptom so far is your chakra not working for a few seconds that one time, I don’t think it’s that impressive of a technique. Most probably that henchman of Danzou’s tried to block all of your chakra, but messed up the jutsu completely, and your little episode can be simply explained with the after effects of the seal.” She takes a long look at him. “Please tell me you haven’t wallowed in this all by yourself – you have to talk about these things with somebody, especially now that you have to stress about the Council too.”

“I did tell Kakashi,” Sasuke mutters. “He said that I should ask you about it.”

Tsunade hums, apparently pleased with his answer. They walk in silence for a while, the Fifth probably lost thinking about her Hokage duties and shifts in the hospital, while Sasuke finally lets himself breathe. If the best medic in all the Shinobi Countries thinks that there is nothing to worry about, maybe he can relax and stop bothering himself with the thought of something being wrong with him. Though there haven’t been any mishaps since September, the horrible, paralyzing fear has raised its head every now and then during the wee hours of the night, and Sasuke hasn’t enjoyed that at all.

They are getting closer to the edge of the Uchiha district – the view has already changed from the serene lake to the abandoned houses of Sasuke’s clan. The cool breeze doesn’t blow into the maze of the buildings, so it’s not as cold as it was on the shore of the lake, but the haunted atmosphere of the district makes up for the lack of the wind.

“You know, now that I mentioned that ROOT member,” Sasuke starts, “Sai told me something about him. He said that this guy – his codename is Tiger – would have become the leader of Danzou’s personal guard if things had gone differently.”

“And this was the guy that cast the jutsu on you? Danzou has really lowered his standards if it was this Tiger that blew up his jutsu,” Tsunade chuckles. “It would have been straight-up dishonouring the previous leaders if that idiot had been given the position.”

“What’s the deal with the guard then?”

“The personal guard of a Kage consists usually of five or six ANBU members chosen from the most experienced and skilled shinobis of the village forces,” Tsunade tells Sasuke and it sounds like she is quoting a manual of some kind. “They are tasked with keeping the Kage safe at all times and with all costs. Naturally, being the leader of this guard is the greatest acknowledgement of one’s skill and loyalty a shinobi can get. So, it’s a crime to even think about letting one of Danzou’s lackeys get the title.”

Sasuke furrows his brows.

“Sai said that the Tiger would have become the leader, but don’t you have your guard already? Does that mean that every Kage has their own guard?”

“Yes. Every new Kage picks the members themselves before their inauguration, but traditionally the Village Council has approved of the Kage’s choices too. They don’t want the people responsible of the Kage’s life to be chosen by only one person,” Tsunade explains. “Old-fashioned, yes, but so far it has worked.”

“Danzou wouldn’t have had any problems with the Council since he had them eating out of his hand already. Considering that he would have bothered with such traditions to begin with. But it means something that Danzou would have picked Tiger – he values him. Is that how you chose your team, did you know them beforehand?” Sasuke asks, actually interested. It seems that there are still many things that he doesn’t know about the village he was born in.

“Well, I had been gone from the village for a long time when I become Hokage, so I didn’t really know any of the ANBU members at that time. I just chose the ones that were the most competent. But I know some Hokages have chosen members because of more emotional reasons. Minato was planning to make Kakashi the next leader as soon as Kakashi was old enough – his first leader was getting too old for the job and needed to be replaced.”

Sasuke doesn’t know what to think of that. He knew that the Fourth had been Kakashi’s jounin sensei, but the fact that Kakashi would have got the honour of becoming the leader of the Hokage’s guard is still news to Sasuke. Kakashi would have still been very young for such a position if Minato had really been planning the promotion – Kakashi had turned only fourteen before the Fourth died in the Kyuubi’s attack.

They arrive to the crossroads where Sasuke should turn right to head home. He knows that Naruto’s waiting for him with all the excitement and liveliness that is so typical for the Uzumaki, and Sasuke cringes at the thought, because Tsunade’s given him a lot of think about – a lot to think about in peace and quiet.

Tsunade stops to flash him another quick smile.

“We should go down with our ship and finish this plea – we could get it finished before summer if we are fast about it. My grandfather and Madara founded this village together, even though their clans never really trusted one another since their days. I’m a Senju, and I think it’s time that the Senjus and the Uchihas finally worked together. Let’s try to bring your clan justice,” she winks at him. “I’ll arrange some time later this week, we can use my office and talk about this.”

Sasuke nods at her, somehow still surprised about how far the two of them have come. She is his ally, if not a friend.

He waves his goodbyes to Tsunade as she walks off towards the village, and when she disappears from his view, Sasuke heads home. He doesn’t have to weather the cold wind for long, and even if he did, the newly-found spark of hope warms him better than the thought of home.

_A month_.


	18. Solar Eclipse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter became much darker than I planned. Also, Sasuke is an idiot.

 

_The 29th of March, the fifth year of peace  
Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

Night is already well on its way in the Uchiha district when Sasuke finally heads home. He is returning from a B-rank – a solo escort mission so average and unforgettable that he feels like he dozed off through most of the journey to the small civilian town and the way back. Back here in Konoha, the sun has already set, dusk has fallen, and the village centre behind Sasuke’s back has already settled down for the night. Just like the village, the Hokage Tower has gone quiet – Sasuke knows that since he missed the paperwork for the mission today, he has a report to give first thing in the morning tomorrow.

He tied his forehead protector a little bit too tight today, and the collar of his jounin vest scratches the skin at his neck – all in all, it’s been a long, trying day, and right now it feels ridiculous that he lives so far from the main square and has to walk all this way to get to his house. Sasuke just wants to go home, have a long shower, curl up on the couch with a good book and read in silence. In the same second he notes that Naruto has probably already come home from his own mission with his genin team. He pinches the bridge of his nose at the thought. So much for peace and relaxation then.

Sasuke sighs and looks up at the sky. Even though it’s so late, there are no stars to be seen yet. The main part of the village is still lit at this hour, there is really not a moment when Konoha would be truly covered in darkness, and all the light pollution keeps the stars from being seen even though the Uchiha district itself is pitch black. It’s new moon too, so the night is truly dark.

He has been spending more and more time at Tsunade’s office lately, building up evidence and struggling with the complex language of official documents as the Hokage and he work on their plea. Going through the files about the massacre over and over again only manages to depress him, and trying to come up with ways to counter all the possible loopholes the Elders might bring up makes his head hurt and Tsunade rummage through her table drawers for anything with alcohol in it. So, it was nice to get out of the village for a change, even though the mission itself was nothing to brag about.

A breeze of breath air, that’s what being outside the village walls literally was. Sasuke has been on occasional missions ever since he got his Leaf ninja status back last summer, but recently he has started to appreciate these missions outside Konoha much more. They remind him of his journeys during his time under Orochimaru’s tutelage – the days spent all over the Great Shinobi Countries and far beyond. Years ago, Sasuke had sometimes pretended that he had been travelling the world for himself, with nothing holding him back. That he was free to go wherever he wished, never looking back, and that the weight of being the last Uchiha had been lifted off his shoulders.

Nowadays Sasuke wonders if it’s because he has no peace and quiet in his own home that he enjoys his missions outside Konoha so much.

His light steps barely make a sound on the street as he walks towards home. The late snow finally melted during last week and in its place are now wet mud and murky puddles everywhere. At last, spring is about to be here – Sasuke has heard the birds sing in the mornings again. The familiar sound has made him think of his own songbirds, and consequently, thinking of chidori has made his mind wander to the only other shinobi in the world who can make his chakra sing.

It’s been only about a week since Tsunade told him that Kakashi would be coming back in a month. At first there were nothing but the surge of his heartbeat speeding up, drumming in his ears, and the all-consuming thought of getting to see the man again. Then, when Sasuke had got home that night and had had Naruto come and tangle himself all around him, Sasuke had realised that the whole situation was far more complicated than just walking up to Kakashi and yanking his mask down to get to kiss him.

Sasuke has no idea what to say to Kakashi when he sees him. Are they going to acknowledge the fact that Sasuke had wanted to kiss him back there at the arena? And the fact that for a while it has seemed like Kakashi had wanted to kiss him too – before he had retreated back and pretended that it was nothing. What if the same exact thing that happened with Sakura now happens with them? What if all they had is gone, what if they can never go back to that comfortable, blurry-lined friendship they had? All those bare-faced smiles given to him, solely to him, all those times Sasuke could just go and pour his heart out to Kakashi and know that everything he said would stay between them. Sasuke has no idea what he’ll do if all that is lost to him because he couldn’t control his feelings – and he has been so proud of his skill of hiding his emotions up until now. What a way to fuck that up.

And Sasuke really should stop ignoring the fact that he has a boyfriend. A boyfriend who is not the man pressing him against the mattress in the dreams he refuses to admit he has. Seriously, why does he keep forgetting Naruto so easily?

Sasuke sneers at the thought of having Kakashi find out about his relationship with Naruto. Last time they saw each other Sasuke was clearly after Kakashi, so what will Kakashi think now that Sasuke is suddenly with someone else? Maybe it’s going to make Kakashi jealous and – who is he kidding, Kakashi doesn’t do jealous. He would probably tell Sasuke and Naruto that he is happy for them with that lazy smile of his, disappear behind one of his books soon after and only manage to make Sasuke feel childish about even thinking of trying to make him jealous.

All in all, it’s not fair to Naruto.

Frustrated, Sasuke hunches his shoulders and stuff his hands into his pocket. He has to purposely relax his clenched jaw to stop his teeth from grinding together – he knows that it will only make his headache worse. Angry at the whole world and mostly himself, Sasuke kicks a stone into flying all the way to the other side of the street. That at least is very childish, but at this moment he doesn’t particularly care.

A flash of white catches his eye somewhere on his right. It’s only a shadow of a movement, barely even there, and when Sasuke stops and turns to look at the direction he though he saw something, he is quite sure that he was imagining the whole thing. There is nothing hiding in the shadows of the buildings as far as he can see – Sasuke has only a row of old, empty houses staring back at him, though it’s so dark in the district that he probably wouldn’t see anything if there was something to be noticed.

Sasuke scoffs at himself – getting himself all worked up over nothing. It’s probably a stray cat or something of that sort. With a roll of his eyes he lets the matter the go and starts heading towards home again.

But he doesn’t have the time to take more than a few steps before there’s something moving in the corner of his eye again.

This time on his left.

Instead of spinning around to stare at the shadows and giving himself away, Sasuke keeps walking with his head down, his hands still in his pockets and his shoulders slumped. But now he lets his sharingan spin into his eyes behind the cover of his bangs. Just a tiny tilt of his head to the left and then he can see exactly where that movement came from.

There is a faint chakra signature hiding in the alleyway between a decaying shop and an old-fashioned two-story house. It’s obvious that whoever is there is masking their chakra, because it’s really not the chakra pathways Sasuke’s sharingan picks up but a general disturbance in the otherwise solid darkness of the shadows. But it doesn’t matter that he can’t see what it is, there is still something there.

Instantly, Sasuke remembers Tsunade complaining about a possibility of a spy lurking in the village. Danzou’s spy, that’s what Sai said to Sasuke before proceeding to accuse him of betraying the village again. The thought of one of the councillor’s men being in Konoha makes Sasuke want to grab his sword – last time there was an intruder on the village grounds, they were after Sasuke’s life – but since Sasuke is pretending to be unaware of his stalker, randomly clutching his weapons on his way home is just a sure way to blow his cover.

Guess that Sai wasn’t wrong after all – there is spy hiding in the Uchiha district, at least at this precise moment.

The alarming notion is that somebody truly got inside the village walls and has stayed hidden this long. Or as Sai said, can they be sure it’s not one of the citizens already in Konoha, pretending to be Tsunade’s supporter after Danzou’s coup?

Sasuke keeps moving towards the direction of his house, outwardly just as casual as he was a minute ago, but behind the pretence of normality his thoughts are whirling. How far is he from home, is Naruto there yet, can he hear him if Sasuke calls for help?

He passes by another house, and even though Sasuke can’t hear anything that would indicate that somebody is following him, his sharingan shows him the undeniable blurry chakra concentration that keeps tailing him. The chakra mass takes the same turns as he does, and it freezes in its place when Sasuke stops and makes a show of studying the dark sky.

It’s no coincidence – there is someone after him.

Sasuke takes a few more steps to fool his stalker while curling his fingers around the kunai in his pocket. He waits till he has a clear line towards the spy, then he swirls the kunai in his hand, getting a better grip on the handle, and is readying himself to pivot around on his feet to chuck the weapon at his stalker when there’s a loud voice calling his name.

“Sasuke!” Naruto greets him as he emerges from the shadows of the building next to him. The tails of his forehead protector swing by the motion as he jogs up to Sasuke.

Sasuke relaxes his posture and raises his hand free hand into a small wave while still clutching the kunai in the other, resting it against his thigh behind his back to keep it hidden from Naruto – he doesn’t need Naruto loudly asking why he is handling a kunai when everything is seemingly alright.

He bites his lip in frustration when he glances at the direction where he last saw the spy and there is nothing there anymore. The intruder is gone, driven away by Naruto, and Sasuke has lost his chance to capture the shinobi for now.

Sasuke blinks his sharingan away before Naruto can see it, he doesn’t want to answer any uncomfortable questions that are bound to come if his boyfriend catches a sight of his red eyes.

“I have missed you!” Naruto squeals and throws himself at Sasuke, wrapping his arms around him. They have been apart for two days – Naruto took his genins on a real C-rank for a change – but Sasuke doesn’t deem it an important enough reason to have a sweaty, hasn’t-showered-for-two-days-Naruto all over him.

“Hn,” is the most civilized answer he manages to produce and then he is unceremoniously untangling himself from Naruto. He doesn’t need the hindrance of his boyfriend hanging from his arm if the spy suddenly decides to come back.

For one short second a look of hurt passes over Naruto’s face, and then he is back to his bubbly self.

“Let’s go home,” he smiles, taking Sasuke’s hand and tugging him forward. Sasuke doesn’t fight back, but he spares one final glance at the dark ally, wondering if the spy is still there, listening to them.

The rest of the way back home is uneventful, and soon the boys find themselves fighting over the privilege of getting to shower first, which is a normal, everyday occurrence for them. When Naruto whines something about having to had watch over three teenagers nonstop for the last two days, Sasuke doesn’t bother to come up with something witty to say to that.

Sasuke wanders to the kitchen, removing his forehead protector and leaving his jounin vest on the back of one of the chairs. He pushes his sleeves up to his elbows, walks over to the counter next to the window and leans his hip against it. He brushes his hair from his eyes and wonders if he should have fought over that right to use the shower first after all, because he just feels disgusting with all the dust in his hair.

He should let Tsunade know about the spy tailing him tomorrow. As far as he knows, the only hints they have had of somebody being in the village were the signs of someone breaking into the Hokage’s office, but now Konoha has a witness who actually saw the spy. Well, more or less. Sasuke can’t exactly recognise the intruder, since he didn’t really see him and there was so little of their chakra to be sensed that the chakra signature can’t be identified either, but now he knows that the spy is there. Because who else would it be but the spy? Though the villagers might still be wary of him because of his Uchiha heritage and status as an ex-missing nin, it doesn’t give them a reason to shadow him in the middle of the night in his own district. So, a spy sent by Danzou being after him would make the most sense.

Sai is angry at him too, but would the man resort to this just to scare Sasuke?

There is the sound of Naruto getting out of the bathroom and shouting something at Sasuke about it being his turn now. Leaving his thoughts, Sasuke heads towards his long-awaited shower. He gets out of his clothes and steps into the shower, letting the water pour over his head and back as he leans his hand against the tile wall.

Sasuke knows that he should break it off with Naruto.

There last few months have been a bumpy ride. While they might have started slowly and on the basis of a strong friendship, it hasn’t been exactly pleasant after the first few weeks. They are just so profoundly different – Naruto is his opposite, intense and vibrant and affectionate young man who demands attention wherever he goes. And whereas Naruto wants constant acknowledgement and human contact, Sasuke needs his silence to keep himself together. Sasuke can handle all Naruto’s energy in small doses, but being around him all day long makes him explode. Even the small things set off arguments between them – Naruto doesn’t get Sasuke’s dry humour, and Sasuke can’t stand Naruto’s way of conquering someone’s life – he doesn’t understand how his house can be so full of ramen cups and orange things.

Naruto is a loud and lively ball of sunshine with so many friends he has lost count of them. Sasuke is a loner, a creature of darkness and a lover of peace and quiet.

Opposites attract, true, but do they live happily ever after?

The emotional part is there and Sasuke knows he cares about Naruto. He has very few people to love these days and the Uzumaki is certainly one of them, but the point is that Sasuke isn't really _in love_ with him. And when he isn't exactly head over heels with Naruto, he notices how their everyday life is just a tiring battle that drains all the life out of him.

It doesn’t help that Sasuke got into the relationship because of all the wrong reasons.

Sasuke takes a deep sigh, resting his head against the cool wall for a while. He knows that the right thing to do would be to tell Naruto that they can’t be together – especially because there is still another man Sasuke can’t get out of his head. Because over the last few weeks it has come increasingly clear that each and every time Sasuke lets Naruto kiss him, a part of him buried deeply inside him wishes that it was someone else.

With his mind made up and heart heavy, Sasuke steps out of the shower and wraps a towel around himself after drying up. His wet feet are slippery underneath him as he heads to the bedroom to get some clothes. To his surprise, he finds Naruto sitting on the bed.

Naruto looks up at Sasuke at the sound of his bare feet on the hardwood floor, and there is the most desperate expression Sasuke has ever seen on his face. It stops Sasuke in his tracks – and suddenly it’s clear to him that Naruto has come to the same conclusion as him. There is no other reason for Naruto to look at him like that.

But whereas Sasuke has already given up on them, Naruto is still determined to try.

He stands up from the bed, not really any more clothed in his boxers than Sasuke who is only wearing the towel, and walks up to Sasuke. There’s a certain determination in his pleading eyes as he brings up a hand to Sasuke’s cheek. He doesn’t sound like himself at all when he speaks.

“Do you think we could do it tonight?” he asks, somehow both avoiding Sasuke’s gaze and still trying to study his face for any reaction.

Sasuke doesn’t have to guess what Naruto is talking about. Even though they have been together for a few months now, they still haven’t had sex yet. They wanted to take it slowly, and it never felt like it was the right time. Sasuke sees what the suggestion is – a desperate attempt to somehow prove that despite their problems, they could work. He feels it in Naruto’s voice that is deeper and shakier than it usually is, and in the way Naruto’s hand moves from his cheek over his neck and collarbones towards his stomach and the loosely wrapped towel.

Sasuke knows that sleeping together won’t solve any problems they have, it most likely just creates more of them, but when Naruto yanks him towards himself to kiss him with more need than ever before, Sasuke doesn’t stop him. When Naruto pushes him on the bed and climbs over him, Sasuke still doesn’t stop him. And when there is a hot mouth kissing him again, Sasuke goes along with it.

Maybe he needs to do this to feel certain about his decision.

Because in the middle of all it, lying under Naruto, Sasuke comes face to face with the truth that he has known for a long time now – it's not Naruto he wants to be there looming over him and mapping his skin with agile fingers. Sasuke wants the colour of the hair he grips to be lighter and the voice whispering against his neck to be deeper. He wants breathless chuckling and raised eyebrows, not this desperation and a sense of finality. And when he finally comes, he has to bite his lip to prevent himself from moaning a name that does not belong to the man he is with.

Sasuke realises that he can’t do this anymore.

 

o0o

 

The next morning Sasuke pretends to be still asleep sleep when Naruto wakes up. He waits until Naruto disappears from the room on his hunt for breakfast before letting out a deep sigh. Sasuke opens his eyes with a grunt and wonders if suffocating himself with a pillow would be easier than breaking up with his boyfriend-best friend. Why can’t he just skip straight to the part where is single again? Why does he have to break Naruto’s heart first?

He can hear Naruto stumbling around the kitchen, crackling pans and plates, and then there are the colourful curses as the young man accidentally stabs his toe to a table leg.

The pillow is starting to look more and more tempting every second.

Sasuke growls to himself and buries his face into the pillow. Fuck it, he is an Uchiha – although sometimes he thinks he is not very good at being one – and so he is going to tackle this problem with his head held high.

Maybe.

With another sigh Sasuke gets up from the bed. After getting dressed, he glances at the small mirror on the wall. His rumpled image stares back at him with the worst bed hair he has had for a while and an ugly bruise peeking from under his shirt collar. He straightens his shirt to cover the hickey and marches to the kitchen.

”Naruto,” he calls for his soon to be ex-boyfriend as he walks into the room. He finds Naruto sitting at the table, fidgeting nervously with his hands. Naruto raises his head to look at him just as Sasuke sits down on the chair opposite him. When Sasuke meets the blue eyes, he realises how cruel it is to end this now, on this particular morning. But he loves his best friend too much to let this go on when they are only hurting each other.

”I – ” Sasuke starts and blinks at Naruto. He really doesn't know how to say this in any other way. He has never been as good with words as he would like to be. ”This isn't working.”

Naruto is unusually quiet as he waits for Sasuke to continue.

”We would be better off as just friends.”

Naruto leans on his elbows and buries his face into his hands.

”This is about last night, isn't it? Was I that bad?”

”No,” Sasuke hurries to answer. ”This isn't about you,” he says and cringes at the walking cliché he has become. A part of him knows that he is lying, because truthfully, he is comparing Naruto to someone else and his best friend is losing that battle. “But we both know that this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.”

Sasuke continues listing the reasons for a while, trying to fill up the awkward silence with words, even though he is sure that Naruto must have come to these same conclusions too on his own.

Naruto listens to him with empty eyes, nods reluctantly when Sasuke finishes, and stands up from the table. He doesn’t look at Sasuke when he escapes the room to go fetch his things. Sasuke isn’t sure if he saw Naruto’s shoulders shaking.

”You don't need to hurry with those,” he calls after Naruto who either doesn't hear him or isn't bothered to answer. Sasuke feels hollow even though he knows this is the right thing to do.

Soon Naruto comes back, fully dressed and a bag full of his things stuffed under his arm.

”I'll come to pick up the rest later,” he says quietly, still not looking at him, and Sasuke wants to shake him because his best friend isn't like this.

Sasuke walks him to the door, not really knowing what to do with himself. He leans against the wall with his hands crossed over his chest as Naruto puts his shoes on.

”I'll always be your best friend, you know that, right?” Sasuke says with uncharacteristic amount of worry in his voice. ”This won't change that.”

”Yeah, I know,” Naruto sighs back at him and musters a weak smile. ”I just need time.” And with that Naruto flees the house and leaves Sasuke with a horrible feeling of loss.

What is it in him that makes him fuck up the few relationships he has?

 

o0o

  

_The 10th of April, the fifth year of peace  
Konoha, the Land of Fire_

Sasuke is out on the market, balancing two paper bags full of groceries on his arm, when he sees them.

Or actually, he hears them first.

He is studying the fruit vendor’s stall when he hears the bright sound of Sakura’s laughter. Sasuke stops what he is doing, turning slowly on his feet to glance at the direction where the sound came from just as Naruto’s voice joins Sakura’s. With a nervous feeling simmering in the pit of his stomach, Sasuke scans the vast crowd enjoying the warm spring day on the market and tries to locate his teammates.

He spots Naruto first, as his usual orange getup is hard to miss. Naruto is laughing so hard that he is clutching his stomach, bent over himself, and Sasuke guesses it’s that kind of uncontrollable laugher that brings tears to your eyes. Sakura is standing next to him, a good couple of dozen meters from Sasuke, leaning against Naruto because she is giggling and quite not managing to keep herself upright all by herself.

Furrowing his brows, Sasuke tries to see what is so funny. A group that was standing in the way of his line of vision moves and reveals that it is Sai who is with Sasuke’s teammates, one of his artificial smiles on his face. Naruto quips something back at Sai, and Sakura, while trying not to die from howling, claps a hand on Sai’s shoulder. It is Sai who has said something amusing.

Sasuke’s first instinct is to march up there and drag his teammates away from Sai, because it’s apparent that Naruto and Sakura have no idea how big of an asshole the young man is. Sai still thinks that Sasuke is back in Konoha because of a ploy or something, plotting the destruction of the village behind everyone’s back. Seriously, have Sasuke’s friends truly no idea what Sai thinks of Sasuke?

Then the depressing thought hits him. Sakura or Naruto do not want Sasuke rushing into the scene to rage at Sai – they do not want Sasuke anywhere near them at all. Sakura is adamant that she can’t be his friend, _just_ his friend, still somehow blinded by her idea of loving him, and Sasuke’s breakup with Naruto is still so new and raw that Naruto won’t probably want even to look him in the eye.

Sasuke guesses that the chances are that Naruto has gone to cry on Sakura’s shoulder about their breakup, since his best friend and his usual shoulder to cry on is the reason of his heartbreak. Sasuke doesn’t want to even imagine how that conversation must have gone. But at least now it doesn’t seem like Sakura is mad at Naruto for dating him – far from it, judging by the way they are steadying each other.

Sai says something else that sends both Naruto and Sakura into a new laughing fit, and now Sasuke’s teammates are leaning heavily on each other, breathless and red in the face. Sakura throws a muscled arm around Sai’s shoulders and drags him into their group hug while Naruto leans over to ruffle Sai’s short black hair.

Sasuke stands there and watches as his replacement literally steals his place in Team 7. It should be him there between Naruto and Sakura, snapping dry comments and swatting away the overly familiar hands from his hair, not Sai. Naruto and Sakura were his first.

And he left them.

And now he has driven them away again.

Then Sasuke realises that it is not anger that he feels, but an utter, bone-deep, exhausting feeling of sadness. He has lost them again. He should never have let Naruto kiss him that first time when he already knew full well that it was not Naruto he wanted. And he should have done something differently with Sakura, should have been clearer with her from the very start, stopped her from building up her fantasies. Now he has lost both of his friends because they fell in love with him and he couldn’t love them back.

Sasuke can’t help but think that everything was fine up until the point that romantic feelings entered the picture.

And in that precise moment, as he stands there, clutching the bags to his chest, and watches his friends saunter away with Sai, Sasuke realises that he can’t ever start a relationship with Kakashi. Sasuke can’t lose him too, not like this. He has to forget about his feelings, bury them deep and never even think of them again. Even if Kakashi had suddenly came around, even if he came back this exact second and asked Sasuke to be with him, Sasuke couldn’t do it. He can’t risk it – he has lost too many friends because of romantic feelings, and Kakashi is the only one Sasuke has left.

The depressing thing is that Sasuke isn’t entirely sure about that either – it might be that when Kakashi comes back, he joins the rest of Team 7 in avoiding him and having awkward, forced conversations when they accidentally cross paths.

Be that as it may, whatever Sasuke might have felt for the man has to be left behind. The rush of his heartbeat at the thought of Kakashi coming back, the weakening of knees at the sound of his voice, the unexplainable urge to get closer whenever they are together, all of that Sasuke has to forget.

He can’t sacrifice his friendship, the one steady, calm, understanding relationship he has left for the sake of his ridiculous feelings.

Sasuke just wishes that it didn’t hurt so much.


	19. Ray of Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have stared at this chapter for so many hours that I don't know if I even like it anymore. Oh well, I hope you guys do.
> 
> Warnings: mention of suicide

 

_The 24th of April, the fifth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

Sasuke is avoiding his house again.

Konoha buzzes with energy that afternoon – the day is beautiful and warm like it was summer already, and the pleasant weather has brought the villagers out on the streets. Sasuke is aimlessly wandering among them, bored, his jounin gear left at home. Tsunade refused to give him a mission today and Sasuke doesn’t know what to do with himself. Being alone in the Uchiha district with his thoughts as his only company is driving him crazy, and Sasuke is happy to take every opportunity he can to stay away from there. So far that has meant missions after missions, but today that is not an option.

Ever since his breakup with Naruto, Sasuke has got himself assigned on more and more missions to get out of the village – C- and B-ranks along with some rare A-ranks, hell, he will even agree to take D-ranks with some snotty-nosed genins if it just means that he can get out of this place. Away from his too large and lonely house and away from seeing his friends moving on with their lives without him. The more challenging and demanding missions, the better. They keep his mind off the fact that his teammates want nothing to do with him anymore and are happy to replace him with someone else.

And if Sasuke isn’t on a mission for some reason, he is working on the plea. He refines and polishes the document, his official request to have the truth about his clan finally brought to light and for the village to take responsibility of the extinction of one of its clans. He spends hour on the proposal, either rewriting it or skimming through the files of earlier cases, studying the law system of Konoha or staring at his brother’s file with empty eyes, unmoving as he lets himself get lost in his memories.

Sasuke would have kept doing all of that if Tsunade hadn’t found out about it – if she hadn’t walked in on him in the archives last night during the wee hours of the night. She had been pleasantly drunk and unsteady on her feet, but enough in her right mind that she had torn the file from his hands, hidden it behind her back and told him to go home to sleep and forget about any missions for a few days. Sasuke had hissed and cursed at her for a while, his eyes red and dry from reading so much, with dark circles underneath them. He hadn’t been exactly convincing – his voice had been so raspy he had barely understood himself. Without a blink Tsunade had informed him that he was obsessed and unceremoniously kicked him out of the Hokage Tower.

Now, after sleeping around the clock – to his sheer embarrassment he slept well past noon – Sasuke’s finally out on the village, rubbing last remains of sleep from his eyes. Tsunade had told him to go to talk somebody, a friend and preferably not herself. Sasuke had retorted, his voice shaking only lightly on the words, that she seemed to be his only friend at the moment, so she would either have to deal with him or leave him in peace with his research. At that, she had smirked at him knowingly, though Sasuke’s sleep-deprived brain hadn’t understood why, and ordered him to get his ass out to the village the next day.

So here Sasuke is, dragging himself through the streets of Konoha, when he sees him.

There, on the other side of the street, is Kakashi leaning against a wall, listening to Gai who is explaining something to him. Gai is excited, he is waving his hands as he speaks, wide grins flashing on his face every now and then, while Kakashi seems to be content with just nodding at his friend occasionally, his hands tucked in his pocket, the usual calm expression on his face.

After over six months, Kakashi is finally back.

Sasuke isn’t entirely sure whether his heart is trying to skip a beat or stop working entirely. An uncomfortable shiver of anticipation runs through his body, leaving his legs unsteady and his hands sweaty and cold. Months and months of waiting and now Kakashi is here and Sasuke can’t quite stop the sudden rush of his heartbeat.

Then a heavy feeling of dread falls over him – this was the one thing Sasuke decided he would not let happen. All of this, all these feelings should have been buried. He shouldn’t be feeling so lightheaded just because he is looking at Kakashi, no, he should be thinking about all the ways to try to salvage what is left of their friendship.

And so, as Sasuke watches Kakashi talking with Gai, with the jounin’s back in that relaxed, lazy slump of his and his light hair fanning over his eyes, Sasuke realises that he still doesn’t know how they are going to move past the catastrophe that was the almost-kiss at the arena.

A rare panic hits Sasuke. He is not ready to deal with this, not when he found out that Kakashi is back so out of the blue – Sasuke probably still looks like he hasn’t slept in a week and Kakashi is annoyingly good at picking up those cues and asking awkward questions. Sasuke needs time to think of a strategy, a tactic, something. So, with his pulse thundering in his ears, Sasuke is quite ready to turn around and walk away. He doesn't use the word escape but that is what he means.

His strategic retreat is halted by Gai. There is this all-obtrusive voice of his that booms over the everyday sounds of the village as he calls after Sasuke while somehow managing to address Kakashi at the same time.

“Rival! I see your student! He should join us for he hasn’t had the opportunity to enjoy your most pleasant company for months!” Gai shouts, stopping Sasuke in his tracks. “Sasuke-kun, come here!”

Sasuke stands frozen in place for a few seconds, his mind whirling at full speed as he tries to come up with an excuse to get out of the situation. His options range from yelling that he’s very busy at the moment, sorry, can’t do now, to staging an attack on the village with his clones as a diversion. Running is a valid option too, though as far as he knows Gai, and that isn’t even much, the man might just start running after him.

Sasuke can't pretend he didn't hear Gai with the distance between them being so short, so finally Sasuke turns slowly around, biting the inside of his cheek, and forces himself to walk up to the two men. He keeps his gaze on the ground, not really wanting to face the awkwardness that is surely about to ensue.

But Sasuke can’t help himself. He steals a careful look at Kakashi, glancing at him through his lashes, his shoulders tight. Kakashi turns from facing Gai and towards him, and Sasuke can pinpoint the exact moment Kakashi notices him.

An honest, gentle smile spreads on his masked face and Sasuke feels himself sigh in relief. Kakashi is smiling at him. The expression seems to come so naturally to him that Kakashi doesn’t even notice it until it’s already on his face.

Sasuke’s treacherous heart speeds up.

Kakashi tilts his head to the side just a little, his gaze still locked on Sasuke, and Sasuke reads it as the greeting it is. He mouths a soundless “Hi” back at Kakashi as he reaches the two.

”How are you on this fine day, young Sasuke?” Guy asks then with his teeth shining in the April sun. Sasuke feels vaguely threatened by all the green spandex in his near proximity. He is also pretty distracted by the warm expression Kakashi gave him and the fact that the man hasn’t quite yet stopped looking at him, so the only even remotely rational thing Sasuke can manage is a blunt ”Okay”.

Kakashi chuckles at his answer while Gai grants him a wide smile along with a yell of “Marvellous!”. Sasuke blinks as the Blue Beast of the Leaf turns to address Kakashi again. Gai exchanges a few words with the other jounin before he salutes them both and wanders off, yelling something about youth and going to find Lee.

They stand there, looking as Gai disappears into the crowd on the streets – Kakashi with an amused glint in his eyes and Sasuke feeling that he is still not awake enough to be dealing with all of this so unexpectedly.

Befuddled, Sasuke turns to look at Kakashi and finds the man already studying him.

“It’s been a while,” Kakashi says and there’s still a hint of laughter in his voice, his words soft.

“It has,” Sasuke answers when his brain produces nothing else to say. He crosses his arms over his chest, because he feels awkward having them just hanging there at his side. But as soon as he crosses them, there is this voice in his head that sounds remarkably like his mother telling him that crossing one’s arms comes across as off-putting and rude, and he doesn’t necessarily want that either. So, feeling embarrassed and awkward and ridiculous, Sasuke wangles his arms free and sticks his hands into his pockets right after.

Kakashi seems mostly amused at his display, or then he is just glad to be back home, because the smile has yet to leave his face.

“I heard from Tsunade that you got yourself into the Council. How does it feel to be a clan head?” he asks with a grin and it feels so much like the old times that Sasuke almost hits him for being so impossible.

“It’s brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Having to put up with stubborn old assholes in power is what I always wanted to do, so thank you very much for that fine idea,” Sasuke scoffs, trying to hide how nice it feels to have at least one member of Team 7 still talking to him. “When did you have time to talk to Tsunade? When did you come back?”

“Last night. We travelled the whole day to get home and it was still way past midnight before we finally reached the village. I don’t know what Tsunade was doing up, but I saw light in her office so I went to report to her right then. I think she was mumbling something about going to kick somebody out of the archives,” Kakashi chuckles, quirking his brow at the last part.

Sasuke decides not to answer anything to that.

Kakashi just shakes his head at him, laughing under his breath. Then he seems to get an idea because he stops the movement and glances at Sasuke again.

”Have you had lunch yet?” he asks and Sasuke, after he says no, is then swept off to lunch – to somewhere else than Ichiraku's for a change.

Not long after, Sasuke finds himself sitting at a diner with Kakashi occupying the seat opposite him. It’s not a fancy place, but not a dumpster either, and really, Sasuke is just glad to be eating something else than ramen. There is the delicious smell of food lingering in the air and the comfortable sound of the customers chattering about everyday things. Kakashi and Sasuke seized the farthest table in the corner of the room next to a large window, with Kakashi’s back to the wall and Sasuke staring out of the window at the people passing by.

It’s becoming increasingly clear that instead of trying to avoid Sasuke or feeling awkward around him, Kakashi is making a serious effort to catch up with him, honestly interested how Sasuke’s life been during the months they were apart, and for that reason alone Sasuke is happy to indulge him.

He tells Kakashi about the Council, about the plea and about the spy – he realises that as soon as he gets himself talking, the fear of their relationship being ruined vanishes. It’s exactly like the times before the horrible chuunin exams finale – there are lots of quirked eyebrows and dry smiles, sarcastic comments and slight teasing. It’s not until Kakashi points something out to Sasuke and tells him to glance behind his back, _glance_ , not to stare, because there is something funny about some waiter’s shirt and Kakashi can’t stop himself from making a joke about it and causing Sasuke to bite his lip to keep himself laughing, that Sasuke realises that he hasn’t enjoyed himself this much in ages.

Kakashi dares to raise an eyebrow at his fit and only makes it worse, and Sasuke promptly kicks him under the table to make him stop before hiding his face into his hands.

Apparently Kakashi thinks tormenting him is funny, because he watches Sasuke trying to compose himself for a while, throwing in a joke or two every time it seems like Sasuke is finally going to get himself under control.

Eventually, Kakashi takes pity on him. He leans back on his chair, slumping down on his seat, and tilts his head to the side. It takes a few seconds before he gets his next question out of himself.

“So, did Naruto ever have the courage to ask you out?” Kakashi asks, sounding casual, but his gaze drifts away from Sasuke when the younger man looks up at him in surprise.

“Was it that obvious?” Sasuke sighs, leaning his elbow on the table, and covers his eyes with his hand. This is just so typical – of course Kakashi would have noticed Naruto pining after him long before Sasuke did himself. It doesn’t make it any less embarrassing.

“Would it make you feel better if I lied and said no?” Kakashi teases, not sorry at all.

Sasuke pinches the bridge of his nose before opening his eyes slowly, studying the man opposite him. Kakashi is looking the very picture of his relaxed self – he’s eyeing Sasuke back, one hand resting on his lap while he is leaning his head on the other one. But despite his outward casual appearance, there is a hint of tenseness in his shoulders and Sasuke, for the life of him, can’t place the reason for it.

Sasuke realises he can’t escape this situation without answering the question.

“Yes, he did ask,” he admits, keeping his eyes steadily off Kakashi.

“I guess congratulations are in order then,” comes Kakashi’s voice, betraying nothing, but Sasuke can hear him scuffle on his seat as he straightens his back. Uncomfortable, that is how Sasuke would say Kakashi is feeling if he didn’t know him better.

Sasuke stares down at his hands, clenching them into fists only to uncurl his fingers soon after.

“We broke up. I left him,” Sasuke says abruptly, his words fast and woven together. He’s blurting them out before he can realise what he is saying, but there is this need to explain that it’s over with Naruto, has been for a while, at least for Sasuke. “It just didn’t work.”

“Oh.”

Now Sasuke looks up at Kakashi, his attention drawn by the sound that felt like an accident, never meant to escape his lips. Kakashi seems to notice that too because he is quick to correct himself.

“I’m sorry. Are you alright?”

Trying to hide how much he wants to ask what Kakashi meant by that _oh_ , Sasuke turns his gaze back on his hands on his lap, tangling his fingers together.

“I’m fine. I guess. It’s not exactly that I’m sad about not being with him anymore, but the fact that I seem to have lost him as a friend too.”

“Are we talking about the same Naruto here?” Kakashi asks, sounding more like himself now that they are talking about a little bit safer subject. “As in the Naruto who wouldn’t stop babbling about bringing you back even after he lost to you at the Valley of the End? Who raged at Jiraiya when he had the nerve to tell Naruto to give up on you?” Kakashi continues, focused on Sasuke as he leans forward. “I don’t buy this, seriously, I don’t. I haven’t seen him give up on anything in his life.”

Kakashi stops for a while. He glances down at his gloved hands, now resting on the table, before he looks up at Sasuke again. But this time his voice is much more softer and his eyes gentler.

“You have to understand that you have been his goal, his dream, for so long that it hurts to let go. Maybe he has been a little bit in love with you since you were kids – he might have had his dream come true only for you to back out on him. This doesn’t mean he loves you any less, but he’s going to be hurting for a while. Give him time.”

For a second Sasuke just sits there and wonders if he is honestly going to start crying. It hits him only now how much he has needed someone to sit him down and tell him that it’s going to be alright in the end, even if it takes a while to get to the end.

Still tangling his fingers together and keeping his eyes solely to the window, Sasuke nods, his body stiff, and waits until he is certain his voice won’t shake before he speaks.

“Are you as optimistic about Sakura?” he asks, stealing a swift look at Kakashi before turning away again because he isn’t entirely sure whether his eyes are rimmed red or not.

“Did you break up with her too?” Kakashi asks, sounding confused and exasperated at the same time.

Sasuke has the courage to roll his eyes at him.

“She confessed her love to me. I told her I didn’t feel that way about her. She showed up on my doorstep a month later and told me she won’t give up on me. It’s been so awkward with her that we haven’t talked since.”

Kakashi blinks at him, blinks again, covers his masked mouth with his hand, leans on his elbow and exhales through his nose.

“I leave you for a few months and this is what happens. How you managed to survive on your own all those years, I will never understand…” he murmurs, making a displeased sound with his tongue.

“It’s not funny,” Sasuke mutters, throwing dirty looks at Kakashi.

“It kinda is,” is the immediate retort.

Sasuke tries to kick him under the table again, but this time the annoying bastard is clever enough to dodge.

“It’s not the first time Sakura’s after you, and not the first time you have turned her down,” Kakashi states.

“But it is the first time she made any effort to get to know me before she dumped her feelings on me. What if it’s different this time because of that?”

“Maybe she just has to go through this and finally accept that you won’t change your mind. You know, grow up and move on.”

“Hn,” Sasuke hums. He is getting enough of analysing his misfortune with his love life, and that’s why he tries to steer their conversation towards another direction. “So, how was the mission? Did you stop the whatever crime organisation you were after?”

“It was boring, most of the time, when it wasn’t dangerous. But you know, the usual, pretending to be someone else to get into their ranks. Long nights sitting in rain, pretending to keep watch for their enemies when I was in fact watching them. And lonely – our team had to pretend we didn’t know each other, so yeah. Long and lonely six months,” Kakashi explains, chuckling at the end and whirling his chopstick on his plate, sounding cheerier than he looks. He stays silent for a while, his eyes low, like he’s lost in his thoughts, before he looks up at Sasuke and manages a small smile. “It’s good to be home.”

Sasuke doesn’t really know what to say to that – apart from _It’s good to have you back_ or _I missed you_ , that is, because neither of those is an option _._ Sasuke keeps his face blank while he weaves his fingers into the hem of his shirt under the table.

“You didn’t happen to run into Danzou while you were away, didn’t you?” he asks, trying to keep his voice light, only risking stealing quick glances at Kakashi, afraid that the other might somehow to be able to read from his eyes how shaken he is.

“No, I didn’t,” Kakashi sighs. “But I heard rumours about a large group of people that had wandered around the borders of the Fire Country during the winter. Apparently, they found a place to stay or moved to the other side of the border, since nobody has seen them since. That could have been Danzou and his followers. Or not.”

Sasuke has jumped up to his feet and slammed his hands on the table before he can catch himself. He doesn’t have the time to open his mouth before Kakashi beats him to it.

“Sit back down. You can’t just go running all around the Fire Country because somebody said something about seeing someone that might have been Danzou.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Sasuke mutters back, even though in his mind he was already half-way through the door. But when he relaxes his tense shoulders and slumps back on the seat, he realises that he doesn’t really want to go that much. Tracking through the forests and rural villages of the Fire Country because of a lead that isn’t even really a lead isn’t something Sasuke has patience for anymore. And he doesn’t necessarily want to leave the village now that he has just got Kakashi back.

He closes his eyes and leans back on the chair. “Let’s talk about something else.”

Kakashi is happy to let it all slide and start telling Sasuke about the time he almost blew his cover during the mission because somebody misplaced the wig he used in his disguise.

At some point in their conversation the famous bell test comes up – Sasuke isn’t sure how they end up there, or why exactly they haven’t talked about it at all during the year Sasuke has been back in Konoha. Sasuke isn't really that surprised to hear that Kakashi let the other two original members of Team 7 take the test again, and he really means it to be a joke when he suggests that he should be allowed to try too for the sake of equality. Kakashi, probably just to annoy him, gets excited about it, or as excited as he can get, and drags him to the training grounds with Sasuke only mildly complaining.

The sun is still shining by the time they get to the training fields, and there are no clouds to be seen on the vast blue sky. The trees surrounding the grounds are vibrant green and Sasuke spies a flock of birds taking flight from one of them. There are no signs of winter to be seen anymore – the field is covered in lush grass and the breeze blowing through the clearing is warm and light.

Kakashi whips one bell out of his pocket and swirls it in the air a few times.

”No trying to kill each other today?” he asks with a wink and ties to the bell to his vest at his hip. Sasuke scoffs at him. He really wants to test his skills against his former teacher now that he can concentrate on his techniques and tactics instead of just mindlessly trying to kill the man, but Kakashi joking about their last fight is still not appreciated.

But Sasuke won’t back down from a challenge either, so he draws out his katana while shifting his weight from one foot to another.

Kakashi grabs a kunai and then the fight is on.

Much like during their last battle, they are similar in their fighting styles. With both of them leaning on the sharingan and lightning techniques, speed and precision, it's hard to separate their attacks from each other. And even though the traditional Uchiha fighting style and battle stances still run deep in Sasuke, Kakashi had his chance as his teacher to adjust the way the last Uchiha holds himself, balances his weight, grips onto his weapons, and Sasuke feels like he is fighting his own clone when he recognises his own movements in the older man.

The fight is full of falling in and out of genjutsu with the occasional harsh clash of steel against steel. Sasuke feels his hair stand up by all the electricity in the air. This time he has the mind to think before he attacks, and his every movement is precise and controlled and he is positively surprised how evenly balanced the two of them are. This isn't like battling against Naruto who is an explosion and blinding heat and power – this is like dancing. They are mirroring each other and Sasuke hadn't even realised how hard it is to fight someone who thinks exactly like you.

With a well-aimed katon Sasuke manages to distract Kakashi just so that he gets a chance to attack the man head on. He jumps, spins himself upside down in the air and tries to land a kick on Kakashi’s head but Kakashi manages to block Sasuke. With a swift hand Sasuke reaches for the bell, but Kakashi dodges him again and raises his kunai for an attack. Sasuke lands on his hand, throwing himself back on his feet right after, eyes following the kunai in his teacher's hand, and he doesn't notice it when Kakashi moves to trip Sasuke on his own feet. In his panic to keep himself balanced, Sasuke grabs the closest thing to his free hand – Kakashi’s vest – and drags the other down with him.

Sasuke lands soundly on his back on the ground with an _oomph_ and soon there is a kunai pressed against his neck under his chin. This seems to be it for their battle.

”That was a dirty move,” he growls at Kakashi, trying to catch his breath while Kakashi dares to grin down at him. “And for the record, this test is about teamwork. How am I supposed to work with anybody when I'm alone against you?”

“I never said it was fair,” Kakashi laughs back at him and it really is not fair that he isn’t at all as out of breath as Sasuke. He is crouched over Sasuke with one knee on the ground near Sasuke’s hip. He has one hand holding the kunai under the younger man’s chin and the other pressed against the ground next to Sasuke’s head to keep himself upwards. It seems that Kakashi lost his balance too when Sasuke yanked him down with him, because he is almost on top of Sasuke – he caught himself only at the last moment before crashing down on the ground. “And this was your idea to begin with.”

“As far as I can remember, you won last time too because of a trick,” Sasuke quips back at Kakashi and can’t quite stop himself from smirking up at him. Oh, how he has missed this – this arrogance and sarcasm and smugness. The ground he is pinned against is hard and cold underneath him and blade of the kunai at his neck is a breath away from scraping his skin, but any of that doesn’t keep Sasuke from taunting Kakashi. If anything, it makes him even cockier. “Are you scared of a fair fight?”

“Terribly,” Kakashi grins back at him without missing a beat, his voice deep and breathy. It doesn’t look the slightest like he has any intentions of moving away from looming over Sasuke. And when neither of them turns their gaze away from each other, something shifts in Kakashi’s eyes. Now they are dark and hooded and focused solely on Sasuke, like he has forgotten all about the bell test already.

Sasuke hasn’t still let go of Kakashi’s vest.

His breath hitches in his throat when he feels Kakashi lean closer towards him. Sasuke tightens his grip on the man, pulling him down, his gaze locked on Kakashi’s mismatched eyes. He brings up his other hand to Kakashi’s face to yank down his mask and Sasuke can already feel the hot breath on his lips –

And just before Kakashi closes the short distance between them, Sasuke is hit with the realisation that he can’t do this. He _can’t_ let himself do this. It doesn’t matter that Kakashi has clearly changed his mind about them, it doesn’t matter that Sasuke wants nothing more than tangle his fingers into Kakashi’s light hair and kiss him until they are both out of breath. It’s just so cruel, that Kakashi is doing this to him now, looking at him like Sasuke’s the only thing he has thought about for the last six months, when Sasuke just swore to himself that he would never again think of Kakashi this way.

Sasuke needs a way out of this situation because he isn’t sure whether he can stop himself if he lets this go any further.

He tears his gaze away from Kakashi for a split second and notices his chance.

The bell is still hanging from Kakashi’s hip, slightly swaying in the small gap between them, and suddenly the battle for the bell isn't over.

With a swift movement of his hand Sasuke snatches the bell from Kakashi and rolls himself away from under the man. Now he just has to play this right – as far as Kakashi gets to know, all of this was a ruse to get the bell.

Sasuke gets up on his knees and takes one quick, shuddering breath before he turns back towards Kakashi.

”Seriously, leaving yourself open like that, it’s a rookie mistake – ” he starts but is cut short when he sees the flabbergasted look on Kakashi's face. Kakashi’s eyes are so wide and full of disbelief as he stares at him that Sasuke can’t stop himself from bursting out laughing. He has never seen such an expression on Kakashi’s face, and it’s so weird to see him so surprised that Sasuke has a hard time breathing.

”Talking about dirty moves, you brat,” Kakashi growls back at him, trying to get his bearings back, but the way his eyes glint soon after reveals that he is really just trying to keep himself from chuckling too. ”You’re the one that keeps trying to kiss me, how am I supposed to know when you don't mean it?”

”I take all the advantages I can get,” Sasuke retorts. His heart hasn’t still calmed down and he almost wishes that Kakashi would have pressed him more, asked him what the hell was that – Sasuke doesn’t want to let go of the knowledge that Kakashi might want him too after all.

He studies the bell, turning it around in his hand. The metal feels cool and smooth against his skin.

”How did Naruto and Sakura beat you?” Sasuke asks, curling his fingers around the bell and looks up at Kakashi.

Kakashi turns his gaze away from him and towards the sky.

”It's such a beautiful day today, isn't it?” he smiles and makes a poor attempt at changing the subject.

Sasuke throws the bell at him.

”They threatened to spoil Jiraiya's newest book,” Kakashi whines as he rubs the spot where the bell hit him on his head. Sasuke rolls his eyes at him.

”You get distracted by cheap porn books and me trying to kiss you. If I didn't know better, I would say you had a problem, S _ensei_.”

”Oh, shut up,” comes the annoyed answer.

The ground is still cold even this far into the spring and Sasuke stands up before any parts of him freeze. He expects the other man do the same, but when Kakashi stays where he is, Sasuke turns back towards him with furrowed brows.

Kakashi is still sitting on the ground, his legs crossed in front of him. The exasperated expression is gone from his face and now he is all serious lines and sagged shoulders.

”What is it?”

Kakashi sighs and his gaze to meet Sasuke's with tired eyes.

”Tsunade asked me to take her place as the next Hokage.”

That declaration takes a few seconds to sink in.

”Oh,” Sasuke lets out before he can stop himself. After a moment of indecisiveness, he opts to crouch back down and cross his arms over his chest. Next to him, Kakashi has turned to look away from him and Sasuke follows his gaze to the forest spreading out before them. ”How are you feeling about it?”

”It's not the first time I have been offered that position.”

”And that's not what I asked.”

Kakashi gives him an irked look. Sasuke stares back at him with a straight face without blinking. He is good at that. It's an Uchiha thing.

And as expected, Kakashi gives up first.

”Honoured. Humbled. Stressed,” he draws out slowly as if he is asking Sasuke instead of telling him. Sasuke merely blinks at him and that seems to be it to Kakashi. ”Shit, scared as hell. Fleeing from the village and becoming a missing-nin feels like a very good idea right now,” he breathes out and glances at Sasuke with a foreign depressed look on his face.

”Been there, done that,” Sasuke quips back. ”Works like a charm.”

”Yeah, well, so I thought,” Kakashi chuckles, though it’s not a happy sound, and covers his eyes with his hand. ”I don't want the responsibility. I – I have always been someone others have sent on missions, that's all I know how to do. I kill people, that's my job. I can work with people dying. But keeping a whole village alive? No.”

Sasuke has a feeling that Kakashi hasn't talked about this with anybody else before this, and decides to sit down.

”You're actually panicking. That's not like you.”

”I know!” Kakashi hisses at him and notices only after that he just proved what Sasuke said.

Sasuke notes the dark circles under the man's eyes and the way Kakashi clenches his fists, and sees what's behind them.

”There's something else there than just the fear of public speaking, isn't there?” he asks and is ready for the dirty look when it comes. But then Kakashi decides to act like himself again and stands up, dusting his trousers.

”I never told you about my own team. Or about my father. Maybe it's only fair that you get to hear my tragic sob story as I got to hear yours. But not here.”

Sasuke wonders if there was an insult hidden in there somewhere, but decides to let it be this time.

”Where are we going then?”

”Just to my place,” Kakashi calls out over his shoulder and vanishes with a cloud of smoke and leaves. With a grunt Sasuke follows after him, landing right in front of Kakashi's apartment to find that Kakashi is already holding the door open for him.

”A shower and change of clothes would be nice first, don't you think?” Kakashi says and seems to be a little more himself as there is a familiar cheekiness in his voice when he ushers Sasuke inside. ”Go steal some of my clothes, you know where they are, and have a shower. I'll check if the dogs are here.”

And with that he ventures further into his home and leaves a slightly baffled Sasuke behind. Sasuke forgets himself staring after Kakashi for a few seconds, but then he shakes his head, trying to make himself focus, and finds his way to the bathroom in the familiar apartment.

After a warm shower and a new set of clothes for both of them, they land on the living room couch. Sasuke crosses his legs under himself and buries his cold toes under the hem of his borrowed, over-sized shirt.

”Start from the beginning,” he says, ready to listen to whatever Kakashi has to say. Kakashi blinks at his sudden request and Sasuke realizes how expressive his face is – Kakashi seems to be almost bad at hiding his emotions without the cover of his mask.

Then, with a shaky breath, Kakashi starts the tale that takes the whole evening to be told.

”My father killed himself when I was five.”


	20. Darkest Before Sunrise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things in this chapter have been based on Kakashi's Shadow of the ANBU anime arc, and I totally recommend watching it if you guys haven't seen it yet, it's awesome. Also, if you ever write a long fic, don't change the plot when you have already published 100k words worth of the story, it's a nightmare.
> 
> Warnings: mention of suicide, dark themes

_The 24th_ _of April, the fifth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

Time flies past them as Sasuke forgets himself into listening to Kakashi and soon, without him even noticing it, several hours have passed. Kakashi already threw Sasuke off balance with his first revelation about his father, and it hasn’t really got any easier to listen to him since.

Kakashi tells Sasuke everything about his life with a steady voice, starting from his sad childhood and moving on from there towards his teenage years without any hesitation. He doesn’t sugar-coat anything, he doesn’t skip the ugly details, and he doesn’t waver even during the difficult parts. And the whole time Kakashi’s bare face stays as unreadable as if he was still wearing a mask.

It’s like it was just a mission report Kakashi was reciting.

Kakashi’s voice is quiet and raspy by now – he has been speaking throughout the whole evening, never really stopping after he got himself started. His final words are almost abrupt as he reaches the part where their lives connect, the day Team 7 was formed, and it’s only then that Kakashi shows any signs of weariness – his shoulders sag with a sigh, and he lets his ragged voice die out. He is sitting sideways on the couch, facing Sasuke, and now he just stops to look at Sasuke, waiting for his reaction.

Sasuke is at a loss for words.

He has heard everything about the father who committed suicide because of the closed-mindedness of the village, he has heard about the childhood rival that sacrificed himself for Kakashi only to be left to his death, about the other teammate that Kakashi was forced to kill even though he had promised to keep her safe, and all about the traumatised, depressed boy who eventually grew into the man Sasuke is looking at right now. Sasuke has learned so much about the boy who graduated at the age of six, who never really had friends of his own age – and the ones he had were torn away from him far too soon – about the boy who was assigned to the ANBU when he was thirteen and continued to serve in the assassination squad for over ten years.

Sasuke watches the weary man sitting in front of him and sees the thirteen-year-old boy that kept washing his hands over and over again because the only thing he could see was his friend's blood on them.

_“What if I were to kill the_ _ones you_ _love most?”_

_“No such person exists_ _. Those people have already been killed.”_

How stupid he has been. How utterly, selfishly stupid.

Sasuke studies Kakashi, his calloused hands, larger than Sasuke’s, his light hair that spills over his neck and over the collar of his shirt, his scar that cuts his eyebrow in two and barely misses his mouth. Sasuke thought that he knew this man, knew his gentle eyes and deep voice, but this evening has forced him to admit that he never really grasped who Kakashi is behind his mask. Because only now, for the first time since they met each other all those years ago, Sasuke feels that he finally _understands_ the man in front of him. He might not accept all of his decisions, but understands why Kakashi made those choices.

He just never thought that there would be so much pain in this man who hides behind both literal and figurative masks, quirked brows and well-timed chuckles.

Sasuke wishes that he had known this, all of this. He would have done so much so differently. There is this ache screaming in him that Kakashi should have told him this way back when Sasuke was still hellbent on killing his brother and thought that his only option was leaving the village. If Kakashi had told him this instead of tying him up and scolding him, told him how much he understands the pain Sasuke was going through, maybe Sasuke would have stayed.

But just as fast as that thought came to him, comes the realisation that it could never have happened – back then, no matter how much Kakashi valued Sasuke as a student, there was no way that he would have trusted Sasuke with his heart like this. No, without the past year that put them through so much, they wouldn’t be here now. They would never have ended like this, with Kakashi opening up to him about his past and Sasuke sitting there, feeling so honoured and bittersweet at the same time.

And under all those feelings, Sasuke still can’t get past the fact that Kakashi talks about his past like it’s a trivial thing, an old memory to be forgotten and tossed aside. Like it doesn’t mean anything that he had to suffer through all that. Sasuke doesn’t know who he should go to kill for making Kakashi like this, for letting him brush off his pain so easily.

“I’m so sorry,” Sasuke hears himself say. His voice sounds so strange to his ear, so raw and honest he barely recognises himself. “About everything. I wish I had known, I…”

“It’s all in the past now,” Kakashi answers, going for his usual laidback, not-a-care-in-the-world attitude. The familiar, meaningless smile appears on his face. “It doesn’t matter anymore – “

“Of course it fucking matters!” Sasuke hisses and stops Kakashi before he get any further with his bullshit. He is so damn skilled at downplaying his problems, too damn skilled for his own good. “You haven’t talked about any of this with anyone before, have you?”

“Like you’re any better,” Kakashi quips back with a chuckle.

Sasuke is feeling so many things at once he doesn’t know what to do with himself – he wants to shake Kakashi for doing this to himself, he wants to go burn the village for letting this to happen, he wants to cry because Kakashi was still so young when he came home to see his father lying in his own blood with his blade thrust through his stomach and Sasuke knows exactly how the little boy must have felt.

“You have been through so much more than most of the rest of us have, and still you keep this to yourself and say it doesn’t matter,” he growls, more harshly than he intended. “It matters and you shouldn’t have had to wait this long for somebody to care about what happened to you. You shouldn’t have had to wait this long and get only me to listen to you.”

“Don’t belittle yourself like that.”

“This isn’t about me!” Sasuke growls, looking up at Kakashi with desperation. He’s feeling so vulnerable because he has been trusted with all of this pain and when Sasuke wants to get angry about the fact that Kakashi has had to be alone with this, Kakashi just tries to derail this conversation to be about Sasuke’s feelings. ”You have been a victim of the village just as much as I have. From the moment you father died you have been conditioned to think of the good of Konoha before anything else. And look what it did to you.”

They are two people that lost everything to the village at a very young age and have suffered because of that ever since.

“This village made you what you are today, this whole system that our world operates by, the system of sending children to fight the adults’ battles. And it never took any responsibility of what it caused. Just like it never did with my clan.”

“Sasuke – “

“I’m not angry at you,” Sasuke rushes to say. “I just wish that this wouldn’t have happened to you. To any of us.” He still doesn’t know how to express how shocked and shaken he is, and how much it means to him that Kakashi trusted him with this. “I get why you don’t want the Hokage title. Hell, I would get it even without all this baggage you have, it’s a huge responsibility.”

“Nah, it’s the paperwork I’m worried about,” Kakashi laughs, trying his best to crawl out of this situation – it’s clear that this is hard for him, and Sasuke has the heart to indulge him by rolling his eyes and scoffing.

But this too important to Sasuke for him to let it go now.

“No, seriously, I get it. You don’t have to make excuses, I get it,” Sasuke states, his word slow as he searches for Kakashi’s gaze again. “You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, right?”

“In theory, I could refuse, yes. But I don’t know if there is really anybody else to take the title. I’m the Fourth’s student, and the Fifth’s first pick to be her successor. It’s best for the village if it succession is seamless, if I take it – “

“Screw the village! The village never gave a shit about you, so you don’t get to guilt yourself into taking the title just because it’s best for them,” Sasuke growls, giving up and moving from his end of the couch to come sit next to Kakashi, his knee pressing against Kakashi’s thigh when he crosses his legs in front of him. “Forget about Konoha. This is about you and only you.”

Kakashi closes his eyes and covers them with his hand, his whole body stiffening, and finally there is a crack in his composure. It takes Sasuke’s breath away to see all this fragility in the man whom he has come to know as the perfect assassin, the deadliest shinobi of the Leaf. Sasuke has never seen Kakashi like this. And as he watches the rapid rise and fall of Kakashi’ chest, Sasuke feels like he is looking at himself from a year ago, hidden away in that cave in the Land of Snow, baring so much of himself that he had never shared with anyone.

Sasuke is forced to glance up when Kakashi begins again, his voice unusually fast and emotional.

”I was in ANBU for twelve years. Then I was pulled out of the force to teach children. The Third never asked if I wanted to do that. And look where the only team I ever accepted ended up,” he blurts out, removing his hand to look at Sasuke with more desperation than Sasuke has ever seen. “I can't take care of a three-man genin team, what am I supposed to do with a whole village?”

There's a long silence. Sasuke awkwardly wiggles his toes and brushes his hair from his eyes. But before he can think of anything to say, Kakashi continues, but this time with a lower but steadier voice.

“But I could change so much,” he whispers, almost like he is talking to himself instead of Sasuke. “I – _we_ could start changing the system, we could make sure that what happened to both of us would never happen to anybody ever again.” Now Kakashi looks at him, and there is a hint of his old, confident self in that gaze. “If the Council doesn’t agree to reveal the truth about your clan now, I could help you with it as long as you need. Right now my word doesn’t mean anything to the Council, but if I was the Hokage…”

”But do you want to do it?” Sasuke jumps in. Because agreeing to take the Hokage title even to change the shinobi system like Team 7 planned still means doing it for someone else. “Will you regret taking the job ten years from now if you have to talk yourself into it today?”

”I don't know,” comes the answer. Kakashi's right eye is slate grey in the dim light of the room. The sharingan in his left spins lazily and Sasuke feels odd now that he knows which one of cousins that eye belonged to.

The old couch creaks under Sasuke's weight as he leans forward. A year ago their roles were reversed, he was the one on the brink of breaking down and Kakashi was there to listen. This time it’s Sasuke’s turn to pick up the pieces and put them back together.

”Konoha wants you because of your battle experience. Your strategic thinking. They want somebody capable of defending the village and leading the forces should the need arise. They don't need a babysitter.”

He closes his eyes, breaths deeply through his nose and opens his eyes again.

”They want somebody who can and will put the village first. And you have. You will. We both know that,” he states and looks Kakashi straight in the eye. ”I know that you think you lost Obito and Rin because you were too focused on the way the village wants its shinobi to be, that it’s your fault they’re dead. It’s not.”

Sasuke does the boldest thing he has done ever since he walked back to Konoha after killing his brother and decided to bear the weight of his clan on his shoulders yet again.

He reaches for Kakashi’s hand with his own, slowly taking it into both of his, just letting it rest there between his hands. It doesn’t matter what Sasuke decided to do about his feelings, this has nothing to with it – this has nothing to do with him. This is about his friend, about Kakashi needing someone, and this time Sasuke is going to be there for him like Kakashi was for him.

“Committing yourself to the village won't always result in you losing someone. So, if you honestly want to take the job, you shouldn’t refuse just because of your past,” he says, keeping his eyes solely to their hands. He wouldn’t dare to do this, to say these things if he had to look Kakashi in the eye. “You just have to trust us, Naruto and Sakura and me. We all are here to stay.”

”Sasuke – ” Kakashi begins, but doesn't seem to be sure of what he wants to say, and his voice fades away.

When Sasuke steals a quick glimpse at Kakashi, he finds him looking at their hands, not saying anything. Sasuke intertwines their fingers, loosely tangling them together. He doesn’t glance back up when he continues.

“Don’t take the title of the Hokage because of some righteous reason of doing it for the good of the village. Especially not the version of Konoha the Elders and the Council want. Take it to attack the system and the old men leading it. Change the system. Change it for us,” Sasuke says, his voice getting stronger with each word as he gets surer about his this. “Change it for your father.”

_Change it for me_.

After that, with Kakashi still staying nothing, Sasuke fears that maybe he was too forward after all. Feeling awkward, he lets go and quickly stands up from the couch. He decides to give Kakashi some time and privacy and retreats to the kitchen.

Sasuke switches the lights on and stands there at the middle of the room for a few seconds, his mind whirling, before he remembers to take a seat at the table. He winces when the chair screeches against the floor – he is feeling self-conscious enough as it is, he doesn’t these loud noises to remind Kakashi that Sasuke is still here.

He can still feel the warmth of Kakashi’s skin on his.

Sasuke leans his chin on his hand with a sigh, drumming the fingers of the other hand against the table. But the sound is too loud in his ears and he stops himself mid-motion, curling his fingers into a fist instead. Sasuke turns to look out the window – the night is dark and the only thing he can see is his own distorted reflection staring back at him.

Sasuke hadn’t realised how exactly similar they are, Kakashi and him. How much they have been through. He had never though how dark his former teacher’s past was – of course Sasuke had guessed that Kakashi hadn’t had the happiest of childhoods and it was common knowledge that he had been in the Third Great Shinobi war when he was young, but it had never even crossed Sasuke’s mind that there would be this much pain and desperation in the man he always thought as laid-back and lazy.

He can’t help but feel appalled because what he witnessed today was the results of the village treating its children poorly. It makes Sasuke want to go murder the Elders in their sleep, scare the rest of the Council shitless with his mangenkyoo sharingan and then leave Konoha for good – preferably with Team 7 alongside him. It’s an impossible dream, but it does give him some sort of satisfaction to sit there in Kakashi’s kitchen and fantasize about all the slow and painful ways he could send the Elders to their – not even early – graves.

On the other hand, all of this makes him want to fight the system even more. Apparently nobody else is going to do it, so Sasuke has to. Especially if Kakashi agrees to take the Hokage position – they’ll have to work together to make it work. They’ll need all of Team 7.

If it just was so easy.

Sasuke is too tired to think about all of this. All that has happened today has left him exhausted – it’s not often that he has to be so in touch with his emotions, and it’s surprisingly tiring. He spies the clock on the wall – it’s way past midnight already. Kakashi had to explain so much and tell him more about the people he kept mentioning so that Sasuke could understand what he was talking about, and the whole evening flew past them. Sasuke isn’t sure whether he accidentally dozed off in the kitchen or if he just forgot himself deep in his thoughts, because he could swear it wasn’t that late when he first sat down at the table.

Blinking to keep himself awake, Sasuke sneers at the thought of still having to head home this late.

Kakashi startles him when he appears at the doorway, looking only slightly more composed than he was when Sasuke fled from the living room.

“You can stay here for the night,” he says with a quiet voice.

Sasuke nods, afraid of breaking something if he speaks. He must have been staring because Kakashi sighs at him.

“I’m fine. I just need to think,” he says, scratching the back of his head. Then he lifts his gaze to look at Sasuke again, and this time his voice is softer and eyes kinder. “Go to sleep.”

Sasuke can see that Kakashi still needs time to consider all the possibilities ahead of him, and Sasuke doesn’t think anything of it when it’s clear that Kakashi wants to be alone. Or alone but with Sasuke in the apartment. Kakashi could have asked him to leave if he didn’t want Sasuke there – it’s not a feat for a ninja to walk around the village even at this hour, and the only problem Sasuke had with it in the first place was that he was just so tired.

He gives Kakashi a nod and gets up from his chair. When he slips past Kakashi back to the living room, there are blankets waiting for him on the couch. Guess Kakashi needed something to do to while pondering about life changing decisions.

Sasuke climbs on the couch and buries himself under the covers. It doesn’t take him long to fall asleep, it’s easy to relax while listening to the soft sounds Kakashi makes around the apartment – the patter of bare feet on the wooden floor, the muffled sound of a mug being laid on the table, muttered curses as he drops something.

Sasuke might snap awake a few hours later, roused by something so irrelevant he doesn’t remember what it was when he tries to think of it the next morning. Still half-asleep, barely awake, he opens one eye to peer at the dark room, but when he finds only Kakashi walking pass the couch and gently telling him to go back to sleep, Sasuke closes his eye again and falls asleep.

 

o0o

 

Sasuke wakes up to the muffled sounds of two people talking in the kitchen. He’s already burying his head into the pillow, trying to mute the sounds and fall back asleep when he remembers that he is not at home, that it’s Kakashi’s old, lumpy couch he’s vacating, and that there is apparently somebody else in the apartment besides the two of them.

He forces his eyes open and blinks at the still dim living room, his vision blurred and hazy from sleep – the window blinds are still shut and Sasuke has no idea what time it is. He was hoping that one of the dogs might have appeared into the apartment during the morning and made itself comfortable in the living room so Sasuke could have asked it what is going on. He isn’t that lucky.

Sasuke can make out Kakashi’s voice out of the two talking in the kitchen, it’s deep and clear enough that Sasuke is able to recognise it from this distance. If Kakashi is already awake and didn’t come to wake Sasuke up when the guest showed up, it means that Sasuke shouldn’t really worry about whoever it is. Sasuke closes his eyes, he is still drowsy enough that he might just slip back to sleep if he tries. He pulls the blanket over his head, warm and comfortable. Whoever it is, Kakashi can take care of it, it his apartment anyway. Sasuke has nothing to do so he might as well enjoy the morning and sleep some more.

He manages to fool himself for maybe two minutes, then he snaps his eyes open. It bothers him too much, not knowing who it is and what is going on. Sasuke grumbles something into his pillow and gives up. Slowly he climbs up from the couch, cringing when his bare feet hit the cold floor.

Now Sasuke recognises the other voice as Tsunade's. That piques his interest – Sasuke bets all his money that this has to do with her proposal about naming Kakashi the next Hokage. Considering how anxious Kakashi was about the promotion last night, Sasuke doesn’t want him to deal with Tsunade alone. He tries to straighten the rumpled white t-shirt that clearly looks like it isn't his, tugging one sleeve to make himself even somewhat presentable – he doesn’t want to know what kind of a mess his hair is – and wanders to the kitchen with a yawn.

He catches Tsunade mid-sentence. She is seated at the table with a steaming cup of coffee in front of her. Kakashi is sitting at the opposite side of the table, the newspaper of the morning spread in front of him, leaning his chin on his hand as he listens to Tsunade. The ninken are in the apartment after all, the pack has spread all over the kitchen floor. One of them, Sasuke thinks it's the one called Uhei, is resting its head on Kakashi's lap as he absent-mindedly scratches the dog behind its ears.

To Tsunade's credit, she only stops for few seconds when she spots Sasuke before continuing her speech. Sasuke knows exactly what this must look like – the image of him, in Kakashi’s clothes, still soft and blinking from sleep, casually walking across the room to pour himself coffee, knowing exactly in which cabinets and drawers the mugs and spoons are. It doesn’t exactly help that it’s still early in the morning and with the layout of the apartment being as it is, Tsunade has no way of knowing whether he came from the living room or the bedroom. Not that Sasuke cares about what she might think of this – he sits down nonchalantly next to Kakashi and steals the newspaper from his former teacher as the other two carry on their conversation.

Sasuke doesn’t have any interest to acknowledge the situation, Kakashi doesn’t say anything and Tsunade doesn’t ask.

After inhaling one cup of coffee Sasuke has enough caffeine in his system to finally bother to listen to the other shinobis in the room. What he gathers is that Tsunade had apparently dropped the bomb on Kakashi the night he came back, asking him to take her position, but Kakashi had managed to flee the scene without giving her a straight answer. She hadn't been able to hunt Kakashi down since until this morning, and now she drills Kakashi with questions after questions of what he thinks of it.

“You know I have been planning this for a long time, don’t you?” Tsunade explains, her eyes focused on Kakashi who so far has been solemnly nodding during appropriate parts of her tirade but not commenting otherwise. “I can’t focus on the hospital and the village at the same time anymore. I’m needed more as the head of the hospital than as the Hokage. And that’s what I _want_ to do, if I’m being totally honest.”

“I know,” Kakashi answers, still quiet and serious like he was last night. “It wasn’t a surprise, if that’s what you are asking.”

“I am sorry for dumping this all on you. But I feel that I’m growing too old for this – the whole situation with Danzou last summer, the aftermath of it… I’m tired of fighting with the Council every day.”

“Is that supposed be reassuring?” Kakashi chuckles, shaking his head lightly. “No, we’ve been talking about since last autumn, I knew to expect this.”

“I was hoping that you had had time to think about this while you were away. I didn’t mean to make you to decide right after you came back, but the hospital is still short-staffed and that’s where my heart is.”

“It’s alright. I have just never been that excited about the Hokage position.”

“I know how hard it is to make a decision like that in such a short time,” Tsunade hums, suddenly looking her age as she leans on the table. “But everybody seems to expect me to reign forever, running both the Hokage office and the hospital. They tend to forget how old I really am. Well, even I tend to forget that myself sometimes.”

Sasuke looks up from the newspaper and out the window. The morning is beautiful, warm sunlight gleams through the glass and he can hear birds singing outside.

Tsunade turns to him, addressing him for the first time this morning.

“I don’t know why you are here, and I’m not particularly sure whether I want to. But I needed to see you anyway, so it’s good you’re here.”

Sasuke hides another yawn behind his hand, waiting for her to continue.

“I’ve got a date for the hearing of your plea. The Council will vote about it, so I arranged the meeting to be before my resignation. I’ll still be Hokage when that happens so I can back you up,” Tsunade explains. “I know that Kakashi, should he take the job, will surely support you with it as much I will, if not more, but the Council members will work better with someone they already know and respect. Well, sort of.”

And suddenly Sasuke has a date, a deadline, and it’s starting to feel real only now. He will be presenting the matter of his clan to the Council, and it will happen soon. After all the countless hours spent in the archives, after thousands of rewrites of the plea, the moment is finally here.

Tsunade turns back to Kakashi.

“I’ll be resigning in less than a month. I already promised the hospital staff I would take charge there then. I’m sorry that I have to ask you to answer so quickly, but I’ll need to know whether I can count you in or if I have to find somebody else to take my place.”

“No hurry then, I’ll just have to decide today,” Kakashi chuckles, tilting his head to the side. “No pressure at all.”

“I said I’m sorry. But the situation with the hospital is what it is,” Tsunade tells him, and she does look like she honestly means it. “Kakashi, I’m getting old. I truly am.”

“I know. It’s not your fault.”

“It doesn’t have to be a final, definite answer today, as long as I get one by the end of the week. But please tell me if there’s any hope that you might take the job,” Tsunade sighs and closes her eyes. ”You're the best candidate we have. Naruto's still too young and he doesn’t have the mind for the endless pile of paperwork a Hokage will face every day.”

” _And probably never will_ ,” is what Sasuke wants to add but he settles for rolling his eyes. The hot mug warms his hands and he finally feels awake enough to function properly.

”So you're going to dump the job on me whether I want it or not?” Kakashi asks with a defeated tone. There are dark circles under his eyes. Sasuke thinks the man looks ten years older than he is.

”No, this is the moment when I give you a way out if you don't want it. Just say you won't do it and that's it.” Tsunade runs her fingers through her hair. ”But you'd be the best bet for the village.”

Kakashi sighs and then launches into a rant.

”I have never been good at dealing with people and their feelings. How am I supposed to be a Hokage when I wasn’t even suited to be a jounin sensei? I was a horrible teacher – ask this one here if you don't believe me,” he grumbles and nudges Sasuke into his shoulder.

Sasuke gives Tsunade a non-committal shrug and refuses to comment on the matter.

”I think you'll do just fine,” says the Fifth Hokage with a dismissing wave of her hand and leans back on her chair. “Think about me and who I was when I started. You can’t possibly be worse than me.”

Kakashi blinks at her and a look of uncertainty flashes in his eyes. He leans on his elbow, covering his masked mouth with his hand, and closes his eyes for a second. Sasuke can’t hear any sound, but he sees the deep heave of Kakashi’s chest as he sighs.

Sasuke guesses that Kakashi has probably been up the whole night, wondering about this.

Without really thinking about it Sasuke reaches for Kakashi’s hand with his own under the table. His fingertips trace over Kakashi's warm skin for a heartbeat, and in that second something happens. Kakashi’s whole posture changes as he rolls his shoulders back and when he opens his eyes next, there’s that familiar steel in his eyes. Sasuke has missed it.

He knows what choice Kakashi has made.

Tsunade catches that too, because she straightens her back and it’s with the formality of a state leader when she asks her next question.

”Will you be the next Hokage?”

Kakashi’s deep, strong voice comes without a hint of uncertainty.

”I will.”

And then, with Tsunade smiling at her coffee and successful schemes, and Sasuke still blinking in the sunlight of the morning, Kakashi takes Sasuke’s hand into his and squeezes back, and it feels like a thank you.


	21. Static Electricity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a fun and easy chapter to write. It wasn't.
> 
> Thank you so much for all your comments and for over 300 kudos!

 

_The 2nd of May, the fifth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

The week following Tsunade’s morning visit is over long before Sasuke even realises it. The days fly past him, because even though it’s Kakashi who is doomed to become the next Hokage, Sasuke is still dragged into the middle of all the paperwork chaos anyway.

After Kakashi agreed to take the title, Tsunade had produced a mighty pile of papers for him to sign and slammed them on top of Kakashi’s kitchen table, making the mugs jump and spill lukewarm coffee on Sasuke’s newspaper. At that point, the ninken had decided to flee from the room, and their master had shown signs of planning to do the same exact thing.

Kakashi’s eyes had widened at the mountain of paperwork in front of him, and Sasuke had had the inkling that if he was left alone with coordinating the details of the succession, Kakashi might just change his mind and back out of the job. That is why Sasuke had unceremoniously started going through the documents after Tsunade had left, sorting them into smaller piles by their urgency.

Kakashi hadn’t said anything to that, he had still been dumbfounded by the sheer size of the mountain of papers he was supposed to sign. There was a rare confused expression on his face, revealing that he was probably already regretting his decision of becoming a Kage.

But soon enough Kakashi had got over himself and taken some of the documents from Sasuke and started skimming through them. Hours had passed with both of them studying the complicated ordeal that is the succession of power, and it was only when Sasuke got up and went to brew another pot of coffee that Kakashi had realised how much Sasuke was really doing for him. Kakashi had taken the offered steaming mug with a quiet “thanks”, but the look in his eyes had made it clear it was for much more than just the late breakfast.

Since Tsunade will resign with such a short notice, there are only a few weeks to arrange the succession and plan the inauguration. Kakashi is up to his ears in trying to familiarize himself with all the responsibilities of a Kage, and Sasuke finds out that he is more than happy to help him with memorizing all the etiquette Kakashi is supposed to be familiar with as the new Hokage. As an heir of an ancient clan, Sasuke was introduced to the complicated world of the traditional etiquette very early on, though he never cared about those skills after his family died. And it’s not that Kakashi hasn’t learned them himself when he was a boy, but he hasn’t had much use for them in his life as a shinobi, and after over twenty years he is a little rusty. So, with the memories of them both being a little hazy on that certain subject, it’s easier to practise all the intricate bows and protocols together.

So, for that week Sasuke forgets himself in the cosy world of the quiet sound of pages being turned, the bitter smell of coffee, and the joy of snickering at each other’s’ misspellings. More often than not, he is sitting on the wooden floor of Kakashi’s apartment with at least one dog napping next to him, skimming through documents and books, helping Kakashi to organize the transition of power.

At some point Kakashi, seated next to Sasuke with his hands decorated with papercuts, but his eyes full of strength and a sense of purpose Sasuke hasn’t seen in them for a long while, suggests that Sasuke should let him have a look at the plea. That ends up with Kakashi reading it there on the floor, with one dog sleeping on his lap and Sasuke peering over his shoulder, sitting so close to him that their sides touch every time Sasuke leans even slightly forward to see the tiny print better.

In the end, they spend that week cooped up in either Kakashi’s apartment or the house in the Uchiha district, helping each other with the legal documents. This day is no different from the others – Sasuke appeared behind Kakashi’s door first thing in the morning and let himself in with the key Kakashi tossed him after the second day. It’s the same key Sasuke borrowed when he stayed at Kakashi’s after his release from prison a year ago, but this time there is something different in all of this – there is no clear indication of when Kakashi will want the key back.

At first that kind of familiarity had felt alarming. Sasuke had almost said no, because taking the key had felt too much like an invitation for a relationship, and that was the exact thing Sasuke is denying from himself. But Kakashi had promptly moved on from the situation, not giving Sasuke any time to protest, and really, after a few days of Sasuke walking straight into Kakashi’s home without knocking, it doesn’t feel like such a big thing anymore.

Now Sasuke is slumped on the couch in the small apartment, reading a paragraph from his plea out loud for Kakashi who is cooking something in the kitchen. He is draped all over the couch, one leg sprawled on the arm rest, a bunch of papers spread on his lap, and his left hand occupied with scratching one of the dogs behind its ears. Sasuke is in the middle of the newly rewritten explanation about the political circumstances of the massacre when he realises that he is late for a Council meeting. His sentence is abruptly cut short with a few choice swear words, and then he is jumping up from the couch, accidentally scaring the poor ninja dog. Sasuke hisses curses as he runs to the front door, tugs his shoes on and disappears through the door with a quick shout at Kakashi.

Sasuke is already a good ten minutes late when he gets out of the door and into the rain. He can’t understand how he could have let this happen – this is the one meeting he shouldn’t be skipping. After Tsunade informed Kakashi about all the details concerning his inauguration, she had turned to Sasuke and reminded him of the next Council meeting. She told him that even though she had practically promised him a date for the assessment already, it still wasn’t entirely set in stone. The Council would agree on the day in that meeting – a formality, nothing more, Tsunade had said – but she wanted him to be there just in case. If the Council somehow managed to postpone the assessment from its intended date of a week before Kakashi’s inauguration, that would mean that Tsunade wouldn’t be the Hokage any longer and then there would be no telling how the Council members would decide on the matter. Even though Tsunade had said that Sasuke shouldn’t’ worry about it, he still wants to be there. The Council and especially the Elders are unpredictable and mischievous enough that they might just come up with some scheme to ruin this.

That means that now Sasuke is jogging through the village towards the Hokage tower, still swearing, because he totally forgot about the meeting today and he is not exactly looking the part of a respectable Council member – his loose day-off clothes are soggy and full of dog hair, and his wet hair is glued to his face. Sasuke isn’t sure whether him arriving late to the meeting like this will be any better than him not being there at all.

Pissed off at himself and the poor weather in general, Sasuke lengthens his steps and rushes forward, puddles sloshing under his feet. He can already picture the disapproving expressions on the older Council members faces. Not so subtle hints about his age and the irresponsible behaviour of the younger generation have been thrown at his direction the whole time Sasuke has been a part of the Council, and being tardy and sloppy like this won’t certainly make him look any better in the eyes of the Elders or the clan heads.

Sasuke is nearing the Hokage Tower when he feels it again.

He has the weirdest feeling that someone is watching him. It’s only a slight hunch, an instinct that makes Sasuke slow down a little just so that he can study his surrounding better.

There is a presence somewhere behind him. A concentration of chakra. Whoever it is there is obviously trying to hide their signature, because Sasuke can barely pick up the mass of energy. It’s only because of the hard rain that Sasuke notices it all – the streets around him are empty, all the villagers have gone inside to escape the awful weather, and that is why the faint chakra signature catches his attention.

Sasuke leaps on a nearby rooftop, bending his knees into a soft landing, and there is a moment of hesitation when he tries to decide which is more important – the meeting, or the fact that the spy is right there behind him, tailing him in the centre of the village. Sasuke knows that he will already get a good scolding from the Elders for being late, and it’s only going to get worse if he misses the whole session. And Sasuke has to think about his clan, this might be his sole chance to get justice for them, and he doesn’t want all of his efforts to go to waste because of a mishap with the dates.

But Tsunade said it was supposed to be only a formality. And a spy in Konoha is a threat to the whole village and everyone who lives there.

Sasuke spins around on his feet, turning to look at the direction where he felt the spy’s presence. He activates his sharingan and as soon as his eyes turn red, he can pinpoint the mass of chakra hiding between two buildings a little bit to his left.

The problem is that his time he gives himself away and the spy starts to run.

Sasuke dashes after them, the meeting all forgotten, and pushes as much chakra as he can into his feet. He storms forwards, jumping from the roof down to the street level, and lands hard on the stone pavement. But when Sasuke gets to alley where the intruder was hiding, the spy has already turned around the corner. Sasuke wastes no time and jumps into action again, speeding after the spy.

The rain hits hard against his face as he runs. The streets are muddy under his feet, and the few paved roads slippery, and half of his energy is spent on struggling to stay upright.

Sasuke pats down his pockets while rushing forward, trying to find anything that he could throw at the intruder, but he doesn’t really have any weapons with him – he had planned to spend the day burying himself into the world of legal texts and endless cups of tea and coffee, whichever Kakashi has left – and not running after the enemies of the village. Sasuke hadn’t been prepared for this. He hadn’t thought the spy was still on the loose. Yes, he had informed Tsunade about his last encounter with the intruder after his breakup with Naruto, but he hasn’t seen hide nor hair of the spy since, and considering it wasn’t exactly his problem, he has let it slip from his mind. Guess he shouldn’t have.

Sasuke follows the spy through Konoha, racing through the labyrinth of streets and alleys, making his way through tight corners and swift turns. He is close enough to the spy that every now and then he catches glimpses of a foot or an arm covered in black, probably belonging to a man, but he never really catches up the spy.

He doesn’t know how long he has been chasing the spy, but it must have been a quarter of an hour at least. By now his breath is loud and harsh in his ears and his legs are starting to feel heavy – he hasn’t had to run in full speed like this for a while – and Sasuke is getting frustrated because no matter what he does, the distance between himself and the spy isn’t getting any shorter, no, almost the opposite in fact.

Sasuke is far away from the Hokage Tower now, already on the entirely other side of the village. He doesn’t really have time for sightseeing and the rain makes it hard to see far anyway, but Sasuke thinks he recognises a few streets. A familiar apartment complex flashes on his right and he realises that he is close to Naruto’s tiny flat, and that Sakura’s childhood home is not that far away either. Futilely Sasuke searches for his teammates – there is nobody out on the streets as far as he can see and so nobody to help him to corner the spy.

Sasuke clenches his fists and pushes himself to an even faster speed. He can’t afford to slow down now.

He sees a flash of the spy’s back just before the intruder swirls around a corner – and was he really that far away from Sasuke already? The spy has so much head start on him that he really has to move now if he ever hopes to have any chance of catching the spy. The intruder might just hit the roofs if he can get away from Sasuke’s line of sight, and if that happens, he can easily lose Sasuke in the labyrinth of streets. Sasuke gathers his last strength and with a final dash he runs after the spy.

His pulse thunders in his ears as concentrates his chakra into his left hand because obviously the spy won’t go down without a fight, and even though Sasuke doesn’t have any weapons with him, it doesn’t mean that he has nothing to attack the intruder with. He turns around the corner and –

There is no one on the street in front of him.

No one is climbing the walls either.

There is no one there.

The spy got to the rooftops and that means he is as good as gone, vanished to the small alleys of Konoha, and Sasuke has no way of finding him anymore. In a last desperate attempt Sasuke tries to locate the spy’s chakra signature, but he is no sensor and there is only a faint flicker of chakra heading away from him before it disappears entirely.

“Fuck,” Sasuke whispers under his breath and leans his hands on his knees, letting the chidori die out. His breath is ragged and his throat is so dry it feels like it’s on fire. He closes his eyes, his chest heaving, and runs his hand through his hair which is wet from both the rain and sweat. He doesn’t want to know what time it is – he knows that he missed the Council meeting, there is no way he didn’t.

“Were you looking for someone?” someone says behind him in a deep, mocking voice, accompanied with the sound of lazy footsteps.

Sasuke didn’t need this. He swears in his mind for the thousandth time today, and turns around slowly, his brows furrowed.

He comes face to face with Sai.

“If I was, it wouldn’t still be any of your business,” Sasuke states, squinting his eyes. His teeth are gritted tightly together – he is painfully aware of how miserable and unprofessional he looks like right now. He didn’t need his replacement to see him like this – he doesn’t need Sai to tear the remains of his dignity to shreds, not when he has stolen everything else from Sasuke already.

“You’ll have to admit that a former criminal and traitor to the village running around like they are chasing someone seems quite suspicious. As a shinobi of the Leaf, I felt it my duty to come to see what the commotion was all about,” Sai explains with an unnatural smile creeping on his face. “I’m a member of the ANBU after all.”

“Cut the crap already,” Sasuke sneers, jutting his chin up. “We both know that you are not here because of some non-existent sense of duty.”

“If you insist. Were you going to say anything about the spy you saw or were you just planning to keep it to yourself? Hiding important information from the village officers is a crime, you know.”

“I’m not in the habit of blurting out crucial information to the first person I stumble upon,” Sasuke scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. “If I’m going to report to anyone, it’s to the Hokage and not some former ROOT member.”

“Well, as long as someone knows what you’re up to,” Sai smiles at him with closed eyes, and Sasuke honestly just wants to strangle that expression out of his face. How dare Sai talk to Sasuke like he is somehow better than him? If nothing else, Sasuke is a member of the Council and a clan head, and so superior to some pretentious ANBU lackey.

Though a clan head mauling a shinobi of his own village in the middle of the day might look bad too.

Sasuke solves the problem by turning his back to Sai and walking away.

Or, he tries to. He was already happily heading towards his home when his plan is dwarfed by Sai coming after him and falling into step with him at his side.

This guy doesn’t know how to take a hint.

“Did you have something to say or are you here just to annoy me?” Sasuke asks, throwing a quick glare at Sai’s direction while taking longer strides to make Sai fall behind, without any success.

“Actually, I do have a reason. I have a message for you,” Sai answers without missing a beat.

“A message?” Sasuke scoffs, quirking an eyebrow, because what is Sai playing at – a message, really?

Sai has the nerve to smirk at him.

“From Naruto.”

That makes Sasuke falter in his steps.

Naruto. Naruto with a bright smile and a loud voice. Naruto with an overly zealous attitude and no concept of personal space. Naruto with wide blue eyes and shaking shoulders, trying his best to hide his tears from Sasuke.

Sasuke hasn’t heard anything from Naruto since that awful morning – Naruto had fetched the rest of his things from Sasuke’s house soon after their breakup on a day when Sasuke had been away on a mission, and Sasuke had felt that it was enough of an indicator about how Naruto felt about him. Sasuke had deemed it best to leave Naruto in peace and hadn’t tried to contact him since.

But now Sasuke doesn’t know whether to tense up or sigh in relief – he can’t come up with a reason why Naruto would want anything to do with him after Sasuke hurt him so, unless it’s either to try to rekindle their friendship or end it altogether.

It’s clear that Sai has noticed Sasuke’s reaction – he doesn’t say anything, but his everlasting smile gets even wider and the way he tilts his head to the side is just so arrogant.

“What is it?” Sasuke asks in a tight voice. He doesn’t like showing any kind of weakness in front of his replacement, and the fact it’s Naruto they are talking about pleases him even less.

“Naruto didn’t feel like coming to tell you this personally, so he asked me to talk to you instead,” Sai says, his dark eyes full of spiteful mirth as he delivers the message. “He is leaving for the Sand on a diplomatic mission in two days, apparently he has some plans with the Kazekage about building orphanages and that sort of things. So, he wanted to let you know that he is going to be away from the village for a while.”

Sasuke swallows all the questions he has about this statement. He doesn’t want to talk about his best friend with this weirdo, he doesn’t want to show Sai how much he cares.

He doesn’t want to ask Sai whether Naruto hates him.

But still, this does give him hope – if Naruto wants to let him know that he’s going to the Sand, he is at least thinking of Sasuke.

“And he is finally starting to be okay, not that you care,” Sai adds with a light tone that doesn’t match his words.

Sasuke snaps his head around to stare at Sai.

“Of course I fucking care! What gives you the right – “

“It sure doesn’t look like it,” Sai quips back. “Do you have the faintest idea what you did to him? Naruto’s been in love with you ever since you were kids. You were everything he ever wanted. He gave you his heart when you came back – he was so happy, how didn’t you see it – and then you threw him away like he meant nothing.”

“It wasn’t like that – !“ Sasuke tries to answer because that is the farthest thing from truth, Naruto was never nothing to him, but Sai cuts him off.

“How was it then? Can you honestly say that you were committed to your relationship with him, that you tried everything to make it work? Can you, huh?”

And what can Sasuke say to that? The only honest answer is that no, he didn’t, that the whole time he wished Naruto was someone else, and now that Sasuke has got Kakashi back, he hasn’t remembered to spare a thought for Naruto.

Sasuke presses his lips together, and his nails dig into the skin of his palms. He refuses to answer to the question, and that seems to be the exact answer Sai wanted.

“Naruto’s been so broken for weeks, but it hasn’t been any of your concern, has it? You haven’t had to be there to help him to keep himself together.”

“If you have a problem with me, just say it to my face instead of guilt-trip me by using Naruto.”

“I do have a problem with you. I was right the whole time, you don’t deserve them. When you turned Sakura down, I already thought that you were no good, but I never thought that you would do this to Naruto,” Sai says, and the fact that there is really no emotion on his face makes him just so much more frightening.

“I didn’t mean to do that to him, for fuck’s sake. Do you honestly think that I meant to hurt them?” Sasuke growls, but there is a hint of desperation in his voice, because what if that’s what they think of him too, Naruto and Sakura? That he meant to hurt them.

“Naruto was far too good for you. I don’t understand how he has the heart to care about you even after all this,” Sai spits and now Sasuke can see the ugly emotions in his eyes. “Now you have broken his heart, just like you broke Sakura’s. Is Kakashi-san next in line or is there some other reason you spend so much time with him?”

“Shut up,” Sasuke growls, because there are some lines that shouldn’t be crossed and Sai just waltzed over one. “Shut your mouth or I will shut it for you.”

“A touchy subject, is it?” Sai asks with a grin. “Does it mean that I’m right?”

“Go to hell.”

“Well, I don’t want to be staring at your face either, so I’ll do us both a favour and leave you to your business. But I want you to know that you have caused nothing but suffering to your team ever since you came back. Oh wait, no, ever since you _left_ ,” Sai says, using all the height he has over Sasuke to look down at him. “So, I’ll throw your words back at you. _Stay away from Team 7_.”

And then Sai is marching away from Sasuke and denying him the chance to say anything back, though Sasuke wouldn’t have had any words left. Sai won this round and they both know it.

Sasuke’s attempt of losing Sai lead them to the centre of the village and now Sasuke watches as Sai walks towards the market in front of them, crowded with people hiding under a sea of umbrellas. To make matter even worse, one of the villagers turns around when Sai gets closer, and Sasuke recognises Sakura even from this far away.

She is holding a pink umbrella, decorated with flower patterns, and her clothes have stayed dry despite the heavy rain. She greets Sai with a smile on her face and lifts her umbrella to let her teammate under its cover.

Sakura looks happy. Her hair has got longer, and she has light circles under her eyes, probably because of a night shift at the hospital, but despite that fact she seems genuinely happy as she playfully punches Sai’s shoulder and starts to whine about his black shirt being all wet and sticky.

Then she glances at something over Sai’s shoulder, her gaze moving past the street where Sasuke is, but she doesn’t notice him.

Sasuke hadn’t even realised how awful it feels to have your friend look at you only for them not to see you.

It’s probably because of the distance and the rain that Sakura doesn’t notice him, but Sasuke can’t help but think that before New Year’s Eve she would have picked him out of any crowd and fought her way to come talk to him, telling him all about her day. He would have hummed at her and asked her something back, and she would have smiled at him and taken his arm and dragged him to the training grounds, all the while joking about something Naruto had done.

Now it’s Sai who takes Sakura’s grocery bags from her as Sakura giggles at something he said.

And Sasuke still doesn’t know what he would have said to her if she had come to talk to him.

 

o0o

 

With no hope of making it to the Council meeting anymore, Sasuke heads home. The rain has finally stopped, and strong winds have started to howl between the buildings of the village.

By the time Sasuke is letting himself inside to his house, he is cold in his still-wet clothes. Frustrated, he hits the shower and changes into something warmer afterwards, planning to stop by at Kakashi’s since they weren’t finished for the day before Sasuke had to dash out of the apartment.

He is wandering away from his bedroom, drying his damp hair with a towel, when there is a knock at the door.

Sasuke furrows his brows. He wasn’t expecting anybody.

He heads to the door, his steps hesitant, and when he opens it, he finds an ANBU standing on his porch. Sasuke’s first instinct would be to duck and attack right after, but instead of going on the offensive, the ninja behind the badger mask simply waits there patiently, their arms in clear sight and all their weapons sheathed.

“What is it?” Sasuke asks, managing to keep his voice level, though the disapproving look doesn’t leave his face – that fact that his first thought after seeing a shinobi behind the door of his own home in his own village is to grab his weapons isn’t pleasant.

Remaining silent, the masked shinobi hands Sasuke a scroll with the seal of Konoha on top of it. Confused but not wanting to let anything on, Sasuke takes the scroll and twirls it in his hand as he nods at the ANBU. Badger bows at him, Sasuke blinks, and then the ANBU is gone.

Sasuke closes the door behind himself, letting it shut loudly, and opens the scroll.

The village is offering him a position in the ANBU forces.

To Sasuke, the ANBU is his father's proud smile at Itachi when his brother joined the squad. It’s the slight flash of nervousness that appeared on his mother's face every time her eldest child left the house dressed in black and white. It’s the red-striped wolf mask staring at him in a snowy forest. The ANBU is a swirl of red on his brother's shoulder and the tattoo Sasuke remembers tracing on his teacher's skin.

Sasuke takes a deep breath. Being asked to join the ANBU is one of the highest acknowledgements a village can give to its shinobis for their skills, and still there's a shy five-year-old buried deeply inside Sasuke that wonders if his parents would be as proud of him as they were of Itachi.

He has no illusions of the work the ANBUs do. He has heard enough from Kakashi to know it's not pretty or admirable what they do. Being a part of the not-so-secret assassination squad of the village means hunting people down and taking their lives from the shadows without a hint of honour.

The childish part of Sasuke excitedly speculates which animal will be on his mask.

He really hopes it's not a snake.

It says there on the scroll that he is expected to answer in a couple of weeks – if Sasuke accepts the job, he would join the forces about the same time Kakashi takes over as the Hokage. He is also told that he is not allowed tell anyone about the offer and that the only people allowed to know his identity as an ANBU are the Hokage and the members of his future squad.

”Fuck it,” Sasuke mutters to himself, marches out of the house and heads towards Kakashi’s place. Kakashi is going to be the next Hokage, he is going to know about this anyway, and Sasuke needs another opinion.

He takes a page out of Kakashi's book and lets himself in through the kitchen window, just trying to piss off the older man for fun. It doesn't really succeed – Kakashi, lying on the couch with a book, takes a slow look at him when Sasuke gets to the living room, and waves his hand lazily as a greeting.

”Did you bring food? The fridge is empty and I don't want to go grocery shopping,” he whines and turns a page.

”No,” Sasuke answers, almost pouting at the lack of reaction. He throws the scroll at Kakashi who catches it without even removing his gaze from the dirty novel. ”I brought this.”

Kakashi opens the scroll and eyes it through swiftly, his expression getting more and more serious with each line.

”You do know that you weren't supposed to show this to anyone, right? It says it right here,” he says, pointing out the exact words from the text with his finger, mostly to buy himself time.

”It doesn't matter in a few weeks when you're the Hokage. And I thought that maybe you had something to do with it.”

”Assigning my already traumatized student to the notorious assassination squad I have first-hand experience of? I might have done many things wrong with you, but not this.”

Kakashi sits up on the couch and makes room for Sasuke who lands himself right next to Kakashi and immediately gets one dog into his arms. Sasuke pets the large animal on his lap while he watches Kakashi read through the scroll again. The man's rumpled shirt and messy hair conflict with the frown on his bare face.

“Was it Tsunade then? If this really isn’t your doing,” Sasuke asks, brushing a lock of his hair out of his eyes.

“Maybe. Or it might have been the Elders,” Kakashi answers, not looking up from the scroll as he skims through it.

“Why would they ever recommend me for the ANBU? Or for anything for that matter.”

Now Kakashi glances at him.

“The members of the ANBU are the ones most likely to die in the line of duty. The Elders are not recommending you for anything, they are trying to get rid of you.”

“So this is a sham?”

“No, just a really elaborate way of trying to get you killed. Or then it’s Tsunade, I don’t know,” Kakashi sighs and hand the scroll back to Sasuke. “All I can say for sure that it wasn’t me.”

“Well, with all the people having a problem with me, this isn’t really surprising,” Sasuke breathes and closes his eyes, leaning against the backrest.

He hears Kakashi shift his weight.

“Did something happen?” Kakashi asks after a pause.

“I think I saw our spy again. I missed the Council meeting because I ran after him,” Sasuke admits, happy not to be looking at Kakashi right now. “He got away.”

“He should have been captured by now,” Kakashi says in a thoughtful voice, and when Sasuke opens his eyes to look at him, his mouth is a thin line. “I’ll tell Tsunade about this and have her assign more people to search for that guy. But are you alright?”

“Yeah,” is Sasuke’s short, clipped answer, because he has to stop himself from blurting out everything about Sai. He wants to tell Kakashi about it, he really does, but just when he is opening his mouth to let everything out, all he can hear is Sai’s cold voice telling him that he doesn’t deserve Team 7.

Sasuke steals a look at Kakashi who is watching him back, sitting a bit too close to Sasuke for it to be really appropriate. The neckline of his shirt is slightly askew, and he has a smudge of ink on his right thumb from earlier today. In that moment Sasuke agrees whole-heartedly with Sai – he doesn’t deserve this man. And somehow telling Kakashi about what Sai said would make all the accusations real, and Sasuke wonders if this is Sai’s way of stealing Kakashi from him just like he stole Naruto and Sakura.

“Good,” Kakashi smiles and relaxes his shoulders. “But about the ANBU. I won't lie to you, it's not easy. Being in the squad changes you and there are dangers in that. You might start to depend on the anonymity of the mask too much – don't look at me like that – and if that happens, you’ll lose the person you have been your whole life. You’ll start to see people as just targets,” Kakashi explains and by now Sasuke knows him enough to understand that he is speaking from experience. ”They say it's an honour and of course it is. But you’ll have to be careful. I was too young and depressed when I was made to join, and it drove me into a very dark place. I don't want that to happen to you.”

”I have had my dark places.”

”I know, I have seen them.”

And once again Sasuke is reminded of how much of himself he has revealed to this man. A pulse of shame and anger and embarrassment curls his fingers into fists. A wounded pride tastes metallic in his mouth. It takes a few seconds of glaring at Kakashi before he realises that Kakashi didn't even meant it as an insult but instead as a way to tell Sasuke that he _understands,_ and it's one of those rare moments when Sasuke curses the fiery and prideful Uchiha blood in him that takes insult in everything.

“Hn,” Sasuke hums, not really knowing what he should say. He uncurls his hands and tangles his fingers back into the dog’s fur. He isn’t still sure what he wants to do about the offer.

“But that’s not all your worried about, is it?” Kakashi asks, letting his expression soften. He lets Sasuke take his time to answer.

“Being an ANBU means swearing loyalty to the village,” Sasuke states even though Kakashi is fully aware of this. He studies the red swirl on Kakashi’s left shoulder, visible now that he doesn’t have his normal jounin gear on. It might have been an easy decision for Kakashi at the time to pledge his loyalty to Konoha, but it isn’t the same for Sasuke.

Konoha is still responsible for the massacre of his clan. Konoha ruined Itachi’s life by forcing him to make an impossible choice at thirteen. Konoha is the reason one of its district is a ghost town. It’s all because of the village that Sasuke’s mother and father are dead.

Sasuke doesn’t have to explain his problem any further.

“And how could you do that after everything that has happened,” Kakashi sighs and leans over to pet the dog on Sasuke’s lap too. He takes a while to continue, and there is this weird expression on his face when he looks up at Sasuke again, as if he is disappointed at himself for what he is about to say. “But if that’s the only problem, you could always regard it as a formality, empty words that mean nothing. Or, I don’t know, you could think of your friends as your home and so as your village.”

“It still wouldn’t feel right.”

“I know,” Kakashi says with a quiet voice. “Just think about it. And you don’t have to take the job if you don’t want to, nobody’s forcing you.”

With a long sigh Sasuke looks at his future Hokage.

”But do you think I could do it?”

”Yes,” Kakashi answers immediately, not hesitating for a second. ”Yes, as long as you don't shut people out. You’ll have to talk to someone or you’ll go crazy before you even notice it.”

”Well, that's too late then,” Sasuke grins and is glad to notice that it earns him a chuckle.

He finds his grin turning into an honest smile when Kakashi nudges him into his side and somehow it feels like this would be the moment for ”I'm proud of you” if Kakashi was prone to such open declarations of affection.

And even if Kakashi doesn’t say the words, they warm Sasuke all the same. 


	22. Tension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Considering that this was originally supposed to be a fun and lighthearted chapter, it made me cry surprisingly many times. Also, this monster is almost as long as the first chapter, so enjoy!
> 
> A big thank you to [clayrlibrarian](http://archiveofourown.org/users/clayrlibrarian) for all the ideas for this chapter. You'll know which parts are yours.

 

_The 4th of May, the fifth year of peace  
Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

Sasuke is wandering in the Hokage Tower again – the idiots in the management office still keep sending him notes about the district even though he has told them a million times already that he doesn’t need electricity or running water for the empty houses. He has no choice but to haul the bills to the Tower every time it happens and make an official complaint. Sasuke was blessed with another bunch of the notes today, and he decided to deal with them first in the morning.

He’s heading back home already, he has had his share of yelling at the office staff for the day, when somebody calls after him.

“Hey kid, come here for a second.”

When Sasuke turns around towards the voice, he finds Tsunade standing at the doorway of her office, holding the door open as she beckons him closer. She has only a little over a week or so left as the Hokage and the fact shows on her face – she seems both happier and busier than Sasuke has ever seen her. Her hair has escaped from her ponytails, a few long strands fall over her face, and there is a faint red mark on her left cheek like she has been leaning her head on her hand for a long time. But despite the general good mood around her, right now her lips are pursed tightly together and her gaze on him is firm.

Something cold and heavy flips in Sasuke’s stomach – this has to be about the Council meeting he missed the day before yesterday. Or about his plea. Or both.

Swallowing, Sasuke nods and follows Tsunade with his shoulders stiff.

The large windows of the office reveal a view of a cloudy sky over the village. The room itself is strangely empty already – Sasuke is used to seeing the office packed with tall towers of paper and piles of half-used ink bottles, with shinobis running in and out through the doors. Tsunade has started to pack her things, preparing the office for her successor, and the room is so bare that the sound of Sasuke’s footsteps echoes in the room.

Tsunade walks to her chair behind the massive desk and sits down.

“I already know why you weren’t in that meeting – Kakashi stopped by yesterday and told me about the spy. I already sent an additional squad of jounins to look for him,” she says, her voice steady and her bearing professional. Then she pinches the bridge of her nose and glares up at Sasuke. “Even during my final weeks as the Hokage you still have the audacity to arrange more work for me.”

“I aim to please,” Sasuke chuckles as he comes to stand in front of her, one hand resting on his hip.

“And cheeky on top of all that. Boy, am I glad to let Kakashi deal with you from now on,” Tsunade mutters to herself. She runs a hand through her already messed up hair. “But back to why I needed to talk with you.”

Sasuke shifts his weight from one foot to another.

“It’s about the Council meeting, isn’t it?”

“It is, and I’m sure that you know what I’m going to say,” she states and takes a deep breath. “The Council agreed to postpone the assessment of your plea. I’m sorry.”

“How much?” Sasuke asks, closing his eyes and clenching his hands into fists. His nails scrape the skin of his palms, and he digs them even deeper. The sharp pain distracts him from his rage. Sasuke knew that this would happen, nothing ever goes like he wants it to, but that knowledge doesn’t make this any easier.

“A week,” Tsunade admits, and her voice is bitter and apologetic at the same time. “The Elders knew exactly what they were doing.”

A week from when then the assessment was originally supposed to be. By then Kakashi is already the Hokage, and Sasuke loses all the advantage he might have had with Tsunade being familiar with the Council.

“I should have been there,” Sasuke hisses, not at her, but more to himself. He has grown soft – a year ago he wouldn’t have gone after the spy, he wouldn’t have risked his chance of getting justice for his family. Of course the Elders would pull a stunt like this – Sasuke wouldn’t be that surprised if the Elders were still in league with Danzou and the old councillor had sent his spy to distract Sasuke to keep him from the meeting. It’s far-fetched, but this far into his mess of a life he is willing to believe anything.

Tsunade shakes her head at him and sighs.

“You couldn’t have stopped it either. They all ganged up on me. I guess that the Elders have been talking to the clan heads behind my back – all of them agreed to the Elders’ proposition about moving the date,” she huffs, furrowing her brows. “It doesn’t matter anymore, they postponed the session and we have to deal with the consequences.”

Sasuke knew from the moment he started preparing the plea that the Council would be against it. And to be honest, he never even thought that the village would agree to reveal the truth about the Uchiha clan’s fate. Most of the time he just needed something to do, he couldn’t just go on with his life while his family was still without justice and Danzou was at large, free and alive.

But to have somebody deliberately sabotage his attempt of bringing the truth to light still makes his blood boil.

“I’m truly sorry about this,” Tsunade says, her eyes sincere and voice gentler than usual.

“You know, I’m not even surprised,” Sasuke scoffs. “I would have been amazed if the Elders would have let me do this in peace. And it’s not like I’m even a threat to them – I doubt that the Council would ever have agreed to reveal the truth anyway, and still they deemed it necessary to ruin my only chance.”

“It’s not all lost. You’ll still get to present your plea to the Council, and you’d better do it with your head held high and show them what you are made of. It’s the goddamn time somebody marches in front of the Council and gives them a good show.” Tsunade tries to smile at him.

Sasuke has clenched his jaw shut so tightly that he has to make a conscious effort to relax it.

“What difference does it make if they are going to reject it anyway?”

Tsunade lays her manicured hands on the table, and there is something in that movement that makes Sasuke think of his mother.

“I know that you won’t forgive yourself if you give up now, that it will always bother you if you don’t try your best for your clan. Because that is who you are,” Tsunade tells him, demanding all his attention. Her voice is not loud, instead it’s quiet enough that Sasuke has to focus on her words to hear them and that is the whole purpose of it.

There’s a rare moment of hesitation as Tsunade just looks at Sasuke for a few seconds, her breath even and steady. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and then she opens them again.

“But what I’m really trying to say is that if you truly feel that you don’t want to do this anymore, nobody will hold it against you. Because despite how you feel about, it would bring you no shame if you let go now. And I know that you don’t care what I think of it, but as far as I’m concerned, you have done enough. You have done so much for your clan, you have fought for them as long as I have known you. You have dedicated your life for them and it’s so much more than your family would ever have asked of you,” she says, her eyes never leaving his, and it feels like she breaks him with every word. “You have done enough.”

And with Tsunade looking at him like his mother used to, Sasuke almost breaks down crying. Never in his life has anybody told him that what he has done is good enough, that he doesn’t have try to be more or better than he is. That he is enough. Sasuke has carried the heavy burden of his clan on his shoulders for so long that he can barely remember the days without it, and to be honest, he has never believed that he will see the day when his family is at peace. And now Tsunade tells him that he has already made it up for his clan for not dying alongside them.

Sasuke has to turn away from facing Tsunade and bite his lip so hard it hurts to keep himself together. He tries to swallow the lump in his throat, and even though he keeps blinking to stop the tears, it takes him a while before he trusts himself again.

Tsunade gives him his time, but Sasuke isn’t sure whether she even realises what she just did for him.

But in the end, he starts to feel embarrassed and the silence between them is getting awkward. It takes a couple of false starts before Sasuke gets his voice under control.

“Well, since I spent the whole spring on the proposition, I guess I should see it to the end,” he mutters, his voice raspy, and he is still way out of his element to really address what Tsunade just said. She might have given him the chance to have his life back to himself, but he doesn’t think he is quite ready for that yet.

Maybe it’s time he demands justice for his clan in front of an audience once again.

“And if you have the will for it, you can always try again if it doesn’t work out this time,” Tsunade adds, unusually quiet for her, though she is smiling.

“Maybe,” Sasuke shrugs, not ready to even think about the future.

“And think positively. Since the Elders moved your assessment, that means that you got yourself another week to prepare. With the old schedule, the big day would have been in less than a week.”

“Well, that additional week is spent on Kakashi’s inauguration and all the hassle that comes with him taking over the office, so I don’t think that much time is left for me.”

“Ah, he got you tricked into helping him, didn’t he? He’s clever when he wants to be,” Tsunade smirks. “Just watch out for yourself, you’ll soon end up chasing him around the village when he tries to avoid all the paperwork.”

“Like Shizune does with you?” Sasuke quips, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Don’t get cocky with me, brat,” Tsunade huffs, and all of the sudden they are back to their old dynamics. “Maybe Kakashi finds it charming, but I don’t.”

And with her scoffing at him like that, casually teasing him about Kakashi, Sasuke has this weird moment when he really wants to ask her if they really are that obvious. But he isn’t even in a relationship with Kakashi. But Tsunade saw them that morning a week ago so she isn’t exactly the best candidate to answer that question. But it still makes Sasuke wonder if the whole village knows by now – at least Sai had no problem accusing him of trying to break Kakashi’s heart.

But before he can get any further with that train of thought, Tsunade starts tormenting him again, because it’s apparently her new favourite hobby.

“So, have you talked with Naruto and Sakura yet?” she asks while bending down to fish some documents from her desk drawers. “It’s time that my strongest team gets themselves back together, you three are starting to become a nuisance.”

Sasuke refuses to answer anything to that and instead turns his gaze away from Tsunade.

When Tsunade realises that the silence has continued for too long, she naps herself up from behind the desk and glares daggers at Sasuke.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You mean that you let Naruto leave without even trying to talk to him?”

“I didn’t hear about him going until at the last minute,” Sasuke growls back. “And I didn’t think he would have wanted me there.”

Tsunade groans and covers her eyes with her hand. She drags the hand down her face and looks at him through her fingers. She is so fed up with him that she takes a moment to pointedly roll her eyes at him.

“How dumb can you be? If he let you know that he was leaving, what do you think it meant but that he wanted you to be there to see him off?”

“Sai said that Naruto was too hurt to want anything to do with me – “

“Idiot!” she growls and hurls a pen at his direction. “Sai has never been good with understanding emotions, his or others’. And he is unsure about his position in Team 7 because it was your team first and Naruto and Sakura talked about nothing but you during the years you were gone,” she rants, just getting started as Sasuke straightens himself from bending down to avoid the flying pen. “Don’t you think that Sai felt a little left out when you came back and his teammates were all over you? They were his first friends and he spent more time with them than you ever got to and still Naruto and Sakura seem to choose you over him every time. Naturally he is jealous.”

Sasuke has the feeling that this will end up with him getting his ass handed to him on a silver platter.

“And because he is bad at handling his own emotions, he gets overly-protective of his teammates. When they get hurt, he slashes out. It was better for him when you were gone, and maybe he thinks Naruto and Sakura too were better off when you weren’t there. Sure, they missed you, but right now they are both going through a heartbreak and neither of them knows how to be subtle about it. Sai doesn’t think what it would mean to Naruto and Sakura if they knew that you two are fighting. He’s hurting because his friends are hurting, and he is taking it out on you.”

Sasuke feels like he is five again and caught red-handed doing something very stupid he has been told not to do.

“So of course he tells you that Naruto doesn’t want to see you,” Tsunade finishes with a triumphant scoff. “And I thought that you had a brain in that pretty head of yours.”

Sasuke crunches up his nose in distaste and crosses his arms over his chest. He doesn’t like being proven wrong.

“Naruto’s gone so your rant is a little late.”

“Sakura’s still there, you imbecile. Go talk to her, make an effort. And when Naruto comes back, you better be there among the first ones to welcome him back. It’s no use just sitting there and sulking by yourself, relationships don’t work that way. So you broke your team, fine, it’s done and there is no crying about it. Now go fix it.”

“Is this one of those ‘do as I say, not as I do’ things?”

Tsunade throws a scroll at him.

“Get out of my office, you little shit.”

“It won’t be your office that much longer,” Sasuke grins and dances out of the way.

This time Tsunade tosses a heavy book at his way and that might be his cue to leave.

Sasuke is half way through the door, still smirking to himself, when Tsunade calls him back with an exasperated tone.

“Wait, I still have something to tell you and I can’t be bothered to hunt you down again.”

Sasuke rolls his eyes, closes the door and walks back to her desk.

“I have a mission for you,” Tsunade says and searches through her piles of paper for something. She yanks a file from the bottom of one pile and flips it open on the desk in front of Sasuke.

“I thought that you weren’t giving me any,” Sasuke says but steps forward to study the mission file.

“Well, I am now. So shut up and listen. An escort mission to the border of the Land of Fire. Get the client there and come back, simple. Two days to travel there and one day for the journey home.”

“When? Tomorrow?”

“Next week. You’ll be back just on time before Kakashi’s inauguration, so you can deal with him freaking out and I don’t have to.”

Sasuke takes the file into his arms, flipping through the pages to look at all the information, and then turns it back on the first page. He lifts his gaze to look at Tsunade.

“Why tell me now if it’s only next week? This sounds like a completely ordinary routine mission.”

“Don’t whine or I won’t give you the mission.”

“No, seriously, what’s up with this? You don’t usually give me a heads-up this early and on top of that I seem over-qualified for this – “

“I said, don’t whine or I’ll give it to someone else and refuse to give you any missions as long as I’m the Hokage.”

“Which isn’t long,” Sasuke deadpans and takes another look at the file. “Hey, wait, if it’s next week, it means that I’ll be missing another Council meeting. You must have noticed that. I can’t be absent for a second time or the Elders might just find a way to kick me out.” 

“Well, you’ll just have to skip it now because I’m telling you to. And how much damage can the Council do by themselves anymore? They already postponed your assessment, it doesn’t matter if they do it again. They can do cartwheels by themselves for all I care.”

“You’re hiding something,” Sasuke states and narrows his eyes at Tsunade. “What is it? What is it about this mission that makes you want me to take it so badly?”

“As I already said, I will give it to someone else if you don’t shut up. Give it back if you don’t want it.”

“No,” Sasuke grunts back and holds the file tighter against his chest, his arms wrapped around it.

Tsunade smirks at him, tilting her head slightly.

“Next week it is then.”

Sasuke is not pleased. What is with this village and nobody telling him anything? He keeps getting strange job offers and missions and – and that makes him think of something he talked with Kakashi yesterday.

“Did you arrange that ANBU position for me?” he asks out of the blue, blurting out the question just like that.

“What ANBU position?” Tsunade asks, looking genuinely confused as she looks up at him with furrowed brows.

“I got a message last night. I’ve been offered a job in the ANBU forces. I thought that maybe it was you.”

“No, I don’t know anything about that,” she answers, quirking her brows even further. “Did you ask Kakashi whether it was him?”

“He said that he had nothing to do with it.”

“That leaves the Council. Or to be more precise, the Elders. They must be the ones behind this if it’s neither Kakashi or me,” she wonders out loud. “But why? They don’t exactly like you.”

“Kakashi thought that maybe they hope I die on a mission. It’s not that uncommon for ANBUs to go like that.”

“Well, that’s awfully complicated,” Tsunade huffs and flicks her wrist dismissively. “If I wanted you dead, I would just have you assassinated, and cover it up somehow, and definitely not put you in the assassination squad itself and hope that you mess up so badly you end up dead.”

“Maybe their age is finally showing?” Sasuke offers, chuckling, because he has nothing better to suggest.

“I hope so.”

 

o0o

 

_The 11th of May, the fifth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

The infamous mission to the borders of the Fire Country is just as boring and simple as Tsunade promised it would be. The client is some old civilian woman afraid of bandits that are presumably after her little savings which she has tucked safely in her socks and skirts. And as far as Sasuke is concerned, this should be a C-rank mission, way below his standards and paygrade – he was just asked to join the ANBU, for fuck’s sake.

The woman is excited to tell him about her cats and nosy neighbours and herd of grandchildren and since he can’t very well leave on her own, Sasuke is forced to listen to the story of her second favourite cat getting stuck into a tree at least twice, and would he like a mint pastille? No, he doesn’t, thank you, for the tenth time.

When Sasuke has spent two days with the old woman and escorted her to her village and all the way to her front door, he is certain of the fact that there is nothing in this mission that required his skills or rank. This has to be a diversion, a distraction, a way to get him out of the village or the Council meeting. Or both. Tsunade is sneaky enough to do something like that.

He just can’t figure out why.

Even though Sasuke tried to hurry the woman along as fast as he could, it still took them almost three days to get to her small town – she had a bad leg and she was very sorry about it and could he please slow down a little – and by the time Sasuke can start heading back towards Konoha, he already knows that he has to hurry if he wants to get home before Kakashi’s inauguration.

It’s already late in the evening when Sasuke finally sees the village gates. His sweaty hair is stuck to his neck and his muscles are sore from rushing a day’s journey into a half. He gets to his house in the quiet Uchiha district and hits the shower and then ventures to the kitchen. Sasuke is so ready to fall into bed – with Kakashi’s inauguration being tomorrow the day is going to be long and he wants to be well-rested for all the chaos that will surely ensue.

He is in the middle of scavenging through his fridge when he notices a file on the kitchen counter and swears. Sasuke was supposed to take that to Kakashi before he left for his mission, and three days later it’s still there where he left it. It contains some paperwork about the succession – the file had slipped between all the documents Sasuke had brought home from Kakashi’s apartment.

Kakashi probably needs it.

Tapping his fingers against the counter and taking a deep breath through his nose, Sasuke weighs his options. He doesn’t want to leave his house again when he just got himself comfortable, but Kakashi will be so busy tomorrow that Sasuke won’t have any chance to give it to him then. Sasuke rests his forehead against the kitchen cabinet and swears again.

He’ll take the file and come right back.

Sasuke grabs his keys, both to this house and to Kakashi’s apartment, and heads for the door. At least he can congratulate Kakashi in advance. The newly appointed Hokage will be dragged through all sorts of ceremonies with politicians visiting from all over the Fire Country and beyond – that’s what the long era of peace has done, brought the Shinobi Countries together to have parties – that any former students won’t probably get to see him apart from a few flashes from afar during the inauguration itself. There is some sort of a formal evening party afterwards to which Sasuke is invited as a clan head and a member of the Council, but he doesn’t count on his luck. Kakashi will be occupied with all the guests and ceremonies, and though Sasuke has been by his side the whole time they have planned the succession, Sasuke knows that tomorrow he will be on the sidelines.

And it doesn’t look good if a former traitor and criminal is seen anywhere near the new Hokage, this much has been explained to him to his face in the rare Council meetings Sasuke has managed to get himself into.

Sasuke crosses the village in a fast pace, the buildings and streets just a blur underneath him as he leaps from a rooftop from a rooftop. It’s late enough for there to be only a tiny speckle of light in the west where the sun is setting. It will be a beautiful day tomorrow.

He lands in front of the familiar building and jogs up the stairs. Three floors and thirty steps. There is a dent on the eleventh step and the twenty-seventh step will screech under his weight, Sasuke knows by now.

Sasuke lets himself into the tiny apartment. It’s dark in the hallway, and right after noting that fact he stumbles over some shoes that have been forgotten all over the floor. The whole place is silent apart from his muttered curses at the mess and the lights haven’t been turned on in any other room either as far as Sasuke can see.

It’s not that often that Sasuke gets to be alone in here, and it almost feels like he is intruding when he sneaks around the place. Even though he has been here many times with Kakashi, spent a night too so many times he has lost count already, he still feels uncomfortable. Sasuke doesn’t switch on the lights, because sneaking in the dark to drop off the file and getting out right after feels less intrusive than lighting up the whole apartment and making his presence clear to the neighbours.

Sasuke wonders where Kakashi is – apart from panicking about tomorrow and fleeing to the village to get himself wasted, Sasuke can’t come up with a reason for Kakashi to leave his home tonight and at this hour. Furrowing his brow, Sasuke jumps over the shoes and makes his way to the small living room, planning to toss the file on the coffee table and head out.

The room is dark even though there is the dim light of the moon shining through the windows, but Sasuke knows when to sidestep to avoid hitting the couch. He manoeuvres his way to the room and places the file on the table in front of the couch.

He turns around to head back to the door and almost gets a heart attack when he spots Kakashi lying on the couch. Sasuke stops in his tracks, frozen on his place next to the couch as he studies the sight in front him. Kakashi, in only a pair of loose pants he usually wears to bed, seems to be sleeping – his eyes are closed and his chest raises and falls in a rhythm so slow Sasuke barely notices it.

All other thoughts suddenly forgotten, Sasuke steps closer. He can’t come up with a good reason for why he is doing this because _this is stupid, he should stop this and back off and leave and certainly not extent a hand to touch_ – but he can’t stop himself. Soon Sasuke is standing only inches away from Kakashi, his hand hovering awkwardly between their bodies, torn between touching the soft skin covered in scars, and yanking his fingers away and bolting out of the door before he does something he will regret.

Kakashi got into his head after that night in the Land of Snow and never really left. Sasuke has spent the last year trying to forget the confusion and uncertainty that night brought, because the hazy feelings he developed then threw him off his feet. And just when he had decided that his weakness might be just misplaced affection caused only by the closeness they had shared – something Sasuke had been starving for – he had really got to know Kakashi.

Sasuke’s feelings are no longer a mess.

Or they wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for the fact that he has ruined every single relationship he has had before this. That is the reason why Sasuke keeps pulling back and turning away even when they both know that there is something between them. They both know it, and there is no denying it, they have been joking about it back and forth for ages now. And even though Kakashi doesn’t know why Sasuke is holding himself back, he respects Sasuke’s boundaries – he has waited and given Sasuke his time and distance.

And Sasuke, as strong as his fear of losing Kakashi is, is wavering. There were so many moments during the last few weeks when they were sitting close to each other, too comfortable to care, and laughing at something utterly stupid and it would have been so easy to just reach over and –

His fingers hover Kakashi’s stomach, just far enough not to touch and Sasuke bites into his lower lip. It’s not his place to touch when Kakashi isn’t awake, he reminders himself and curls his fingers back into fist, slowly pulling his hand away.

Sasuke glances up at Kakashi’s face to make sure he is still sleeping and finds Kakashi looking back at him.

With his hand frozen in place, Sasuke stares at Kakashi, his head empty of anything to say to justify this. It’s no use to try to hide what he was about to do.

Kakashi’s face is just as unreadable as if he had his mask on as he studies Sasuke. Sasuke wonders how long Kakashi has been awake. He expects tense questions or teasing or anything to indicate what Kakashi is thinking about, but there is nothing.

Sasuke returns his gaze to his hand hovering between them. Slowly he uncurls his fist, the tips of his fingers just barely touching the warm skin. He waits for Kakashi to grab his hand or move away, but nothing comes. Then, knowing that he has the permission to do his, he traces over the shapes of the man’s body as he moves his hand from Kakashi’s stomach over his chest all the way to his neck, lingering on his sharp collarbones.

When he looks up back at Kakashi, the man is still studying him, eyes dark and hooded. Kakashi raises his hand with slow, careful movements to cup Sasuke’s, gently intertwining their fingers and pulling Sasuke forwards. Sasuke goes along with it, stepping closer until his knees hit the couch, and when Kakashi gives him a firmer yank, Sasuke half-lands himself on the couch, one knee pressed against Kakashi’s side and his other leg on the floor to balance himself. He bends over Kakashi who is still lying down, and his dark hair cascades to frame his face like a curtain as he looks down at Kakashi. Sasuke places his free hand on the arm rest near Kakashi’s head, and he feels his heart drumming in his chest as he leans down. There is a warm hand on his hip, fingers pressing against his skin under the hem of his shirt. Kakashi’s eyes never leave his, his gaze is resting heavy on Sasuke, and Kakashi’s hands are there to steady him as Sasuke bends down towards him.

There’s is a loud _crash_ outside.

They both tense at the sound, holding their breaths, eyes locked on each other as they try to grasp what caused the sound. Kakashi’s brow furrows and his grip on Sasuke’s hand tightens.

Sasuke steadies himself on their joined hands and looks up at the window.

He narrows his eyes. It’s as if there had been a movement outside, a flash of something dark, but he can’t be sure. But they are several floors up. Though that doesn’t mean anything in a ninja village and that fact makes Sasuke worried. There is a spy in the village and it’s not the first time he has been followed.

“Did you see something?” Kakashi asks, his voice so quiet Sasuke can barely make out the words.

Sasuke shakes his head, it was probably just his imagination. It’s late and dark and he has his hair all over his face, he doesn’t know what he is seeing.

“My downstairs neighbours have a cat. It ran away yesterday. Maybe it’s fighting with the crash bins again,” Kakashi suggests, looking tired and annoyed.

Sasuke realises that he is still hovering over Kakashi and that he really shouldn’t be. With such a hasty movement that he almost stumbles over his feet, Sasuke straightens himself up from the awkward position and tries to create a safe distance between them with a few steps.

The problem is that Kakashi notices his retreat.

Sasuke doesn’t get far before Kakashi grabs his hand, wrapping his fingers around Sasuke’s wrist to stop him from running away. His hold on Sasuke is loose enough that should Sasuke want it, he could easily wiggle his way out.

He just really doesn’t want to.

“Hey,” Kakashi calls out in a low voice and tugs Sasuke back to sit on the couch. He waits till Sasuke is facing him again, though Sasuke refuses to meet his eyes. “Is everything alright?” Kakashi asks, propped up on one elbow, his thumb drawing circles on the tender skin on Sasuke’s wrist.

What he means by it is _Is everything alright with us?_ and _Did I go too far?_ and _Why are you pulling away, have I been reading this all wrong?_

And in that moment Sasuke wants to tell him how fucking scared he is of messing this up with him like he did with every other person he cares about. That he wants to be with him, and that Sasuke would have gone along with what they were going to do if they hadn’t been interrupted. That he just wants to bury his face in the nape of Kakashi’s neck and tangle his fingers into his light hair and forget about the rest of the world.

Sasuke is opening his mouth to let it all out, ready to have Kakashi tell him that he is a complete idiot and pull him into his arms, when he remembers Sai sneering at him. That is all it takes for Sasuke to remember the heartbroken expression on Naruto’s face and Sakura’s sobs as she ran away from him, and this time it’s his own heart that breaks.

“Yeah. I’m just tired,” Sasuke answers, hiding behind his hair. He doesn’t dare to look at Kakashi because the moment Kakashi sees his eyes he will know Sasuke is lying. It’s a weak excuse but he doesn’t have anything better.

But he doesn’t have the heart to tell Kakashi no either – no, not when Kakashi gives him a relieved smile and a gentle squeeze on his wrist. So, the only thing Sasuke can think of is postponing the inevitable.

“Let’s not do this tonight,” Sasuke whispers and for the life of him can’t stop himself from taking Kakashi’s hand back into his. He keeps his gaze solely on their intertwined fingers when he lies to Kakashi about them ever having a chance. “You will become the Hokage tomorrow, it’s not the time for this.”

Kakashi blinks.

“Ah, you might be right,” he whispers, and when Sasuke finally has the courage to look at him, Kakashi lets go of him. Before Sasuke has time to mourn the loss of contact, Kakashi brings up his hand to rest it against Sasuke’s neck. It’s calloused but warm on Sasuke’s skin and Sasuke quite promptly forgets how to breathe.

Kakashi smiles at him, though his tone is bittersweet. “Later then.”

With that he withdraws his hand and slumps back on the couch. He ruffles his already messed up hair but stops soon to take another look at Sasuke.

“What time is it? You got home late,” Kakashi asks, his voice still raspy and quiet from sleep. His tone and demeanour are shockingly different from a moment ago – his words are so unexpected that Sasuke has to stare at him for a few seconds before he understands them.

“It’s past ten, I think,” Sasuke answers just as quietly, and there is something in the late hour and the whole mood of the situation that makes whispering feeling like the only appropriate option. “Were you sleeping?”

“Well, I was supposed to only rest my eyes for a moment, but I guess I fell asleep. The sharingan makes my head hurt and I went through a mountain of paperwork for tomorrow,” Kakashi answer and sits up, stretching his arms behind his head, his long back arching with a _snap_. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I just got here. I forgot to bring that file,” Sasuke answers, nodding towards the table. He gets up from the couch and takes a step back to give Kakashi room as the man stands up and hides a yawn behind his hand.

“Have you eaten anything? You just got back from the mission, didn’t you?” Kakashi asks and is already heading towards the kitchen before Sasuke can answer. Dumbfounded, Sasuke stalks after him.

In the kitchen, Sasuke contents himself with leaning against the door frame as he watches Kakashi bend down to inspect the fridge.

“How was the mission anyway?” Kakashi asks, eyes focused down on the fridge, his bare foot tapping a beat against the floor.

“I am now well-versed in the fine arts of hoarding cats and grandchildren,” Sasuke huffs and crosses his arms over his chest, definitely not checking the other man out as Kakashi straightens himself, closes the door of the fridge with a _slam_ and starts to go through the cabinets up on the wall. “I don’t understand why Tsunade assigned that mission to me, it was more fit to a fresh genin team than me.”

“Women are mysterious in their ways,” Kakashi chuckles and a lazy grin that Sasuke can spot from even this angle spreads over his bare face. He fishes something from the cabinets and makes a displeased _click_ with his tongue at the box he is holding. “It’s noodles or nothing, it seems.”

"Whatever.”

“Noodles it is, then,” Kakashi states, his voice cheerier than Sasuke deems appropriate for this late hour of the night. Kakashi turns the stove on and starts the measure the right amount of water in a cup, glancing at Sasuke. “Fetch me a pot, would you?”

With a grunt Sasuke steps into the room and goes straight for the lower cabinets near the stove, already familiar with where things are in this kitchen, and crouches down to study the pots and pans before handing one to Kakashi.

“Freaking out about tomorrow yet?” Sasuke asks as he pushes himself up to his feet again and finds himself leaning against the counter next to Kakashi.

“Strangely enough, no. I have been so busy with all the formalities that I haven’t had the time panic. Yet.”

Sasuke hums, watching as Kakashi changes his weight from one foot to another, and refuses to let his gaze linger on the lines of Kakashi’s hip bones.

“But I take it that everything is ready?” he asks, tearing his gaze from the low-hanging waistline of Kakashi’s pants and focusing on the man’s face instead.

“Should be. I have signed so many papers that my hand is killing me, and I’ve picked all my advisors and assistants and whatnot. Tsunade will probably keep telling me what I’m doing wrong for the next six months anyway so no problem there,” Kakashi laughs and glances at Sasuke. His expression gets more serious. “Have you thought about what you’re going to do about the ANBU?”

“I have no idea what I’m going to do,” Sasuke admits. Ending up in the ANBU forces is what he thought would have happened if his life had taken another path and he had stayed in Konoha. It does tempt him, and he is fairly certain he would be good at it, but on the other hand it means swearing loyalty to Konoha. And since neither Kakashi or Tsunade were behind the offer, it almost feels like a trap the Elders have set for him.

“When do you have to know?”

“In a couple of days.”

Kakashi nods and returns his attention to the steaming pot in front of him. The salty scent of the food fills the room and Sasuke drums his fingers against the counter in impatience – he didn’t have the time to eat anything when he dashed to bring the file here, and now his stomach is growling.

“Naruto will miss your inauguration,” Sasuke blurts out when the thought hits him. He needs something else to think about or his mind will wander back to Kakashi’s touch on his neck.

“He will,” Kakashi agrees, stirring the noodles. “Though I guess that if he was there, he would get jealous and try the steal the stupid hat from me.” He considers that for a moment. “I think I would let him.”

“Idiot,” Sasuke scoffs and isn’t sure which one of them he means by that.

Kakashi is happy to smack him at the back of his head anyway and laugh when Sasuke tries to step on his toes in revenge.

And they might spend the rest of the late evening joking about tomorrow and Sasuke’s stupid mission and the millionth time they tried to kiss each other. And by the time the clock hands hit midnight and Sasuke realises how late it is, Kakashi is already tossing the spare blankets into Sasuke’s arms, stating that he needs somebody to make sure that he won’t be late on the day he becomes Hokage.


	23. Pressure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this chapter is so late. This chapter was my all-time favourite when I was writing the first draft a year ago, and so there was this pressure (no pun intended) to make this chapter as good as it could be. That resulted in me avoiding writing this for a week at first, and then spending countless hours going through it over and over again. And I bet that there are some embarrassing mistakes in there anyway. 
> 
> But in our series of long-ass chapters, here is another one - it's the longest so far. 
> 
> Hands up, who is here for the unnecessary drama?

 

_The 12th of May, the fifth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

Sasuke wakes up to an uncomfortable weight on his legs.

Disorientated, he snaps his eyes open to stare at one of Kakashi’s dogs – he thinks it’s the one called Bisuke – sleeping on top of him on the blanket. Sasuke blinks at the dog which seems to be quite happy to doze off there, snoring and kicking with its hind legs in its sleep. Sasuke’s legs, on the other hand, are numb under the weight of the dog, and Sasuke really isn’t enough of a morning person for this.

As he tries to wiggle his toes to get the feeling back in them, Sasuke wonders what time it is and where the rest of the pack are along with their master. The apartment is silent apart from the ticking of the clock and the occasional pitter patter of paws on the wooden floor, and that reveals that at least the dogs are still at home.

Not risking moving and disturbing the ninken’s sleep, Sasuke cranes his neck to see the clock up on the wall. He had expected to be the first one awake this morning because of Kakashi’s well-known habit of being chronically late. Sasuke had also been anticipating a morning full of relentlessly trying to kick Kakashi out of the apartment in time for his inauguration. But when Sasuke finally catches the sight of the clock, panic makes his stomach jump – it’s hours later than he meant to wake up. The ceremony will start in less than an hour and he is still here, in the rumpled clothes he slept in, and who knows where Kakashi is.

Sasuke wrestles himself on his feet, or at least tries to – his right foot is still wrapped in the tangled sheets, he has somehow managed to get one corner of the blanket underneath himself, and Bisuke’s nails dig into his thighs as the dog tries to scramble to safety while throwing dirty looks at him. Sasuke almost trips over himself in his haste, nearly falling off the couch. He slams his hand on the coffee table next to the couch to balance himself, hitting his other elbow on the corner of the table as well and that results only in a sharp pain shooting up his arm – and something wrinkles under his fingers.

Furrowing his brow, Sasuke raises his hand and finds a piece of paper lying on the table. He lifts the note and peers at it. He recognises Kakashi’s handwriting, languid and barely readable, and chuckles, because everything else in that man might be refined beyond perfection, but his hand sure isn’t.

_You looked so tired yesterday that I thought you would murder me if I dared to wake you up. See you later tonight._

Sasuke sighs at the chicken scratch while massaging his aching elbow. While he is relieved that at least one of them won’t be late today, Sasuke is still feeling blue. He would have wanted to see Kakashi before he left for the ceremony because despite what Kakashi said in his note, Sasuke doubts whether he will have any chance to speak to him today.

Sasuke crumples the note in his hand and nearly throws it at the wall when he realises that he is disappointed. He bites his lip right after in frustration. It shouldn’t be that big of a thing – nowadays he sees Kakashi almost every day, hell, he spends most of his time at Kakashi’s apartment anyway. So, what does one day mean at this point?

But it’s different this time. Kakashi becomes Hokage today, and Sasuke has been at his side throughout the whole process of the succession. Since Sasuke can’t be there during the inauguration, he would have at least wanted to have their morning, quiet and peaceful and _theirs_ , to tell Kakashi that he is happy for him. Especially after last night.

Speaking of last night, _what the fuck was that?_ Sasuke presses his palms against his brow and scrunches his eyes closed, making a whining sound deep in his throat. He is digging his own grave with the shit he has going on. _Let’s not do this tonight –_ fuck _,_ he might just as well have kissed Kakashi right then and been done with it. How was any of that even remotely close to trying to keep himself in check? Sasuke makes even more pitiful sound and curls on himself tighter. Why is he like this, why is he so _weak_ –

And in the same breath he has to admit to himself that this was inevitable. The second Sasuke had realised that Kakashi feels the same towards him, he had known that despite how much he would try to stop himself, he was going to give in.

He would have gone all the way to the end yesterday if it hadn’t been for that noise.

Sasuke can still feel the brush of Kakashi’s hand against his neck, remembers how the man had looked at him, hears the promise in his voice, and it makes him breathless even now. The only thing that is keeping him from having all that is himself, and truth to be told, Sasuke isn’t sure whether he wants to keep pulling away anymore.

With a sigh Sasuke lets his shoulders sag. He is so tired of this ridiculous dancing around each other they have had going on. Maybe – maybe he should just talk to Kakashi about this. They have shared so much already, Sasuke knows that Kakashi will listen no matter what Sasuke has to say. And that, like everything else about his relationship with Kakashi, has been so different from the one he had with Naruto – it can’t end the same way, can it? If Sasuke tells Kakashi how scared he is, how much it hurts him to have lost Team 7, how much Sai’s words bother him, maybe he can finally let go.

Maybe they could make it work.

But not yet.

Not before the inauguration. And not before the hearing. But after that…

Sasuke shakes his head to clear his thoughts and his messy and tangled hair falls all over his face. He doesn’t have time for this – he still has to head home and go find something more presentable to wear for both the ceremony and the evening party. It’s not every day your former teacher becomes the head of the village, and Sasuke has to look the part, even if it’s just for looking from afar.

Sasuke drags the blankets away to the closet in the bedroom, quickly tries to make himself look a little more decent and heads out. It’s not long before the inauguration, so he can’t afford to waste time at home. He only takes a very quick shower, changes his clothes and grabs something he can eat on the way, and then he runs out of the door again and towards the centre of the village.

Soon Sasuke finds himself standing in the wide clearing in front of the Hokage Tower, one of the many people in the huge crowd gathered there. It's a warm day, with a hint of summer already dancing in the wind. Loud chatter fills the air as the large mass of people slowly spans over the square. Food stalls and trinket vendors have already emerged from their hiding places and there is a warm, spicy scent flowing around the clearing. Sasuke lets his gaze sweep over the square, enjoying the warmth of the sun on his skin and the slight breeze that plays with his hair. The day couldn’t have been more beautiful for the occasion.

Sasuke spies many of his old classmates in the crowd – he sees Hinata by the ice cream vendor and spots Shino following her not far behind. There are Shikamaru and Chouji on the other side of the square, chuckling together at something, sharing one of Chouji’s potato chip bags.

Sasuke’s shoulders tense when he spots Ino, because standing next to her is Sakura.

The women are gossiping near the edge of the square, close enough to Sasuke that they could hear him if he raised his voice a little. Sakura is explaining something to Ino, and her cheeks are rosy as she waves her gloved hands along with her speech. Ino is nodding during the appropriate parts of Sakura’s tirade and scanning the crowd at the same time. Her long ponytail sways with the motion.

Sasuke doesn’t know what makes Sakura turn her head around, but she does, laughing, with her hair flowing all over her face. It’s almost like it happens in slow-motion, because Sasuke can pinpoint the exact moment Sakura spots him. Her eyes widen in surprise and her giggles die out as she stares at him over Ino’s shoulder, and Sasuke is already dreading her reaction.

But Sakura is quick to catch herself. In a blink of an eye, there is a real, genuine smile blooming on her face and she is mouthing a soundless “Hi!” at him. Then she waves at him and Ino, following Sakura’s gaze, notices Sasuke too.

Sasuke has no idea whether Sakura is still harbouring some hopeless feelings for him or not. But he misses his friend, and this is a start as good as any. That is why he raises his hand into a quick greeting back and lets the corner of his mouth quirk up just a little.

He gets a bright smile in return.

To be honest, all this confusion just makes Sasuke’s head ache, but right now his friend is beaming at him like things were back to normal again, and that gives him hope.

Maybe Kakashi was right, maybe Sakura just needed time to grow out of her crush.

Maybe there is still hope for the old Team 7.

And for a moment it seems like Sakura would like to come to talk to him – she’s walking past Ino towards him already – but Ino grabs her arm, throwing a glare at Sasuke’s direction, and starts to drag Sakura away.

Sasuke guesses that Sakura did find a shoulder to cry on.

Feeling almost relieved that he was saved from trying to come up with something to say to Sakura, Sasuke forgets himself into studying his old classmates. Ino and Sakura have reached Kiba who has apparently got the honour of looking after Naruto’s genin team while the Uzumaki is gone – he is excitedly telling the kids something while Akamaru herds the children, trotting around them with its tail wagging.

As Sasuke watches the genins, two boys and one girl, he has to wonder if Naruto, Sakura and he were really that small when they were that young. Being twelve seems so far away now.

Sasuke has messed up a lot since then.

Now, with all the young children running around the clearing with melting ice creams in their hands, and his classmates, all of them chuunins or jounins, hanging around and gossiping with each other, he wonders what it would be like to be here with Team 7, the Team 7 they were last summer. It had been so simple then. They had had absolute trust in each other and it had been easy to believe that nothing could stop them from changing the world. Naruto had been Sasuke’s best friend and there hadn’t been even a shadow of a doubt of that. He had been hanging from Sasuke’s arm at every turn, Sakura had seemed to have ditched the fangirl attitude for good and Sasuke, while pretending otherwise, had just enjoyed being with his friends for the first time in years.

And then Sasuke sees it, like they would have been – like they should have been – on the day one of them becomes Hokage.

_Sasuke and Sakura watch as Naruto turns back from_ _explaining something_ _to his students and his orange jumper is bright in the sunlight. Naruto wraps his arms around both of his teammates’ shoulders and he does it with such a speed that he almost clangs their heads together._

_”_ _It's a good day to be alive, ay?”_ _Naruto grins, his whisker marks stretched with his wide smile, and Sasuke finds himself smirking back. Sakura fist-bumps both of them and leans over to mess up Sasuke’s hair just as easily as Naruto does._

_Sasuke swats both of their hands away, muttering something under his breath about their combined_ _idiocy, and that causes Sakura to hit him over the head._

_But she giggles at Sasuke when he turns to glare at her, and by the time Naruto and she are both doing stupid faces at him, Sasuke has given up and is rolling his eyes at them._

The crowd erupts in deafening cheers. Sasuke looks up at the Tower and sees Tsunade marching on the deck on the roof and waving at the masses below her. Sasuke can't hear what she says over the applauses and loud roaring – and to be truthful, she is kind of far away – but he doesn't need to catch her words to know what's going on.

When a tall man walks into the view next to her, the crowd goes wild with the sounds. With a spin of sharingan Sasuke makes out Kakashi’s signature closed-eye smile, and he imprints it on his memory without stopping to think about it.

And Naruto would have yelled everybody's ears off and Sakura would have been almost as loud as him and twice as dangerous with her waving, strong hands. But Naruto is in the Sand, and Sakura is being loud with Ino and not Sasuke.

But she smiled at him. And Naruto would have wanted to see him before he left. Maybe it’s not all lost.

It’s suddenly very easy to smile.

The sun is shining.

 

o0o 

 

The evening finds Sasuke at the formal party the village can now afford to pay for after several years of relative peace. Politicians and nobles from all over the Land of Fire along with a few important guests from beyond their borders have been invited, and the room is buzzing with people having polite yet boring conversations as they celebrate the inauguration of the Sixth Hokage.

The Hokage Tower continues to surprise Sasuke, since it apparently also conceals a room big enough for an event like this – Sasuke isn’t sure whether the space normally has some other purpose and has been only cleared up for tonight, or if they really have a ballroom in the central headquarters of the village. He guesses that is the former – the place doesn’t really scream festive or respectable, and it’s only because of someone’s vigorous attempts at decorating with serpentine that the room is suited enough for today’s event. And it doesn’t seem likely that a ninja village would waste money, effort and space for something as pointless as frivolous as a ballroom.

Sasuke is fairly certain that none of this was Kakashi’s idea – if it was up to him, Kakashi would have just taken the funny hat and got to work, or to be more precise, got to avoiding all the work, and certainly not thrown a lavish party with the cream of the Fire Country present.

It might have been Tsunade’s idea to celebrate her moving on with her career at the same time. When Tsunade became Hokage, the Leaf had been on the brink of war with both the Sound and the Sand, and there hadn’t been any resources, time or will to have a party like this. It’s the long era of peace and the alliances between the Shinobi Countries combined that results in this, and Sasuke isn’t sure whether that’s a good thing.

Sasuke mingles trough the cordially socialising people and feels like a walking scandal just by breathing the same air as the other guests. Despite the fact that he is the head of the once great and honourable Uchiha clan, Sasuke still feels like he has no business being here among these people and that they know it too – especially since he was a wanted man only a year ago.

Sasuke sticks out from the crowd like a sore thumb. Sasuke feels all the gazes on him and he doesn’t need to be a genius to notice how the guests make way for him when he walks in. Most of them take a step back, some even gawk openly at him, and Sasuke has never felt more like a circus animal. While the people of Konoha have got used to him since he has been back in the village for a year already – some of them even rooted for him during the skirmish with Danzou – the elite of the Fire Country know him only by his name and reputation. Sasuke doesn’t know whether it’s his family’s legacy or his own past that causes this violent reaction, but either way, it’s there and it’s not subtle.

Feeling uncomfortable and annoyed, Sasuke finds himself a hiding spot in the dimmest corner of the room. He contents himself with leaning against a wall and glaring at anybody who gets too close to him. If the guests want nothing to do with Sasuke, then he wants nothing to do with them. Let them stare at him if they want – he has done nothing wrong.

He is also trying to steer clear of Tsunade who has made herself acquainted with all the alcohol of the party and is now adamantly keen on bothering Sasuke about his poor life choices.

And all of this just underlines how alone Sasuke is. Naruto is in the Sand, hundreds of miles away from here, and Sakura had been called to the hospital because of an emergency. Sasuke doesn’t believe that she even got an invitation, unless Kakashi had delivered her one himself – she is from a civilian family, a clanless woman, and that still matters to some old farts in power though it shouldn't. And Sasuke is fairly certain that as soon as Kakashi had declared his unwillingness to have this kind of a party, he had been denied any right to make changes to the guest list.

Sasuke knows that had things been better between them, he would have asked Sakura to come as his plus one just because he finds a particular joy in showing the finger to the Elders these days. And Sakura might deserve one date with him – as friends – after everything they have been through.

So Sasuke has been abandoned all alone in the middle of these people he doesn't know, but who all know who he is, with his only help being the badly-remembered traditional etiquette training he received when he was seven.

A big part of him wants to run screaming out of the door.

A slightly larger part of him is planning a stealthy escape via a bathroom visit.

His careful scheming is interrupted when he spots the reason for the tonight’s celebration. Kakashi, with his hair for once tamed and his sleek frame covered in dark colours and finely cut clothes, is having a polite conversation with a posh looking pair of middle-aged women.

Despite the breakdown a few weeks earlier Kakashi seems to be taking well to his new role. There's no trace of desperation on his face as he nods at something the taller one of the two women says, and chuckles at the other. Sasuke recognises the emblems and symbols on the women’s clothing – they mark them as very high-ups nobles, and Sasuke watches as Kakashi dances his way through the complex steps of showing them the respect their status demands.

There is a heavy weight in the pit of his stomach as Sasuke remembers practicing the same exact thing with Kakashi a few days earlier – Sasuke, in a loose t-shirt, the ink-stains on his fingers matching the shade of his hair, had been playing the part of a noble woman, quite convincingly in fact if you asked him. And Kakashi, with both his face and feet bare, had bowed at him with a twinkle in his eye, waving his arm in an elaborate, completely ridiculous manner while spewing all the flattering titles and trivial compliments he could muster, and had burst out laughing soon after that.

Now Kakashi goes through the same formalities as the Sixth Hokage, better dressed than Sasuke has ever seen him, and it’s only self-confidence and assuredness that the man lets through. Sasuke wonders how much of the calm exterior is just good acting and whether Kakashi feels just as out of place as Sasuke does.

A waitress walks by carrying a tray stacked with glasses and Sasuke grabs a drink without even glancing at it. He twirls the glass in his fingers and makes his way away to the centre of the room to avoid one of the Daimyou’s lackeys – they are quite persistent in trying to get to talk to him. While most of the guests steer away from Sasuke like he is the plague, a few of them seem to find him fascinating and attempt to launch as many annoyingly personal questions at him as possible. Sasuke doesn’t have the will to tolerate them tonight – he is not something to be poked and prodded at to see what he does when he is aggravated.

To make matters even worse, the whole Council is here tonight, even the Elders, and Sasuke knows that he is under strict surveillance. The Elders are looking for anything to use against him now that the date of the assessment is so close, to sabotage it and Sasuke’s position in the Council. They don’t like him – and is there a more delicious way to kick him out of the Council than to catch him embarrassing himself in public?

Sasuke doesn’t even know how the Elders let him come here tonight. Yes, they would be ecstatic to find a reason to get rid of Sasuke, but that doesn’t exactly outweigh the fact that Sasuke will be seen here, amongst all the important politicians of the Leaf, publicly celebrating his former teacher and squad leader. Sasuke is sure that the Elders don’t appreciate Sasuke being associated with Kakashi in anyway now that Kakashi is the Hokage – they want to preserve the image of a flawless, perfect Hokage, and understandably being friends with an ex-criminal might be a problem for them. Sasuke half-expects to be politely yet firmly shown the door sometime during the course of the evening, especially if he was so unfortunate that he would get himself any closer to the Sixth, let alone speak to him.

So, looking from afar is probably the only thing Sasuke will be allowed to do tonight. Sasuke doesn’t like obeying the Elders, but he doesn’t want to cause a scene either. And it’s not like they can keep Sasuke away from Kakashi forever – what does one evening mean when Kakashi already tried to kiss him yesterday?

Sasuke scoffs and rolls his eyes, sipping from his glass. Wrinkled old fools.

He steals a glimpse at Kakashi from the corner of his eye. He watches the straight posture that reveals Kakashi’s height, the black clothes that somehow manage to make his shoulders look even wider, and the mask that covers the lower half of the man’s face. Sasuke has the interesting realisation that by now he is so used to seeing Kakashi without the mask that it feels strange to see him like this. It’s weird to not be able to see the dimple in his right cheek when he smiles or the light stubble on his chin when he has been too lazy to shave.

Sasuke lets his eyes wander. With his black outfit resembling the standard jounin gear and his hands clasped behind his back Kakashi looks like the commander he is.

The title of Hokage looks good on him.

Sasuke forces the grin out of his face and raises his gaze from Kakashi’s back to his face. To his surprise, Kakashi is watching him too and – for fuck’s sake, did he just wink at Sasuke? Who winks at people in an event like this?

Apparently his former teacher, the newly-appointed Hokage does.

After giving Kakashi a pointed glare in return, Sasuke tears his gaze away from him because he feels a warmth seeping on his cheeks, and looks for a distraction. He chucks down the rest of his drink and swaps the empty glass for a full one as another waiter passes by him.

Usually Sasuke wouldn’t touch alcohol even with a ten-foot pole because he likes to be in control of himself at all times, but this party is making him anxious. Normally Sasuke wouldn’t care what anybody thinks of him, but with the whole VIP crowd gaping at him like he has grown a second head and the Elders giving him wary looks from the other side of the room, Sasuke catches himself almost fidgeting. But Uchihas don’t fidget, so he downs a drink after another instead. He has already lost count of how many he has had tonight, and it pisses him off even further. The stupid, handsome Hokage flirting with him doesn’t help either.

Fuming with annoyance at Kakashi and the stupid party, Sasuke tugs the tight collar of his shirt and almost walks straight into an old councillor from the Mist.

”Ah, Uchiha-san, how lovely to finally meet you! What do you think of the party?” the man laughs with a slight drunk note in his loud voice and introduces himself with such a sweaty handshake that Sasuke would like to swipe his hand at something. At least somebody hasn’t got the memo about the guests being supposed to run screaming away from Sasuke the moment they see him.

The councillor is a large man and a magnificent sight in his formal wear. He also seems to like the sound of his own voice as he jumps to a new batch of questions before Sasuke has had time to answer the first ones.

”Are you well acquainted with the Sixth?”

The possible answers Sasuke has in his already slightly drunk mind range from the polite _He was my jounin instructor when I was a genin_ to the scandalous _We_ _probably would have had sex last night if I hadn’t bolted at the last minute, and guess whether I regret panicking right now_.

He opts for the former one.

Sasuke’s answer seems to both surprise and please the councillor. Sasuke wonders how it is possible that the man didn't know this fact. Though that isn’t the first obvious thing the councillor has missed tonight.

The councillor rolls his shoulders back and hums in the distinct way old, somewhat important people do.

”A prodigy of a prodigy you are then, my boy,” the man bellows and skips over the fact that he is, in fact, calling the head of the Uchiha clan a boy. Sasuke thinks it's only fair that he has decided to forget the man’s name by now.

In a manner typical to old people, the councillor manages to change the topic of their conversation to an alarmingly more awkward one.

”So what's in store for the famous Uchiha clan's future? Are we to expect weddings and young heirs in the near future?”

It's not really any of his business and Sasuke is almost on the verge of telling the councillor just that. But he doesn't want to cause a scandal and give the Elders a reason to mock him. And more importantly, he wants to avoid the wrath of the Fifth Hokage for ruining her successor's inauguration party.

”Not anytime soon,” Sasuke says with a polite tone he remembers his mother using with unexpected, unwanted guests. _No chance of that happening_ , he thinks as his eyes wander to the tall figure on the other side of the room. The Sixth Hokage is somehow looking relaxed and commanding at the same time as he walks amongst the guests, with some of them almost lining up to get to shake his hand.

Sasuke indulges in appreciating the shape of Kakashi's broad shoulders and lean waist for a few seconds before he returns his focus on the old man in front of him.

Then he is struck by an idea that he knows he will come to regret later.

”Sir, I'm interested to know what the Mist's opinion on oppressing clans with bloodline limits is,” Sasuke begins with a straight face as he launches his questions at the now baffled politician. ”And what's your policy on dealing with orphans? Don't you think all Shinobi nations should agree on proper orphanage systems in every village? And that the enrolling age for the academy should be significantly higher?”

Direct questions seem to be the councillor's weak point. He makes a panicked expression, a sloppy apology and a hasty escape.

Sasuke can already feel Tsunade glaring daggers at him. Along with the Elders.

He takes a sip from his drink and smirks at himself. Then his grin turns into a frown. If talking about these topics is as difficult with every village's representatives, changing the system will take forever.

Sasuke feels somebody's gaze on his neck. He glances behind his back over his shoulders, ready to face a fuming Tsunade but is instead met by a different Hokage.

Kakashi is looking at him. His eyes are hooded and dark and Sasuke feels a warmth at the pit of his stomach. Kakashi is talking to someone else but his focus is fixed on Sasuke. Again.

Sasuke feels his mouth dry. He shifts around to see Kakashi properly, but as he moves, Kakashi drops his gaze and turns back to his conversation partner.

Sasuke’s knuckles are white as he clutches his glass. Kakashi’s look was just like it was yesterday, dark and focused solely on him. Sasuke can still almost feel the warm of Kakashi’s fingers gracing his skin under his shirt. And for the first time since he broke up with Naruto, the one, only thing keeping him from walking to Kakashi and dragging him to the first empty room is not himself, but the Elders. The old couple is sitting not far behind Kakashi, keeping a close eye on Sasuke, patiently waiting for the moment when he snaps and does something reckless.

And Sasuke can still remember Kakashi’s weight on him there in the Land of Snow, his breathy and deep voice against Sasuke’s neck, his calloused hands on his stomach, his thighs, his –

”Uchiha, don't you know it's rude to stare,” comes a dry voice from his left and Sasuke has to stop himself from twitching in surprise. He swirls around to face an unimpressed Hyuuga Neji.

”Hyuuga,” is the only somewhat appropriate answer Sasuke can manage at the moment. His face feels hot and he really doesn’t want to know how red he is.

”Congratulations for becoming clan head,” Neji says, not paying any mind to Sasuke’s awkwardness, and raises his own glass slightly at Sasuke. ”It's quite an achievement at your age.”

”It's only an empty title these days,” Sasuke answers, trying to reel in his thoughts and concentrate on Neji.

A young woman comes to stand next to Neji. She bows nervously at Sasuke with waves of her dark hair falling over her pale face.

”It’s – it's still quite – quite an honour, Sasuke-kun,” Hinata addresses Sasuke, her light eyes shying away from his gaze.

A peal of laughter echoes from the other side of the room and their little group turns to look at the cause of the sound. It seems that the Sixth Hokage has said something particularly witty as the crowd of guests around him has erupted into laughing with tears in their eyes.

Sasuke’s grip on his glass tightens.

”It will be interesting to witness the reign of our newest Hokage. The infamous copy-nin and the only son of the White Fang,” Neji comments as he studies Kakashi, emphasising the titles.

_That's not even half of what he is_ , Sasuke hisses back in his mind. Right after he feels shocked at how aggressively he is defending Kakashi. Mortified, Sasuke keeps his eyes away from the man in question and spies the mass of slightly drunk politicians instead. With their stuffy formal wear and red faces, they are quite an unattractive bunch. Sasuke spots Tsunade bossing the waiters around and Shizune trying her best to keep any alcohol away from her.

”Have you any idea who he will pick for his personal guard?” Neji asks.

Sasuke, slightly baffled by the unexpected question, blinks and racks his brain to come up with an intelligent answer.

”No, he hasn't talked about that with me,” he says slowly and lets himself turn to look at Kakashi. Now that Sasuke thinks about, he has to wonder how he can have missed such an obvious thing. The personal guard was never brought up between them – Kakashi never asked for Sasuke’s opinion.

How come Neji is the first one to bring this up with Sasuke and not Kakashi himself?

”Doesn't the Hokage's personal guard consist of ANBUs?” Sasuke hears himself asking, trying to recall what Tsunade explained him about this. That too seems to have been a lifetime ago.

”Yes, and sometimes even jounins.”

”I think that – that Kakashi-san has chosen them already. Father said it's customary for Hokages to select their guards before the – the inauguration,” Hinata puts in, blushes when the young men turn to look at her and hides herself behind Neji's back. ”That might be one of them,” she whispers and points at a lion-masked ANBU who has materialized next to Kakashi and is whispering something in his ear.

Sasuke feels numb. The guards have been chosen. Kakashi has chosen them already. His most trusted shinobis to stand by his side and keep him safe. Kakashi didn't ask Sasuke. He didn't even talk about this with him – fuck, he didn't even mention a word about the personal guard.

_After everything he still doesn't trust Sasuke._

The glass in his hand shatters to pieces.

People stare at Sasuke as he stands there with bloody fingers, glass shards at his feet and an empty look on his face. Sasuke himself doesn't notice the blood until Hinata start to gush over his hand.

”I'm fine,” he hisses, his voice rougher and angrier than he intended, and tucks his hand to his side. ”I'm fine,” he repeats when Neji stares oddly at him.

And then it’s all too much for him.

”Excuse me,” Sasuke blurts out and pushes himself through the crowd – he needs to get out, he can’t stand this any longer. It feels like there is no end to the mass of people, all of them staring at him as he tries to escape the situation, and the air in the room is so thick and hot and heavy Sasuke can barely breathe.

Sasuke bursts out from the ballroom and into the quiet, cool corridor. He doesn’t stop there – the sound of his hurries steps echoes in the empty hallway as he dashes forwards, his rapid pulse throbbing in his ears. The cuts and wounds on his hand bleed on his shirt and through the fabric, and he curses to himself when the stinging pain finally hits him.

Sasuke finds a restroom and swings the door open. It’s empty. He rushes to the faucet and tucks his hand under a shower of cold water.

The sound of running water fills the room. The cold prickles his skin while his fingers start to become numb. Sasuke leans his forehead against the mirror over the faucet and curses. He is drunk, sweaty, nauseous and miserable. His reflection in the mirror looks just as awful as he feels. His shirt is a mess, the same can be said about his hand, and there's a wound under his chin he didn't even notice until now.

The door opens and someone steps in. Sasuke is in the middle of opening his mouth to growl at whoever it is to get the hell out of there when a hand is placed on his shoulder and there is Kakashi's voice next to his ear.

”Let me see.”

Despite the fact that Sasuke would just like to tell him to fuck off and leave him alone, he doesn’t have the energy to argue, and Sasuke lets Kakashi turn him around.

Kakashi finds a first-aid kit from a drawer next to them. He lays it on the counter and unceremoniously steps into Sasuke’s personal space. Kakashi takes Sasuke’s damaged hand in his own and a makes a scolding tutting sound as he studies the bloody palm and fingers.

”Who pissed you off this time?” Kakashi asks, not even glancing at Sasuke as he starts to pick out the glass shards and clean the wounds. His fingers are warm and calloused over Sasuke’s skin.

_You_.

”I didn't like the wine,” Sasuke grunts and hops up on the counter behind him. Kakashi, crouched over his hand, looks up to grin at him and notices the gash on his neck.

”What am I going to do with you?” he mutters and gently lifts Sasuke's chin to get a better look.

Sasuke tries to force his mind blank but doesn’t quite succeed.

”Okay, it's not as bad as it seems,” Kakashi says after a moment of examination, letting his frown smoothen, and returns to tending Sasuke's hand.

”Shouldn't you be entertaining your guests, _Hokage-sama?_ ” Sasuke retorts and stresses the last word. All the alcohol of the evening buzzes in his head.

”I think they can manage by themselves for a few minutes,” Kakashi answers cheerily and finishes dressing the wounds. ”Now let me see your neck again.”

Sasuke leans back on the counter to give him a better view on the gash and Kakashi steps in between his legs to get closer. Kakashi grabs a hold on Sasuke’s chin again and tilts his head up. All the alcohol in his system makes Sasuke think how suggesting their position is and how easy it would be circle his legs around Kakashi's waist, draw the man in and let him have his way with him right there on the counter. He almost laughs out loud at the thought of the fancily dressed clan heads and the overly posh old coots conversing together while their newly-appointed Sixth Hokage is having sex with an ex-criminal in a dingy restroom just down the hall.

”What happened with the glass? You looked upset right before you stormed out,” Kakashi asks and tilts Sasuke's head back even more. His hot breath on Sasuke's skin make shivers run down on Sasuke’s back. The fact that Kakashi kept looking at him the whole night sends a warmth between his legs.

”It’s none of your concern,” he states and tries to keep his voice from slurring.

Kakashi releases his hold on him but doesn't step away. Sasuke straightens his back and finds himself on level with Kakashi, their faces only inches apart.

”Why are you here, really?” Sasuke asks, his voice husky with alcohol and lust and anger.

”You're too drunk for that.”

Sasuke _looks_ at him.

”I needed to give you this,” Kakashi gives in with a sigh, his voice revealing nothing. He takes something he had strapped to his hip – and what does it tell of Sasuke’s level of soberness that he didn’t notice it until now – and presents it to Sasuke.

It’s an ANBU mask. Kakashi must have gone to get it before he came after him.

”This is for you.”

Sasuke takes the mask in his hand carefully, scared of dropping it in his drunken state. He thinks it is supposed to be a likeness of a bird.

”What is it?” he asks, his voice stronger than he expected.

”The robin.”

_Robin, bird of rebirth and renewal. What are you trying to say, Kakashi?_

”Thank you,” Sasuke breathes out and feels surprised to notice that he really means it. “But I haven’t decided what I want to do yet. Why are you giving me this now?”

And suddenly it's the Sixth Hokage standing in front of Sasuke instead of his dumb old sensei. Kakashi's right eye is almost black in the dim light, contrasting against the blood red of the sharingan as he holds Sasuke's gaze.

”I would like you to be the leader of my personal guard.”

Blood rushes in Sasuke’s ears as he tries to understand what he has just been asked. He looks up at Kakashi, his eyes wide, at a loss for words to say, because he remembers what Tsunade told him – _being the leader of this guard is the greatest acknowledgement of one’s skill and loyalty a shinobi can get._

Kakashi wants him to be the leader. Not just a member of his guard, but the leader.

And Sasuke had the time to think that Kakashi didn't trust him.

“I know that this is not the most ideal option considering our...” Kakashi starts, and for the first time he addresses the almost non-existent space between them, glancing down at their bodies and then pointedly at Sasuke again, “… _situation_ , but I wanted to give you an option.”

Before Sasuke can get a word out, Kakashi continues, but with a softer expression and quieter words.

“You deserve the acknowledgment an ANBU position is, but there are problems with the usual way. The Elders arranged the offer for you, there is no doubt of that. But I don’t trust them as far as I can throw them, especially when it comes to you. So, this is an alternative,” Kakashi says. He stops for a second, both of them quiet as they study each other. Muffled sounds from the party can be heard all the way here. “You don’t have to take the job if you don’t want to – I have somebody else arranged to take the leadership in the case you say no.”

“Why didn’t you tell me anything before?” Sasuke asks, keeping his eyes safely on Kakashi’s chest – there are so many different emotions running wild in him right now that he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

”I should have said something, I know, but I didn't want to give a false hope. The Council makes the final decision on the guard members, and I wasn’t sure whether the Elders would allow you to join. They want you in the ANBU, but I didn’t know whether they want you in the guard and so close to me. But I guess their only goal is to get you in the force, no matter which group, since they agreed,” Kakashi tells him and doesn’t turn away when Sasuke raises his gaze to look at him. “And I honestly didn’t remember the whole guard until you got your summons.”

Sasuke chuckles at him, because that is so typical of Kakashi, to end such an important and meaningful confession on a lame note. Then he regards Kakashi again and frowns.

“ _This_ is what the stupid mission was about. _You_ wanted me out of the village, not Tsunade, so you could have the Council to yourself and manipulate them into letting me get the job.”

Kakashi lets out a breathy laugh.

“Well, I had to do something to get you out of there – you couldn’t exactly have voted about your own promotion. And I wanted to surprise you, though in my head there was supposed to be a lot less blood and alcohol included.”

Sasuke snorts.

“So did you just want to steal me from the Elders or was there some other reason behind this unexpected honour you have decided to bestow upon me?”

At this Kakashi takes another deep sigh, tilts his head to the side and regards Sasuke in silence for a few seconds before he answers.

”A regular ANBU serves the village and vows to protect it. The ANBUs working directly for the Hokage swear their loyalty to one particular Hokage alone.”

And only now Sasuke understands what exactly Kakashi is offering him. He is giving him a way out. Sasuke doesn't have to take an oath for the village that took everything from him, that tore his family apart and made his brother a murderer of his own kin.

Instead Sasuke will swear his loyalty to this man who is warm and solid between Sasuke's legs, his voice deep and hot against Sasuke’s neck.

”Yes,” Sasuke vows to his Hokage, in the shabby restroom, sitting on the counter, drunk and slightly aroused, and it still feels like he has promised Kakashi more than to just be his bodyguard, “I pledge my life to you.”

”You're drunk,” is Kakashi's deadpan answer. ”You can say that in my office tomorrow, sober, and then we'll see about it.”

”Hn.”

They stay there for a few seconds, close together, only a breath between them. Kakashi is a warm, heavy presence against Sasuke's thighs. His hair seems grey in the dull light and Sasuke misses the way it usually fans over his eyes. He curses whoever attacked the Hokage tonight with a comb and hairspray.

”I think it's time for you to head home,” Kakashi smiles at him, tired, and there is something in him that makes Sasuke think that Kakashi would like to reach over to lay a hand on his shoulder, on his neck, on his cheek, but he is holding himself back, maybe remembering that _later_ from yesterday. ”I'm jealous, I have to entertain my lovely guests for the rest of the evening.”

Kakashi steps back to create an appropriate distance between them and Sasuke feels cold immediately.

Masking his disappointment, Sasuke jumps down to the floor and is satisfied to notice that his legs don't give out under him. He rolls his shoulders back and glares at Kakashi when he dares to ask whether Sasuke thinks he can manage his way home alone.

Still laughing at him, Kakashi opens the door for Sasuke. He waves a hand at Sasuke and turns around to walk back to the ballroom with light steps.

Sasuke watches Kakashi until he disappears from his sight, and then, patched up and still quite happily drunk, he goes home with his bird mask tucked under his arm.


	24. Breaking Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: I have changed the last scene a little - I wasn't happy with the original version, so I decided to tweak it a little bit. So, after many, many versions of that scene and a couple of false starts, let's hope that this one works.
> 
> A big thank you for [centsless](http://archiveofourown.org/users/centsless/pseuds/centsless) for all the ideas! I promised you that chapter, and we'll get there when we get there.
> 
> I have no idea what I'm doing and you guys are going to murder me.

 

 _The 13th of May, the fifth year of peace  
__Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

The morning after the inauguration party presents Sasuke with the worst hangover he has had in his life. His head feels like it’s going to burst – it’s a throbbing, pulsing pain behind his eyes and it wakes him up from his sleep.

The moment Sasuke gets his bloodshot eyes open, he scrunches them back closed again and hides his face in his pillow with a groan.

And he thought he was miserable last night.

As Sasuke lies there, wondering the pros and cons of never getting up and sleeping for the rest of his life, the memories from last night start to slowly seep back. He foggily remembers the guests staring at him, the Elders trying to burn holes on the back of his head, Tsunade and her sake bottles, and something about an ANBU mask.

Sasuke massages his brow and blinks one eye open to spy the robin mask on the nightstand. So he didn’t just imagine it.

Then he is hit with a vivid memory of his attempt of trying to drunkenly come on to Kakashi while still being pissed at him, and Sasuke seriously considers suffocating himself with his pillow right there and then. Oh, Sasuke won’t have to worry about keeping himself in check anymore – after that little show, Kakashi will surely think that he is just a ridiculous kid and gracefully back out of whatever their relationship is supposed to be.

Sasuke grabs his pillow and stuffs his face in it. He’s never drinking again.

Sasuke lets out another groan, this one long and whiny, and rolls to his side, his legs still tangled in the sheets. He estimates his place on the bed wrong and almost falls off to the floor.

There he is, the future leader of the Hokage’s guard, the last Uchiha and the head of his clan, falling off things. Again. In the short span of two days.

After a short debate with himself about whether or not he really wants to get up and face the world and his own humiliation, Sasuke hauls himself up on his unsteady feet. Still holding his aching head, and with his stomach feeling like it might turn over any minute now, Sasuke drags himself to the bathroom and the shower.

Under the downpour of cool water Sasuke finally starts to get his bearings back – Kakashi is now the Hokage, and the assessment of his appeal is in two days. That information does nothing to lessen his headache.

Tsunade told Sasuke to keep his hands off the papers for the last few days before the Council meeting – she was sure he would just panic and start to reconstruct the whole thing the night before the hearing and that would only end up in a disaster. That means that Sasuke has nothing to do for today and tomorrow than to just sit there and get anxious about whether he caused a public scandal last night with the newly-appointed Hokage running after him, and if the Elders are going to get back at him for that.

Now he is sitting on a stool in his bathroom, tugging off the bandages that got wet in the shower, intending to replace them with new ones. Sasuke has one end of the dressing between his teeth while he fights the bandage with his right hand to get it around his bruised one – of course it was his dominant left hand that he was holding the glass with, of course it was.

Sasuke traces the cuts and wounds on his hands, the humidity in the bathroom making his hair curl at his neck. The injuries from last night are now closed and scabbed, starting to heal, but the skin is still tender, and he decides it’s better to bind the hand for protection.

He remembers Kakashi bandaging his hand almost delicately, his fingers working around Sasuke’s hand without any fuss, tracing the same lines Sasuke is studying now. Sasuke remembers the Sixth looking up at him with both exasperation and fondness, and he realises how open Kakashi has become with him – he doesn’t even try to hide the affection he holds Sasuke, and that fact makes Sasuke bite his lower lip and brush his thumb against a cut he remembers Kakashi tending yesterday.

But Sasuke refuses to let himself dream now. Lingering in the memories of last night won’t do him any good. He promised himself that he would deal with the assessment first before complicating their relationship – the only thing Sasuke needs to focus on now is preparing himself for the hearing.

And the ANBU position – what is he supposed to do with the mask Kakashi gave him? When is he supposed to start? Didn’t Kakashi say something about that yesterday?

He spends a few minutes full of cursing and embarrassed blushing to relive the memory of swearing his loyalty to a very unimpressed Kakashi who had said something about repeating the vow the next day. As in today.

As if on cue, there is someone knocking at the front door. Sasuke tucks the last of the bandage into a hurried knot and goes to see who it is, his hair still wet and dripping water on his clean t-shirt.

Once again, Sasuke finds an ANBU member standing behind his door. He recognises the lion mask decorated with golden stripes from last night. The first thing that comes to Sasuke’s mind is the uncomfortable question of whether this man, tall and muscular and _big_ , witnessed his outburst last night along with everybody else.

At least Lion shows no signs of this as he bows at Sasuke.

“Uchiha-san. The Hokage has requested your presence at his office as soon as possible.”

“Is this about the – “ Sasuke begins and makes a vague motion with his not-bandaged hand, not sure whether he is allowed to talk about his future position as the leader of the guard.

“The Hokage would like you to start in the position of the leader of the guard today, yes,” is the man’s patient answer. To Sasuke’s relief Lion’s voice is not exasperated at all, the opposite in fact, he sounds like he could be smiling.

After a few quick words, Sasuke retreats back into his house to get the robin mask and pull a dark sweater over his t-shirt – after such a beautiful and warm day yesterday, the weather is suddenly cool and windy and Sasuke is pretty sure it will rain later today. He runs a hand through his still damp hair, peeks a look at the mirror and decides that his head is a hopeless case. Sasuke snatches the white mask from the night table – luckily he had been enough in his right mind not to break the thing yesterday – and jogs bag to the front door where Lion is still waiting for him.

At Sasuke’s hasty nod Lion takes off and Sasuke follows him, gladly letting the ANBU take the lead. The celebration of yesterday can still be seen at the village – there are confetti and used fast food packages lying on the streets, waiting for a dozen of genin teams to come pick them up.

There is a stark contrast between the sunshine from yesterday and the dark, approaching rain clouds Sasuke can now see heading towards their way from the west. The grey weather of the day suits him just fine, his head is buzzing as it is without any bright sunlight to set him off.

They cross over the village, but against Sasuke’s expectations they don’t head to the Hokage Tower, but towards a nondescript building in the part of the village where the prison is located. When Sasuke steps through the doors after Lion with a hesitant look on his face, he finds himself in the ANBU headquarters.

Though Sasuke has been promised the position of the leader already, he is still put through a series of tests and exams. Lion walks him to a medical examination room, a sterile white space full of equipment, and hands Sasuke a pile of dark clothes among with the pieces of the light armour.

“Please put these on after the tests.”

After Sasuke takes the offered uniform, Lion leaves him at the mercy of a stern looking medic.

The medic doesn’t shy away from telling Sasuke to strip everything off and get on the cold examination table behind his back. And despite the fact that Sasuke isn’t that self-conscious about his body – he walked around in that white shirt he got from the Sound with no problem – something in the clean cold straightforwardness of the woman makes him feel awkward. He keeps his gaze glued to the ceiling, listening to all the sounds that echo in the bare room. The strong smell of disinfectant itches his nose.

Sasuke is tested everything he can think of and more. The medic inspects every part of him with a clinical interest, not even humming to give Sasuke any indication what the results are. She just writes something down on her papers after every check and moves on with the examination.

Finally, the medic tells him to put his clothes back on, but the tests don’t end there. Sasuke has his blood taken, his sight tested, his chakra pathways checked. He is given bottles of water to drink, and then he is presented with a plastic cup and a restroom. He has to run on a dread mill and do dozens of push-ups, pull-ups and crunches while the medic stands there with a timer in her hand.

By the time Sasuke is sweaty, panting and on the verge of vomiting because his hangover is not agreeing with this sort of exercise this early in the morning, the medic flaps the papers on her clipboard and nods curtly. They are done. She gestures towards the back of the room, telling him there is a shower there if he wants to use it. She disappears through the door, ordering him to go have his tattoo done next.

After another shower for this morning, Sasuke steps out of the room, wearing the ANBU uniform and holding his own clothes under his arm, and finds Lion leaning against the wall. The ANBU waves his hand to get Sasuke follow him, and Sasuke is walked to another nondescript room on the next floor. Lion tells him to sit down on a chair and wait, and soon after he leaves the room with a promise to take Sasuke’s clothes to the locker room, wherever that is, another man comes in and starts to work on the tattoo.

The man tells Sasuke to look elsewhere when the red swirl is etched on his left shoulder, but Sasuke doesn’t turn his gaze away. He doesn’t care about the pain, it’s more an itch anyway, but he wants to watch as he is permanently branded with the mark of Konoha. It goes against his every single instinct to have such a declaration of the village owning him on his skin when Sasuke hasn’t had any love for Konoha since he heard the truth about Itachi.

And he would push the needle away and crash the whole place if he didn’t remember his parents being so proud of Itachi when the boy came home for the first time with the ANBU mark on his shoulder. Sasuke remembers being six and climbing into Itachi’s bed that night after a nightmare though he was supposed to a big boy already and stay in his own room – Itachi curling his arm around him, eleven years old and so tiny, now that Sasuke thinks about it, but he had seemed so old and wise then. Sasuke had traced the lines of the red mark on his brother’s skin over and over again until he had slipped into sleep.

That memory is what Sasuke clings on to, because he fears that otherwise he might end up scratching his shoulder open to get the mark off.

After the tattoo is done, Lion walks into the room as the tattoo artist leaves.

“Please put the mask on,” he says and as Sasuke obeys, he wonders whether he was right last night and if this ANBU member is going to part of the guard. If he is supposed to be Sasuke’s _subordinate_.

“I’ll show you the locker room later, but now we must hurry. The others are probably already waiting for us.”

Before Sasuke can ask what he means by that, Lion has stepped outside, and Sasuke is forced to run after him.

Sasuke expects to be showed into another room smelling like a hospital, but this time Lion leads him to the front door of the headquarters and over the village towards the Hokage Tower. 

It’s only when Sasuke is walking behind Lion, a few steps from the door of the Hokage’s office that he realises that he is nervous. Nervous of getting the honour of becoming the leader of the guard, of standing in front of the shinobis that he is supposed to _lead_ when all of them have been in the ANBU far longer than he has – Sasuke started this morning, for fuck’s sake!

And there is this tingling feeling in the pit of his stomach, because bold, drunken vows aside, yesterday was different with Kakashi and him.

But Lion doesn’t give him time to get any cold feet – he pulls the door open and lets Sasuke into the office.

There are five people in the room – four in the white of the ANBU, their masks in place, and then there is Kakashi. He is leaning his hip against the massive table, the Hokage hat Sasuke knows Kakashi hates placed on the backrest of his chair. He stands out from the group in his black, sleeker version of jounin gear, idly twirling a kunai in his fingers.

Kakashi looks up at them when Sasuke and Lion walk in.

“For once it’s not me who’s late,” he chuckles and straightens his back, looping the kunai once around his finger before catching it in his palm and pocketing it in one swift movement.

“I’m sorry, sir”, Lion says and Sasuke, standing next to Lion’s right shoulder, sees it even with his mask obscuring the view that Lion bows his head slightly.

“Maa, don’t fret about it,” Kakashi smiles, waving his hand, though it’s clear from the way his brows arc that the fact that the ANBUs keep tripping over their feet trying to treat him like a high-born noble bothers him.

Sasuke studies the four other ANBUs in the room, two men and two women. On his right, closest to him is a man with a hare mask, skinny and dry and armed to teeth. Beside him is a familiar face – well, not a face, but a familiar mask. Eagle nods back at Sasuke, and this time Sasuke deigns to greet him as well.

The two women are standing on Sasuke’s left. Owl is already in her late forties by the looks of her – it’s a respectable feat to work in such a high position still in her age – and Otter standing next to her is almost a head shorter. There is something Naruto-like in her, like she has a hard time trying to stay in one place and not fidget.

With Lion added, they make five.

And Sasuke is the sixth.

In unison, the five ANBUs stand in attention when Kakashi gets up and takes a step forward. Sasuke hears a faint hiss on his left and when he glances at Lion, the man is waving his finger towards his own head – Sasuke interprets that he should probably take his mask off. While he proceeds to do just that, Kakashi gives the rest of the guard an exasperated once-over.

“Guys, guys, let’s not get so formal. Just because I got the stupid hat, it doesn’t mean that you have to start bowing at every turn.”

“Sorry, captain,” Otter chimes but doesn’t move an inch from her straight posture.

Kakashi rolls his eyes.

“Like that’s any better. I’ll throw the hat at the next one who dares to call me Lord Hokage and then accuse them of damaging property of the village.”

Snorts and chuckles fill the room and Sasuke remembers to let himself relax. He is so surprised to see yet another side of Kakashi – this is Kakashi with his ANBU comrades, both respected and joked at, and suddenly Sasuke knows that he doesn’t belong in here. He is an outsider, a newcomer that has been put in the middle of this tight group of friends.

He feels like a kid in the middle of all these battle-hardened soldiers and assassins, and he would bite his lip if he hadn’t just taken the mask off. This is ridiculous – why would Kakashi choose _him_ to lead his guard when he could have picked anyone out of these five? Won’t Sasuke look just like a teacher’s pet who let it get over his head?

Kakashi turns towards him, a ghost of grin still on his face. It’s the first time he has really looked Sasuke in the eye since last night.

“So, this is the bunch of merry men I’m burdening you with,” Kakashi declares, waving his hand in an arc to indicate all of the ANBUs, a twinkle in his eyes and laughter in his words.

“Captain!” Otter butts in again while the rest of the guard burst into laughter.

“Sorry, sorry,” Kakashi chuckles and scratches the back of his head. “The bunch of merry men and _women_. Idiots, all of them.”

“Thank you, captain,” comes in Otter’s voice once again, and this time even Sasuke lets the grin spread on his face.

“I’ll let you get to know these guys better later,” Kakashi says, rolling his shoulders back from his usual slouch, and meets Sasuke’s gaze head on. “But why I really summoned you here is that we need to have you sworn in.”

In any other situation Sasuke would have retorted something along the lines of “Wow, I would never have guessed” but he is nervous in front of these people, like a fish out of water. And Kakashi is so clearly one of them while Sasuke is not. He feels like Kakashi is out of his reach, in a world where Sasuke has no access to.

Sasuke goes with just nodding, his cold fingers clutching the robin mask that had felt so meaningful and significant yesterday and still this morning, and now Sasuke just wants to give it back to Kakashi and bolt out of the room because obviously he doesn’t belong here.

“You know that I’m not one for big ceremonies or traditions, but the swearing-in of the leader has usually been a bit of a spectacle,” Kakashi explains, looking almost embarrassed. “That is why these guys are here.”

Sasuke manages another stiff nod, afraid to say anything because he feels like anything he might say would sound childish.

“Traditionally the Hokage gives the leader their mask after their vow, so I have to take it back. This is stupid, I know, considering I just gave it to you yesterday, but let’s go by the book this once.”

Kakashi extends a hand towards Sasuke’s mask, and after one awkward second Sasuke realises to give it over, his movements twitchy and hasty.

Sasuke thought that he was over this – this feeling he used to have with his brother.

Itachi had always been the better child, the more suitable heir, the more skilled ninja, and though Sasuke’s parents might not have intended to compare their children, Sasuke had felt that he was always held up to a standard he was supposed to reach. And even with countless hours of hard work and training, Sasuke had always known that he would never be as good as Itachi.

He had struggled with that knowledge for the rest of his life, feeling inadequate – he has just masked his low self-esteem with his faked arrogance.

And now Sasuke wonders if he will be good enough to lead this guard. The answer his mind produces makes his shoulders tense – the tender skin on his left one stings with pain.

Kakashi stands in the middle of the room as the Sixth Hokage, so different from the Kakashi Sasuke has grown to know, Sasuke’s robin mask in his hand. Lion starts the vow, telling Sasuke to repeat the words after him.

Sasuke’s voice feels too loud in the tight space of seven shinobis occupying the room. He doesn’t dare to look any of them in the eye, instead Sasuke keeps his gaze on one particular seam of Kakashi’s vest, feeling ridiculous.

Sasuke is scared that he will somehow fuck this up too – he’s so young to be in such an important position, he’s turning only twenty-one in July.

But Kakashi was an ANBU when he was thirteen, and Itachi was two years younger than him when he joined.

But neither of them was never this high up in the pecking order.

Or Kakashi would have been, had Minato lived. But he didn’t.

But while Kakashi might have his advisors and his friends from the ANBU force at his side, he asked Sasuke to have his back, and from a man like Kakashi, that is the greatest honour Sasuke can ever receive. So what can Sasuke do but to vow in front of all these people to guard him with his life.

When Sasuke finishes, Kakashi smiles at him. And while Sasuke feels that with the Hokage position hanging heavily between them Kakashi is slipping through his fingers like rest of Team 7, he tries to smile back.

Or Sasuke would have, if Lion hadn’t wrapped an arm around his shoulders and messed up his hair while Otter hurled herself on Hare to fight over the right to come introduce herself to Sasuke first.

And so, with his skin raw and his head still aching from his hangover, with his thoughts more of a mess than they have ever been, Sasuke starts his career as an ANBU of Konoha.

 

o0o

 

 _The 15th of May, the fifth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, The Land of Fire_

“ – since the complainant was only a child during the time of the massacre, we consider his request to be caused by sentimental reasons only. We also have to remember the fact that the complainant did abandoned the village, though he has since returned to our ranks.

_Three._

“The Council won’t risk the integrity of the village by revealing the Third Hokage’s agreement on Uchiha Itachi’s mission. If such actions were taken, they would only cause needless confusion and discredit to the Third’s good name. There is no need to drive a wedge between the village authorities and the citizens.”

_Two._

“We also have to think of the safety and good of the village. Considering the severity of the massacre and the village’s involvement in it, the revelation of such information could affect our relationships with the other Shinobi Countries. The Council can’t risk losing allies or falling out of the Shinobi Alliance because of this.”

_One._

“And so, the Council has come to the decision that there will be no public acknowledgement of the involvement of the village of Konohagakure in the Uchiha massacre. Shimura Danzou is considered the sole culprit behind the massacre, as was stated in our earlier agreement last August.”

Sasuke stares at the wall in the back of the room over the heads of the Council members, his heartbeat the only thing pulsing in his ears in the otherwise silent room.

They won’t do it.

Months of preparation, years of trying to get justice for his clan, all of it for nothing. They won’t do it. They won’t reveal the truth.

Sasuke closes his eyes.

They are cowards, all of them, hiding behind their flimsy excuses. _Fall out of the Shinobi Alliance?_ Konoha is one of the strongest villages – the Alliance won’t kick them out no matter what dark secrets they might have. And there is no village that hasn’t done something to its old clans. Konoha is one of many, and not one of a kind.

Cowards. Spineless cowards, shitting their pants at the thought of admitting that they were wrong.

Sasuke has stood there for hours, since the first light of the morning to the late hours of the night, first presenting his plea in painful detail and then waiting and watching as the people he has worked with for months shoot down every last one of his suggestions.

And the Elders dared to mock him while they were at it – behind their every word there was an insult towards him. They called Sasuke too young, too hot-headed or straight up traitor to the village. And when the Sixth had been forced to leave the room for five minutes because a message from the Daimyou had arrived, the Elders had taken their chance. They had started to ridicule Sasuke about him clinging to the Hokages because apparently, he couldn’t do anything by himself. Luckily, Kakashi had come back before the Elders had had the time to humiliate Sasuke about what happened during the inauguration party.

And after all that mockery, all of which Sasuke weathered through with gritted teeth, they refuse his plea.

Sasuke knew that this was the most probable outcome, but he hadn’t realised that the Elders would make such a fool out of him while the clan heads just sat there and watched in silence. Kakashi had tried to stop them – he could be so frightening speaking in a calm voice and with a fake smile on his masked face – but he couldn’t jump to Sasuke’s defence at every turn. He couldn’t show favouritism during the first few days he was in power. Their past as a teacher and a student had the Council crying already about Kakashi being biased – they didn’t need to have anything else to fuel their fire.

Sasuke wonders if taking over Konoha and destroying it to pieces would still have been easier than this.

Someone’s pen falls on the table, and that wakes Sasuke from his trance. He blinks, refuses to let himself flinch, and collects all his papers neatly into his arms.

“Thank you for your time,” he says in an empty, completely level voice, his face devoid of any emotion. He does not look any of the Council members into the eye as he keeps his back straight and hoists the pile of papers in his arms. Sasuke won’t let it show how much they got to him, how much they hurt him, how angry and upset he is – he won’t let himself break down in front of all these pretentious people.

Sasuke swirls around on his feet and walks out of the room – he can see Kakashi standing up at his end of the table, but that doesn’t stop him.

When the door closes behind him, Sasuke gives in to his anger. He tosses the papers into the first crash bin he comes across, and as he storms through the Hokage Tower, he does it with doors banging in his wake. Sharingan flares in his eyes and electric sparks dance in the air around him as he marches down the last hallway and out to the village.

Sasuke is livid.

Right now he feels that the black flames of his amaterasu glowing against the setting sun would be the only rightful end for this rotten hellhole of a village.

Rage boils his blood. His sharingan spins out of control. The view over the sea of rooftops turns from warm orange to black and red and back again. Anger tastes metallic in his mouth.

He wants to burn something. Tear something apart. Fight somebody until he can no longer move.

Sasuke leaps to the rooftops and heads towards the Uchiha district. He gets himself to the farthest corner of the district, near the woods surrounding Konoha, and lets it all out.

His chakra flares in the abandoned part of the village, damaging the decaying houses, burning the wood and scorching the ground under his feet.

The sky above is him turning black and his chidori glows blue in the district, turning his skin sickly pale. The bright light gleams back from the glass windows. Chidori, not released only from his hand, but from his entire body doesn’t just scream anymore – it’s a deep, thundering roar in the night.

How dare they ridicule him like this?

Sasuke hisses and growls, shooting sparks of chakra mindlessly. How dare the Elders say that his clan doesn’t matter? How dare they claim that the village is so much more important than the lives of his clan members, his family, his parents? His mother and father, his brother.

There’s pressure in the air – his hair is almost floating in the air as the electric charge sizzles in the district. Sasuke can almost taste the electricity. 

Sasuke wishes that Naruto was in the village and still friends with him because he needs somebody to fight with – he needs to release all of this in battle, he doesn’t want to think of anything else but his punches and kicks and his next move.

But he _has_ someone he can ask – someone better than Naruto.

With that thought Sasuke takes off and leaves behind a smoking district.

o0o

It’s a warm night and Kakashi has a window open. That means that he has already returned home from the meeting.

Sasuke climbs through the window with almost feline grace and lands himself on the cool kitchen floor, his steps soundless. A spark of chakra leaps from his fingertips and dies out on the floor.

The lights are on in the room, but there is no sight or sound of the dogs being in the apartment tonight. There is a pile of cardboard boxes stacked in one corner, and the countertops and the table are surprisingly empty – Kakashi has already started to pack his things.

After a lot of whining from Kakashi and a few choice threats from Tsunade, Kakashi had agreed to move from his cosy apartment to the Hokage residence in the east wing of the Hokage Tower. Kakashi hadn’t wanted to – he felt it was such a waste to give such a large and expensive suite to him when he would be just fine in his own little home. He didn’t like it when people bowed at him and called him Lord Hokage, he would loath living in such a lavish apartment.

In the end, Kakashi had given up because of practical reasons. The residence in the Tower was easier to protect and defend than his little flat in the middle of the village, and that would mean less work for his ANBUs and the rest of the staff. Though Kakashi had started complaining that he didn’t need to be protected, that he was fine on his own – wasn’t that why they had given him the damned title anyway – and that it was so wrong on so many levels that he would suddenly be so much more important than the other villagers just because he was supposed the wear the stupid hat. Tsunade hadn’t given in to him even an inch – Kakashi could either move now or give the Elders a reason to bitch about how he was unfit to be a Hokage.

And so, Kakashi is moving.

It is almost jarring to see the apartment so bare. Sasuke is used to the sight of newspapers with coffee stains spread on the table, the dogs’ bowls sitting in one corner on the floor, the old radio singing on the counter. This place has become more a home to Sasuke than the large house in the district, and it is distressing to see that it will be gone soon. It won’t be as easy to just walk into Kakashi’s new place whenever Sasuke feels like it.

Sasuke takes a few steps into the room, walking up to the table. He notices a pile of documents on it, a thick pile. When he takes a closer look, he realises what they are.

His notes, his research for the plea. Kakashi saved them.

Sasuke is playing with one torn corner of the papers when Kakashi walks into the kitchen. He is tugging on a white t-shirt, his midriff still bare. There is a light surgical mask on his face, his hair is ruffled and messy like he is ready to go to bed, but his eyes turn sharp when he spots Sasuke.

Sasuke just watches him, his chakra crackling and sizzling around him, feeling that if he moves he will explode.

Kakashi lets out a sigh and his shoulders sag in relief.

”I was worried,” he says in a quiet voice, his gaze not straying from Sasuke’s. _That you had left again_. ”And I’m sorry about what the Council did to you. I wish I could have done something.”

”They made a fool out of me,” Sasuke whispers, though his words sound more like a hiss. He looks up at Kakashi, searching for something – hoping that Kakashi would have a magic trick he could fix this with.

“You have made more changes to the village than they have during their whole lifetime,” Kakashi tells him. “They’re scared of you.”

Sasuke scoffs, crosses his arms and walks over to Kakashi.

”It sure didn’t look like it.”

”They have nothing else to use against you but cruel words. This isn’t the end. You can try again."

“I’m not sure whether I want to keep trying. Why would I willingly let them continue to toy with me when I know that I will never get what I want?”

“Would you be happy to allow the Elders to win then?” Kakashi asks, leans his weight on one hip and regards Sasuke with a quirked brow.

“I just don’t care, Kakashi. I honestly don’t care,” Sasuke breathes out, his words harsh, and closes his eyes. Blue sparks zap at his fingers.

He hears Kakashi take a deep breath.

”You should go home and sleep all that anger off.”

”I don’t want to go home.”

”Or you can sleep on the couch,” Kakashi sighs, almost exasperated at Sasuke’s bullheadedness, and turns around to go fetch the blankets.

Sasuke grabs his wrist.

”I don’t want to sleep on the couch.”

Kakashi just stops for a moment, frozen in place, his body tensing, before he turns around to face Sasuke. His mouth is pressed into a thin line behind the light mask, his right is eye dark and his left one swirling and of the colour of blood.

”Sasuke,” he starts, stressing the name, his arm stiff in Sasuke’s grip. “We can’t do this now. It’s not that I don’t want to, but you’re not –”

But Sasuke has lost almost everything that was his to lose, and he is tired of denying himself the one thing he can have.

He closes the already short distance between them, his chest pressing against Kakashi’s. Sasuke raises his hand, removes the straps of Kakashi’s surgical mask from behind his ears and throws the mask away, not glancing where he tosses it.

“ – thinking straight,” Kakashi finishes after a stunned silence, his words hesitant and eyes wide.

”Shut up,” Sasuke growls and kisses him.

He more or less shoves Kakashi against the counter behind them, and he can feel sparks of his chakra running up his arms. There's a yelp of surprise from Kakashi when his back hits the counter and Sasuke takes the opportunity of his mouth opening, slips his tongue in Kakashi’s mouth and tugs the light hair with his fingers.

Kakashi draws back a little, his hands on Sasuke’s hips, his fingers diggings into his side, torn between thrusting Sasuke away and pulling him closer.

“We really shouldn’t – “

“I don’t care,” Sasuke says and kisses him again.

He is not gentle, he doesn’t have the patience to be now. The kiss is a clash of teeth and anger and need, his fist still gripping Kakashi’s shirt. Kakashi’s body is tense, he is barely responding, he’s trying to hold himself back, but when Sasuke tilts his head to the side to deepen the kiss and steps even closer so that their hips are touching and his leg is almost between Kakashi’s, Kakashi groans into his mouth, gives in, and yanks Sasuke towards him.

It’s not until Sasuke bites Kakashi’s lower lip and tries to slip his hand under his shirt that Kakashi gets hold of himself again, and this time he pushes Sasuke off more abruptly. He seems to be angry at himself as scrutinizes Sasuke with a blank expression, his chest heaving.

And as Sasuke watches Kakashi while trying to catch his own breath, he wonders if he has just ruined this relationship for good too.

The view in front of him is still tainted with red.

”Turn the sharingan off,” Kakashi commands, his voice deep and low and far more even than Sasuke deems appropriate.

Sasuke blinks at him slowly like a cat.

”Turn it off, now,” his Hokage warns him again, growing angry, and he grabs Sasuke’s arms to get him let go of his shirt. Kakashi’s fingernails claw marks in Sasuke's wrist as he holds him in place.

Sasuke takes a look at Kakashi's stern expression, the one that is usually reserved only for truly dangerous enemies or Sasuke himself when he has done something exceptionally stupid like left the village, and he waves goodbye to any ideas he might have had about releasing his anger through sex.

With a growl Sasuke closes his eyes to get the sharingan to calm down. When he is sure that he has his chakra under control, Sasuke raises his head arrogantly, his chin high, to face Kakashi’s inevitable rejection and disappointment and the loss of the only friendship he had left.

But this time it’s his turn to be the one pressed against the counter. Kakashi flips them around and claims Sasuke’s mouth with his own, not holding back, his hands on Sasuke’s sides, on his neck, in his hair. Sasuke finds himself lifted on the countertop, and in his haste to pull Kakashi towards him and wrap his legs around his hips, he hits his head on the cabinet behind him. Pain blooms at the back of his neck, making him curse into the kiss and his breath hitch in his throat.

Shivers run down Sasuke’s spine along with Kakashi’s fingers when Kakashi runs a calloused hand under his shirt. Sasuke yanks him towards himself until they are so close together Sasuke can feel the effect he has on the other man. And it’s so easy to slip his hand Kakashi’s trousers – the grunt and the dark look Kakashi gives him make Sasuke smirk, though Kakashi takes his revenge by doing the same exact thing to him.

“Do you think we should go – ” Sasuke asks between kisses, his voice rough and husky against Kakashi’s mouth.

“Yeah,” is the reply and then they are stumbling towards the bedroom, tripping over each other’s feet, their hands never letting go, their lips rarely leaving the other’s.

Though Sasuke is very occupied with other things, he manages to note that the bedroom is still exactly like it has been for the past year, stacked with books, dog toys and little else. The familiar bed just fit for two is still there, he notices with a beginning of a grin, but then Kakashi claims his mouth again and Sasuke is happy to think of nothing else but him.

Tossing their clothes on the floor doesn’t take long – when Kakashi pulls off his own shirt, Sasuke is already attacking the man’s trousers and they keep swatting each other’s hands away when they both tackle the buttons of Sasuke’s fancy shirt – he had to dress nicely for the hearing, but now the quite expensive shirt is thrown on the floor without a second thought.

Sasuke backs to the bed, his knees hitting the edge, and he lets himself fall onto it. Kakashi follows after, climbing on top of him and pressing him against the mattress. He had Sasuke by his wrists, but he changes his hold – he places one hand near Sasuke’s head to balance himself, the other he moves so that he can join their hands, palm against palm, their fingers tangled together.

Sasuke looks up to see the hooded, mismatched eyes watching him, and he presses a kiss on the corner of Kakashi’s mouth, and from there on the end of the scar. He moves his hip, gets a groan in return, and while they might be soon moving in sync with each other, their hips touching, Kakashi’s weight heavy on him, he kisses every inch of that scar, his lips light on the fluttering eyelid.

There is a hot mouth on his neck, and then Kakashi is trailing kisses down his chest, his stomach and lower. And when there is a mouth on him, Sasuke almost withers on the bed – he grabs the sheets with one hand, curling his fingers into a tight fist, and covers his eyes with his other arm. He digs his toes in the mattress, wanting to both fold and straightens his legs, and something might escape his lips – swears and curses and maybe Kakashi’s name – because he feels like he can’t stand it anymore.

When Sasuke comes, he sees white.

He is still shaking and heaving for breath when he pulls Kakashi back to him, moving his hand downwards to help him, and Kakashi comes soon after with only a muffled “Fuck” groaned against Sasuke’s neck.

When Kakashi has enough strength to push himself on his arms again, he looks down at Sasuke, both of them breathless and smiling – and Sasuke’s smile turns into a grin when Kakashi kisses him again, slowly and with no care in the world.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep on the couch tonight?” Kakashi asks him then, chuckling before he presses a kiss into Sasuke’s damp hair and pulls away from him to land on his side next to Sasuke.

“What?” Sasuke asks, his thought still one big, hazy mess. Then he gets it. “No. No, I think I like it here just fine,” he says and starts laughing. It’s an honest, free, laugh because he is too tired to care about the Council or the Elders right now, he can deal with it tomorrow. He is just happy to be here now.

Kakashi smiles at him and reaches over with his hand to tangle his fingers into Sasuke’s hair again, playing with a long lock that usually frames Sasuke’s face. Sasuke raises his own hand to wrap his fingers around Kakashi’s wrist. Kakashi changes their grip till he has Sasuke’s hand in his.

And that is how Sasuke falls asleep, with Kakashi drawing circles on his skin, and a light feeling pulsing in his chest.


	25. Weightlessness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this is the third time in row that we start with Sasuke waking up, but I promise this is the last time for a while, and I think this is the morning you guys want to see. Also, the editing on this chapter might be a little crappy, but I was in a hurry. I was supposed to spend a couple of more days on this, but then I realised it's Sasuke's birthday today, and then I just had to post this chapter today. 
> 
> So happy birthday, Sasuke, you idiot. You get to be happy for a change.

 

_The 16th of May, the fifth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

The first thought Sasuke has when he wakes up is that he has no idea if he should have been at the ANBU headquarters briefing his team already an hour ago.

It’s that uncomfortable, chilling feeling of something being wrong that really shakes him from his dreams. Sasuke snaps his eyes open, squinting at the night table to see where the alarm clock is – he doesn’t know what time it is, whether he is late already or up too early.

Sasuke has been sleeping on his side, the covers tucked under his arm, his toes peeking from under the hem of the blanket. Now he pushes himself up on his elbow, looking for the clock, and the skin on his neck feels sore for some reason when he cranes his neck.

It’s only when he realises that there is no alarm clock – or even his nightstand for that matter – that Sasuke understands that he is not at home.

He is in Kakashi’s apartment.

In Kakashi’s bedroom.

In Kakashi’s bed.

Refusing even to flinch at his discovery, Sasuke clenches his jaw and glances down, first at his bare chest and then under the covers, and confirms his hunch. He is not wearing anything.

As his mind draws a blank, Sasuke turns around on his other side and sees the sleeping, naked man next to him. Kakashi is still lost to the world, sleeping soundly with his back to Sasuke so that Sasuke can’t see his face. His chest is rising and falling in a slow, relaxed rhythm.

Sasuke stares at him for a while, not thinking about anything, his gaze fixed on the point of Kakashi’s neck where his hair fans over his skin. Sasuke is close enough, lying there next to Kakashi, that he feels his warmth and could touch the light hair if he moved his hand a little. He is bewildered enough that his brain decides to produce only useless notions like _Kakashi is usually always up before_ _him_ instead of coming up with anything rational to do in this situation.

Sasuke is stuck in the limbo of his heart singing _finally_ with the steady rhythm of his pulse and his mind screaming out loud each and every one of the reasons why this is wrong.

He had a reason for staying away, and even if he had toyed with the thought of giving in and trusting in their relationship, it hadn’t been for him to throw everything away by sleeping with Kakashi when he was so angry and out of control.

The memories of last night are hazy and full of hurt and anger – Sasuke refuses to dwell on the decision of the Council right now, but the knowledge still burns and simmers under the panic of waking up in a same bed with the man he has sworn not to lose.

Especially when Sasuke remembers being so harsh with Kakashi – remembers walking up to him, _demanding_ him and not backing down, remembers Kakashi's angry voice hissing at his sharingan, his harsh grip on Sasuke. Sasuke’s own need to just tear somebody apart to get rid of his anger. Out of all the ways he could have done this, he chose the worst one possible.

With a quick, shivering intake of breath Sasuke tries to bury his doubts – Kakashi could have shoved him away if he didn't want it, right? It’s not like Sasuke has ever beaten him in a fight.

But it's always Sasuke starting these things between them, needing somebody to use so he can forget – and how unfair is that? How is this different from their first time? After everything they had been building together, learning to trust each other, slowly heading towards something, Sasuke does this. He had been ready to talk about what happened with Naruto and Sakura and Sai – he had been pretty sure that it would end in Kakashi calling him a hopeless idiot before shaking his head at him and kissing him, unceremoniously putting an end to this ridiculousness.

Kakashi is bathing in the morning sunlight that peeks through the half-shut window blinds. Even though Kakashi has his back to Sasuke and his blanket drawn to his waist, Sasuke can still see his shape – sleek and dangerous, his hips narrow and shoulders broad. There are memories of all his battles spread all over his skin, and his white hair almost glows in the sunlight. Sasuke has seen how Kakashi’s pale lashes turn almost translucent when the sun hits them, and he isn’t certain whether it’s a bad thing that he can’t see them now.

His head and heart want different things and Sasuke can’t focus.

Sasuke climbs from the bed as quietly as he can, lowering his feet on the floor one by one, making sure that the floorboards don’t squeak under him. Sasuke grabs his clothes from the floor – they are still there, lying in heaps and piles where they scattered them last night in their hurry. He tugs on his trousers in silence, collects the rest of the clothes in his arms and sneaks out from the room.

He closes the door of the bedroom behind him – but for all the hours and days he has spent in this apartment, he isn’t that familiar with the bedroom door, and the damn thing screeches when Sasuke tries to shut it as quietly as he can.

Sasuke stops in his tracks. He isn’t running away, he knows that he has to face Kakashi sooner or later, but he needs a few minutes to himself before he can have a rational conversation about what they are going to do now, and all this sneaking around makes heartbeat speed up.

There’s a muffled sound of Kakashi turning on the bed, rustling the sheets, and a screech from the bed, but the apartment goes silent after that. Sasuke counts to ten, listening for any sounds that might indicate Kakashi heard him leave and is coming after him, but when there is nothing but silence, he tugs on his clothes with a relieved sigh.

Sasuke wanders to the kitchen yet again and refuses to look anywhere near the countertop he was sitting last night with Kakashi’s hands under his shirt. He doesn’t glance at his papers that are still there on the table either. Sasuke bites his lip. He is too nervous to eat – his stomach might turn over if he touches anything.

Sasuke walks over to a pile of moving boxes that are stacked near the window and sits down on them after checking it’s not the kitchenware he is putting his weight on. He looks at the window, watching the view of the village in the morning with its colourful rooftops and flocks of birds flying over the still quiet streets. Sasuke can see that the sun has just risen from the east, and if nothing else, he can reassure himself that he is not late from work yet.

This time Kakashi and he can’t move on like their night together meant nothing. Sasuke doesn’t want it to mean nothing. He is just ashamed of himself for being so rash and harsh.

Sasuke hears the bedroom door open, the same screech gives it away, and then there are Kakashi’s hesitant steps as he walks to the kitchen. He stops at the living room first, then at the hallway, and only then does he find his way to where Sasuke is.

Kakashi appears at the doorway, his eyes wider than they usually are.

”I thought you had left,” he says. He is sizing Sasuke up in the same way he does with an enemy in a battlefield, wary and trying to come up with a strategy. He somehow looks the part, even with a bruise on his neck and wearing only his trousers from last night. He must have just snatched and pulled them on before he came to look for Sasuke – they’re barely hanging there, low on his hips.

“I thought about it.”

Kakashi takes a few seconds to stare at him in silence.

“Why?” he asks, confused, and it must be the most vulnerable sound he has ever made, at least when Sasuke has been there to hear.

“I was so angry yesterday. Forceful,” Sasuke begins and the words feel heavy on his tongue. He raises his chin up on an instinct because he is feeling afraid and weak, and pretending to be confident is what he has been taught to do in a situation like that.  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have – “

“I would have stopped you if I hadn’t wanted it,” Kakashi butts in. Now he is back to his own self, his deep voice sharp and firm as he looks at Sasuke with all the authority of the Hokage.

“I still shouldn’t have – “

“You shouldn’t have. And I shouldn’t have gone along with it when I knew that you weren’t yourself,” Kakashi states, steady and serious. “I’m sorry for that too. But I’m not angry at you. And for the record, I don’t want you to leave either.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am. I don’t regret it. I do wish that we hadn’t been so sudden and careless about this whole thing, but no. I don’t regret it.”

Sasuke’s hands are almost shaking. He hasn’t ruined this.

“It’s a high time that we put a stop to this whole dancing around each other thing, don’t you think?” Kakashi chuckles, suddenly so much more relaxed, and there is a lop-sided grin on his face. He runs a hand through his mess of a hair. “Come back to bed. It’s far too early to be up, and I could use some more sleep.”

Sasuke doesn’t move anywhere from his spot perched on the moving boxes, one foot on the floor to stay balanced.

“What is it?” Kakashi asks, letting his hand drop and his shoulders tense. He furrows his brows and his mouth is a thin line as he studies Sasuke. “There is something else, isn’t there? That’s why you said no before the inauguration.”

Sasuke has no excuse not to tell him and no will to keep pretending everything is alright.

So, it is here, in Kakashi’s kitchen, just after the sunrise, with only the pale light from the window lighting up the space, that Sasuke tells Kakashi everything. Sasuke tells him how he let Naruto kiss him because he wanted to get back at Kakashi, how he left Naruto the one morning he shouldn’t have, how powerless he was to keep Sakura’s heart from breaking. How he stood there and watched his team fall apart and realised that he couldn’t lose Kakashi too. It’s hard to admit how alone he has been, but it’s a relief to tell about Sai, to curse and vent and hiss because how dare he do this to Sasuke.

“I’m just so fucking tired,” Sasuke admits after everything else has been said, almost angry, looking Kakashi straight in the eye, “of losing everyone.”

Kakashi studies him from the other side of the room where he stayed the whole time Sasuke spoke, not moving or saying anything. Though Sasuke has had the right to see his face for over a year now and has learned to read Kakashi quite well during that time, now Sasuke can’t interpret his expression at all.

As Kakashi walks closer, Sasuke can’t bear to look at him anymore. He turns his head away, shamed, his hair swaying over his face with the sharp motion.

Kakashi stops in front of him, now standing in the sunlight instead of the shadowy corner of the room.

“Look at me.”

Sasuke keeps his gaze on the floor, curling his fingers around the edge of the box he is sitting on, pressing his nails into the cardboard hard enough to leave dents. He doesn’t want to face the disappointment that will surely be in Kakashi’s eyes. It’s the only thing he has ever got from anyone when he has given up and admitted having a weakness – his father, Orochimaru, Kakashi himself years ago, sometimes even Itachi.

“Look at me,” Kakashi says again, this time more gently.

When Sasuke still refuses to do so, Kakashi brings up a hand, so slowly that Sasuke would have time to push it away or dodge, and places a finger under his chin, turning Sasuke to face him.

“I know that you’re scared, and I’m not saying that you have no reason to be. But not every relationship is the same. Even if it didn’t work out with you and Naruto, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try again,” Kakashi tells him, his expression impossibly gentle. “And you haven’t lost them. Naruto is physically unable not to forgive you, let me tell you that. And I really think you should go see Sakura.”

“You know something,” Sasuke quips back and narrows his eyes. Focusing on Kakashi’s advice about Sakura feels a lot safer thing to do than thinking about the rest Kakashi said.

“I just might,” Kakashi grins at him and lets go of Sasuke now that he has him looking at him. “And what comes to Sai – he has his own issues that explain a lot of why he behaves as he does, but he shouldn’t act that way towards you. I did guess that he wouldn’t be that excited about your return, but I never thought that he would get this aggressive.”

“Well, you’re not the only one who had no idea. Naruto and Sakura seem to be blind to it as well.”

“When I know how unobservant they both are sometimes, that’s not exactly reassuring,” Kakashi deadpans and gets a chuckle out of Sasuke. “Hey, I’m supposed to be the former ANBU captain here.”

Though it’s quite close to summer already, the apartment is still quite cool this early in the morning, and Sasuke wonders how Kakashi, half-naked, is not shivering. Then he wonders if the dogs are in the apartment and how much they might have heard of this.

Kakashi is still thinking about the situation with Sai.

“I could have a word with him about this. Or do you want to handle him yourself?”

Sasuke really doesn’t want anything to do with Sai, but he doesn’t want Kakashi to fight his battles for him either. Especially when Sai already thought Kakashi and he were together – Sasuke doesn’t need Sai accusing him of trying to drive Team 7 completely apart by turning everybody against each other.

“I’ll talk to him.”

Kakashi relaxes at his words.

“Good. You guys don’t have to like each other, but I would like you two to at least tolerate one another.”

“Hn.” 

Kakashi pokes Sasuke right in the middle of his chest with his index finger, and it’s like he is calling Sasuke an idiot just by doing that.

“But what all of this boils down to is that you have the one flaw that you think that keeping things to yourself is the only way to go. I know it, because I’m the same and I’m well aware of it, so you don’t get to call me a hypocrite,” Kakashi chuckles and quickly draws his hand back when Sasuke tries to swat his fingers away. “We’re a team, we have always been. Talk to somebody when you have problems. As bull-headed and broken-hearted Naruto and Sakura might be, they will still be here for you when you need them. Even if they’re angry at you.”

“Not so sure about that,” Sasuke mutters, rolling his eyes, but Kakashi will have none of that. He grabs his chin again, raising Sasuke’s head until their eyes meet.

“They _will_ , and you would have to be stupid not to know that,” Kakashi states, almost exasperated. His fingers are warm and calloused on Sasuke’s skin – he’s holding Sasuke in place with only a light touch, demanding all his attention. “And I’m always here. Even if we don’t work out and you leave me the most horrible way possible, I’ll still be there to save your ass from whatever trouble you have got yourself into. Understood?”

Sasuke nods, fearing that he will choke on his words, but Kakashi doesn’t seem happy until he says it out loud.

“I know.”

Kakashi lets his shoulders drop, heaving a sigh, a sad smile at the corner of his mouth. He lets go of Sasuke’s chin to move his hand to his neck like he did a few days ago. His palm is warm against Sasuke’s jawline, his fingertips tangled in the soft dark hair.

“I just wish that you had told me all of this the moment I came back,” he says and twirls a lock of Sasuke’s hair around his finger. 

The famous short temper of the Uchiha clan kicks in yet again.

“How was I supposed to do that when the last thing you did before you left was to reject me? You couldn’t have been clearer about that even if you had said it to my face,” Sasuke growls and it’s an old, deep hurt that speaks in his words. Up until the moment Kakashi had walked away from him at the arena, his life had been so much simpler. Now Sasuke looks back at that moment and sees it as the catalyst to all the missteps that almost lost him his team and broke his heart three times over. “Why did you do that?”

“I saw how Naruto looked at you. You didn’t push him away. I thought that you would be happier with him,” Kakashi sighs and closes his eyes, leaning his forehead against Sasuke’s. He’s tired. “You guys are made for each other, and I’m just an old fool who has made so many mistakes with you already. Too many. You deserved better, someone like Naruto. I thought it best to get out of the way.”

“So you decided to take the choice that should have been mine away from me. Which one of us keeps things to himself and doesn’t talk, hm?”

“Pots and kettles, that’s what we are,” Kakashi laughs, a short, sad sound, before he grows serious again. “But I guess I did. Take your choice away.”

“And look how well that turned out,” Sasuke scoffs but doesn’t really mean it. He shakes his head when he sees Kakashi trying to apologise, and presses a finger on Kakashi’s mouth when he still won’t take the hint and shut up.

He does let Kakashi take his hand into his own.

They both look down at their hands, fingers intertwined together. Kakashi brushes his thumb against Sasuke’s palm before he glances up at him, almost embarrassed, a forced smile on his face, his other hand tucked in the pocket of his trousers.

“Ah well, I guess that if I had kissed you back there in the arena, we could have avoided all of this,” he says and looks exactly like he would like to scratch the back of his head.

“You should have done that,” Sasuke breathes out and closes his eyes. There is some kind of finality in that statement, it’s something he has needed to admit out loud for a long while. He has said everything he has wanted to say during the last few months, no, the whole last year, and he feels that Kakashi has told him what he had to say too.

When Sasuke opens his eyes again, Kakashi is looking at him, his fingers warm around Sasuke’s, his eyes hopeful and kind and gentle.

“Let’s try.”

Kakashi’s hair is fanning over his eyes and his mouth is quirking up a little bit on the left corner in a way that can’t be seen when he has the mask on. Now he doesn’t look like the Sixth Hokage or the son of the White Fang, or even Sasuke’s former teacher. He looks like himself, just himself, with his rumpled trousers and hickeys adorning his skin.

And Sasuke can’t really come up with a reason to say no.

“Okay.”

Somehow, he expects the world to stop and the earth to shake because he agreed to the one thing he has been denying himself, but when the ground doesn’t open up under him and swallow him whole, Sasuke decides that maybe this will be alright.

“Okay,” Kakashi repeats, humming, and raises Sasuke’s hand so he can press a light kiss on the tender skin on the inside of his wrist, his eyes still locked with Sasuke’s.

Sasuke tries a tentative smile that soon turns into a grin, because it’s been a while since he has felt this good about anything and damn it if he isn’t going to take the most out of it. And since he is finally allowed to, he leans forward, closes his eyes and kisses Kakashi.

Despite the fact that it really isn’t their first kiss, it doesn’t even make anywhere near the first ten, it feels like it’s the first. The kiss is made of air, just his lips pressed against Kakashi’s – more the corner of his mouth, to be honest – until Kakashi kisses him back and does it properly, slowly and taking his time. Sasuke might just forgive each and every one of the bumps in their way here because he hasn’t felt this light and simply happy for a lifetime.

”Now I’m too awake to go back to bed,” Kakashi laughs into the kiss and tugs the hurriedly dressed trousers better on himself before they fall off his narrow hips. Nothing Sasuke hasn't seen yet, though, underneath them. “Time for breakfast then.”

Sasuke doesn’t let him go – he pulls him back and kisses him again. He has waited too long to get only one kiss after all the heartbreak, and well, Kakashi is happy to indulge him.

They break the kiss when the pile of boxes Sasuke is still sitting starts to sway threateningly and Kakashi chuckles meaningless threats about not giving him any breakfast if Sasuke breaks his things. Sasuke scoffs and tells him to go put a shirt on. Kakashi obeys with a lazy grin, dancing away from Sasuke’s hands – Sasuke tries to swat him, he doesn’t know for what yet, but it’s just in case Kakashi does something stupid later today.

While Kakashi wanders back to the bedroom, jumping over a couple of dogs that have appeared in the apartment during their talk, Sasuke helps himself to the fridge. Kakashi follows him into the room after, now wearing a shirt, and puts a tea kettle on the stove.

Sasuke turns around with a sandwich in his mouth. Kakashi is leaning against the counter next to him, minding the stove and humming. Their hips are touching. Sasuke, too confused by the rush of events, doesn't find the will to move. Kakashi is warm and Sasuke feels comfortable and at home in that second, sharing the kitchen during their morning after.

“How long do you think we could hide in here before your team comes to look for us?” Kakashi drawls, glancing at Sasuke.

“I don’t know, how fed up are they with you for being late for everything?”

“Enough that we might actually have to go to work today.”

“You’re impossible.”

Kakashi just snorts at him.

“So, are you going to help me move? Half of this stuff is yours anyway.”

“Is not,” Sasuke mutters under his breath.

“So is,” Kakashi laughs at him. “If I didn’t know better, I would say you live here with the amount of junk you have dragged in.”

“Shut up.”

Kakashi smirks at him and can’t resist kissing Sasuke again just because he can.

“How is it going with the team anyway?” he asks when he opens his eyes, his lashes fluttering, and straightens his back, pulling back from Sasuke with no hurry.

“Fine,” is Sasuke’s quick and tense answer.

“Are you sure?”

Sasuke scrunches up his nose and looks away, crossing his arms.

“Why did you even get me that job? Any of the other members would have been far more experienced than me. Lion’s pretty much made for the position,” he mutters, hiding behind his bangs, burning holes in the boxes at the back of the room. “Is it just because of…us?”

“I asked you to be the leader because I know that you can handle it. Of course I know that there would have been more experienced or suitable candidates, shinobis that would have been more what the Council expected. But I knew that no matter how your case about bringing the truth to light ended, you would need a new purpose.”

“I have one.”

“Going after Danzou doesn’t count,” Kakashi says, not even glancing at him, but after Sasuke doesn’t say anything, but just fidgets there, curling and uncurling his fingers, Kakashi stops whatever he is doing and focuses on him. “I trust you. That’s the reason. It’s as simple as that.”

“Hn.”

“Don’t worry about the team. They won’t care about who you are or how long you have been in the force. They trust me, I trust you, and that’s enough for them.”

“If you say so.”

Kakashi nudges him to his side when the kettle starts whistling. Sasuke goes to fetch mugs while Kakashi saves the boiling water from the stove.

“They’re in one of the boxes. The top one,” Kakashi says when Sasuke finds himself staring at an empty cabinet.

Sasuke rolls his eyes, but walks up to the box at the back of the room and fishes two mugs from the box. He places them on the table next to the pile of his research papers.

“What are you planning to do about those? Are you really going to give up?” Kakashi asks.

“I already threw them away once. I don’t know, maybe I’ll keep them. Save them for a time when the Elders are dead and there is a different generation of clan heads in the Council. Obviously trying again right after won’t work,” Sasuke huffs. This is something he will think about later when he is more in balance with himself and won’t get paralyzed by anger the moment he thinks about the fate of his clan.

Sasuke is getting enough of talking such depressing matters on a morning like this – it’s far too good a morning to be wasted on wallowing in his frustrations.

It’s much better suited for teasing his new lover.

"You know what, you're right about you being old. I think I can spot a few grey hairs from here," Sasuke smirks from his side of the table.

"Very funny,” Kakashi grunts and ruffles Sasuke's ink black hair into a worse version of bed hair. Somehow that settles it and they fall back to the routine they have those mornings when Sasuke has spent the night at Kakashi's. Not-very-well-brewed tea, a shared newspaper and a pack of dogs going in and out the apartment feel like home more and more after each time Sasuke wakes up in the small flat instead of his house in the empty Uchiha district.

The freezing water lifts the last remains of sleep from Sasuke’s eyes when they rush to take a shower in turns after they glance at the clock and realise how late it is. Sasuke can’t afford to stop by his house if he wants to get to his briefing with his team on time, and there is no way he will go there like this, in the same clothes he wore yesterday – for all he knows one of his team might just as well be an Inuzuka or something and can smell what Sasuke was doing last night.

Kakashi’s light hair still drips water when he tosses a pile of dark, standard jounin gear clothes at Sasuke. Sasuke might have forgotten a lot of his own clothes at the apartment during the last few weeks, but his stuff has been packed along with rest of Kakashi’s things, stacked somewhere in the dozens of boxes spread around the apartment and they don’t have the time to look for them.

”Do you expect me to wear these? They're too big for me. Everybody's going to think I'm sleeping with you if I show up wearing your clothes.”

”Didn't we just agree that you _are_ sleeping with me?” comes Kakashi's dry answer as he tugs his own clean shirt on. ”And they don't look like my clothes, they look like clothes that belong to somebody taller than you. Since when you have cared what others think of you?”

“The team will have one look at me and us both being late, and they’ll _know_.”

“So? Their job is to be to my shadow, they probably know already.”

Sasuke narrows his eyes, clenches his hands into fists around the fabric, and can’t come up with any other reason than _I don’t like it._ He contents himself with muttering “Asshole” under his breath as he tugs the clothes on.

”I heard that,” Kakashi comments with a smirk as he walks past Sasuke and towards the hallway.

The smug expression is soon wiped out of his face when Sasuke grabs his wrist, spins him around and claims his mouth yet again. He tugs Kakashi closer by his vest as he kisses him, possessive and annoyed and frustrated, and his teeth scrape Kakashi’s lower lip.

“Get your ass to work,” he mutters against Kakashi’s mouth, his eyes closed, and gives Kakashi a push to his chest and towards the door.

“Yes, sir,” comes Kakashi’s amused answer. He pulls a dark mask over his face and a map of delicate silver scars disappear behind the mask as the Sixth Hokage readies himself for the day.

Kakashi holds the door open for him and Sasuke steps out into the sunlight.

 

o0o

 

”Sasuke!”

Sasuke swirls around and a light breeze dancing around the streets of Konoha catches the hem of his shirt.

Sasuke hasn’t got far from Kakashi’s apartment. The Hokage Tower and the ANBU headquarters are far enough from each other that Kakashi and he had gone their separate ways – Sasuke will find his way to the Hokage office at some point today anyway.

The morning has him still lightheaded enough that he didn’t notice Sakura until she shouted after him.

Now Sakura is jogging towards him, a smile on her face, and she waves a hand to him when she sees that he is waiting for her. The colour of her hair matches the red of her cheeks, the blush raised by her rush after Sasuke.

”Sakura,” Sasuke says when she catches up to him, keeping his voice level because he has no idea what is going on.

”Hi! Do you have a minute?” she asks just like she would have done six months ago, easy and friendly, leaning her hands on her knees as she tries to catch her breath.

They’re standing in the main street of the village, but during such an early hour of the day there aren’t that many villagers up and about yet. The shops around them are already open, but there are only a handful of customers inside. A pair of children runs down the street and past them. A plastic bag drifts in the wind further down the road, twirling in the air just above the ground.

Sasuke blinks at Sakura’s question because though he had hoped that their relationship would return to normal, he hadn’t expected it to. And certainly not this suddenly.

“Yes,” is his short, clipped answer. He doesn’t really have any time to spare, he should be at the headquarters already, but this is Sakura and she is talking to him.

Sasuke has to force his shoulders to relax – he keeps telling himself that Sakura sought him out, she came to talk to him out of her own free will and he has no reason to escape the situation. Yet.

“I heard about what happened with the Council. I’m sorry,” she says, meeting his gaze head on, and Sasuke realises that is the first time in ages that she has done that. “Are you alright? Kakashi-sensei stopped by yesterday, he was looking for you. That’s how I heard about the Council. Did he ever find you?”

“Yeah,” Sasuke answers quickly because he fears that somehow Sakura can read what happened last night from his face. “I’m okay, I was just in the back of the district. I was…angry.”

“That’s understandable. I know I would be.”

“So, um, how have you been?” Sasuke asks, stuffs his hands in his pockets and realises that of course he is still wearing Kakashi’s clothes. There is this cold, sharp feeling in his chest as he wonders if Sakura can tell what is going on after just one look.

Sasuke is not ashamed, no, far from it. But his relationship with Kakashi is so new and tender and fragile that he really wants to keep it between themselves for a while. And not have his friend, who at least used to have feelings for him, wonder who he is sleeping with.

Sakura doesn’t seem to have a clue about the thoughts whirling in Sasuke’s head.

“Oh, fine, just the usual. But I have been meaning to talk to you. Seriously talk to you.”

Sasuke waits for her to continue, wondering if she is going to say whatever she has on her mind right there in the middle of the village.

Sakura closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, her chest heaving, and then looks Sasuke straight in the eye.

“I have been incredibly childish and stupid. And ever since I realised that I have been so ashamed of myself that I haven’t had the courage to come to speak to you. It was wrong of me to expect you to return my feelings when we had never even talked about how you felt towards me. I – I saw what I wanted to see. I’m sorry.”

Sakura bites her lower lip and her eyes are suspiciously red. But she holds up a hand when Sasuke tries to accept her apology, and continues after an exaggerated roll of her shoulders.

“I have thought a lot during these months. I heard about Naruto and you from Naruto after you – well, ended things with him. And I – “ she says, frowning, “I have come to understand that I would like to have you as a friend more than to keep hoping for something that I can never have. Because now I don’t have you at all. And the wish of you loving me is not worth that.”

Sasuke’s shoulders sag with relief.

“You will find somebody better than me. Somebody that will be better for you than me and treat you right.”

“Heh, we’ll see about that. You have always been a tough one to beat. But I will learn to let you go,” Sakura says, nodding her head sharply, and it’s like she promises that to herself instead of Sasuke, which is even better. “I just hope that this hasn’t cost me your friendship. Because if it’s alright with you, I would really like to be your friend again.”

And for a second time this morning, it’s suddenly so much easier for Sasuke to breathe.

“You never stopped being that.”

Now there are definitely tears in Sakura’s eyes. She is smiling and crying and she looks like she would like to hug him.

Sasuke has never known what to say to a crying girl, so he does the only thing he can think of.

He opens his arms up for her, just a tiniest movement that he can fake as a shrug if he has read the situation totally wrong, but that seems to be it for Sakura.

It’s not really an embrace or even a hug, it’s more just Sakura’s arms around his neck and Sasuke’s confusion of not knowing what to do with his hands. They have never been this close to each other, not like this – he wonders if he has ever really hugged her – and the unfamiliarity shows. They’re quite far apart, their bodies not really touching, and Sasuke is tense under her hold.

With Naruto it’s always Naruto who’s the one clomping Sasuke and wrapping him in his warmth, holding him as tight as he can. He is almost overbearing, radiating warmth, and even when he is hugging Sasuke, he is always moving somehow – swaying from side to side or moving his hands to get even tighter grip.

With Kakashi, it’s calm and easy and comfortable, and it can’t really be compared to this.

Sakura, as trained and buff as she is, is still a lot smaller than the men of Team 7, and even if Sasuke is fully aware that he can’t break her, that’s exactly what he fears when he tentatively places his hands on her back.

Sakura, on the other hand, doesn’t have any qualms about this – she is resting her chin on his shoulder, trying to hide her sniffles in her sleeve and Sasuke wonders if he should pat her back or not. This doesn’t come naturally to him – with Naruto, he didn’t have to think, Naruto did all the holding for him, and with Kakashi it is just so different.

He pulls back when it’s clear Sakura won’t be the one to let go first. She brushes the last of her tears away and smiles at him.

“Sorry about this,” she laughs and her voice is still shaking, though her eyes are shining brilliantly. “Didn’t mean to get so emotional.”   

“It’s alright,” Sasuke answers, letting his lips quirk into a smile of his own too. It’s good to have her back.

“Great,” Sakura says and grins on top of that. “Because we got months of catching up to do.”


	26. Winds of Change - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a wild ride. This one is actually only the first part of it - the actual chapter ended up being so long that I decided to split it in two. That's why these two chapters will be slightly shorter, but when they are put together, the word count is huge. I will post the latter half in a few days, so you won't have to wait another two weeks this time.
> 
> I know the name is lame but I just gave up. Whose great idea was it to name the chapters anyway? 
> 
> I promise that this fic won't end up being an OC show.

 

_The 19th_ _of May, the fifth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_

“So, Chief, how’s the captain in bed?”

Sasuke stops in his tracks. His face grows hot behind the ANBU mask, the hair at his neck stands up, and he knows that had he been any less of an Uchiha, he would probably have spluttered and tripped over his feet.

But instead of making a fool out of himself, Sasuke scowls over his shoulder at Hare who in turn is giving him an innocent look from the other side of the street. Next to him, Otter is peeking through the windows of an abandoned house – Sasuke and his team were sent to scout the Uchiha district for the mystery spy when Kakashi got fed up with six grown-up ninjas breathing down his neck.

The best glowering look Sasuke throws at Hare doesn’t have any effect – it does the exact opposite of what Sasuke meant, because now Otter gets interested too and comes to drape an arm around Hare’s shoulders and grin at Sasuke. Sasuke doesn’t have to see her face to know that the smirk is there, because it’s like her whole body is giving off a smug vibe when she plants her other hand on her jutted-out hip and studies Sasuke.

“Ooh, I bet he’s good! Isn’t he? He must be with a body like that!” she exclaims and doesn’t even pretend to be subtle.

Meanwhile, Sasuke has gone red and started to plan a murder.

“Why on earth would I know that?” he hisses but doesn’t sound convincing even to his own ears.

“Oh, honey, it’s too late to deny anything,” Owl adds as she walks around the corner and into the middle of the chaos that is Sasuke trying to glare down the smirking Hare and Otter. “We know _everything_.”

“We are the Hokage’s shadows, we follow his every movement – we see all,” Otter states in a dramatic voice, standing with her feet wide apart, a hand slammed over her heart, and quotes parts of the vow of loyalty. “Of course we know who he is sleeping with.”

“We would have had to be blind not to notice you ogling him during the inauguration party. Also, the fact that you have spent the last three – no, wait – _four_ nights at his apartment was quite a clear hint,” Hare butts in without batting an eye.

Sasuke doesn’t know how he could answer that apart from making a sound like a dying cat.

“Well, is he any good?” Hare ask again, tilting his head to the side. He dares to sound almost impatient.

“I’m going to make you guys write all our reports if you don’t stop,” Sasuke scoffs, spins around on his feet and marches towards the next house.

“Come on, Chief! We have waited years for the captain to find somebody – it was the damn well time – you gotta give us some details!”

“I don’t have any idea what you are talking about,” Sasuke shouts back at them and leaves them to their own devices, just like he used to do with Team 7. Instead of their whining, he concentrates on the task at hand – looking for any signs of the spy and trying to sense any possible chakra signatures.

Sasuke has divided his squad in two – he is combing the deserted Uchiha district with Otter, Hare and Owl while Lion and Eagle were left at the Hokage Tower to watch over – babysit – the Hokage.

Sasuke found out pretty soon that Kakashi truly knew what he was doing when he chose his team. After Sasuke made his vows and became officially the leader of the guard, he had spent a couple of stiff days being polite but painfully self-conscious of his every move, and the team had kept a watchful eye on him as they tried to determine whether he was a good guy or not.

They apparently came to a decision somewhere along the line, because one day, the five shinobis chosen by the Sixth Hokage had grabbed Sasuke, had given him no time complain, and made him one of their own. Sasuke had been shown around the ANBU headquarters and their favourite training grounds and after that he had been kidnapped to the nearest bar. With his embarrassing mishaps during the inauguration party still fresh on his mind, Sasuke had refused to touch anything with alcohol in it, but that hadn’t stopped the ANBUs from having a great time with gently yet firmly interrogating him.

By now, Sasuke has grown comfortable enough with the team that he dares to tease them back every now and then, and he has stopped worrying whether they laugh at him behind his back. It all has been made easier by that fact that there is something that reminds him of Kakashi in all of them – each and every one of them has two distinct sides.

When the squad is just on the usual guarding duty, the members make lame jokes and goof around in the same laid-back manner Kakashi does, and a stranger wouldn’t know that they were looking at the most trusted shinobis in the village if they caught them like this. Otter is the Naruto of the group and Hare the weird uncle. Owl mothers every single one of her teammates. Eagle has the best jokes that you get only ten seconds after he told them, and Lion should have been a ringmaster in a circus instead of a ninja with the larger-than-life personality he has.

But as soon as it is needed, they can switch back to that dangerous assassin mode in an instant, and Sasuke, because he is used to Kakashi doing the same exact thing, can respect them for that.

Sasuke has seen the faces behind the masks of his squad members and heard their names, but like they do with each other, he thinks them as their identities as ANBUs. In the same way, he is Robin to them and not so much Uchiha Sasuke.

Or he would be, if Hare hadn’t promptly started calling him Chief and run with it. He says that though Sasuke is the captain of their group, the title of the captain is permanently reserved for Kakashi, especially now that Kakashi won’t let them go around calling him the Hokage to his face. That means that Sasuke will have to do with Chief.

Unceremoniously, the rest of the group went along with it, and while Sasuke is supposed to be their leader, he can’t get them to stop it. He isn’t entirely sure that the title wasn’t prompted by the sarcastic notion that he is the youngest of them and still the highest-ranking one. But by now, Sasuke has come to the conclusion that there is nothing he can do about it and in all honesty, he doesn’t even particularly mind the nickname.

But it still doesn’t mean that Sasuke is ready to talk to his team about his newly-developed relationship with the leader of the village and essentially their boss.

It’s been a few days since Kakashi and he got together, and these last couple of days have been the most peaceful and calming Sasuke has had for a while even though they haven’t had that much time together. Sasuke has been busy leading his squad around the village, either looking for the spy or training together with them to hone their teamwork and get himself used to the way they work as a team, and Kakashi is still getting used to his job as the Hokage. But the evenings have been theirs to enjoy, spent on packing the rest of Kakashi’s things and taking back all the time they missed, on the lumpy mattress of the bed or the old couch that screeches under their combined weight.

Sakura, too, has made an effort to make up for the spring they lost – Sasuke has met with her once or twice since the morning after the Council meeting, whenever their schedules allowed some time for that. She is still doing most of the talking, and she can’t always hide the certain dreaming look that lingers on her face, but she always stays between the lines of friendship and Sasuke chooses to believe her when she says that she will get over him.

It’s such a joy to have her back as a friend. Sasuke doesn’t have many of those to begin with – Tsunade is more like a stern mother, and though Sasuke is still somewhere up in the cloud nine when he thinks about how things turned out with Kakashi, he knows that he also needs to have someone else to talk to, a friend. Maybe even more than one.

And while Sakura is quick to tell Sasuke when he is being a stubborn idiot, and she loses him as soon as she starts to gossip about Ino and who is dating who and what is happening at the hospital, Sasuke is happy to just sit there and listen to her voice as she babbles on about Hinata’s crush on Naruto and also maybe on Kiba, and Shikamaru and Temari’s weird long-distance relationship – all of which Sasuke could have lived without hearing about.

At some point of one of their fairly one-sided conversations, Sasuke finds the courage to ask her about Naruto and how he was before he left.

She smiles carefully, with a dimple on her left cheek and a lock of her hair brushed behind her ear, and tells him that Naruto was better before he left and would have been ready to talk to Sasuke, but he wasn’t sure whether Sasuke wanted to.

“He asked Sai come to tell you that he was leaving, didn’t he? Why didn’t you come?” Sakura asks over her piece of cheesecake in the café they are sitting in that time.

“I was given the impression that I wasn’t wanted there,” Sasuke says, his voice stern, and moves his own piece of cake around the plate with his spoon.

“Ah well, Sai’s not that good with dealing with emotional nuances, he might have misunderstood something. Or said something a little differently than Naruto meant,” Sakura smiles and tries to brush the matter off – she doesn’t think anything of Sai butchering an important, emotional message. It’s probably an everyday occurrence for her.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Sasuke mutters behind the hand he is leaning his chin on.

“Huh?” Sakura freezes and her spoon stops half way towards her mouth.

Sasuke watches her confused expression for a second, wondering whether this is really the time to tell Sakura that her friend is not exactly what he pretends to be, but this far into this mess that is Team 7 and their relationships, he is so tired of keeping things to himself that he wants to get the truth out there.

“Sai doesn’t like me. At all.”

“Really? Why? As in, he ticks you off and you do the same to him, or like, you hate each other’s guts?”

“Uh, the latter?” Sasuke says and wishes he hadn’t when Sakura’s eyes widen. “He told me that you guys were better off without me and that I should stay away from you all.”

“What?” Sakura shrieks and the piece of the cake drops from her spoon. “He never said anything about that – I thought that you guys were getting along just fine. _Did he really say that?_ ”

After Sasuke nods, she spends the next hour fuming and planning to introduce her fist to Sai’s face before giving him a good scolding about how to treat the friends of your friends.

Now, back in the present, Sasuke herds his ANBUs around his district, showing them shortcuts and hiding places only an Uchiha would know. While the ANBUs patrol this part of the village too, it’s something entirely different to have been born here and know each street and small alley like the back of your hand than to pass by the district from time to time.

Though nobody has heard about the spy for a few weeks, Kakashi wants him captured, and since he doesn’t appreciate the constant surveillance of his guard, he ordered them to go look around the village for the spy’s any potential hiding places. It’s an endless job when the village is so large, the forest around it so thick, and the possibility of the spy using a henge is probable, but actively searching for the spy feels better than sitting around and doing nothing about it.

Because the Uchiha district is a large, unoccupied piece of land at the edge of the village and near the enormous forest that surrounds Konoha, it was the most sensible place to start looking.

This morning, Sasuke and the team started going through the district from the corner that is farthest from the centre of the village. This deep in the district they can’t hear the usual sounds of the day, and the high walls that surround the village cast their shadows over the decaying buildings. The four ANBUs are spread over the street, checking all the houses for any sign that somebody might be using them.

Sasuke is just moving from one rotting house to another when Otter calls him from a few streets over.

“Chief, come to take a look at this!”

When Sasuke finds her, she is crouched down next to the wall. She has a hand against it to balance herself as she inspects the heavy stone structure, and she taps her fingers almost nervously against the surface.

“What is it?”

Instead of answering, Otter stands up and lets Sasuke move closer and see it for himself.

There is a crack in the wall. A hole. Large enough that an adult would fit through, just and just if they were bit taller and wider than your average shinobi.

There is a huge hole in the wall and nobody knew about this until now. When Konoha has a spy situation.

Sasuke stares at it in confusion. He doesn’t remember there being a break in the wall, but he hasn’t been in this part of the district since maybe the massacre.

The Uchiha district is quite a big complex and it reaches far into the forest. The oldest houses and the narrowest streets are situated here, and at least when Sasuke was a child, he found this part of the district scary. That’s why he didn’t come here that often. He had no business here when he was a genin either, and even though he has now spent a year back in Konoha, he has stayed near his new house that is conveniently close to the centre of the village. That means that while Sasuke does own the district, he has no idea what has been going on here – he hadn’t even thought of the possibility that there might be an issue.

This is an amateur error of him – he should have checked the district as soon as he heard about the spy. Sai had the nerve to accuse him of hiding the spy here, and now Sasuke has to admit, to his deep embarrassment, that Sai might have been right.

“Now we know how the spy got in,” Hare says in his rough voice from his place next to Sasuke’s shoulder and peers into the hole.

“Or out,” Sasuke adds and brushes a hand against the harsh surface of the wall. “The spy has been seen a few times, but there were always weeks, if not months between the sightings. And the Fifth took notice of him already last autumn. That’s an awful long time to hide. Maybe the reason why nobody ever found him is that he wasn’t there to be found.”

“Ah, so he gets in and out whenever he feels like it. That’s convenient,” Otter wonders out loud. She spares a glance at a badly faded Uchiha emblem that has been painted over the door of one of the nearby houses. “You own this part of the village, don’t you, Chief? The Elders are gonna pin this on you somehow, I would say.”

A way into the village on the property of a former traitor. The wrinkly fossils are going to have a field day.

“The Hokage can decide whether they need to hear about this in the first place,” Sasuke mutters and decides to test whether he can fit in the hole and if the gap truly reaches all the way through the massive wall. He crouches down on his knees, and from there down on his stomach so he can crawl his way through. The rocky surface of the wall scrapes his sides and hands, and the ground is cold under him. After a good minute of slowly making his way through the murky tunnel, Sasuke emerges from the hole on the other side of the wall. He jumps up to his feet and runs a hand through his hair to get rid of all the dust.

Sasuke feels like he is standing in another world when he studies his surroundings. The huge tree trunks go on and on, and it’s like there is no end to the forest. Behind him the red walls of Konoha rise high up towards the sky, but he can’t see it now because all the branches and leaves create a thick roof up in the treetops.

The hole might have appeared with time and wear, or then somebody dug their way through – it doesn’t matter how the break came to be, the only thing that is important is that it is there.

Owl makes her way through the gap and straightens her back as she steps to stand at Sasuke’s side.

“This is also a very handy way to get a messenger hawk sent off without anyone noticing it back in the village,” she says. The marking on her mask, a pair of dark circles around the eye holes, make her eyes look large and black as she studies Sasuke. “The spy could have stayed in Konoha the whole time, pretending to be any of the villagers. Then he would just sneak here and let a bird carry their messages. That’s what I would do. If he leaves Konoha, there’s always a change that he misses something important.”

“But the risk of getting caught is bigger that way,” Sasuke says back, but doesn’t really know whether he tries to prove Owl’s theory wrong or if he is just thinking out loud.

He remembers the few times he has encountered the spy – every time Sasuke noticed him first by the looming chakra signature. First in the abandoned Uchiha district, then in the village on a rainy day when everybody stayed at home and away from the central part of Konoha where there are only shops and no apartment buildings.

Maybe the spy’s chakra control isn’t that precise if he can’t hide his massive chakra signature when there is no one around. In a crowd, he does just fine. But if he is alone, he gets caught.

Would someone like that risk staying in an enemy village for months?

“We’ll have to close the tunnel,” Sasuke says and turns around to face his squad. “We can’t let the spy use it anymore.”

“But do we know if the spy is inside or not? Yeah, sure, we might lock him out of the village, and that’s good alright, but what if he gets stuck in with us?” Otter asks just as she appears from their small tunnel. She stumbles quickly on her feet to make room for Hare who has followed right after her.

“He would have no choice but to keep hiding or try to sneak out,” Hare mutters. “Though I doubt that he would manage to get out.”

“The gatekeepers will notice him if he tries to use henge at the gates. And if he is someone that left with Shimura, the guards will recognise him,” Owl adds. “And there are always patrols on the walls, he can’t go over them.”

“That means if he is inside the walls, he will get caught eventually. Unless he is someone that stayed after the coup and has been fooling us all along…” Sasuke explains and furrows his brows. “Then he can walk right out of the gates, and there is nothing we can do about it. We’ll just have to take that risk.”

After checking their immediate surroundings and studying the break from this side too, their group makes their way back through the hole to the village’s side. Sasuke sends Hare to go tell Kakashi about this immediately – the Hokage has to know about this and order someone to go take care of that hole. Sasuke’s squad can’t do it – if they fix it with an earth release jutsu, there is no reason why the spy couldn’t do the same exact thing and let himself out. The hole has to be fixed to be the same as the rest of the wall, resistant to jutsus.

At the end of their shift, Sasuke waves his team off, telling them to go change and then home to rest before their babysitting duties kick in again. He is planning to go report to Kakashi and then head home together with him. But because it is such a beautiful day – once he gets out of the shadow of the wall and into the sunlight – Sasuke decides to take the scenic route.

High up on the wall where the lookouts are, the winds blow harsher, but the view over the forest is magnificent. Sasuke rests his gaze on the emerald coloured forest – the treetops sway in the wind like waves at sea, brilliant green shades changing and moving, never stopping. On the other side of the wall, vast clouds sail over Konoha and their shadows move over the map of the village and towards the Land of Fire and beyond.

A deep longing fills Sasuke’s heart as he watches the far away horizon.

He shakes his head to clear his thoughts and steers himself towards the gates and the staircase there. As Sasuke follows the curve of the wall, he spies the training grounds hidden in the forest a little bit outside of the village and senses a familiar chakra spiking there even across all this distance.

Sai’s there.

Sasuke’s initial reaction is to make a beeline towards the opposite direction and avoid any confrontation, but he did promise Kakashi that he would fix this. And he is so very tired of Sai looking down at him like he has done something wrong.

After a short trip through the woods, Sasuke walks up to the remotest training field where Sai is practising with his inked beasts. This might have been a little rash decision of Sasuke – he is still wearing his ANBU uniform, his mask is in place and so are the markings of a captain at his shoulder, and he isn’t that sure whether he wants Sai to know that he is part of the ANBU now. But Sai is in the force as well, and although they are in different squads, they will run into each other in the headquarters eventually anyway, so revealing his identity now doesn’t really matter.

And as the leader of the Hokage’s guard, Sasuke outranks Sai by a mile, and maybe he wants Sai to be aware of that fact.

Sai notices him, and Sasuke is content to wait in silence until Sai straightens his back and ends up in standing in attention – even though Sai is not on duty right now, there is still a high-ranking officer in his presence, and Sai is quick to respond accordingly.

Sasuke removes his mask and relishes the surprised look that flashes on Sai’s face.

“Traitor,” Sai greets Sasuke in that blank voice of his and lets his posture loosen on purpose. “Did you come here just to show off, or did you have something to say?”

“I want this ridiculous argument between us to be over,” Sasuke says and focuses on keeping his face in check and his tone as polite as he can. “Let’s settle this.”

Sai merely raises a brow at him.

“I don’t like you and I assume the feeling is mutual. But this hurts Naruto and Sakura, and I refuse to cause them pain anymore,” Sasuke explains.

The weird smile is back on Sai’s face. Sasuke can’t believe how annoying Sai is when he grins at him with his eyes closed and uses a light voice that clashes with his words.

“And here it is. You’re trying to use them against me. Now this is all my fault, you have done nothing wrong and I’m the bad guy, right?”

Sasuke refuses to take that bait.

“I don’t care whose fault it is, let’s just agree to disagree and get on with our lives,” he snaps after a quick intake of breath through his nose. “You won’t bother me, I won’t bother you. And I can promise you that I won’t intentionally hurt any of Team 7 again.”

Sai blinks his endlessly dark eyes open. It’s strange to see how artificial even the tilt of his head is.

“As far as I recall, you didn’t intentionally mean to hurt them either when you left Naruto. Or rejected Sakura. Or abandoned them both for years. Or at least that’s what you said.”

Sasuke sighs, closes his eyes and places a hand on the hilt of his sword.

“I didn’t want it to come to this, but I guess it can’t be helped. You’re not giving me any choice,” he says and draws his katana. “Fight me.”

Immediately, Sai changes his stance, lowering his centre of balance, and is ready for battle.

“Gladly.”

“If I win, you will accept that I’m a part of their lives. No more antagonising each other, and we’ll be civil in front of Naruto and Sakura. You win and you get to hold your grudge.”

“Deal.”

Sai doesn’t give Sasuke time to prepare – he is on him in that second, sending his ink beasts towards Sasuke’s way.

Sasuke slashes his sword through them with ease and jumps to dodge the next wave of them. He blows a fireball at Sai in retaliation, Sai avoids it, and Sasuke has to swirl around to get out of the way of an inked bird flying towards him.

It doesn’t take long before they give up on the long-distance fighting and ninjutsu – soon they are fighting hand to hand, steel scraping steel and skin. Sasuke hasn’t had to fight an opponent like Sai for a while – when was the last time he had to fight for something like this against such ferocity?

While Sasuke battles with precision and the tactical mind that is expected of the leader of the Hokage’s guard, there is also anger behind his attacks. He fights with frustration towards Sai, the Council and at himself for just sitting there in the sidelines and letting all of this to happen to him. He fights for his friends, because he refuses to let Sai’s utter bullheadedness towards seeing reason make them unhappy.

Sasuke doesn’t know if it’s anger too, or jealousy and protectiveness that drives Sai, but he attacks with the same vigour, slashing sharp hits towards Sasuke, not holding back or showing mercy – and neither of them really knows what is going to determine when the battle is over – first blood, unconsciousness, death?

Then all of it comes to a halt.

“Guys, what the hell?”

Sai and Sasuke stop almost simultaneously at the pissed-off yell, and when they turn to see where it came from, they witness Sakura storming towards them. Her eyes are blazing, she has raised her fists towards them, and she has never resembled a pissed-off Tsunade more than at this moment.

“What on earth are you doing?” she screeches as she thunders towards them. “That wasn’t a friendly spar and you better not try to tell me otherwise. _What is wrong with you two?_ ”

Sasuke, in his ANBU armour and still on such thin ice when it comes to his friendship with Sakura, decides it best to keep his mouth shut and sword lowered.

Sai is not as smart.

“Uchiha has done nothing but hurt since he came back to Konoha. As your friend, I thought I – “

“You imbecile!” Sakura seethes. “Put your weapons away or I’ll send you to the hospital myself.”

This time Sai has enough of a brain to obey and pocket his kunais, and when Sakura focuses her glare on Sasuke, he shows her his empty hands and then points at his hip where his sword is now resting in its sheath.

“Now, listen,” Sakura huffs and turns back to Sai. “You! While I do appreciate the sentiment – what the fuck were you thinking? It’s not your place to harass Sasuke because of Naruto and me when we haven’t asked you to. Whatever happened between us is between us, and even though you are part of the team, you just don’t know all the facts. We forgave Sasuke the minute he come back to the village, hell, we didn’t think there was nothing to forgive. We were devastated when he was gone, and okay, things haven’t always been that great even after he came back – but do you have any idea what it would be like for us to lose him a second time? Because of our friend?”

As Sasuke watches Sakura lecture Sai with her voice getting higher and more emotional with every word, it dawns on him that he never really knew what his teammates thought about him leaving. It’s like Sakura punches him in the gut when he hears it in her words how much it truly hurt them that he left. And he still can’t understand how easily they were ready to forgive him, just like that.

“How do you think we feel when you can’t accept our friend when we waited years for him to come back? How – how can you tell him that he should stay away from us? Sai, you had no right.”

It’s the first time Sasuke truly sees Sai’s mask crack. Sai bites his lower lip, looks at Sakura with wide eyes before he casts them low and then he refuses to meet either of their gazes.

Sakura seems to have lost some of her fire too. Her voice is quiet when she starts again.

“I’m honoured that you consider Naruto and I so important to you that you would defend us like this, but this time you did more harm than good. This doesn’t mean that you stop being my friend, but I hope that you can at least tolerate Sasuke. It wasn’t all his fault – I was just as much mine too. And what happened between Naruto and him is their business, and unless Naruto especially asked you to get revenge on Sasuke, you’re supposed to stay out of it.”

There is a heavy pause when time stops and then –

Sai nods.

A small smile blooms on Sakura’s face.

It doesn’t last long though, since she swirls around and pins her once again furious gaze on Sasuke.

“Don’t think for a second that you are off the hook. Is there a brain in that head of yours? Because a minute ago it sure didn’t look like it!”

“He wouldn’t listen what I said and I wanted this to be over.”

“And you thought that fighting him was the right thing to do?” Sakura scolds him and now she really looks like Tsunade – if she started to throw things at him, she would be the exact image of the Fifth.

Sasuke scoffs, crosses his arms and turns to glare at the trees on the other side of the forest, away from facing her.

Sakura slaps her hand over her eyes.

“I can’t believe I had a crush on you. Boys…” she mutters under her breath. She sighs heavily and plants her hands on her hips. Sakura snaps her head up to stare at the both of them. “Okay, here is what we are going to do. Sai is going to let go of any animosity he has for Sasuke and apologise for being a jerk, and Sasuke is going to accept the very _sincere_ apology. Then we are never going to talk about this ever again and you are going to be civil with each other from now on. Am I understood?”

Sasuke, for a moment, has this urge to respond “Yes, ma’am.”

“Okay, action,” Sakura huffs with a stern expression on her face. “Sai?”

Sai looks first at Sakura, then at Sasuke and back at Sakura again. He loses the fake smile he had produced on his face while Sakura was scolding Sasuke, and lets his expression evolve into a more serious one. He walks up to Sasuke and offers his hand for him.

“I might have acted inappropriately. I do apologise,” he says and looks Sasuke straight in the eye.

Sasuke understands why Sai has reacted towards him the way he has – Sasuke has to grudgingly admit that he might have done something similar if their roles had been reversed – and he already made the decision to get this argument over with.

He nods and shakes Sai’s hand. It’s a short and slightly awkward, they let go as soon as they can, but all in all, Sakura seems happy.

“Welcome to Team 7, I guess,” Sai says as he lets go, and the smile is back on his face. “Though I’m a bit late with that, am I not?”

“I think I should be saying that to you, considering that you came to replace me,” Sasuke answers and can’t resist quirking an eyebrow – because, really?

“ _Sasuke_ ,” Sakura jumps in with a warning in her voice, and Sasuke swears he can hear her crackling her knuckles.

“Thank you,” Sasuke rolls his eyes. “Thank you, that’s what I meant to say.”

“You’re welcome,” Sai answers, overly polite, and his smile couldn’t be more perfect and symmetrical if he tried.

Sakura glares the two of them, probably coming to the conclusion that this is the best she can get out of them, and gives up.

“Oh, fine, you idiots. Sasuke, come. Let’s leave Sai to train in peace.”

Sakura spins around on her feet and heads back towards the village, and Sasuke has no choice but to follow.

He jogs after Sakura to catch up with her and his robin mask, strapped at his hip, collides with his thigh with every step.

“So, how long have you been in the ANBU?” Sakura asks when Sasuke reaches her, and there is a mischievous tone in her voice. “You didn’t tell me you got in.”

“We aren’t supposed to tell anyone,” Sasuke huffs. “And I have been in the force for only about a week.”

“A week? Doesn’t that mean that you started around the same time as Kakashi-sensei took over as the Hokage?”

Sasuke gives her a curt nod and wraps his fingers around the string that holds the mask in place at his hip. Now it feels like the evening of the inauguration was such a long time ago.

“Those are the tags of a captain, aren’t they?” Sakura asks and points to the markings on the long sleeve of Sasuke’s glove. “You’re a captain already? Which squad is yours?”

“The Hokage’s guard,” Sasuke answers as neutrally as he can and keeps on walking, but Sakura makes an interesting squealing noise and stops in the middle of a step.

She stares at him with wide eyes, but with a happy smile on her face.

“That’s – _oh wow_ – congrats! That’s a huge honour. Did Sensei ask you?”

“Yeah,” Sasuke answers, and for once, lets the smile to be heard in his voice. “But Sakura, you can’t tell about this to anyone.”

“Of course I won’t tell,” she says, makes a clicking sound with her tongue, and flicks her wrist. “Did you honestly even have to ask me that?”

Sasuke shrugs and Sakura changes the subject.

“By the way, isn’t Sensei moving soon?”

And Sasuke grins, because he was recruited into carrying Kakashi’s things already almost a week ago.

“Tomorrow.” 

 


	27. Winds of Change - Part 2

 

 _The 20th_ _of May, the fifth year of peace  
__Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

”Here it is,” Kakashi says with a mild-mannered, lazy smirk and pushes the door open.

Sasuke steps into the Hokage residence. The empty apartment on the top floor of the east wing echoes with the sounds of his footsteps, even as light as they are.

The room Kakashi lets him into is spacious and light, and that impression is only strengthened by the sun shining through the large windows. The wooden floor is shiny and smooth under his feet. There are a few random things – a wilting pot plant and a crate of dog toys – Kakashi has brought here beforehand stacked in the next room, but apart from them the place is still only a collection of walls and windows and empty spaces.

Sasuke lowers the heavy boxes he has been carrying on the floor. They have another pile of them waiting in the hallway – Kakashi left them there so he could get the door open – and Sasuke sees Kakashi to go to fetch them now. Those are only the first of many, as they have several trips to do between the old apartment and the residence to carry the rest of Kakashi’s things here. Kakashi, as modestly as he has lived alone in the small apartment, has surprisingly much stuff when all of it has to be packed and moved around the village.

It’s still quite early in the morning – they have a lot of work for the whole day. The first thing they did today was to come here so Sasuke could see the residence. Now they should head back and start moving things from one place to another, arrange the stuff into the new apartment and probably buy and assemble some new furniture. They do plan to drag some of Kakashi’s old chairs and beds here to get Kakashi started, but sooner or later Sasuke will force him to get new ones.

Some of the bookshelves and tables – not to even mention the couch – which Kakashi has in his old apartment are so ancient that Sasuke remembers seeing them in Kakashi’s tiny one-room home when Sasuke was a young genin, and now that Sasuke has seen the residence, he simply refuses to let Kakashi bring that junk here. Kakashi can well afford to buy some new things with the number of A- and S-rank missions he has done over the years – the village pays heftily for those –  and being the head of the village can’t be too shabby for his pay check either. Sasuke is pretty certain that Kakashi could have moved into a place like this years ago with the amount of money he must have, but Kakashi has never had the habit of making a number out of himself.

”Tsunade took most of her old stuff with her, so the place is quite bare at this point,” Kakashi says as he closes the door behind him and swings the key that is attached to a chain around his finger. He smiles when Sasuke swirls around to face him. ”And I could bring all my things here and this place would still be empty. Even with the ones you said no to. They could fit in here easily.”

”Oh no, you’re not bringing your awful, old junk here,” Sasuke says, narrows his eyes and crosses his arms. ”This place is far too good for your crappy stuff.”

”You like my crappy stuff,” Kakashi whines with a hand over his heart, and walks up to Sasuke. Kakashi, the infuriating bastard that he is, doesn’t stop until he is face to face with Sasuke and so close that their chests are touching when he looks down at Sasuke with hooded eyes and a knowing smile. A bold, smug move of him.

Sasuke doesn’t move an inch from where he is standing, unfazed, like Kakashi hadn’t just unceremoniously waltzed into his personal space like he belongs there. Instead, he slowly lifts his chin as if he noticed Kakashi only now, and raises a brow at him.

”Do I?” Sasuke asks with a sceptical tone – he is not impressed.

“Uh-huh,” Kakashi nods and snakes his arms around Sasuke’s waist, running his fingers along his sides until he joins his hands behind Sasuke’s back and pulls him closer.

Sasuke rolls his eyes at Kakashi but doesn’t bother pushing him away.

“You can flirt with me all you want, it’s not going to make me change my mind,” he says and changes the position of his still crossed arms so that his bony elbows press against Kakashi’s chest. Sasuke too can be stubborn and annoying when he wants to be. “That crap stays out of here.”

“It doesn’t mean that I won’t try,” is the immediate, smooth answer.

Sasuke rolls his eyes again, this time at the laid-back but teasing tone in Kakashi’s voice. He is impossible. But Sasuke relaxes against the touch and waits to see what Kakashi comes up with, because if this is Kakashi’s interpretation of trying – Kakashi is sneaking his fingers under Sasuke’s shirt right now – Sasuke won’t certainly mind him trying some more.

Or he wouldn’t if they didn’t have work to do.

Sasuke sighs and lets his shoulders sag.

”Well, show me around then.”

And so, Sasuke lets Kakashi lead him through the large, fancy residence the Sixth didn’t want but ended up with anyway. Kakashi doesn’t really have any plans how he wants to use all the space, but at least there is now plenty of room for his dogs and book collection and maybe a little bit for Sasuke too. There are some things that Tsunade has left in the apartment – an empty bookshelf, a couple of chairs, an old mattress on the floor in the bedroom. Probably left-overs from her or things that have always been here, just changing owner with each new Hokage.

After a tour around the whole residence, Kakashi and Sasuke spend the next few hours going back and forth between the old apartment and the new one, slowly moving Kakashi’s stuff into his new home. A little by little, Kakashi’s old place gets emptier and starts to lose the feeling of home while the residence just becomes messier as they stack all the moving boxes along with everything else in what might become the living room. The boxes are decorated with their handwriting, Kakashi’s almost unreadable, lazy letters and Sasuke’s tidier but hastier ones, telling what is in each box. Next to them is the small TV with its long cords and cables pooling all over the floor. The old, crackling radio from Kakashi’s kitchen has been dumped on top of the TV for the time being – a channel playing dated songs from probably twenty years ago has been left on.

The dogs make an appearance too. The pitter patter from the paws of eight dogs running around on the wooden floor of the residence is quite loud a sound, and their barking is even noisier. Sasuke is already glad that Kakashi doesn’t have any neighbours anymore.

The dogs follow their master’s every step as Kakashi walks around the residence, when fetching something, when looking for something he put down from his arms a minute ago. Sasuke is amused as he watches the show of the whole pack running around at Kakashi’s feet and the man not tripping on them even once. The residence might feel too large for Kakashi alone, but his eight dogs try their hardest to make the apartment feel small.

When they remember that they are supposed to eat too, Kakashi and Sasuke stop by Ichiraku’s to have a very late lunch. Sasuke chuckles when Kakashi pulls his usual mask show for Teuchi and Ayame, and he feels oddly proud when the villagers on the streets recognise and gush over their new Hokage. The Sixth himself isn’t that excited about all the attention, but politely greets the excited crowd before ushering Sasuke back to the residence.

When they pass by the hospital on their way, Sasuke wonders if he should have asked Sakura to come help with the moving. She would probably have been better fit to carry all the heavy stuff than either of them, but he has to admit that even though it’s more work for them this way, it’s fun to do something as mundane and usual and normal as this with just Kakashi.

They’re taking a breather after a few hours of working – by now, only the big pieces of furniture are still at the old apartment, and some of the things they brought at the residence have already found their places in the cabinets and shelves. Sasuke’s back is aching from carrying the awkwardly-shaped boxes and household devices in strange angles over the village. The pack abandoned them a while ago, their excitement gone as fast as it came, and they weren’t really any help in the first place.

“So what do you think? Too fancy for your taste?” Kakashi asks and tosses Sasuke a water bottle from where he is sitting on top of a box that might or might not be full of his books. He brushes his damp hair from his face – it’s a hot day and today’s work suffices as exercise. He lost the usual dark shirt hours ago and it’s the sleeveless top with a mask he is wearing now.

”It’s an improvement from your old place, I give you that,” Sasuke states as he stands in the empty master bedroom with his hands on his hip and studies the space. They haven’t done much for this room yet, while almost all the others have been touched. The living room is a labyrinth of boxes by now, they have cleaned the bathroom – it stinks of chlorine now – and let the pack conquer one room for themselves. They filled the kitchen cabinets with the china and kitchenware, and carried the small, wonky kitchen table from Kakashi’s old home here. It has a haphazard collection of miscellaneous chairs tucked around it – they added the ones that Tsunade left at the residence to the mix.

The bedroom is still empty apart from the old mattress and a few boxes that they crammed here when they had to make space in the living room for reassembling another bookshelf they brought from the smaller apartment – Kakashi has more books than Sasuke knows what to do with. He found them from under the bed, from Kakashi’s wardrobe, hell, even from the kitchen cabinets when they were packing. And not just those filthy, cheap things Kakashi carries with him everywhere but also classics Sasuke remembers his mother reading, novels Sasuke could read in public himself and a vast collection of shinobi handbooks.

“I will never understand how you manage to make the probably most expensive suite in the whole of Konoha sound less than satisfactory just like that,” Kakashi contemplates and pulls down his mask to drink from his own water bottle.

He simply stares back when Sasuke tries to glare at him for saying that. The sad thing is that Sasuke’s glares have never really worked on Kakashi.

Before Kakashi can comment anything back, there is a knock at the door.

”That’s probably for me,” Kakashi sighs, tugs his mask back in place and stands up to go check who it is.

Sasuke walks up to the window after Kakashi leaves. He watches the view over the village – the Hokage residence is high up in the east wing of the Tower, and he can see almost all of Konoha from here, especially on a clear day like this. The Uchiha district is there at a distance, it stands out from the rest of the village with its more traditional style of houses and composed colours.

The break in the wall should be fixed by now, and if not, then at least somebody should be working on it at the very moment.

Sasuke hears Kakashi speaking with someone at the door, but the distance muffles the words. He wonders what it is about – it’s Saturday and even Kages have days off. That is why it feels weird that anybody would have any business with the Hokage today. It must be something important since whoever it is deemed it necessary to come to see Kakashi now.

Or maybe it’s just Gai or Yamato or some other friend of Kakashi’s. Though Sasuke is pretty sure he would know by now if it was Gai.

Sasuke runs his fingers down the windowpane. This place doesn’t feel like home yet, and he already mourns the loss of Kakashi’s old apartment, the cosy feeling of it. Naturally, he still has his own house back in the district, but that’s not what comes to his mind when he thinks of home.

And Kakashi is the Hokage now, and that changes things. Sasuke remembers the long looks and stares the guest threw at his way during the inauguration party, and he can’t help but wonder how long it will take the Elders to have a fit and send someone to throw him out. Though he doubts that Kakashi would let them.

Sasuke hears Kakashi close the door and head back to the bedroom.

“What was it?” Sasuke asks, still facing the window, when Kakashi appears at the door.

“The Daimyou has sent me yet another message.”

That makes Sasuke glance at him over his shoulder, and the questioning look on his face prompts Kakashi to continue.

“He wants me to go travel all around the Land of Fire, meet all the important people, make connections. I’ll probably have to meet the other Kages as well. This trip is apparently expected of every new Hokage,” Kakashi sighs and couldn’t sound more fed up with all trivial formalities that have been poured down on him. “As if I didn’t have my hands full already with just the village. I don’t understand how Tsunade bothered with all this.”

“Hn.”

“The Council has agreed to it as well. That means that I’m apparently going and you’ll need to prepare the squad for the journey,” Kakashi states and stops in mid-step, shaking his head as if he came to the conclusion just now. “And you’ll have to come with me too.”

It isn’t as grave news to Sasuke as it is to his Hokage – Sasuke gets out of the village for a while and he is glad to take that chance whenever he can.

“How long will we be gone?”

“A few weeks, at least,” Kakashi says and stuff his hands into his pockets. “Really, if it depended on me – which it should, considering I’m the _Hokage_ – I wouldn’t leave. But when the Daimyou decides something, we just have to go along with it…”

Sasuke lets Kakashi mutter in peace and focuses instead on the practicalities.

“When do we leave?”

“At the end of the month.”

“You have a couple of weeks to stabilize the village and show the Council what you are made of. It’s going to be fine.”

“I guess so,” Kakashi says and heaves a sigh. “People come up with ridiculous things when they have too much time on their hands. Since Naruto defeated Pain and the Alliance was formed, all kinds of these utterly pointless formal events and whatnots have been popping up.”

Sasuke gives him a small, sympathetic smile before he looks out of the window again – he almost wishes it was raining, because that would fit his suddenly sombre mood much better. But it’s only the afternoon sun that he sees shining over the village.

”What are you thinking about?” Kakashi asks, his chin on Sasuke’s shoulder – his steps were so silent Sasuke didn’t hear him walk across the room to come to wrap his arms around Sasuke’s waist.

”It doesn’t feel like home,” Sasuke admits in a quiet, defeated voice.

Kakashi presses his lips against Sasuke’s neck.

”Then let’s make it feel like one.”

Sasuke snorts.

“That is, by far, the corniest, cheesiest thing you have ever said to me,” he scoffs like it’s a bad thing, but leans his back against Kakashi’s chest anyway. Nagging about something makes him feel much more like himself.

“Does that mean that you didn’t like it?”

“Hmph,” is what Sasuke answers to that because the hell if he is going to admit that he secretly enjoys the overly-sappy pick-up lines Kakashi keeps finding from his stupid books.

“So you _did_ like it,” Kakashi says, his voice light and casual, but when Sasuke glances at him over his shoulder, he has a smug expression on his face.

“Shut up,” Sasuke huffs without any meaning and turns around so that he ends up facing Kakashi, Kakashi’s arms still around him. Then Sasuke kisses the self-satisfied smirk from Kakashi’s face.

It doesn’t take long before Kakashi has him pinned against a wall, Sasuke’s legs wrapped around Kakashi’s hips and Kakashi’s hands on his waist to hold Sasuke up. The kisses are eager but easy, they are familiar enough with each other that Kakashi teases him between the kisses with the stupidest, cheesiest lines he can remember from his novels, and when Sasuke tries to hit him over the head to make him stop, Kakashi dares to pretend to drop him.

Kakashi can’t stop laughing against Sasuke’s shoulder when Sasuke curses and hisses and seethes at him.

“Do that again and next time it’s you who gets to be pushed against a wall,” Sasuke spats and pokes Kakashi into his chest.

Kakashi hoists him up to get a better grip on him to make sure that he won’t let Sasuke really fall.

“You would like that,” he quips back and purposely makes his voice deep and gruff and seductive, and Sasuke really hates him sometimes.

“And I left Naruto for you,” Sasuke sighs and casts his eyes upwards, but under all that he loves the genuine laughter his statement gets out of Kakashi. He pulls Kakashi closer until he is pressed tightly against him. A sharp intake of breath escapes Sasuke’s lips when their hips grind together.

“You know, I have been thinking – ” Kakashi says in that infuriating tone that makes it impossible to tell whether he is joking or not. It doesn’t help that he does this just after kissing Sasuke senseless, “ – that the room we looked at could be the living room and – “

“You’re not arranging the layout of the place _now_ ,” Sasuke hisses against Kakashi’s mouth, his grip tight on the man’s shoulders.

“But the couch would look good in the corner and – “

“You’re not bringing that old couch here.”

“Hm?” Kakashi raises an eyebrow but leans in right after to kiss Sasuke again to distract him.

Sasuke puts a hand over Kakashi’s mouth to stop him but the asshole of a Hokage presses kisses on his fingers instead.

“It’s lumpy and screechy and hard and full of dog hair,” Sasuke gnarls and removes his hand because obviously it isn’t of any help. “You’re not going to bring it to the Hokage residence, for gods’ sake.”

“Nah, nobody’s going to see it anyway,” Kakashi says, dismissing Sasuke’s point completely and goes to kiss him again. His hands, still holding Sasuke up, inch lower. “And think of all the memories we have made on that thing.”

Sasuke needs a better threat.

“If you want to fuck me on a couch, it’s better be a new one. I refuse to have my back ruined on that shoddy thing.”

“I’ll buy you a new couch then,” Kakashi answers and it sounds exactly like he said yes just to make Sasuke shut up. Kakashi traces the lines of Sasuke’s neck with his mouth and finds the place where the cursed seal used to be. Sasuke is sure there is going to be a new mark there tomorrow.

And then Kakashi starts _moving_ against him and Sasuke, as angry as he is, follows his lead to find the same rhythm, though it’s only after he has yanked Kakashi back to himself and bit his lower lip.

“No, focus. A new couch,” Sasuke growls between the kisses that get deeper with each and every one. And when they shift a little and find a better angle, his words are almost groans. “Hatake – I fucking swear – I’ll burn all those books of yours – ”

“Yes, yes, I’ll buy you a new couch. Two couches. Now shut up.”

And Kakashi takes him there against the wall, but this time his hold on Sasuke is strong and sure. His hands are steady and firm, and though Sasuke knows he might have bruises after this – on his hips, on his back, on his thighs –  he knows Kakashi won’t let him fall.

And for a moment, Sasuke can let go of everything but this.

They stay there for a moment afterwards – their chests heaving against each other, Sasuke’s pulse drumming in every part of his body, and Kakashi’s hands shaking and cramping just lightly under Sasuke’s weight.

Sasuke rests his forehead on Kakashi’s shoulder and tries to get his breathing to calm down. He hasn’t still untangled his fingers from still gripping Kakashi’s shirt.

“You okay?” Kakashi asks against Sasuke’s neck just below his ear, his mouth ghosting over the pale skin. His voice is quiet like a whisper, and at Sasuke’s quick nod, Kakashi lowers him down slowly, making sure that Sasuke’s feet carry his weight.

Getting back to work doesn’t sound tempting when they are both still so out of breath and tangled together. And since they haven’t really had time to just relax ever since they got together, they sit down on the old mattress that Kakashi already decided to throw away.

The large apartment is quieter than Kakashi’s old flat, Sasuke realises as he lies there on his back and listens to his rapid heartbeat pounding in his ears – there are no neighbours that could be heard through walls and the sounds of the everyday life the villagers don’t get carried all the way up here.

“Do you think the ANBUs just sit there outside the building and watch us?” Sasuke asks when the question pops into his head, and moves his arm away from resting over his eyes so he can glance at Kakashi.

“They should have enough decency to look the other way,” Kakashi answers and doesn’t seem the slightest concerned.

“Even Hare?” Sasuke asks, feeling drowsy, and is surprised to notice how little he cares. Of course the fact that his team keeps an eye on Kakashi all the time and consequently on them bothers him, but honestly, he knows the team well enough by now that he is more joking now than anything else.

“Ah, well…” Kakashi drawls, drawing out the word, and smirks at Sasuke with a raised eyebrow. It’s the scarred one, slit in the middle. “No, really, don’t worry. They know when to take their leave. What brought this up – did they already ask you about us?”

Sasuke scrunches up his nose and turns away from facing Kakashi. His hair falls all over his face and he has to brush it away. He hears Kakashi chuckle.

“You’re the newbie, they’ll tease you for a while but they’ll find something else to gossip about soon enough. That’s how it works.”

“Hn.”

Sasuke studies Kakashi who is sitting on the mattress next to him, his long legs crossed, leaning his elbow on his thigh. Sasuke is close enough that he can now nudge Kakashi to his side with his knee.

“Doesn’t it bother you? That the team – _we_ are always keeping an eye on you?”

Kakashi doesn’t say anything at first – he stretches his arms over his head and his back gives a nice crack sound. He lowers his hands, rolls his shoulders and looks down at Sasuke.

“What do you think?” he asks but doesn’t wait for Sasuke’s answer. “I’m just going to have to live with it. And you too, I hope. But it is a little unnecessary to have so many shinobis to watch after me when I’m fully capable of taking care of myself and there are so much other things to be done. I’ll try to arrange actual missions for you once things calm down at the office, that should help a little.”

Sasuke hums – it’s a noncommittal answer because he has no idea what he should say.

Kakashi slumps down to lie on his back next to him. He blows his hair from his face and turns to look at Sasuke.

“Do you know when the next Council meeting is? You haven’t been in those since the case of your clan was closed.”

“I don’t know. I don’t care,” Sasuke scoffs and tenses at the thought of the Council.

Sasuke hasn’t had any interest to go the meetings. Not that there has been time for there to be that many of them since the night that changed a lot in Sasuke’s life – he has missed maybe one or two now. Sasuke knows it’s almost childish of him to keep avoiding the Council, and he is painfully aware that all it does is to make him look weak in their eyes. But he has no will to go sit there with the Elders and the clan heads and talk about the concerns of the village and the well-being of the villagers when the same people just flat-out refused even to honour Sasuke’s clan with the truth.

“Fuck the Council,” he mutters under his breath and closes his eyes. He hears Kakashi agree. Instead of thinking about the Elders, it’s much more pleasant to focus on the fingers playing with his hair.

And really, the Council doesn’t get anything done anyway, does it really matter whether Sasuke is there to annoy them or not?

Honestly, he would get so much more done just by himself –

Sasuke’s eyes widen.

“ _Fuck the Council_ ,” he repeats, stressing the words as he tries to keep the idea from slipping his mind, and sits up in a hurry.

That’s the answer.

“What?” Kakashi asks, almost startled by Sasuke’s sudden jump, and props himself up on his elbow. His brows furrow as he tries to grasp Sasuke’s plan and it’s a familiar expression from their missions together. “Yes, fuck the Council, but how exactly?”

“They won’t get anything done. They refuse everything I ask. They don’t care about me, so why should I care about them?” Sasuke says, lost in his words as the thought sharpens and becomes clearer and clearer.

“Yes, and?”

“I’m just going to do what they can’t. Okay, so they won’t arrange an orphanage in the village. I can do that. I have a part of the village all to myself. Hell, I inherited more money than I can ever spend. I can have some of the houses renovated and hire enough staff to watch after the children.”

“Fuck the Council,” Kakashi parrots, a lop-sided grin flashing on the corner of his mouth. Sasuke can already see that he has come up with something. “You should do that. A public orphanage built by the village would need the Council’s agreement, but since you, a private person, are renovating your own property to start a charity business, you just have to get all the usual paperwork sorted out. You don’t have to bother the Council at all.”

“It seems that all those hours studying before your inauguration didn’t go to waste. I knew there were perks to dating a Kage,” Sasuke smirks and is glad to have Kakashi agree to his plan because he is still feeling somehow lightheaded and flabbergasted at the same time. “I have no idea where to start or what I should get done, but fuck, I’m going to do this.”

“It certainly beats running after Danzou.”

“So you say,” Sasuke huffs and gives Kakashi a slight push. He doesn’t appreciate the dry comments. But Sasuke is in a rebellious mood today, because the next thing he says is: “Is there any way we could get rid of the whole Council?”

“Where did that come from?” Kakashi asks, looking scandalised and amused at the same time.

Sasuke shoves him again but launches on an explanation all the same.

“When you really think about it, the whole Council system is flawed. There are only the clan heads and the Elders, and they represent only a minority of the village. The villagers can’t affect who gets chosen into the Council, they don’t have any say in basically anything,” Sasuke says, thinking at the same time as he speaks, each word sharper and determined than the ones before. “The Council is just full of old, prejudiced, presumptuous people who are too afraid of losing their face that they would make any actual changes. They are scared of anybody who goes against them. That explains all the discrimination against my clan – they were killed because they had the courage to rise against the Council.”

Kakashi nods solemnly at this and lets Sasuke continue.

“The people should get to choose – the Council members should get the position in an election, voted by the people – they shouldn’t get the seat just because they happened to be born in the right family,” Sasuke huffs and takes a look at Kakashi. “It’s the same with the Hokage, no offense. The Hokage title was first passed down from a brother to another, then from a teacher to his student. The Fourth was Jiraiya’s student, who in turn was taught by the Third. Tsunade is the First’s granddaughter. You are the Fourth’s student, picked to lead by the Fifth.”

It really sounds bad when he says it out loud. 

“Nobody asked whether the people wanted you to lead, it was Tsunade’s decision. And yours. And probably the Daimyou’s and the Council’s and who knows who else’s, but the point is that the villagers of Konoha weren’t asked. Again, no offense, and I’m not saying they don’t want you as their Hokage. But that’s the truth.”

“No, I get it. You’re absolutely right,” Kakashi says. He narrows his eyes as he thinks and sits up. “The problem is that changing that would take years. How could you get the Council members to agree to willingly let go of their power? We can get rid of the Elders with time, but there will always be new clan heads. I could arrange a voting system for the Hokage title right this second, but it won’t make any difference if the Council is still there.”

“And the Hokage can’t just dismantle the Council?”

“I wish I could. But the Hokage doesn’t have that much authority over the Council,” Kakashi sighs. “At least during peace. If the village was in a state of emergency, then the Hokage would have supreme power and could in theory reconstruct the whole way the Council is organised. Or decide not to have a Council at all.”

“So Tsunade could have done that if she had been conscious when Danzou tried to take over? Or Danzou could have fired the Council members when he was in power?”

“Yes. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but sadly, we are living an era of peace now. So unless you want to throw a coup and have the village under martial law, I don’t think there is any chance of getting that change through.”

“Well, I’m tired of politics anyway,” Sasuke says, though he isn’t quite as nonchalant about the improbability of the change as he tries to make himself out to be. Now that he has found yet another reason for loathing Konoha, it’s not easy to just let all the injustice slide. But it seems that this is something that he just can’t do anything about.

“Planning to quit the Council then?” Kakashi asks, his voice lighter and more casual than his topic, and inches closer to Sasuke.

Sasuke stops to weigh the pros and cons of marching up to the Council and submitting himself to listening to their bullshit. There is suddenly so much happening in his life – does he really have a time for a Council seat, the leadership of the Hokage’s guard, a relationship and building an orphanage?

But is he willing to let go of the few things he has left from his family?

“No. No, I don’t think that I will give my seat up. If nothing else, then I can at least pop up to annoy the Elders every now and then,” Sasuke grins. “I want to see their faces when they realise what I have done right under their noses.”

“Good. Then I’ll have somebody I can roll my eyes with when the Elders agree on something completely stupid,” Kakashi agrees, his expression that of a cunning Hokage, but he is also sneaking a hand under Sasuke’s shirt.

So much for the planning then.

Kakashi gives him an innocent look, batting his eyelashes, when Sasuke raises his gaze from the hem of his shirt and up at Kakashi.

“No,” Sasuke deadpans. “We don’t have time for that now.”

“Maa, Sasuke-kun, don’t be so – “

“No. This place is not even half-way finished and we’ve just wasted who knows how much time. If we don’t get this done today, you get to crash at Gai’s. I’m not letting into my house if you’re this annoying,” Sasuke states, untangles himself from Kakashi and stands up.

As all Kakashi does is to blink at him, sprawled all over the mattress, Sasuke curses something about lazy-ass idiots under his breath. But when Kakashi finally makes an effort to get up, Sasuke offers a hand to him to pull him up.

Kakashi certainly doesn’t need any help but he takes the offered hand anyway.


	28. Wind Shear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I'm not dead, just very late.
> 
> I'm sorry to say that my updating schedule is probably going to be slow from now on. I'm going to be horribly busy with my studies for the next few months (all the teachers say that we are going to have no life besides our studies, help!), but I'll try to write whenever I can. 
> 
> That being said, here's the chapter.

_June,_ _the fifth year of peace  
__The Land of Fire_  

There is always a certain kind of excitement in stepping out of the village gates and taking to the road. On the day the Hokage and his team leave for their journey, the experience is also exhilaratingly liberating. For a few weeks, Konoha and all the problems there will be the farthest thing from Sasuke’s mind as they roam around the Land of Fire and sleep under the stars. No Council breathing down his neck, no spies lurking in the shadows and certainly not any pissed-off teammates hanging about. And because this is not a regular mission with a tight schedule but a formal visit of the Hokage, there might just be time for sightseeing too.

Sasuke almost grins behind his ANBU mask.

Kakashi has decided to travel light – only the members of his guard accompany him on his journey to the various parts of the Land of Fire. He trusts his advisors and the Council to take care of Konoha while he is away, though Sasuke got him to leave only after Tsunade promised that she would take the reins if something went awry. The Elders and some of the high-ranking shinobis from Konoha will be joining the Hokage for the meeting with the Daimyou and the other Kages later in June, but for now, there are only the seven of them wandering through the thick forests of the Leaf. And when it comes to appearances, it makes Kakashi look better as the Hokage and the protector of the Land of Fire when he arrives to the civilian villages with a small squad, ready for battle instead of an army of servants and slimy politicians swarming around him.

As the red walls of Konoha slowly disappear from the view behind them, Sasuke’s posture loosens up instinctively, the tension in his jaw disappears and even the sun seems to be suddenly shining brighter. When the village vanishes into the woods, it’s like Sasuke learns a whole new way to breathe. Kakashi glances at him, a knowing smile crinkling his eyes, and when Sasuke glares back, Kakashi just shakes his head and waves his hand dismissingly.

Considering that the ANBUs already know about them, Sasuke promptly ditches the protocol to come to walk at Kakashi’s side instead of behind him. The team takes this as a sign and soon the five masked ninjas relax and start chatting as they leap from one branch to another, joking and gossiping and teasing Sasuke who has grown not to care. Kakashi chuckles at the whole thing.

The last two weeks of May were gone before Sasuke really even noticed them, they disappeared like into a whirlwind. The Hokage leaving the village for over half a month isn’t something to be taken lightly, and Sasuke and Kakashi – sometimes along with the ANBU team – had spent a couple of days studying maps, familiarising themselves with the blueprints of the buildings they are supposed to visit and planning how the security of the village should be handled while they are away.

While Sasuke, as the leader of the Hokage’s guard, was tasked with organising watch shifts for his team during their journey, checking their gear and ordering new weapons to replace worn ones, his team continued with the search around the village. In the end, they didn’t find any other clues after that jackpot with the tunnel in the outer wall, but that doesn’t necessarily say anything about whether their spy problem is solved.

Sasuke’s duties as the captain of the guard kept him busy, but the few days he could spare Sasuke spent on his plan of opening an orphanage. He didn’t – and still doesn’t – have any idea where he should start, but at least trying to pick a suitable house or two had seemed like a sensible thing to do. As soon as Sakura had heard about the plan, she had volunteered to help, and the two of them had walked around the district several times, hunting for any buildings that had weathered all the years being unvacated and unpreserved.

They had eventually decided on a few large houses near the wall that separates the district from the rest of the village – one for the offices and staff, the others for the children. They hadn’t had time to do much else than to carry all the old pieces of furniture out and start cleaning the place from bloodstains and years’ worth of dust, but it was a start. Kakashi stopped by to help when he could escape his Hokage duties, and with the three of them working on the buildings, it was almost like Team 7 was together again.

Almost. Naruto was hard to miss when he was around, and now that he wasn’t there, the empty space where he was supposed to be was somehow more noticeable than Naruto himself could ever hope to be.

So, Sasuke has the houses and the will to do what the village can’t be bothered to attempt, but when it comes to the practicalities of owning an orphanage, he is in uncharted waters. The trip away from the village puts a stop to his planning – he can continue to wonder what the hell he is supposed to do when they come back.

But Sasuke chooses to leave those are worries behind him for the time being, and the few of weeks on the road and away from Konoha and the messes Sasuke has made there are like a pleasant holiday. The six ANBUs have grown comfortable enough with each other that countless days spent together in small spaces or around campfires don’t cause any awkwardness. Everything works efficiently, Sasuke doesn’t have to roll his eyes at anybody for wearing an orange jumpsuit, and Kakashi gracefully bows out of ordering the team and lets Sasuke do his job in peace.

The days spent under the sun and on the road remind Sasuke of the missions he had when he was still a ninja of the Sound. The Land of Fire was the one country he never ventured into back then – it would have been a risk for Sasuke to return there after abandoning his birth village, and Orochimaru was never so reckless to let him go there. He was afraid that Sasuke would change his mind and go back home, so the safest thing had been to keep Sasuke away from the temptation altogether.

Now Sasuke get to see the grand sights of the Land of Fire, visit its cities and landmarks and peek into the lives of its people. He is invited to the nobles’ palaces and castles, since as the captain of the guard, he acts as the Hokage’s bodyguard and stands behind Kakashi’s back in every formal meeting.

Kakashi endures the meetings and ceremonies and all the hassle that comes with them as only a shinobi accustomed to being on the frontlines can. He is well-equipped to handle the snobbish nobles and politicians who say one thing and mean another – Kakashi isn’t praised for his tactical mind for nothing. He bests them easily with his wit and manipulates everyone into working in his favour, but it still doesn’t change the fact that he would rather be out in the field on missions. Kakashi was never meant to end up with a desk job, and as a former ANBU commander and a scarred war veteran he could just as well be from a different planet than the nobles he has to put up with. At this point Sasuke is convinced that Kakashi asked him to be the leader of the guard just to have somebody there to subtly kick him in the shins when he starts to look too bored.

But while they do have to suffer through the dry meetings, they also have time to go sightseeing, and it isn’t that unusual for the Sixth Hokage to steal the captain of his guard away into the busy cities, traditional villages or the vast gardens that surrounding the beautiful castles. Most of the time they lose the uniforms and shinobi gear, and they wander around the streets dressed like any average tourists, pointing things out for each other, popping into random restaurants and visiting fancy museums and palaces.

As much as Sasuke longed for the road when he was in Konoha, he didn’t quite remember just how much he loves the life of a traveller until he gets to live it again. The fact that he now has someone with him only makes it better. Kakashi did his share of roaming around when he was younger, and the more Sasuke listens to his – horror – stories about his missions, the surer he is that there isn’t a building in all the Great Shinobi Countries that Kakashi hasn’t sneaked into.

Even the stars look different here and Sasuke really wouldn’t mind if they never returned to Konoha ever again.

 

o0o

 

_The 20th of June, the fifth year of peace  
_ _Castle City,_ _t_ _he Land of Fire_

Eventually, their journey comes near to its end, and the seven shinobis arrive in the capital for the Hokage’s audience with the Daimyou. Kakashi is swept off to his date with the head of the Land of Fire as soon as their group gets to the formidable gates of the massive city. The Daimyou’s excited servants steer Kakashi towards the castle the second they get their hands on him, and Sasuke and the ANBUs, who are like air to the retainers, have to trot after them through the busy streets.

Kakashi is ushered around the colossal castle and into the main hall, but when the ANBUs try to follow him into the meeting room, the servants and castle guards stop them. Even Sasuke, the leader, isn’t let through – the servants explain that it would be considered an offense to the Daimyou if his guest would bring armed shinobis with them when the Daimyou himself is unarmed and the castle he is so proud of is considered to be the best protected fortress in the land.

In the end, Sasuke and his team can do nothing but wait. Sasuke chooses to stay there himself and sends the ANBUs to go check out both their lodgings and the suite reserved for the Hokage and to take a break. After a long day of travelling the squad members are happy to have a moment for themselves, and Hare even dares to salute Sasuke, probably with a cheeky grin behind his mask, before he spins on his feet and runs after his teammates.

Sasuke glares at the castle servants when they fuss over him, and he is quickly left alone in the hallway to get lost in his thoughts.

The Elders are already in the capital – the Hokage’s first official meeting with the Daimyou is politically too important for them to let Kakashi handle it on his own. Sasuke caught a glimpse of them just before the heavy door of the main hall was shut in front of his face, the pair of them were sitting there and sucking up to the Daimyou. Sasuke sneers at the memory.

The other Kages are probably here too – the united Shinobi Nations celebrate their fifth anniversary on the day they joined their forces to fight Pain and Akatsuki. This time the honour of arranging the conference fell on the Land of Fire, hence the Daimyou’s castle as the setting. And celebrate might be a wrong word for it – this year the Kages discuss the Alliance and their treaties during their gathering while the actual celebration is left for later. This August, it will be five years since Naruto defeated Pain, and to honour the new era of peace they have enjoyed ever since, the Shinobi Countries will doubtlessly arrange a lavish party of some sort at the end of the summer.

Sasuke huffs, crosses his arms and drums his fingers against his elbows. The Hokage must attend whatever gala is organised, and consequently Sasuke has to go too. And that means more of this, waiting. At least he will be in his uniform with his face safely hidden behind a mask so the guests won’t stare at him like he is some monster that crawled from Orochimaru’s test laboratories. Even if he kind of is.

He doesn’t know how much time has passed when the door finally opens and Kakashi steps out with the Elders in tow. As Kakashi holds the door for the old couple, Sasuke bows at them. His neck is stiff and his teeth gritted together.

The Elders pass by Sasuke without a second glance, they barely notice his existence, and it’s with the same aloofness that they leave without addressing Kakashi.

Kakashi waits until the Elders have turned around the corner and disappeared from their sight before he turns to Sasuke.

“Where are the others?”

“I told them to go rest for a few hours,” Sasuke answers, his voice quiet just in case the Elders or the overly-enthusiastic servants might be eavesdropping.

“Good,” Kakashi sighs, closes his eyes and massages his neck. “Let’s go outside, my head is a mess after that meeting. Don’t tell anyone that I said this but the Daimyou is one hell of a babbler.”

They find their way out of the castle and into the courtyard, and from there into the garden. The Daimyou’s high castle is a magnificent sight with its many roofs and intricate designs, but the endless garden surrounding it is even more beautiful. It’s no wonder that the Daimyou takes all the pride in it and encourages his guests to visit it just as much as the city. The garden spreads out from the courtyard of the castle and towards the mountainside, and it’s like a tiny forest of cherry trees on its own, a labyrinth of pathways.

They pass by several pagodas, ponds filled with koi fish and lanterns that line the paths through the garden, their pace slow enough that Sasuke has time to note how many tourists there are traversing through the garden. He is wearing his ANBU armour, he is still on duty, and he doesn’t dare to make any indication otherwise when he sees the castle guards and even some nobles roaming around, respectively observing the guests and admiring the view. Sasuke sticks to keeping quiet and walking a few steps behind the Hokage and a little bit to his left, just as is expected of a bodyguard.

Kakashi, like always, notices this, and after a subtle glance around he leads them deep into the garden and towards the part where the tourists don’t seem to happen upon. They walk over a small decorated bridge, and after a while of following a tidy path they find a clearing in the middle of cherry trees. There is only a wind shaking the leaves, birds singing in the trees, and a slight sound of chatter from other parts of the garden. A warm summer breeze has cherry blossoms dancing in the air.

“Is something wrong?” Sasuke asks when they are alone and he can lose the formal act.

“No, no, I just needed to get some fresh air. All this formal grandstanding makes my head hurt,” Kakashi says with a huff. “Next time somebody tries to talk me into taking a job that involves dealing with people, remind me to say no.”

Sasuke snorts and rolls his eyes in the safety of his mask. He walks past Kakashi to go to study the trees – his mother always dreamt of a garden like this. She wished that they had had enough room for a cherry tree in their yard while the Daimyou has a forest of them.

”Take the mask off, ”Kakashi says behind him, and though he is the Hokage and Sasuke the leader of his guard, it’s not a command.

”Why?”

”I can’t see your face if you have it on.”

”You don’t get to say that,” Sasuke scoffs as exasperatedly as he possibly can but takes the mask off anyway.

Kakashi smiles at him then, one of the open, honest smiles Sasuke has come to see from him only recently. Kakashi has his hands in his pockets, his weight on one hip, and his sharingan is spinning slowly almost as if he was imprinting an image to his memory.

”You’re being weird,” Sasuke states and shakes his head. Kakashi is sometimes just as bad as Naruto.

”Don’t I get to be happy?” is Kakashi’s retaliation which he presents with one raised brow and an amused tone in his voice.

”You don’t have to be so obvious about it.”

Kakashi chuckles, his eyes closed with the smile. He closes the distance between them with a couple of lazy steps.

”You have petals in your hair.”

”I do not – oh, hell,” Sasuke scoffs and brushes the cherry blossoms off with a hasty shake of his hand. ”If you start to wax poetics about me being like some frail maiden with flowers in my hair, I’m going to strangle you.”

”I wouldn’t dream of it,” Kakashi agrees and picks the one petal Sasuke missed from the dark hair. “You look very manly.”

”You’re really annoying when you’re in a good mood, did you know that?”

”So you have told me. Several times.” Kakashi agrees in a pleased tone. He is tall enough that Sasuke has to raise his chin a little when he looks him in the eye. Kakashi brushes a lock of dark hair behind Sasuke’s ear.

”Are you going soft in your old age?” Sasuke asks with a smirk on his lips when Kakashi leans down towards him. He snakes up a hand, slowly curls his fingers under Kakashi’s mask and plays with the fabric before he pulls it down.

Kakashi looks at him with gentle eyes, and smiles when Sasuke traces his scar with a gloved index finger.

”Probably,” he says and kisses Sasuke.

It’s not a hasty or needy or particularly passionate kiss but it’s not meant to be. It’s slow and almost sloppy and a little bit cheesy, and that’s just fine. Kakashi has one hand on Sasuke’s waist, the other cupping Sasuke’s neck, tilting his head just slightly to the side, and his eyelashes brush against Sasuke’s cheeks.

Sasuke rises on his toes to reach him better. Their teeth bump together, and he has to place one hand on Kakashi’s shoulder for support. Kakashi’s hold on tightens. His lips are warm, and the scar that barely misses his mouth is silky and smooth against Sasuke’s skin. The kiss is almost too lazy for Sasuke’s liking – he hums into it, furrows his brows, and steps closer.

A new chakra signature appears somewhere behind them.

Sasuke has a hand on the handle of his sword in that second. His body is tense as he pulls away from Kakashi who has got the mask back on his face so quickly it’s like he never took it off.

”I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt – ” the newcomer rushes to apologize and he is already backing away when Kakashi cuts him off.

”Lord Kazekage,” he greets Gaara, and there is a polite but honest smile in his eyes. He hasn’t let go of Sasuke, he didn’t even step back when Gaara surprised them, and his hand is still on Sasuke’s waist, as if he has forgotten it there.

”Please, Gaara is fine, Lord Hokage,” Gaara says, and as he straightens his back, all the awkwardness of walking in on them melts away with the movement.

”Then I’ll have to ask you to call me Kakashi.”

Sasuke isn’t that excited about the politeness of the Kages. He takes a few steps back from Kakashi to create the illusion of an appropriate relationship between himself and his Hokage.

He knows Gaara by name and has fought against him, but that was almost ten years ago and back then, Gaara had tried his hardest to kill Sasuke. That’s why it’s easier for Sasuke to fall back to his role as the Hokage’s bodyguard and remain quiet, standing a few steps behind Kakashi. Putting the mask back on in the presence of a Kage would be offensive, so he lets the robin mask stay at his hip, but it could just as well be there on Sasuke’s face, so impassive he stays.

Gaara walks all over that plan when he turns to address Sasuke in his husky voice.

”Sasuke, it’s nice to see you too.”

Sasuke thinks it best to nod back – he is an ANBU of Konoha and Gaara is a Kage, but doesn’t mean that Gaara is going to get any excessive politeness out of him.

This is a whole another Gaara standing in front of Sasuke – a rational and calm Kazekage has replaced the blood-thirsty, crazed boy Team 7 fought during their first chuunin exams. Gaara has obviously had a change of heart since then, and with him in the lead, the Sand has been one of the first villages to agree to the changes Naruto spoke for a year ago. 

”I heard of your return. It’s great to see that you have found your way back home. Konoha looks good on you,” Gaara continues and Sasuke has to remind himself that Gaara knows nothing about his life and the fate of his clan. He doesn’t know what the village did to his family or that Sasuke hasn’t had a home ever since the massacre. The young Kazekage is just trying his best to make small talk.

”Thank you,” Sasuke answers because it’s the only neutral thing that comes to mind. His status as an ANBU would require him to add an honouring “Lord Kazekage” after that, but he has never been one to use honorifics. He and Gaara are of the same age, and as far as Sasuke remembers, he would have won their match during the chuunin exams if the Sand hadn’t decided to attack.

Since Kakashi hasn’t subtly elbowed him yet, Sasuke is going to be as blunt as he wants to be.

”Naruto has told me a lot about you,” Gaara says, a serene look on his face that doesn’t elaborate on what exactly Naruto has told him.

The cold feeling that always wakes up whenever Naruto is mentioned raises its ugly head and makes Sasuke’s mouth dry.

”And how is Naruto?” Kakashi steps in, his words hasty as he attempts to steer their conversation towards a slightly less uncomfortable topic. He is doing it for Sasuke, that’s what Sasuke assumes – and it almost annoys him. If Naruto has told Gaara about his relationship with Sasuke, Gaara must understand how awkward it is for Sasuke to talk about him. And now that Gaara literally stumbled right upon them, this looks exactly like what it is –  Sasuke’s new lover swooping in to his rescue.

Sasuke bites the inside of his cheek.

Gaara turns his attention from Sasuke back to Kakashi with ease and grace.

“Naruto has been well, we spent quite a lot of time together actually. I understood that he enjoyed his mission in the Sand very much. If he never becomes Hokage, he will make a great ambassador,” he says with a soft look in his eyes. “But he missed home and left before my journey here. I think he should be back in Konoha by now.”

“Ah, we have missed his return then. I hope he didn’t cause any catastrophes while he was with you, he has a tendency to do that.”

Gaara’s lips turn up in a modest smile.

“No, quite the opposite. He was very well-behaved. We are sad to lose Naruto, but it was time for him to return home,” he says and closes his eyes for a second. “But I should congratulate you two. I hadn’t heard the happy news.”

“This is a recent development,” Kakashi answers, glancing at Sasuke, and Sasuke can hear the grin in his voice. “We haven’t really told anyone yet, so… “

“Your secret is safe with me. I understand far too well how the position of a Kage can create pressure on a relationship, let alone if it was a public one.”

“Thank you,” Kakashi says. Sasuke knows him well enough that he notices how Kakashi’s shoulders relax.

“But I’ll leave you two in peace. Kakashi-san, we’ll see tomorrow in the meeting, and Sasuke, I’m sure we’ll run into each other at some point,” Gaara says and turns to leave. His cloak flows with the movement.

Sasuke steps forward.

All this talk about Naruto has made him think back to last winter and what Naruto once said about the Sand agreeing to open orphanages. The ninjas of the Sand must now have the experience of arranging the buildings, organising their staff, dealing with children – they know what one should pay attention to. As the leader of the village, the Kazekage must have all the connections to the right people. If Sasuke plans to proceed with his idea, he needs help.

And Gaara is right there.

“Actually, if you have a minute – “

 

o0o

 

_The 25th of June, the fifth year of peace  
__Castle City, the Land of Fire_  

It’s the final evening of their stay at the capital. All the meetings are over, the Kages have discussed what they came here to discuss, and the Fire Daimyou has reason to boast about his hospitality for years to come. The Kages will depart with their entourages tomorrow morning after sunrise and life will soon return to normal.

Most of the guests have retired for the night, but Sasuke is up in the room he shares with his team. He is going through their gear and weapons, making sure that they are in working condition, checking maps for their route and preparing himself and his team for the way back to Konoha tomorrow. The Elders and the rest of their company will be traveling with them and that will make their group large and slow – they will need all the daylight they can get to journey safely.

His ANBUs have spread around the castle to keep an eye on the Hokage and all the many guests the castle houses, though with the fortress being as safe it is, they’re most probably just keeping Kakashi company if he hasn’t gone to bed yet.

The room is barren and bare and situated in the wing reserved for servants, a bit tiny and cramped for the six of them. Sasuke has stayed most of the nights here with his team except for a night or two up in the suite reserved for the Hokage. Those rooms are a stark contrast to the small chambers the guard members are issued with, and Kakashi whines about every lavish, extravagant room the Daimyou and the nobles have given him during their journey – he thinks they’re horrible.

One of the two lamps in the room burned out last night and nobody has been here to fix it yet. Now the space is dim and murky and the remaining lamp is also making its best efforts to die – it’s flashing on and off in the corner of the room.

Sasuke hasn’t got far with his examination, he just got here and still has his mask in place, when the door opens and the Elders march in.

“ANBU, remove your mask,” Mitokado Homura says in a raspy voice and pushes up his glasses. He expects obedience immediately and scowls when Sasuke doesn’t spring into action the second they barge in.

Utatane Koharu takes her place next to him and gives Sasuke an already disapproving glare.

“We expect to see your face when we speak to you –” she states, her chin up and eyes narrow as she gives Sasuke a condescending onceover, but she is cut off when Sasuke does as he is told and takes off his mask.

His eyes are cold and indifferent as he meets the Elders’ gazes – there is not a trace of emotion on his face.

“Uchiha,” Homura says and clearly expects a greeting of a kind from Sasuke. He won’t get any.

“Some very disturbing information has come to our knowledge,” Koharu begins, drawing out the words and taking long pauses to emphasise her authority. All it really does is annoy Sasuke.

“Concerning the Hokage – ” Homura adds and it’s really like dealing with one entity which has two heads, so in synch the Elders are with each other.

Sasuke knows where this is headed. This is what he has been dreading. If the Elders have come to talk to him about Kakashi, there is only one possible reason for that.

“ – and the nature of your relationship with him,” Koharu finishes

Sasuke doesn’t even blink.

“What of it?” he asks and forces his voice to stay level as if he has no idea what the Elders are implying.

Homura takes a second to adjust his glasses again while Koharu clears her throat.

“We have reason to suspect that you are… involved with him,” Homura explains and looks up at Sasuke. “And we simply can’t accept that. If word got out that the Hokage is in a relationship with a traitor to the village, it would cause a scandal. We refuse the have the legacy left by the first Hokages to be tainted so.”

And there it is. Sasuke isn’t even surprised, how could he be when he can’t think of a single thing that has ever gone as planned in his life.

Sasuke closes his eyes, breathes through his nose, and faces the Elders again.

“And what makes you think that I am, as you said, involved with him?”

“Do you deny it?”

“ _I asked_ , what makes you think that?” Sasuke won’t admit anything to these old fossils. Not because he necessarily wants to hide their relationship, but because it isn’t any of their business. It just drives him up the wall that the Elders have got wind of it in the first place.

“You have been seen spending more time with him that is expected of the leader of his guard. You caused that indecent at the inauguration party and made the Hokage abandon his role to come after you, only hours after he had taken the title. That was a disgrace,” Koharu explains in her nasal voice, and it’s clear that in her mind, what happened during the party was entirely Sasuke’s fault. As if Kakashi hadn’t been the one to make the decision to come after him.

“Really? Is that you all you got?” Sasuke scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “Let me tell you something. I have known Kakashi for years, we’re _friends_. Friends tend to spend time together and look after each other. It’s a strange thing, isn’t it?”

Homura seems almost disappointed that Sasuke tries to stall this conversation. He adjusts his glasses yet again and pins his gaze on Sasuke.

“You were seen in a compromising position with him.”

Sasuke stares at him.

“When?”

Sasuke can’t understand what Homura means by that. As careless Kakashi and he might have been – since they haven’t been hiding anything – they have still never shown any affection towards each other in public, at least in Konoha. Yes, during this trip they have been taking more liberties, but nobody has caught them red-handed except for Gaara. As far as Sasuke knows, only the members of the guard and Gaara should know about the change in their relationship. Sasuke might still be a new acquaintance with the ANBUs, but Kakashi has known them for years and trusts them not to tell anybody. And Gaara would certainly have no interest to gossip about them with the Elders of Konoha.

So unless one of Sasuke’s team has turned traitor – or just blabbed to the wrong person while drunk – both of which Sasuke seriously doubts, the Elders are bluffing.

“That is for us to know, not you,” Koharu snaps, her voice high, and it’s clear that she has come to the same conclusion as Sasuke – if they can’t name the occasion they, or someone working for them, supposedly saw Sasuke with Kakashi, their proof isn’t any proof at all. And what reason would the Elders have to keep it a secret?

“Then I’ll say it’s a misunderstanding.”

“We do not care what you say about that incident or the details of your relationship with the Sixth. We have a definitive source telling us that you have been seen with him. All we care about is that you put a stop to it,” Homura states. He takes off his glasses to clean them with the hem of his shirt. He doesn’t even look up at Sasuke when he continues. “From this day forward, the only relationship you have with him will be purely professional. There shall be no indication that you are more to him than the leader of his guard, and considering that your status is not public knowledge, you’d better to stay away from the Sixth altogether when you are not on duty. Not a word about what might or might not have happened between you can get out.”

Sasuke’s fingers dig into his arms. His jaw is clenched tightly as he regards the Elders in front of him.

“And what makes you think that I would even think of doing as you say? What are going to do? Keep us apart? My job is to guard the Sixth Hokage with my life. And he is my friend – are you going to stop me from ever laying my eyes on him again?” he growls. “You didn’t even have the courage to bring this up with Kakashi, oh no, you came to bully me. As if he has no say in this.”

“The Hokage isn’t the problem, you are. And there are many ways to make your life difficult if you don’t do as you are told,” Koharu says, her last words turning almost into a hissing sound. “You are in such a good place in your life now, aren’t you? It would be such a shame if something happened. The sad thing is that when you are happy, you have many things to lose. Status, property, the remains of your reputation…”

“Yes, now that it was brought up, what is it that we have been hearing about you planning to build an orphanage on the village grounds?” Homura butts in, as if the idea just came to him and he hadn’t planned this conversation beforehand. “There is a lot of paperwork in the way of getting it started. And we all know how paperwork can be delayed for months, years, for who knows how long.”

“Are you threatening me? On the vague suspicion that I might be somehow involved with your dear Hokage, especially when you have no proof?” Sasuke sneers. “And you dare to call yourselves politicians. What would Konoha do without you?”

“You are the one using the word threaten. We are members of the Council telling their subordinate how to behave,” Koharu says, straightens her back and dares to present herself like she is somehow a good person.

Besides her, Homura nods.

“We are simply making sure that no harm comes to the village,” he says and keeps his gaze locked on Sasuke. “So let’s make this straightforward enough for you to understand. If there is nothing going on between the Hokage and you, then everything is fine and you can continue to live your life away from him. And if there is something going on, you will make a quick end to it and make sure that there is no reason for any rumours to start circulating.”

Sasuke swallows the “Fuck you” that tries to escape his lips. He answers Homura’s gaze evenly and keeps the eye contact as he places his porcelain mask on his face. He scarcely even glances at Koharu. He has had enough of their bullshit.

Sasuke opens the window behind his back and climbs out without a word.


	29. Lunar Eclipse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, kids, some words of wisdom. Don't go to university/college/whatever because that takes all your time and ruins your career as a fic writer. No, just joking, study, it's good for you. (But bad for your writing.) 
> 
> I've been ridiculously busy, I've barely had time to write, but here this chapter finally is.

_The 26th of June, the fifth year of peace  
_ _The Land of Fire_  
  
Cold water drips from his soggy hair on his neck and from there down his back to soak his undershirt. The metal of his armour feels cold through the drenched fabric, the wet tree branches are almost slimy under his feet, and he has to constantly keep adjusting his ANBU mask to prevent it from slipping off his face. 

For once in Sasuke’s his life, he can’t be back in Konoha soon enough.

Sasuke bites his cheek, signals Eagle to go check the forest on the west side of the convoy, and tugs the knot on the strings that are supposed to keep his mask in place. His head is as mushy and grey as the rainy woods around them – he was on night shift last night, and now the dark circles under his eyes nearly match the shade of his hair. This morning, the Elders ordered the entourage of Konoha to leave the Daimyou’s palace at the crack of dawn, right after Sasuke’s shift ended, and so they successfully robbed him of any sleep he might have had, had they departed an hour or two later.

Sasuke resists the urge to rub his tired eyes. His wet hair has latched onto his forehead under the robin mask, and he would be shivering if it weren’t for all the running around keeping him warm. Sasuke glances over his shoulder at the group on the road – at least the other shinobis of the party look just as miserable.

Weeks earlier, when their group consisted only of the Hokage and his guard, their small company had been agile and free to trek across forests and uncharted lands like the shinobis they are. Now, the presence of the Elders and their assistants and numerous staff transforms their efficient team into an official entourage of the Hidden Village of the Leaf. That results in formal goodbye ceremonies with the Daimyou, parading bodyguards, and more general snobbery than Sasuke is equipped to deal with.

On top of all that, the Elders have got it in their heads that considering their respectable age and position, they should make the journey in horse carriages like nobles and wealthy civilians. As opposed to the shinobi way of travelling on foot, their ridiculousness equals to the whole company sticking to wide public roads, a longer route, and numerous stops so the Elders can stretch their legs after sitting on their asses for a few hours. The rest of the ninjas are less fortunate – they walk alongside the carriages in the pouring rain, pulling their vests and jackets better on to shield themselves from the chilly summer flood.

Sasuke’s team, despite all the other Konoha nin accompanying them, is still responsible for the safety of the entourage as well as the Hokage’s. The six of them are spread in the forest around the convoy to look for any potential threats and unlikely assassination attempts. Sasuke, with his red glowing eyes, is in the lead, ahead of the main group, and his teammates are flashes of white in the darkness behind him. This operation feels almost a little too excessive, when so far, the only enemies they have encountered are the trees that slosh a bucketful of freezing water on them if they make the mistake of landing on a branch too harshly.

All of this Sasuke could somehow bear if he didn’t have to live with the fact that the Elders are watching him. This morning the old couple had thrown meaningful looks at Sasuke’s way the second they had found him in the same room with the Sixth Hokage. Their gazes had followed him through the preparations and excessive ceremonies, and the scrutiny is yet to stop. Even now, when Sasuke is far away from the main group and the Elders’ sight, he can still feel their eyes on him. It’s not hard to imagine them sitting comfortably in their warm carriage, watching him squirm and just waiting for him to slip up.

Sasuke hasn’t talked with Kakashi yet, he hasn’t managed to say a word to him since the Elders ambushed him last night, and he is sincerely starting to doubt whether he is going to have a chance to try before they reach Konoha. His night shift of the guard duty was something he couldn’t abandon, even for this, so he had had to rage at the injustice of this all by himself. Also, considering just how cunning and ruthless the Elders can be, Sasuke wouldn’t put it past them to send someone after him, and if Sasuke had run straight to Kakashi last night, he could have just as well shouted it from the rooftops that there was something going on between them.

Sasuke had planned to pull Kakashi aside this morning to break him to news, but the Elders had walked in right then. The Hokage had been busy since the moment he had woken up, people kept running in and out of his room to ask him this or that regarding their trip back, and when that was done, Kakashi had been swept off to bid the Daimyou a formal goodbye. Sasuke had had to content himself with trying to stay awake and making sure his team was ready to leave at a moment’s notice.

Now Kakashi is walking alongside the carriages – he is too much of a shinobi to even think about the comfort of travelling in one of them. He is talking with the ninjas around him, his back straight but his hands in his pockets, balancing the duality of being both their commander but also still one of them. The rain has turned his hair grey, and he is just as soaked as the rest of the group, but the delicate red markings of the Sixth Hokage on his back can be spotted even through the heavy downpour. Every time Sasuke thinks about going over to him with the excuse of a status report, either a shinobi jogs up to Kakashi to ask for instructions for whatever problem they have at the hand, or somebody peeks from the window of the Elders’ carriage and puts a stop to Sasuke’s plan.

Sasuke shakes his head, gives up and tries to focus on his own task of keeping the company safe while concentrating on not breaking his ankle on the slippery branches. Kakashi and he wouldn’t have any privacy on the road anyway.

It’s only hours later, when the sun is about to set somewhere behind the dark, heavy rainclouds, and they have stopped for the night that Sasuke finally manages to catch Kakashi’s eye. The rain still hasn’t ceased, and by now the mood of the group has lowered from everybody trying to suffer through the downpour to accepting death by flood. Sasuke nods towards the edge of their makeshift camp and heads there when he sees Kakashi make a hasty apology to the people he was speaking with.

They can’t go far, but a lonely, empty carriage at the edge of the forest gives them enough cover to have a moment for themselves. Kakashi greets him with a subtle smile, a knowing look in his eyes and a joke on the tip of his tongue, but when Sasuke doesn’t remove his ANBU mask and stays at a distance, Kakashi is quick to drop the amused expression. He assumes the role of the Hokage again – he straightens his back and seems to gain a few inches of height, but the worried look on his face is genuine.

They need to look like the Hokage and the leader of his guard, and nothing more.

The last traces of that easy smile disappear quickly from Kakashi’s face when Sasuke explains their situation to him. His hushed voice can barely be heard over the roar of the rain. Sasuke rests his gaze on Kakashi’s shoulder, on the already wet fabric of his shirt that gets darker and darker as they stand in the downpour. His words come out sharp and harsh, and just as stiff as his posture that he has to keep as one of an ANBU.

It’s a rash, jerky movement when Sasuke finishes and turns his head to look at Kakashi. He is beyond furious now that he has had to relive last night and that there is this chilling, nerve-racking feeling that the Elders might be watching them even now. It makes him nervous, and the fact that the pair of old bastards are able to do that to him pisses him off even more.

Kakashi’s anger shows only in his eyes. His wet hair fans over his face, but his sharingan glows blood red and spins wildly, and the dark one is like a storm. Nothing in his body language reveals how outraged he is – his stance is still relaxed, his chakra is under control as is his face – but when he lets his gaze roam over the camp, searching for the Elders, Sasuke recognises the look that he has so far seen only on battlefields.

“And they dared to talk to me this morning like nothing has happened,” Kakashi mutters, his eyes focused on the Elders’ carriage on the other side of the camp. His eyes turn colder with every word. “As if they didn’t threaten you yesterday.”

“I don’t even bother trying to be surprised,” Sasuke scoffs and makes an effort not to glance where Kakashi is looking. Somebody is bound to notice if they both just stand there and glare at something together, and that’s really not what they need right now.

Kakashi sighs and focuses his attention back to Sasuke.

“So, what now?”

“Obviously I’m not going to break up with you just because they tell me to,” Sasuke answers right away, so fast that he sounds almost rude. “I won’t let them boss me around because of some vague threats. It’s none of their fucking business in the first place.”

Sasuke kicks a pebble at his feet. When he looks up at Kakashi, Kakashi’s expression isn’t as relieved as he expected it to be.

“What?”

“We can’t just ignore this,” Kakashi says, frowning. He steals a glance towards the Elders’ direction again. His shoulders tense, his eyes narrow, and all the previous anger gives way to more realistic thinking. It’s been a while since Sasuke has seen him this serious, so on edge and ready for battle. “The Elders won’t hesitate to ruin your life because of this. They’re so fixated on the reputation of the village that we can’t take this lightly. It’s your life we are talking about here – “

“So instead I should let them dictate what I do with it?” Sasuke asks, quirking his brow, and falls back to his arrogant tone. Then he realises that of course Kakashi can’t see his expression through the mask. He crosses his arms, tilts his head to the side and sighs. “Can’t you just have them arrested for blackmailing me?”

“Don’t you think that they have something planned for that? They would just take you down with them,” Kakashi snaps back, and even though he doesn’t raise his voice, it feels like he does. “It’s not worth the risk. I won’t put you in danger like that.”

“What do you suggest we do then? Sneak around and pretend we’re not together?”

Sasuke knows Kakashi and his face well enough that he can see it even with the mask in the way that Kakashi clenches his jaw and presses his lips together.

“The Elders probably have someone watching us. They did say someone saw us,” Kakashi states in a tight voice without answering Sasuke’s question. He doesn’t meet his gaze either. Kakashi’s focus gravitates back towards the other side of the camp and from there on the drenched shinobis that have spread around the small clearing.

“But we still don’t know whether they were bluffing,” Sasuke adds. He has to force his shoulders and hands to relax. His nails have pressed red crescents on his palms through his gloves. “But is this really what this comes to – that we have to hide and sneak around like we have done something wrong? And how long are we supposed to keep that up?”

Kakashi only looks at him with sad, wide eyes – either at a loss for words or choosing to stay silent to prevent himself from saying something that would set Sasuke off worse.

His silence just aggravates Sasuke more.

“I mean it. Weeks? Months? _Years?_ Until the Elders die? And what if it doesn’t end even then, what if the Council finds out at some point and they think they have the right disapprove? I can’t – I –  ” Sasuke trails off as the cruelty of the situation finally sinks in. He had wallowed over the fact that the Elders had the nerve to do this to them in the first place, he hadn’t really though what it would mean in the long run.

Sasuke wants to take the few steps separating them and rest his head on Kakashi’s shoulder and curse, because he is tired and angry and all they have managed to do so far is to snap at each other. But Kakashi is the Hokage, Sasuke is one of his ANBUs, and they have audience.

“This is one of those moments when I really wish I hadn’t talked you into taking the Hokage title,” Sasuke says, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath through his nose. “If I had kept my mouth shut, if you had said no, you would be just a jounin and nobody would care if you were sleeping with a former traitor to the village.”

“I know,” Kakashi whispers after a sharp intake of breath, his words barely audible. 

“This is how it’s going to be as long as you are the Hokage, isn’t it?” Sasuke says in a weak voice as the realisation hits him. “It doesn’t matter whether it’s the Elders or the other Council members, somebody is going to have a problem with us either way. We will always have to hide."

A sad, desperate laugh escapes him.

“First we wasted a year to running away from each other, and now that we are here, we can’t even talk in public without somebody running to tell the Elders.”

“Do you want to give up then?” Kakashi asks, his eyes dark and tired and older than they should be. His voice is hoarse like his throat is raw and hurting. “It would be easier to let go now when it’s only been a month. It will be harder after a year or two.”

Sasuke’s heart stops.

“You don’t mean that.”

“I didn’t want this to happen to us, of course I didn’t,” Kakashi answers. His gaze jumps to Sasuke and away from him and back again. He sticks his hands into his pockets to stop himself from fidgeting with them. “But how can I ask you to be with me when we both know how hard it’s going to be? I can’t be so selfish that I would ask you to stay when that would put everything you have built in danger. When my position as the Hokage will always – “

“Lord Hokage!”

The shout cuts Kakashi off. Sasuke can already see a wild look of fear flash in his eyes when he thinks they have been caught, and it does nothing to ease the knot in Sasuke’s stomach.

They turn towards the direction of the sound and see a jounin from their group walking closer, a map in his hand.

“Sir, could you please come here for a second?” he asks and looks at Kakashi.

Sasuke closes his eyes in the safety of his ANBU mask and balls his hands into fists. When he somehow finds the strength to look at Kakashi again, he meets his gaze. Kakashi is too tired to even pretend to smile and his apology is written all over his face.

“Sasuke – “

“Go,” Sasuke says, draws a deep breath and shakes his head. He keeps his eyes off Kakashi when he speaks next. “We can talk about this later.”

For a moment, it’s like Kakashi would want to say something – he is still standing there, his unsaid words hanging in the air – but just before Sasuke gives in and glances back at him, Kakashi spins on his feet, brushes his wet hair from his face and walks away as the Hokage he is.

Sasuke watches Kakashi make his way towards the camp and knows full well that the next time they’ll have a chance to talk won’t be until they get to Konoha.

 

o0o

 

_The 30th of June, the fifth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_  

The moon has risen high over the walls of Konoha and the night turned dark when they finally reach home. The streets of the village are quiet and empty, and their large group is surprisingly quick to disperse – everyone is in a hurry to get home and to their own beds. After the Elders leave, Sasuke helps out with the carriages and horses since everything else seems to be in order, but his tired eyes are already drooping, and his head is buzzing with fatigue. As soon as Lion jogs up to him to inform him that the Hokage has told the team to go home, Sasuke nods, refuses to search the diminishing crowd for Kakashi, and heads towards the Uchiha district.

Sasuke spent the rest of the journey behind the cover of his mask, avoiding the Elders, anyone that could be working for them, and Kakashi. Avoiding Kakashi was much easier than staying away from the Elders. As there were only shinobis of Konoha around them, Sasuke no longer needed to stick to the Hokage’s side, and his new duty as a lookout meant that the only times he actually was with the main group were during the breaks. During the few hours Sasuke had to spend with the main group, he noticed that the Elders had found themselves a new hobby – they gave Sasuke knowing looks whenever they caught his eye at the campsites, and that seemed to be often.

Kakashi, on the other hand, was apparently just as happy to steer clear from Sasuke as Sasuke was to stay away from him. Since their last conversation was left on such a sensitive note – the whole discussion was really just a collection of loose ends – they ended up in a situation where the pretence of a purely professional relationship stuck, and the few times they actually exchanged words during the trip back, they acted like strangers towards each other, strangely polite and formal.

It’s not that Sasuke doesn’t understand why Kakashi is so uncertain about this, of course he understands, because he doesn’t know what to do either. He detests the thought of hiding, but the last thing he wants to do is to give up when that’s what the Elders are after. Sasuke also knows that Kakashi will never agree to openly opposing the Elders, especially now that it’s Sasuke they are threatening and not Kakashi.

Neither of them wants to break up, but when the only option left is to keep hiding, possibly for the rest of their lives, Sasuke can’t really disagree what Kakashi said about giving up now. That would be the sensible thing to do. 

It’s with a heavy heart that Sasuke survived through those days, and the same could be said about Kakashi. His posture never fell or his leadership wavered, but there were a couple of times Sasuke caught Kakashi watching him, as if he had forgotten himself into his thoughts. Kakashi always gave him a sad smile when he noticed Sasuke looking back but quickly moved on to his next task as the Hokage.

Tonight, the Uchiha district is a black blotch in the middle of the sea of warm lights of the village. Sasuke walks through the empty streets, his eyes laid low and thoughts elsewhere. If nothing else good came out of that journey, at least he got in touch with the Kazekage. Gaara had been more than happy to agree to help with the plan for the orphanage, and he had promised Sasuke that he would send some of his staff to help later this year once things calmed down after the peace celebration. That means that once the houses have been cleared out, all Sasuke has to do is wait.

Sasuke gets to the intersection that leads to the houses he chose for the orphanage. There is a light in the windows of the office building, and a shadow like someone is moving inside.

Sasuke narrows his eyes and changes his course.

He gets to the yard of the house just before the door is thrown open.

“Sasuke! You guys are back!”

Sasuke stares at Sakura in slight bewilderment, blinking, because she isn’t really what he was expecting. She is beaming at him, her sleeves have been rolled up to her elbows and the light coming from inside the house make her hair glow red. Strangely enough, with her standing right in front of him, there are still sounds of movements coming from inside.

“Is it really this late? I didn’t realise…” Sakura wonders out loud and peers at the sky, scrunching her nose up at the darkness. Sasuke stares at her in silence, he can’t come up with an reason for why she is here.

He gets even more confused when she turns to call out over her shoulder into the house.

“Guys, it’s time to head home!”

An incomprehensible shout can be heard as an answer, and then Sakura’s yelling something back and exasperatedly shaking her head. Her short, messy ponytail sways with the motion. She seems awfully at home here.

“What is going on?”

Sakura spins around to face Sasuke when he finally manages to get his voice to work again.

“Well, I told a few friends about what you were planning to do here with the orphanage and they really liked the idea. And since you are pretty much alone with his and now you had to be away for so long, we thought we could help you out a little,” she explains, a wide but still somehow almost shy grin on her face. She rocks back and forth on her feet. “So, we have been cleaning and repairing the place, and then we realised that we all had some old furniture we don’t need lying around, so… It’s only the office building, but I think it’s starting to feel kinda cosy and – “

“Sakura – ” Sasuke begins, his eyes wide and words breathy and thin like somebody had just punched him in the gut, but halfway through his voice dies out as he realises he doesn’t know what to say. A overwhelming feeling gratitude accompanies the chills running along his spine. Sakura gives him a small smile and tilts her head to the side so that a lock of her hair falls from behind her ear to fan over her face.

When Sasuke gets his voice back, he goes with the safest thing to say.

“What do you mean _we_?”

Sakura blinks, points up a finger and opens her mouth, but before she can elaborate on the matter, Ino and Kiba come through the door behind her. Kiba’s still tugging on his shoes, but Ino is already pushing him forwards with an irritated look on her face. Akamaru peeks at Sasuke and Sakura from behind her.

“Everything’s ready for tomorrow,” Kiba says with a toothy grin while jumping on one foot and struggling with his shoes. Ino steps past him and rolls her eyes. Akamaru dashes over to Sakura who bends down to pet the dog goodbye.

Kiba spots Sasuke only now.

“Sasuke, man, what’s up?” he calls out. Sasuke, surprised that Kiba even acknowledged him, just nods.

Kiba waves a hand to Ino, says goodbye to Sakura and walks away with Akamaru.

Ino is not as an easy case. She comes to stand at Sakura’s side, her hands on her hips as she stares down at Sasuke from her place on the porch.

“So, the prodigal son has returned. Fancy that,” she comments with a stern expression on her delicate face. “Now, Uchiha, listen. If you ever even think about making Sakura sad again, I’m going to kill you with my own two bare hands. And don’t think even for a second that I won’t do it. She deserves all the happiness and I won’t let any guy ruin it for her. Am I understood?”

For a second time in less than ten minutes Sasuke finds himself staring at a young woman in silence and slight awe. But honestly, there is really only one thing Sasuke can say to that.

“Yes,” he answers, meets Ino’s gaze heads on, and means what he says.

A slow, self-satisfied smirk spreads on Ino’s face. She scrutinises Sasuke for a while, probably waiting for him to back down, but Sasuke holds his ground and eventually Ino believes him.

“Good. It’s great to have you back, pretty boy,” she grins and winks at him. At this point, Sasuke is beyond confused.

And just like that, Ino brushes him off, hugs Sakura, says something about seeing her tomorrow and leaves.

When Sakura is left alone with Sasuke, she seems almost bashful.

“It wasn’t just Ino and Kiba, all of our old classmates have been helping. Lee was here earlier, and Tenten and Shino came by yesterday and – I know I should have asked for your permission, but I didn’t know whether I could contact you since you were… you know, with the whole ANBU thing going on,” she babbles on, not really looking at Sasuke but slightly off him. She waves her hands as she speaks until she realises what she is doing. She blushes, tangles her fingers together and takes a deep breath before her final reveal. “And this is kinda a part of a bigger surprise. If it’s okay with you, that is.”

Sasuke raises an eyebrow.

“And what is that?”

“I thought that since Naruto came back last week and now that you’re home, and Sensei too, that we could have a party tomorrow. Naruto missed Sensei’s inauguration and I couldn’t attend that evening party, so we could celebrate him now.”

“A month late?”

“Hey, it’s a huge thing to become Hokage, and we didn’t get to celebrate that with him. And Naruto was gone for so long that his return is a reason for a party too.”

“Okay, but what does that have to do with you dragging your friends here to clean this place up?” Sasuke asks and glances at the house behind Sakura. He’s stalling, he knows that, but he is so not ready to face Naruto right now, especially when things have got complicated with Kakashi.

“I was wondering if we could have the party here,” Sakura admits with a nervous smile. Her voice gets higher and quieter with every word. “Since I invited our all old classmates and Gai’s team and Sai and Yamato and all our teachers and Tsunade-shishou and we don’t really fit anywhere else… “

Sasuke doesn’t want anything to do with this party, because it involves people and _Naruto_ and he will probably have to talk to Kakashi too. But Sakura’s his friend, and he honestly hasn’t seen her for a month. And there is a chance that Ino will appear from the darkness and maim him if he says no.

“Fine, do as you wish, I don’t care,” Sasuke huffs, outwardly as cool and collected and uninterested as always. “It’s not like I need the houses for anything else right now. Is there anything else I should know about?”

By now, Sakura is looking almost guilty.

“I was kinda planning that the party would be a surprise for Naruto and Kakashi-sensei... Ino promised to keep Naruto busy tomorrow and I was thinking that maybe you could distract Sensei.”

Sasuke presses his lips together. Just a week ago that request wouldn’t have been a problem, but right now, when they haven’t talked for days and Sasuke isn’t honestly sure whether they are even together anymore, he is a little hesitant. Especially when Kakashi and he are supposed to make everyone think that their – non-existent, if the Elders gets what they want – relationship is only professional.

“Come on, Sasuke, please. I’ve got everybody else busy with the preparations, so I have nobody I can ask except you.”

Well, Sasuke has to talk with Kakashi at some point anyway. He might just as well do it tomorrow.

“Okay, I’ll distract him,” Sasuke gives in. He hears a muted _Yesh!_ from Sakura and rolls his eyes. “If distracting him is possible in the first place.”

At least it’s not Naruto he has to keep an eye on.

His house is dark and lonely when Sasuke finally finds himself standing in front of it. His feet are sore from all the travelling, his head is aching, and he is surprised at how tired he is – keeping constant guard up around the Elders is more tiring than he thought.

Sasuke sighs at the sight of his house, swings the bag he had with him on the journey down on his porch and goes through the full pockets of the bag to find the key.

When he gets the door open, he is greeted by a pile of mail, letters and newspapers and advertisements flooding all over his floor. Sasuke sighs again and wishes that he could just turn around, let the mess be where it is, lock the door behind him and go to sleep at Kakashi’s. Since he can’t very well do that, he moves his heavy bag inside, slams the door shut and grabs an armful of the letters. It takes a little adjusting and hoisting and balancing, but eventually he gets all of them in one go, and takes his loot to the kitchen where he drops his mail on the table.

A couple of identical letters marked with the sigils of the ANBU headquarters – only recognisable by those who are already in ANBU – catch his attention. He gets his mission straight from the Hokage, so they can’t be any assignments. Sasuke massages the back of his neck and squints at the letters, but a yawn escapes him before he can get himself to open them. He has to furiously blink to keep his eyes open, and when another yawn immediately follows the first one, Sasuke decides to save the letters for the morning.

And with that thought he goes to bed and falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

 

o0o

 

The next morning, Sasuke doesn’t even glance at a clock when he wakes up. It’s weekend, he has the day off, and he refuses to think about anything that concerns the village or his old team. He drags himself to the kitchen in his sleeping clothes, tucking his hands under his arms to keep himself warm. He boils water for tea and rummages through his empty cabinets for any food – there is none, being away for a month tends to do that – and all that he lets himself ponder about is the list for groceries and the fact that he needs new kunais, and that he has a huge pile of laundry waiting for him.

Sasuke heads back to the bedroom with a steaming cup of tea, some of the mail from yesterday, and a book Kakashi has forgotten here tucked under his arm. However, his plans of a quiet, calm morning are interrupted when there is a knock on his bedroom window.

Kakashi gives him a tiny wave from the other side of the glass before he opens the window and lets himself in.

“Nobody saw me coming here,” is his greeting as he closes the window behind him, his back turned to Sasuke.

Before he acknowledges Kakashi, Sasuke tosses the letters and scrolls on a chair in the corner of the room and lays the teacup on the nightstand along with the book. He slumps down to sit on the edge of the bed which is unmade and still warm where he was sleeping only half an hour ago. Only now does Sasuke look at Kakashi.

Their last conversation is still on his mind. Sasuke waits in silence for Kakashi to start this one.

When Kakashi eventually gets himself to speak, he doesn’t beat around the bush.

“The spy’s hiding place has been found.”

“What _?_ ”

“It is in the attic of one of the apartment complexes near the lands of the Nara clan. There were clear signs of somebody having lived there for a while, torn shreds of handwritten notes, old leftovers and whatnot,” Kakashi tells him, his mask still in place as he stands on the other side of the room. “But it has been empty for a while. The whole place was covered in dust when the genin team that found it stumbled there.”

“Genin?” Sasuke asks, just as dumbfounded as he was before Kakashi started his explanation.

Kakashi scratches the back of his head.

“They had a D-rank mission to clean the attic.”

So, an elite ANBU team can’t find the spy’s hideout even after weeks of searching, but a genin team runs into it on accident. Sasuke swallows the swear words that thought causes and tries to focus on the matter at hand.

“When was this?”

“Last week. I found the report when we got back yesterday. Of course we can’t be sure whether it was our spy’s, but he is the first one that comes to mind when you think about the possible owners of that junkyard.”

“But we don’t know where the spy is?”

“No. But he hasn’t been there for several weeks. We know that I had the tunnel shut off a month ago,” Kakashi says and for the first time in days there is a genuine grin sneaking on his face. “Maybe we closed his only way in when he was away from Konoha.”

This far into his life Sasuke has learned not to be an optimist, but sometimes he lets himself be carefully hopeful.

“I could live with that,” Sasuke says and leans back on his hands. His chest heaves with the deep breath he takes. When the morning sun finds his closed eyes, all he sees is red behind his eyelids.

Kakashi is still standing in the same spot, his shoulders up and tense, not unlike one of his dogs that has been left in the rain. He is uncharacteristically quiet and hesitant now that he has run out of official village business to inform Sasuke off. He looks tired too, like he hasn’t slept.

Sasuke gives in.

“Get here,” he mutters, moves to the side of the bed that is near the wall, tucks himself under the blankets and waits for Kakashi to comply.

Kakashi kicks off his shoes, removes the vest he wears as the Hokage and pulls the thick dark shirt with the mask over his head so he has only his undershirt on. He climbs on the bed and soon, for a change, it’s Sasuke who gets his arms full of someone needing closeness. Kakashi, as tall as he is, rests his head on Sasuke’s shoulder and curls himself against his side. His legs are cold against Sasuke’s.

“You know,” Sasuke begins in a quiet voice after a while of studying Kakashi’s pale eyelashes and wondering whether Kakashi fell asleep just like that. Sasuke moves his arm into a better position from under Kakashi so it won’t get numb. White hair tickles his mouth.

“Hmm?” comes the barely conscious reply.

“We almost did exactly as the Elders wanted. All on our own.”

“That we did,” Kakashi agrees, his eyes still closed. Sasuke can feel the slow, deep rise and fall of his chest against his side.

“You haven’t slept,” Sasuke states as he considers the dark circles under Kakashi’s eyes.

“Had to go through the urgent messages and reports last night.”

“Workaholic.”

“You’re just as bad as me.”

“Hn.”

As comfortable and calming as this is – as much as Sasuke would like to pretend that the conversation in the rain somewhere in the backlands of the Land of Fire never happened – Sasuke can’t keep avoiding their problem.

“What are we going to do about this? About the Elders?” he asks in a defeated tone, his gaze forgotten on the ceiling. They have only bad options left, but in truth, it doesn’t matter how much the thought of hiding threw him off his feet, he still prefers that to breaking up. “Do you think you could live with us keeping this a secret?”

Kakashi tenses against him before almost sagging against Sasuke’s side.

“You know why I’m hesitant – “

“You don’t have to protect me,” Sasuke interrupts him, sharp and adamant about this. There is a certain weight in his words. “I can take care of myself.”

Kakashi cranes his neck so he can look Sasuke in the eye. His brows are furrowed, but not in anger but thoughtfulness.

“The Elders are threatening you. They won’t directly hurt me if we stay together, but they might try to ruin your life. And succeed. I want you to know that,” Kakashi says in a low, deep, quiet voice. He sighs. “But that also makes this your choice.”

Sasuke knows that staying together means sneaking around and stressful times for them both, but he has never been one to accept oppression towards himself or someone else.

“I won’t let them tell me how I should live my life,” Sasuke says. The smile Kakashi gives him is both happy and sort of given up, like he knew that this is how Sasuke would answer, and he both dreaded and hoped for it.

Sasuke lets one corner of his mouth quirk up with a smirk.

“And I think I like you enough to keep tolerating you.”

Kakashi snorts.

“I’m flattered,” he comments in a dry tone. “I can say that I don’t despise you, you brat.”

“Asshole,” Sasuke snaps back immediately, almost on a habit, but his widening grin takes all the bite from the insult.

“Let’s keep tolerating each other then,” Kakashi states, and while his words might be playful, the look in his eyes is serious.

“Go to sleep, you old man,” Sasuke says, rolls his eyes and pokes Kakashi to his side. That is his way of dealing with whatever emotions might have woken up because of that gaze.

His tired Hokage closes his eyes soon, the dark circles under them prominent in the light of the morning, and this time he might just truly fall asleep. Sasuke reaches over Kakashi to grab the book from the nightstand, and after a moment of moving around and trying to find a good position between the wall and the tall man curled up to his side, Sasuke manages to hold the book in one hand and get started.

It doesn’t take long before he realises exactly what kind of a book Kakashi has forgotten at his place.

Sasuke rolls his eyes and nudges Kakashi to his side, but only so slightly that he doesn’t wake him up. He considers getting up and fetching a better book, but that would mean untangling from the warm sheets and arms wrapped around him. It’s really not worth it, and Sasuke accepts his fate and decides to find out what is so special about these trash novels anyway.

He must have made a disapproving noise at some part of the dirty chapter because Kakashi mutters a sleepy “What?”.

“Why do you read this shit?” Sasuke asks and throws a disbelieving glance at Kakashi. He waves the offending book at Kakashi’s direction before he continues reading.

“The plot is good.”

“What plot, there is no plot – _oh my god_ , people don’t bend that way,” Sasuke whines and makes a face at the novel. Kakashi chuckles, the first genuine sound of happiness of the week from him, and tightens the grip he has on Sasuke’s waist.

Sasuke takes another look at him.

“Seriously, did you sleep at all last night?”

“Don’t ask such difficult questions this early in the morning.”

“Couldn’t you have saved some of the paperwork for today?”

“I thought the plan was that today you’ll distract me from finding out about Sakura’s party. So I came here to be distracted,” Kakashi mumbles against Sasuke’s neck and yawns in the middle of the sentence.

It takes a moment for that to sink in. Sasuke opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again.

“How do you know about that?” he asks in a weak voice.

That results in Kakashi turning his head and blinking one, red eye open to stare at him.

“I know everything.”

 “No, seriously, how do you know about that?”

“Gai sucks at keeping secrets. He gets so excited,” Kakashi explains and buries his face in Sasuke’s chest again. “So, distract me.”

Sasuke hits him over the head.

“No.”

Sasuke picks up the book, suffers through the lewd parts and reads a few pages before putting the book down again.

“Do we have to go? To the party.”

“I guess. I feel awful enough that Sakura is organising the party for me, I would feel even worse if we didn’t go. She shouldn’t have, I never asked her to, the inauguration was already too much…”

“She wants to, so there is no stopping her,” Sasuke sighs. “It will be loud and crowded and half of the people will be drunk as hell. People I last spoke to maybe ten years ago. And Sai will be there. And _Naruto._ ”

“You’ll have to face him eventually.”

Sasuke hums at the thought, not pleased. What do you say to your best friend whose heart you broke, especially you haven’t seen him for months? Sasuke has to think of something. He just hopes he doesn’t have to deal with both Naruto and Sai at the same time.

“Gai will probably challenge you to some stupid competition,” he adds then and glances at Kakashi to see if his declaration had any effect.

“I’ll win it for you,” Kakashi answers in a light tone, sappy and joking.

Sasuke rolls his eyes at him yet again. He pushes Kakashi off him and sits up. The book falls off his lap and Sasuke loses his page.

“At the party, we’ll have to pretend that we’re just…” Sasuke begins and makes a vague motion with his hand.

“Friends?”

“Hn,” Sasuke shrugs. “Won’t we? Even with Naruto and Sakura. We can’t tell them.”

“That’s what it’s going to be from now on. I’m sorry.”

Sasuke considers this for a moment. He knew that going against the Elders would mean difficult choices, but now he has to face the reality of it. And that means hiding something important to him from his closest friends.

“Well, at least Naruto won’t hear about us, get jealous and go all Kyuubi on you,” Sasuke notes in the end, leaning his head on his hand, and causes Kakashi to burst out laughing.


	30. Whirlwind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. Guys. _Guys._ Over 500 kudos. Thank you so much, I have no words.
> 
> Edit: I totally forgot to credit [centsless](http://archiveofourown.org/users/centsless/profile) whose idea this chapter was. Thank you so much!

_The 1st of July, the fifth year of peace  
_ _Konoha, the Land of Fire_

When Sasuke rests his back against the wall behind him, he feels the deep bass sound of the music resonating through the building. The wall is cold against his spine and it makes his bones ache. He leans his head back so that the hard surface scrapes his scalp and closes his eyes.

At the other side of the house, one song ends and another starts. The guests cheer in the living room. Sasuke’s head hurts.

Sasuke has been here, at the party, for almost an hour already, but he got his chance to escape only now. He arrived here a good while before the actual party started and spent a moment standing at the porch of the house, trying to decide between finding the will to knock and hightailing out of there, because neither crowds, tightly packed places or loud music were his thing. Then Sakura had opened the door, yelled something about free workforce and unceremoniously commanded him to go to the kitchen to help with the last-minute preparations. Sasuke’s mind had drawn a blank and left him without a good enough reason to say no, and thus he had found himself working as an errand boy for Chouji who had been announced the unofficial head of the food preparations.

Chopping things and fetching this and that for Chouji was what Sasuke busied himself up until most of the guests started to turn up. Sakura’s voice could be heard all the way from the hall as she ordered people around, both greeting and ushering them inside and away from the narrow hallway. In the kitchen, Sasuke and Chouji exchanged wry smiles – she was quite a handful when she was being this perfectionist, and Sasuke had found that calm and quiet Chouji wasn’t that bad company.

Eventually, Ino and Shikamaru had appeared to abduct their teammate and Sasuke had been left to his own devices in the kitchen. His peace lasted for maybe five minutes, then the guests had started to spread around the house like a wildfire. They found their way even to the kitchen in their hunt for food, and Sasuke decided to take his chance.

The back of the house is a little bit calmer than the living room and the kitchen – not by much, but Sasuke tries to convince himself that there is a difference – and he could use a break from all the noise and general chaos.

The house is bursting at the seams. Sasuke is certain that half of the invited guests must have brought their friends along, because no matter how many times he counts their old classmates and jounin instructors and everyone else Sakura listed yesterday, he can’t come up with this many people. Sasuke sighs deeply at the thought.

“Hiding in here, are you?” a voice says from Sasuke’s right.

“Wouldn’t call it exactly hiding,” Sasuke hums and opens his eyes to look at Sakura.

“Well, that’s what it looks like,” she chirps back and tilts her head to the side as she studies him. There is a hint of sparkle at the hem of her dress, it catches the light in the otherwise dim hallway. “Oh, I forgot to ask you earlier – Sensei’s coming, isn’t he? _Does he_ _know_?”

“He’s coming,” Sasuke says and then proceeds to lie with a straight face. “He thinks I want his opinion on something here.”

Kakashi and Sasuke decided that it would be safer for them to show up separately, and that’s why Sasuke is already here while Kakashi has yet to make his appearance. They also agreed that they would let Sakura have her fun and Kakashi would at least try to pretend to be surprised when he arrives to his – and Naruto’s – surprise party.

Sakura grins.

“Good,” says and beams at him with almost maniacal glee. Then she takes a look at him, blinks and gives him a slow onceover without even trying to hide what she is doing. “You look nice. Did you pick the clothes yourself?”

“Hn,” is what Sasuke answers. The truth, on the other hand, is that even though he himself wouldn’t have cared less about what he is wearing tonight, Kakashi had turned Sasuke’s minimal preparations for the party into his own amusement. He and his ulterior motives lay on Sasuke’s bed, observing, while Sasuke had to go through his entire wardrobe. After every outfit he forced Sasuke to test, Kakashi would scrutinise the look for a few seconds and then reject it. Sasuke had no doubts that Kakashi’s true reason behind having him parade in all the outfits was just to get to see Sasuke take them off. That is also what he said to Kakashi.

“You say such cruel things – turn around, no, it’s still a no – cruel things to your lover. How can you live with yourself, Sasuke-kun?” Kakashi answered, his voice as flat and unimpressed as his expression, and waved his finger to get Sasuke to spin around.

“Don’t call me Sasuke-kun,” Sasuke retorted automatically and started to unbutton yet another shirt Kakashi had turned down.

“If you insist, _Sasuke-kun_ ,” had been the answer which caused Sasuke to climb on the bed to get to strangle Kakashi. That had somehow ended up with him pinning Kakashi down on the bed, Kakashi showing him exactly how he should take his clothes off and, well, the rest of that Sasuke refuses to think about when he has Sakura standing right next to him.

“Even Naruto might forgive you now since you look so pretty,” Sakura smirks, takes another slow look at him from all the way up his head down to his toes, and winks.

“Shut it,” Sasuke huffs and rolls his eyes.

A loud, excited yell echoes from the other side of the house. Sakura covers her ears and smiles apologetically at Sasuke who scrunches up his nose in displeasure. The building is filled with more noise and life than it has seen for over a decade, and that has its downs too.

Sakura seems to have come to the same conclusion as well, though she looks slightly more panicked at the revelation than Sasuke.

“I didn’t even though of asking you this but… Do you think that – are we disrespecting your clan? Since the party is so loud and noisy, and the district is where they died and…” she trails off and forgets herself into staring at Sasuke with wide eyes.

Sasuke has to admit that he never really thought about that. That might be because somewhere along the way when he decided to build the orphanage in the compound, he stopped seeing the district as a memorial for his dead kin, and instead views it as a place for a new start. Sasuke prefers to honour his clan and their legacy with his last name and his actions, not with the empty houses they left behind.

“No. They wouldn’t want me to keep the district as a ghost town forever,” Sasuke says but Sakura doesn’t still doesn’t look entirely convinced.

The best way to get her relax that Sasuke can think of is to tease her.

“And to be honest, once we get the orphanage started, the kids will cause at least as much racket as you guys,” he says and gives her a mild, lop-side grin.

Sakura nods solemnly, but her shoulders relax and now she manages a careful smile.

“I’m not sure whether I thanked you already for letting us come here. So, thank you,” she says and touches his hand with her own.

“Don’t worry about it.”

A loud cheer fills the air and buries even the overbearing music underneath itself. The last one of their two honour guests has arrived.

“That must be Sensei,” Sakura grins and glances at the direction of the sounds. There’s a predatory look on her face.

“Late, as usual,” Sasuke notes and lets the corner of his mouth quirk upwards. “You should probably go save him before Naruto hugs him to death.”

Sakura playfully punches him to the shoulder.

“You’re horrible,” she laughs and shakes her head so that the carefully curled locks of hair that frame her face sway all over her cheeks and get stuck on her lipstick. She brushes them off, waves a hand at Sasuke and goes after their former teacher.

Sasuke watches her leave and listens to the upbeat noise the crowd is making. It was like this, if not even worse and with less restraint, when Naruto arrived with Ino half an hour ago. At that point, Sasuke had been still hiding in the kitchen, but he could well hear the greeting Naruto the Saviour got the second the guests noticed him. Now it’s their Hokage’s turn to bear the brunt of their excitement.

Sasuke chuckles to himself. He can picture the slightly embarrassed smile on Kakashi’s covered face as he stands there, facing the crowd with an absurd excuse for being late even when he wasn’t supposed to know about the party, and the little twitch of his fingers as he longs for a book to hide behind.

Sasuke straightens the sleeve of his shirt and smiles at the memory of how he finally got Kakashi to agree to let him wear at least something for the party. Sasuke, who was already supposed to be leaving, had got up from the bed, wearing nothing at all, and grabbed a shirt without looking from the pile of the rejected clothes. With only the fancy shirt on, Sasuke had glanced at Kakashi who was still lying on the bed in a matching state of undress, and raised a brow at the thoughtful expression on Kakashi’s face.

“I changed my mind,” Kakashi said, leaned his chin on his hand and studied Sasuke with heavy-lidded eyes. “Wear that. Only that.”

Sasuke had thrown a sock straight into his face but hadn’t discarded the shirt.

Now Sasuke chuckles at the memory. _Stupid old man._

A stupid old man Sasuke gets to go home with after this evening is over.

But there is something – or someone – Sasuke has to deal with before that. Naruto.

Even the thought of speaking with Naruto makes Sasuke’s hands cold and sweaty. He tucks them into his pockets and sneers at himself. He hates it that he dreads this so much.

But he also hates it that he can’t talk to his best friend.

Sasuke straightens himself, heaves a sigh and marches into the sea of people in the search of Naruto.

He pushes his way through the dancing crowd towards the living room where most of the guests are. The air in there is hot and it’s difficult to breathe, there is constant babbling going on and the deafening sound of it fills the room. The guests have spread around the room, some of them are standing in groups, some are sitting down, some sway on the floor more or less in the rhythm of the music.

Sakura is dancing with Sai. She has finally let herself to take at least five minutes off, and she is laughing at something Sai said. On the other side of the room Lee, who is apparently supposed to be chatting with Tenten, is looking at Sakura with longing eyes. Next to him, Kiba has left Akamaru at home for once – he is talking with Shikamaru and Shino. Gai, Kurenai and Iruka, along with the rest of their old teachers, have vacated the couch which has been pushed to the corner of the living room. Kurenai has her little girl in her arms, and Gai is reaching over her as he tries to challenge Kakashi into a competition of rock-paper-scissor. Kakashi is sitting on the armrest of the couch, talking with Yamato and avoiding Gai. He has the book Sasuke borrowed earlier today in his hand.

Sasuke isn’t looking for him now, and when he doesn’t see Naruto here either, he wanders upstairs.

Sasuke finds Naruto eventually at the upstairs balcony. He is leaning on the railing and studying the darkening sky. It’s curiously solitary place for someone as bubbly as him.

Sasuke opens the door, but Naruto doesn’t seem to notice anything. Sasuke bites his lip, gives himself a mental kick to the head and clears his throat.

Naruto glances over his shoulder at Sasuke, and a surprised expression flashes on his face.

“Oh, hi,” he says after a pause and tries to smile. The expression looks weird on him – Sasuke is used to the honest, easy smiles, but this one is unsure and almost forced.

“Can we talk for a second?”

Naruto blinks at Sasuke with his big, blue eyes, and Sasuke can almost see how the gears turn in his head.

“I – Well – I guess, yeah, sure. Why not?” Naruto hesitates and twirls his half-empty glass in his hands.

Sasuke walks up to the railing and rests his elbows on it. He keeps a few feet between Naruto and himself, and doesn’t let his gaze stray from where it is locked on the sky and the setting sun.

“Naruto?”

“Yeah?”

Sasuke hears how Naruto shifts to look at him, how his shoes scrape on the floor.

“I’m sorry. About I handled things,” Sasuke states in a level voice and fights the urge to fidget with his hands. He curls his fingers into fists and focuses all his attention on his nails that dig into his palms. “ _Us_. You. I hurt you. I knew it from the start that I didn’t feel as strongly towards you as you did for me. All I did was to cause you pain. I am sorry.”

It takes him a few minutes to find the courage to glance at Naruto.

Naruto looks down just as Sasuke turns towards him, but it’s not on purpose, just by accident. Naruto twirls the empty glass even more frantically in his fingers. His brows are furrowed, but he doesn’t seem angry as he leans his hip against the railing. The glow of the bright party lights coming from inside colour his blond hair with red and green and blue.

Sasuke doesn’t know what exactly was on Naruto’s job description when he was sent to the Sand, but he seems to have learned some skills required of a politician or even an ambassador, because he is remarkably collected and calm when he stops the motion of his glass and really talks to Sasuke for the first time in months.

“Thanks for saying that,” he says, glances up at Sasuke and flashes him a quick, customary smile – it’s more a habit than his intention. “Heh, I probably wouldn’t have managed to say that a few months ago, but I… I have had time to think. It was good to be away for a while, you know, to get some new pers – per – what’s the word – ?”

“Perspective.”

“Yeah, that. And I talked a lot, like, _a lot_ with Gaara, and that was good too. The first weeks weren’t though. After we… you know,” Naruto explains, squints his eyes as he thinks, in his own way which causes his eyes almost close and makes him look like a fox. “And I don’t know if it’s good yet, with you and me, ‘cos I really loved you a long time. Really loved.”

He takes a deep breath.

“Still do, I think, at least a little bit. Yeah, probably always will.”

And somewhere deep inside Sasuke something flickers and makes his heart tighten into a knot, because a part of him will always love Naruto too.

“Naruto – “

“I’m not asking you to try again, if that’s what you were going to ask. I – things have changed and there is someone I – it doesn’t matter, argh,” Naruto tries to explain, gets all tongue-tied and compensates by furiously waving his hands. “I get it now why we didn’t work, and I think it was my fault too. I didn’t listen to you – it’s not like you didn’t tell me if something I did bothered you.”

Sasuke swifts his weight from one foot to another.

“And where does that leave us?”

“I don’t know, teme,” Naruto admits. “I don’t know how to talk to you. I don’t know how I feel. Like, can you imagine that you see someone and you get drowned under this huge wave of emotions, ‘cos you still love them but they also hurt you and that still makes you stomach get all funny and there is this fear of fucking up but they are still your best friend and you want to talk to them about all these feelings but you can’t ‘cos they caused them in the first place and…”

Naruto lets his voice die out and he ends up staring at Sasuke with wide, sad eyes. He bites on his lower lip so hard that it turns white. “Why didn’t you come to see me before I left?” he asks then in a weak, tiny voice, and it makes Sasuke feel almost as bad as when he saw Naruto struggling not to cry during that awful morning. “I wanted you to come.”

Sasuke takes a deep breath through his nose and leans his weight heavily on the railing.

“I don’t know if you’re going to believe me but – “

“Of course I believe you!” Naruto butts in in a heartbeat, his voice high and almost offended, and for the first time tonight Sasuke feels that it is really his best friend standing there in front of him.

“ – but Sai came to me with your message and pretty much told me to stay away. Or he gave me the impression that you didn’t want me there.”

“Why would he say that?”

“I guess he thought that I was hurting you guys. You and Sakura. He didn’t want me anywhere near you two,” Sasuke explains. “But it’s done and dealt with. We’re fine with Sai. Well, not fine, but you don’t have to go to kill him now.”

“So you would have come? If you had known?”

“I – yes.”

Naruto nods, his expression serious, his lips pressed together, and the stiff movement seems out of place on him. He nods for a second time, and this time it’s more for himself, as if Sasuke’s answer took time to sink in. Something changes in Naruto. He relaxes just a little bit and loses the traces of the formal posture he has learned in the Sand and instinctively fell into during their talk.

“So, uh, how’s it going for you then?” Naruto asks awkwardly and scratches the back of his head so that his light, already messy hair gets even worse. It’s a completely innocent, well-meaning question and Naruto is just making an effort to fix whatever there is left to be fixed between them. But Sasuke really doesn’t want to open up about his problems with the Elders, because a few sentences during forced small talk can’t really cover something that would take hours to explain, and the one thing Sasuke would want to tell his best friend he can’t talk about.

So apart from the fact that Sasuke still hasn’t managed to shake the archaistic system of the village, his newfound relationship almost came to an end before it really had the chance to begin, and that the Elders have decided to make his life as miserably as humanly possible, Sasuke’s life has been –

“Fine.”

It’s only when Naruto makes a tiny “ _Oh_ ” sound that Sasuke realises how short and rude his answer is and that while Naruto is trying, Sasuke’s answer wasn’t exactly his best effort to salvage his friendship with Naruto.

“Or, well, I worked with Kakashi when he became Hokage – he would totally have let you steal the job, probably still would – and he helped with my case,” Sasuke rushes to answer. “Which the Council shot down in the end, but I guess you heard about that. And since then I’ve been trying to get this orphanage started. Sakura’s been helping. Or, as it seems, apparently a lot of people have been helping.”

Sasuke almost starts to tell Naruto about the month-long trip around the Land of Fire, but just before he opens his mouth, he catches himself. Officially, Uchiha Sasuke wasn’t accompanying the Hokage but stayed in Konoha, and Naruto doesn’t know about Sasuke’s job in the guard yet. And while Sasuke would like to tell him about that too, this isn’t the most appropriate time to reveal that secret.

“That’s nice,” Naruto says, smiles and all of it is wrong because Naruto isn’t supposed to say “ _That’s nice_ ”, he is supposed to tackle Sasuke in a bear hug and babble his ears off and ask annoying questions about whether Sasuke thinks the orphanage kids are going to be nice and if Naruto can help out with them sometimes and if he can ask his genin team to babysit them too.

“How was the Sand?” Sasuke asks when the silence between them keeps stretching on for too long.

Naruto’s face lights up.

“It was great. I got to spend time with Gaara and Temari and Kankurou, and Gaara taught me so much about the desert and being a Kage, and Temari helped me with my wind jutsus and Gaara took me to a million tours around the village and – ” he stops suddenly, blushes, swallows and there is this expression on his face like he just said something he shouldn’t have. “Uh, so, yeah, it was nice.”

Sasuke expects Naruto to continue their conversation because he can’t think of anything to say. The problem is that Naruto is apparently having similar thoughts. They stand there in an unnatural silence, Naruto staring at his feet and Sasuke studying his hands that he keeps clenching and unclenching.

Finally, Naruto holds up his glass and scratches the back of his head again – a nervous habit.

“You know, I’m gonna go to find another one of these. See ya around and all that.”

He backs away from the balcony and disappears into the crowd of people that have conquered both floors of the house. The music gets louder and clearer for a few seconds when Naruto opens the balcony door to let himself in, but soon the sounds are muffled again and Sasuke is left alone on the balcony.

Somewhere deep inside his naïve child’s heart that has somehow survived through all these years, Sasuke had hoped that Naruto would come back, Sasuke would talk to him and they would be just like they used to be. But of course it won’t go like that and he should have known it.

Sasuke sighs, drums his fingers against the railing and looks at the village. The wall separating the district and the rest of Konoha from each other runs close to the house and from there straight towards Sasuke’s home that is located farther up in the north. He can see the roof of his home if he stands on his toes, and he wonders if he can sleep tonight with all the loud sounds of the party getting carried there all the way from here.

Sasuke squints his eyes at the view, runs a hand through his hair and heads back inside. Sakura will have his head if he just sits in a corner away from everybody and sulks. He should probably go at least thank his old classmates for helping out with the orphanage.

He doesn’t get even to the bottom of the staircase before Sakura appears like from thin air, which this time means that she submerges from the mass of people spread around the house. She strides up to him, dragging an amused Kakashi in tow, and makes Sasuke stop in his tracks. She points a finger a finger at him.

“Sasuke! There you are! You can come to help out Sensei and me!” Sakura beams and though she phrases it like a suggestion, it sounds like an order. She might have found herself a pretty mint green dress and done something to her hair, but as she regards him from the bottom of the stairs with her eyes gleaming, she looks ready to stomp on him with her high heels.

Sasuke swallows the “ _Why?_ ” and “ _With what?_ ” when Kakashi subtly shakes his head behind her in a warning, and opts instead to just nod hesitantly.

 “Come on then,” Sakura says, spins on her feet so that the hem of her dress flares, and marches towards the kitchen. Sasuke jogs down the remaining steps to catch up with her and Kakashi.

“What does she want?” he hisses when he falls in step with Kakashi. Kakashi glances at him with a laidback look on his face.

“Slaves,” he whispers conspiratorially and sidesteps to avoid colliding into a drunk party guest.

Sasuke should have known that he wouldn’t get a straight answer out of Kakashi. He steers past the same guest as the others did, and glares at Kakashi who chuckles, checks where Sakura is and takes longer strides to keep up with her.

When they get to kitchen, Sakura pushes trays with various pastries and drinks stacked on them into their arms.

“You want us to wait on your guests?” Sasuke asks and his quite offended voice rises at the end of the sentence.

Sakura lands a couple of more glasses on his tray in retaliation and causes the drinks to spill, all the other glasses to sway dangerously and Sasuke to shut his mouth and focus on balancing his precious cargo.

“Now, Sasuke, you wouldn’t want to make me sad, would you?” Sakura asks then. An evil glint flashes in her eyes, and just if on cue, Ino walks past the kitchen in the hallway.

Sasuke glares at Sakura but tightens his grip on his tray.

“Okay, fine, but why him too?” he grunts and nods towards Kakashi who is looking quite serene as he easily balances his tray on one hand and studies their confrontation in silence. “Wasn’t he supposed to be an honour guest or something?”

“As my teammates, you three – Naruto is making rounds in the living room already, unlike some other people – are the only ones I can force into doing things without feeling guilty about it. So, sorry Sensei, but you’re old news.”

“Aren’t Sai and Tenzou included then?” Kakashi asks and pushes himself up from leaning his hip against a counter.

“No. Yamato-sensei is too good a person to be forced into doing menial tasks and Sai would probably cause more havoc than good anyway.”

“And Naruto doesn’t?” Sasuke huffs under his breath, quietly enough that Sakura shouldn’t be able to hear him. Beside him, Kakashi snorts at the comment.

Sakura doesn’t appreciate their giggling – she narrows her eyes at them.

“Less talking, more action,” she commands and ushers them into the hallway and towards the living room. “I’ll come after you in a minute, so don’t even think about slacking off,” she tells them, gives a push to them both and disappears back to the kitchen with her heels clicking against the floor. 

Kakashi and Sasuke stare after her a few seconds, waiting for her to change her mind and come back to bother them about something. When it’s apparent that they might have escaped her wrath for the time being, they are slow to do as they were told.

“Have you talked with Naruto yet?” Kakashi asks as they reluctantly make their way towards the other guests. Sasuke hears maybe half of his words over the booming music, and he has to focus to understand the question.

“Yes.”

“And?”

“He doesn’t know how to act around me. I don’t know what to say to him,” Sasuke admits and stops so that they are still standing in the dark hallway, hidden from the others’ eyes. He makes sure nobody’s coming towards them before he lowers his voice and looks Kakashi in the eye. “He said he still loves me.”

Kakashi blinks. It takes him a few seconds too long to answer for him to seem completely nonchalant about it, but he carefully keeps his face devoid of any emotion.

“Well, I guess that was to be expected. How do you feel about that?”

“I don’t know? I don’t want to feel anything because of that. I don’t think I do,” Sasuke answers in a quiet voice. The upbeat music echoing through the building somehow makes their conversation feel even more sombre. He can feel the bass resonating in his chest. “It doesn’t change anything.”

Sasuke more sees than hears the long intake of breath Kakashi takes – Kakashi’s chest rises and he closes his eyes. It occurs to Sasuke that even though he has whined about his situation with Naruto to Kakashi, asked for his support and advice many times, he has never asked Kakashi how he feels about it. Sasuke knows Kakashi believes and trusts him, but he also understands that his past relationship with Naruto is maybe always going to be a sore spot between them. Kakashi gave up on him first because of Naruto, and the moment he backed down, Sasuke ran to Naruto’s arms. If Kakashi is a little insecure now that Naruto and his feelings are back, Sasuke can’t exactly blame him.

“Naruto did say that he wasn’t asking me to try again,” Sasuke adds and massages his neck while balancing his tray on the other hand. He glances in the direction of the living room again. “I got the impression that there was also someone else involved in all this. He kept going on about Gaara for ages. I don’t know.”

“It would probably be the simplest solution if he got together with him,” Kakashi sighs.

After having made the decision to stay together despite the Elders’ wishes just this morning, this came a little bit too soon. Sasuke studies Kakashi’s tired, shut-off expression and doesn’t like what he sees. If Kakashi gets some funny ideas about backing down again because of Naruto and the Elders – because being with Naruto would be so much safer for Sasuke – Sasuke will wring his neck here and now. Kakashi needs to learn to be selfish sometimes.

“Hey, this changes nothing between us, got it?” Sasuke states and almost glares at Kakashi. He knows him too well to let this go unaddressed.

“Got it,” Kakashi parrots and rolls his eyes. He looks relieved all the same. “But we should probably start moving before Sakura comes to murder us.”

When they finally get into the living room, most of the guests have sat down and somebody has gone to lower the volume of the music. There are people sitting on the couches, on the chairs, on the floor, and it’s apparent that now they are more interested in gossiping than dancing. Naruto, doomed to the same task as Kakashi and Sasuke, is mingling around the room with his already half-empty tray. He stops to chat with almost everyone – right now he is joking with Lee – and smiling from ear to ear. Behind him, Tsunade is waving her glass and ranting at anyone who is unfortunate enough to get too close.

Sasuke gives up and surrenders to his fate. After a quick shrug at Kakashi, Sasuke heads to the opposite side of the room from him and starts his rounds. 

He gets past Iruka, Hinata and Neji just fine, then the very dignified, slightly tipsy Fifth Hokage notices him and jumps right into her favourite hobby of bothering Sasuke.

“Hey, brat! Come here with those drinks, I need a new one!” Tsunade calls and impressively manages to keep most of her drunkenness out of her voice.

Sasuke complies because that feels like a safer option than ignoring her. He walks up to her and rises a wary eyebrow.

Tsunade doesn’t bother with any unnecessary pleasantries – she snatches a glass from his tray, glances around to make Shizune doesn’t see what she is about to do, and downs the glass in one go.

“Good kid. Now, go get that Hokage of yours here, I need to speak with him,” Tsunade says a bit too loudly and grins at Sasuke.

Sasuke rolls his eyes. Of course he ends up being the errand boy. He dumps his tray into Tsunade’s waiting arms and dances through the groups of people to where he last saw Kakashi. He finds him talking with Sakura in the centre of the room.

“Tsunade wanted to talk to you,” Sasuke says as he reaches them.

“Oh, she just wants to inform me of everything I’m doing wrong as the Hokage,” Kakashi sighs and unceremoniously plants his half-empty tray in Sasuke’s arms. Before Sasuke can get his mouth open to complain about the unfairness of all this, Kakashi wanders off and leaves him with Sakura and the tray.

“Asshole,” Sasuke mutters under his breath and turns towards his teammate. But instead of Sakura, he comes face to face with Sai.

“Hello, traitor,” Sai smiles in that empty way of his, with the corners of his lips curved upwards but his dark eyes empty.

Behind him, Sakura has found Naruto. There are excited expressions on both of their faces as they gossip about something, standing close together. Naruto is waving his hands, he spreads them as far from each other as he can, and Sasuke catches him saying something along the lines of “ – at least _this_ big and – “. Sakura is listening to him intently with a grin on her face, and at least for now the party and Sasuke seem to be the farthest thing from her mind.

“Got yourself stuck with the kitchen duty, I see,” Sai notes and forces Sasuke to turn his attention back to him.

“Sakura asked me to,” is Sasuke’s short answer. He isn’t excited about having a conversation with Sai – his plan is to quickly excuse himself and go discard the damn tray somewhere.

Naruto bursts out laughing with Sakura. Now he sounds like himself, his laughter is carefree and almost uncontrollable. But he hasn’t even glanced towards Sasuke yet, which is a remarkable achievement, knowing him. So, he isn’t exactly running away from Sasuke, as he is standing only a few feet away, but he isn’t reaching out for him either.

When Sasuke steals a look at Kakashi on the other side of the room, Kakashi is studying Naruto too. He is talking with Tsunade, yes, but his focus is on Naruto.

That’s not good.

“She’s scary sometimes, isn’t she?”

Sasuke, who lost himself into thinking about the fact Kakashi and Naruto are in the same small space right after Naruto told Sasuke that he still loves him and Kakashi got to know about it, totally forgot that he was supposed to be avoiding talking to Sai.

“Who?”

“Sakura.”

Sasuke expects Sai to continue with some kind of a nasty remark but when that doesn’t come, Sasuke has to answer after an awkward pause.

“She is.”

As if summoned, Sakura leaves Naruto with Lee and comes to steal a drink from the tray Sasuke is carrying. She sips from her glass and throws a suspicious look at the two of them.

“What are you guys talking about?” Sakura asks, clearly not trusting them to act civil around each other when the last time she had to stop them from beating each other black and blue.

“Traitor thinks you’re scary,” Sai answers happily like a little kid.

“And he damn well should,” Sakura concurs and takes another sip of her drink. She turns to address Sasuke. “Have you had time to talk with Naruto yet?”

Why does everyone keep asking him that?

“Yes.”

Her face lights up.

“That’s good! It’s really the time for Team 7 to be a team again – “

“Actually – “

“Ooh, guys, what are you talking about? I wanna know too,” comes in Naruto’s voice, and then he is there too, one arm wrapped around Sakura’s shoulders and a wide grin on his whiskered face.

Sasuke, surprised and a little bit terrified, steals a look at him, but Naruto keeps his focus adamantly on Sai and Sakura.

“Well,” Sakura begins, “we were just thinking about how we can be a team again since you and Sasuke got your issues settled and – “

“That’s really not what I said – “ Sasuke tries to butt in, but curiously enough, it’s Sai who interrupts him and ruins everything.

“But Naruto, isn’t it awkward for you to be even in the same room with traitor? Since he broke your heart. And especially now that he has moved on so quickly.”

Naruto pales and clamps his mouth shut, his eyes laid low and his shoulders up. Sakura stands there with her mouth open. Sasuke half-expects Ino materialise from thin air to come hear the gossip. Everyone else in the room seems to notice the change in the mood as well – all the other conversations die out and everybody turns to stare at them. From the corner of his eye, Sasuke sees Kakashi straighten his back and take a few steps towards their direction.

“What do you mean _moved on_?” Sakura asks quietly – it’s like the question escapes her lips without her even meaning to ask that.

But instead of answering to her, Sai directs his next words to Sasuke.

“I imagine it must be even more awkward for you, having both your old and new lover in the same room at the same time – “

“ _Sai, a moment_ ,” Sasuke says, his voice like ice, and he isn’t sure whether his sharingan makes an appearance or not. He doesn’t care. He is ready to physically drag Sai out of the room if he has to. He pushes his tray into Sakura’s arms and never takes his eyes off Sai.

Surprisingly, Sai shuts up and obediently marches out of the room with Sasuke following right behind him.

When they get to the back of the house where Sasuke was hiding earlier this evening, away from the other’s eyes and ears, Sasuke lets his anger loose.

“What the hell was that?” he hisses, and this time he is certain his sharingan is glowing in his eyes. “Who the fuck you think you are, blurting out things like that?”

“I just stated the obvious. Anyone can see that there is something going on between you and Kakashi-san, and well, Naruto wasn’t even looking at you – “

“It’s not your place to tell anyone anything about me,” Sasuke growls and sneers at Sai. But then he takes a deep breath, closes his eyes for a second, and starts again with a level voice, because there are more important things at stake here. “Did you consider at all how your remarks would make Naruto feel?”

The awful thing is that Sai clearly didn’t. It takes him a few seconds to process Sasuke’s words, then his expressionless mask crumbles as he realises what he just did. Sai’s eyes widen and his mouth opens, but no sounds comes out. Somehow, it’s worse this way – Sasuke has heard that Sai has a hard time trying to understand others, and now he sees it for himself. Sai didn’t mean to hurt Naruto – about himself Sasuke isn’t as certain – he just said what was on his mind.

The fact that Sasuke almost pities him doesn’t mean that their conversation is over.

“And you will shut up about Kakashi and me. You don’t know anything about it,” Sasuke says. He needs Sai to stop spreading rumours about them – he won’t have the Elders find about their relationship because Sai couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “And if anyone asks what you were talking about when you go back there, you’ll say it was a misunderstanding.”

As shaken Sai is, he still has the energy to be annoying.

“Why would I do that?” he says, raises a brow and crosses his arms over his chest.

Now Sasuke gets angry.

“What – “

“ _Sai_ ,” a deep voice interrupts them and forces Sasuke to stop his justified rant.

They both turn around to see Kakashi walking up to them with a firm expression on his face. He comes to stand next to Sasuke, but he keeps his gaze solely focused on Sai.

“You should really go to apologize to Naruto. And I would really appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone what you know about Sasuke and me. It’s really not any of your business in the first place. And it would really hurt us if a word got out about our relationship, especially now that I’m the Hokage. Surely you understand.”

Kakashi says all of this in a light, casual tone, but his eyes are sharp and the mention about his authority as the Hokage is deliberate. If Sasuke wasn’t so annoyed at him for saving his ass yet again, especially when already had the situation under control, he would almost find Kakashi frightening.

“No, sir. Yes, sir. Sorry, sir,” Sai answers, stumbling on his words, pales and ends up somewhere between standing at attention, and fidgeting with his hands and looking nowhere near Kakashi.

“Good,” Kakashi adds in that fake cheery tone of his and waves his hand to dismiss Sai when he doesn’t think of leaving himself. “Off you go then.”

Sai leaves with hurried steps. He throws a few quick, slightly panicking glances at them over his shoulder as he goes, hopefully to apologise to Naruto.

It’s not that often that Sasuke has seen him this obedient.

Sasuke waits until Sai disappears from the view before he deigns to have anything to do with Kakashi.

“You didn’t have to do that. I could have handled him on my own,” he snaps and lets his anger to be heard in his voice. He had the situation under control, and still Kakashi dared to come and walk all over him like that.

Kakashi glances down at him and Sasuke realises only now that he is not the man himself but a clone.

“He nearly exposed us. He would have put you in danger.”

“So you think that me asking him to shut his mouth wasn’t enough? Is that what it is?”

“He was clearly going to fight you about it. It was faster this way. I was trying to protect you.”

“Didn’t I just earlier today say that I don’t need protecting? All you did is made me look weak in front of Sai – he already accused me of hiding behind everyone, especially you. How is you coming to my rescue going to make him think otherwise?” Sasuke says. His voice quiet and level, almost too quiet for Kakashi to hear, but his words are sharp and full of anger. “And what do you think everyone is going to assume now that you came after me right after what Sai said?”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Kakashi snaps back, and it’s the first time during their time together that he really seems honestly irritated with Sasuke. “I’ve been a shinobi since I was five, which means that I’ve been doing this longer than you’ve been alive. If I want nobody to see me coming after you, nobody sees me. Why do think I’m a clone and not the original?”

He continues before Sasuke can say anything.

“And I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable, but getting Sai to shut up was much more important than your feelings at the moment. It’s been literally only hours since we had the talk about how it’s your life on the line here. Would you please think of that for a minute?”

Sasuke looks away from him. His head aches. This is not what he wanted.

“Sorry,” he mumbles under his breath and bites his lip to keep his annoyance at bay. Even if Kakashi had reasons for doing what he did, Sasuke still gets to be displeased with him. But he doesn’t want to fight either.

Kakashi looks tense as well and his voice hasn’t quite lost its edge yet.

“I didn’t mean to make you look bad in front of Sai. I’m just worried for you.”

“You always are,” Sasuke sighs and shakes his head. “I think I have had enough of this for the day. I’ll say something to Sakura and then go home.”

Kakashi’s shoulders drop, it’s like he deflates, and his expression goes from aloof to just tired.

“Do you think you can manage with these guys making all this racket here? You can come over if the noise gets unbearable,” he says and rubs his brow. Sasuke isn’t sure whether he offers that just to be polite.

“We might bite each other’s heads off if I come,” Sasuke huffs. “I’ll manage somehow.”

“If you’re sure,” Kakashi says and sounding defeated and exhausted. He raises his hand as if to touch Sasuke’s shoulder. But before his fingers brush against Sasuke’s shirt, Sasuke stops him.

“Don’t,” Sasuke breathes out and takes a step back. He is still too on edge for that, he is still too pissed at Kakashi to stand the touch now, and he really doesn’t want to know what he’ll say if he has to be here for much longer.

Kakashi retreats his hand, casually changes the movement into tucking his hands into his pockets like it was his intention all along, but Sasuke doesn’t miss the flash of pain in his eyes. Now he feels even worse.

Sasuke doesn’t know what else to say, so he backs out and walks away. He wishes he could turn back time and go back to this morning, to the few hours they had when they weren’t either fighting or not talking to each other.

But he is also angry because Kakashi was protecting him again when Sasuke didn’t need his help, and Kakashi trying to protect him has never ended well. Sasuke doesn’t need anyone to protect him – he has had to survive on his own this long, he can do so in the future. It makes him feel weak, just like it just did with Sai, and that feeling of not being enough just releases a decade worth of painful memories of his brother, father and all the years of trying to get stronger and never being good enough.

There is too much on his plate now with the Elders breathing down on his neck and their relationship wavering. Sai not keeping his mouth shut was the final nail in the coffin.

The party is back in full swing when Sasuke comes back. Kiba and Lee have abducted Naruto, and there is no trace of sorrow on his face as he laughs with his friends. Kakashi still is speaking with Tsunade on the other side of the room – he glances at Sasuke when Sasuke walks in, he has no idea how things went with the clone – but Sasuke doesn’t meet his gaze.

Sakura catches him before he gets to the front door. As she comes to stand next to him, she is almost as tall as him in her high heels.

“Are you alright?” she asks in a quiet voice. She has wrapped her arms around herself like she was hugging herself.

“I’ve been better.”

“I’m sorry, I never thought that Sai would say something like that. I don’t think he meant it to be as cruel as – “

“I don’t either. He didn’t think, that’s all. How’s Naruto?”

“Getting over it. He’s tough when it comes to things like these, he has probably forgiven Sai already,” she says and gives him a small smile. “I didn’t mean to cause this either. I honestly thought that you had it figured out with Naruto. Well, hoped so. Here I go, assuming things again.”

“It’s not your fault,” Sasuke says bluntly and heads towards the front door. As well-meaning as she is, he isn’t just in the mood right now.

He is already at the door when she calls after him again.

“Sasuke?”

“Hm?”

“If you don’t mind me asking, what did Sai mean when he said you had moved on? That your new lover was in the same room with Naruto? Are you with someone?”

Sasuke knew that this was coming. He hates it that he has to lie to her. But the less people know about them, the safer it is. And neither Naruto or Sakura would know how to act natural around them if they knew, and that would give them out immediately.

He tells himself it’s for the best.

“No. It was a misunderstanding. There is no one.”

“Ah, okay,” Sakura answers and wraps her arms tighter around herself and turns to go back to the party. “See you later then.”

Sasuke steps out into the night alone and closes the door behind him. The music blares even outside of the house and echoes in the district.

So much for sleeping tonight then.


	31. Downpour - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, it's been a while! To make up for the late update, and to celebrate the upcoming holidays and the fact that on the 24th it will be a year since I started posting this fic, you guys get basically two chapters. This chapter became so huge that I split it into two slightly shorter chapters.
> 
> I really want to thank you for all the comments and kudos, they keep me going! :D

_The 2nd of July, the fifth year of peace_ _  
Konoha, the Land of Fire_

The ANBU headquarters is quiet at such an early hour of the morning. The front door of the building clangs harshly shut after Sasuke, but there is no one around to hear it. The loud sound echoes in the empty lobby, accompanied only by Sasuke’s footsteps as he walks across the stone floor.

It’s only a little past five in the morning, the sun has barely risen, and Sasuke is early for his shift. He woke up an hour ago – jerked awake in a cold sweat from a dream he couldn’t remember afterwards – and when he couldn’t fall back asleep even though the restless, mostly sleepless night had left his eyelids heavy, Sasuke decided that he might as well get up and go to work.

The official change of shift isn’t near yet, and the headquarters is working with minimal staff. That’s why the building is now close to empty and clinically quiet. Sasuke isn’t expected here in yet another hour, but there is always some paperwork to be taken care of. And if he starts to feel particularly restless, he can go relieve one of his team members from their duty. They surely won’t mind getting home a little earlier than usual.

Sasuke greets the attendant that emerges from the restrooms. She is surprised to see him there so early, but she smiles anyway as she walks to her tiny office in the lobby where she keeps an eye on everyone going in and out. She is a familiar face, but Sasuke doesn’t stop to chat. He makes his way downstairs to the basement floor where the changing rooms are. His armour and mask are stored there, just like everyone else’s, to keep their identities as ANBU secret. The key to his locker sways on a string Sasuke has tangled around his fingers. The metal is warm, he has played with the key the whole way here, and it has pressed imprints into his palm.

These early mornings aren’t good for him or his headache. Sasuke rubs his brow and mutters curses under his breath as he walks through corridors he knows by heart now. The lights in the hallways are of a particularly cold, yellowish shade, and it makes the white-coloured walls look sickly. Sasuke scrunches up his nose at the stench of sweat that comes from the training rooms and gyms located in this floor, and presses onward.

As he guessed last night, the party went on for hours, and the booming sounds and the abhorrent noise his old classmates were making got carried all the way to his home. Shutting his windows and escaping to the other end of the house with his pillow and blanket had done nothing to silence the racket – the deep thumping of the bass of the music invaded his house even from half a mile away and resonated through the building, keeping him awake all night.

Taking the morning shift right after an evening of partying might not be his wisest decision, but to Sasuke’s defence, he didn’t exactly party in the true meaning of the word, and he left long before the small hours. As far as he is concerned, this isn’t his fault.

But the everyday life in the Hidden Village of the Leaf waits for nobody, and that means that today, Sasuke is once again tasked with the usual watch shifts of his team, patrolling around the village and making sure that both the Hokage and the people of Konoha are safe.

Sasuke massages his neck, sighs, pushes a door open to get into another hallway and stuff his hands into his pockets. He forces down a yawn and blinks furiously to keep his eyes open. He is not a morning person.

The routine patrol will also give him some time to wallow in his misery. Nothing really happens during the hours he has to spend guarding the village from non-existent enemies, and nobody will notice if he wastes a few minutes of his shift staring at nothing and thinking about his own worries. Naruto is one, Sai and his uncontrollable mouth another, the Elders have reserved a permanent spot on his long list of problems, and to add to it all, he is now apparently arguing with Kakashi too.

The first two Sasuke is in no hurry to confront, but he hopes that sometime today he might have time to talk with Kakashi. Sasuke still doesn’t appreciate the stunt Kakashi pulled on him last night, but after having the night to calm down and think, Sasuke can’t say that Kakashi stepping in wasn’t completely without reason. And while Sasuke might want to have another talk about it, the last thing they need is to fight over something as irrelevant as this when they have the Elders breathing down on their necks. Sasuke just wants his life to be quiet and calm again – he wants to mind only his own business and spend his days in peace and quiet with his lover and their mountain of books and pack of dogs, nothing more.

Speak of the devil – after another set of turns, Sasuke walks right in on the man himself. He slows down his steps when he spots Kakashi talking with an ANBU in front of the very locker room Sasuke is heading towards.

Kakashi is in the dark uniform of the Hokage, his arms are folded over his chest, and his expression is a stern one as he listens to what is clearly the ANBU’s mission report. Sasuke squints his eyes at the sight – even during those mornings when Kakashi deigns to come to work on time, he doesn’t turn up quite this early unless there is a crisis of some sort going on. Considering how worn and dirty the ANBU’s uniform is and how deep the frown on Kakashi’s face is, something must have happened.

Kakashi and the ANBU aren’t that lost in their conversation that they won’t notice Sasuke. They give him wary looks as he approaches. The ANBU, who is one of the ninjas Sasuke has met at the headquarters many times, has her hand on her weapon in an instant, but she is quick to turn back to Kakashi when she realises Sasuke is not a threat.

Kakashi, on the other hand, is cautious for other reasons. He nods at Sasuke when their eyes meet, but the movement so quick and small that Sasuke would barely have noticed it if he hadn’t been paying attention. Then Kakashi addresses the ANBU again – a clear indication that whatever is going on between Sasuke and him has to wait. Kakashi’s voice is quiet and low so that Sasuke can’t make out what he is saying when he questions the ANBU, but Sasuke can read the crinkle of his brow and the tight set of his shoulders from afar.

Sasuke turns his back to them and marches into the locker room. If whatever they are talking about affects the village, Sasuke as the leader of the Hokage’s guard will hear about it sooner or later. And if it doesn’t, it’s not worth of his time.

As the door shuts behind Sasuke, it silences Kakashi and the ANBU’s conversion – Kakashi is cut off mid-sentence – and the only noises in the changing room are the sounds of the old pipes hissing and rattling inside the walls. Sasuke’s locker is in the back of the room, and just like everything else in here, it is old and worn, and Sasuke has to give it a good kick to get the jammed door open.

Sasuke pulls his shirt over his head to get changed and runs a hand through his now messy hair. It has got long, long enough to reach his shoulders, and he rummages through his locker for a band to tie it back with.

He is shoulders-deep in the locker when the door of the room opens with a screech. Sasuke grimaces in the cover of the locker, grabs the tie he was looking for from under a pile of shurikens and pulls back to see Kakashi walking towards him.

Sasuke doesn’t acknowledge him – he focuses on tying his hair back, his elbows up, his chin pressed to his chest. The cool air in the locker room makes shivers run up his bare back. Kakashi leans against the locker next to Sasuke’s. His hands are crossed over his chest and there is a neutral, nonreadable expression on his face.

Sasuke tugs his small ponytail to make sure it’s tight and finally addresses Kakashi.

“Is something wrong? You don’t usually come to the headquarters,” he says without looking at him and reaches for the underclothes of his armour. “Especially at this hour.”

“You’re not supposed to be here yet either,” Kakashi answers. His voice doesn’t give out anything, his words sound like a statement, but there is something in his stance that makes Sasuke think Kakashi is more annoyed than he lets out.

Sasuke looks at him. He doesn’t glare, he doesn’t raise his brow – he just looks at Kakashi and waits because he is well beyond playing any games. He shouldn’t have to with Kakashi anymore.

Kakashi meets his gaze, but only seconds later he looks away and covers his eyes with his hand.

“Yes. Something has happened,” he sighs in a tired voice. He leans more heavily on the locker and takes so long to continue that Sasuke would like to urge him to say at least something because Kakashi can’t just tell Sasuke that and then stop talking altogether.

“That ANBU. She is part of the group of ANBUs that I – and Tsunade before me – had looking for Danzou. She has found something.”

“What?” Sasuke jumps to say before Kakashi is even finished with his last sentence. His heart speeds up. This is it. Danzou. This is something he can do – someone he can go after without having to put up with the Elders or tiptoe around his teammates. This is something concrete he can do. He can go after the man responsible for the murder of his clan, the reason his brother couldn’t have the life he would have deserved.

Kakashi gives him a wary look.

“She sensed chakra signatures a few days of travel from here. She is certain that one of them belonged to Danzou.”

“I’m going after him,” Sasuke states, almost hisses, and pulls on the undershirt of his armour so fast he almost gets it tangled up. “Where is he?” He has removed his trousers and is tugging on the ones for his uniform by the time Kakashi gets to answering.

”Sasuke – ” Kakashi begins, his voice exasperated and worried and commanding at the same time, and the look he gives Sasuke is at least as troubled.

”What?” Sasuke snaps and yanks his gloves on.

”You shouldn’t go.”

”Why?” Sasuke grabs his armour and starts to strap it on. Even though he asked why, he has no interest in hearing the answer – there is nothing Kakashi can say to keep him from going.

”It’s dangerous. We don’t know what’s going on in there. Danzou could be there, or then he is nowhere near the place. This could be a trap to lure you out. It is most probably that,” Kakashi says. His fingers twitch as if he was thinking about reaching out a hand to touch Sasuke’s shoulder. But he doesn’t do that, because Sasuke told him yesterday not to. ”I’m sending a team to investigate, not to attack. This is not the time for recklessness – ”

Sasuke stops pulling on his shoes to stare at Kakashi.

”Are you saying that I can’t handle this? That I would be a risk to the mission?” Sasuke hisses because that is the only conclusion he comes to. “Is that what this is?”

Kakashi doesn’t say anything and that answer is enough for Sasuke.

“ _Where is Danzou?_ ”

“I’m not telling you when you’re like this.”

“When I’m like what?”

“You’ll run straight out of that door if I tell where the ANBU thought Danzou was, and we both know it. You would just storm there, blinded by your need to get revenge – you have done that before, don’t get me started – and get yourself killed.”

“That man is the reason I have no clan. He is the reason I don’t have a brother anymore. Or my father. My _mother_ is dead because of him. And now you’re saying that you won’t tell me where he is!” Sasuke seethes. “You’re supposed to be the one who is always on my side, who has my back no matter what! How can you not tell me this? _Where. Is. Danzou?_ ”

“Do you realise that you’re just proving my point? There are things that you can’t think objectively about, and Danzou is one of them. I’ll send a group of people who aren’t emotionally involved in this case to capture Danzou. I want him interrogated – ”

A sudden, gut-wrenching realisation hits Sasuke.

“You weren’t going to tell me,” he blurts out and stares emptily at Kakashi. “That’s why you didn’t want me here now. You didn’t want me to see that ANBU. You didn’t want to me know about this until you had Danzou inside the village walls and away from me so I can no longer touch him and have my revenge.”

Kakashi gives him a disappointed look.

“I was going to tell you, of course I was. It was always my plan that if the first team finds something, you’ll go with the reinforcements when we know what we’re facing – “

“Don’t lie to me. You didn’t want me to know until it was too late for me to go after Danzou, because you’re trying to protect me! Didn’t I tell you to stop doing that?” It’s been a while since Sasuke has raised his voice against Kakashi. He slams the locker door shut and swirls around to face him. ”I don’t need you to do it! I don’t want you to do it! And even after I told you not to, you still did it. Again. How fucking dare you – no. No, I’m not even going to go there. I’m not going to deal with you right now.”

Sasuke grabs his key from the locker door.

“I’m going after Danzou and you can’t stop me.”

While Sasuke goes for the shouting and slamming doors, Kakashi does the opposite. His face goes blank, and his voice is deep but yet so quiet it’s hard to hear him.

”Has it ever occurred to you that I do that because I care about you?” he asks, his eyes focused on Sasuke, and he sounds almost offended. He speaks slowly, choosing his words carefully, and doing so he forces Sasuke to pay attention to what he is saying. “I want you to be happy and safe. That is all I want. I’m not trying to do anything behind your back. It’s just that if I can’t bring your family back, the least I can do is to make sure that you don’t get yourself killed in a mindless attempt of avenging them.”

Kakashi looks Sasuke right in the eye.

“Sasuke. Killing Danzou won’t bring your family back.”

Sasuke turns away from him. He walks to the weapon cabinet on the other side of the room and opens the doors to get the rest of his gear.

Kakashi follows after him.

“I have lost too many people I care about to let you go on a mission that we both know would put you at such a high risk. Don’t make me sit and wait here for someone to come to tell me that I will have to bury you.”

Kakashi sounds exhausted and desperate, and Sasuke knows him well enough to realise that he is pleading. That is not going to make him change his mind.

”It’s not your choice to make. If I die, then I die,” Sasuke says and sheathes his sword. “Don’t care about me if it such a bother to you.”

”I’m supposed to care about you!” Kakashi growls and finally loses the mask of calmness he had. His raised voice shakes with anger, his eyes are blazing and the steps he takes towards Sasuke are threatening. “That is literally the one thing I’m supposed to do!”

“Stop then! Because I certainly don’t need you to, I don’t fucking want you to!”

“You can’t say that!”

”I don’t give a fuck about what you think! All that matters is Danzou, and if you try to stop me from going after him, I don’t fucking want you in my life. So get the fuck out and stop bothering me!”

Kakashi just freezes. He stops mid-step and stares at Sasuke with his eyes wide, holding his breath. For a heartbeat all the pain and hurt is clear in his eyes – and then it’s gone. Kakashi collects himself and shuts off all his emotions. His pale face becomes blank, his eyes empty and Sasuke can’t read him at all. When Kakashi speaks next, his voice is quiet and cold and dangerous.

”If that’s the case, what’s the point of being together at all? If I have no business in being in your life, shouldn’t we just put a stop to this?”

”You know what, that’s just fine with me,” Sasuke growls. “At least then there will be nobody trying to stop me from going after the man that killed my family!”

Sasuke grabs his mask and storms past Kakashi. His shoulder bumps into Kakashi’s side, hard enough to hurt, and Sasuke might have done that on purpose.

He gets to the door before Kakashi calls after him. He has his back to Sasuke when he speaks in a cold voice Sasuke barely recognises.

”As your Hokage I could stop you. You haven’t been assigned on that mission, and I won’t have my ninjas acting against my orders. Leaving without permission would make you a missing-nin.”

Now it’s Sasuke’s turn to freeze in place and stop. He lowers the hand that was holding the mask to his face and turns painfully slowly to stare at Kakashi.

“Don’t. Don’t ever do that. Don’t ever use your authority as the Hokage against me,” Sasuke says. “I’m not just your subordinate that you can order around, I’m your – ” he cuts the sentence short and narrows his eyes at Kakashi. “You can’t pull rank on me and expect us to be alright after that.”

“I thought that you didn’t want to be with me anymore.”

“ _Don’t fucking start that with me_ ,” Sasuke growls and marches over to Kakashi, so close that he is right in Kakashi’s personal space with their chests touching, and he can gnarl right into his face. It aggravates him beyond reason that Kakashi is tall enough to look down at him with a completely unimpressed expression. “I didn’t expect this from you. I fucking didn’t. I have enough with the Elders telling me how to live my life, I didn’t need you to do it as well. And I don’t care what the fuck you’re ordering me to do, I will go after Danzou. If I have to break out from your prison first, then that’s fine with me.”

Kakashi doesn’t say anything, he just looks down at Sasuke in silence and knows full well that it drives Sasuke insane.

Sasuke gives a shove to Kakashi’s chest, a violent one that forces Kakashi to take a step back, and Sasuke follows right after him, getting even closer.

”What the fuck is your problem? Is this some kind of an overly manly attempt of showing your dominance over me? Just like yesterday?” he shouts. He can’t believe that just yesterday he was concerned with how Kakashi felt about them being together, about the Elders, about Naruto – 

Sasuke’s eyes widen.

“ _Oh, now_ I get it – does Naruto’s return really make you this nervous? You’re scared that I’ll go back to him, aren’t you? So you thought that the solution to that would be to control me? What a damn good idea that was, eh?”

Kakashi looks at him like he has grown a second head.

”I’m not even going to answer that,” he says and sounds honestly offended. “I don’t know where you got that idea, that is – I’m not nervous about Naruto, for fuck’s sake. I trust you, I thought we were fine about Naruto being back. If someone’s nervous about his return, it’s you.”

“I’m not nervous about him!”

“You’re the one who brought him up,” Kakashi says and doesn’t back down even when Sasuke gets right into his face. ”But if you are so obsessed with him, maybe you should be with him instead – ”

” _Well, maybe I should!”_

Sasuke’s shouted words echo in the otherwise silent room. They stare at each other, Sasuke with his chest heaving, his hands in tight fists at his sides. Kakashi’s eyes have turned cold and distant. The last time Kakashi gave him such an indifferent look was when Sasuke was still in prison and Kakashi came to seal his chakra. That time the expression was fake. Now it’s not.

”Fine. Go after Danzou. What you do with your life is none of my business. But you will take the team with you – I might as well have someone competent there – ”

”I don’t need them – ”

”You _will_ take them with you, that’s an order. I won’t debate about my orders with my subordinates,” Kakashi says. Gone is all the gentleness Sasuke has come to expect from him, gone is the familiarity and trust between them – it’s only the Sixth Hokage, the cold-blooded strategist and the deadliest ninjas of the Land of Fire that stares down at him with no emotion in his eyes. His sharingan is spinning furiously. “I want you and the team in my office in half an hour. All of you. I won’t tolerate any idiotic attempts of leaving them behind.”

“Fine,” Sasuke hisses through gritted teeth.

And with that Kakashi walks away without even looking at Sasuke.

Sasuke grabs a kunai from his pocket and flings it into air with all the blinding anger he has. The kunai flies across the room and stops when it hits a wall. It digs deep into the concrete and gets stuck there with only the hilt visible.

Sasuke growls and kicks one of the benches in the room to crash on the floor. The sound it makes is horrendous and hurts Sasuke’s ears. He lets out a long list of the worst swear words he can remember, his voice raising with each word, and doesn’t stop until the curses merge together into an ugly, incomprehensible roar.

_How fucking dare he?_

A second kunai joins the first one on the wall. Then another, and another and another until his aim is totally off and he hits the weapon cabinet. A splinter of the wood from the cabinet ricochets into the air and slashes Sasuke’s cheek.

Warm blood trickles down his cheek. Sasuke slams a hand on the wound. The stinging pain runs all over his face, but his curse is lost under his sharp intake of breath. He lets himself fall on his knees on the floor and bow his head. Blood drips past his fingers on the floor.

Sasuke has emptied his pockets, all his weapons are thrown across the room, and his throat is raw from screaming. The air around him crackles with electricity, sparkles of his chakra dance in the air like fireflies and his hair at his neck stands up. He is so angry that his head aches and his stomach hurts, and he almost feels like throwing up. He doesn’t remember at what point of their fight he activated his sharingan, but he hasn’t come up with a good reason to turn it off so far.

He can’t believe that Kakashi had the nerve to think that he could order Sasuke around. That he would try to stop Sasuke from going like he had any right to do so, that he would make the situation with Naruto be Sasuke’s fault –

Sasuke growls again and tosses the Robin mask he was holding on the floor as hard as he can, half-hoping that it would break into pieces so he wouldn’t have to look at it ever again. No such luck, the sorry thing just slides under a bench on the other side of the room. Sasuke stares after it with his chest heaving and his breath wheezing in his throat.

He closes his eyes.

None of this matters, Sasuke tells himself as he forces himself to calm down. He counts to ten, counts to twenty, counts to twenty-five before he allows himself to get up, walk across the room and kneel next to the bench to get his mask. None of this matters because he is going after Danzou.

Sasuke bandages his cheek and washes his hands. He cleans the blood from the floor and pulls the kunais from the walls. Some of them need sharpening after his tantrum, some of them are completely ruined. The wall has holes now. He will deal with them later, and he’ll replace the spare kunais he borrows from the weapon cabinet too.

Sasuke glances at the clock on the wall – it’s always five minutes late – and narrows his eyes at it. It has taken him longer to get over his anger than he thought. He wasted good fifteen minutes here, and he still has to get his team and make it to the Tower in time. As furious as Kakashi is with him right now, he might just stop him from going if Sasuke is late to the briefing, and that is a pleasure Sasuke won’t give him.

Sasuke claps his hand together in the signs of the clone jutsu and sends his clones to get his team. All of them should be up by now, though he feels slightly bad for those who had night shift today. But Sasuke can’t afford to be soft now when Danzou is literally hours away. He is still seething with rage when he tucks his mask on, and he has to blink his sharingan away several times.

There is nobody to see him rush through the corridors of the headquarters, but once he gets to the main floor of the building, someone calls after him.

“Uchiha-san! Please wait!”

Sasuke barely glances at the clerk running towards him, and he certainly doesn’t slow down. He is way too pissed off to deal with whatever the guy wants.

The small group of chuunins-turned-office workers located in the upper floors of the headquarters bother the ANBUs from time to time by losing their personal information or medical records or service history in their sea of paperwork, and that is usually the reason why they come downstairs to hunt for the poor shinobis. It’s seems that it’s Sasuke’s turn today to be the unlucky one.

Annoyingly, the clerk won’t take the hint and give up even when Sasuke speeds up. The clerk’s breath is wheezing by the time he catches up to Sasuke.

“ – we’ve been trying to contact you for weeks, it’s so good that I found you now. I don’t know if you received our letters, there was some mishap with the bookkeeping and it didn’t come to our knowledge that you were away with the Hokage. Silly that, really. But what I wanted to tell you is that the results of your medical tests arrived last month and it’s crucial that you – “

“I don’t have the time right now, I’m sorry,” Sasuke states, cutting the clerk off, and takes longer strides to lose him. “ _The Hokage_ wants to speak with me.”

“But this is very important! You have to come immediately…” the clerk whines, stops, leans his hands on his knees and grasps for breath. “Uchiha-san!”

The front door of the headquarters slams loudly shut after Sasuke.

The village is only waking up when Sasuke leaps over the rooftops towards the Hokage Tower. The sun is still climbing up in the sky and just a handful of villagers have made it out to the streets. Birds are chirping in the trees, and their happy songs get carried by the summer winds over the village. But Sasuke has no time for any of that.

He is the first one of his team to get to the Tower. There are no signs of the others, and the secretary seated in the outer office of the Hokage’s office eyes Sasuke warily when he can’t stand still as he waits. He fidgets with his hands, sits down on a chair only to jump up ten seconds later, and walks in circles around the room. Sasuke glances at the clock for the millionth time and shifts his weight from one foot to another. Where are they?

Sasuke and his team should be on their way already, they should be hunting down Danzou and not waiting for some stupid permission to leave. Sasuke could be out of the village gates already by now. What guarantee does he have that Danzou will still be there when he gets there if he has to waste time now? The fight with Kakashi ate enough of his time already, this feels just ridiculous.

Another glance at the clock. Sasuke has had enough. The secretary shouts something after him when he strides to the doors of the Hokage’s office and pushes them open, but Sasuke pays no mind to what the chuunin is saying. He should wait outside for his team to arrive and get in only when he is told to enter, but he isn’t in a patient mood right now. There is a chance that he might get a glimpse of a map or a mission report if he marches in now, and if that happens, then there is no stopping him – team or no team, he is going.

In the office, Kakashi is sitting at his desk, hunched over his work. He rubs his brow with one hand, his narrowed eyes are focused on a file he has in front of him, and there is a massive pile of documents waiting to be read on the desk. He looks up when Sasuke enters the room.

 “Lord Hokage,” Sasuke blurts out a greeting and doesn’t make any attempt to remove his ANBU mask. Kakashi can take it as an insult for all Sasuke cares, but he won’t show Kakashi his face because if he does, Kakashi will see the wound and know exactly how it came to be, and Sasuke won’t stomach that embarrassment right now. He is still boiling with white anger and rage and it takes all his willpower not to start yelling again. But Sasuke also knows that screaming at Kakashi now will probably result only in Kakashi deciding that Sasuke isn’t enough in his right mind to go after all. So Sasuke keeps his mouth shut, his anger at bay and his gaze on the large windows behind Kakashi’s back.

Sasuke doesn’t see it but can well imagine how Kakashi’s eyes harden at the title.

“Robin,” Kakashi says after a pointed pause. “You’re early.”

Sasuke glances at him behind his mask, moving only his eyes so that Kakashi won’t know Sasuke is watching him. But he wouldn’t have to be careful, because Kakashi has already turned his attention back to the reports on his desk. He flips through his papers, stopping only to sign a few of them every so often, and leaves Sasuke there to stand and wait.

Sasuke grits his teeth. Now that they have started this childish charade, he has to stick to his role of the Hokage’s bodyguard. But with every second that ticks by Danzou might be getting farther away from him.

Sasuke catches himself scuffling with his feet. He forces himself to stand still with his chin up, hands clasped behind his back. He stares at the window behind Kakashi and counts the minutes. His teammates still haven’t arrived and Sasuke is already making promises to himself – if they aren’t here in five minutes, he is out of the village, consequences be damned.

Kakashi scribbles something down on the mission report in front of him, takes another one from the pile when he is finished with the first one and starts reading through it – all of this while looking calm and collected like he didn’t just have a shouting match with Sasuke not half an hour ago.

Sasuke really wants to strangle him for doing this to him. If it weren’t for the fact that Sasuke is minutes away from getting to go and find Danzou and kill him, Sasuke would throw his mask his away and have a loud conversation about the boundaries of their relationship and how Kakashi keeps cartwheeling over them. He should understand how much going after Danzou means to Sasuke – how can he even think that he has the right to stop him?

The silence goes on between them. There are at least two separate times when Sasuke opens his mouth behind his ANBU mask to say something, anything to break this awkward, ridiculous tension between them even if it is just to argue more, but each time he decides it’s not worth it.

It’s the third time Sasuke has the urge to walk over to Kakashi and either make him understand how much he hurt him, or start screeching and screaming and throwing things when Kakashi finally acknowledges him. Sasuke’s intake of breath is more audible than he meant when he tries to think of something to say, and Kakashi hears it. He glances up at Sasuke, but right before either of them can say anything, the guard members walk in.

They must have sensed that something is off, because instead jumping right into their usual goofing around, they come to stand in a neat line behind Sasuke and wait silently for Kakashi to get started with his briefing.

Kakashi leans his elbows on the desk and rests his chin on his crossed fingers.

“I have received information of Shimura Danzou’s suspected whereabouts. I’m sending you there to investigate the site. I want to know where he is, the layout of his hiding place, if there is any, the strength of his forces. Anything you can find out,” he says and let his gaze travel from one member of his guard to another. “This is a very dangerous mission, and I can’t emphasise enough the importance of caution. Do not engage him or his troops until you know what the situation is, and especially not if you’re outnumbered. This mission is only to gather information on him, we can afford to send another group to capture him when we know what we are dealing with.”

Kakashi looks each of them in the eye.

“You may capture him if you get the chance, but I won’t tolerate any foolish attempts of heroism.” At this part of his speech Kakashi glances pointedly at Sasuke. “I want him imprisoned and brought back to the village, so we can interrogate him and have him properly sentenced. That means you’re not allowed to kill him unless your lives are in danger.”

Lion clears his throat and waits for Kakashi to let him speak.

“Sir, are we all going? Shouldn’t at least someone stay in the village to secure your and the village’s safety?”

“One of you will stay here, the rest will go on the mission,” Kakashi says. This time he doesn’t even look at Sasuke when he addresses him. “Robin, you may choose the team you take with you. Who stays here?”

At least by now the team members get it that there is something going on between them – Kakashi almost never calls Sasuke by his codename when there is no one but the team around. Sasuke doesn’t acknowledge his teammates’ obvious confusion, but focuses on deciding who he wants to take with him. Sasuke considers his team and stops on Eagle who nods when he notices Sasuke looking at him.

“Eagle will stay here,” Sasuke says and doesn’t meet Kakashi’s gaze either. It’s only when he adds the very pointed, emphasized “Sir” after a little bit too long pause that he looks Kakashi straight in the eye.

To his all the time growing annoyance Kakashi doesn’t show any reaction to his very deliberate taunting.

“Good,” he states and spreads a map on his desk. He beckons the team to come closer and then shows them the place where the ANBU detected Danzou’s chakra signature. “It will take you at least three days to get here,” he says and points to an area near the border the Land of Fire shares with the Land of Rivers. “Find out as much as you can in a day or two. I’ll be expecting you back in a little over a week.”

With that he rolls the map shut, taps it against the desk and dismisses them.

Sasuke bows his head at his Hokage like he is supposed to do – he has never bothered with this tradition before – and his team copies him behind him. When Sasuke straightens up and meets Kakashi’s gaze, Kakashi gives him a look that clearly says: “Don’t make me regret this.”

Sasuke turns his back to Kakashi and marches out of the office.


	32. Downpour - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the second part of today's update!

_The 2nd of July, the fifth year of peace_ _  
The Land of Fire_

For the first few hours of their journey, nobody says anything apart from a couple of shouted commands as they dash through the thick forests of the Land of Fire. Sasuke’s teammates think it best not to ask their leader what is wrong, and Sasuke doesn’t mind being left to fuming all by himself. He drives his team mercilessly forwards and keeps ushering them to move faster – Danzou might be making his escape right this second for all they know, while they are still here, days away.

Anger is a marvellous driving force as well. Every time his lungs burn with exhaustion and his feet falter underneath him, all Sasuke has to do is to think of Kakashi ordering him around, and he finds new strength to push himself into an even harder speed. His teammates, following his lead silently, almost struggle to keep up with him.

By the time Sasuke finally relents to give up for the day, they are almost half-way through the journey that was supposed to take them three days. The next day, they travel with the same determination – Sasuke has them on the move long before the sunrise – and when the sun is still high up over their heads on the third day, they reach their destination.

The location the ANBU described is really only a patch in the forest, and there are barely any traces of chakra left there for them to detect. They spend the rest of the third day and the morning of the next one combing through the area, spreading out in circles and looking for even the tiniest clue of where Danzou might be hiding.

There is no hidden headquarters to be found, not even when Sasuke and his rage storm through the forest in a frantic search of, well, anything.

“I’m sorry, Chief,” Owl says and walks over to clasp a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder after he finishes with his outburst. “It was always a long shot.”

Sasuke grits his teeth and keeps his gaze off her. He refuses to give up, this can’t be it.

“We’ll try again,” he says and barks the order again at the whole team. They don’t seem that excited to continue, but don’t stand up to him either. Sasuke marches a little bit ahead of them as they search through the forest again, his sharingan whirling and swirling in his eyes as he looks for the tiniest chakra signature that could lead him on Danzou’s trail.

When the dawn of the fifth day of their journey comes, his teammates are ready to give up. In their final, desperate attempt, they walk through the area once again with Sasuke, but this time they move further out from the place where the ANBU thought she had sensed Danzou. The forest is thicker and darker there, good half a mile from the original location, and it’s far-fetched to think that they will find anything here.

Until Hare literally stumbles on a lead.

All Sasuke and the others hear is a loud _thud_ and the rudest swear words they have had the pleasure to hear for a while, then comes a slightly raspy “Chief! Here!” from somewhere in the underbrush.

Sasuke jogs over to Hare with the rest of the team to see him getting on his feet on a trail. It’s narrow and seems to be seldom used, but it’s a trail. Someone has obviously tried to hide their tracks, as the nearby bushes and the thick underbrush have been arranged to cover the path, but they couldn’t have anticipated that Hare would take a head-first stumble right on the very thing.

“They are somewhere around here,” Otter says from somewhere behind Sasuke. “They have to be. Danzou. And his slimy, cowardly followers. It takes a big number of brainless minions to make a path like this.”

“Or a smaller group using it regularly,” Lion adds. “If Shimura has a hiding place here, this might very well be the path they use when they go to get supplies from nearby civilian villages. I think I remember seeing some on the map Lord Hokage showed us. Or then the villagers come through here to sell them whatever they need.”

“It must be far away, their hiding place,” Otter muses. “We haven’t detected any chakra though we have been here for days, while Danzou is supposed to have a large group of people with him. They should be a damn beacon of chakra for us to sense.”

“That ANBU must have sensed a small group of them travelling somewhere. It’s plainly a lucky coincidence that she happened to be here.”

 “Can we follow them?” Sasuke asks and scrutinises the view on front of him. Now that he knows what he is looking at, he sees the snapped branches and disturbed underbrush around their group, but farther away it’s hard to say where the trail is – there are large rocks and moss and traces of other paths crossing this one, created by the forest animals.

“Owl’s our best tracker,” Otter cheers and takes a few leaps along the path. “We’re gonna find them in no time.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say _in no time_ ,” Owl says as she crouches down to study the path. “It might take a few days, depending on how far away their hideout is, and we should start heading back to Konoha today. Capta – Lord Hokage gave us only a week, and this detour will delay us.” She looks up at Sasuke for his decision.

“The path leads inland, doesn’t it?” Sasuke asks, his gaze still focused on the trail. ”We would be circling back towards Konoha if we follow it.”

“In theory, yes, but we would still probably be late.”

“That’s fine,” Sasuke says, raises his chin and keeps his gaze locked on the path. For the first time in days he feels calm and level-headed, and he knows exactly what to do. “We are going after Danzou.”

“But what about Lord Hokage – ?” Owl tries to ask, her voice worried and doubtful, but Sasuke cuts her off.

“He can wait.”

Owl stares at him for a second too long before she lowers her gaze and focuses her attention back on searching for other clues. Soon she declares that she is ready to try to follow the path, and they are hunting again.

 

o0o

 

 

_The 7th of July, the fifth year of peace  
The Land of Fire_

When the evening of the sixth day catches up with them, the exhaustion finally kicks in while they still haven’t found Danzou’s hideout. They lost the track once today, and had to return to where they had last been sure they were on the right path. They lost at least two hours to that detour. Still, even with that mishap, they have travelled far in one day, and Owl has pointed out several clues that tell them that they are close – they come across more and more man-made paths the farther they travel, and the few wild animals they see are unusually scared of them.

And while Sasuke would like nothing more than to keep going when they are so close, he has to admit that even he has limits, and when his legs start to feel so heavy that he trips on his feet with nearly every other step, he realises that they have to rest. His team is happy to agree, and they make camp high up in the giant trees of the forest. They are close to the hideout, they all feel it, but they need to be well-prepared for what comes tomorrow.

The bright stars of the night twinkle behind the roof created by the branches and leaves of the trees. The dark forest whispers at night as the animals creep around and winds dance around the trees. Owl, who has the first watch, is very much like her namesake as she sits on a branch high above the rest of the team and keeps an eye for the night.

Sasuke is still awake. His watch shift is later, during the small hours, and if he was wise, he would be resting for his shift and tomorrow. But he isn’t feeling very wise right now.

The days of relentless running around the Land of Fire have slowly worn out his anger, and now, as he lies on a thick branch of the tree and tries to fall asleep, instead of rage, it’s just sadness and fear and even slight panic caused by the lack of sleep that keep him awake.

Sasuke closes his eyes, turns to his side and tries to calm himself down. But as soon as he tries to empty his mind and fall asleep, his thought circle back to that last morning in Konoha.

 _This is how it started with Naruto_. That is all he can think of – those words keep repeating themselves in his head over and over again. The small arguments eating away their everyday life and the bigger fights that ended with doors slamming and screamed words, that is what happened with Naruto and now it’s happening with Kakashi. Sasuke knows he isn’t thinking straight, that he is too tired to be rational about this, but he can’t help but to panic. What if this is it?

Now that he is just tired and miserable, he misses home. And not Konoha nor the house in the district, but the memory of going to bed and having someone there next to him and a dog or two sleeping at his feet. He misses it now more than ever before because right now he fears he might have lost it.

He has never fought with Kakashi like this. They have had their arguments in the past, but those times never left him feeling raw and hurting like this. Before, they didn’t say things they knew would hurt the other.

Sasuke brushes the wound on his cheek. It’s healing slowly and the skin around it is tender. His breath hitches when his fingers hit a sore spot.

He was a stubborn, selfish bastard that morning, Sasuke knows that. Of course he didn’t mean it when he yelled at Kakashi to get out of his life. Sasuke just felt that he had been driven into a corner, with Kakashi not letting him go, with Sai and Naruto stressing him out, with the Elders breathing down on his neck at every turn – with there being nothing in his life he could control anymore. Avenging his family was the last thing he could cling on to. Sasuke had just lashed out when he had been in the danger of losing the one final thing keeping him together.

And while Sasuke can’t stand the fact that Kakashi chose to use his authority on him, he also understands why Kakashi did it. When he knows how many people Kakashi has lost on missions like this, Sasuke understands how hard it must have been for Kakashi let a blood-thirsty Sasuke after his sworn enemy when they know practically nothing about the dangers he might face. Kakashi had run out of options when Sasuke had refused to listen to him.

The deep breath Sasuke takes next is a little shakier than he would like it to be. A cocky bastard, that’s what he was when he knew full well that Kakashi was just afraid of losing him. Just like Sasuke is now afraid of having lost him.

A cold wind sends shivers running up his spine. Sasuke bites his lip.

This is what he feared when he first refused to act on the feelings he had for Kakashi, ruining everything and losing him for good. Sasuke knew that this would happen someday – either it’s already over with them, or then they try again when he goes back home, and end up fighting until they hate each other. He can only wonder how much worse the stress caused by having to hide will make this.

Sasuke covers his eyes with his hand and curls tighter on himself.

_Fuck._

Around him, the members of his team are fast asleep and oblivious to his distress. Their breaths are calm and quiet with their backs turned to him. Owl is high up in the tree, away from Sasuke’s eyes. Sasuke forces himself to quiet down to keep her from hearing him, he doesn’t want her or anyone of the team to notice how shaken he is.

And while there is a chance that he will come face to face with Danzou tomorrow, the need to get his revenge doesn’t feel as overpowering anymore when he isn’t sure whether he has anyone waiting for him at home.

 

o0o

 

 

_The 8th of July, the fifth year of peace  
The Land of Fire_

When they finally arrive at Danzou’s hideout, Sasuke knows immediately that they are too late.

Winds howl between the makeshift buildings in the clearing and up a rocky hill that offers the camp a cover from wind and prying eyes. There is not one shinobi in sight, let alone Danzou himself. Only faint traces of chakra linger in the shacks that must have housed Danzou and his traitors for the last few months, if not for the last year.

A dry wooden wall of a cottage catches fire when a lightning bursts from Sasuke's hand. His sharingan glows through the eyeholes of his mask as he commands his team to search the camp and leave no stone unturned, even though he knows that it is futile. The ANBUs spread out on the camp while Sasuke stays in place and eyes the poor hideout of his enemy.

The ground around the shacks has turned to mud over time, and tracks of footprints on footprints circle around the site. The wood on the shabby cottage he set on fire barely burns, so damp and rotten it is, but it does smoke and badly. There are supplies stored in a few sheds here and there, and curiously, their storages seem full. Ordinary items lie on the ground – there is a pot resting on the grass as if it had just fallen from the sky and landed there. An old and worn book has been forgotten on a bench in front of one of the shacks.

Sasuke has no idea what caused Danzou and his followers to leave, but what is clear is that when they left, they left in a hurry.

“Why aren’t they here?” Sasuke hears himself mutter as he spins on his feet and tries to take everything in. “Why would they leave?”

 He removes his mask and rubs his eyes – it must be all the dust and smoke that make his eyes itch.

“Bounty hunters,” Hare offers as he emerges from behind a particularly pitiful shack, wiping his kunai clean.

“What?”

“A group of bounty hunters must have come after them. There’s a hefty prize on that bastard’s head after all,” Hare says and spits on the ground. He points to the back of the camp with his thumb. “Saw a body there at the back. Wasn’t one of the shitheads that left with Danzou. Not really a ninja, more like a deserter by the looks of him. Probably came from somewhere near the Cloud or Earth.”

Sasuke blinks, then narrows his eyes and looks over the campsite again.

“One body doesn’t really say anything.”

“Nope. But Lion seems to have found more of them.” Hare lifts a hand and points towards Lion who is standing on the other side of the camp, waving to get them come closer.

Sasuke furrows his brow and nods to Hare to have him follow him.

“I counted at least ten bodies,” Lion says as soon as they reach him. “I have never seen them in my life, so I doubt they were with Shimura.”

“So, bounty hunters then,” Sasuke says and walks closer to the corpses. They are lying on the ground, some of them on top of each other as if in a pile, hidden behind the sturdiest and best-built shack. “Why are they here like this?”

Lion doesn’t seem to have answer for the latter question, so he goes with answering the first one.

“Most likely. My guess is that they scared Danzou and his group away. There were a few of Shimura’s followers lying dead in the shacks but most of the dead I have seen around the camp were with these guys.”

“The bounty hunters would have killed Danzou and his group here if they had won, and simply taken their heads with them. There would be a lot more headless bodies lying around if that had happened,” Sasuke says. “So Danzou and most of his group must have survived. And fled.” 

“It’s just bad luck for us,” Hare butts in. He walks over to the bodies and unceremoniously kicks them to get a better look at what’s underneath them. “There’s a tunnel there under them, Chief. They were trying to get in and Danzou’s forces to keep them out. Or at least that’s what my gut tells me.”

A tunnel? An awful lot of those keeps popping up these days.

Sasuke crouches down, hesitates for a half a second, and then pushes one of the corpses away to reveal – as Hare said – a tunnel. Or to be more precise, a hatch door to a tunnel. Sasuke makes a clicking sound with his tongue and shoves the other corpses away as well, so he can get his fingers underneath the hatch and lift the heavy door. As he lets the hatch fall down on the ground, he moves the last one of the bodies out of the way to get more room for himself to look down at the tunnel.

But before Sasuke can peer down at the darkness, there is something on the cold skin of the corpse that catches his attention. The whole right arm of the dead man is coloured black and blue and ugly greenish yellow, like it was one giant bruise. But it’s not the dark discoloration that makes Sasuke inch closer to the body to study it better.

The veins – or the chakra pathways – of the corpse are visible through the skin. They are almost white. It’s like an inversed lightning tattoo Sasuke is staring at, a white lightning on the dark sky.

“Two lightning attacks.”

Sasuke glances over his shoulder at Lion.

“That happens when two strong lightning jutsus meet head to head. The opposite electric charges blow up, add chakra to the mix and you end up with that,” Lion explains and crouches next to Sasuke. He lifts the arm of the corpse to let Sasuke see the damage better. “Your chakra pathways get fried and you’re lucky if you have feeling left in that arm. Or control over your muscles. And on top of that the discoloration can last for months, though that’s the least of your worries.”

“I haven’t seen this before,” Sasuke admits and glances at the rest of the body. His stomach has been cut open so Sasuke doesn’t really have to guess why the man died, but the arm is interesting. When one of his strongest, trusted jutsus is lightning-based, and easily powerful enough to cause this, he can’t help but be intrigued. “These hunters most have been powerful if this guy had the skills to pull off a jutsu that could cause this. They got Danzou and his followers to escape.”

“Or then Danzou doesn’t have that many soldiers with him anymore. It doesn’t matter that a third of the population of the village left with him – if the food sucks, the roof lets through rain and they haven’t managed to organise an attack on us in a year, people are going to start voting with their feet.”

“The first good news of the day,” Sasuke notes dryly.

“It might make Danzou more desperate to attack too, so I wouldn’t say that quite yet.”

Sasuke hums and finally gets to focus on the tunnel. What greets him when he looks down is a black hole and what seems like a good drop downwards.

“Well, that’s interesting. They obviously wanted to keep the bounty hunters out of there, so we should probably check it out,” Hare comments and peers over Sasuke’s shoulder into the darkness. He gives a slight push to Sasuke’s back. “Ladies and chiefs first.”

Sasuke doesn’t even bother to roll his eyes. He needs to see what is at the bottom of the hole and how deep the drop is. He slams his hands together in the hand signs of his katon jutsu and launches a fire ball into the pit. The fire lights the space, the glimmering wet stone walls and the ground far below covered in puddles. There must be an underground river or some kind of a body of water down there to cause all the humidity.

There is no one down there, or if there is, at least they now know to hide. Sasuke waves his hand to get his team to follow him – Otter is left behind to keep watch in the case someone is trying to sneak up on them – and drops down into the hole.

The wet surface of the stone wall is slippery under his feet and Sasuke has to direct a fair amount of his chakra into them to keep himself from falling down on the ground dozens of feet below him. He activates his sharingan to see in the little light that comes from the open hatch door. If there is something down there waiting for him, he wants to see it before it can see him.

They make it to the ground level without any mishaps. Above their heads, the hole they came through is a small square of white, but the light barely reaches them down here. When Sasuke sends another fire ball into the air, they see that there really is a tunnel at the bottom, leading to the opposite direction from the campsite. When Sasuke and his team have made sure that there is nothing worth their interest at this end of the tunnel, they decide to investigate the dark path further.

It takes them a couple of long minutes of walking and a few turns in the pitch darkness before they notice anything out of the ordinary. There is light gleaming from somewhere – they can only guess where it’s coming from, maybe there are gaps in the thick rock structure above them, or Danzou has had time to invent a jutsu for lighting up huge caverns like this.

That mystery is solved when Lion accidentally kicks a broken portable lamp into skipping on the stone floor. The sound echoes loudly in the tunnel and they all freeze in place, waiting for someone or something to find them. But nothing comes. Sasuke hopes that if Danzou and his troops are hiding in here, they didn’t hear the racket. He doesn’t want to alert them if there is even the smallest chance that they could take the old councillor by surprise.

As the venture deeper into the tunnel, they come across many of those lamps, of different shapes and sizes, and they come to the conclusion that Danzou and his groups must have scavenged, stolen and maybe even bought them from different places somewhere along the way here. It seems more and more likely that the bounty hunters sneaked up on the group, because just like at the camp, there are lamps and other everyday items forgotten in the oddest places. The fact that the lamps are still on and shining tells Sasuke that it must have been only days, if not hours, since Danzou and the rest of the traitors were still here.

Eventually, they come to the first crossroads. After a moment of pondering it over together, they split up into two pairs to investigate the two tunnels. Lion and Owl take the left one, Sasuke and Hare the right one, but it doesn’t take long before Sasuke and Hare find themselves at another crossroads.

“I don’t like this,” Sasuke says and crosses his arms. He looks at Hare who shrugs his shoulders.

“Can’t help it, Chief. We gotta see what’s down there. You take that one, I’ll go this way.”

Sasuke huffs, waves a hand at Hare and heads down to the left tunnel alone. It is the wider one of the two, and as he follows it deeper underground, the walls get smoother and cleaner, and the tunnel could almost be called a hallway. Curious, Sasuke picks up the pace.

At the end of the tunnel, there is a massive space, a room at least twice as large as the makeshift ballroom in the Hokage tower, and at least three floors higher. It’s almost like it’s man-carved and designed, as there is clearly an open hall-like space, balconies circling the room in three floors and a multitude of hallways that lead here. It must be the central room of this labyrinth of a cavern, a great place to hide a large number of people, and Sasuke is pretty sure that this and the camp somewhere above them are where Danzou and his troops were hiding the last year.

It is awfully close to Konoha.

It was here all this time, so close, and now that Sasuke finally found this place, Danzou has yet again managed to escape from his grasp.

Refusing to let his anger take control, Sasuke focuses on the structure of the cavern. The heavy stone ceiling is so thick and wide that it must have hidden their chakras. Even if somebody walked over this place right now, stood right above of him, they wouldn’t probably detect a thing.

His eyes itch again. Sasuke grunts in annoyance – it would be easier to keep an eye out for any possible enemies if he didn’t have to keep blinking so much.

His tunnel ended on the third floor of the stone hall, but Sasuke wants a closer look at the space he is in. He jumps down to the ground level and uses his chakra to brace his legs for the high drop. His landing is quiet, but even the tiniest sounds echo in the space that magnifies them. It smells a little damp in there, and as Sasuke focuses on listening for any other sounds, he thinks he can hear the distant roar of a fast-flowing river.

He and his team are supposed to be back in Konoha tomorrow, but it will take them two, probably three days this time, to reach Konoha. They will be late, and this is all they can report back. There is no enemy of the village here, only the hideout Danzou has abandoned. They could always spend a day, if not two or three to comb this place through for any clues of where Danzou might have fled or if he was planning anything, but that would slow them down even more.

Sasuke close his eyes and just breathes. It won’t do him any good to let his anger take control again. Danzou is gone, and there is nothing he can do about it. Screaming won’t change that fact. Sasuke shakes his head – his short temper has caused him enough trouble.

And then comes the horrible though – did he ruin everything with Kakashi for nothing?

Sasuke bites his cheek, clenches his fist, then shakes his head. He refuses to think about that now – he has a job to do.

Sasuke can’t hear his teammates from here. Many of the tunnels seem to lead here, but he has no idea whether the tunnels the ANBUs took do so too. Sasuke has no way of knowing how Otter is doing at the campsite somewhere above him either. They need to regroup and think this through.

They agreed that they would each spend a certain amount of time investigating their own tunnels, and then return the same way they came from. Sasuke might be a little bit early, but he sees no use in choosing one of the many tunnels here at random when he already has a hard time trying to remember which one of the tunnels he originally came from.

After a bit of squinting his eyes at the stone hall, Sasuke spots the right tunnel on the top floor. He can also see a stone staircase on the back wall, but as a ninja he has no patience for such things. He collects his chakra, blinks his still itching eyes so he can focus on where he is aiming, and jumps three floors up in one go.

Sasuke lands on the balcony of the third floor easily even though the main hall is dim. There were a few still working lamps forgotten on the ground floor and in the tunnels, but the light doesn’t reach him this far up, and he needs his sharingan to see clearly.

Sasuke glances behind himself to make sure that he didn’t forget or drop anything there. He has his sword, and his mask is in its place covering his face until he removes it now and rubs his eyes again.

Sasuke furrows his brows and stops the motion. This is starting to feel strange – what is it with his eyes? Is there something in the air?

Maybe he needs to go outside – who knows what grows in a place like this. He spins around on his feet, chooses the right tunnel and steps in.

Then his chakra vanishes.


	33. Tempest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! Long time, no see. Here is a long chapter for you. We are slowly, but so far quite surely heading towards the Plot ;D

_The 8th of July, the fifth year of peace  
_ _The Land of Fire_  

It is like the rug is pulled out from under him when it happens. His chakra is gone in a heartbeat, it disappears just like the air from his lungs. His sharingan fades, and the darkness of the cave engulfs him.

A sharp pain shoots through his skull.

His ANBU mask slips from his fingers and clatters on the floor as Sasuke falls on his knees with a grunt. His legs hit the ground in a bad angle, and the impact sends tremors running through his spine, but none of it compares to the pain in his eyes. Sasuke grabs his head and scrunches his eyes closed, so hard that colours and lights flash behind his eyelids. His tangled hair gets stuck on his fingers when they dig into his scalp, his nails scraping the skin. His eyes itch and _burn_.

Sasuke tries to cover his eyes with his hand, but as he moves, the ache travels downwards. His back, his arms, his legs, everything is set on fire. The few times Sasuke remembers to breathe, it hurts. He is paralyzed on the ground, gasping for breath and trying to understand what is happening to him.

Sasuke’s heartbeat drums in his ears. It is the only sound echoing in the tunnel apart from his own ragged breathing. His lungs burn. _What is going on?_ He tries to gather his chakra, tries to grasp it from deep inside him, but he reaches nothing. Where his chakra is supposed to form is only emptiness, just like when his chakra was sealed off. Cold shivers run up his spine, and Sasuke slams his hands on his wrists to make sure that there aren’t any chakra cuffs on them, even when he knows there possibly can’t be any.

_But what is causing this?_

Sasuke blinks his itching eyes open, keeps blinking to fight off the pain, and brushes off the tears born from the burn. Frantically, he looks around and tries to see what might have set this off, but without his sharingan he can make out only vague shapes in the darkness.

Along with his chakra disappeared also his ability to sense it, and now he is cut off from the world around him. Sasuke has to count on his other senses, but he can’t rely on his sight right now, and his panicked heartbeat distracts him from hearing anything else. As if he could concentrate in the first place when the pain keeps washing over him in waves.

The tunnel. The hideout. Danzou. Sasuke needs to focus. He is an easy target like this. He grabs his sword from its sheath at his hip and forces himself to be ready for whatever might be lurking in the darkness.

But the cave remains silent and empty. There are no gleaming eyes or approaching footsteps even though Sasuke waits for them, holding his breath, while the pain pounds his skull. The faint light glowing from the massive hall behind him doesn’t reach the tunnel, and the other end of the path, the one Sasuke is facing, is pitch dark like a giant mouth of a tailed beast. Nothing moves in the darkness, and Sasuke lets himself breathe.

His sword clangs against the ground as he lets his hand fall. Now the blade rests on the floor next to him, but Sasuke still has a loose hold on the hilt. His heart drums in chest, every beat is a violent thud that he feels deep down in his bones.

The deep intake of breath he draws in turns into a cough. Another one follows the first, then the third and fourth, and soon Sasuke can’t stop himself from folding over and coughing so hard it shakes him. He covers his mouth with his hand, the other he rests on the ground to keep himself from falling over while his sword is forgotten on the floor next to him. Every harsh, wet, gurgling cough is like a slam against his chest, and his lungs burn as they run out of air.

When it finally ends, Sasuke is a mess on the floor, gasping for breath and shivering. All he wants to do is to whine and sob and die right there, but he forces himself to open his eyes and sit back up. He feels something wet and warm trickle down from his lips, and when he pulls away the hand he had over his mouth, it is covered in blood.

There is a lot of it – some of it drips from his fingers and on his lap to seep through the thick fabric of his trousers. The coppery taste lingers in his mouth, and stray hairs have latched on the wet marks on his cheeks. His throat is sore.

Sasuke wipes his hands on his trousers – there is a reason for their dark colour. He has to do that many times before he gets his hand dry, but he can’t quite get the red stains on his skin off. He brushes his thumb against the wet corner of his mouth before licking his index finger and cleaning the blood away with it.

Once Sasuke is finished, he tries to collect his chakra again. Right now the pain isn’t clouding his thoughts quite like it was before, it doesn’t hurt as much to move, so this is as good time to try as any. He raises his shaking, not quite clean hand in front of his face and calls for the chidori, but there is no response from his body. No chakra, no lightning, no shrill sound to pierce the silence of the cave. Sasuke stares at his left hand and brings it closer to his face as if that would let him see what is wrong with him.

This can’t be it _._ This can’t be happening. His chakra can’t just disappear like this, _it’s not fair_ – how can he be a ninja if he can’t use chakra –

No, he won’t do this now. Sasuke snatches his mask from the ground, ties it to his hip, and gets slowly on his feet, steading himself on his sword. Once he gets up, he holds one hand against the wall to keep himself from swaying, the other he presses against his forehead. His head is still swirling. Sasuke forces himself to take slow, even breaths while he studies his surroundings, and when he is certain that there is nothing or no one else in the tunnel with him, Sasuke closes his eyes and counts to ten.

Once he reaches the number ten, he breathes out and tries to gather his chakra yet again. But this time he focuses and reaches deep inside him. Sasuke takes his time and refuses to think about anything else but the technique for generating chakra he was taught a decade ago in the academy. He goes through all the familiar basic steps that were hidden in the lyrics of the song his grandmother taught him when he first started to play with his chakra as a toddler, and follows the instructions he hasn’t bothered to remember in years because he has known how to do this by heart for ages. He corrects his posture on instinct, because Itachi always used to remind him of that at this point of their training, takes one last careful breath, and opens his eyes.

His vision is tainted with red.

His chakra flows through him like a warm current, as safe and steady and familiar as always, and Sasuke realises to stop holding his breath only five seconds later. An involuntary shiver runs through him, and his shoulders sag as all the tension leaves his body. His legs almost give out. Sasuke has to lean on the wall to keep himself upward, but he doesn’t care about any of that because sparks of chakra play in the air around his fingers.

Sasuke lets himself be just purely, completely relieved for the short time it takes him to get his legs back in working order. While there are still ghosts of the burns and pain faintly aching in him, the worst is over. His fingers are sore from cramping, but it is a good, healthy pain – he knows why it is there.

Sasuke blinks the sharingan away once his head stops spinning, and then activates it again. There are no mishaps this time – his eyes turn black and red and back again as many times as he wants to at his slightest command.

His thousand birds fill the tunnel with their eerie sound when Sasuke calls for his jutsu to make sure that his chakra is really under his control. The shrill cry might needlessly alert his teammates if they happen to be nearby, but right now Sasuke doesn’t care. All he needs to know is that his chakra is bright and sharp, and he can taste it in the air.

Sasuke studies the tunnel in the blue light of the chidori. It’s empty, the stone walls and the floor are bare, and nothing is hiding on the low ceiling as far as he can see – his sharingan picks up no signs of life.

If the cave isn’t an enormous trap to take away chakra, then what made his chakra disappear?

Sasuke squints his eyes. This has happened once before. It was only for a few seconds, and it didn’t hurt that time – _it was nothing like this_ – but during the chuunin exams his chakra disappeared just like it did now. But back then, both Sakura and Tsunade were sure that it was only because of the after effects of the chakra-suppressing seal. Now it has been almost a year since Kakashi removed his seal. There is no way that it could still bothering him, is there?

But there was that jutsu one of Danzou’s followers, Tiger, cast on him in Orochimaru’s abandoned laboratory. The jutsu that never worked. Kakashi said that no such long-lasting jutsu exists, _Tsunade_ promised him that there aren’t techniques that would take this long to work. It can’t be that. It can’t. This has to be something else.

Sasuke clenches his hands into fists to keep his hands from shaking, because there is something else it could be. There is a memory. A memory from a time Sasuke would forget and bury somewhere deep if he only could. Itachi, sometime during those countless, hazy hours of their final battle, is on his knees, his pale hand covering his mouth, his knuckles white, and his tense back shaking with every cough. Itachi glancing at his red-stained fingers first, then staring up at Sasuke with a look in his dark eyes Sasuke never understood. Until now.

Itachi was weaker than he should have been when they fought. Sasuke knew that already then, but he has refused to admit that to himself – first because that would have nullified his victory over the murderer of his clan, then because Sasuke couldn’t bear to think what his brother went through for him.

Sasuke also remembers the masked man, who told him the truth about the massacre, mentioning that Itachi had lasted through his final months only because of strong medication.

Itachi was already dying when Sasuke found him.

Sasuke hangs his head and covers his eyes with his hand. This is just yet another way he has failed his brother. Apparently that is all he is good for. Because he should have known, he should have realised that something was amiss, it was Itachi, _his brother_ , for fuck’s sake –

But how did it start for Itachi? When did it start? Did his chakra disappear? Sasuke can’t remember if his brother was struggling with his health when he was still at home, he was too young back then – and Itachi would have been stealthy enough to hide it from him anyway – and then Itachi was gone from Sasuke’s world for years. Sasuke has no way of knowing anything of it, and that scares him because all he now sees are similarities.

No, now he is just making things up. His chakra disappeared for a few minutes, yes, and he might have coughed up something he shouldn’t have, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that he is going to _die –_

That clerk. What did the clerk say? Something about his medical results, wasn’t it? He wanted Sasuke to go with him immediately, he was desperate about it and said that they had tried to reach him for weeks. And Sasuke had brushed him off, just like he did to all those letters that had been waiting for Sasuke at home and which he never opened.

There must be something seriously wrong with him.

Sasuke bites his lip and slumps against the wall. The rocky surface is rough and hard, and stones dig into his back. His eyes itch. Sasuke rubs them with his knuckles and deactivates his sharingan even though he ends up in the dark. He won’t have his chakra disappearing again.

And he thought that having the Elders spying on him was bad.

Sasuke brushes his sweaty hair from his face and squints his eyes at the darkness of the cave. He can’t lose himself now. He has to get back to his team and back to Konoha, then he will go find a medic, or better yet, he will go straight to Tsunade. If he goes by the Hokage’s office, he can ask Kakashi to come too so he can remember all the medical details while Sasuke can focus on panicking –

Except Kakashi won’t come.

He doesn’t want anything to do with Sasuke anymore, because Sasuke told him to stay the hell away from him.

Sasuke bites his lip and takes a quick breath through his nose. Okay, so there will be no one to hold his hand when Tsunade pokes and prods him with needles and tells him he is going to die. Sasuke can live with that. He will live with that. He has had to do it before, it’s nothing new.

Moving on. He really needs to go find his team.

Sasuke gets up, and a roll of his shoulders later he heads down the tunnel he came from. It’s a lot harder to move in the dark without the vision of his sharingan, but he doesn’t dare risk using his chakra again so soon after what happened. He runs his hand along the wall of the cave to find his way, until he comes across a few of the portable lamps lying around in the tunnel. In their light, he can see even without the sharingan, and he can pick up the pace.

Sasuke’s footsteps echo in the tunnel. Somehow, the journey back feels longer than it did the other way around. Sasuke is still on his guard, his tense shoulders up to his ears, and he flinches every time he accidentally kicks pebbles into skipping down the path. The pain might have passed, but his body is still stiff and sore, and the hand he clutches around the hilt of his sword is strained.

When Sasuke finally emerges from the tunnel to the part of the cavern where the hatch door is after what feels like countless hours, his teammates are already there waiting for him. Lion, Owl, and Otter, who has come down to join the others, turn to look at him while Hare waves a hand and takes a few steps towards him.

“Chief! It’s a goddamn time you showed up, you’re late. We thought we had accidentally brought the captain along instead of you – hey, are you alright?”

Hare stops his rant to get a better look at Sasuke. Owl and her motherly tendencies march past him and are on Sasuke in that instant, but Sasuke brushes her hands off.

“I’m fine,” he says and shakes his head. He probably looks like a ghost, and it is very likely that he did not get all the blood off, and he certainly isn’t fine, but his situation with his chakra is not something his team needs to worry about, at least right now. “Did you find anything?”

“Not much,” Lion answers as Sasuke walk up to him with Hare and Owl jogging after him. “Some more living quarters, tunnels after tunnels, and a room where Danzou and his group might have planned whatever they have in mind. There were some maps and books, but nothing that tells us what they have been scheming. They must have taken their plans with them when they fled.”

It’s honestly more than Sasuke expected – to find out that Danzou was making any plans in the first place is progress. Right now he is ready to accept this as good news, he is in a serious need for some of those.

“There is a massive hall at the end of the path I took,” Sasuke tells his team and nods towards the mouth of the tunnel. “Good for rallying speeches, I imagine. But there was nothing there either.”

Not one of the five of them caught even a glimpse of Danzou or his troops. It’s not surprising – the cave is large and complex enough to hide even a village worth of people, and Sasuke seriously doubts that the hatch door is the only way out. There are probably a few tunnels that lead to the forest around them. The cavern reaches who knows how far – Sasuke and his team would have to comb through the forest for miles for any leads, and they already used their luck to accidentally stumble on the path that lead them here.

Four pairs of eyes look at Sasuke.

“What do we do now?” Otter asks for all of them, the shortest one of the row of the ANBUs. “We should be back in Konoha by now.”

Sasuke sighs and glances at each of the guard members. The decision falls on him yet again.

“Our mission was to gather as much intelligence on Shimura Danzou and his hideout as we can. It’s still our mission even though Danzou is not here anymore,” he says. “Let’s see if we can find anything else in here tomorrow, and if we don’t, we’ll head home the day after that. Agreed?”

“Yes, sir!” the guard members shout in unison just to mess with Sasuke, exaggerating the formality as much as they can. Hare salutes him with a grin on his face. Sasuke finds enough humour in himself to roll his eyes at them.

“At ease,” he teases back.

As the ANBUs indulge themselves in a moment of jokes and general goofing off, Sasuke eyes the wall they will have to scale up if they want to return to the campsite on the ground level. The noon had long since passed when they arrived at the shack village, and by now they have lost hours in the darkness of the cavern. Sasuke, for one, is ready to retire for the night, and spending the night in the forest sounds far better than camping here inside the cave. But for that to happen, Sasuke will have to trust his chakra to get him up there.

“Let’s camp outside, shall we?” Lion voices Sasuke’s thoughts out loud. Around him, the others look just as eager to get into the fresh air of the outside world – Otter is fidgeting, and Owl keeps stealing not-so-subtle glances towards the square of light high above them.

At Sasuke’s nod, they all spring into action. The ANBUs waste no time, and soon they are either climbing up the high wall or jumping from one wall to the other to get to the hatch door, their chakra signatures strong and sure flares of energy.

After the last one of his teammates disappears into the night outside, it is Sasuke’s turn.

He was in no hurry to test his chakra with his team keeping an eye on him. Now he has the chance to fail in peace without nobody seeing him.

Just like years ago, he takes a running start. He gathers his chakra at the soles of his feet – his power is there, trustworthy like always – and once his feet hit the wall, he guides his speed to take him upwards. It is just like when they were climbing trees as genins, every step needs his attention and focus, and every second he might slip and fall down to the ground dozens of feet below him.

Somehow imagining a tiny, snot-nosed genin Naruto running next to him helps.

It’s a relief to grab the edge of the hatch and pull himself up, even when there seemed to be no hiccups with his chakra this time.

As Sasuke dusts off his clothes and gets on his feet, the setting sun warms his back, and despite the fact that practically everything that could go wrong in his life has very much done so, it still feels like getting out of the dark and damp cave made somehow everything slightly better.

 

o0o

__  
  


The next day, it starts to rain. The high trees of the forest sway in the cruel winds that blow over the area, and the cold rainwater floods down through the hole at the back of the Danzou’s abandoned camp. Sasuke and his team search through the tunnel complex with water sloshing at their feet, their feet wet up to their ankles. Someone brings up the possibility of sending a message to Konoha to let them know they will be late, but the heavily pouring rain dwarfs any ideas about sending a flying summon animal anywhere.

The cave reveals nothing they didn’t know already, and Sasuke, worried about his chakra, is almost happy to give the order to head back home. After studying their maps and recalling the position of the stars of the nights when the sky was clear, they have an estimate of where they are and where they should be travelling to get home.

Outside, the weather has only gone from bad to worse, and when their small group takes a heading towards Konoha, they are both late and stuck in a storm.

The rain keeps coming down, pounding hard on them and drenching them down to the bone. The rainfall is so harsh that they can barely see anything through the grey wall of water. Winds push against their faces and make every step a struggle. Sasuke’s wet clothes are heavy, and his soggy hair keeps getting into his eyes. His toes are cold, and his legs have started to protest against all the running and rushing he has been doing for the last week. His teammates look just as miserable as he feels, soaked and gloomy.

The low visibility slows them down, and Sasuke is almost grateful for that. His chakra obeys when he speeds his steps to keep up with the others as they journey through the forests, but he doesn’t push himself to the limit like he did on the way here. All in all, they are travelling slower than last time, slower than they should be, and Sasuke doubts that they will make it to Konoha in the next couple of days – three or four sounds more like it.

And just as he predicted, on the third day of the journey back they are still on the road. They have been on this mission for eleven days, when they were supposed to be back in a week. That day the rain finally stops, but their problems don’t end there.

The air around them smells like death at the swamp they are supposed to cross. Sasuke looks at the swamp, large and foul and covered in fog, and swears out loud. Besides him, Hare joins him with far more imaginative curse words.

The swamp steals a day from them – they almost lost Otter too when she steps in a wrong place and dives right under the murky water – and they don’t see the lights of Konoha until the sun is already painting the sky red and they have been away from home for twelve days.

It is one of the rare times Sasuke is actually delighted to see the high walls of the village – it doesn’t matter that he is walking right back to being under the watchful eyes of the Elders, he needs to see Tsunade.

But he has to report to his Hokage first.

Sasuke glances at his teammates. They are all tired and miserable and ready to go home, and they aren’t necessarily needed for the official mission report. And one time of the whole team witnessing him fighting with Kakashi was enough, Sasuke really doesn’t want to have another go.

“You guys can go, I’ll handle the report myself,” he says as they walk through the gates and wave at the guards. Even though it’s late and the office hours should be over already, there is light in the windows of the Hokage’s office when Sasuke spies the Tower in the distance. His team members make expected remarks about coming with him, Lion being the loudest one, but when Sasuke tells them to let it be and go home, they seem grateful and don’t fight the issue.

The Hokage Tower is calmer than usual, but there are still people dashing around in the hallways. There isn’t a quiet moment when you’re running a hidden village, and there is always some paperwork to be filled. So, it is no wonder that there are still some chuunins and jounins waiting in line in front of the Hokage’s office, herded by the familiar secretary.

The easily-scared desk clerk takes one look at Sasuke’s ANBU gear and lets him past the queue of shinobis to go to report to the Sixth. Sasuke slips through the door and slams it shut in the face of a protesting chuunin who is yelling something about stuck-up, privileged ANBUs.

Sasuke turns from scowling at the door towards the Hokage’s desk and takes off his mask in time to see the wide-eyed stare Kakashi gives him.

Kakashi is sitting at his desk, looking straight at Sasuke, and not blinking. His uniform is impeccable, but there are dark circles under his eyes and lines on his face that weren’t there the last time Sasuke saw him.

Sasuke stares back, his hand still resting on the door handle. He holds his muddied mask awkwardly in his other hand, his sweaty hair is latched all over his eyes and forehead, and the gash on his cheek is red against all the swamp dirt on his face.

Kakashi has yet to look away.

Sasuke opens his mouth, thinks better of it and bites his lip, lowering his gaze from Kakashi to his own mud-filled shoes that will probably leave stains on the floor. He clenches his hand into a fist. This was a mistake, wasn’t it?

By the time Sasuke dares to glance up again, Kakashi has caught himself, squared his shoulders and regained his usual composure. He glances through the report he was reading when Sasuke came in, puts it away and considers Sasuke again.

“You’re late.”

Sasuke nearly frowns at the disapproving tone. Kakashi’s disappointment has always had a sting to it, but when he is staring at Sasuke from the other side of the room with the Hokage’s desk between them like a barricade and berating him in a rough voice, it has a new bite to it.

Especially when Kakashi is right. Sasuke is the leader of the guard, it was his decision to continue on when they should have turned home, and so the blame is his as well.

“The hideout wasn’t where the ANBU had sensed the chakra signature. We found a new lead, but we lost days to following it,” Sasuke answers and leaves the door to come stand in front of the desk. “The weather – and a swamp – kept us on the way back. We couldn’t send a message because of the storm.”

“Your team wasn’t in any danger then? You weren’t harmed?”

_My_ _chakra vanished. It_ hurt _. I don’t know what’s happening to me._

“No.”

Kakashi leans his chin on his hand, his fingers curled into a loose fist. He closes his eyes and nods tightly. His shoulders sag. Then he sighs and opens his tired eyes to look at Sasuke again.

“And the hideout? Danzou, did you find him?”

“The camp was empty. Abandoned. A group of bounty hunters had come after them,” Sasuke says. “We were too late.”

Kakashi blinks, then frowns. He slumps back on his chair to lean against the backrest and presses one hand to his forehead.

“Ah, that can’t be helped then,” he says and massages his brow. “You didn’t happen to find any clues of where they might have gone?”

Sasuke shakes his head. He fumbles with his mask, rubs dirt off it with his fingernail.

“Of course you didn’t, because that would be far too easy,” Kakashi groans and leans even more back. The backrest of his chair screeches with the motion. “I’ll send scouts to look for them.”

Sasuke doesn’t offer any answers to that. He stands in silence with his arms awkwardly hanging at his side, clutching his mask in one hand.

The chair screeches again when Kakashi straightens himself and leans his elbows on the desk.

“Well, run me through the mission then,” he says, almost exasperatedly, and motions with his hand to get Sasuke started.

And Sasuke complies. He tells Kakashi of their journey and the hideout just as any of Kakashi’s ANBU captains would, objectively and monotonously, providing further details and explanations when his Hokage asks for them. Kakashi doesn’t comment on Sasuke’s decision to keep looking when they should already have turned back, but Sasuke sees how Kakashi’s eyes darken when he counts the days from the morning the team left to the moment they reached their first destination, and realises how reckless Sasuke was with his pace. Just like Kakashi knew Sasuke would be.

But while Sasuke describes the large hall he found inside the cavern, he doesn’t mention what happened there with his chakra. What happened to him didn’t jeopardise the mission, it isn’t relevant, and Sasuke wants to tell about his chakra to Kakashi, not the cold, aloof Hokage in front of him.

When Sasuke finishes his report, Kakashi produces a map from the piles of paper floating on his desk.

“Where was the hideout? I’ll have someone check it out in case you missed something.”

Sasuke steps closer to study the map Kakashi spreads on the desk. After a moment of studying the map, Sasuke finds the location where the ANBU had sensed something, and from there he tries to place the cavern complex. He draws the route they travelled on the paper with his fingertips, Kakashi watching intently, and taps the large hill that has been marked on the map.

“Here.”

Kakashi stands up to take a look. Sasuke spins the map around to let him see better and leans his hip against the edge of the desk. He points out the locations of the shack village and the hole that leads into the massive cave below. Only the hill has been drawn on the map, there are no signs of the tunnels or any underground rivers. But the hill is closer to Konoha than Sasuke had thought – the swamp and the storm slowed them down far more than they realised. If they had steered clear from the swamp on a sunny weather, they might have made the trip in two days, if not less. Sasuke clicks his tongue at that discovery and straightens himself to sneer at the map.

Kakashi’s shoulder brushes his.

Sasuke glances at Kakashi, surprised, but Kakashi doesn’t seemed to have registered the touch. His narrowed eyes are focused on the path Sasuke showed him – he is calculating the distances, the size of the cave, and how many men he should send to search the hideout, and pays no mind to Sasuke. Sasuke forces himself to look away and return his attention on the map in front of them.

Kakashi’s hair is messier than usual. Sasuke watches as white hairs fall over Kakashi’s eyes and realises only then that his eyes have gravitated towards his Hokage again. He mentally kicks himself over the head but continues to steal glances at Kakashi through his lashes anyway, though more subtly this time. Kakashi keeps brushing his hair away from his face, but after each time he does so, it doesn’t take long before his hair is on his face again.

Kakashi’s brow furrows as he thinks, his fingers tap against the desk, and he doesn’t notice it when another lock of his hair fall on his face. Sasuke nearly reaches over and brushes it away. It wouldn’t be the first time he has done that, and a few weeks ago he wouldn’t even have hesitated. But now he tucks his hand at his side instead, then slips it into the pockets of his trousers, and clenches it into a fist.

Kakashi takes one last look at the map before putting it away. Sasuke steps away from the desk to a more respectful distance and finds himself standing at attention.

When Kakashi turns to him again, his eyes meet Sasuke’s. Sasuke opens his mouth to say something, anything – to apologise, to tell Kakashi about his chakra, to ask him to come with to see Tsunade because he doesn’t want to deal with this alone – but Kakashi doesn’t give him the chance.

“If that’s all, you may go. Send the next one in line in,” he says and starts to fish the files he put away earlier from the stacks of paper and coffee cups.

Sasuke forgets himself to staring at him with his lips parted for a few seconds before the words really register.

“Yes, sir,” he says quietly, bows, and walks out.

 

o0o

 

Sasuke storms to the office floor in the ANBU headquarters. Usually there isn’t anybody there at such a late hour, but today, perhaps in imitation of the improved work ethics of the Hokage Tower, there are a few clerks working overtime. The dark floor is lit only by a few lamps, and it is hard to see past the large cabinets and desks which have been stacked right next to each other and make the space a very bad place for a claustrophobic, but luckily for Sasuke, he spots the clerk he is after almost right away.

The clerk notices him looming over his tiny workspace considerably soon.

“Uchiha-san – !”

“What did my test results show? What did you want to tell me?” Sasuke asks and doesn’t care that he scares the hell out of the other office workers as well.

The clerk stammers incomprehensibly for a while and rummages through his papers before holding one up to Sasuke.

“They are waiting you at the hospital, sir. Our medic wrote you a referral for further examinations and – “

Sasuke snatches the document from the clerk. He glares at it and tries to understand the text filled with medical terms and complex legal language, but the words keep mushing together as his heart pounds in his chest. There are mentions of his chakra and the chakra pathways, but that is all he can make out of the text.

“What does this mean?” he asks – growls – and looks at the clerk.

“I don’t know, sir, I’m not a medic. But I’m sure they can help you at the hospital…”

Sasuke narrows his eyes at the stuttering clerk and glances at the paper in his hands again. He has rumpled the document, it’s crinkled and wrinkly. Sasuke mumbles something resembling “thanks”, though only the latter half of the word is audible, then he spins around and marches out.

Once Sasuke gets to the hospital and the reception desk, the nurses take one look at him, his ANBU uniform, and the mask on his face before they whisk him off to an examination room. It’s an empty, windowless room with tiling on the walls and an examination table in the middle of the floor. Sasuke is told to sit on the table and wait till somebody comes to take a look at him.

The door slams shut after the nurse, and Sasuke is left to his own devices. He takes off his ANBU mask and lets it rest on his lap. He removes the armour plates from his arms and tugs off his long gloves. His hair is a mess after almost two weeks of travelling – he lost his tie two days into the journey – and he really doesn’t want to know how bad he smells right now.

The machines in the room hum in the background. On the other side of the door, in the hallways, people rush past the room, nurses talk among themselves, doctors shout their advice, but their voices are muffled, and none of them slows down to enter Sasuke’s room.

Sasuke fishes the paper from his pocket and unfolds it. He can’t make any more out of it now than he did last time, but he still keeps checking it over and over again. There is a sick feeling in his stomach and it’s like there is something stuck in his throat. The paper sways in his shaking hands.

Sasuke wishes that the medic would just come already. Or that they never come. He doesn’t want to know what is wrong with him – having a name for it makes it real. He doesn’t want anything to be wrong with him.

He forces himself to calm down. It’s not worth to start panicking now when he doesn’t know what is going on. The medic will tell him what is wrong, and he can worry about it then. He just has to think about something else.

Guess he has to dump any hopes he had of fixing the situation with Kakashi.

Sasuke was in the same room with him, and still it felt like Kakashi was miles away. It was as if Sasuke couldn’t reach him. At least they didn’t start fighting again, but maybe he had hoped that once he got back, Kakashi would have forgiven him and Sasuke could forgive him and they could be like they were before all this happened.

But obviously that is not the case right now. Kakashi treated him like a subordinate and nothing more, and isn’t that what Sasuke is to him now?

Sasuke kicks the leg of the table.

The voices in the hallway get louder and several sets of footsteps approach the room. Tsunade’s “Where is he?” is loud even through the door.

There is a muffled reply from probably one of the nurses, but before she can finish, Tsunade opens the door. She is holding a file in her hands, her white coat is pristine, and her eyes are dark when she closes the door behind herself and shuts out the herd of nurses.

She turns to look at him with a wrinkled brow and clicks her tongue.

“Kid, kid, kid, what have you got yourself into now?” she says and shakes her head when Sasuke meets her gaze. Her tone is exasperated, almost scolding, but her eyes are sad.

Sasuke swallows hard.

“Something happened with your chakra,” Tsunade states as if she already knows what Sasuke is going to tell her, and lifts the first paper on the clipboard to study his information.

“It vanished,” Sasuke answers, slowly and quietly, and makes sure his voice is steady because he knows his eyes are wide. His hands are cold.

Tsunade nods at his answer, flips through the papers and puts the clipboard away with a sigh.

“Did it come back?”

“After a few minutes,” Sasuke answers and searches her face for any clues of her thoughts. “When my chakra disappeared, it hurt. Seriously hurt. And I... coughed up blood.”

Tsunade crosses her arms over her chest and leans her hip against the examination table. Her brows are furrowed, and her frown deepens when Sasuke continues.

 “What did my test results show?”

Tsunade presses her lips together before walking over to him. Instead of answering him right away, she asks him to take off the rest of his armour and his shirt. Once Tsunade has her hands glowing green on Sasuke’s bare chest, she starts talking again.

“There were signs of your ability to produce chakra weakening,” she says in a level, serious voice, her attention focused on the examination. “There were also clear signs of damage in your chakra pathways. As if they had been burned.”

Tsunade’s hands move over Sasuke’s chest. She presses them hard against different areas on his ribcage and abdomen, hard enough to hurt and make Sasuke want to squirm away from her touch. But what she just said has him chained on the spot.

“Burned?” he croaks eventually, his voice so rough and weak he barely hears himself.

Now Tsunade glances up at him long enough to meet his eyes.

“I don’t know why yet. There are many possible causes for that kind of damage, but I can feel that – ah, yes,” she exclaims and stops her hands to hover over his stomach. Then she moves her hands up again, towards his chest and neck. “And here. And here. And – “

She hasn’t really answered him yet.

“But what does it mean that they have been burned?” Sasuke asks before Tsunade can point out any more spots on his body.

“I’m not certain yet, especially since I wasn’t the one doing the initial examination, but as I study your chakra system now… Your chakra pathways have been scorched by something. The cells of the pathways have been destroyed, and so some of pathways of your chakra has been cut off. Imagine a wooden bridge that someone has set alight.”

“But how? Why?”

“I don’t know,” Tsunade answers and starts to move her hands down his arms. “The damage wasn’t that bad in the results, but as I am studying your chakra system now, I can sense it has got worse.

“I’m not entirely sure whether I want to know.”

“The whole system has been affected, it’s not just the pathways – your ability to produce chakra is weakening, like I said. Your entire body produces the energy for chakra, as you surely remember from your academy classes, but now there is something off with that too, and I have no idea what.”

Tsunade frowns.

“My guess is that this has happened slowly, over time. You had your check-ups last winter, didn’t you? I have to check the records of those, but why do I recall you saying that the nurses didn’t find anything unusual?”

“That’s what they said.”

Tsunade hums.

“This could have started out really small, maybe it didn’t show then yet. Or then something happened after the check-ups.”

Tsunade moves her hands over his body, again from his chest to his stomach and then to his throat, and down his arms and legs. When she is examining his head, Sasuke can’t keep himself from asking out loud:

“Do you remember when I told you about the seal one of Danzou’s henchmen placed on me last summer? That we thought had failed? Do you think it could be what’s causing this?”

Tsunade moves her hands to his forehead and chin, tilts Sasuke’s head backwards and peers into his eyes.

“We would be fools to rule that out now. You had problems with your chakra after that, I wrote them off as after effects of Kakashi’s seal, but they might have been part of this problem all along. An unknown jutsu that seemingly had no effect feels like a possible guilty party right now, though I have never encountered anything that would cause anything like this, especially only after such a long time.”

Sasuke sits there and focuses on breathing.

“There was a hereditary disease common to the people of your clan, wasn’t there?” Tsunade asks when she lets go of his chin and almost causes Sasuke’s heart to stop. “If memory serves, it had to do with organ failure and heart problems. I don’t want to scare you, but I remember treating your grandmother because of that. It’s a terminal disease, I’m afraid.”

“I think Itachi might have had it too.”

Tsunade stops for a second too long to pretend that she didn’t, then she regains the calm front she has had until now.

“I’ll have a look into that too then. You can never be too certain with these things. Chakra system is deeply linked to rest of the body, and I don’t like what’s happening with yours right now. Coughing up blood is never a good sign,” Tsunade says and grabs the clipboard to write her notes down. “You mentioned your eyes itching before your episode. I have found a reason for that. The chakra pathways that support your sharingan are more badly damaged than the rest of the chakra system. A considerable number of the connection have been broken, and your body struggles to feed chakra to the sharingan. You were using it right before your chakra vanished, weren’t you?”

“Does that mean I might lose the sharingan?” Sasuke asks, his heart in his throat.

“If we can’t stop whatever is causing the damage… It’s a possibility. We caught up with this late – I don’t know what you have been doing, and nobody deigned to inform me of your results until today, but you should have been sitting there a month ago,” Tsunade says and shakes her head. “Oh well. You have to keep in mind that it is possible, if not probable, that your chakra pathways get so damaged – or your ability to produce chakra altogether weakens so much – that you can’t use your chakra at all.”

A fast, violent pounding fills Sasuke’s ears. His sharingan. His chakra. He can’t be a ninja. He will lose his chakra. He can’t focus on anything – he sees Tsunade’s mouth moving but he can’t understand the words.

“ – it would be best that you take it slow until we know what is going on. I examined your lungs, but I can’t say anything definite yet about them or the blood. There is something off about them, but I need to run a lot of tests and do some research before I diagnose you any further,” she says and studies Sasuke with a critical eye. “So, it’s out of the active duty with you. I can’t allow you to take any missions until I know you’re not going to drop dead the second I turn my back. Avoid any stressful situations too – stress activates your chakra system, and I would like it to be as dormant as you can keep it. In general, use as little chakra as you can.”

Sasuke nods stiffly and tries not to vomit on the floor. His fingers curl around the metal structure of the bed – the metal is cold and smooth against his skin and anchors him down.

“I’ll get back to you as soon as I know something. And I want you to come back for a check-up in a few days. I want to see how fast your condition progresses,” she says and adds last additions to her papers.

Sasuke stares at the floor. It gleams in the light of the old fluorescent lamps. His still damp shoes drip water on it, there is a small puddle underneath the table.

“Kid. Hey, kid, look at me.”

Sasuke turns his head slowly to look at Tsunade with glassy eyes, and his messy hair falls all over his face. There is a worried look on hers.

“Are you going to be alright? Do you want me to send for someone to come to take you home?”

“No, I’m fine, I don’t need – “

“Do you at least have someone you can talk about this with? This is a serious matter, and I don’t like the idea of you being alone with your thoughts. I know Sakura has a shift tonight, so she can’t keep you company, but Naruto’s in the village, I saw him with his genin brats this morning. And I could ask if somebody could go fetch Kakashi – “

“ _No_.”

Tsunade considers him for a second, clearly confused, then –

“Oh, come on, Uchiha, you can’t tell me that you have pissed him off too!”

Sasuke looks away from her and scowls behind the cover of his bangs.

”It’s none of your business,” he mutters and gives Tsunade a dirty look when she keeps pressing him about the matter.

”It’s my damn business when my successor has been a workaholic bastard with a stick shoved up his ass for the last week because of your issues,” Tsunade growls. “I’m not sure whether I really want to know what is going on in that little pretty head of yours, but do you actually _want_ your old team to be mad at you?”

”It’s not – _what?_ ” Sasuke stops and turns his head to look at her so quickly something snaps in his neck.

”Oh yes, your _sweetheart_ has been a massive pain in the ass lately. Sure, he gets his job done and is so annoyingly professional while he is at it, but make the mistake of trying to drag him away from his precious paperwork and ten cups of black coffee and you get a good mouthful of _I’m fine, leave me alone_ and _There is nothing wrong with me_ ,” Tsunade scoffs. “Well, at least this explains why he looks like a hunted animal nowadays. I swear he has finished more paperwork in a fortnight than I did during my whole time as the Hokage.”

Tsunade takes another look at Sasuke. Her long ponytails fall over her shoulders, and she twirls lock of her hair around her finger.

”I vividly remember throwing you bodily out of my archives not that long ago for the same behaviour. You two are more alike than is healthy,” she states and rolls her eyes at Sasuke. “But seriously, kid. It’s not good for you to be alone tonight, and I’m sure that he’ll come to pick you up if he hears what’s going on.”

”No.”

”Don’t be an idiot, Uchiha. Nobody should be alone after hearing news like this, and I’m sure that our dear Hokage is the most probable candidate to be found on your emergency contact list. He would want to know – ”

”He obviously wanted nothing to do with me an hour ago when I was trying to fucking talk to him, so I doubt that he wants to deal with this shit now,” Sasuke sneers and almost spits the words out of his mouth. Getting riled up over this is so much easier than dealing with the fact there is basically a death sentence hanging over his head.

Tsunade’s response to his fit is to give him a hard look and a raised eyebrow.

”I’m starting to think that you don’t know him at all,” she says and straightens her white coat. “What a spoiled brat you turned out to be after all.”

“I can scream at you too, don’t push your luck.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Uchiha! Don’t sit there and mope, you’re doing nothing but scaring my nurses. Go after him! Go to his place, apologise, and tell him what is going on, because I sure as hell won’t have you here bothering me for the rest of the night.”

“ _Don’t tell me_ – “

“Oh, don’t even start with me. Kid, there are only two outcomes in this, the good one, and the one where he throws you out. You won’t know which one it is until you try. If he throws you out, then he does, he has the right to do that. And at least then you know where you guys stand,” Tsunade says and pinches the bridge of her nose. She would probably throw something at him if she had anything in hand’s reach. “Honestly, I’m too old for this.”

Sasuke sneers at her, hops off the examination table, and tugs his shirt and armour back on while trying to glare daggers at her at the same time.

“Don’t act so offended, brat. You know I’m right.”

Sasuke puts on his ANBU mask and scowls at her from its safety.

“Don’t glare at me when I can’t see your face,” Tsunade says as she walks to the door. “Someone is going to come to take your blood and test you for all the usual stuff, so don’t go anywhere. I’ll send you a message as soon I find out something. And remember, no missions or I’ll have your head, and a check-up in a few days.”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Oh, fuck off, kid.”


	34. Fear of Drowning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is easily the most challenging one I have ever had to write. It took me a couple of existential crises, an affair with another fandom, and at least four or five rewrites to get it done, so you'd better like it because I'm not rewriting it for the sixth time.
> 
> Thank you so much for over 600 kudos, I have no words.

 

 _The 13th of July, the fifth year of peace_ _  
_Konoha, the Land of Fire__

Nobody notices him when he sneaks through the deserted floors of the Hokage Tower and slips into the corridor that takes him to the east wing.

The late hour of the night has nearly emptied the building – there are only a handful of guards patrolling the hallways during the nights. Sasuke, as the head of the Hokage’s security detail, knows the schedules of them all, and it is easy for him to avoid their usual routes and duck into the shadows the few times he comes across a pair of shinobis in the dimly lit corridors. He slips past the guards without them knowing he was ever there.

The top floor of the east wing, quiet and dark, is off-limits to visitors during this time of the night – unless the visitors wear the marks of the Hokage’s personal guard on their uniform. Sasuke tugs the sleeve of his glove, straightening the fabric so the marks are visible, but keeps his strides fast and soundless, and his eyes and ears open. While his Robin mask grants him access to the Hokage’s private residence and gives him every right to be here, he doesn’t want anyone’s eyes on him tonight. He has no way of knowing who among the Leaf forces are loyal to the Elders, but he is well aware of the fact that the old bastards know his codename and the design on his mask. If Sasuke is seen here, he has to consider the very likely possibility that a word about it gets back to the Elders.

Sasuke’s steps slow down when the entrance of the residence comes into view. His fingers curl around the key in his pocket, and he stops in front of the door. The jagged metal scrapes his palm through his gloves, which only makes him squeeze tighter.

He removes his mask and rubs his forehead. There is a buzz of a headache drumming behind his eyes. That and Tsunade’s warnings about using his chakra make him wonder how much damage the hard journey back to Konoha did to his chakra system – he had to rely on his chakra so he could keep up with his team, and in hindsight, that might not have been one of his brightest ideas. Sasuke wouldn’t really like to keel over in the restricted hallways and vomit on some poor guard’s shoes when they come to drag him out for trespassing.

The front door of the residence demands his attention again. Sasuke closes his eyes so he won’t have to face it and make a decision. It might already be too late for this. He wasted hours at the hospital after Tsunade left – there had been some kind of an emergency, all the nurses had been called to help, and Sasuke had had to wait for ages before anyone had the time to come to run tests him.

Now he is tired and hungry and would kill for a shower and a bed, but somehow his feet have led him here instead of home.

Sasuke squares his shoulders, considers the key in his tightly clenched fist, and raises a hand to knock instead.

There is only half an inch between his knuckles and the door when he stops. He curls his fingers slowly into a fist and presses his chapped lips together.

A cacophony of barks and howls bursts into life on the other side of the door.

Eight set of paws rush to the hall inside, and the door slams against its hinges as the dogs jump and stand up against it. Sasuke hangs his head in defeat but can’t stop the chuckle that escapes his lips. He should have known that the pack would let the whole building know he is home.

There is no escaping this now. Sasuke sighs, gives in and taps his knuckles against the wooden door, which only sets the dogs off worse. There is the high-pitched yapping of the small ones, the tone-deaf howling of the rest of the company, and when Bull joins the choir with its deep barks, Sasuke contemplates covering his ears.

A few ridiculously noisy seconds later, the door opens and a tidal wave of dogs of varying sizes washes over Sasuke.

There are eight dogs running circles around him, jumping and barking and begging for his attention, and Sasuke runs out of hands the second he bends down to pet them.

“Hi, guys,” he whispers under his breath as he scratches Bull behind its ears with one hand and lets Akino lick the other. Bisuke, Urushi and Shiba are jumping against his legs, tails wagging furiously. “Missed me?”

The welcome he gets when he lifts his gaze to meet Kakashi’s isn’t quite as enthusiastic. Kakashi is watching him and the dogs while leaning his side against the doorframe, one hand still resting on the door handle. The old t-shirt he is wearing has been washed so many times that the colour has faded away, it matches the shade under his eyes. He must have guessed it was Sasuke behind the door as he hasn’t bothered to hide his face.

Sasuke can’t still read his expression.

One of the dogs leans on Sasuke’s leg and a cold snout bumps against his hand. Sasuke glances down to see Shiba wagging its tail at him. Grateful of the support, he buries his fingers into the dog’s fur and looks up at Kakashi again.

“Can I come in?”

Kakashi’s face remains blank when he steps aside and opens the door wider. A couple of the dogs run back inside before Sasuke has the time to comprehend he has been invited in. The ninkens hop around and rush back and forth in the hall, making a horrible racket while they are it. They are loud enough that Kakashi snaps and tells them to be quiet as he ushers the rest of the pack inside.

Sasuke’s chest heaves with a final deep breath before he walks in past Kakashi. He doesn’t go far, he stops once he is inside, and waits for Kakashi to shut the door behind them. It takes conscious effort to stop himself from just dumping his weapons and mask and armour on the coat rack and kicking off his shoes like he usually does when he gets here. Now he stands there, in his dirty ANBU uniform, like a guest who doesn’t know where to put his things.

Sasuke’s fingers find the Robin mask resting against his thigh. He has been too careless with it lately – there is a crack on it, a thin line running from the right eyehole to the tip of the birdlike beak. It is faint enough that his eyes easily miss it, but his fingers don’t, and that’s how he noticed it, at the hospital with too much time at his hands and nothing else to do but to fidget and run his fingers over the smooth porcelain.

Kakashi is still standing at the door, as far from Sasuke as he can be in the narrow space. He is subtle about it, but he is distancing himself from Sasuke, in a way that can’t be countered by the familiarity of the faint stubble on his chin or the tangles in his hair. His feet might be bare and his posture slouched, but his eyes are sharp and guarded when he watches Sasuke.

Somehow, Sasuke feels overdressed in his dirty uniform.

He crosses his arms over his chest, unintentionally mimicking Kakashi, and jerks his chin up because it’s always easier to do something when he pretends to be more confident about it than he truly is. The rattle the dogs make as they fool around on the other side of the residence fills the silence between the two of them.

“Is it the Hokage you came to see?” Kakashi asks, his voice quiet and raspy, and nods towards Sasuke’s ANBU uniform. “Or me?”

“You.”

Sasuke holds Kakashi’s gaze and Kakashi doesn’t look away. He still has his arms crossed over his chest, but his tense shoulders relax slightly after Sasuke’s answer.

“We need to talk,” Sasuke continues and tries to hold on to the momentum that got him this far, even if it makes him sound demanding. He won’t pretend that they are nothing to each other, he doesn’t have the patience for it.

Kakashi raises a hand to massage his neck, tilts his head to the side, and considers Sasuke with exhausted eyes.

“We do,” he agrees and gives up on the indifference he clung on to so tightly back at the office. His face is an odd mixture of relief and tension and annoyance, but Sasuke will take any emotion he can get out of him.

Kakashi gives a onceover to Sasuke’s muddied clothes and slimy hair that has latched on to his forehead.

“You haven’t been home since you left the office, have you?” he sighs, closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, not surprised. His scar stands out from his tired face, harsher and uglier than Sasuke remembers it, marring the left side of his face.

Kakashi presses the hand against his forehead, mussing his grey hair, and flutters his eyes open like a cat, with long and slow blinks. Pale eyelashes flicker against his cheeks, and contrast with the blood red of his left eye. The sharingan is slower to focus on Sasuke than the dark eye, the tomoes spin sluggishly before zeroing on Sasuke.

There is something in his gaze reminiscent of the tenderness he used to regard Sasuke with, but when Kakashi takes a few steps away from the door and extends a hand towards Sasuke to get him hand over his sword, Sasuke doesn’t dare to trust what his instincts are telling him. He lays a hand on the hilt of his katana, wary, and watches Kakashi in silence.

Kakashi gestures for the sword again.

 “I don’t think either of us wants to have that conversation here,” he says and looks as tired of fighting as Sasuke feels. “Go have a shower first, we’ll talk after that.”

Kakashi wraps his fingers around the sheath of Sasuke’s sword, his motions careful and slow and delicate as if he was scared of breaking the sword, and pulls slightly until Sasuke lets go and lets him take the blade from his grasp.

Sasuke meets Kakashi’s eyes for a heartbeat before looking away. He manages one stiff nod, his gaze fixed to the wall, and turns his back to Kakashi. He hangs his mask on the coat rack, steps out of his shoes and heads to the bathroom.

Once the door closes behind him, Sasuke removes his armour, piece by piece. He peels off the long gloves, the undershirt of his armour and the dark, thick trousers, all of which have stuck to his skin with blood and sweat and rainwater. He lets the rest of his clothes slip off him and fall softly on the floor. He pulls the tie holding his hair up – he borrowed it from one of the nurses at the hospital – and the coarse ends of his hair sway over the cool skin on his neck and shoulders.

Sasuke steps into the shower and turns the water temperature to scalding hot.

The boiling water washes away all the mud and sweat and old tears. The blood stains Sasuke never really got off dissolve into the water and disappear down the drain. His sore muscles melt, and all the tension leaves his body as the blistering water runs down his spine. When the physical fatigue of the mission and the much deeper exhaustion born from the primitive fear of dying hit, Sasuke has to lay one hand against the tile wall to keep himself upright.

Sasuke watches the water pooling around his feet, swirling in a whirlpool, first brown and grey, then slowly clearer and clearer. He focuses on the water and forces himself to recall the physics behind the whirlpool phenomenon to keep his thoughts away from the hospital and his chakra and Tsunade’s face when he told her Itachi had been ill. His eyes itch as if he had tears to be cried left, but his mind is empty and blank.

The bathroom door opens and closes after a quick knock. Kakashi is a blurry figure through the milky glass of the shower wall as he walks across the room.

“I brought you clothes,” he calls out. Sasuke can’t read much from his tone.

“Thanks.”

Kakashi’s shadow stays in place for a heartbeat, as if waiting for something, then he turns hesitantly around to leave again. His bare feet make no sound on the tile floor.

Cool air from the hallway oozes into the hot and humid bathroom when he opens the door to the hallway.

“Did you – “ Sasuke blurts out the beginning of his question, rushing to stop Kakashi from walking out on him again, but his courage dries out hallway through. His eyes are tightly closed, his fingertips are tingling from the hot water and he regrets the few hasty words he managed to get out immediately. He half-wishes that the roar of the water drowned his voice. 

Behind his back, the door is closed with a quiet thud, and Sasuke tries to tell himself that he is relieved because what would he have said anyway –

“Did I what?”

This time, when Sasuke bites his cheek, it’s completely on accident, and the pain makes specks of colours flash in his eyes.

“Did you, uh – did you already send someone back to the cave?” he asks, struggling to remember how to produce coherent sentences, and rubs the abused of side of his face. He grimaces to himself, glad that his back is to Kakashi.

“Not yet, but I will, first thing tomorrow,” Kakashi answers. Sasuke glances over his shoulders towards the sound of Kakashi’s voice to see him come to stand next to the sink. Kakashi leans his hip against it and slips his hands into his pockets.

“It might be a good idea to have someone keeping an eye on the place for a while. Danzou could be coming back there for all we know,” Sasuke says and lets the water pouring over his head and shoulders hide how his chest heaves with the mention of the cave.

 “Mmh.”

Sasuke turns off the water, slides the shower door open and steps out. The air is cooler in the bathroom than it was in the shower and makes him shiver. He is too tired to try to hide it, and when he takes the towel Kakashi offers him, he has goose bumps and his teeth clatter together.

He is drying his hair when he notices that Kakashi is studying his face with narrowed eyes.

“What is it?”

“I thought you said you didn’t get hurt,” Kakashi comments and points out the place of Sasuke’s wound on his own cheek. His words are short and sharp, but Sasuke isn’t sure whether Kakashi is angry at Sasuke for not telling about the injury, or himself for not noticing it earlier.

Sasuke whips out a hand towards Kakashi to get him to hand over the clothes he brought. Sasuke will much rather focus on getting dressed than all these uncomfortable questions. So, it’s not until he snatches his trousers from Kakashi and starts to tug them on before he deigns to even think of answering.

“That’s because it is from before the mission,” he states without looking at Kakashi and forces his voice to be nonchalant, maybe even arrogant, as if they both don’t know what he is referring to. 

Kakashi knows how to do his math – someone must have reported to him about the mess Sasuke left in the locker room at the ANBU headquarters. It shouldn’t be too difficult for him to figure out exactly how Sasuke got the gash on his face.

Sasuke pulls his shirt on and raises his chin as he meets Kakashi’s gaze defiantly, waiting for him to say something. It is written on his face how much their fight hurt him – the scarring wound puts it far better into words than Sasuke ever could, and now he throws it back in Kakashi’s face.

There is a storm brewing in Kakashi’s eyes when he steps closer, close enough that Sasuke could touch him if he wanted, could rest his fingers on the tender spot between Kakashi’s neck and collarbones and send shivers down his spine.

Sasuke is waiting for his disappointment or a lecture, or even for Kakashi to beg that Sasuke would take better care of himself – he is not ready for it when Kakashi raises his hand and almost cups Sasuke’s cheek and brushes his thumb against the wound.

But Kakashi’s hand freezes in the air between them, hanging there awkwardly, level with Sasuke’s jaw, before clenching into a fist and drawing away. Kakashi hunches his back as he slips his hand back into his pocket, withdraws in all the ways he can without straight up walking away, and the mask of not caring is on its way to take over his face again.

“Don’t do that.”

Only the slight tensing of Kakashi’s shoulders reveals his surprise and confusion at Sasuke’s outburst.

“What?”

“Don’t close yourself off like that,” Sasuke hisses, angry and hasty and not thinking. He stares at Kakashi, his jaw clenched and tight, his eyes narrowed to crinkled slits, and he sounds harsh even to his own ears. “Don’t pretend that this – me, _us_ – doesn’t matter.”

He runs a hand through his hair and makes droplets of water fall on his shirt. He doesn’t really know what to do with his hands, because in truth he just wants to grab Kakashi’s hand or shirt and hold him in place, as if that would make him suddenly understand what Sasuke is trying to say.

“Hell, it was bad enough at the office, I really can’t deal with it _here_ ,” he gnarls. “Don’t. Just don’t.”

It’s only when his fingers tangle on Kakashi’s shirt that Sasuke realises that he really went for it. He stares at his hand, his white knuckles, tightly wrapped around a fistful of grey fabric.

He looks up at Kakashi.

“For fuck’s sake, I’m sorry, alright?” Sasuke growls and tugs Kakashi’s shirt sharply, violently, trying to get him closer and to react. “I’m sorry that I screamed at you. I should have never said what I said, I – hell, I didn’t mean it. Any of it. I would take it all back if I could, but I can’t.”

Kakashi considers him with a blank look on his face.

“That’s not really a way to begin an apology.”

“And that’s not what you’re supposed to answer!” Sasuke shouts. The words come out as more desperate and vulnerable than he meant, and this is not how Sasuke wanted this to go. It’s going all backwards, and though Sasuke is clinging on to Kakashi so tightly his knuckles are white and his hands cramp, Kakashi is still slipping through his fingers.

“What was I supposed to say then?”

“I don’t know!”

“If you don’t have any idea, how was I supposed to?” Kakashi asks, his eyes darkening with each word, but his voice is infuriatingly calm and even and impassive. “Did you really have to do this _now_ , couldn’t you have waited for a better time – “

“There is never a better time!” Sasuke growls back, almost screaming, and his chakra blooms into life in his veins, hot and burning like his anger. “It’s never the right time to apologise. It was only the matter of which one of us would go first, and it was getting pretty damn obvious that you weren’t going to be the one.”

Kakashi narrows his eyes and straightens his back, growing into all his height, and Sasuke always forgets how tall he really is. He looks down at Sasuke and his sharingan is only a red slit, radiating with cold chakra.

“You know what,” Sasuke spats, “right now I’m not sure whether the apology was really worth the effort.”

“Not helping, that one.”

“Oh, don’t act like I’m the only one to be blamed here,” Sasuke hisses, his chin held up high and eyes burning. “You were going to hide the information on Danzou from me when you knew what finding him means to me. You went behind my back and tried to protect me when I had just told you that I didn’t want you to. And I could somehow all let slide, but you pulled rank on me. You can’t do that, you just can’t. Not when the fight was about us and not the village.”

Sasuke forces all emotions out of his face and takes his time to get his voice calm and blank because he needs Kakashi to understand that he means this, that it is not something he says just out of anger.

“The next time it happens, I’ll leave and never come back.”

“I’m not sure whether you are in the position to be threatening that to begin with,” Kakashi drawls slowly, taunting him, but Sasuke sees the serious look that flashes in his eyes.

He doesn’t fall for the provocation, he won’t back down on this, and so he keeps his eyes locked on Kakashi’s, solemn and humourless, and waits in silence. He is still clinging onto Kakashi, but the hold is loose, only there because Sasuke hasn’t remembered to let go.

Kakashi doesn’t look away. He sighs when he realises Sasuke is not going to rise to the bait.

“I admit that I shouldn’t have tried to keep that information from you,” he begins, choosing his words carefully. His eyes are tired – beyond tired, exhausted – and sad, but also determined, and Sasuke doesn’t like his distant tone at all. “Or used my authority against you. It was wrong of me. It won’t happen again.”

He brushes Sasuke’s hand away.

“But since we obviously can’t get along, I think it’s better that you leave now. I have no interest in fighting with you and making this any worse than it already is.”

Before Sasuke can say anything, Kakashi has stepped away from him and is walking towards the door.

“This doesn’t affect your position as the leader of the guard, unless you feel you can’t work with me anymore. I’ll arrange someone to take your place if that is the case,” he states, his back to Sasuke, and it’s purely the Hokage speaking. “If there is nothing else, I assume that you can show yourself out,” is what he says before he steps out and shuts the door behind him.

Sasuke stares the spot where Kakashi was standing just seconds ago, still half-convinced that Kakashi will come back to tell Sasuke that it was just a joke, that of course he didn’t mean it.

But Kakashi doesn’t come back, and this is not how it was supposed to go.

Sasuke draws in a deep, unsteady breath to calm his still raging chakra and realises his hands are shaking. He looks down at his fists, trembling and so white that his veins are a blue map underneath the skin. He has goose bumps all over his arms, fine hairs standing up on his forearms and neck.

_Weak._

Sasuke snaps into action. He puts on the rest of the clothes Kakashi brought him, grateful of the dark, warm hoodie that hides his face, collects his armour and dirty clothes from the bathroom and slips into the hallway. He doesn’t turn on the lights when he gathers his weapons and hunts his shoes from the mess of dog toys on the floor, careful not to make a sound. He stuffs his things in a plastic bag he borrows from the cabinet in the hallway. He will have to come back some other day when he knows Kakashi isn’t home – what he can take with him now isn’t even half of all the clothes and things he has brought here over time.

He can leave the key then as well.

His clothes and weapons fill the bag easily, and his ANBU mask sways dangerously on top of the overflowing bag. Sasuke sighs at the sight of it and takes the mask in his hand, he doesn’t want to drop it when it’s already cracked. Not that he has much use for it anymore – he really doesn’t know if he wants to continue as the leader of the guard after tonight, and when his chakra is what is it right now, that choice has practically been taken away from him already.

Sasuke brushes his thumb over one of the red stripes on his mask. His head aches, and he rubs his stinging eyes angrily, almost violently, and swallows the lump in his throat. Wallowing in self-pity has never done anybody any good and he knows it.

He takes his bag, tucks the ANBU mask under his arm, and after one last look back heads for the door. Since the dogs haven’t galloped here to bid him goodbye, Sasuke has to assume Kakashi has sent them away for the evening.

Sasuke rests his hand on the door handle, takes it back to rub his itching eyes again, and freezes when he realises exactly what he is doing.

His chakra flares without him wanting it to, and then a burning pain erupts inside his skull.

Sasuke’s chakra disappears again, this time flickering away instead of vanishing in an instant, but the fire in his veins is the same. He grabs his head and gasps for breath, all the while chanting that this can’t be happening, not now, not here, not when Kakashi might still hear him. _If he had only got out first_ –

A paralysing spasm runs through his body. His knees give out. The Robin mask falls.

The _crash_ of the mask smashing on the floor and shattering into pieces is loud. His groan of pain is quieter. The shards of the mask dig into Sasuke’s legs as he withers on the floor, holding a hand to his mouth to keep himself quiet. He curls on himself and hides his face in his hands, in too much pain to do anything else, even though his mind he is screaming at himself to stand up, to get on his feet and out of the door, _just get up for fuck’s sake_ –

He grits his teeth together and forces himself to get up from the floor. He won’t be a pitiful sobbing mess on the floor, damn it.

Sasuke manages to pull himself up, crouched unsteadily on one knee. He supports himself on his wobbly arms he has planted the floor, fighting off the pain that makes his chest feel like his ribcage will collapse on itself. The lack of chakra makes his limbs feels so heavy, his head weighs a ton, and there is no way he can get up like this.

Footsteps. Hesitant, careful footsteps approach from the other side of the residence.

Sasuke hides his face behind the hood and his hair and reaches for the chakra he doesn’t have. It’s a dangerous gamble but he has his pride. He reaches for his chakra, forces it out, demands it from his fatigued body, and guides the little power he manages to claw and scrape out into his legs and arms.

He gets both of his feet under himself before his lungs are set on fire and he wants to gauge his eyes out. The chakra he tore out flickers into nothing, and Sasuke crashes back on the floor, his hands clasped over his eyes, his nails digging into his forehead, and this time he would whine and sob if he could get a sound out.

Then Kakashi is there.

He lands on his knees in front of Sasuke, so fast that it has to hurt, grabs his wrists and pulls Sasuke’s hands away from his face to get Sasuke to look at him.

“What is going on?” Kakashi asks, harsh and direct, and tries futilely to look Sasuke in the eye – Sasuke scrunches his eyes closed and angles his face to the side, away from Kakashi so that his hair hides his grimace of pain. Kakashi’s grip on him is hard, strong and unmoving, but before Sasuke turned away, he could see how wide and worried Kakashi’s eyes were.

Kakashi doesn’t let him have his privacy – he grabs Sasuke’s chin and turns him back towards himself.

“What happened?”

Sasuke just shakes his head the little he can in Kakashi’s hold, but he lets Kakashi lean in to study his eyes. Kakashi is quick to turn his attention to running his gaze up and down Sasuke’s body when Sasuke’s red-rimmed reveal nothing of what is wrong. He lifts Sasuke’s shirt to look for seals or injuries he might have missed, his hands quick and familiar on Sasuke’s skin, then he is cupping Sasuke’s face again to get him to concentrate.

“What is happening? Speak to me,” he commands, strict and harsh like an ANBU captain, and somehow his straight-to-the-point and no-nonsense attitude is almost comforting. This is the deadliest man in Konoha, the ANBU captain, the Sixth Hokage, the commander that has got Sasuke and his team out of more live-threatening situations than Sasuke can count. “Why can’t I sense your chakra?”

Sasuke has no idea where to start unravelling the mess he is in, and there is no way he would be able to explain it in the few words he might be able to struggle out. And what would he say when even Tsunade doesn’t know what is happening to him?

“It will pass,” is what he manages to utter before the pain washes over him again and makes him tremble and fold over.

That is not enough for Kakashi.

“How do you know – has this happened before? _When?_ ”

But Sasuke pays no mind to his questions. He needs to get up and out of here.

He reaches for the wall, trying to steady himself against it when the pain makes his head sway. But he miscalculates the distance, his hand meets only air, his body follows the weight of his arm, and his tired muscles don’t react fast enough to correct his balance. He falls, closing his eyes, defeated, because hitting the floor with his head first can’t possible feel worse than his chakra pathways scorching themselves and –

Kakashi grabs him. He slips an arm around him, pulling Sasuke towards himself, and Sasuke lands half-sprawled on him. His head collides with Kakashi’s shoulder, his thigh slams against Kakashi’s knee, and the arm Kakashi has on his back is uncomfortable, his fingers dig into Sasuke’s side.

Sasuke grimaces at the taste of blood in his mouth and tries to get his body to work. He doesn’t need help, and certainly not Kakashi’s right after he showed Sasuke the door. The fresh gashes he spies on Kakashi’s thighs, from kneeling on the scattered remains of Sasuke’s mask, only add to his humiliation.

Sasuke plants his hands on Kakashi’s chest and tries to push himself off, calling for his chakra again. The energy he tears from his body is raw and hurting, but enough to strengthen his arms if he can just swallow the pain.

Kakashi’s arm is heavy and doesn’t budge an inch when Sasuke tries to wiggle away.

“Stop,” Kakashi growls when Sasuke doesn’t take the hint. He brings his other hand to rest on Sasuke’s neck and forces him to lean his head on Kakashi’s shoulder. The hold he has around Sasuke’s chest is so tight it’s almost hard for Sasuke to breathe.

Sasuke scrunches his eyes closed, balls his hands around the fabric of Kakashi’s shirt and tenses, because of both pain and anger. He is still hanging on to the tattered remains of the wisps of chakra he forced out, and he pushes against Kakashi because he is not weak –

“Stop,” Kakashi repeats, but this time his voice is only a shaky whisper, breathed against Sasuke’s ear, barely audible, and his heartbeat, drumming in his chest against Sasuke’s hands is fast, too fast, when Sasuke falls limp against him.

Sasuke hides his face in the crook of Kakashi’s neck and slips his arms around him. His hands are shaking, so he grabs the back of Kakashi’s shirt and tangles his fingers into the fabric. Kakashi’s breath is warm against his skin as he buries his face in Sasuke’s hair, his lips gracing Sasuke’s ear.

Sasuke’s lungs burn still, and the ache behind his eyes drills deep into his skull, but Sasuke focuses only on the steady rhythm of a chest rising and falling against his own and the warm breath in his hair. In the between of his coughs, his clings on to the feeling of Kakashi’s fingers drawing calming circles on his back.

And the pain slowly eases away like it did last time, leaving in its wake Sasuke shaking and beyond exhausted. His breath wheezes in his throat every time he breathes out, he is not sure whether he can get his cramping fingers untangled from Kakashi’s shirt, and the disgusting coppery taste of blood lingers in his dry mouth. He closes his eyes.

He hates this. He hates how fast this has happened to him, how weak he has become in such a short time.

Kakashi shifts underneath him.

”So,” he begins after clearing his throat, his tone too casual for his raspy voice, his nose and mouth buried in Sasuke’s hair, “care to tell me what this was all about?”

Sasuke isn’t certain how he can hear it in his voice when Kakashi raises his brow, but he does.

”Not really, no,” he mumbles back. While it’s comforting to be there, nested against Kakashi with Kakashi’s arms wrapped around him and his thumb brushing against the soft skin on Sasuke’s neck, Sasuke doesn’t give in. He lays a hand on Kakashi’s shoulder to balance himself and tries to wiggle free again, though not with that much effort.

” _Sasuke,_ ” Kakashi says and sounds so much like he used to before everything happened, frustrated with him and basking in the right to be that.

Sasuke sighs and slumps back to lean his forehead on Kakashi’s shoulder. His hair is still damp enough to drip water on Kakashi’s shirt and turn it into a darker shade of colourless grey.

”This has happened once before. Back at the cave. It was… worse than this. Came out of the blue, I don’t know why, I – ” he explains while staring adamantly at a wrinkle in Kakashi’s shirt. He flinches when his voice breaks on the last word.

Back in the cave, when Sasuke was down on his knees and spitting out blood, he could keep himself in control. Even at the hospital, he could bite his cheek and force himself to bury the need to break down crying, but now his lower lip is shaking and the gentle touch of a hand on his back makes him swallow hard. ”My chakra vanishes, the pathways are damaged or something, and I cough up blood just like Itachi did before he died. And so did my grandmother and probably half of my cousins I can’t remember anymore because I was so young when they died and – ”

More droplets fall on Kakashi’s shirt.

“Have you told Tsunade?” Kakashi asks, his voice hoarse and husky. He sounds calm, but his hold on Sasuke is tight.

Sasuke nods stiffly – he doesn’t trust himself to say anything out loud.

“But you were fine before you left, weren’t you?” Kakashi continues, and now he sounds almost angry, angry because this shouldn’t be happening. Sasuke feels him freeze in his arms. “Weren’t you?”

“I would have told you if I hadn’t been.”

Kakashi sighs, then rests his chin on top of Sasuke’s head, tucking him closer.

“As if we didn’t have enough going on already,” he mutters and gets a breathy, slightly shaky chuckle in response. They are both happy to just sit there on the floor and lean on each other, the sharp shards of what used to be the Robin mask scattered around them.

Kakashi squeezes Sasuke’s neck.

“I’m sorry about what I said,” he says, serious and sincere and more himself than he has been for a long while. “I think I knew it already back then that you didn’t mean it. But it was easier to get mad at you than to try to understand you. Easier to try to protect you than to respect your wishes. Or you.”

Sasuke’s chin presses uncomfortably against Kakashi’s shoulder when he nods.

“Do you still want to…?” he asks, eyes closed, and lets the silence finish the question. The warm touches of lips gracing his brow like accidental airy kisses suggest the answer, but Sasuke still needs to hear the words.

“If you do.”

And maybe he holds on to Kakashi a little bit tighter after that.

But his legs are starting to fall asleep because of the awkward position, and as much as the physical contact comforts him, he is already feeling a little self-conscious. Sasuke draws back, untangling himself from Kakashi so that they end up sitting away from each other, Sasuke on his knees.

Kakashi’s hand finds its way back to scratch the back of his head again, like he is almost embarrassed. He tries to give Sasuke one of his laidback smiles, but his eyes give him away.

“So, what now?” Kakashi sighs and let his hand and smile drop.

“I guess we wait,” Sasuke shrugs. “Tsunade wants to see me again in a few days. She promised to look into this but finding an answer could take time.”

“She would probably like to hear about this,” Kakashi says and gives Sasuke a pointed look.

Sasuke sighs, then nods.

“She said I’m off the active roster. No missions until she knows what’s wrong. You need someone else to lead the guard.”

Kakashi gets on his feet and studies the tiny gashes on his legs. A few red lines here and there, nothing too deep. Sasuke glances down at his own thighs and then at the mess of the white and red shards on the floor. They need to clean this up before they let the dogs in here.

Kakashi offers a hand to help him up, and Sasuke, too tired and sore to pretend otherwise, lets him do the heavy lifting.

“Lion would probably be the best, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Sasuke agrees ruefully, and for once in his life doesn’t fight it when Kakashi unceremoniously wraps an arm around him and walks him to the living room.

Sasuke sits – falls – down on the couch, suddenly cold and hungry and tired. Kakashi rolls the legs of Sasuke’s pants up and checks the gashes on his skin. He clicks his tongue, deems the damage smaller than he feared, and after treating the few worse ones he lets Sasuke curl up on the couch. He disappears into the kitchen and comes back with what looks like the reheated remains of a fast-food meal from yesterday.

“That’s literally the only thing I have left,” Kakashi explains, smiling embarrassedly with his eyes closed, and offers one set of the cup noodles to Sasuke. “Half a dozen all-nighters tend to mess with dietary habits. It’s probably gross, and I’m not sure whether it’s better than nothing, but…”

Sasuke finds enough energy to roll his eyes at him before he accepts the noodles. He tucks his feet underneath himself to make room for Kakashi and warms his hands by wrapping his fingers around the cup.

Kakashi turns on the TV, switches through the channels until he finds a cheesy, overly sappy movie with a happy ending and sticks with it. He lands on the opposite end of the couch while balancing his takeout in one hand and the remote control in another.

The movie had only just begun when they found it, and as frivolous and full of clichés as it might be, it distracts Sasuke just enough from thinking about anything else but the fate of the star-crossed lovers in the silly story, and gives him a chance to calm down and his heartbeat to settle.

It is as much of a way to calm down for Kakashi as it is for Sasuke – Sasuke catches Kakashi stealing glances at him every time Sasuke as much as shifts on the couch. He is worried and Sasuke can’t blame him. If he feels this awful and miserable, he must look worse, and Sasuke is sure that had the dogs still been at the apartment, Kakashi would have dumped at least one of them on Sasuke’s lap, telling him that petting a dog would make him feel better.

An hour later, they get a commercial break right after a cliffhanger they saw coming a mile away, and Sasuke hides a yawn behind his hand. The bright light of the TV hurts his eyes in the dark room and he tries to blink the incoming headache away. He glances at Kakashi next to him. He doesn't seem that sleepy as he skips from one channel to another to pass the time. Only cheap commercials and quizzes flash on the screen and Kakashi, frustrated, snorts at all of them.

“Turn it off,” Sasuke says and gets a grunt in reply. The screen turns black and the room falls to darkness, there is only the faint light of the moon shining through the windows.

Kakashi gets up, takes the dishes from the small table and smoothly finds his way to the kitchen.

”I can sleep on the couch,” he calls out when Sasuke can no longer see him. His voice is meant to be cheery, but he is not entirely convincing.

Sasuke stretches his stiff and sore legs and follows Kakashi into the kitchen.

”You don't have to,” he states from the doorway, resting a hand against the doorframe. Even the dim light he sees how Kakashi tenses, then relaxes at his words.

Kakashi sighs and turns to look at Sasuke. The glow of the sharingan flashes as he blinks in the darkness.

”Are you sure?”

”Yeah.”

The silence that follows is heavy. Sasuke leans his weight against the doorframe and holds Kakashi’s gaze, calm and certain of what he wants. Kakashi is the first to look away – he turns from facing Sasuke with a small shake of his head, a tiny smile on his lips, then he looks at Sasuke again.

“Let’s go then.”

Their steps are quiet and slow. The bedroom is as dark as the rest of the apartment, only lit by the soft moonlight through the window. Sasuke, familiar with the space, knows his steps and finds his way across the room without tripping over anything. He closes the curtains over the window and hides the sleeping village from view.

The bed sheets rustle behind him when Kakashi sits down on the bed. He blends into the darkness when he closes his left eye.

Kakashi grabs Sasuke’s arm when Sasuke walks past him. It’s a strengthless grip, his fingers only brush against Sasuke’s skin and the bones on his wrist, but Sasuke stops anyway. Kakashi’s head is down, and Sasuke can’t see his eyes, but when Kakashi tugs his wrist and pulls Sasuke to him, Sasuke goes along with it with lazy, languid steps.

Sasuke ends up standing right in front of Kakashi, between his legs so that Kakashi’s thighs brush his. Kakashi rest his head against Sasuke’s abdomen, and his shoulders hunch with a deep sigh. Sasuke rests his free hand on Kakashi’s shoulder, then moves it to his neck to play with the fine, soft white hair.

“You scared the hell out of me,” Kakashi says. His weary tone makes Sasuke stop to listen, and Sasuke looks down where Kakashi has Sasuke’s hand in both of his. He turns it back and forth as he studies the calloused palm and fingers, brushing his thumb against every thin, white scar.

 Sasuke narrows his eyes. 

“I’m fine – “

“No, before, with the mission. You were late,” Kakashi interrupts him, shaking his head. He pulls back from leaning against Sasuke, curls his fingers around Sasuke’s and finally looks up at him. “I thought you were dead.”

Sasuke runs his hand from Kakashi’s neck to his jaw, with lingering, slow movements, and curls a finger under his chin. He steps closer, close enough that Kakashi has to crane his neck to look up at him and Sasuke’s legs press heavily against Kakashi’s inner thighs. Sasuke lifts Kakashi’s chin, leans down and kisses him.

He presses his mouth against Kakashi’s, simply and plainly, his dry and chapped lips brushing against the corner of Kakashi’s mouth where the skin is rough to the touch with the days old stubble. Sasuke’s gaze darts to Kakashi’s eyes when he barely responds to the kiss, but when Sasuke changes the angle and opens his mouth to him, closing his eyes, it’s like Kakashi slowly wakes up. He rests his hands on Sasuke’s hips, more to steady himself than to pull Sasuke to him, kissing him back, almost clumsily, awkwardly at first, then with more certainty and intent after every touch of skin and lips and tongues.

Sasuke’s trousers fall on the floor with a soft sound. He slips out of them with one fluid step, his bare feet silent on the floor, and places one knee on the mattress as he goes in for another kiss. Their quickened, not yet quite panting breaths mingle into each other as Kakashi’s hands travel under his shirt. Sasuke places one hand on Kakashi’s chest, the other on his shoulder for support when Kakashi’s fingers find their downwards.

The bed creaks under their combined weight when Sasuke pushes Kakashi back to get him to move so that he is not sitting right at the edge of the bed. Kakashi is still finding his bearings when Sasuke climbs on his lap. Their teeth clash together when he moves, and they are both far too tired for this – Sasuke’s eyelids feels so heavy every time he closes them when he kisses Kakashi – but he fights with the waistband of Kakashi’s sleeping pants anyway.

Kakashi pulls his shirt over his head and lets it drop on the floor. His hair falls over his face, his sharingan spinning wildly through the white hair and lashes, and Sasuke longs for his own sharingan so he could imprint the look on Kakashi’s face into his memory for good.

Sasuke’s knees are on the bed on Kakashi’s both sides as he presses himself against Kakashi, their hips grinding together, Kakashi’s hands hard and demanding on his thighs and lower back. Kakashi’s eyes are hooded and dark when he meets Sasuke’s gaze. Sasuke’s back arches.

He rests his forehead against Kakashi’s when Kakashi guides him to move, their fast breaths mixing, their lips gracing each other’s, then crashing together. Kakashi’s fingers dig into Sasuke’s thighs, his nails scrape Sasuke’s skin, and he pulls Sasuke closer, always closer and still never close enough.

Sasuke gasps for breath, deeply tangled in Kakashi, and comes with his forehead resting on Kakashi’s shoulder, trembling and finally home.


	35. Dog Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! It's been... a while (please don't kill me). The reason for that is that I've been slowly losing interest in Naruto, the characters and this ship, and so I haven't had that much motivation to write. I took a month off from even thinking about Naruto or this fic altogether just to feel better and to explore another fandoms. But I also love this story so much and would love to finish it someday. That's why I'm nowadays writing this fic on a "if I happen to feel like it" basis. That means that either my updating schedule will be slow or that there might be no new chapters coming at all. I just don't know. I wanted to let you guys know what the situation is, and also to thank you for sticking with the story so far. 
> 
> On a happier note, it's been ten chapters since we last started with Sasuke waking up, so I get to have my fun now.

_The 14th of July, the fifth year of peace_  
_Konoha, the Land of Fire_

Birds are singing outside.

The late morning sun shines on the east wing of the Hokage Tower and heats up the large stone building. Even though the window blinds are shut and most of the light can’t get in, the bedroom of the Hokage’s private residence is still hot and stuffy, the air inside heavy with remnants of sleep and sex.

Sasuke, still half-asleep and happy to be so, pushes the thick blankets off his sweaty upper body with a grunt and buries his head back into the pillow. The persistent bright light slips past the blinds and glows behind his eyelids, turning his world warm orange and red and brilliant white. His body is heavy and sore and aching, his muscles stiff, as he turns away from facing the window and lets the light warm his bare back. The sheets stick on to his sweaty skin, his annoyingly long hair is a tangled mess at his neck, and his throat is dry and parched. The discomfort is what woke him up in the first place, but he can’t still quite force himself to get up and do something about it.

One of the dogs is sleeping on the floor next to the bed – it snores softly, sniffing something in its sleep every now and then, the sound just loud enough to keep Sasuke from drifting back to the dream that is still lingering behind his closed eyelids. The other dogs are home as well, as the tapping of several paws trotting around in the apartment carries through the slightly open door.

A sleepy glance through his lashes tells Sasuke that Kakashi has got up already. The other side of the bed is empty and made, the sheets cool and smooth under his touch when he reaches a hand over, his foggy mind slow to catch up.

While Sasuke feels like the whole world stopped for him yesterday, it hasn’t done so for anyone else – life goes on as it always has, and Kakashi had to wake up hours ago to make it to the office on time.

Sasuke blinks at this revelation for a while, then surrenders to his fate and looks over his shoulder at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It’s almost noon.

Defeatedly, he forces his complaining body to get up. The floor is cool under his toes, and the bed creaks when he lifts his weight off it. As if on cue, Shiba, Bisuke and Akino appear at the door and make a beeline for his warm spot on the bed, beating the just only waking up and slightly baffled Pakkun on the floor to it. Sasuke rolls his eyes at them before heading towards the bathroom.

After a quick shower and rummaging through his side of the closet, Sasuke wanders to the kitchen. He turns on the old radio neither Kakashi or he has got around to replace, and the slightly rattling sound fills the room. There is some overly-enthusiastic radio host, whose inhuman speed of producing words reminds Sasuke of Naruto, describing the weather outside and promising them more sunshine they can deal with along with sweltering heat for the rest of the week.

The fridge hasn’t magically filled itself during the night, and that fact has Sasuke wondering the pros and cons of having the suspicious-looking cup of instant ramen he manages to find for breakfast. He is just about to give up and go on a search to find a kettle to boil water in when the window behind him gives a screech as it opens and a pleasant breeze wafts into the room.

Kakashi’s hair waves in the gentle wind as he climbs through the window, balancing two full grocery bags in his arms. He has rolled up his sleeves and discarded the dark vest of his Hokage uniform somewhere, probably at the office, to bear with the heat of the day. He pushes the window wider open with a gloved hand, glances up from what he is doing and spots Sasuke watching him.

Kakashi stops, forgetting himself perched on the windowsill, and blinks in surprise. He has lost the dark circles from under his eyes, and there is ease in the way he moves, his shoulders relaxed even after a morning at the office. The bags he is carrying swing dangerously because of his jerking stop. They are so full and stretched that the white plastic is almost translucent – Sasuke can read the labels and logos through the bag.

Cheerful chatter and joyous laughter of the village children drifts through the open window. A playful song fit for summer and dancing plays on the radio in harmony with the wind that sways the light curtains of the window.

“…Morning.”

Kakashi’s voice comes out gruff with surprise and the word tentative, almost a question. His eyes are sharp when he watches Sasuke for a reaction, for a clue of how he should proceed or if he should do so at all.

Sasuke, who hasn’t even seen a cup of coffee this morning, only stares at him groggily before grunting something that vaguely resembles a greeting. Then he turns his attention to making some coffee.

There is only a quiet thud when Kakashi jumps down from the window. Apparently, Sasuke’s incomprehensible grunts and glaring were understood as an invitation to approach. Kakashi comes and dumps the grocery bags on the counter next to Sasuke. He starts to unpack them, stacking the cans and bottles on the shelves and in the fridge. He glances at Sasuke from the corner of his eye after loading his arms full of milk cartons.

"Did you just wake up?"

"Hn," Sasuke answers, rubbing his eyes, and doesn’t fight it when a yawn escapes his lips. This earns him a chuckle and an amused glance. As small as that exchange is, it is so much more than what Sasuke had this time yesterday and has him wondering if another, possibly somewhat badly-faked yawn would earn him another look.

The coffeemaker starts gurgling and making some other funny noises next to them. Sasuke drums his fingers against the countertop, then considers the large amount of food the Sixth Hokage has gone his way to buy and deliver during his short lunch hour.

“This is a bribe, isn’t it” Sasuke says, feeling courageous, and nods towards one of the half-empty bags.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kakashi answers without a beat, bats his eyelashes innocently and hands Sasuke an apple from one of the bags.

“This is a peace offering. You’re trying to get on my good side,” Sasuke muses, his mouth full of apple, and scrutinises Kakashi who is busy stuffing vegetables in the fridge. “Or in my bed. Again.”

Kakashi considers this, pulls back from the fridge and takes a slow, long look at Sasuke, his expression as blank and flat as his voice.

“Is it working?”

Sasuke throws the half-eaten apple at him.

The coffeemaker finishes, and Sasuke helps himself to some coffee. He pours the mug so full it almost overflows, then carries it to the table with the hot mug scorching his fingers. He slumps down at the end of the table and sips the coffee, wincing when it burns his lips.

Sasuke hears Kakashi snort at him. He gives Kakashi a dirty look, which only results in Kakashi raising one split brow at him.

“Shut it,” Sasuke mutters, hunched over his mug, then tests if the coffee might have cooled down at all. It has not.

“I didn’t even say anything.”

“Shut up anyway.”

Kakashi just shakes his head, holding back his chuckles, and glances at the clock. He needs to go back to work soon.

“Did you send a group to the cave?” Sasuke asks and glares at the offending coffee, leaning his cheek on his hand and drumming his fingers against the surface of the table.

“As soon as I got to the office. And I let your team know that you won’t be on the guard for a while, but I didn’t specify why. I thought you might want to tell them yourself.”

Sasuke nods, he appreciates the gesture.

“I could also get a new ANBU mask made for you,” Kakashi says as he turns to get himself some coffee too. Sasuke watches him, the lines of his back as he moves, stretching his arm to reach for a cup on the highest shelf.

They both know that even in the best case, Sasuke won’t be needing that mask for a good while, and the chances of him not needing one at all for the rest of his life are far higher than either of them wants to admit.

Sasuke lets his fingertips rest against the hot porcelain of his coffee mug for so long that his skin starts to sting.

“If you want to,” he answers in a quiet voice, his eyes fixed on the red skin on his fingers, and presses his hand against the mug again, wincing at the contact.

“I’ll arrange it then.”

For a while the kitchen is quiet, there are only the sounds of Kakashi turning off the coffeemaker and the dogs breaking something on the other side of the apartment. Kakashi is pouring the coffee, his back still to Sasuke, when he asks: “How are you feeling?”

He doesn’t see it when Sasuke cringes at the question.

“I’m fine,” Sasuke answers in a tight, clipped voice and refuses to meet Kakashi’s gaze when he glances over his shoulder at Sasuke.

Before Kakashi can come to sit at the table, there is a flap of wings as a messenger bird arrives and lands on the windowsill of the open window. Kakashi quirks an eyebrow at the hawk, leaves his steaming coffee at the table and walks over to the bird to take the note. The hawk tries to peck at his hand, but Kakashi evades it, rolls his eyes at the violent bird and opens the message scroll. Sasuke studies him over his mug of coffee, slowly waking up, and blinks in surprise when Kakashi hands him the message after barely glancing at it.

Curious, Sasuke takes the note and finds that it is in fact addressed to him. Dread falls over him like a bucket of icy water when he recognises Tsunade’s handwriting, curvy and flowing, though her hand is sloppier than usual. There are only so many reasons why Tsunade would send him a note now, and his careful avoidance of thinking about last night is forcefully thrown out of the window.

Clenching his jaw, Sasuke glances at Kakashi to find him looking back. He is leaning his hip against the table, one hand resting on it, fingers spread out, his face carefully schooled into showing nothing but sober resolve.

 Sasuke unfolds the message, his fingers white, and reads the note.

_Uchiha,_

_I went through my personal archives and notes last night and ran the lab tests. (I spent the whole night on it, you ungrateful brat!) and compared your symptoms to several old, known cases of the hereditary disease of the Uchihas_ _._ _The symptoms don’t match, and_ _the lab tests came back negative. You don’t have it._

_I can’t say anything else about your condition yet, but I’ll keep looking into it._

_T._

_P.S. Don’t forget, you have_ _a check-up_ _in_ _two_ _days._

_P.P.S. I_ _told you so._

She has underlined the _don’t_ in the _you don’t have it_ three times, and pretty much everything except the last line is barely readable because of the messy handwriting, but there is no misunderstanding the note.

Sasuke closes his eyes. He hunches forward to lean his elbows on the table, his shoulders sagging, and covers his eyes with his hands. He lets out a long, shaky sigh so that his chest heaves and presses uncomfortably against the edge of the table. His limbs feel weightless and wobbly, and he is glad to be sitting down because he is not sure whether he would be able to stand on his feet right now.

_It’s not what Itachi had._

“What did she say?”

Sasuke spreads his fingers to look up at Kakashi. He is clutching the back of a chair, his knuckles white as bone, his chest unmoving as if he is not breathing, carved out of stone.

Sasuke knows he should say something when Kakashi has so clearly misunderstood his reaction, but he doesn’t trust his voice. He forces his hand not to shake when he holds out the message to Kakashi who is slow to take it. 

Sasuke watches in silence as Kakashi reads the note with his brows furrowed and jaw tense, but it’s not until Kakashi has read the message at least twice that he lets himself breathe and slump against the table.

“Goddammit…” he chuckles and rubs his forehead, eyes closed. “The first heart attack of the day.”

He reaches his hand towards Sasuke, and Sasuke takes it, squeezing back.

He is not going to die.

At least not of what Itachi had. But that doesn’t mean that whatever unknown condition he has won’t kill him.

“But we still don’t know what it is,” Sasuke says and looks up at Kakashi, his voice quiet. Kakashi’s face reveals that he has come to the same conclusion himself.

“We’ll deal with it, no matter what it is. There is no other option. And you can start that by letting Tsunade know about yesterday. She’ll be the one to figure out what this is, so you’d better not hide anything from her.”

“Hn.”

Kakashi tosses the note on the table. It’s wrinkled on the corner where he was holding it.

“So, what’s with the _I told you so_?” Kakashi asks as he reaches for the coffee he forgot on the table.

Irked that Kakashi caught that, Sasuke leans back on his chair and crosses his arms over his chest.

“Nothing,” he gnarls and glares at Kakashi, daring him to ask any further questions about it. “It’s just a stupid joke she thinks is funny.” Of course Tsunade would have the guts to send the bird here, so sure that she was right about Kakashi letting him in that she would rub it in Sasuke’s face.

“If you say so.”

Kakashi checks the clock again, glances at the untouched coffee he is holding and sighs heavily before he pushes it towards Sasuke.

“You can have that, I have to go. I have a date with a scandalously attractive pile of D-rank mission reports.”

“Are you cheating on me?” Sasuke asks and accepts the offered coffee and swirls the hot spoon Kakashi has forgotten in the cup.

“Yes. I was too weak to resist the allure of monotonous, grammatically incorrect descriptions of weeding gardens and hunting for noble ladies’ cats. I’m sorry,” Kakashi answers and can’t quite keep the grin out of his face. He closes the distance between them in two steps and leans down to press what would have been a kiss on Sasuke’s cheek if the mask hadn’t been in the way.

“I’m breaking up with you,” Sasuke states in a bored voice and wonders where the newspaper of the morning might be as Kakashi’s clothed lips brush against his skin.

“Naturally,” Kakashi chuckles, his eyes closed with the smile, as he straightens up and heads towards the window he came from – skipping over rooftops and balconies to get to the Hokage’s office is faster than jogging through the building.

The bright sunlight shining through the window behind Kakashi makes his white hair shine like a halo as it frames his face and falls over his neck. His bare forearms have got a slight tan this far into the summer, the smooth, unconcerned way his hips move when he walks should be illegal, and when he reaches a hand to the window frame for support, his shirt rises and reveals a tiny patch of skin on his lower back, faintly shimmering with sweat.

Sasuke jerks up from the table – his chair screeches against the floor – and leaps forward with a couple of purposeful steps to grab Kakashi’s wrist.

Kakashi merely quirks an eyebrow as he allows Sasuke to turn him around and pull him away from the window.

“What, did you miss me already?” he asks with the laidback, almost bored tone of his in his voice as Sasuke walks backwards, dragging him along. Once Sasuke’s back hits the table, he plants his hands on the table and pushes himself to sit on it. He yanks Kakashi forward so that they end up flush together, their legs brushing each other’s, their eyes level.

“Yes,” Sasuke breathes out, and while Kakashi might have been joking, he is not. He rests his forehead against Kakashi’s, his eyes half-closed, his lashes fluttering, breathing in the earthy, familiar scent of Kakashi’s shirt. Kakashi’s eyes widen just slightly at this before his hands come to rest on Sasuke’s waist, a light touch, and he leans against Sasuke so that Sasuke feels it when he sighs deeply.

Sasuke raises his hands and lays them on Kakashi’s chest. He runs ups one hand and traces the lines and curves of Kakashi’s body, over his collarbones and up his neck, all the way up to his cheek where Sasuke’s fingers are gentler but just as agile. He hooks one finger under the dark fabric and slowly pulls down the infuriating mask, his own lips pressed together as he focuses. He doesn’t think he will ever quite lose the sense of excitement he still gets every time Kakashi allows him to see his face.

A faint tan line crosses over Kakashi’s cheeks and nose and Sasuke follows it with the slightest touches of his fingertips. He used to tease Kakashi about it all the time, saying it makes his stupid face look even dumber and asking what’s the point when he has a perfectly fine face in the first place and wearing the mask leaves him looking like that. But who is Sasuke to complain when he finds it almost arousing that he is the one of the few, if not only one, to know what Kakashi looks like under that mask? And if he is – possessively – happy of the fact that Kakashi makes the effort to meticulously hide his face from everyone else, nobody needs to know.

Kakashi’s white, almost translucent lashes flutter at the touch of Sasuke’s fingers on his skin. Boldly, Sasuke runs his fingertips over the silver scar. He feels Kakashi twitch under his touch, just a small shift, but he doesn’t back away. The scar is soft and silky to the touch and runs from Kakashi's forehead all the way down to his chin, barely missing his lips. Sasuke traces its path and finds his way to the slit brow, and from there down over the flickering eyelid to the tender skin on the corner of Kakashi’s mouth. Kakashi has shaved since yesterday, and Sasuke is not certain whether he misses the stubble or not.

Kakashi lazily wraps his arms around Sasuke and leans against him, resting his chin on Sasuke’s shoulder. He is warm, nearly annoyingly so on such a hot morning as this one, and uncharacteristically clingy, and Sasuke would absolutely mock him about it if he wasn’t the one who started all this sappiness. So, what is Sasuke to do but to first make a show of scoffing and huffing for the sake of appearances and then relax into the embrace. That earns him a hum from Kakashi– it’s a deep, low, content sound that makes Sasuke just close his eyes for a moment.

He missed this.

Brows furrowing in concentration, Sasuke angles himself so that when he draws back a little bit and turns his head just so, his lips brush against Kakashi’s almost like on accident. He grazes only the upper lip first, pressing a kiss on the tender skin on the corner of Kakashi’s mouth, and enjoys the sudden stop in the warm breaths breathed against his own. The pause doesn’t last long though, as Sasuke barely has the time to register the smirk smiled against his lips before Kakashi claims his mouth in a kiss, and the only appropriate response to that is to kiss him back, deeply and properly and with more passion than is suitable for the early hour of the day.

The table isn’t of the sturdiest kind of breeds and gives a screech under Sasuke’s weight when he leans back, pulling Kakashi along with him, and plants one hand behind him to support himself at least somewhat upright. Sasuke offers one careless thought to the full coffee cups somewhere behind him and whether they might have to clean up spilt coffee after this but isn’t bothered to be particularly concerned.

“I’m going to be so late, aren’t I?” Kakashi mumbles against his lips and slips his calloused hands under Sasuke’s shirt. “Tsunade is going to have my head when she hears about this.”

“I’m keeping the apartment if she kills you.”

“You’re supposed to protect me and not to count what you inherit if I die,” Kakashi remarks in a dry tone, faking the exasperation, but seems to be in no hurry to leave and save himself from Tsunade’s wrath.

Sasuke raises one unimpressed brow and keeps his voice completely level and flat:

“If you haven’t noticed yet, I am fucking an older guy in a position of power and wealth. Really, what did you expect – that I wouldn’t have you killed and steal all your money?”

Kakashi pulls back to stare at Sasuke with both amusement and wonder, his eyes crinkling with laughter. He squeezes Sasuke’s hip, his hands almost hot on Sasuke’s skin now that the sun has already warmed up the room. There are wayward silver hairs stuck onto his forehead and falling over his eyes. The tan line divides his face, the skin on the lower part of his face is almost as pale as Sasuke's, and the hickey he has right below his jawline stands out brilliantly.

Kakashi catches Sasuke staring and a sly grin spreads over his exposed face when he realises what exactly Sasuke is so intently studying.

“You have one here as well,” he says and places his fingers on Sasuke’s left collarbone and pushes the collar of Sasuke’s shirt off his shoulder, his calloused fingertips hard to bear on such a sensitive spot.

“Oh fuck,” Sasuke lets out and has to elaborate when Kakashi gives him an amused but slightly questioning look. “That will last for weeks with my skin. Seriously. Don’t laugh, you don’t get to laugh, you have that stupid mask so nobody sees anything.”

“It’s not that bad if you keep your shirt on,” Kakashi offers, not concerned in the slightest.

“Yeah, but did you miss the part where I said it lasts _weeks_?” Sasuke scoffs, nagging for the sake of nagging and not because he is really angry.

“Uh-huh.”

“I hate you,” Sasuke whines as if Kakashi’s shenanigans brought him great suffering, grabs the front of Kakashi’s shirt and yanks him toward him, a demand nobody says no to. He has barely finished his sentence when he crashes his lips to Kakashi’s, sneaking one hand into the light hair, and when Kakashi pushes him down on the table, he gladly goes along with it.

That day, the Sixth Hokage returns from his lunch hour very, very late.

 

o0o

 

The next few days are just as busy as they are hot. July scorches them with sunlight and swelter heat, but Sasuke tries his best to escape it by sprinting from one building equipped with a cooler system to another, rushing back and forth between the Hokage Tower and the hospital. Once Tsunade heard about his second episode, she dragged him off to another set of tests in less than a heartbeat, and so far Sasuke has spent half of the week sitting at the hospital while Tsunade and a herd of nurses poke and prod him with various instruments.

It’s with a furrowed brow when she informs him that there is new damage to his chakra system, more pathways burned to crisps only after less than twenty-four hours since the last examination. It’s not hard to guess the reason for it. Tsunade absolutely forbids him from having another attack ever again, and so Sasuke is banned even from thinking about his chakra. He is stuck to walking on the dusty streets of Konoha instead of flying over the hot rooftops warmed by the sun, to gazing up towards the birds gliding through the air overhead.

But after several daily check-ups and long dull days of being tied to the ground, Sasuke gets some good news. As soon as he stopped using chakra, the disintegrating of his chakra pathways slowed down considerably, if not ceased altogether. Some detective work later, they are ready to put the blame for his attacks on the substantial amount of chakra Sasuke demanded from his body during the mission. The first attack came a couple days after he had exhausted his chakra system to get to Danzou’s hiding place in record time, and the second similarly after many long days of travelling with the aid of his chakra. The worrying aspect of the revelation is that time between the excessive use of his chakra and his pathways scorching themselves in a violent episode seems to be shortening, and with a frightening speed at that.

And they still don’t know what the original reason for Sasuke being in this situation in the first place is. But there are some test results they will have to wait for a couple of weeks for, so Tsunade is not giving up on him just yet. Her attempt at consolation is to slap Sasuke on the shoulder and tell him to try to see his forced sick leave as a vacation, if he knows what the word means.

When Sasuke isn’t being a puzzle for Tsunade to solve, he tries to mend the little there is to mend at the Council meetings after his absence of over a month. The Council members are well-aware that Sasuke was accompanying the Hokage during his tour around the country, but that doesn’t stop the Elders from bullying him because of it. But Sasuke is far too clever to give them what they want, and so he merely brushes off their insults.

Sasuke half-expects the Elders to corner him at some point to blackmail him further about his possible involvement with their Hokage, but that intervention never comes. Though the old farts harass Sasuke as much as they can, there are considerably fewer suspicious glances thrown towards Kakashi and him during the Council meetings. It’s not that far-fetched to think that a word about their loud fight and icy mission briefing might have got back to the wrinkly couple, and while that incident may have proven that there truly was something between them, the Elders now seem to think that their fight put an ugly and bitter end to it.

When Kakashi and Sasuke realise this, they put their heads together to form a plan and immediately further cool down the little interaction they have in public. No more openly backing each other in the Council meetings, no more subtly rolling their eyes or kicking each other under the table when someone says something stupid. It almost becomes a game between them, a game of who can throw a better icy glare or a veiled insult toward the other while discussing the finances of the academy, the latest nosy letter from the Daimyou or the village’s complicated relationship with the Shinobi Alliance.

Sasuke can’t say he doesn’t enjoy it, the friction they manage to artificially create between them, because there is just something so delicious about it. Kakashi is breathtakingly skilled at delivering a biting remark in a flat voice from his place at the head of the table while coming across as completely disinterested, and sometimes the so-masterfully crafted condescending look in his steely eyes alone is enough to drive Sasuke up the walls and make him answer with just as much venom in his words. And Sasuke doesn’t miss the flash of both irritation and immense satisfaction in Kakashi’s eyes when Sasuke presents a particularly cutting comeback after what Kakashi thought was his last word.

But to be completely honest, Sasuke enjoys the rough making up afterwards even more.

Sasuke tracks down the member of his ANBU team soon after that morning at Kakashi’s to let them know about his reason for backing down from being the leader of the Hokage’s guard. He doesn’t sugar-coat the situation or his small chances of ever returning to the job – he is blunt about it because that’s the only way he knows how to do it. Otter almost cries, Eagle goes pale, and Hare disappears somewhere with a pack of cigarettes and a tight set of shoulders. Owl hugs Sasuke before he leaves. Lion’s mouth is a thin line when he accepts the marks of the leader from Sasuke.

Once Lion officially accepts the position as the leader of the Hokage’s security detail, it seals the deal with the Elders. When the Council members ask Sasuke about the decision to step down from the leadership and whether the situation is temporary or for good, the only answer he deigns to give is that he is leaving for personal reasons. It’s not a lie, but if the sudden, chilly shift in his relationship with the Hokage guides how most people interpret that statement, Sasuke is not going to correct them.

And so, during those days of sun when everyone else is busy gossiping about the Hokage’s guard losing one member barely two months into the Sixth’s reign, Sasuke tries to accept the fact that his chakra might never again be what it used to be, and that consequently, his career as a ninja might be coming to an end. His method of coming to terms with the situation is to actively avoid thinking about the problem and denying it even exists. Being a snarky, clever asshole at the Council meetings is a lovely distraction, listening to Sakura gossip over a cup of tea another, and spying on Naruto and his little genins works too in a need of a better option. And when nothing else keeps his mind off the ever-growing problem, Sasuke goes to bother his second-favourite Hokage – Tsunade is his favourite by default, so Kakashi has to concede to the second place.

During the lazy days of Sasuke having nothing to do, he and his Hokage do absolutely nothing productive when they manage to sneak off to have some time together. They laze on the patio of Sasuke’s house that gives to a small backyard garden, sitting on the patio in the sunlight with a book or two and watching the dogs run around the garden in excitement.

That is, of course, only after the ANBU guards have checked the perimeter and confirmed that there is no one to see it when they waste an afternoon throwing a ball for the dogs to fetch. There is no one to witness it when Kakashi, lying on his stomach on the wooden patio, abandons the mission reports he was signing to use his brush and ink on Sasuke instead, drawing wonky hearts on the inside of Sasuke’s wrist just to hear him whine about ink poisoning. No one to see it when they almost fall off the patio as a result of a strategic, analytical and ruthless tickle fight when Sasuke just has to find out whether the infamous copy-nin has that particular weakness, or when Sasuke finds Kakashi sitting outside in silence, staring at the sunset with his face pale and jaw clenched tightly, and kneels down behind Kakashi to wrap his arms around him, closing his eyes.

 

o0o

 

_The 18th of July, the fifth year of peace  
Konoha, the Land of Fire_

The village of Konoha disappears in a flash of colour when Sasuke draws the curtains over the large windows of the Hokage’s office. The light shining through the fabric of the colour of sun-bleached brick stains the room with a shade of red that isn’t necessarily a pretty one.

Sasuke steps back and takes a look at his handiwork. Every inch of the grand windows is covered, even when the curtains sway slightly as the fan in the corner of the room turns to blow already stale air towards them.

“That should do,” Kakashi offers from somewhere behind Sasuke where he is crouched down over the drawers of his desk, his arms elbows-deep in the archive of case files.

“Hn.” Sasuke scrunches up his nose, regards the windows again just to be sure, and finally turns his attention to the Sixth Hokage. “Are you going to find it or not?”

“Don’t be so impatient, I know I put it somewhere around here –” Kakashi says as he fishes though the files, stopping only to read the title on them before moving on. “ – _Aha_ , here.” He straightens himself up and holds a thin file towards Sasuke. “The newer reports are on the top.”

Sasuke takes the file and skims through the pages while Kakashi takes on the desperate job of trying to clear up some space on the desk. Most of the information in the file Sasuke is familiar with, as it contains all the intel Konoha has acquired on Danzou and his group since they fled the village, and it’s certainly not the first time Sasuke finds himself studying the few notes of the possible sightings of Danzou or his men inside the borders of the Land of Fire. There is also a new report that arrived yesterday telling them that there has been no activity near the abandoned hideout.

While everyone who knows about Sasuke’s chakra situation – that is, mainly Tsunade and Kakashi – would want nothing more than Sasuke to rest, twiddle his thumbs and generally just be a waste of air and space, Sasuke is having none of it. His ability to use chakra might be compromised, but that doesn’t mean he can’t use his brain. Out of his two relentless guardians, the easier one to blackmail into letting Sasuke continue to investigate Danzou’s case was obviously Kakashi, since Sasuke seriously doubts that he could seduce Tsunade into doing anything or survive the attempt of threatening to burn her non-existent collection of porn novels unless she let him work again.

So, here they are. Kakashi told the secretary in the outer office to let nobody through when they came in – nobody needs to see them getting along after all the effort they have made these last few days to make everyone believe they are still fighting. As far as excuses go, the Hokage and his ex-right-hand-man are having a very difficult conversation about the consequences of the said right-hand-man’s resignation and are not to be disturbed in any case.

“Not much help, is it?” Kakashi notes and steps aside to let Sasuke spread the file and its contents on the desk.

“No.”

There are only half a dozen different reports of encounters with Danzou and his men arranged on the table in chronological order – and most of them are just rumours, someone maybe saw someone that might have been him. The only one that has any credibility to it is the one that sent Sasuke rushing from the village in a mad race to find an empty cave and an abandoned camp.

When they now compare the locations of those rumours to the location of the hideout on the map they spread over the desk, it’s easy to see that almost all the sightings were at a reasonable distance from the cave. Not close enough that they should have made the connection and pinpointed the location of the hideout, but close enough that the hindsight tastes bitter.

“Knowing that does us no good when we know Danzou is not anywhere near the hideout anymore,” Sasuke snaps and runs a hand through his hair, messing it up.

“Hush,” Kakashi stops him and places a hand on his shoulder, frowning in concentration. “Look at the map.”

He nudges Sasuke to the side to get him to move a little so he gets a better view, a determined look on his face. Sasuke glances at him, then turns to the map. It shows the Land of Fire, its villages and cities, but also the forests and lakes, rivers and swamps, all the obstacles shinobis need to know about.

“They can’t move fast when their group is so large. Or over difficult terrains,” Kakashi thinks out loud, his eyes moving back and forth as he scans the map and the areas around the cave. “We know that they haven’t returned to their camp since you and your team left about a week ago. That’s not a very long time for them with their speed.”

Sasuke follows the black line marking the border of the Land of Fire with his finger.

“The border surrounds them in the west, north and even in the northeast. They won’t go there unless they want to risk the other Shinobi Nations getting interested in them,” he says and hears Kakashi agree.

“The swamp you guys came through is here, in the southwest. Your team had difficulties with that, and there were only five of you, all competent ninjas. Danzou and his people have children and elders with them.”

The swamp is a large, dark patch on the map, of the size and shape of a coffee cup stain, and while Sasuke might sneer at the discovery that their route back from Danzou’s hideout wasn’t exactly the straightest possible or without detours, the landmark drawn next to the swamp brightens his mood considerably.

“Konoha is in the south,” he says and lets a grin quirk up his lips.

“Yes. The only direction they _can_ go is east,” Kakashi finishes and rocks on his heels, hands in his pockets. He tilts his head to the side. “See? Not so impossible.”

“Don’t look so proud of yourself. Your east is a broad term, not their exact coordinates. It’ll still take weeks to track them down,” Sasuke snorts, but that doesn’t stop him from taking another look at the map. “You’re sending someone after him, then?”

“Several someones, I think.”

Kakashi taps his fingers against the map, glances at Sasuke and then looks away.

“What?”

“I have been thinking about going after Danzou myself,” Kakashi says, his words slow. “I was ready to leave when we had heard nothing about your team for days, but you came back before I had the time to do anything and after that…” A pause. “You have seemed to be feeling better the last couple of days, so I thought maybe I should go now.” He crosses his arms, then brings up one hand to lean his chin on his fist. There is a beginning of a frown on his face. “At least to look for him, at first. We can come up with a plan to take him down once we know where he is.”

Sasuke blinks. He looks at Kakashi, his own face blank as he stares at Kakashi’s unmoving profile, then at the map again. It’s not a bad idea to have one of the most experienced and strategical-minded shinobi go after an enemy of the village, especially when Danzou has been dodging their scouts for the last year. It’s just not necessarily something Sasuke wants to hear. 

“Can you and the guard leave without any rumours starting? Danzou will make sure you won’t find him if he hears you are coming after him.”

“I’ll go alone. I’ll draw less attention that way, and Tsunade can cover for me for a while. Nobody will notice I’m gone. And it’s better to have the team here in the case Danzou – or someone else – gets some funny ideas about attacking the village while I’m not here.”

“And that’s not reckless at all.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t,” Kakashi says. “But I need the team here. And you can’t come – I _know_ you can still fight, but – “

“ – I can’t use my chakra and that would slow you down. And you’d still have to cover for me in battle. That won’t work,” Sasuke finishes, saying it as it is. There is no use tiptoeing around the matter.

“If I had a team with me that would be no problem, and I would be glad to let you tag along – if Tsunade approves, that is. But I don’t want to bring anyone new into this when I can’t be sure who is loyal to the Elders. They were on Danzou’s side before – who is to say they still aren’t?”

The fan turns in the corner and blows Sasuke’s hair over his eyes. He brushes the locks away.

 “When are you leaving?”

“I’m not sure yet. Soon,” Kakashi says and massages his neck. He lets his gaze roam over the map to the gently swaying, always growing mountains of paperwork stacked atop and next to the desk. His eyes narrow in distaste. “I’ll have to finish those first.”

The chair gives a whiny screech when Kakashi slumps down on it with far less elegance than he possessed a minute ago.

“Why did I take this job?” he mutters as he glares at one of the offending stacks of mission reports. He slams one hand over his eyes, drawing in a deep breath, before moving the hand to rub his forehead. His next words are for Sasuke. “Why did you talk me into taking this job?”

“Taking over the world is going to be so much easier when I already have one Kage wrapped around my little finger.”

“Ah, I knew there was an ulterior motive. Could you consider conquering the world now so I won’t have to sign all these?”

Sasuke just rolls his eyes as he snatches the report Kakashi is reaching for and hops to sit on the desk. He crosses his legs, touches his finger to his mouth to wet it and then turns the page.

“If you just got to work instead of whining, you would be done in no time,” he says and side-eyes Kakashi. “You’re such a procrastinator. How Konoha hasn’t fallen yet is beyond me.”

“I blame the walking distraction that just stole my report and is currently occupying my work space,” Kakashi grunts, toying with a brush in his hand and twirling it in his fingers. “Go away.”

“Not a chance. You won’t get anything done unless someone is here to keep an eye on you,” Sasuke informs him. “You’ll just disappear somewhere to read your stupid books if I leave you alone.” And with that, Sasuke promptly ignores the slightly surly look on Kakashi’s face and returns his attention to the report – Kakashi has dozens of others to start with, he doesn’t need that one just yet.

The heavy, humid silence of the office is filled only by the rattling and hissing of the fan and the loud ticks of the clock on the wall. A shadow of a bird flies by on the other side of the windows and the closed curtains.

The papers rustle when Sasuke turns the page.

“ _Sasuke._ ”

Kakashi’s voice is low as he draws out the word, narrowing his eyes when Sasuke doesn’t bother even to glance at him. He stops the motion of the twirling brush in mid-spin.

“Get your ass off my desk.”

Sasuke lifts his gaze very slowly from the paper to stare down at Kakashi from his vantage point on the desk.

“No.”

Kakashi squints his eyes at him, an annoyed frown on his face. He twirls the brush again, this time with more speed and determination.

“Don’t pretend that this bothers you. I have sat here many times before, and besides, what does it matter when you would like to have me on this desk anyway?” Sasuke scoffs. The paper quality isn’t that good, the fresh ink of the report has stained his fingers, and he has to rub his thumb and forefinger together to get the colour off.

“That’s the problem.”

Kakashi’s words are rough and husky when he breathes them out, and _that’s_ what makes Sasuke finally put down the mission report.

Kakashi’s eyes are dark when they meet his.

“How am I supposed to concentrate with you there?”

Sasuke eyes him silently, his face blank, not making a single move to get down from the desk and out of the door. The wind from the fan softly sways his hair.

“I have to finish these by tonight, and you’re not helping,” Kakashi says, motions towards the papers with both his hands and almost glares at Sasuke. “So, _darling._ Go away.”

Nothing on Sasuke’s expressionless face suggests that he heard the last part. He hasn’t looked away from Kakashi still and doesn’t do so even when Kakashi moves from scowling at him to strategically ignoring him.

Kakashi should have known he was doomed from the very start.

Ever so slowly, Sasuke slips his shoes off, flexing his toes, and lets the shoes fall on the floor with two identical quiet _thuds._ Kakashi purposely doesn’t react to the sound, but he can’t help the shiver that runs through his body when Sasuke lays one bare foot on Kakashi’s thigh and slides it upwards, earning himself a deep, gruff noise.

“Sasuke…” Kakashi groans and looks up at him, his eyes dark and hooded.

“What?” Sasuke asks flatly, uninterest, and snakes his foot higher between the other’s legs. Kakashi’s breath hitches when he hits a sensitive spot.

“ _Sasuke,_ ” Kakashi growls again, his voice impossibly deep, and there is a warning in the word.

That doesn’t mean Sasuke is going to take the hint. His face is blank as he stares at Kakashi and moves his foot again.

Well, he tries to. A strong hand snaps a hold of his ankle before he can do any further damage, and then Kakashi pulls Sasuke towards him to the edge of the desk with a sharp tug.

Sasuke merely quirks an eyebrow at the rough handling.

Kakashi’s nails dig into his ankle, and the hand nearly shakes. He lowers his gaze, his light hair falling to cover his eyes.

“That’s really not fair,” he whispers and stands up from his chair with feline-like grace, well-aware of his own power and lethality. His fingers run the whole way from Sasuke’s ankle up his leg and thigh and end up lingering on the zipper of Sasuke’s trousers.

“That’s entirely your own fault. You should have kept your mouth shut,” Sasuke offers in an unconcerned voice but doesn’t make any effort to stop Kakashi. “Your secretary might hear us.”

Kakashi barely stops to glance at the clock on the wall.

“It’s his lunch hour still. We got maybe ten minutes before he comes back,” he states, his voice and expression matter-of-fact, but the look in his eyes anything but.

“Better make them count then,” Sasuke says just as nonchalantly and pulls open a zipper that doesn’t belong to him. It’s too damn hot today for all these clothes anyway.

A door bangs open in the outer office with a force that almost has the walls shaking. Sasuke freezes when he recognises the booming voice calling for Kakashi-sensei that accompanies the slam. Kakashi, too, halts, his body suddenly stiff and tense against Sasuke, holding his breath when they hear the only a notch quieter berating from Sakura.

With lightning speed, Kakashi and Sasuke pull apart. Sasuke jumps off the desk and almost sends a pile of paperwork on the floor with him. He slams on the mask of slight annoyance on his face, stuffs his feet into his shoes without looking, and tries to pull on his trousers and straighten his shirt at the same time. Kakashi struggles to get his clothes in order but succeeds only so and so. He touches a hand to his face as if to pull up the mask in panic, though they never removed it. He lands on his chair, grabs a mission report from the mess on his desk for a cover story and manages to make an uninterpretable wave of his hand towards Sasuke before the door is thrown open.  

“Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto yells his greeting with a wide grin on his face, standing at the door like a conqueror in his brightly orange getup. His sun-kissed hair turns strawberry blonde in the strangely-coloured light of the room, but his expression is just as bright as it usually is.

That is, until he notices Sasuke who is still in cold sweat and subtly tugging his shirt straight. Naruto’s smile falters for a half of a second as he blinks at the sight of his slightly dishevelled best friend, then he quite magnificently reins in whatever emotions seeing Sasuke might have awoken in him.

“Hi, Sasuke. Hi. Hello,” Naruto blurts out as his brain reboots itself. Sasuke glances at him, caught off guard, the turning of his head quick and twitchy and birdlike, and after a hesitant, slow blink, he straightens his fingers in a small imitation of a handwave.

To his relief, Naruto just grins at him in response. It’s the same stupid meaningless smile that is his default expression, and then Naruto launches himself on Kakashi again, sauntering in like the whirlwind he is to come to stand in front of the heavy desk. “Kakashi-sensei!” A pause. “Why are the curtains closed?”

Sasuke is very carefully not looking at Kakashi.

Behind Naruto, Sakura lets herself in. She has changed out of the white coat she wears at the hospital, her clothes more fit for training than healing, and that’s what Sasuke guesses the two troublemakers were doing before marching here. Sakura greets Kakashi and Sasuke in a more civilized manner with a small but genuine smile on her face and takes her place beside Naruto.

“ _Sensei_ _~!_ ” Naruto, who seems to be trying his best not to jump up and down, squeals, slams his hands down on Kakashi’s desk and sends half a dozen sticky notes flying in the air.

“I heard you just fine the first time, Naruto,” Kakashi answers dryly and casts a tired look after the now forever gone notes. Sasuke is pretty sure he is the only one to hear the honestly annoyed undertone in his voice. “I’m not quite that old and deaf yet that I would miss your delightful presence.”

Naruto either misses the jab or ignores it, as he continues to beam at Kakashi like a more annoying version of the sun, rocking back and forth on his feet.

“I have the best idea ever,” he exclaims, then comes to a sudden stop. His eyes dart between Sasuke and Kakashi, and his head follows the movement of his eyes. “But, no before that – _are you guys fighting?_ Because, like, _a lot_ of people have said so, but I said I wouldn’t believe it before I saw it because like, heh, why would you two ever fight?”

Sasuke turns to Kakashi, helpless, and finds him already looking back.

“So, are guys?” Naruto asks. “You know, fighting?”

Sasuke shrugs at Kakashi – he doesn’t know what to say –  but Naruto takes that as an answer.

“Is that a yes or no?” he asks and scratches his head. “’Cos I can’t tell.”

Kakashi looks at Sasuke again, but Sasuke doesn’t have any more answers than he did a minute ago.

“It’s a long, complicated story we don’t have the time for,” Kakashi sighs. “But did you have something on your mind or did you come to bother me for no reason?”

Naruto’s face lights up.

“We should do a mission together as Team 7 again!”

“A mission?” Kakashi repeats and raises one eyebrow. He leans back on his chair, one hand on his chin, and glances subtly at Sasuke. Here is a team he could take with him on his hunt for Danzou. Here is a team strong enough to cover Sasuke’s back even when he can’t use his chakra.

“You know, just like old times – the four of us together, saving princesses and escorting daimyous and – “

“I don't think we ever escorted a _daimyou_ , Naruto – ”

” – and defeating a ton of bad guys and saving the world, and it would be so much fun!” Naruto finishes triumphantly, not even listening to Kakashi anymore, and then looks for support from an unexpected party. “Wouldn’t it, Sasuke?”

To be completely honest, Sasuke isn’t sure what the fun part is supposed to be, but when he finds himself as the sole receiver of the overwhelming attention of the bright blue eyes after such a long time, he hears himself make a noncommittal grunt to answer at least something.

Sakura pats Naruto on the shoulder and steps forward to address Kakashi herself.

“I think it's a good idea. We could all use a little time off, and it's been so long since we did anything together.”

“Sakura-chan thinks it's a good idea!”

“It doesn't have to be anything big, a C- or B-rank mission would be just fine. Something simple like that shouldn't be that hard to arrange,” Sakura offers, now getting excited since Kakashi hasn’t shot down the idea yet.

“Don't you think putting a Hokage, a jinchuuriki, an ex-fugitive and one of our head medics is a little bit overkill for a C-rank?” Sasuke butts in and crosses his arms. It doesn’t matter that his old team might be his way to getting back to missions, or at least _a_ mission, this sounds idiotic. 

Naruto turns to glare at him immediately.

“Sasuke, don't be such a buzzkill.”

“Shut up, idiot.”

“You shut up, asshole,” Naruto growls and grins like a wolf.

Sasuke swallows his own grin before turning to Kakashi for support. He doesn't get any.

“It could be fun,” Kakashi muses, rubbing his chin, and side-eyes Sasuke. If he has already made preparations for leaving, arranging taking the old Team 7 with him shouldn’t be that much of a problem. And Kakashi might not have to sneak out of the village – a silly mission with his old team is a proper excuse for him to leave, no matter how funny the excuse is. “I do miss being in the field.”

“It hasn’t been three weeks since your trip around the whole Land of Fire!” Sasuke scoffs and pointedly ignores the fist-bumping Naruto and Sakura behind him.

“Exactly,” Kakashi smiles and bends down to grab a mission file from his drawers. “I was saving this one for one of the genin teams, but since you asked so nicely, I just might let you have it. It’s a simple escort mission – we take the civilian client to their home town and come back.”

“Yeessh!!” Naruto yells, one fist high up in the air. “When are we leaving? Now?”

“Does tomorrow morning sound good?” Kakashi asks, his tone mild. He tilts his head to the side and leans his chin on his hand. “Oh, and one more thing. How would you guys feel about a little detour?”


	36. High Tide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Guess who is updating on time for once. Camp Nanowrimo hit me like a whirlwind and forced me to write the longest chapter yet. Also, all your wonderful comments are such a motivation to keep writing, thank you!
> 
> The awesome [worriedandstalled](http://worriedandstalled.tumblr.com/) drew amazing fan art for chapters 28 and 33. Please check out the artworks [here](http://worriedandstalled.tumblr.com/post/175596074668/and-goodbye-to-the-rest-of-that-bottle-of-wine) and [here](http://worriedandstalled.tumblr.com/post/175595777553/have-some-slightly-terrible-art-inspired-by-why). Thank you so much for drawing them! :D
> 
> SP should really hire me to write their SS stuff.

****_The 19th of July, the fifth year of peace  
Konoha, the Land of Fire_

_Tap._

_Tap._

_Ta-tap._

_Tap._

The echo of a constant, slightly off-beat rhythm floats in the air. Slowly, it ascends over the high red walls of Konoha and to the sky, only to be swept off by the strong winds that race high above the still sleeping village like wild waves at sea.

Sasuke – who, unlike the carefree sounds, is still very much firmly anchored to the ground and so unable to escape – draws in a deep breath through his nose. He rests a hand to his forehead, holding his breath, and rubs his brow while pressing his lips together so tightly that his mouth is only a pale, thin line.

_Tap._

Sasuke snaps his eyes open. He jerks his head to the side to look over his shoulder, his fingers still resting on his brow, and _glares._

Naruto is blissfully oblivious to the death glare as he continues tapping his foot against the sandy main street and sending small puffs of dirt-coloured dust flying into the air. Under Sasuke’s burning gaze, he changes his weight from one hip to the other, crosses his arms over his chest only to stick his hands into his pockets almost immediately after, and keeps glancing towards the centre of the village and the Hokage Tower that looms far away in the distance, still tapping with his foot.

Despite Sasuke’s best effort, staring at the idiot doesn’t get him to stop and quiet down. No, instead and to Sasuke’s increasing horror, Naruto absentmindedly tugs his neon-coloured shirt straight while gazing at the horizon and starts humming.

Behind Sasuke, Sakura snickers at his suffering and doesn’t even bother to hide it. She is leaning against the gatekeepers’ post and watching the boys with an evil grin on her face, her backpack sitting at her feet and her hair tied up in a careless ponytail. When Sasuke turns his attention and unflattering scowl to her – after having no success with Naruto – she sticks her tongue out and winks at his ever-growing frown.

Sasuke scowls, catches Naruto still fidgeting from the corner of his eye, and then nods towards him while holding Sakura’s gaze. _Make him shut up._

Sakura shakes her head, still grinning. _Shut him up yourself._

A dirty look from Sasuke. _I can’t make him shut up, we’re still not talking!_

A tilt of head and another wink. _Guess you’ll just have to deal with the noise then._

Sasuke glares at her again before pointedly turning away. Sighing, he adjusts the backpack on his back and checks the main road again. It’s still very early in the morning, the streets are empty, and the sun has just barely risen over the village, though Sasuke can’t tell that by simply looking. The sky is grey, smudged with clouds like a watercolour painting, and it looks like it will be the first day in a week when the temperature won’t climb to be higher than tolerable. It’s not a bad weather for travelling.

The tapping grows into furious pounding before abruptly stopping altogether.

“ _Where is he?_ ” Naruto roars at the unsympathetic sky and almost get his teammates to flinch. There is a desperate, whining undertone to his voice. Then he is off to stomping around the gatekeepers’ post in circles while throwing his hands in the air. Naruto’s poor overstuffed backpack is forgotten on the ground, lying on its side. A frog-shaped wallet tries to slide out from one of the pockets.

Naruto makes two full rounds around the backpack, cursing with every step, before he comes to a jerking stop in front of his teammates. He wrinkles his nose and scrunches up his face so that his whisker marks stretch into harsh streaks.

“Sensei is late. Again. _Again!_ ” he screeches at nobody in particular and swings his arms around like a pair of propellers. His cheeks have a reddish tint to them, and the murderous glint in his baby blue eyes scares an unfortunate gatekeeper checking up on them back into hiding inside the post. “He is totally doing this on purpose, isn’t he?”

Sakura cranes her neck to peek inside the post to get a look at a clock.

“Technically, he is not late yet,” she says, shrugging. “He still has a minute to show up.”

“A minute! Ha! As if. When has he ever come on time?”

Then Naruto stops again, freezing in mid-motion, his eyes wide as he comes to a mindboggling realisation.

“The excuses. Oh gods, the excuses. He is going to try to feed us some bullshit about helping some grannies to cross the street or fetching a cat from a tree or – “

Sasuke mutters a prayer to his long-gone ancestors for the millionth time this morning, asking for patience and strength to deal with these idiots, when Naruto’s monologue just keeps going on and on. He blows his hair from his face, glances at his teammates – Sakura has joined Naruto in trying to remember all the absurd excuses Kakashi has thrown their way over the years and acting out a quite good, though not so adoring imitation of the man himself – and frowns at the empty street in front of them.

They should really have learned by now, almost ten years into knowing Kakashi, that this would happen. But no. Here they are, like a bunch of idiots, standing at the village gates and waiting for their team leader to arrive on time as if he hasn’t popped up at least half an hour late every single time they have ever left for a mission together.

“Aaaaand Sensei’s minute is up,” Sakura notes under her breath. She and Sasuke shrug at each other when Naruto hides his face into his hands and moans something about the road of life.

It feels like the good old times, the three of them waiting at the feet of the giant red walls just after dawn. Kakashi is nowhere to be seen, as usual, Sasuke is still trying to get himself to wake up, and Naruto hasn’t learned to stand still even after all these years.

But something has changed. This time the looks Sasuke gets from Sakura aren’t the wishful glances of a love-sick girl, but a subtle, analysing scrutiny from their medic directed at his way when she thinks Sasuke isn’t looking.

She knows.

And Naruto. He knows too.

They had to be told about his chakra because of the mission. It would have been a stupid, unnecessary risk to keep it from them that Sasuke can’t use his chakra, as hiding that would just needlessly endanger Sasuke and his teammates’ safety if something went wrong.

So Sasuke let them know.

After Kakashi promised them the mission yesterday, he promptly threw Naruto and Sakura out of the office to get a quick, private word with Sasuke, and soon Sasuke too was ushered out of the door and sent off to see Tsunade. Kakashi made it very clear that Sasuke would have no business in participating in their boring C-rank unless Tsunade approved, and there was no negotiating about it. Sasuke had found himself grudgingly agreeing.

When he got out of the Hokage Tower, he spotted Sakura and Naruto still hanging around nearby and ran to catch up with them, almost on a whim, before heading to the hospital. Letting them tag along was the simplest way to explain the situation.

Naruto and Sakura sat in a couple of hard, uncomfortable chairs in the corner of the examination room when Tsunade mapped Sasuke’s chakra system with her own smooth chakra for the millionth time. She explained about his condition in a calm, firm voice as she ran her glowing hands over Sasuke’s body, stopping every now and then to point out the location of some invisible part of his damaged chakra pathways to their startled audience. At some point, Sakura started asking questions with a lot complicated medical terms, and Tsunade answered them with just as much incomprehensible words neither Sasuke or Naruto understood. Eventually, Tsunade waved Sakura over to come to feel the damage for herself, and Sasuke watched, strangely fascinated, how Sakura’s face grew more and more stern with each inch of his body she examined.

Naruto didn’t have the recourses to deal with the news with as much grace as Sakura. His face had been growing paler and paler ever since he had seen Sasuke hop on to the examination table, and as the severity of the situation slowly dawned on him, his gaze started to skip from Sasuke to Tsunade to Sakura and back to Sasuke again. Every few minutes, he would open his mouth in an unattractive imitation of a fish on dry land, bite his lip and then clamp his mouth closed, lowering his gaze to the floor. After the fourth time Sasuke was ready to snap and tell him to get out whatever it was already.

Sitting there, half-naked, on a cold, metallic examination table with Tsunade laying bare his most vulnerable weakness in front of his friends didn’t feel as humiliating as Sasuke would have thought. Five or six years ago he would have hated the thought of having the members of his old team witness it when Tsunade pressed her warm hands uncomfortably on defenceless parts of his body and made him wince, but now, as he watched how his friends tried and failed to digest the information that something was seriously wrong with him, it both touched and pained him to see the brutally honest worry on Sakura’s and Naruto’s faces.

Somehow, during this short time Sasuke had got used to the fact that all of this was now a normal part of his reality – his chakra disappearing, Tsunade poking him almost every two days, these long and awkward examinations. Seeing the fresh, genuine shock on his teammates faces was a wakeup call in its own right.

Tsunade hadn’t warmed up to the mission plan as she thought it was just playing with fire and asking for trouble. But the damage to Sasuke’s body hadn’t grown that much since he stopped using his chakra, so there was no immediate emergency on the way. Tsunade could also see what being stuck inside the village without anything to do did to Sasuke’s nerves. Keeping him caged like this would just blow up on their faces sooner or later, and who knows what the stress would do to his already damaged, fragile chakra system. There was no easy option out of this.

Surprisingly, it was Naruto who laid the most convincing argument on the table. He spoke up from his place in the corner of the room in a quiet voice while Sasuke and Tsunade were busy glaring daggers at each other and informed them that they weren’t thinking far enough into the future. If they couldn’t fix whatever was happening to Sasuke, he would eventually have to learn to live the rest of life without his chakra. Sasuke couldn’t keep waiting for the medical results forever, especially since his condition had seemed to stabilize – at some point he would have to start living again, and as far as Naruto knew Sasuke, that would mean continuing being a ninja.

But this time he would be a ninja without chakra.

Sasuke could not start training for that too soon. And one day he would have to face the rest of the world without his chakra, the rest of the world that would not slow down and make things easier for him just because Sasuke couldn’t use his chakra anymore.

And so, Naruto said and bit his lip, was there a safer way to meet the cruel world and start learning than a ridiculously easy C-rank mission with his old, ridiculously strong teammates worrying over him like a flock of mother hens?

Naruto refused to meet Sasuke’s gaze after that, but his speech had done its job – Tsunade allowed Sasuke join the mission, though only after smacking him over the head first. She and Sakura made battle plans – Tsunade promised to brief Sakura later that day about all the details on Sasuke’s case – while Naruto avoided looking at any of them, and Sasuke had to stop himself from drumming his fingers against the table in a room where every sound echoed from one side of the room to the other.

After Sakura and Tsunade’s heated medical discussion which was incomprehensible to mere mortals such as Sasuke or Naruto, the Fifth Hokage presented two conditions on which she would permit Sasuke to leave. The first was that Sasuke had to obey Sakura to a tee when it came to his health, and she was allowed to hit him if he even looked like he was thinking about using his chakra. The second demanded that the “gathering information on Danzou” part of their mission would be just that – information gathering. Sasuke would only scout the area and listen to rumours in the nearby villages, nothing more. He would not go after Danzou if he didn’t want to part with his head, not even if Danzou himself jumped out of the bushes right in front of him and threatened to steal their lunch money.

Sasuke took what he was given and ran with it. A mission was a mission, no matter how easy and suitable for genins it was, and a trip outside Konoha was always a breath of fresh air, literally and figuratively.

The lovely sound of Sakura punching Naruto in the head pulls Sasuke from his thoughts. He has no idea what Naruto said to deserve the hit, but he is certain it was justified.

“Great aim,” he says and gets a wolfish grin from Sakura.

Naruto rubs the sore spot on his head while whining theatrically and gets his forehead protector all lopsided.

“Guys, that’s not nice…” he says, pouting, and shakes his head. “You’re ganging up on me – ”

He stops mid-motion when he spots two figures heading their way.

“They’re here! Finally!”

Sasuke and Sakura stop teasing Naruto and spin around to look back towards the centre of the village and the main road to see, indeed, Kakashi walking towards them with their client in tow. He has a backpack on his own with him, he has wrapped his forehead protector around his upper arm, and he waves a lazy hand in their general direction when he notices the three of them looking – glaring – at him.

“Morning, guys! Sorry I’m late, I got lost on the road of life as I was looking our client this morning and – “

“ _We don’t want to hear it!”_

“ _Liar!”_

“We have heard that one before,” Sasuke mutters as Naruto and Sakura scream their heads off at Kakashi who just smiles at them innocently and shakes off the insults like harmless flies.

“Now, now, no fighting in front of the client,” he says like the annoying old man he likes to say he is and waves his hand again, this time towards their client who peeks at them from behind Kakashi with an uncertain look on her delicate face.

She is a young woman probably in her late twenties, beautiful in a fragile doll -kind of way with dark, long hair and kind eyes fanned by lush lashes she keeps fluttering like butterfly wings. Her clothes, a light summer dress and a thin, pastel cardigan, are just as unpractical and pretty as is her way to move, soft and inefficient and undeniably civilian. She steps forwards, ends up next to Kakashi and brushes a lock of hair behind her ear. She looks even shorter and frailer when she accidentally makes Team 7 compare her to Kakashi by standing so close to him. She shyly tells them that her name is Yoshioka Hana, and she bows as she thanks them for taking her back to her small home town.

Sakura and Naruto switch from their bloodthirsty growling to bright smiles in less than a heartbeat when they dump Kakashi in favour of introducing themselves to Hana whose wariness of them is soon swept away by their sunny greetings. Naruto is beaming again, looking very tanned and strong in his orange t-shirt that is just a tad too tight on his wide shoulders. Next to him, Sakura is just as attention-grabbing with her toned body, her boxing wrist wraps and training clothes, and soft pink hair that contrasts with her sun-kissed skin. Hana is charmed into chatting with them in no time.

Sasuke, on the other hand, hangs back as he is content to leave the socializing part to his teammates. He glances at Kakashi to see him watching back, and a small smile appears on Kakashi’s face when he notices Sasuke looking at him. Sasuke mouths a silent “Hi” and grins when Kakashi nods towards their teammates and rolls his eyes while shaking his head. Sasuke watches him, smiling, a bit too long for them to look only like old teammates before he catches himself. He looks away so quickly that his short ponytail smacks against his neck, wipes non-existent dust from his muted dark blue shirt and walks over to Naruto’s backpack which is still lying on its side on the ground like a beached whale. Sasuke hoists the heavy backpack upright, grabs the frog wallet that is making its slow escape and stuffs it into the first, already full pocket he comes across on the backpack.

He hauls the backpack with him as he walks to his teammates and drops it at Naruto’s feet.

“Should we get going?” he asks and tunes out Naruto’s whine about breaking his stuff at the loud _thump_. He turns to their client who is blinking at him, surprised, and gives her his name and a nod as his blunt greeting. Hana is still absorbing this, her long eyelashes flickering almost comically, as Sasuke steps away from her and his team with the same directness he just arrived with and heads towards the gates. They are ready to leave, are they not?

As if to answer that, the gatekeepers push the heavy gates open behind them. The giant doors creak in the calm silence of the early morning and reveal the vast forest they were hiding behind them.

Sasuke is the first one to step outside, soon followed by Sakura and Hana. Kakashi walks out with lazy, laidback strides, probably already fishing one of his books from his secret stash. He stops to wait for Naruto, who runs screaming after them half a minute later, trying to hoist his bulky bag on his back as he sprints and shouts obscenities about some unnamed bastard leaving him behind on purpose. One of his louder shrieks sends a flock of startled birds of the forest flying over their heads.

They haven’t got far before another voice joins Naruto in trying to wake up the whole village.

“Lord Hokage! Please wait!”

Typical. Just so typical.

Sasuke’s tense shoulders rise to his ears as he breathes in sharply and wonders if anyone would notice it if he just kept walking. But he hears the others’ footsteps stop behind him, the quiet, disbelieving “Who?” in Hana’s melodic voice, and then Sakura is calling after him, telling him to wait.

Surrendering to his fate, Sasuke slows down. Behind him, the others have turned towards the gates that are still close enough to cast their shadows over them. Kakashi’s back is stiff and straight as a pole as he stares at something behind the gatekeeper that shouted after them.

The Elders.

“What now…?” Sasuke hisses through gritted teeth. His hair stands up at his neck as he watches the old couple, their thin grey hair and matching condescending expressions on wrinkly, skull-like faces as they take their time walking up to Team 7. They have an ANBU escorting them, the man walks at a respectful distance behind them with his arms folded behind his back.

Sakura and Naruto notice the change in Kakashi’s body language and sense the hatred oozing from Sasuke, but they don’t understand the reason for either of them. They study the Elders in silence, Naruto already swiping sweat from his brow, and Sakura glancing over her shoulder at Sasuke. Hana is the only one unaware of the tension in the air, but she keeps her voice quiet as she leans over to Sakura and asks who the strangers are. 

As if prompted by those whispered words, Kakashi, with his posture taut like a bow, moves to go to meet the Elders half-way. He stops just before reaching them so that the Elders have to come to him instead of Kakashi walking up to them. He is at least a head taller than either of the Elders when he stands in his full height, and as their Hokage, he is far higher-ranking than the two old farts put together, but when Homura and Koharu crane their necks to look up him, they somehow still manage to sneer at Kakashi like he is just some bratty genin fresh out of the academy.

 “What can I do for you?” Kakashi asks after a pointed silence. His tone is not as polite as his words. Behind him, Naruto and Sakura glance at each other in confusion.

Koharu is the first one to deign to speak.

“Lord Hokage, we are concerned about your safety during this…mission of yours,” she says in her dry, paper-like voice and fans herself with her hand. “It’s not proper for a Kage to travel without a suitable guard.”

Sasuke doesn’t have to see Kakashi’s expression to know that he raises a brow at the statement Koharu just gave with a straight face.

“Ma’am, I’m quite capable of taking care of myself – ” Kakashi begins with a whisper of exasperation in his voice, trying to talk down the protectors of his safety who have no intention of taking the hint.

“Nonsense,” Koharu huffs and points one wrinkly, bony finger towards Kakashi. “Your safety equals the safety of our village. We can’t let you leave without a competent bodyguard.”

Sasuke has to force himself to swallow the comment about the leader of the Hokage’s personal guard – well, a former leader – being right _there_ , close enough to hear every word. And he is not going to even mention the hero of Konoha, their Jinchuuriki of the Nine-Tails and a medic who pales in comparison only to Tsunade who are accompanying the Hokage as well. What are the Elders thinking – this is a fucking C-rank, for gods’ sake!

Sasuke steals a glance at their client before returning his attention to scowling at Homura’s crowfeet and crinkles. It’s likely that Hana had no idea that the leader of the village and his old students, each of them famous in their own way, were the ones escorting her as their extempore summer trip. Now she sure does know – there is no mistaking the awestruck, starry-eyed look on her face. Even the Elders’ best attempts at humiliating Kakashi right in front her don’t seem to dim the shine of the Hokage’s title.

“ – I feel completely safe with my team here, thank you very much – ”

“And since you are taking valuable assets of the village with you, we have to guarantee their safe return as well,” Homura says and considers Kakashi over the rim of his glasses. “It would be a shame, after all, if something were to happen to our precious Jinchuuriki or the next head medic, let alone to an important member of the Council.”

Oh, so _now_ he’s an important member of the Council? Sasuke scoffs, crosses his arms and doesn’t bother to hide the roll of his eyes as Koharu nods along to the other Elder’s words so that the loose skin under her chin wobbles. Sasuke is almost glad that it’s Kakashi the old coots are after this time, because he suspects that if he had been in Kakashi’s position, he might have punched them already. He wouldn’t have cared to try to sound even remotely respectful like Kakashi is right now, though by now, even Kakashi’s eyes have narrowed into slits.

“Hence we have handpicked an ANBU to safeguard you and yours on the journey,” Koharu finishes and nods so that the tight bun on top of her head bobs with her. At her words, Homura motions the ANBU to step forwards.

The man in an alligator mask bows deeply in front of his Hokage with his right hand clasped over his heart. He is at least as tall as Kakashi when he straightens himself up and nods at Team 7 and Hana. Short hair of the colour of the dusty road under their feet frames the porcelain mask and the teal markings resembling sharp teeth. He has two swords strapped to his back, both of them seem well-maintained and are easily within his reach. There is nothing remarkable or memorable about him, just as is expected of a soldier of the black ops, and Sasuke has a hard time connecting the codename with the right face even when he knows most of the ANBU forces because of his former position.

Sasuke can almost hear the whizzing sound of their plan of spying on Danzou and having some fun on the way with his old team crash-landing out of the window.

 “An ANBU?” Kakashi repeats and runs a critical eye over Alligator. “Really? For a C-rank? Have you truly this little faith in me?”

The Elders have no taste for Kakashi’s objections.

“We could run this decision by the Council if you prefer. But that would delay your departure by hours, and we do have a paying customer whose comfort is our priority, is it not? And I believe most of Council would agree with us about ensuring your safety. Lord Hokage, you are not only your own person anymore, you have a responsibility to stay safe so you can protect our village as our strongest shinobi.”

Kakashi’s chest heaves with a sharp intake of breath, and though he resists the urge to clench his hands into fists in a tell-tale sign of his frustration, Sasuke sees how his fingers twitch and lips press together behind the mask.

“We are simply considering what is best for the village. And right now that is this ANBU accompanying you,” Homura finishes.

“We insist,” Koharu adds from Homura’s side with an emphasis on both of the words, and unlike her partner, she shows it on her worn face that she thinks she has won.

And she has.

“Well, in that case,” Kakashi all but hisses as he realises he has no other options left. He barely glances at the ANBU before motioning him to join Team 7. “You, get over there.”

As Alligator obeys and slips past the Hokage without a word, Kakashi keeps his cold, red-and-black gaze on the Elders. On any other person his expression – a rue smile on his lips, none in his eyes – would be unsettling, but on him it is frightening, as the mask hides the nuances and details of the smile and makes him look less human.

Kakashi brings his right hand to his forehead in a mock salute.

“If that was all, we’ll be leaving. Good day to you,” he says, spins around on his feet and marches away without looking back. He has stormed past the ANBU and Naruto and is halfway through to Sakura and Hana before anyone else manages to get a word in.

 “Guys, let’s go,” he barks, his voice almost unrecognisable, as he reaches Sasuke and dashes past him in the same breath.

Sasuke needs no further prompting to get away from the Elders. He sets off after Kakashi, his own strides slower and less furious than his Hokage’s, who, by the looks of him, is quite content leading their group by his lonesome and not talking to anyone.

Soon the others’ footsteps join Sasuke’s. Sakura and Hana aren’t far behind him, and their quiet chatter fills the heavy silence once their group makes it to the shadows of the forest. Naruto’s steps are hurried and uneven as he jogs to catch up with them while balancing the heavy load on his back.

The ANBU’s feet make no sound on the road.

 

o0o

 

After a few hours of walking, Konoha has disappeared from their sight, and the cavalcade of trees they have passed has got a little repetitive, but Team 7 hasn’t got far. They can cross only so much distance when they have both a civilian and a ninja without chakra with them, and since leaping from branch to branch up in the treetops is not an option, following the roads is the only one they have. But it is a long way to Hana’s hometown, and the excessive excitement of the morning has simmered down long since then.

Somewhere above them, the sun is blazing, but Team 7 can’t see it through the clouds that are still to drift away. Not much is to be seen of the clouds either, as the trees and their million leaves cross over the sky like spiderwebs. Sasuke lifts his gaze and squints, trying to spot the sun so he could pinpoint how long they have been travelling.

Not surprisingly, he has found himself walking at the rear of the group. It’s a convenient place for eavesdropping on Sakura and Naruto who strut a few paces ahead of him. They have been talking animatedly among themselves ever since their last stop, trivial, harmless gossip that Sasuke listens to with half an ear. Every now and then one of the two turns around to ask Sasuke’s opinion on something, so it’s not like he gets to feel shut out.

The babbling slows them down somewhat, and Kakashi and their client have managed to escape considerably far ahead. Hana hasn’t left Kakashi’s side since they first set out and their Hokage’s frustration mellowed. Though this sudden hero-worship might have something to do with Hana now knowing who exactly Kakashi is, Sasuke suspects that it has more to do with Kakashi’s good looks. Sasuke recognises the doe-eyed look she keeps giving him, and he doesn’t miss the way she gradually inches closer to Kakashi as they walk together and chat quietly.

Hana also seems to be a little afraid of Alligator, who so far hasn’t said a word or otherwise approached any of them. As the ANBU gear is specifically designed to frighten, Sasuke isn’t that surprised that their civilian client is wary of the man. Most of the time, Kakashi has Alligator scouting the forest around them – more to keep him away from spying on them than out of actual need. It is just that each time the ANBU emergences from the trees around them without a prior warning, just appearing out of the blue, he gives Hana the opportunity to startle and jump towards Kakashi and the safety of his strong arms and then giggle at herself about how silly she is being.

Sasuke finds this charade only a little bit more interesting than the dusty road beneath his feet and prefers eavesdropping on Sakura and Naruto instead.

“So, what’s the plan again?” Naruto asks for the third time today while scratching the back of his head. “We drop her off and then what?”

Sakura sighs loudly next to him and covers her eyes with her hand, but Sasuke decides to save her from explaining the same thing for yet again.

“We’ll take her to her village which happens to be in the area we think Danzou and his group fled to,” he says and waits until Naruto swirls around to face him. “Once we are there, we’ll ask around if anyone has heard or seen anything unusual that might point us to his direction. And then, depending on whether we got any clues, we either scout the surrounding areas or follow the leads to see if we can find Danzou’s new hiding place.”

“Ah, okay,” Naruto says, nodding. He almost trips over his feet as he keeps walking backwards and stares at Sasuke with an undisguised thoughtful look on his face.

“What is it?” Sasuke huffs when Naruto stumbles again because of not looking where he is putting his feet in favour of gaping at Sasuke.

“I was just thinking – like, about yesterday – can you really not use your chakra?”

“No.”

“At all?”

“Technically, I _can_ use it, but every time I do more of my chakra system gets destroyed, so no.”

“And there is no way to fix it?”

“Tsunade hasn’t found one – she still doesn’t know what’s really wrong with me, so she doesn’t know what problem she is supposed to find a solution to.”

Though Naruto knew all of this already, his sad blue eyes still widen at Sasuke’s blunt words. Maybe he is processing it all only now. He looks down at his hands, then back at Sasuke.

“But how? Why?” he asks and it’s clear he would like to go through all the other interrogative pronouns as well, if given the chance. Sasuke has no answers to give him, so he just shrugs.

Naruto’s shoulders sag. He turns around to be the right way around again, but swirls back almost immediately, now with an entirely different expression on his face.

“So that means that we are walking the whole way there and back home too? That’s so boooooring.”

“Insensitive idiot!” Sakura growls and hits Naruto over the head. “We are walking to make sure Sasuke doesn’t hurt himself. And our client is a civilian so we would have to walk anyway. And you wanted to spend time together as Team 7 – we get at least a few extra days together when we walk, so don’t whine.”

“When I said that, I meant the four of us and a client we would ditch somewhere at some point, not the _five_ of us,” Naruto mutters and frowns at the direction where Alligator disappeared off to last time. “I don’t get why the Elders would want to send an ANBU with us? They aren’t really worried about Kakashi-sensei, are they?”

“Of course they aren’t,” Sasuke scoffs. “They just want to us to remember to stay in line even when they aren’t there to breathe down on our necks themselves.”

Naruto frowns, and Sakura slows down so that Sasuke falls in step with her. Naruto follows suit soon.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asks in a quiet voice and pins her gaze on Sasuke. “Do the Elders have something against us? Or…?”

Sasuke’s first instinct is to say nothing. He and Kakashi have been hiding this whole mess from their old teammates to be on the safe side, and nothing has changed since they made that decision. But he has revealed one secret to Naruto and Sakura in less than twenty-four hours already, and he is in the mood to do some more of that. He is beyond tired of having to choose his words around people he cares about.

And when Sakura and Naruto don’t know what is going on between Sasuke and the Elders, they are more likely to blurt out something risky in front of Alligator. Sasuke is just protecting himself when he lets them know about the Elders’ feud with him, though he opts to leave out the details about Kakashi and him as that secret is not his alone.

Sasuke eyes the trees around them for the ANBU before he begins, irked that he can’t use his own chakra to sense Alligator’s presence.

“The Elders,” he chuckles darkly and waits until he has his friends’ undivided attention, “don’t like _me_. They think I’m an incorrigible criminal on my way to ruin the good name of Konoha. If they were asked, they would under no circumstances allow me to represent the village, let alone sit in the Council. And the worst crime I could ever commit is to be associated with the Hokage in any way. Since by just breathing the same air as him, I can obviously damage his reputation, and so the reputation of their _precious_ village.”

Sasuke spits the last words out of his mouth, his narrowed eyes focused on horizon in the distance.

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Sakura’s answer is fast and riled up, her brows furrowed as she leans forward to peer at Sasuke’s face. “You left the village, sure, but to be honest, you were pretty justified to do that. You didn’t attack Konoha or run around the country in a killing spree, you’re not a mindless murderer. And it’s not like we ninjas are exactly innocent either. To single you out like that is just hypocritical.”

“And that Hokage thing is so stupid. You have known Kakashi forever, that’s not going to change just because they say so,” Naruto adds.

“But he is the Hokage now, so the Elders will try their best to make it change anyway. They don’t want him to be seen with the wrong kind of people now that he represents the village.”

“That is just so… stupid,” Sakura snorts and shakes her head. Naruto, on the other side of Sasuke, nods furiously at her words, his eyes angry and wide and disbelieving.

Sakura frowns.

“But what does our mission have to do with that? Why would they need to have an ANBU here to keep an eye on you?”

“The Elders told me not that long ago that if I am too… friendly with Kakashi, they will put a stop to the orphanage project. Kakashi and I agreed that it would be best if we made it seem like we aren’t talking – ”

“That’s what the fighting thing was about!”

“ – but I guess the bastards still have their doubts about that since they decided to send Alligator to keep us company.”

“I’m gonna kill them when we get home,” Naruto growls. His voice is low and deep with a hint of the Nine-Tails’ roar in it, and Sasuke isn’t sure whether he actually saw his eyes flash red. Naruto curls his hands into tight fists. “They have no right to do that to you guys, no right. It’s just wrong.”

“Please kill them, that would make my life so much easier,” Sasuke says, only half-joking.

Sakura touches his arm.

“What does Sensei think of this? Can’t he do anything?”

“He is not any happier about it than I am. But he is afraid that if he fights the Elders about this, they will find a way to make my life more difficult, or even a way to kick me out of the village.”

“And how long is this going to last? Like, are the Elders going to torment you about this forever?”

“Probably.”

“That’s fucked up,” Sakura hisses with a look of disgust on her face.

“Yeah, that!” Naruto agrees loudly and waves his middle-finger in the direction of Konoha somewhere far behind them. Sasuke has to duck to avoid getting the hand in his face.

 “What are you two going to do now? With Alligator being here with us?” Sakura asks.

“I guess we have to keep pretending that we don’t get along. I don’t know if Kakashi has thought of something else, but so far the plan has seemed to consist of us ignoring each other,” Sasuke says and nods to where Kakashi is walking with Hana. “So if you could keep quiet about this...”

“Of course!” Naruto says. He lifts a hand to lay it on Sasuke’s shoulder, hesitates, his eyes flashing to meet Sasuke’s, and then very slowly and carefully touches Sasuke’s shoulder.

“Your secret is safe with us,” Sakura adds as Naruto withdraws his hand with a sheepish, embarrassed look on his face. Sakura links her arm with Sasuke’s. “Don’t worry.”

Sasuke glances at Naruto and adjusts his arm so that it is easier for Sakura to hold on to it.

“Thanks, guys,” he whispers under his breath, so quietly he barely hears his own voice, but Sakura gives him a gentle squeeze, and Naruto is smiling again.

“I’m so gonna hug Sensei,” Naruto informs them. “He has had to put up with too much crap to have to deal with this on top of it all.”

Sasuke chuckles.

“You do that.”

Far above them, white clouds sail over the sky with strong winds like ships at sea, and the sun finally peeks through their cover. Its light shines through the thick forest, and the trees and millions of leaves throw glimmering, all the time moving spots of lights and shadows on the forest floor.

Tree branches on their right swish as Alligator arrives from his latest scouting trip and jumps down on the road. This time Hana’s fright looks like to be real – she almost trips on her own feet when the tall ANBU appears behind her, but Kakashi grabs her arm before she can hurt herself. He turns to look at Alligator over his shoulder and says something in such a quiet voice that none of them can hear it.

Alligator makes a gesture that is not quite a nod but not a bow either before walking past Kakashi and Hana and taking the position at the head of their group.

It’s the one place where he can’t stare at them without them noticing it. Kakashi knows exactly what Alligator is here is for, and he is not going to make spying on them easy for him.

Sasuke squints his eyes at the tight set of broad shoulders of the ANBU. Alligator is ruining what might have been a nice trip around the country by sticking along – all the joy about travelling is sucked out when Sasuke has to be constantly aware of the fact that he is being watched.

But at least he was allowed to leave the village. Sasuke knows this mission is not the most rational move right now, and Tsunade or Kakashi could easily have said no at any point and with good reason, and Sasuke wouldn’t necessarily have disagreed with them. But despite all this, here he is, walking side by side with his old teammates on his way to go to gather information on his worst enemy.

Though Sasuke suspects that once they are close enough to Danzou’s potential whereabouts, Kakashi will have him busy safely interviewing old ladies and gossiping townsfolk about suspicious strangers while Kakashi himself along with the rest of Team 7 treks through forests in search of Danzou’s hideout. At least that is what Sasuke would do if the situation was reversed, so he can’t exactly complain.  

Sasuke tears his gaze away from glaring at the ANBU and lets it rest on the beautiful, emerald-green forest around them. The little patches of blue and white sky peeking from between the tree branches are a bright contrast against the comfortable dimness of the woods, and the occasional bird flying by, singing, just accents the calm, solid silence. He draws his lungs full of fresh air. What does anything back in Konoha matter when he could just keep walking along the road to see where it ends?

Sakura’s elbow tapped against his side brings him back down to earth.

“Are you guys seeing what I’m seeing?” she asks, almost whispering, and points towards Kakashi and Hana.

“What?” Naruto asks in a loud voice and winces when Sakura hushes him, afraid that the others might hear them. Beside them, Sasuke studies their client and the Hokage and sees what has caught Sakura’s attention.

Hana is laughing at something Kakashi said. She brushes a lock of her dark hair behind her ear and positively giggles, her eyes shining. There is nothing new about any of that, but the interesting part is that when she lays a hand on Kakashi’s arm as if on accident, he doesn’t brush it away or step back. No, instead he seems to step closer to her with a charming smile on his handsome face, and says something, causing Hana to burst into laughing again.

“Is Sensei… _flirting_ with her?” Naruto asks, his voice full of bewilderment and disbelief, as his gaze keeps shifting between Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke.

“That’s what I thought too, but I wasn’t sure…” Sakura says, hides her smile behind her hand and shakes her head.

Sasuke, speaking from experience, can say for certain that Kakashi is, in fact, flirting with her. Kakashi is using that laidback, self-assured smile like the weapon it is, and though Sasuke can’t hear Kakashi’s words, he knows there is a warm, teasing tone in his voice that Sasuke can recall just by closing his eyes. He has been at the receiving end of Kakashi’s that kind of attention so many times he almost expects to feel a touch of a hand on the small of his back and a hot breath on his neck just by association after seeing that particular look in Kakashi’s mismatched eyes.

“He is,” Sasuke states bluntly to the great amusement of his friends, and then forces himself to stop staring because he doesn’t want to ruin Kakashi’s efforts of pretending that the two of them are not together. Casually flirting with a woman he is never going to see ever again with Sasuke watching only a couple of dozen feet away is the easiest way to throw Alligator off their track.

“That’s just so… _weird_ ,” Naruto informs them with a peculiar expression on his face, like the thought of Kakashi being flirty with anyone was a completely foreign, non-existent concept in his world up until to this point. “So weird.”

“I think it’s cute,” Sakura says and unashamedly ogles Kakashi and Hana who don’t seem to have noticed the excited scrutiny happening behind them. “She’s so pretty. Shame that she lives so far away. And that she is not a ninja.”

“What, were you planning their wedding already?” Sasuke asks and raises an eyebrow at Sakura.

“I just said she was pretty!” Sakura laughs and elbows him again. “Almost as pretty as you. But only almost.”

“Thank you,” Sasuke answers in a flat voice and stares at Sakura until she starts giggling.

Naruto throws an arm around Sakura’s shoulders and considers first Hana – who accidentally on purpose runs a hand through her shiny hair like the women in the shampoo adverts on TV Sakura likes to criticize – and then Sasuke.

“Well yeah, now that you mentioned, Sasuke is a lot prettier than her. Sensei could do so much better,” he grins and sways with Sakura so that they are like an old dancing couple when she laughs at his joke. Though amidst all this laughing, Naruto steals a shy, slightly frightened look to see if he might have offended Sasuke with his words. But Sasuke just shakes his head and chuckles under his breath at how dangerously close to the truth Naruto just got.

Either they have been walking faster than before or Kakashi and Hana have slowed their pace down, as Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke catch up to them enough to hear it when Hana says something about a book her sister made her read and Kakashi laughs at the statement. It’s the deep, quiet laughter that resembles the sound which in Sasuke’s world belongs to the moments in bed when Sasuke makes a dry comment between his struggled gasps for breath and shivering on the mattress, and Kakashi laughs, his voice deep and husky and out of breath, before whispering something against Sasuke’s neck.

It’s weird.

Sasuke is not jealous as he knows he has no reason to be – Alligator walking only a dozen feet ahead of them in full view is an explanation enough – but he can’t help but find it strange when something that he has thought to be unconditionally, unquestionably _his_ and his alone is suddenly brought into broad daylight and shared with someone they met only just this morning.

As if aware of Sasuke’s thoughts, Kakashi turns to look over his shoulder at the three of them. He holds Sasuke’s gaze only a breath longer than Sakura’s or Naruto’s.

Sasuke masks his nod by rubbing his forehead in the case Alligator or his teammates are watching and turns his attention back to the sky above them. It’s easier to watch the clouds drifting overhead than what is happening right in front of him.

 

o0o

 

_The 20th of July, the fifth year of peace  
The Land of Fire_

It’s the second evening of their mission. They make camp at a safe distance from the road they have been following all day and set a fire. The night is going to be clear, the sky is darkening like a canvas being painted over with strokes of red and purple and black. Stars blink into life one by one as the night sneaks closer, and the wayward sparks from the fire float upwards with hot air and blend into the starry sky.

Naruto has been tasked with the cooking duty for some unfathomable reason, and he is messing around with the fire and a collection of portable pans and bowls. The smell of the concoction he has managed to create is surprisingly good, and Sasuke considers giving the dish a try once he has seen Sakura try it and not die of food poisoning.

Sasuke pokes the fire with a stick he found, sitting on a convenient fallen tree trunk, and tries to kill time. To his left, Sakura is both instructing Naruto with his cooking and chatting with Hana, who in turn is paying more attention to Kakashi than Sakura. But to their client’s chagrin, Kakashi hasn’t looked up from his book that many times since he landed on his bedroll after sending Alligator to make a round around their camp. After spending almost two whole days talking with her – she is much clingier than Kakashi anticipated – it is no wonder if he needs some time for himself. 

Sasuke pokes one of the logs harder than last time and gets it to fall over and send a spray of sparkles into the air.

A bowl filled with colourful, suspicious-looking soup floats in front of his face.

Sasuke blinks, then looks up at Naruto who has appeared to stand next to him, holding the bowl for Sasuke and another for himself in his other hand. There is a shy smile on Naruto’s whiskered face.

“I swear I haven’t poisoned it, don’t believe a word Sakura says.”

Sasuke keeps staring at him with a blank expression, though he regrets the plan once Naruto thrusts the bowl into his arms anyway and nearly spills half of the contents on Sasuke’s trousers.

“Be grateful when someone cooks for you, asshole,” Naruto murmurs as he sits down on the trunk next to Sasuke and starts shovelling the soup into his mouth.

Sasuke considers the sight of his best friend with his cheeks full of soup, then lifts the spoon out of his own bowl while waiting something to jump out at him from the funnily-coloured depths.

“It’s not that bad,” Naruto slurs with his mouth full of soup.

“If you say so.”

In the end, the soup ends up being nice enough, once Sasuke gets past the weird colour. They sit a few minutes in silence, sitting side by side and eating the soup while watching Sakura and Hana talk. Kakashi seems to be comfortable ignoring everyone in favour of his book though Sasuke knows he has read many times already so it can’t be that interesting.

“You know,” Naruto begins as he scrapes the bottom of his bowls with his spoon, “I’ve been thinking…”

Sasuke looks up from watching Kakashi and waits for Naruto to continue.

“Like, things have been kinda funny between you and me, and I was kinda maybe hoping that, you know, maybe they could be unfunny again – or I mean, not unfunny cos that’s not fun and is that even a word, but like – ” Naruto says in one breath and then stops. He fidgets with his hands, swirling his spoon around in his fingers.

Sasuke stops breathing. Naruto keeps his gaze glued to the bottom of his bowl.

“’Cos you apologised already, and I know you meant it. And I said I would need more time and I really thought so, but these two days have been good, like, _great_ , and I just want to – “

“Naruto.”

“ – like get over this whole mess, especially since you have that thing with your chakra and I just want to be there for you, and I’m really sorry about everything and – “

“Naruto.”

“ – _but it’s totally fine if you don’t want to_ – yeah?”

“Unfunny would be good.”

For a moment, everything stands still and then –

Naruto’s face lights up.

“Really?”

“Really,” Sasuke says and lets a smile soften his expression. “And it should be me asking that. You are the one that got hurt, not me.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like I was the best boyfriend around either. And everything after that… it’s not all your fault,” Naruto says. He tilts his head to the side as he looks Sasuke in the eye and tangles his fingers together. “It’s okay. Honestly.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“Me too. But like, what I said about your chakra, I honestly meant it. I want to be there for you, really. ‘Cos that must be scary as hell, I can’t even imagine.”

_It is._

“Thanks.”

“No problem. Hey, you’re my best friend, it’s kinda part of the deal,” Naruto laughs and raises his hand for a fist-bump with a shit-eating grin on his face. “We’re all good now, right?”

“We’re good,” Sasuke chuckles and only this once gives in and bumps his fist against Naruto’s.

Naruto’s hand is warm and sure, and his hold is strong when he can’t contain himself and leaps over to throw his arms around Sasuke in a wild hug. They almost fall of the tree trunk because of Naruto’s lunge, and Sasuke spends the first minute of their renewed friendship yelling his head off at Naruto who just keeps laughing like Sasuke screaming at him is the best thing that has ever happened to him. They make enough racket to have Kakashi glance over his book at them with a beginning of a smile on his face, and Sakura scowl at them for behaving so childishly in front of their client.

“Did you ever have the courage ask Gaara out or did you talk about him for days just for fun?” Sasuke asks when he gets enough of Naruto clinging onto him like a particularly loud and annoying leech. The distraction attempt is a success, as Naruto turns so red that even the tips of his ears flare with the deep blush, and he lets go of Sasuke to try to hide his face in his hands.

“Well, did you?” Sasuke asks again when Naruto refuses to answer and instead focuses on squirming away from Sasuke. Sasuke grabs the back of his hoodie before Naruto can escape.

He almost misses the tiny, embarrassed nod Naruto hides under the collar of his hoodie he has drawn up to cover his face.

“You did?” Sasuke blurts out, then realises how disbelieving and surprised he sounds. “Eh, I mean, that’s great. Right? Isn’t it? What did he say?”

“I sent him a messenger hawk last week,” comes mumbled from somewhere deep inside the orange hoodie. “And – and we are kinda trying the long-distance thing now ‘cos he’s in the Sand and I live in Konoha, at least for now, but we’re thinking that maybe I could move there someday or that he could come to Konoha once they choose a new Kazekage though that take a few years and – “

Sasuke stares at his best friend and blinks at the word vomit that keeps pouring out of Naruto’s mouth now that he got going. Sasuke wasn’t expecting to get this much information – he thought he would have to coax every single word out of Naruto, not that he would be flooded with the latest gossip on the Kazekage’s relationship status.

“ – so, like, yeah. I guess we’re together now, and like… I’m really happy,” Naruto finishes, blushes even more furiously than before and disappears inside the hoodie for good.

Sasuke realises there is a smile on his own face.

“Congrats,” he grins and bumps Naruto’s shoulder hard enough to send him swaying on his seat.

A bubbly giggle escapes Naruto as he tries to catch his balance. A pair of blue eyes study Sasuke from the darkness of the hoodie, then Naruto pushes the hood off and reveals a dangerous smirk on the whiskered face, worthy of the nine-tailed fox living inside him.

“So, speaking of dating,” Naruto grins and rocks back and forth on the tree trunk, his golden hair swaying on and off his face with each swing, “who is it?”

“Who?”

“The one who gave you that hickey you have on your neck.”

It takes all Sasuke’s willpower not to slam a hand over his neck or jump up and march over to Kakashi to murder him. He makes sure his eyes don’t glance anywhere near Kakashi before he answers in a flat, unimpressed voice:

“What hickey?”

“The one you have here,” Naruto says and points to a spot between Sasuke’s neck and collarbone, right where Kakashi marked Sasuke the night he came back from the mission at the cave. “I saw it at the hospital when Tsunade told you to take your shirt off. And I’m pretty sure it isn’t the only one you got.”

“It’s just a bruise. I’m a shinobi, we get those in places.”

“Yeah, but not like the ones you have,” Naruto sings and leans closer to Sasuke. He straightens his index finger, and before Sasuke realises to dodge, pokes him right on the tender skin on the hickey. ‘Cos those are definitely hickeys.”

Sasuke can’t stop the flinch or the squeak of pain that escapes him at the touch. He slaps Naruto’s hand away before he can do any more damage.

“Get lost,” he hisses and stands up to get away from his too curious best friend.

“Ha! So they _are_ hickeys!” Naruto exclaims and leaps up on his feet, almost jumping up and down. Behind him, the reason for the conversation is carefully spying them from behind his book, a blank look on his face. On the other side of the fire, Sakura has caught wind of their screamed conversation and is closing in with a predatory look on her face.

“What’s this all about?” she asks, her voice loud and her face a one big smirk. Sasuke half-expects her to rub her hands together in excitement.

“Sasuke has a boyfriend! Or a girlfriend! Or something-friend ~ !”

“That’s not even a word,” Sasuke scoffs, crosses his arms and futilely tries to steer the discussion away from the topic.

“So, Sasuke ~ !”

“Who is it?”

The twin terrors are on Sasuke again.

“You have to tell us!”

In another life, where there were no Elders, this is the moment when Sasuke might have blurted out the name out just to see the astonished, bewildered looks on his teammates’ faces. And he almost does so now, because Sakura and Naruto are being seriously annoying, but also because they deserve to know.

But instead of telling them who it is, he glares at them while wishing he could still use his sharingan. He wants to run that decision by Kakashi before doing anything he can’t undo. And there is always the risk of Alligator walking in on them while Naruto and Sakura are processing the news – just Sasuke having hickeys is suspicious, dangerous topic when he doesn’t know where the ANBU is.

“At the party you said you didn’t have anyone. It’s been only a few weeks since then – what have you been up to, hooking up with someone so quickly?” Sakura asks and playfully pokes Sasuke into his chest.

“We want to know!” Naruto bellows and his eyes gleam mischievously. They both close in, staring at Sasuke like a pair of starving wolves. “And we need all the details too!”

“I don’t have to tell you anything,” Sasuke says and pushes past them, shoving them away from his path. He walks over to his backpack on the other side of the fire, kneels down next to it and starts rummaging through it for his bedroll while trying to ignore Sakura and Naruto howling behind him.

“Sasuke! You can’t do this! I told you about Gaara so it’s only fair that you at least tell us who it is!”

“Shut up, idiot. People are trying to sleep.”

That doesn’t help.

“ _Senseeiiiiiii!_ Make Sasuke tell us!” Naruto whines as he changes tactics and starts making puppy eyes at Kakashi.

“I’m staying out of this,” Kakashi states without looking up from his book.

 _As if this isn’t your fault in the first place,_ Sasuke scoffs and tugs the bedroll out of his backpack while Naruto and Sakura whine something about Kakashi being stupid and a coward. Hana giggles from the other side of the fire.

Finally, Sasuke gets his bedroll open. He slips in after kicking his shoes off, makes a number out of turning his back to Naruto and Sakura, closes his eyes and refuses to acknowledge anything the pair of idiots throw his way, figuratively or literally.

In the end, Naruto and Sakura run out of energy and grudgingly leave Sasuke alone when he keeps ignoring them. Kakashi says something about watch shifts for the night – he throws a stick at Sasuke to make sure he heard too – and slowly their camp quiets down. Alligator appears from the shadows of the night and comes to sit by the fire in silence.

Once Sasuke hears Naruto’s muffled snoring and Sakura stops moving around in her sleep, Sasuke opens his eyes. The fire glows orange against the dark sky. His teammates and their client are sleeping in a circle around the campfire, three shapeless figures in their bedrolls bathing in the soft, warm light of the campfire. Hiding a yawn, Sasuke glances around to see Alligator seated on his left, on the tree trunk Sasuke and Naruto were sitting on earlier.

If Sasuke turns to his other side and angles his head a little, he can see Kakashi sitting a few feet away, his back in that familiar slouch, reading his book with his hair falling into his eyes. He smiles to himself every now and then when there is a funny part in the godawful book, and Sasuke, faking to be asleep, is happy to watch through his lashes as Kakashi turns the page again, his long fingers dancing over the pages and the light of the fire playing in his eyes.


	37. There's Always a Calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this took only two months... But here I am again. This chapter was a pain to write, mostly because once after a whole evening of writing, I was saving the document and copying it to an USB stick and to wherever and I kinda accidentally... replaced the wrong file and lost everything I had written that night. It literally vanished. You guys should have seen me screeching at 2AM and trying to magically bring back the last eight or so pages, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. After that, I had no option but to rewrite everything the next day... and rewrite it for the third time the day after that because I came up with a better idea for the ending. :P

 

_The 22nd of July, the fifth year of peace  
Town of Green Tea, the Land of Fire_

“Out of the way, asshole!”

“You get out of _my_ way, idiot!”

“No, you get out!”

Two sets of footsteps thunder up the stairs with the grace of a panicking rhino. The old wooden railing shakes and trembles with the heavy, rushed steps of Naruto and Sasuke as they rush forward while trying their best to elbow and shove each other at the same time. The stairs whine and creak and finally give a long wheezy sigh when the boys make it to the top and disappear into the hallway. There their shouts get only louder when Naruto manages to accidentally smack Sasuke in the face by waving his arms, trying to stay upright, after Sasuke trips him.

“Which number is it?” Naruto shout-asks and tries to wrangle the key out of Sasuke’s hand.

“Like I would tell you, dead last,” Sasuke growls, straightens his arm high above his head and rises on his toes to get the key out of Naruto’s reach. “Go ask Kakashi if you want to know.”

“That’s not fucking fair! I’m not that stupid, you would get there first!” Naruto whines, gives Sasuke’s shoulder a push and then jumps for the key. “Give it here!”

A dozen more unrepeatable insults and countless elbow jabs later, they arrive at the door that bears the same number as their key. Sasuke jams the key in the lock, turns his back to Naruto to block his path and yanks the door open. But before he can get in and slam the door in Naruto’s face, Naruto grabs the back of Sasuke’s shirt and pulls, throwing him off balance, and wiggles past Sasuke into the room. He storms inside like an orange hurricane and swan dives to claim the bed next to the only window in the room.

“I win!” Naruto yells as he lands on the bed with a crash and ends up sprawled over it like a sweaty, grinning starfish.

“Whatever,” Sasuke mutters under his breath and rolls his eyes when Naruto almost falls off the bed in his excitement. Not so gracefully, Sasuke accepts his defeat and tosses his backpack on the floor next to the other bed.

Behind them, in the hallway, the rest of their party gets settled in the inn. Alligator checks the other rooms they have reserved for the night, silently peeking in to make sure they are secure. He has a small single room on the same floor as the boys, and he disappears there after Sakura pops up at the top of the stairs and waves him away. She is dragging both her own and Hana’s bags and makes it look easy, while Hana comes after her, constantly apologising for the inconvenience. Like Sasuke and Naruto, the girls also share a room, theirs is next to the one the boys have, while their esteemed team leader – with whom Sasuke hasn’t been able to talk properly since they left Konoha – can be found in his own private room at the end of the hallway.

Sasuke brushes his fingers against the tip of his nose. The skin of it has burned in the harsh sunlight, it’s tender and almost flaky now. The same can be said of his shoulders – that sleeveless shirt was a mistake – as they are bright red and aching with sunburns. Travelling across the Land of Fire is slow when they have a civilian and a ninja without chakra with them, and so they have had time to get fried in the sun and listen to the cicadas singing on road banks. Especially when the last few days have been blazing hot. The heat of July has returned with a vengeance and violence, and the sun, scorching them from the once again cloudless sky, could be described as cruel in its ferocity.

Sasuke sniffs his shirt, notes that it would have been better if he hadn’t, and heads for the shower before Naruto gets the same idea.

The village they are staying at for the night is reasonably close to the area where Danzou might be and not that far from Hana’s home. It’s larger than most towns nearby, large enough to house a respectfully sized inn at the edge of the town and to hold a reputedly famous summer festival that gathers people from all over the neighbouring villages.

The summer festival gives Team 7 a good opportunity to mingle and ask about possible strangers and suspicious happenings in the nearby areas. It’s too good of a chance to pass by, and after a quick look at their money reserves they agreed to stay there for the night. The inn, of course, was almost at full capacity with the festival visitors flooding the village, but thanks to Naruto’s charming smile and world-wide reputation as the Hero with capital _h_ , they are not sleeping under the stars tonight.

When Sasuke comes back from the steaming bathroom, tugging on a light yukata, the window behind Naruto paints a picture of an evening cooling down with the setting of the sun. The rural town is coloured with warm shades of orange, and the bright, blinding rays of light gleam from behind the dark silhouettes of small houses and cottages.

“Guess what this mission isn’t perfect without,” Naruto blurts from his place on top of his bed. He has crossed his legs in front of him, there is a mischievous grin on his face, and he keeps rocking back and forth in his excitement to get to share his great revelation.

“What?” Sasuke asks and brushes his wet hair from his face. In the hallway, someone shuts a door and walks past their room to the stairs, the sounds muffled but still annoyingly loud.

Naruto leans forward on the bed with a mad grin and hides his mouth behind his hand as if someone was spying on him from the window.

“We should totally try to see what’s under Sensei’s mask!”

Sasuke’s answer is to stare at him for three full seconds, not blinking.

“No.”

Naruto’s face falls.

“Oh, come on, Sasuke! That’s like the most important thing we always did on our missions together! We can’t just skip it now, it’s a tradition! A Team 7 thing! Our bonding moment!”

 “No.”

“But _why?_ ” Naruto howls and leans even more forward until he lands on his stomach on the bed, his arms drooping over the edge of the mattress and his fingertips tapping against the floor.

“You have the memory of a goldfish, don’t you?” Sasuke says and smirks when Naruto pouts. “I told you I have already seen his face, so I have no interest in your schemes of sneaking around to get to see it again. It’s not going to work. It never has. And before you ask – no, I won’t still tell you what he looks like.”

“Solidarity, Sasuke, solidarity – ”

“I had no idea you knew words that difficult – ”

“ _Sasukeeeeeee_ …”

“The answer is still no.”

“Stupid bastard,” Naruto mutters and buries his face in the rumpled blankets. “Where is your team spirit? This would be a chance to build our _teamwork_. Sensei was always preaching about that – he would _want_ us to try to see his face!”

“I really doubt that.”

Naruto emerges from the blankets and sits back up on his ass, now pointing an accusatory finger at Sasuke.

“You will have to either participate in our master plan or tell me and Sakura what he looks like. Otherwise we’ll kick you out of Team 7!”

“Still not interested,” Sasuke states, straightening the front of his yukata, and heads for the door. There’s a beautiful sunset outside, and the inn has a garden. There is no way Sasuke is spending the whole evening cooped up in here with Naruto. “And whatever it is that you have planned, it’s not going to work. We didn’t manage to sneak up on him when were kids, and I don’t even remember how many times we tried. And Kakashi has only grown slyer since then.”

 “Well of course we didn’t succeed back then, we were clueless genin kids! Now we are elite shinobis, the best Konoha – no, the entire Land of Fire, the entire Shinobi World has to offer! We can’t possibly fail now!”

“Yeah, well, tell that to Kakashi when you see him,” Sasuke says and opens the door.

“You’re not listening! I have a _master_ plan,” Naruto shouts and shakes his head at Sasuke. “We go out there and you distract him while I wait in hiding – “

“No.”

“You’re the distraction since you have already seen his face, we all have to make sacrifices in our lives. So, I wait somewhere, maybe in the backyard while you chat with him, and when the right moment comes and Sensei’s not expecting anything, I’ll – “

“No,” Sasuke says and steps out of the room.

“ _You can’t do this to me, Sasuke!_ ” is the last he hears of Naruto’s theatrical howls before he slams the door shut, biting his lip to keep himself from grinning.

Downstairs, Sasuke passes by a small dining room full of families with small children enjoying their late supper. There are no members of their group among them, so Sasuke makes his way to the end of the hallway where there is a door to the inn’s tiny garden and terrace.

Once Sasuke gets the cranky door open, he is met by a soft breeze and the sight of the rest of his old team vacating the terrace. There are a few other guests outside, two young couples and an old woman herding her three little grandchildren who run in zigzags across the small garden, squealing and laughing and trying to catch non-existent fireflies. The other guests are admiring the view of sun-scorched fields spreading over low hills and meadows and the small river that threads across the scenery, a winding line reflecting the colours of the sky.

Sakura waves Sasuke over when she notices him. She and Kakashi are lounging in the farthest corner of the terrace where there are at least some shadows to protect them from the last bright rays of the sun. Sakura is sprawled over an old, unsteady plastic garden chair that at some point in time has been white, but in its current condition doesn’t match the pure shade of her lacy summer dress. The sleeveless garment reveals Sakura’s burned shoulders which are almost as red as Sasuke’s, but where his face has got fried and roasted in the sun, she has just gained pretty freckles.

Next to her, Kakashi is sitting on the planks of the terrace, his bare feet buried in the cool grass while a pair of sandals wait nearby. He has finally discarded his dark shinobi gear and is instead wearing a light t-shirt and one of those surgical masks he keeps around for hot days like this one. He has a book open on his lap, one finger holding the page as he digs through a bowl of watermelon slices he has next to him. He barely looks up from his search when Sasuke grabs another plastic chair, lands it next to Sakura’s and kicks his shoes off.

“Where is the client? And the ANBU?” Sasuke asks as he sits down.

“Some of Hana’s old friends live in this town so she wanted to go to see if they were still up at this hour. Sensei asked Alligator to escort her,” Sakura answers and wiggles her eyebrows conspiratorially as she shifts her gaze between Sasuke and Kakashi, happy to be part of the secret. “Where’s Naruto?”

“Upstairs.”

“So, what did you do to him this time?” Kakashi asks and plays with his mask as he tries to eat without Sakura having the chance to get a glimpse of his face. “We could hear him crying from here.”

“Apparently betrayed out friendship by not playing along with him and his evil schemes of sneaking around to get to see your face.”

“Ah, that explains it,” Kakashi drawls, cranes his neck to look over his shoulder at Sasuke and makes a tutting sound with his tongue. “What a heartless traitor you are, abandoning him like that.”

“Yeah, that’s what he said,” Sasuke notes and gives Kakashi a tired grin. He leans back on his chair – as far as he dares as the thing is old and frail and the back gives out underneath him – and rests one hand against his chin. Sakura snickers as Kakashi rolls his eyes at Sasuke and shakes his head before returning to his book. He plucks another melon slice out of the bowl and almost gets some of the juice on his book.

Sasuke closes his eyes and enjoys the light breeze on his face. The wind smells of grass and pollen and the river, and the quiet chatter of the guests inside creates a calm, comfortable background for the giggles and screams of the three little kids racing around the garden, doing stumbling cartwheels and blowing bubbles that float in the sweltering air, glowing in bright colours.

The chair Sakura is sitting on screeches when she leans forward, her elbows on her knees, and stares intently at Kakashi. Kakashi, on the other hand, has his book open on his lap, but his gaze is fixed on something in the distance, has been for a while now, lost in thought.

“ _Sensei_ ~ ” Sakura sings ominously while batting her eyelashes. “Are you thinking of someone? Hana, perhaps?”

Kakashi blinks a few times and glances at his book to see that he is still on the same page as he was five minutes ago before slowly turning to look at Sakura.

“No? Should I be?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Sakura chirps and inches her chair closer to him, her chin now cupped in her palms as she stares down at him. “You and Hana have just been so cosy together for the last few days. A girl can’t help but wonder if there is something going on between the two of you.”

“I haven’t noticed,” Kakashi says and makes a show out of turning the page and burying his nose in the book.

“Oh come, Sensei! She clearly likes you! And you seemed to like her as well, or so I think, it’s so hard to tell with you sometimes, you’re so weird, but like – you can’t deny that she is _beautiful!_ Like, seriously beautiful. And nice and kind and – ”

“Whatever you say, Sakura.”

“ – and alright, she’s a civilian and lives pretty much on the other side of the planet, but this is your once in a lifetime chance to find true love and you’re not doing anything about it!”

Sasuke tilts his head to the side and considers Sakura with a lop-sided grin.

“Are you sure _you’re_ not the one having a crush on Hana?”

“Me?” Sakura whirls around to look at Sasuke. She stops to think about it, then chuckles and waves her hand dismissively. “Nah, I think I’ve had my share of fancying unnaturally pretty people with communication problems.”

 “I think that means you, Sasuke,” Kakashi says helpfully with his mouth full and hides his face behind a watermelon slice.

“Yeah, thanks, I noticed.”

“But Kakashi-sensei, are you seriously trying to say that you _weren’t_ flirting with Hana the whole way here?” Sakura says, pinches the bridge of her nose and glares at Kakashi. “Because that would be one big fat lie and we both know it.”

“I have the right to remain silent.”

“My ass you have!” Sakura scoffs and crosses her arms over her chest. “I swear, you and Sasuke are just as annoying, both of you refusing to tell us anything.”

Glancing at each other now would be just as good as telling Sakura the truth, so Kakashi and Sasuke are very careful not to do that. Instead, Kakashi smiles innocently at Sakura while fanning himself with his book and Sasuke turns on his seat to look at the entrance to see if Naruto is coming. He has been in their room for ages now.

There is no Naruto, and Sasuke tells his teammates so.

“He has probably fallen asleep and is now sprawled over his bed, snoring everyone else’s ears off,” Sakura sighs and pushes herself up from her chair. “I’ll go check up on him. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t while you’re here by yourselves, unsupervised.”

Once the door slams shut after her, Sasuke inches his chair closer to where Kakashi is sitting and leans over the armrest of the chair to snatch a melon slice from Kakashi’s bowl.

“Go get your own bowl, dear,” Kakashi says and grabs the bowl to hold it protectively in his arms and away from Sasuke’s reach.

“Sharing is caring,” Sasuke informs him and leans further from his seat to steal another slice from Kakashi who sighs and places the bowl back to where it was, then gives up and nudges it closer to Sasuke.

“I’ve missed you too,” Kakashi says in a dry tone and leans his chin on his hand, his elbow resting on his knee. He watches Sasuke with the split eyebrow raised. “Do tell me, what was your role in Naruto’s diabolical plan supposed to be?”

“Distracting you,” Sasuke says, happily munching his melon, and taps Kakashi’s shoulder with his bare foot just for the sake of being annoying.

Kakashi scratches his chin.

 “Distracting me?” he says slowly, exaggerating the thoughtfulness of his voice. There is a lazy grin on his face. “I like this plan already.”

“I thought you would, so I said no.”

Kakashi snorts and raises a brow at him again, amused. He turns around so that he is now fully facing Sasuke, his long legs crossed in front of him on the floor, and watches the fields in the distance. Sasuke gathers his legs on the chair, wraps a loose arm around his folded knees and realises only after doing so to fear for his safety in the ancient plastic death-trap. Far away from them, the sun is setting.

 “What were you so furiously thinking about earlier?” Sasuke asks, watching the sunset. He glances at Kakashi and then moves his gaze back to the horizon. “Was Sakura right – should I be expecting you to leave me for Hana any minute now?”

Kakashi chortles at this. He leans back on his hands, lifts his chin and looks up at Sasuke from his place on the terrace floor.

“Well, she _is_ awfully pretty, as we heard,” he laughs and swats Sasuke’s foot away when Sasuke tries to kick him in the chest. “And she certainly would be more well-behaved than you.”

“Go sweep her off her feet, see if I care,” Sasuke growls and yanks his foot away when the bastard starts tickling him.

“Aww, is someone jealous?” Kakashi chuckles and moves closer to Sasuke’s chair so he can lean his arm on Sasuke’s crossed leg and rest his chin on his arm.

“Fuck off.” Sasuke looks back to the door. “Someone might see us. Or we might break the chair, you’re heavy.”

“Naruto and Sakura are still upstairs. And Alligator and Hana haven’t come back. No one else knows or cares who we are,” Kakashi says and closes his eyes. He sighs the next words. “It was you who I was thinking about. It’s always you.”

“Hn.”

“That whole Hana thing… There are other ways to keep the ANBU off our back if it bothers you,” Kakashi says, his voice low and quiet, his eyes still closed.

“Nah, keep flirting with her,” Sasuke says and massages his neck. “Naruto and Sakura are buying it, and Alligator probably does too if they do. I would like him to believe it, it makes things easier.”

Kakashi meets his eyes and shrugs when Sasuke doesn’t look like he is about to change his mind.

“Alright.”

They are content to just sit there, Kakashi leaning on Sasuke’s legs, humming silently, and Sasuke resting his cheek on his hand, watching Kakashi and the sunset. The few other guests are heading inside in small groups, and inside the inn, the everyday sounds of people chatting in the dining room are quieting down. It’s getting late, and most of families with children must have retired to their rooms and beds by now. It’s calm and drowsy in the backyard.

That is, until they hear the cacophony of Naruto and Sakura traipsing down the stairs and making a noisy detour to the kitchen. Sighing, Kakashi straightens himself but lingers in Sasuke’s warmth, slow to move back to where he left his book. He looks up at Sasuke with a tired but not surprised expression on his face.

“So long then,” he chuckles as he pushes himself up on his feet, steadying himself on Sasuke’s leg, and saunters away to go sit near one of the poles that support the roof of the terrace.

Sasuke arranges his legs more neatly on the chair and tugs his yukata to better cover his knees just before Naruto and Sakura barge through the door. They both have two popsicles in their hands, Naruto is already licking one of his own.

“Hi guys!” he says in the middle of slurping down the treat.

“What were you up to while we were away?” Sakura asks as she lands back on her chair and hands one of her popsicles to Sasuke.

“Nothing,” is Sasuke’s nonchalant answer as he takes the offered popsicle and enjoys the show of Naruto marching up to Kakashi, giving him a popsicle and staying right where he is, right in front of Kakashi and peering into his face without blinking.

“…is there something you wanted, Naruto?” Kakashi asks when Naruto hasn’t moved for half a minute.

“Oh, no, I’m fine. Thanks for asking,” Naruto answers in a light tone and tries not to blink or rub his itching eyes.

Melted ice threatens to drip on Kakashi’s trousers. He waves the popsicle farther from himself and looks helplessly at it and then Naruto.

“Naruto, come here and let Sensei eat in peace,” Sakura says in a motherly tone. Sasuke hides his laughter behind his hand.

“But Sakuraaaaaa, I wanna seeeeeee!” Naruto pouts and waves his own popsicle so wildy that Kakashi has to duck to avoid getting his good eye pierced by it.

But nobody says no to Sakura, and when she grabs Naruto by the collar of his shirt and throws Sasuke a glare that tells him to follow, they leave their team leader alone with his popsicle and dirty book and walk to the garden. The children from earlier have gone to sleep, but they have left their soap water and bubble blower lying in the grass. Naruto slurps his popsicle down in one go and gets excited about bubbles, blowing them in the air around Sakura and into Sasuke’s face.

Sakura starts making flower crowns, and Naruto wants to learn how to make them too, so he dumps the bubble blower into Sasuke’s arms, and well, Sasuke has always been one to take his revenge. So they sit there in the grass, and Sakura teaches the boys how to make flower crowns while they take turns blowing rainbow-coloured bubbles into the summer breeze. Naruto is extra-careful with the flowers, his fingers are slow and clumsy and awkward, and sometimes either Sakura or Sasuke has to reach over to help him. Every now and then they yell something at Kakashi who waves back from the terrace without even lifting his gaze from his book.

At some point, Naruto pops a bubble with the tip of his finger, tilts his head to the side so that the crown made out of daisies and dandelions sways dangerously on top of his light, messy hair, and grins at Sasuke.

“It is someone’s birthday tomorrow ~ ”

“Whose?” Sasuke asks and racks his brain trying to remember if he has forgotten the birthday of someone important. Sakura’s was in March, so it can’t be that, Kakashi’s is not until September and Naruto’s only after that…

“Yours, you idiot!” Naruto laughs and points a finger at him. “Did you seriously forget?”

Sasuke blinks in confusion. Is it already so late in July?

“Shut up, dead last. You would forget your own head somewhere if it wasn’t attached to the rest of your body.”

“Hey!” Naruto shouts and tries to lunge at Sasuke, but Sasuke shoves him off and sends Naruto falling on his back into the flowers.

They tumble in the garden for a while until Sakura gets enough of them and tells them she is going to bed. She brushes off petals from her dress and walks inside with a quick wave at Kakashi. Naruto lets out a big, loud yawn and decides that he has bothered Sasuke enough for the night.

As the door closes behind him, Sasuke walks over to Kakashi and drops one of the flower crowns on his head. He sits down next to Kakashi on the steps of the terrace and tugs and folds his yukata neatly under him. Sasuke slips his feet out of his sandals and places the shoes on the wooden step next to him. The grass is cool under his feet when he rests them on the ground and curls his toes. Someone has left the radio on inside, and a quiet tune of an old love song dances in the air.

Kakashi leans his head back against the pole, his chin up, and closes his eyes. A soft wind ruffles his hair and the loose, short sleeves of his shirt. The white t-shirt almost glows in the dusk of the evening – twilight has turned everything blue. Cicadas are singing in the distance.

Sasuke runs a hand through his hair and glances at the view of countryside, of fields and the river and fireflies dancing in the air.

“We should tell them,” he says and watches as the long grass bends in the breeze. He pauses for a second, squints his eyes, and then looks at Kakashi. “They know about the Elders and they know to watch their mouths around Alligator. It wouldn’t make that much of a difference if they knew about the rest as well.”

“If that’s what you want, then that’s what we’ll do.”

Sasuke frowns.

“And you? What do you want?”

Kakashi opens his eyes. He looks past Sasuke to the darkening sky, not moving.

His sharingan spins wildly before it focuses on Sasuke when he finally meets Sasuke’s gaze.

“I think I would like them to know too,” he says, stretching the words and silences between them. Then he smiles and taps his book against his thigh decisively. “So let’s go with that.”

Almost surprised, Sasuke nods. Then he nods again, and this time with a small grin on his lips.

Kakashi nudges him with his knee and silently points upwards. Slowly, one by one, stars appear on the clear, dark sky. Sasuke wraps his arms around his legs, leans his chin against his knees and watches the faraway lights blinking in the distance.

A companionable silence lingers between them as they sit there gazing at the stars. Behind them, the inn settles down for night, the familiar sounds slowly fade as the last guests head towards their rooms. It's only when there are just a few members of staff busying themselves with closing the diner and switching off the lights inside that Sasuke blinks himself awake from his haze.

“The ANBU and Hana haven’t come back yet?”

“No. She probably has a lot to catch up on with her friends,” Kakashi says in a quiet voice. He is playing with a corner of his book, fiddling with the already worn thing. Sasuke reaches over to catch Kakashi’s wrist.

“Stop that.”

Kakashi looks up at him, one eyebrow raised.

“It’s annoying,” Sasuke mutters with a frown as he lets go of Kakashi’s wrist and yanks his hand back to his lap. His expression turns into a scowl when Kakashi laughs at him, tilting his head to the side, and leans his chin on his hand.

“Is this the part where you distract me so Naruto can jump at me when I least expect it?” Kakashi asks, still half-smiling behind the light mask. Sasuke blinks sheepishly at him, trying and failing to connect the dots in his sleepy brain.

“What?”

“Naruto’s evil master plan to see this?” Kakashi chuckles and vaguely waves a hand towards his face.

“Ah. I don’t know, might be. Am I distracting you?” Sasuke sighs and hides a yawn behind his hand. His eyelids are heavy when he tries to open his eyes again, and somewhere in the back of his mind his mother is telling him not to sit with his back hunched like that.

“Always.”

Sasuke snorts.

Kakashi picks the droopy flower crown from his head and lays it on the step next to him with care, arranging it neatly into a perfect circle. He runs a hand through his hair and scratches the back of his head so that his hair sticks up in every possible direction. The hand moves down to massage his neck and stays there when Kakashi turns his head to consider Sasuke with a curious look on his face.

“Do you think…” he drawls in a laidback tone while tapping a rhythm against the back of his book with his other hand, “…that the others would notice if it was a clone sleeping in your bed instead of you?”

“They wouldn’t notice it if it was Danzou,” Sasuke scoffs as he pushes himself up to his feet. After the sundown, it’s cool outside in the dark, enough to make Sasuke feel chilly when he picks up his shoes from the grass and dusts the back of his yukata. He hugs the shoes against his chest and glares at Kakashi who has so far made no effort to get up.

“Are you coming or not?”

“Yes, yes, yes, I’m coming,” Kakashi smiles, finishes the hand signs for the clone jutsu and stands up to go after Sasuke.

 

o0o

 

_The 23rd of July, the fifth year of peace  
Town of Green Tea, the Land of Fire_

A sudden pull of gravity is what wakes Sasuke up.

He snaps his eyes open, scrambles backwards to keep himself from plunging off the bed and crashes right into Kakashi’s side.

Kakashi’s elbow is hard against his back, and Sasuke’s hair, stuck under his own shoulder, chains his head into an uncomfortable angle. While Sasuke curses the discomforts of the small single bed, Kakashi mumbles something incomprehensible behind him and turns his back to Sasuke as a protest. With a grunt, Sasuke tugs his hair out from underneath himself, still sleepy enough to be disoriented and to have his heart pounding in his ears like a steam engine on the run.

The room is dim, there is a thick curtain drawn over the window to keep the light out, and Sasuke has to pat the mattress to locate its edge and the drop to the death before he dares to move again. He sighs and buries his head back into the pillow.

His thoughts drift to the clone they sent to his room to fool Naruto. What are the chances that it still exists and is soundly sleeping in the bed Sasuke is supposed to vacating right now?

Not that good. 

Sasuke swears out loud after that thought.

“What time is it?” comes a sleepy question from somewhere near his shoulder. Kakashi turns back around at the cursing and presses his forehead against Sasuke’s neck, barely conscious, and then seems to fall back asleep.

“How am I supposed to know…” Sasuke mutters in a groggy voice, his throat dry, but pushes himself on his elbows and cranes his neck to take a look at the clock anyway. It’s only a little past seven in the morning, and after telling Kakashi so, Sasuke is happy to slump back on the bed and close his eyes.

A strong arm is wrapped around his waist.

“Happy birthday,” Kakashi mumbles against Sasuke’s neck, his lips hot on Sasuke’s skin, and squeezes him in a drowsy attempt of a hug.

Sasuke’s first reaction is to scoff and roll his eyes, but after getting that over with, he relaxes into the warm embrace and lets Kakashi bury his face in his dark hair. It’s not the worst beginning of a birthday he has got over the years, even though a part of him wants to squirm away just because it is so hot in there in the small room with Kakashi’s entire body pressed against his bare side.

Kakashi chuckles at his lack of response and leans over to press a kiss mostly made of air on Sasuke’s furrowed brow. He doesn’t get very far before Sasuke pushes him off, complaining and muttering curses. There is a limit to how much sappiness Sasuke can take this early in the morning.

But it doesn’t mean he isn’t up for something else.

Before Kakashi has stopped laughing at him for shoving him away, Sasuke rolls over and slightly unsteadily climbs on top of Kakashi. Their warm thighs and knees brush together as he tries to find his balance, and the bed creaks underneath them when he moves to have his knees on either side of Kakashi.

Sasuke grimaces at the sound and stops to listen for two rapid breaths, perched on top of his Hokage with his whole body stiff and ready to bounce at the smallest sound. Kakashi, on the other hand, seems to have no concerns over the matter as he lies on the bed, studying Sasuke and waiting to see what he’ll come up with next, his lips lazy with the curve of a smirk. 

Grunting, Sasuke decides that the sound alerted no one, and if it did, he doesn’t care. He grabs Kakashi’s wrists and pins them on the mattress over his head where the light hair has created a white halo against the sheets. He leans down so that his dark hair cascades over his shoulders down to frame Kakashi’s face.

“Now?” Kakashi asks, his voice breathy with amusement, as he meets Sasuke’s deep, dark gaze with his own. He makes no move to yank his hands out of Sasuke’s grip, not even when Sasuke puts more pressure on his hands and pins him down harder. He raises one sleek silver brow. “Really, this early in the morning?”

 “Shut up, it’s my birthday.”

Kakashi is still chuckling when Sasuke kisses him, almost as if in a hurry, all no-nonsense and straight to the point. The single blanket they shared is heaped around Sasuke’s hips and pooling around Kakashi’s thighs, but it begins to slide towards the floor when Sasuke lowers himself down to press his full weight against Kakashi. Kakashi tries to move his left hand, and when Sasuke lets go of his wrist, the hand travels down his side and slips between them and –

There is a loud knock at the door.

_“Kakashi-sensei! Are you awake?”_

Sasuke stops for the second time this morning with a blank look on his face. Slowly, he pulls away from Kakashi and gets back up on his knees, brushes his hair from his face and turns to consider the door in no hurry. Under him, Kakashi has thrown an arm over his eyes. His body has turned slack as if it was spineless as he lays there complaining.

“ – every fucking time, every single fucking time… I’m going to skin him and feed him to the dogs and let Gai train him for a month – in that order – ”

Sasuke listen to the mumbling only with half an ear. He climbs over Kakashi to get out of the bed and pays no mind to it when Kakashi rolls away from him to face the wall and keeps swearing and cursing Naruto.

 “ _Sensei! Come on, we know you're awake!_ ”

That’s Sakura.

Sasuke’s yukata is still where they left it last night, neatly draped on top of the back of a chair. Sasuke’s bare feet are silent on the mat as he crosses the room. He pulls on the yukata, one wide sleeve at a time, and ties the belt so loosely that he is just barely dressed, the loose smooth fabric hiding only what is strictly necessary. Naruto and Sakura asked for it – they deserve each and every inch of him.

“What are you doing?” Kakashi asks when he realises Sasuke is not on the bed anymore. He has turned on his stomach, his weight up on his elbows. The rumbled blankets covering his hips and nothing else are in the danger of falling off after Sasuke’s quick retreat.

“ _Senseeeeei! Oi, get up!”_

“Getting my revenge,” Sasuke says and checks his reflection in the mirror. Behind him, Kakashi’s eyes flash with realisation, and he fishes the blankets from the floor and hides his naked body and face behind them.

“ _I’m gonna count to ten and unless you haven’t dragged your – “_

Sasuke, with all his glory of naked skin, hickeys – old and new – and the worst bed hair he has had for weeks, marches up to the door and throws it open.

 _“ – ass here by then, I’m going to –_ “

Sasuke leans against the door frame, crosses his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow at his teammates.

“What?”

There are no words to describe the pricelessness of Naruto’s and Sakura’s expressions. It takes all Sasuke has to keep a straight face, and he imagines that Kakashi is in much the same situation where he is, trying to catch a look past Sasuke from his spot on the bed.

Naruto’s mouth is hanging open, and his sky-blue eyes are as wide as bowls. Sakura, with her face just as pink as her hair, has taken a step back and is shielding her eyes from all the half-naked men in her vision. That, however, doesn’t stop her from stealing stealthy glances through her fingers.

“Morning,” Kakashi calls out from the bed behind Sasuke. Sasuke bites back the grin that threatens to spread on his face when Naruto splutters and Sakura bursts out in hysterical giggles.

“Naruto, close your mouth. You look even dumber than usual with it hanging open like that and that’s an achievement in itself,” Sasuke says and shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

Naruto closes his mouth with an audible _snap_. Sasuke can almost see how the gears start slowly turning in his head.

“You’re here – but Sensei’s also here, does that mean – _you and Sensei?_ But how can you be here when I just saw you in our room – and those hickeys are from… _him?_ ”

“Obviously, dead last, try to keep up,” Sasuke says. “And have you ever heard of clones?”

“But you can’t use your chakra – ”

“Yes, but he can,” Sasuke says and points his thumb over his shoulder at Kakashi, rolling his eyes.

Naruto, still unable to produce a full sentence, stares at Sasuke, then gets on his toes to peek over Sasuke’s shoulder at Kakashi.

“But – but – but _why?_ ”

“That’s my usual reaction to seeing him too,” Sasuke says. There is a slightly offended “ _Hey!_ ” shouted from somewhere behind him.

Sakura elbows Naruto out of her way to get her turn of parading in Sasuke’s personal space.

“But what about Hana? And when did this happen because we had no idea – no, wait, _wait –_ _is this what Sai meant that time at the party?_ ”

Sasuke looks over his shoulder at Kakashi who leans his chin on his hand and considers them with almost bored eyes over the pillow he has arranged to hide his mouth and nose.

“Hana is perfectly nice, but she’s just a cover to throw Alligator off our track. It’s not fair to her, but she can’t expect too much when she knows we are never going to see her again after this mission is over. And yes, this is exactly what Sai was talking about,” he says and hides a yawn behind the pillow.

Sakura and Naruto look at each other, their eyes comically wide.

“And when it comes to when this _happened_ … Well, it depends on how you define that,” Kakashi drawls and glances at Sasuke, pensive. “Pretty soon after my inauguration, wouldn’t you say?”

“Somewhere around then, though it started before that,” Sasuke adds with a shrug.

“I guess you could say that too. Maybe even since I came back from that mission, it was complicated – “

“ _WHAT?_ ”

Naruto’s yell is almost incomprehensible. He holds up his hands to get everyone to stop what they are doing.

“Are you guys trying to say that this has been going on for months _and you didn’t tell us?_ ”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

Naruto screeches, throws his arms up in the air and spins around on his feet to march away, though only to swirl around again half-way through the hallway and storm back, all the while whining something about stupid assholes and traitors. Sakura, on the other hand, seems to find to whole situation simply amusing.

“All this time I’ve been bugging you with the latest gossip about who’s with who, and then it turns out you have been sitting on the biggest scoop of the year,” she laughs and punches Sasuke’s shoulder before waving her hand at Kakashi. “And you too, Sensei, you should have said something – _ah_ , this is why the Elders are after you guys, now I see.”

“Yup,” Kakashi answers. “So if you could keep the tormenting Sasuke about this part to the moments when there is no one to overhear, that would be great.”

At this point, Sasuke is ready to throw Kakashi out with the rest of Team 7.

“Guys, this has been nice and all, but bugger off,” Sasuke scoffs, pushes Sakura out of the doorway and glares at Naruto who is still going on about how they are unfair, smelly bastards. “What was so damn important that you had to come knocking this early anyway?”

“We thought we would plan something for your birthday with Sensei before you wake up,” Sakura explains with a bright smile.

“Maybe something at the festival, or a present or something of that sort,” Naruto continues, still sort of mumbling in a sour tone.

“But since you’re already occupied, we’ll leave you at it,” Sakura says with a scary smile, grabs Naruto by the collar and starts dragging him down the hallway. “Have fun!”

And so they are off. Naruto’s shouted “Happy birthday, asshole!” echoes through the whole floor long after he disappears behind the corner.

“Well, that wasn’t exactly how I thought we would go about it,” Kakashi muses from his place on the bed when Sasuke closes the door with a huff.

“Would you have wanted to sit down with them and slowly ease them into the information then?” Sasuke asks as he walks over to the bed. He crosses his arms over his chest and raises one sleek black brow. “Over a cup of tea, perhaps?”

 “Gods, no,” Kakashi laughs, a low sound from deep in his chest. He looks up at Sasuke again and raises a hand to catch a loose tail of the yukata’s belt, tangling his fingers in it. “Well, at least it was funny this way.”

“Funny to us or them?”

“I think there was something for everyone,” Kakashi says diplomatically and tugs the long strip of fabric, his eyes still focused on Sasuke. The sloppy knot gives out and the yukata falls open, but it takes another gentle yank before the whole garment cascades on the floor.

“Now, where were we?”

 

o0o

 

Later that day, they head for the festival held at the village in honour of summer. Hana simply enjoys the celebration, but for the rest of them it is also an opportunity to mingle with the locals and listens to rumours. Naruto and Sakura do take their chances to joke about the festival being held for Sasuke, since it is his birthday after all, though they love to tease Sasuke about Kakashi even more.

They have been at it the whole morning. In the small dining room of the inn, they closed in on Sasuke and Kakashi like a pair of hungry wolves while the two were trying to have a calm, quiet breakfast at one of the tables near the windows. When Sasuke and Kakashi spotted the incoming inquisition, Kakashi, that traitor, hid behind his book and left the talking part to Sasuke.

Which meant that Sasuke stuffed his mouth full of food and ignored Naruto and Sakura’s intrusive and repetitive questions about all the juicy details about their relationship. That only resulted in loud howling about them being mean and cruel and stupid, which in turn made Sasuke tell them to shut up and to kick Kakashi’s leg under the table to get him to say something.

Kakashi raised his head from the book, cast a bored look at his brightly-coloured former students and kicked Sasuke right back.

“Hokage’s orders,” he grunted before returning his attention back to his book.

Despite the childish whining that stunt caused, Naruto and Sakura have enough braincells not to interrogate them when Hana is in the hearing distance. And luckily, today they don’t have to worry about Alligator as Kakashi sent the ANBU to scout the forest around the tiny village. After all, they can’t be all focusing on escorting Hana when they have another mission to worry about as well.

Now, the main streets and the central square of the town, small as they may be, are filled with vendors and stalls and lanterns, balloons and children running around, giggling and squealing and waving their candies and ice creams around. The townsfolk are wearing their best, there are colourful fabrics and painted masks everywhere around them, and all the women’s have tied their hair up with flowers.

Hana squeals at something, grabs Sakura’s arm, and heads off to look at cheap jewellery at some stall at the other end of the street. Naruto saunters after them, and Sasuke goes to follow, but before he can get anywhere, Kakashi wraps a hand loosely around his wrist and pulls him to a stop. When Sasuke turns around to face him, there is an unconcerned lazy look on Kakashi’s masked face.

“What?”

Kakashi pulls his arm again, enough to get Sasuke to take a step towards him.

“Shouldn’t we be going after them?” Sasuke asks, though his tone is anything but concerned.

“Nah, they can take care of themselves for a while.”

“And what should we be doing then? What is this great idea of yours?”

“I was thinking of spending the day with you since it is your birthday after all. You have those only once a year, and on top of that, it happens to be one of the very rare days when we don’t have to mind anyone seeing us. But since you don’t want to...”

Sasuke eyes him with a blank look on his face.

“Come on, would you honestly rather hang around with the three of them than me?” Kakashi whines, faking the hurt in his voice, and tugs Sasuke’s hand.

“Do you want an honest answer to that?”

“No.”

Sasuke gives up with a sigh, shaking his head.

“You’re annoying when you’re like that,” he mutters but doesn’t fight it when Kakashi pulls him along.

“And that’s why you like me,” Kakashi chuckles and drapes his arm around Sasuke’s shoulders when Sasuke falls in step with him.

“Whatever,” Sasuke huffs, rolling his eyes, and lets his right arm rest on Kakashi’s waist as they dive in the celebration that has taken over the streets.

There is a rich scent of food and sugary desserts in the air. There are food vendors and stalls selling little trinkets in the main square, and the nearby streets are so packed with people it’s hard to move. The sea of chatter and laughter swings and sways between buildings and drowns everything underneath itself – Sasuke can barely hear it when a little boy cries after his escaped balloon, let alone his own thoughts.

An old woman with a game stall beckons them closer. She is so adamant that even when they both try to politely decline, she won’t back down and insists that they must try their luck at least once.

Sasuke doesn’t know how he ends up being the one that gets to throw a ball at a pile of cans stacked on top of each other, but he does. He is a ninja, so of course the rigged game is no match for his aim, and he sends all the cans falling in one go.

The woman squints her eyes at Sasuke but bends down to fish a large cardboard box from under the counter. She rummages through the box and eventually produces a prize for them to see – a painted mask in the likeness of the ugliest bird they have ever seen. The long beak is slightly twisted and crooked to the side, the eyeholes are a little bit uneven in every dimension possible, and the colours of mustard yellow and poison green clash quite beautifully together.

“Here. Take it to your girl back home,” the old woman says, looking almost happy to get rid of the thing and leaves Sasuke no chance to say no. She tosses the cheap plaster mask into his arms and before Sasuke can get a word out of his mouth, turns to meet her next unfortunate victim.

Sasuke stares first at her, then at the mask, and finally at Kakashi who has doubled over from laughs.

“Sorry, you just looked so hilarious – ” Kakashi howls, out of breath, but his sentence is cut short when he has to dance away from Sasuke’s hits. “Hey, it’s a bird, it suits you almost as well as your old mask, if not better.”

“Stop it, it’s not funny. What am I supposed to do with this? It’s hideous. And I don’t have a _girl_ back home, Sakura would probably just hit me if I gave her this and – okay, Naruto would find this hilarious but – didn’t I just tell you to stop laughing?”

“Sorry, sorry, I’ll stop any second now.”

Sasuke elbows him because Kakashi fucking deserves it. Then he dumps the offending piece of plaster in his hands.

“You can have if you find it so amusing. No returns, it’s yours now.”

Kakashi blinks and gives the last, breathy laugh.

“Well, thank you. I shall cherish it for the rest of my life,” he says, exaggerating the seriousness in his voice and slams the fist he is holding the mask in over his heart.

“Shut it,” Sasuke scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Get rid of it, you idiot, it’s ridiculous.”

“No, it’s mine now, you didn’t want it, so I get to do whatever I want with it.”

“And they let you run a village…”

Kakashi winks, wraps an arm around Sasuke’s shoulders and starts steering towards yet another stall.

It’s a small world, and even smaller a village, so it’s no wonder that eventually they run into the teammates they so selfishly left behind. Sasuke is the first one to spot Naruto’s bright orange garb on the other side of the crowded street.

“Stop,” he hisses and grabs Kakashi’s wrist.

“What?”

“The idiots are there,” Sasuke says and nods to where Naruto is studying a barbeque stall with Sakura and Hana. Naruto is bent over the food display, rubbing his probably growling stomach and trying to decide what to buy while the girls are talking about something next to him, laughing and throwing amused glances at Naruto every now and then.

“I don’t know about you,” Kakashi says and takes a few backward steps to where they came from, “but I don’t really miss their delightfully loud company just yet. Or…?”

“Yeah, no, I’m good. Let’s go,” Sasuke says in one breath and lays a hand on Kakashi’s shoulder to get him to move. He chances one quick look behind him as he follows Kakashi’s lead through the crowd to get away from their teammates’ line of sight, then speeds his steps so that he is nearly jogging.

And for a moment they really think they are going to make it, until –

“SASUKE, YOU BASTARD! THERE YOU ARE!”

Naruto’s yell booms over the heads of the festival visitors and makes Sasuke freeze for a fraction of a second. He closes his eyes, lets out a silent “ _Fuck”_ and glances at Kakashi.

“Can we run now?”

“Let’s.”

“SAKURA! SENSEI AND SASUKE ARE HERE! OR WERE, NOW THEY ARE RUNNING AWAY! WE GOTTA GO AFTER THEM!”

People and buildings flash past Sasuke as he runs through the crowded streets with Kakashi following him right at his heels. He zigzags past the festival visitors, pushing them out of the way or slipping through the slightest gaps to escape his teammates whose footsteps thunder on the cobblestones. The sounds keep getting louder and louder, as do Naruto’s occasional shouts and Sakura’s curses, so Sasuke has no option but to take longer strides.

They hit a straight road, and Kakashi with his longer legs takes the lead, leaping over baskets and stalls to cut corners. Sasuke risks a glance over his shoulder to see that Sakura has overtaken Naruto and is gaining on them.

“Go, go, go!” he yells at Kakashi. Adrenaline rushes through his body, his heartbeat drums in his ears and his breaths come out quick and harsh.

There is a crossroads right ahead, and after a few slippery steps on the smooth cobble stone they dive to the right to another street. Kakashi tries to keep running, but Sasuke stops him and tugs him into hiding in a narrow alleyway.

They press against a wall to make themselves as small as they can, not daring to breathe. Shivers run down Sasuke’s spine as if this was a real enemy after them and not two of his best friends. The wild pounding of his heart doesn’t exactly help with getting rid of that mental image. Biting his lip, Sasuke glances at Kakashi who is pressed tightly against him, but he is looking back at the street where they came from, his brows furrowed in concentration.

The commotion of Naruto and Sakura appearing at the street Sasuke and Kakashi just slipped away from can’t be missed. They keep yelling and laughing and throwing teasing comments in the air, asking for the other two to come out so Naruto and Sakura can laugh at them.

Sasuke can feel Kakashi’s heartbeat with the hand he has pressed against Kakashi’s chest. This time when he looks at Kakashi, he sees him staring back. They listen, their eyes wide and bodies stiff, as Naruto nears the alley they are in, his loud voice giving him away.

“ _I swear I saw them coming this way_ ,” Naruto shouts at Sakura whose voice responds from a distance. Sasuke and Kakashi both tense, expecting to have to start running again any second now.

“ _I think we lost them. Let’s go back, Hana’s still there waiting for us_.”

Gravel rasps alarmingly close to their hiding place when Naruto spins around on his feet. Sasuke stops breathing.

Naruto walks away.

Sasuke counts to ten, then to twenty before he allows his shoulders to sag. Kakashi leans back to carefully glance at the street to make sure Naruto and Sakura are truly gone.

“This is so stupid,” Sasuke says and slams a hand over his eyes. “Idiotic. Childish. Did we really just do that?”

Kakashi turns to look at him, one brow raised.

“We’re never going to hear the end of this,” Sasuke groans and powerlessly bumps his fist against Kakashi’s chest.

“For the record, running was your idea.”

“Shut up. You are the one who wanted to leave them behind in the first place.”

“Mmh,” Kakashi agrees and leans closer, pressing Sasuke against the wall again, his face only inches away from Sasuke’s, so close that his hair brushes against Sasuke’s forehead. He has one arm against the wall over Sasuke’s head, the other hand is in his pocket, and his whole posture is somehow slouched yet very self-assured at the same time.

“I’m serious. We just gave them a year worth of material to tease us with. Or to be more precise, to tease _me_ with,” Sasuke grunts and tries to push Kakashi off him, though with no actual effort. “Or do you actually want to listen to them singing stupid songs about us sitting in a tree and all that?”

Kakashi gives him an amused look.

“My love, my darling, the light of my life, someone should really let you know that you complain way too much,” he says flatly.

Sasuke squints his eyes at him, then closes the little distance left between them to kiss Kakashi, not caring about the mask that is still in the way, because it is the only way he can think of to shut him up.

It’s not a long kiss, though, as Sasuke soon catches movement in the corner of his eye. Annoyed, he sighs against Kakashi’s mouth and pulls away from him, ready to tell Naruto and Sakura to fuck off if they don’t want to part with their heads. He is not in the mood to deal with any kind of snide comments or taunting right now.

Sasuke opens his mouth, his eyes just thin angry slits and turns to face his teammates –

– only to see Alligator in his white uniform standing at the end of the alley, not moving, the dark eyeholes of his mask fixed on them.


End file.
